Chapter Text
SHIT...
happens. Oh, he fucking knows that. But, for it to happen three times in a row?
He’s been cursed.
He was so wasted last night (whose idea was it to have a drinking party on working day? Damn right, it's him) forgot to charge his phone and that stupid thing decided to just die and left him alarm-less.
Woke up with a start, a freaking headache, and 15 minutes late for an important client meeting -Shit #1-
Took aspirin as breakfast, and simultaneously called Uber while brushing teeth, only to get cancelled 20 minutes later ‘cause the car “got a flat tire” like... WTF!?? -Shit #2-
Subway. NYC. Morning rush hour -Shit #3-
And there he is now. Standing pressed inside the small box with his 6’5” frame, with his mind as the only movable body parts he can use. Thinking about what could be worse than this, when someone suddenly says “oh, what now? It’s pouring?”
He stops counting the shits.
Maybe should just cancel the meeting (1 hour late now) and go sit in the park and feed the goose. That one goose couple he loves had babies not long ago and their little bums going waddle waddle in the water always calm him down, and...
[phone rings]
His assistant. SHIT.
“Yes, yes... Evelyn. I’m on my way. In the train now, might be a liiiiitle late...”
“Uh huh. 1 hour is not a liiiiitle, Armie. Mr. Boucher is pissed. He’s been cursing in French for 15 minutes straight now, and although he sounds sexy, I don’t think that’s what he’s talking about”.
“Tell him to wait. Give him something to drink, Eve...”
“It’s 10 fuckin a.m! Who wants to drink this early... unless it’s you, of course”
“Don’t. Start...”
“You bring it, right?”
“Bring what?”
“Jesus Christ, please just kill me...”
“WHAT!??”
“The sample, Armie! The mock up that you should present today. The only important shit that should be here even more than you right now”
[..........]
The goose seems more the better option right now. Maybe he would buy some bread and go straight to the park...
“ARMAND HAMMER!!”
“I left it somewhere. On the Uber last night probably...”
“Oh. My. God.”
“Can you deal with Mr. Boucher now, my super girl... my hero... Just tell him my cat died or anything”
“I hate you so much right now...”
“I know, I know... But, I don’t think he would love waiting for another 30 minutes...”
“I’m on it. You owe me so much after this, Armie.”
“I’ll treat you to Le Bernardin next time...”
“You’ve been a mess lately, you know that right?”
“Yeah... not the best time for a counselling, mam. Still on the train...”
“Whatever”
“Ok, bye...”
“WAIT! Because it seems like you forgot everything today, best to remind you to check your calendar. More important thing, and it’s not work, Sir. Good luck, byee”
The fuck!??
[Check today’s event]
OH SHIT.