Chapter Text
le.oreo: okay but maybe its not about the people you meet but the connections you make
Leorio’s days usually start like this: wake up at the ungodly hour pf six in the morning, he showers and eats and then trips over himself trying to get to work on time. Work is always the same, the intern who sits at the front desk is always blowing bubbles with her gum as he arrives and his patients are as friendly as ever (some are a little stingy and rude, but no one’s focusing on that right now), his office is an organized mess as always. And his lunch break would be the same as always, down the street, make a right, bother Kurapika and order the most caffeinated beverage on the menu with extra shots of espresso.
Today, Leorio’s lunch break is the same and different.
Kurapika’s already there, like he has been since he was fired a week and a half ago (Kurapika “claims” he’s been suspended for a short while. Leorio calls it bullshit. Kurapicka’s been fired and he just needs to man up and say it!).
Kurapika’s standing behind the counter and Leorio swoops in past the non-existent line, the rush hour is a good forty-five minutes from now and the shop is empty save for a few customers scattered here and there.
Kurapika doesn’t even look up from his book. “Kurapika! My dear—”
“Say what I think you are about to say and you will regret it,” Kurapika says as he hands Leorio his usual.
(His usual! Ha! Leorio could just laugh at that! Kurapika claims he’s only working here to help his friend and just until his suspension is over. If that doesn’t say fired then Leorio doesn’t know what does).
Ah, the beauty of hazelnut coffee with enough shots of espresso to kill a man, the miracle of coffee and keeping people awake. It was truly god’s gift to mankind. A truly lovely gift.
Leorio joins him behind the counter, sipping his coffee and leaning over Kurapika’s shoulder.
“Would you quit that,” Kurapika complains, fed up with Leorio breathing down his neck as he scrolls through his phone. “Can’t you just use that somewhere else? Hey—what are you even doing? You haven’t paid that much attention to anything since you decided gambling would be such a great way to pay for med school.”
“I’m on Tinder,” Leorio says before realizing his mistake. Because Kurapika has shut his book with a loud thud and is now glaring at him with that I-will-fucking-murder-you-in-a-way-that-not-even-professionals-could-identify-and-then-send-you-someplace-that-makes-Hell-seem-like-paradise-so-choose-you're-next-words-wisely face.
“Are you forgetting that you’re already dating someone? Or am I just missing something.”
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
Leorio waves his arms, while trying not to spill his coffee, “Kurapika!” He downs the last gulp of coffee in his cup (because if he’s going to die today then he would at least like to finish his damn coffee, thank you very much). “I promise it’s not like that! I just made this for a friend, well he’s not really a friend, but a brat, actually a little shithead is a better term for him but he really just needs to get laid and I made it for him and please don’t kill me,” Leorio squeaks.
He scrambles to pick up his phone from where it had fallen and goddamn it, his hot sweaty fingers are making it way too damn hard to unlock his phone.
Leorio pulls up Tinder and shoves the phone into Kurapika’s hands. “See that’s the profile I made for him! You should help me look for assholes to set him up with.”
Kurapika shakes his head, golden blond hair brushing against the black apron of his uniform. Leorio watches him as he leans his hips against the counter and watches with judging eyes as he miserably explains the situation.
“You really should help. It's sorta hard trying to pick just the right brand of asshole for him. The brat is an asshole too so I need to find someone even asshole-ier than him. It’s going pretty well so far, you can’t believe how many jerks have sent me a dick pick—”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Wrong choice of words.
Leorio is so dead.
What had he done to deserve this. Was it the Baccano scandal from—crap he can’t even remember when that was—he does (two years, three months, eight days)—or maybe it was the time when—
Leorio laughs, high pitched and squeaky as the sound of his impending doom becomes louder and louder as he further tries to explain. “The dick pick was for him—not me, y’know there are a lot of stupid idiots on Tinder looking for an easy lay and and”
Kurapika uncrosses his arms with a long sigh and his eyes soften around the edges as he scrolls through the phone. Just like that Leorio knows that he will be granted the honor of living another day.
Kurapika’s rings glint as he scrolls through the phone. “So who’s the potential candidates? And what’s his type?”
Leorio grins as he takes his phone out of Kurapika’s hands and scrolls through the app, with Kurapika leaning against him, Leorio’s suit jacket wrinkles a little bit as Kurapika rests his hand against his arm.
“Okay, so, so far we’ve got this asshole who goes by the name of Seventeen,” Leorio angles his phone so Kurapika could see the profile picture of a man with shoulder length black hair and sky blue eyes, “he’s a park ranger or something, but I don’t think he’s the one. Yeah, he’s got a pretty asshole-y vibe, but at the same time not really. There’s also the few dicks who sent dick pics that could be potential candidates but…”
Kurapika’s brow twitches at the mention of the pictures and Leorio dies a little bit on the inside, mind you, he doesn’t lose his composure, he just feels like he’s threading on thin ice with his boyfriend right now even when he’s innocent in all of this.
“We should probably just scroll through and look for someone we want,” Leorio suggests. God, Leorio is starting to make Tinder sound like a place to buy boyfriends instead of an actual dating site. “It’s not like we need to look for someone with an actual personality, the less of that the better. We just need someone hot like that guy who plays the Fox Sin of Greed or like that football player Knuckle Bine, I think was his name. If we can just get someone hot and an asshole then we’d be all set, simple and easy!.”
A smug grin makes his way onto Leorio’s face at the thought of setting his friend up with an extremely hot jerk that would make him regret ever messing with Leorio. That’ll show that little prick for sure!
(Hopefully)
The brat will be coming in on Sunday night for a job interview on Tuesday, Leorio recalls from his earlier conversation with him over the phone. He should set the date on Monday night, spring it onto him at the last minute possible and hopes the date goes well. Well, as in terrible, horrible, a disaster of disasters.
Kurapika nudges his side, pulling Leorio out of his thoughts, “Look at this,” he says.
“Holy crap,” Leorio’s eyes pop out of their sockets as Kurapika moves his hovering finger away from the phone’s screen. Staring up at him is an all too familiar face, with amber eyes and green-tipped hair. “Is that…”
“Yup,” Kurapika affirms. “It’s Gon.”