Chapter Text
Joohyun had never been the person to truly appreciate or even notice the little things in life.
Whenever someone advised her to find happiness in the smallest details, the everyday aspects of life, she would find herself unable to do so. As much as she tried, there was no happiness. No sense of reality. Her mind was constantly floating.
There was no skip of a heartbeat, nor butterflies or excitement. Just a stone at the bottom of her stomach, crushing any signs of life.
There had been rare occasions when she had felt some appreciation for life as it was. Her friends.
Sometimes, the sight of her two best friends had given her a feeling of security. That there were in fact two people who she felt safe with. Some kind of evidence that maybe, just maybe, not all hope was lost, and that she was not the spiritless person she thought herself to be.
Joohyun would never tell them though. Not only because she was probably the most unskilled person on the surface of earth in terms of expressing herself with words. But also, because she was afraid.
Afraid that once those words left her mouth, life would turn against her and prove her wrong. Convince her that perhaps it was all just a lie she had made up, and that in fact she would never be able to feel something. That the emotions she might have felt were just illusions, desperate wishes for something impossible.
Captured in desolation until the last grain of sand in the hourglass of her life would fall, and she would leave this world without ever having felt any genuine happiness, or just anything.
Because it seemed like as the seconds ticked by, Joohyun became more unresponsive. She was made of wet cement, slowly hardening. And she was afraid that if the cement broke, there would be nothing underneath it. Nothing left to save.
So, she would rather smile than fully express herself.
Smile at how Sooyoung teased Seungwan as the latter slapped the girl on her arm, obviously not amused at whatever the taller girl had come up with to tease her. As she did almost every single day.
“Joohyun, are you sure you want to share a room with a devil like this? Because I wouldn’t’’, Seungwan shivered at the thought.
Joohyun chuckled.
“I mean, since you are not coming with us I have no other choice, so…”
“Okay, now I’m offended. You guys are hurting my feelings”, Sooyoung frowned, dramatically putting a hand on her chest.
“Didn’t know you had those”, Seungwan smirked.
“That makes two of us”, Sooyoung shrugged.
“Three”, Joohyun says, lifting her hand.
Seungwan’s smirk turned into a gentle smile. She observed the two standing in front of her, as if she was trying to capture every detail, memorize every feature, for this would be their last goodbye.
“I’m really going to miss you guys… even with all the annoyance of the past 15 years…”, Seungwan shot a glance at Sooyoung.
“You’re welcome”, Sooyoung said, bowing in oh-so-much-gratitude.
“We are going to the same university. Besides, the dormitory is only 30 minutes away. We can easily meet up’’, Joohyun said, attempting to lift up the mood.
“I know, I know… it’s just…”, Seungwan bit her lip, her eyes shifting from the left to the right. “We have been neighbours for 15 years. We always walked together to school…’’
“Made some crazy memories’’, Sooyoung smiled at the thought.
Seungwan nodded, softly chuckling before continuing with a sigh.
“But now… it’s not going to be like that anymore… I’ll really miss it…”, she takes a step forward and pulls the two into an embrace. “You guys are growing up so fast, already moving out and stuff”
“Wan… I’m older than you…”, Joohyun couldn’t help but state, before quietly smiling.
“And I’m taller, so that makes me older in a way”, Sooyoung argued, earning a slap from Seungwan on the back of her head.
“Shut up”
“Ah, this is how I always imagined our goodbyes to be. How romantic!”
“Park Sooyoung...”
“Is that a tear I see?”
“Shush.”
“Awh, I didn’t know you loved us so much!”
“Not sure about you.”
“…….…… I know you know you love meeee.”
“I hate you so much right now.”
“There is a thin line between love and hate.”
“She’s got a point.’’
“Joohyun. Please. Not you too…”
***
She quietly observed the building where they would be spending their days attempting to survive college life. A place she would pass by several years into the future, reflecting on her youth, floods of memories washing into the abandoned corners of her mind.
The uncertainty of what would play in her heart as she looked back to the past days of her student persona was enough for her surroundings to turn black and white, getting smaller until the last bit of light abandoned her, leaving her behind to be the victim of obscurity.
However, it seemed like her best friend would not let her fall that easily as she startled Joohyun by giving her a few slaps on her arm.
“Are you trying to give me bruises or something?”, Joohyun said as she caressed her tortured skin.
Sooyoung’s smile grew as she clapped excitedly.
“Hyunnie, can you believe that this is will be it?”, the taller girl clasped her hands together. “We are finally going to have a taste of college life and independence. Oh, we are going to meet lots of new people, go to fun college parties, make some crazy memories! I really can’t wait!”
A grimace appeared on Joohyun’s face upon hearing the words ‘new people’ and ‘college parties’.
“Yea, you lost me at ‘lots of new people’. I’ll be fine with just spending my days quietly at our dorm.”
Sooyoung raised one of her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips.
“Oh, come on Hyun… try to be a bit more excited! Do you really want to waste your days away like that?”
Joohyun bit her lip at the thought. She had often contemplated about the way she had been spending her life.
And the more she pondered, the more uneasy she felt.
However, whenever images of parties appeared in her brain, sweaty bodies, people whose rudeness increased under the consumption of alcohol, deafening music and blaring voices which made ears bleed and throats hurt, she felt her energy being drained and not one tiniest fraction of excitement.
But who was she kidding anyways? She hadn’t felt excited for a very long time, and it seemed like it would never happen again.
So why would she even try to change her way of living?
“I just… don’t feel like it. It’s not my kind of thing Sooyoung… you know that…”, she said, her voice smaller.
She turned her gaze away from the taller girl as the latter’s eyes displayed a hint of worry.
“Joohyun, please just listen to me for a second”, Sooyoung gently grabbed the older girl’s shoulders and slightly squeezed them, asking for her attention.
Joohyun rubbed the back of her neck and sighed.
“Fine…”, her eyes met her friend’s.
“Do you really want to continue living like this? Missing all of these opportunities that, who knows, might actually help you out?”
“It’s just… I don’t think they will help… the idea of doing all of that already sucks up my energy.”
“How do you know it won’t help if you don’t try it?”
“Because I feel like I’m a hopeless cause.”
Sooyoung frowned at her answer and Joohyun felt herself getting smaller.
“Hyun… yo-”
“Can we… stop talking about this?”, she asked, hoping the taller girl would notice the pleading look in her eyes.
Fortunately, she did.
“If you really want to then okay.”
“Thank you”, Joohyun said, letting out a breath of relief.
Sooyoung wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her gently.
“Just want to say that you are not a hopeless cause. I’m not giving up on you, even if you are the most stubborn woman on this planet. Which you are by the way.”
Before Joohyun could answer, the taller girl distanced herself and gave her a slap on her arm, causing the older girl to let out a pained sound.
“Now let’s go! I can’t wait to check out our rooms!”, Sooyoung squealed. She grabbed her luggage and ran away to the front door of the building.
Joohyun let out a small chuckle at the sight of her best friend behaving like a kid in the middle of a candy store, before quietly dragging herself and her luggage to the entrance.
***
“This. Is. The. Most. Comfortable. Bed. In. My. Life!”, Sooyoung said, letting out a satisfied sigh after jumping on her bed.
Joohyun tried her best to suppress a smile and threw one of the taller girl’s bags on top of her bed, attempting to catch her attention.
“Yah, Park Sooyoung! We just arrived here, and you’re already making a mess? Unbelievable…”
Her best friend, however, didn’t bother to react, and instead moved her arms and legs back and forth as if she was trying to make a snow angel on her bed.
Joohyun rolled her eyes and dragged her own luggage next to her own bed where she sat down on in order to take a better look at their bedroom.
The room was a bit small and yet somewhat cosy. Their beds were separated by two little nightstands in the middle. There was also one closet which they would have to share, though Joohyun was almost entirely sure Sooyoung would just dump her clothes on a chair instead of putting them in their supposed place.
The taller girl suddenly sat up straight on her bed and grabbed one of Joohyun’s wrists, disrupting her thoughts.
“Come on, let’s go”, she said as jumped off her bed.
Joohyun frowned and tried to free her wrist, which resulted in a few unsuccessful attempts as Sooyoung had an iron grip.
“What do you mean by that?”, she asked, her sceptical tone giving away her doubts.
“Why do you always look at me like I’m going to lead you straight to hell?”
“Because you usually do.”
“That’s not tr-”
“Remember when you wanted to go to the middle of an empty field just to find out if it was true that lightning struck people? Or when you ‘lent’ your parents’ car for a supposed ‘few minutes’ while having no driving license, only to crash against Seungwan’s parents’ car after three seconds of driving? Or when you wanted to skip class a few times to go to who-knows-where and, luckily, I was there to save you from being expelled for like one month? Or wh-”
“Okay! Okay… point taken… but that was a few years ago, I’ve become a different person now!”, Sooyoung protested.
“…sure…”, Joohyun replied, not sounding very convinced.
“I just want to take a look around the building. There is nothing wrong with that, right?”, Sooyoung waved her hands dramatically to emphasize her point. “Just to get familiar with our surroundings.”
The older girl bit her cheek, clearly not appreciating the idea.
“I don’t know… I’m pretty tired and I don’t really feel like walking around.”
“What if a fire breaks out and you die in vain because you didn’t know where to go, and your last thoughts would be: ‘oh, if I had only listened to my most beautiful, perfect and smartest best friend, Miss Park Sooyoung.’ Now, wouldn’t that be a bummer?’’
The older girl gave her a slap on her arm, letting out a chuckle.
“Fine, I’ll go with you. As long as we keep it nice and short.”
“Deal”, Sooyoung said, her famous grin growing on her face, as she pulled Joohyun by her wrist and led her out of their room into the people-filled hallway.
While the crowd made the taller girl feel excited, Joohyun couldn’t help but wish she was back in the quietness of her room. She lowered her gaze to the floor, only looking up for a few seconds here and there in order to remember enough details to find her way back.
The strong smell of coffee entered her nostrils and Joohyun felt herself grimacing at the smell. She looked up and observed the somewhat quiet coffeeshop.
Though she did appreciate the more peaceful atmosphere, her hatred for the liquid was far stronger.
“Out of all the places, you take me to a coffeeshop?”
“I need an energy boost. And besides”, Sooyoung pointed at the menu on the wall. “They also have hot chocolate. And we all know of your love for a cup of hot chocolate. Now come on. It’s my treat.”
Joohyun scoffed as she had no arguments left to throw out, earning a smirk from her best friend.
They joined the short line of people and soon it was their turn to order.
“Hi, what can I get for you?”, the barista behind the counter asked.
“One hot chocolate and…”, Sooyoung tapped her chin in thought. “And one Gingerbread Frappuccino please.”
“Would that be all?”
“Yep!”
Sooyoung handed him some money and told him to keep the change. Just as they were about to walk away from the line to a table nearby, a sudden voice halts their movements.
“Wow, you must really love the taste of sugar huh?”
They both turned their heads, and Joohyun stole a quick glance at Sooyoung, whose confused frown got replaced by an amused smirk. She then observed the owner of the voice; a short-haired girl with big brown eyes and a playful smile on her face.
“In fact, I do. I’m impressed you guessed so.”
“It’s not hard to guess when you just ordered the definition of diabetes.”
Sooyoung let out a laugh.
“If it tastes good, I’m fine with it’’, she said as her gaze travelled over the girl. Joohyun almost looked away in embarrassment at her friend’s obvious flirty behaviour. “So, how about you? What do you prefer?”
The girl’s smile grew as her fingers gently tapped the counter.
“I prefer something… stronger”, she said, also letting her gaze travel over the taller girl before turning her head to the guy who patiently waited for her order. “Could I have a double espresso please?”
Sooyoung whistled. “Well, you weren’t lying when you said you liked something stronger.”
“I never lie”, the girl smirked. “It’s both a curse and a gift.”
“Good thing I’m a fan of honesty myself”, Sooyoung took a step closer, however she still kept a reasonable distance between them. “So, could I ask you for your name?”
“Yerim. Kim Yerim… how about yours?”
Sooyoung extended her hand towards the shorter girl, which the latter seemed to gladly take.
“Park Sooyoung, nice to meet you”, she said, before slightly bowing.
Joohyun bit her lip as she observed the very cringey scenario unfolding in front of her, noticing how the poor guy’s voice became smaller after being ignored for a second time. She coughed in order to get their attention, before pointing at the barista.
“Uhm… would that be all?”, he said, slightly blushing.
“Oh sorry. Got a little bit distracted”, Yerim said, stealing a quick glance at the black-haired girl. She then turned to the right, her eyes evidently searching for someone.
“Seulgi, have you already decided on what you wanted? We are all growing old here!”
Joohyun followed Yerim’s gaze which led her to a girl who was squatting in front of the display case consisting of various types of cakes; or more specifically the view of the girl’s back.
The latter slowly stood up and straightened her back, one of her hands on her hip, before suddenly turning around and making her way towards the short-haired girl, with a smile on her face and her monolid eyes shaped in crescent moons.
Joohyun was not the type of person to stare at someone. She was too shy for it, and honestly, nothing really managed to capture her attention anyways. Not since years ago, when things still made her excited and curious.
Until today, that is.
“I’ll settle on hot chocolate!”
“Wow, you finally made a choice”, Yerim chuckled before finishing their order and paying. The monolid girl gave the shorter girl a back hug, thanking her for the treat.
Yerim shrugged it off, telling her it was not a big deal, before returning her gaze to Sooyoung and Joohyun. Specially the taller girl.
“This is Seulgi, my roommate.”
Joohyun gulped as she made eye contact with the monolid girl, and it took all of her strength to not avert her gaze somewhere else.
“Hi, I’m Kang Seulgi. Nice to meet you!”, she smiled before bowing.
“Uhm, Bae Joohyun”, she answered, her voice small, while returning the gesture.
“And I’m Sooyoung. The lover of all that is sweet”, the taller girl smirked, making sure she took a quick glance at Yerim when pronouncing the word ‘sweet’.
Joohyun rolled her eyes at the cheesiness, feeling herself drown in second-hand embarrassment.
“Want to join us? There is a table there with four seats”, Sooyoung suggested.
“Sounds perfect”, Yerim said. “What do you think Seul?”
“I’m fine with anything!”, Seulgi said, her smile reaching her eyes, as if they held the brightest of lights.
Joohyun would lie if she said she wasn’t the least bit affected by the sight of it. She wondered how it had been when her own eyes had displayed the same amount of warmth and excitement. It felt almost surreal to look at someone who seemed to be the opposite of her.
And as time went by and the four talked, or rather the three of them while Joohyun participated here and there by sharing a few words, the contrast between them became clearer.
Seulgi had a gentleness to her that the older girl couldn’t help but be drawn to. Even though, like Joohyun, she seemed to be more of the introverted type, she still displayed this warm and approachable vibe.
It almost made the older girl instantly trust her, which was something nearly impossible to achieve. Seungwan and Sooyoung had been rare exceptions, and even then, it had taken a few years for her to trust them. Joohyun still couldn’t help but feel uneasy at sharing too much details about herself.
So why was it any different now? What was it about the girl, who she barely knew, that made her feel something so unfamiliar to her? Who seemed to turn the impossible into the attainable?
Joohyun lifted her cup of hot chocolate to keep herself busy, only to find out that it was already empty.
The disappointment must have been evident on her face as Seulgi suddenly pushed her own cup towards her with a gentle smile on her face.
“Here, I still have some left if you want”, she said as her eyes formed themselves into crescent moons, a sight that made Joohyun’s heart flutter.
“Uhm, it’s okay… you should drink it. It’s yours…”, she answered, barely able to make any decent eye contact with the girl.
“I don’t mind sharing!”
Usually Joohyun would’ve stubbornly insisted that she didn’t want it until the other person would give up.
However, something about Seulgi seemed to have made her unable to say no. Maybe it was the genuine look in her eyes or her smile. Maybe it was her gentle voice. Or the warmth she radiated. Or perhaps the fact that she might be the cause for Joohyun’s rapidly beating heart.
She didn’t exactly know.
So, she accepted the drink and shyly thanked her.
Seulgi gave her one last look, one last smile, before redirecting her gaze to the other two girls.
Joohyun observed how she placed her chin in her right hand and laid her left on the table. How her long dark brown locks cascaded over her back, and her bangs covered a bit of her sharp eyes. Her eyes travelled from the beautifully sculptured side profile to her shoulders and down, noting her lean build, the slenderness of her body.
There was a charm to her that Joohyun couldn’t put into words.
She found herself being captivated by the sight.
And having no idea what the conversation had been about.
***
Sooyoung had always been one of those people with a tremendous amount of luck. It seemed like she was the universe’s favourite, being granted almost anything she wished for. So Joohyun shouldn’t have been surprised when they stepped into the elevator occupied by Seulgi and Yerim, after spending an interminable night of having to listen to Sooyoung’s constant talking about her new crush and her regrets for not having asked her number or about the location of her room.
Yet, she hadn’t expected to cross paths ever again with the monolid girl, let alone immediately the day after.
And for once, she wondered whether the universe had finally decided to give her a small taste of good fortune.
***
They found out that their room was on the floor just above them, and at the end of the hallway. Sooyoung had also managed to get Yerim’s number and Joohyun already knew that from that day on her best friend would be glued to her phone, probably ignoring anyone else’s existence.
She secretly pondered on ways to ask Seulgi for her number, though she knew fully well she would never dare to do so.
As the four of them walked together to the main building, Joohyun’s self-conscious grew the more she focused her attention on the girl next to her.
She grabbed her books tightly and tried to keep her gaze firmly on the floor, however she couldn’t help but steal a glance here and there.
Seulgi was smiling at Sooyoung and Yerim’s playful and flirty interactions, her hands in the pockets of her jeans and the strap of her bag over her shoulder. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, and yet Joohyun was certain she had never seen anyone more beautiful.
She forced herself to focus away from the monolid girl, feeling her heartbeat increase the longer she stared.
“They seem to like each other a lot, don’t they?”, Seulgi suddenly said, starling the older girl.
As their eyes met, Joohyun felt herself slightly blushing. She quickly turned her head away from the girl’s gaze.
“They do…”, she quietly replied.
“Guess that’s the power of coffee”, Seulgi chuckled, a sound Joohyun had found herself to appreciate hearing.
“Their cheesy behaviour is worse than coffee to be honest, and that says a lot”, she replied, her gaze slowly travelling from the floor and higher, coming to a halt on the taller girl, whose smile grew as she nodded.
“I would take hot chocolate over coffee any day.”
Joohyun felt the corners of her lips curl upwards.
“Me too.”
“Especially in the winter during a snowy day, wrapped in a blanket while watching a movie”, Seulgi said as her eyes sparkled at the idea, like specks of sunlight.
Joohyun felt herself being enchanted by them.
“That does sound nice…”, she said, her mind slowly drifting off to the thought of winter. However, instead of any excitement, all she could feel was hollowness inside of her.
“The winter is nice. Everybody thinks of it solely as a cold season, but I think the vibe that comes with is warm. Cities and skies are covered in lights because of the holidays and like I said, it’s perfect for hot chocolate and movies. Oh, and the sight of the park under a blanket of white snow? It’s beautiful…”
“I have never been to the park in the winter…”, Joohyun said, a moment of realization hitting as her as she thought about the many things she had missed out in life.
Seulgi’s eyes grew in astonishment and the thought of pinching her cheeks briefly crossed the older girl’s mind.
“You’ve really never been there during the winter?”, she asked.
Joohyun shook her head.
“You have given me a mission then!”, Seulgi said, nodding as if she had taken a huge amount of responsibility.
Joohyun raised her eyebrows, a small smile forming on the corner of her lips.
“Which is?”
Seulgi’s smile grew and the older girl subtly bit her cheek, trying to cool down the wave of heat that was hitting her.
“I’m going to take you to the park this winter when the snow falls.”
***
“She followed me back on Instagram!”
“Look at these pictures!”
“Isn’t she cute?”
“Isn’t her smile the most beautiful?”
“Oh, she can play the guitar!”
“She sings as well? Oh my god.”
“Isn’t she perfect?”
“Joohyun, isn’t sh-”
The older girl pushed away the phone that was being held against her face.
“Sooyoung, I’m trying to focus on school… shouldn’t you as well?”
“What is school when Kim Yerim exists?”
“You are horribly cringey.”
“It’s her doing. She has charmed me, Hyunnie!”
Joohyun rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a chuckle. She took a look on the screen of her own phone and unlocked it after seeing a notification.
“Well, looks like she followed me as well.”
“That is perfect! Now you can appreciate her as much as I do! Or well, not as much. Definitely not as much. But you get the drill’’, Sooyoung said, as she jumped back on her bed with a huge smile on her face.
Joohyun followed the short-haired girl back and scrolled through the latter’s profile, before returning to her notifications, her smile instantly disappearing as her gaze landed on four words that made her heart nearly jump out of her chest.
kangseulgii started following you.
Her fingers slightly trembled as she followed her back and scrolled through the girl’s profile, carefully observing her posts.
Pictures of landscapes, people and drawings. Despite of the beautifully taken photographs, Joohyun couldn’t help but be drawn to Seulgi’s pictures of herself, taken with vintage filters she seemed to favour.
Sharp features, mesmerizing eyes and her enchanting, gentle smile; soft and warm.
Her favourite.
That afternoon, school was forgotten.
***
“I’m going on a date with Yerim. See you later!”
Those had been Sooyoung’s last words, before she disappeared for the rest of the day, only returning at their room around 12am.
It had been almost two months since they had met the two girls, and ever since, the four of them had spent time together before and after their classes.
Sooyoung and Yerim had grown a lot closer and more daring, and Joohyun could almost feel her ears bleed at how much her best friend talked about her crush.
It was cute, that she couldn’t really deny.
However, Joohyun wanted to focus on school, especially since the exams were around the corner.
Or to be more precisely in one month.
And it didn’t help that both Sooyoung as well as a certain Kang Seulgi had been distracting her continuously.
Specially the latter.
They had grown a bit closer and more comfortable as well.
Joohyun had told her a bit about her memories with Sooyoung and Seungwan from their childhood until now, and Seulgi had listened to her carefully, focusing solely on her and free of any judgments.
She felt herself opening up bit by bit to her, the fear within her slowly fading.
Her interest for Seulgi had grown stronger, and sometimes she would wonder what was behind those smiling eyes and cheerful yet calm attitude.
Joohyun had found out about the girl’s passion for drawing and dancing, as well as her knowledge of movies and her hobby of doing things by herself, such as discovering the city on her own.
She also enjoyed looking through the pictures and video’s the girl would sometimes post on her Instagram story, often pictures of things Joohyun had never thought someone could be excited about.
And she could feel her heart appreciate them a bit more as well.
***
Joohyun dragged herself to their room at 6pm, after having finally finished her last test. She was more than ready to enjoy a much-needed winter break and looked forward to taking a shower and indulging herself in the blankets of her bed.
But it seemed like Sooyoung and Yerim had some other plans as Joohyun found them in their room kissing like every second ticking would be their last.
The older girl instantly turned around, her back facing the pair, feeling her blood rush to her head because of the sight she had just seen.
She coughed, attempting to get their attention, and after hearing Sooyoung’s awkward ‘hello’, she felt safe enough spin on her heels and put her hands on her hips, hoping to convey her message loud and clear.
“You guys could’ve warned me that you would be all up in each other’s faces before I got here, you know?”
“Ah, sorry for that …”, Yerim apologized, her fingers awkwardly tapping Sooyoung’s arm, though it was obvious she was trying to suppress an eruption of laughter.
“Speaking of which, I wanted to ask you whether you can switch rooms with her for tonight”, Sooyoung casually asked.
Joohyun’s eyes widened in response, earning a smirk from her best friend.
“W-what? Switch rooms?”
“Yea… like Yerim will stay here, and you will stay with Seulgi. I swear it’s just for tonight!”
The oldest girl crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows upon hearing Sooyoung’s not-so-convincing promise.
“And why do I have to be the one to get out?”
“To be honest we were kind of both lazy and… in a rush… and this room was the closest to the entrance of the building, so yea…”, Yerim said.
“Besides, even if I would be the one to switch rooms, in the end you would still stay with Seulgi anyways, so I figured it wouldn’t really matter”, Sooyoung reasoned.
“Have you told Seulgi about this?”, Joohyun tapped her foot impatiently.
“No, but don’t worry, she is okay with almost anything”, Yerim stated very matter-of-factly.
Joohyun’s gaze switched back and forth between the two girls sitting on the bed in front of her, trying to recollect her thoughts.
It was not like she had lost her stubbornness and her ability to counterargue everything Sooyoung suggested, as she usually did.
However, the idea of switching rooms for the night and spending more time with Seulgi was not something she opposed, specially since she had locked herself up in her room to study for the exams.
Though she did feel a bit nervous just thinking about it.
So eventually, she just sighed and agreed, rubbing her forehead in order to ease the headache her best friend was often responsible for.
“Fine…but”, she pointed with her two fingers at the duo. “Just for tonight.”
Sooyoung put a hand over her heart.
“I swear on my honour.”
“You don’t have any honour.”
“I’ve got to agree with her on this.”
“… Yerimmie… you are supposed to be supportive.”
“Sorry, but I cannot live a life built on lies.”
“Ouch.”
***
After having finished gathering her pyjamas, toothbrush, toothpaste, shower items and clothes for the next day, Joohyun found herself being nearly thrown out of the room.
“Alright, finished everything?”
“I thin-”
“Great!”, Sooyoung interrupted her while giving her a few pushes towards the hallway. “Text me when you’ve arrived sound and safe at their room alright? Bye bye!”
“Sooy-”, Joohyun said, wanting to protest against the younger girl’s behaviour, but getting the door slammed in her face instead.
She rubbed her forehead and took a deep breath.
“She’s really going to be the death of me…”, she whispered while adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder.
Slowly walking to the elevator, all sorts of thoughts rushed through her mind, possible anxieties about probably unrealistic bad events that could take place that night.
Her heart slammed in her throat as she pressed the button to go up, and it skipped a beat as the elevator came to a halt.
It took her a few minutes to arrive at her destination, as she purposely prevented herself from fastening her pace, pondering on whether she had made the right decision.
Yerim had been so confident in Seulgi’s easy-going attitude, however Joohyun couldn’t help but think of the possibility of disappointment in the monolid girl’s eyes, or perhaps disapproval at her presence.
What-ifs filled her brain, nearly cracking her skull open, a volcano bound to erupt.
She took another deep breath as her eyes travelled over the light brown door. Her arm trembled as she lifted it to knock on the door, briefly hesitating, before doing the deed.
Seconds felt like years, and she wondered whether Seulgi was home or her knocking hadn’t been loud enough for the latter to hear.
As she was gathering strength to knock once again, the door was suddenly unlocked and pulled open, the girl appearing behind it with her dark brown hair tied up in a messy bun and strands of her bangs loose on her forehead.
“Hey, did you forget your ke-…… Joohyun?”, Seulgi’s eyes widened upon seeing the older girl, obviously not expecting her.
“Uhm… hi…”, she awkwardly waved.
They had met each other three months ago and Joohyun had been almost sure she felt comfortable being with the younger girl.
So why was she so distressed about this? They were friends, right? There was nothing wrong with a friend casually dropping by to hang out or spend the night.
Unless Seulgi didn’t feel that way of course.
Joohyun bit her lip as she looked into the girl’s eyes filled with confusion.
“Did something happen to Yerim?”, Seulgi asked, confusion getting replaced with worry, a sight which pained the older girl.
She quickly shook her head.
“No, no, don’t worry…uhm… she’s fine… she’s… with Sooyoung… in our room…, which is the reason why I am standing here…”, Joohyun’s voice became smaller, and she had to gather strength in order to not look away.
Seulgi tilted her head, evidently puzzled.
And Joohyun found the sight very cute as well as equality distressing.
“They kind of asked me whether I could… uhm… switch rooms… with Yerim…”
The confusion in the younger girl’s eyes immediately vanished and she looked at Joohyun with an unreadable expression.
“It’s just for tonight!”, Joohyun quickly added, her restless growing at the lack of ability to decode Seulgi’s thoughts. “And then I’ll be gone. Unless, you don’t want me to be here… I could always just… kick Yerim out of my room… it’s really no problem at all!”
She tightened her fingers around the strap of her bag, trying to distract herself from the younger girl’s gaze, even though she couldn’t help but look anyways.
Seulgi’s eyes suddenly widened as if she finally understood everything Joohyun had told her, and a smile appeared on her face.
“Oh! Now I understand!”, her eyes formed themselves into crescent moons and the older girl felt her knees getting slightly weak at the sight. “Of course, it’s no problem at all!”
Joohyun let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in.
“Yea… they kind of wanted… alone time… if that’s how you want to put it…”, she rubbed her neck, feeling her cheeks burn as glimpses of the incident she happened to stumble upon creeped into her mind.
“Well, I was actually planning to watch a movie and drink hot chocolate while being wrapped in a blanket”, Seulgi pointed with the thumb towards the window behind her. “Since it’s cold and raining and we are finally on a winter break. Want to join me?”
Joohyun smiled, wanting nothing less than to spend time with Seulgi, the idea sounding perfect to her ears.
“Sounds like a nice idea…”
“Great!”, Seulgi’s smile grew, warmer and brighter than a fireplace in a dark and cold room.
“Come on in then”, she said leaning forward to gently grab one of the older girl’s wrists and gently leading her inside.
And Joohyun followed, feeling her skin nearly melt under her touch.
She wouldn’t have preferred it any other way.