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After a quick discussion with my team, the decision was made. I would not play in Cincinnati. I am well aware that playing two hard court events in a row in two weeks could be dangerous and while I am feeling well at the moment, I can’t risk it. If I were to get injured in Cincinnati, there would be no time to heal for the US Open.
Besides, I had no points to defend there, since I didn’t play last year for the same reason as now. But still, last year the rest between Toronto and US Open couldn’t prevent the knee injury that occurred quite early in the tournament, during the match against Khachanov. I shook my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts quickly. Pondering on what I could have done differently was pointless. Titín often tells me I overthink stuff, but sometimes it’s the only way.
Sometimes, I have to sit in my bedroom for hours, thinking about my next move, about what I want. Like in April this year. I still clearly remember. The happiness of winning a tournament can dull but never erase the feeling I had after my first match in Barcelona.
Never before had my time on court felt so long, not even during practice. From the beginning of the match I wasn’t even sure I wanted to win. Winning meant having to play more matches and I was completely drained. I couldn’t even think about stepping on court again the next day. These thoughts came back strongly when I had those two set points at 5-4. The set points came and went and suddenly I had to play a tie-break I magnificently lost. This could be the first time I would lose back-to-back on clay.
I usually don’t care about these unimportant statistics but somehow this one got to me and it was in that moment I decided I didn’t want to lose. So I pulled that match off and somehow won, but there was no happiness, no satisfaction, nothing. I felt nothing. Well, I was incredibly tired, I just wanted to have a nap. That’s when I realized I needed to have a serious discussion with my team, and more importantly, with myself.
I can still hardly believe I was ready to shut down my season. I almost had. I would have if I hadn’t received a text that evening.
Hey, Raf, I know things might be a little weird at the moment, but I’m sure everything will settle down. Just keep going.
Roger and I haven’t spoken in forever, not counting a few brief exchanges in the locker rooms or on our way to practice. What we have is special. I’m not really sure what it is, but whenever we get together is amazing. But for the past few months, there was never enough time. I was honestly quite busy with my wedding plans and practicing, while his family took a lot of his free time as well. But we never got angry about that. We had an arrangement, and it didn’t involve jealousy.
However, that text was what made me get up the next morning and go to practice. And after that, thing slowly but surely started getting better and better, and when I raised that trophy in Paris, I knew I owed it all to him, because if it weren’t for that text I would be watching the Roland Garros final from my bed.
And today it’s no different. Holding the maple shaped trophy in my hands as we returned to hotel, I remembered it once again. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and surprisingly already found his text waiting for me.
Good job, Rafa. See you in Cincy?
I was just about to reply that I planned to pull out when I got an idea.
“Hey, Francis, how about we go to Cincinnati?”
The three members of my team shared annoyed glances, before Francis spoke up like he would to a small child.
“Rafael, we talked about this. You need some rest.”
I smiled patiently and squeezed my trophy a little tighter.
“No, just for practice.” My team looked at each other again.
“I don’t think this is such a good idea. There would be rumours… wait, is this about Roger?”
I bit my lip, a little sheepish. But by now I should know that they know me inside out and I couldn’t hide wanting to see Roger from them.
“Maybe.”
Francis sighed. “Well, maybe, if you agreed to practice on completely private courts. And would be careful with Roger of course. And would be careful with the organizers. It’s rude to use their courts without actually play the tournament.”
I shrugged my shoulders. I knew organizers of every tournament well and sometimes it paid off.
“I’ll take care of everything,” I said proudly. Francis and Titín rolled their eyes and I know my statement wasn’t exactly calming, but we still all laughed.
And the decision was made just like that. I will go to Cincy and practice and the main reason was to see Roger and thank him for everything.
I pulled out, but I come practice
Is everything okay?
His reply was immediate, and I couldn’t help a smile from spreading on my lips. I could hear Tomeu and Titín snickering, but I ignored them as I replied quickly.
Just tired, don’t worry. I hope to see you.
You’re welcome any time. Mi casa es su casa, remember?
I laughed loudly and restrained myself from telling him he’s been using the formal form the whole time. I loved when he tried speaking Spanish.
Great. I tell you when I arrive. 😊
Adding a smiley face seemed right.
*
We arrived in Cincinnati on Tuesday but made sure nobody knew about it and luckily nobody caught us at the airport. We took a taxi – God, I can’t even remember when was the last time I took a taxi, there were always tournament cars, but since I didn’t play, I couldn’t exactly ask for a tournament car. They would have got me one immediately, but it didn’t feel right.
An hour later we were at our hotel. It was the same one Roger was staying in, he sent me the address yesterday. The day was still quite young and since I knew Roger is playing a match later today, I wanted to meet him before. I couldn’t wait to see him again.
After we settled in, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and texted him.
You up for coffee?
I anxiously waited for the reply, sweating a little bit and nervously walking up and down my hotel room. I always got like that before meeting Roger, it was a reaction I couldn’t get rid of even after all these years.
I didn’t have to wait long. Just seconds later my phone beeped, signalling an incoming message. I couldn’t get to my phone and unlock it fast enough.
Sure, right now?
Sí, I’m already here.
I’d love to. Where?
I smiled. I hoped he would ask me this. A few years ago, when we were both playing here, we went for coffee to a lovely café, close to this hotel. Since I don’t drink a lot of coffee, I had a juice, but it was really good and Roger also liked what he ordered, which was in fact coffee.
I texted him the name of the café and he agreed, even sending a few smiley faces. I got ready to leave, unable to erase the smile off my face. I pulled on my shoes and left my room, bumping into Tomeu in the hall. He only had to look at me once to know where I was going, and he snorted.
“If anybody sees you smiling at nothing like that, they’re gonna think you’re crazy.”
“Who?” I asked and winked, before pushing past him towards the door. I heard him sigh and I smirked in response before leaving quickly. “See you!”
Roger was meeting me in ten minutes, and I didn’t want to be late.
When I got to the coffee house I was out of breath and instead of taking ten minutes it only took my five. I was early. But at least this gave me the chance to pick out a nice table in the corner by the window and already order my apple juice. My palms were sweating while I waited for him to arrive. I’m unbelievable, I know. So many years later and I’m still like that.
He arrived when I was already halfway through my juice. I know this is impolite, but I needed something to do while I was waiting.
He smiled widely when he saw me, and I couldn’t stop myself from copying him. I stood up when he came up to the table and hugged him loosely.
“Hey,” he greeted quietly. My smile widened.
“Hi,” I replied.
We sat down and Roger called the waiter over. As I expected he would, he ordered coffee.
“Congratulations on the title, you were pretty amazing out there,” he said, after the waiter left with his order. I could feel the blood rush into my cheeks, and I looked down to hide my blush. Of course I couldn’t hide it from him. I heard his soft chuckle and forced myself to look back up, smiling a little sheepishly at him.
“Thank you. I was very lucky, no? Fognini got injured, then Monfils gave me walkover.”
“Oh, come on, don’t be so modest, darling. You played amazing in every match.” I love when he calls me darling. It makes me feel so special.
It was my turn to chuckle. “Oh, please, did you even watch?”
We looked at each other and then laughed, knowing that we were both exaggerating a little. We dropped it. Our tennis discussions could get pretty lengthy and heated.
“How did you spend holidays?” I asked after the laughter quieted down.
Roger shook his shoulders. “We went around Switzerland with the kids for a little while. Then I practiced. You?”
I explained how I went to Sardinia with a few of my friends and from there home with Beethoven. Then I spent a few days inside with Mery, before I got back to practice.
“Wait, so was this the first part of your bachelor party?”
I grinned at his suggestive smirk. “Yes. It was a lot of fun.”
We fell into an easy conversation about how we spent our vacations and I asked him about his children. I haven’t seen them in forever and I missed them even though they were always shy towards me.
We were talking for about half an hour, before Roger asked me why I actually wanted to meet him.
“Were you planning on coming here to practice all along?”
“No,” I answered truthfully, shaking my shoulders. “Just… Winning in Montreal reminded me of your message you sent me in Barcelona. And I… I wanted to thank you.”
“Oh… Of course, Rafa, you don’t need to thank me.”
“I do. I really do. I would end my season, if not for you.” I admitted. I never told anyone the reason I decided to continue. People gave me too much credit. They thought it was my mentality, but it was really all Roger.
“Really?” he asked. He seemed stunned. I suppose this did make me seem weak. “I didn’t know it was this bad, Rafa.”
I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what to say. “It was quite bad,” I said finally. Roger was looking at me with his sincere eyes and I found myself wanting to tell him everything. Spill every emotion to him. “After Indian Wells I simply didn’t enjoy tennis anymore. Until your message.”
Roger reached over and touched my hand suddenly. My first instinct was to pull it away, we were in public. But after a short look around I noticed nobody was in fact looking at us. So I gripped his hand and sought comfort in the small gesture.
“What changed?”
“I don’t know. Just to know someone believed in me.” Roger smiled at that and gripped my hand even more tightly.
“And look where it got you,” he exclaimed, loudly enough that a few people from the neighbouring tables looked at us. Our hands quickly jumped apart. I couldn’t help but laugh at his face as he covered his mouth with his hand. “Three titles, Rafa,” he continued, this time almost in a whisper.
Suddenly, there was tension in between us, and I uncomfortably averted my eyes. I knew this kind of tension. After I got this feeling, we usually ended up in a bed together. By the darkening of Roger’s eyes, I could tell he was feeling it too. We stared at each other for a few seconds, our legs finding each other’s under the table.
“You wanna head back to the hotel?” Roger asked. I nodded so quickly I almost broke my neck. Roger smirked a little, before waving the waiter over.
“Let me pay,” I said quickly, before Roger could pull his wallet out. Roger knew a debate over this could get long, so he let me pay, before we quickly headed out. The walk back to the hotel was awkward and quiet. I was getting goose bumps on my skin and by taking one look at Roger I could tell he felt uncomfortable as well. It was always like that with us. Strong, almost electric, unable to resist.
We entered the hotel lobby, getting a few glances we decided to ignore and walked straight to the elevators. We were in a hurry. The tension in between us couldn’t wait anymore. We didn’t even wait for the elevator doors to completely close. Roger had me pushed against one wall before I could react. I heard he pressed a button, before his lips pressed against mine. I shivered all over, it’s been way too long. God, I missed this so much. With Roger it was completely different than with Mery. He always took the control and left me completely helpless and needy for him.
I kissed him back hard, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him close. Our tongues danced together. I could still vaguely sense the coffee he had drunk. I didn’t care one bit about the security cameras. It was like nothing except me and Roger existed anymore. All too soon the elevator doors opened and only then I realized how risky that has been. Luckily for us, nobody had seen us, which I couldn’t say for the security cameras.
Roger took my hand and led me quickly towards his hotel room. It physically ached not being able to touch him and I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on him. I was already hard in my jeans and I was far past the point of being embarrassed. I just wanted him.
He fumbled with his key card, while my greedy fingers already went to his button up and started unbuttoning the too many buttons. He pecked me quickly on the lips, before opening the hotel doors and pulling me inside quickly. The doors slammed shut after us and just seconds later we were lying on the bed, still fully clothed with Roger on top of me.
Our kisses were wild and passionate, and I quickly got back to the task of getting him naked. His lips moved to my neck while I unbuttoned the last button and quickly pushed the shirt off his shoulders.
I moaned as his lips hit a particularly sensitive spot on my neck and bit into it. I reflexively dug my nails into the skin of his back. He sucked on my skin and I had no doubt this would leave a mark. His hips lowered onto mine and I arched my back at the pleasure that came from our crotches rubbing together. I ran my hand from his shoulders down to his ass, unfortunately still clad in jeans and pressed him closer.
He moaned into my neck and I, wanting to hear it again, rolled my hips up into his and clutched his ass with both of my hands.
We could get off like that. We’ve had so many times I couldn’t even count it anymore. Whenever there was no time, or we couldn’t afford to get completely undressed, or when we were too impatient for anything else.
But today, I didn’t want it to be like that, so I pushed Roger away, both of us panting. He discarded his half undressed shirt, while I managed to get his belt unbuckled, completely intentionally brushing my hand over the bulge in his jeans. He helped me get them down his legs and out of them, glaring at me because I teased him like that.
I sat up and took off my shirt and my own jeans, before I flipped us around, straddling him. Roger was looking at me with wide eyes, his pupils dilated and cheeks flushed. I leaned down and kissed him on the mouth, my hand sneaking down to touch him through his boxers. He moaned into my mouth and arched his hips up, but I took my hand away quickly.
I moved my lips from his mouth to his ear, taking his earlobe in between my lips and pulling on it slightly. He almost purred at that and pulled me closer, his hands taking hold of my hips and pushing my hips down against his.
“I wanna suck you,” I whispered in his ear, before we could get back to grinding together like that. I wasn’t sure I could stop myself the second time. Roger groaned and immediately let go of my hips.
“Okay,” was all he could manage, and I smirked, pecking him on the lips once, before I scooted down the bed and settled in between his spread legs. At first, I only kissed him through his boxers, sucking on the head and leaving the material damp underneath. I could taste the salty liquid seeping through, and it only spurned me on.
I hooked my fingers underneath the band and pulled his boxers down slowly until I removed them together with his socks. We laughed a little at that, even in the state we were in. I leaned back down and took a hold of him, taking him into my mouth. I loved this. I loved the closeness and intimacy of it. And more than anything I loved how Roger reacted.
I used my tongue and made sure to take in as much as I could. It left Roger moaning and gripping the sheets. As the head touched the back of my throat, I gagged and pulled back, but brought my hand up to touch and fondle his balls. Roger’s thighs trembled at that and after I got some air, I took him back into my mouth. I bobbed my head up and down, loving every single moan and whimper that came from his mouth. His balls were twitching in my palm. I loved how much power I held over him in that moment.
Suddenly, I felt his hand on the back of my neck and the next time I tried to take him completely in, I felt him push me down. I swallowed around him, digging my nails into his thighs in slight discomfort, but my own cock was twitching, I couldn’t deny how aroused that made me.
“Just like that,” he groaned. “Fuck, yes.”
He knew my limitations well and he let me back up just as it was starting to get really uncomfortable. He let me kitten lick him and suck at the head for a few more moments, before he pulled me up by my hair until he could kiss me again, licking deep into my mouth. I was sure he could taste himself and the thought made me greedily push my hips into his.
“I want you,” he growled against my lips. I could never resist. I moaned into his mouth and kissed him hard before I rolled off him and quickly got rid off my boxers and socks. We were both completely naked now.
“You can have me always,” I replied, meaning it completely. Roger smiled and kissed me once more, before he got off the bed and towards the suitcase that was lying open in the corner of the room. Before I could blink, he was holding a bottle of lube and a condom in his hand.
I lazily eyed him up and down. He was standing like a god there, his face flushed, chest sweaty and cock rock hard. I whined, I couldn’t wait to have him on me.
Roger was here in a second, all over me, kissing me, stroking my thighs, my stomach, teasingly over my cock. At this point, I was so hard it hurt.
He parted my thighs without his lips ever leaving mine and I willingly spread my legs, hearing the sound of the tube opening. A second later there were cold fingers in between my legs, dripping wet with lube, first slipping over my balls and taint, before I felt them on my hole and a second later, inside me.
I groaned and clenched up, it’s been so long. But Roger went slow, he waited for me to relax while patiently kissing my neck and chest. After a while the uncomfortable feeling got pleasurable and I moaned.
“More,” I ordered and heard Roger chuckle, right against my nipple. He pushed another finger into me at the same time his lips closed around my nipple and I arched into the touch.
Roger prepared my patiently, but he wasn’t losing any time. Soon enough he added the third finger, but I couldn’t complain. My whole body was shaking in anticipation of what was to come, and I just couldn’t wait anymore.
“Okay, okay, I’m ready,” I said, grabbing Roger’s wrist and pushing his hand away. He looked at me with doubtful eyes, but I kept on my brave face until he finally gave in. He passed me the condom. I quickly tore the package open and rolled it onto him, before taking the lube and leathering him in a generous amount.
He entered me slowly and carefully, but in the beginning it was still a little painful. I squeezed my eyes shut and distracted myself with kissing him.
“Oh, God,” I sighed when he was fully inside and allowed myself to relax. I loved the full feeling this gave me. “God, this feels so good,” I moaned.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Come on, harder!” He pulled out and pushed back in a little faster. I arched my back, moaning. He was so good at this. I locked my heels behind his back and pulled his body onto mine completely until we were touching everywhere. I kissed him, because it was the only way for me to be quiet. I busied myself with biting on his lips as his thrusts got faster and harder.
I only needed to angle my hips a little up and it was perfect, his cock hitting just the right spot. I couldn’t keep quiet after that, it was too good. I threw my head back, my eyes squeezed shut and moaned. The pleasure was tingling right down to my toes, making them curl. I was without a doubt leaving marks on Roger’s back, I was unintentionally scratching him.
He groaned into my neck and with his free hand squeezed my thigh which I in return pressed even closer to his hips. Our bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle and desperately I held him even closer. His thrusts became erratic and I could tell he was close.
“Come on, yes, Rogi, come in me.” He bit into my neck, his hips getting sloppy as he reached his peak. He groaned lowly against my skin, while I could feel him twitching inside. His body shook with the aftershocks and I, myself, was so close I could cry.
Roger soothed the throbbing bite mark on my neck with his tongue, before he pulled out. I winced.
“Sorry, turn around.” I was too aroused to argue, and I was glad I didn’t, because just seconds later, there were Roger’s large hands on my ass cheeks, spreading me apart and licking right there. Knowing his tongue was where his cock was just seconds ago made me whimper and desperately push my cock against the sheets.
He licked at me, and knowing how desperate I was, he also pushed one hand under me and touched my cock, squeezing and stroking me as much as he could, squished between my stomach and the mattress. I bit into the pillow to stop my moans and whimpers of pleasure and oversensitivity. All of these touched were too much. I didn’t want weather I wanted more or less.
My body decided instead of me and I reached behind me, gripping Roger’s hair and holding him right there, because I just needed to come, I couldn’t take this anymore.
It took only a few seconds after that. I came with a yell, my body locking up and occasionally jerking. Pleasure was almost painful at this point and it went on forever, Roger making sure to keep me going for as long as he could, licking me and squeezing every last drop out of my cock. For a few seconds there was nothing but darkness in front of my eyes.
When I finally came back to myself, Roger was gone, but he appeared from the bathroom right away with a wet towel. He wiped me down, paying special attention to the area in between my legs. I smiled at him thankfully and finally let myself relax.
“Dios, that was so good,” I said, my voice hoarse. Roger smirked and leaned down to kiss me.
“I’m glad. I missed you.”
I reached up and touched the side of his face, pulling him down into another long kiss. I was almost able to get Roger back in bed, before he finally pulled away, laughing.
“I missed you too,” I said, hoping that would convince him to stay.
“Chico, I have practice,” he said. “You look really tired. And not just from the sex. Stay here, huh? Sleep a little before returning to your team. Or if you want you can stay here until I get back. I wouldn’t mind a second round.” He smirked suggestively and I laughed.
“Okay,” I agreed, and I could see I surprised him. I usually didn’t stay after sex. But I was truly tired, and I didn’t want a long interrogation from my team. Plus, I wouldn’t mind another round either.
“Okay?” Roger repeated.
“Yes. I sleep until your match, no? Then I watch it and when you get back…” I paused and leaned really close to reach his ear, “I really want to ride you.”
Let’s just say Roger left the room with a boner.
*