Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

He couldn't stand it. It was as if his own body was trying to kill him, hands trembling, chest aching and his heart feeling as if it was about to sink further down into his flesh. It was at times like this, when he found it the hardest to breathe, unable to stop himself from thinking.

Think, think, think, think. Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt.

He was his own enemy.

He wouldn't be able to tell when exactly did all of this start. It was as if at some point of his life he had started gradually realising just how lonely he really was. Was it the way he was brought up by his parents? Was it the everlasting sense of duty he carried inside of himself at all times, eventually stopping him from doing what would actually make him happy? Or was it something else causing it? He couldn't really tell. All that he knew was that when he noticed, it was too late already. All of that was deep-rooted into his soul, flesh and bones.

Maybe he should have gotten used to it by now, but that wasn't the case. There were just some days when — no matter what he had actually done, where had he been, what had he thought about — as soon as his head hit the pillow, those thoughts would just flood in. They would fill up all of the empty space and even make some more room for themselves by eating up and slaughtering the little good he had left in himself; they would start torturing him, making it hard to breathe or focus on anything else, and many times, physical pain would come along too.

It was this aching in his hands, as if they were literally dying to be held. The aching in his chest, exactly where his heart was, as if it was, too, waiting for someone to rip it out from between the lungs and dig fingers and nails into the muscle. The same aching in his toes, as if he only wanted to intertwine his legs with someone else's, and sometimes in his private parts as well. God damn it, he just wanted some attention... No, love. He wanted love. Actually, he needed it. Every day that went by without it felt so terribly much closer to a bad ending.

And Yoongi didn't want a bad ending.

He looked around his room, panting and panicking. Despite working on a daily basis in touch with the newest forms of AI (or maybe exactly because of it), he didn't enjoy having it around as much as his clients did: but in cases like this, he needed it. That's why he grabbed the remote sitting on the table in front of the couch he was laying on in fetal position and pressed a button that made the neon lights all around his suspended ceiling turn white for a few seconds, before gradually switching back off with delicacy. Then a voice spoke, cancelling the sound of his panting.

— Hello, Yoongi. May I help you?

The voice was feminine, soothing, soft-spoken. He programmed it to be that way himself, as it always reminded him of his mother and, in moments like this, it helped him to calm down. He didn't answer the question just yet, knowing that the AI — that he had named Taei — was about to add more. It already knew what was going on.

— I have noticed that your stress level has gone up, Yoongi. Your heart rate has increased and your body temperature is showing some anomalies. What can I do for you, Yoongi?

— Just the usual, Taei.

“The usual“ was absolutely embarrassing. He would never talk about it to anyone, but it was really the only way he could calm down, relax and feel a little bit more at ease... At least for a little while, because no solution was ever not temporary. Only death would have been eternal.

He laid down on the couch, facing the ceiling, trying to make himself comfortable, then he reached again to the table, where, next to the remote he had used earlier, was laying a small, white, round device. He picked it up between his two fingers and as he laid his head back down, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, placing it right on his temple. The device gently sucked on his skin and attached to it, adjusting itself after a second, so that Yoongi couldn't really feel it being there.

— Initiating simulation.

It wasn't exactly like falling asleep, even though the whole experience felt a little like a dream. After only a few seconds Yoongi started seeing images in front of his eyes, feeling things on his skin, smelling scents and hearing sounds that weren't really there; and that was his “the usual“, his little escape, just for a little while. He felt touch on his skin, going up his arms, lingering his neck and gently caressing his cheek. He smiled at it, all the bad feelings trapped inside of his body slowly disappearing into thin air. He saw a face — the face — that he wasn't able to describe in any other word, than that of warmth; then he heard the words and felt a blanket being pulled over him.

— Hi, baby. I've missed you.

Gentle, but not like Taei's voice. This one was manly and deep, yet sweet like honey at the same time: indescribable. Yoongi smiled slightly at the man he was seeing, the amazing wonder of technology that was making him see and feel things that were fake, but somehow good in their own way, too. He shifted closer to the imaginary hand petting his cheek.

— What is it, you're not feeling too well? — preoccupied, careful. His eyes were so pretty, even though Yoongi was merely just imagining them. — It's okay, don't worry. Let me take care of that.

He wouldn't want anyone to see him right at that moment, so pathetic and hopeless, seeing in front of him the man he would want to give himself to and being kissed inside of his own imagination, the only thing that could ever make him feel better — even though he had never kissed nor been kissed by anyone in real life, so he couldn't be sure if that was really what a kiss felt like, since he programmed all of that himself. But even so, that was enough. The exciting feeling inside his chest, the butterflies in his stomach, his body temperature slightly going up, yet his heartbeat calming down. Being touched and touching, being loved and loving: just what he had always wanted.

The sound of a sloppy kiss echoed inside his head, as he felt as if he was getting undressed, starting from his shirt, excitement running through his veins in a violent rush that made all of the little hairs on his body stand up. His heart sank a bit as he watched the man of his dreams reach down, feeling his warm, big hands on his stomach and going even lower, ever so slightly touching his crotch, just to grab his belt instead and start undoing it. After a few seconds of more sloppy kisses, of pressing his fingers in-between that imaginary hair, of gasping ever so slightly next to these non-existent lips, he felt his pants falling to his knees and the sudden need to wrap his thighs around the man's hips... but shortly after that everything went black, cold, silent. Taei's voice filled his ears again.

— Simulation completed.

He sighed softly, not moving from his position for a little while, nor opening his eyes. He bathed in those feelings still running through his body for a little longer, not ready to let go of the butterflies yet, wanting to hold on just what was enough to gain the strength to go through twenty-four more hours of his pathetic life. He hadn't programmed the part about sex yet: he always told himself that was because it was a little too complicated for his standards, but the truth was, he simply just... didn't know what that felt like. He had no idea what a simulation of that could ever be like because he had never experienced sex in his life, and even though he could try with a kiss, practising with his own hand or whatever, sex felt like a whole different thing. Complicated, deep. Too grand for him to grasp in the state that he actually was in, lonely and pathetic.

He let a few minutes pass before he finally moved, getting up to a sitting position on his couch and looking around with a sigh. There he was, in his living room, completely clothed, mildly turned on and absolutely pathetic. The amount of times he would do this per week was unbelievably ridiculous, but every time he did this, he was able to find the strength to just keep on going with his life again. Loneliness was so real. A real demon eating him up piece by piece, day by day.

— Taei, rest — he commanded with a cold voice, detaching the device from his temple and putting it back into its box. The lights on his ceiling sparkled bright white once again before completely turning off, just as he got up and walked into the kitchen. He didn't really like it Taei being there all the time. Even though his job was directly connected to technology, he didn't enjoy it himself, but that didn't matter, as long as his clients did.

Loneliness was there by his side since he could even remember. Maybe as a kid he wasn't really able to tell, but now, looking back at those times, he was certain of being lonely even at such a young age. He didn't think there was necessarily a reason for that. Heck, for a huge part of his life this had been his main struggle: blaming himself for his own loneliness, telling himself that there must had been something wrong with him, that maybe he wasn't good-looking enough, funny enough or smart enough, otherwise people would have liked him. But he was thirty-two now, and he didn't have that mentality any more — he thought that probably some people just weren't destined to live with other people, that they were better off on their own, or maybe that they just weren't really that compatible with anyone. And he was very likely to be one of those people, with his hard-to-grasp personality and deep enjoyment of alone time, mixed with the absolute need of it, from time to time.

But after all, he too was just human: and humans needed some other humans' interaction to survive, at least from time to time. He wasn't able to deny it any more. Being on his own all the time, when he wasn't working and not hearing even one familiar voice, was absolutely damaging. He could feel himself getting more and more rusty with each day, just like the technology he was working at all the time. Quiet and cold, just like the machines.

He walked to his latest-technology coffee maker, placing his mug on its destined place and choosing the icon of a macchiato. The displayer immediately showed him the amounts of caffeine, milk and calories, but he ignored all of that, and just chose the lowest amount of sugar, pressing then his back to one of the counters and just waiting for it to be ready, dumbly staring into the empty space with his arms crossed on his chest, feeling empty and numb. Actually, he had been having this recurring thought recently. And in the past couple of days, it had become even more intense, making its way between his regular, every-day-life worries. It was almost impossible to ignore it.

When the sound of the coffee being ready filled the air, he grabbed his mug and sat down to his table — it was big enough to fit at least ten people, but still, he found himself to be the only one sitting at it every day. Actually, his entire apartment, sited at the last floor of one of the highest and most expensive skyscrapers in the city, was big enough to fit at least three families, yet those walls had only known him for the last six years, no one else. Depressing, if he thought about it.

The smartphone hidden in his pocket was becoming heavier with every second going by, as that one intense thought really didn't want to leave him alone. He finally grabbed it, unlocking it with face recognition and lying to himself that that one thing wasn't really the reason he reached for it at all. But before he could even control himself, his fingers had already typed the right thing into the search bar and thousands of results had appeared in front of his eyes. He felt a weird rush of fear mixed with some kind of excitement: he knew exactly how deeply rooted inside of him the thing he was currently doing was. He just... had never actually settled down to do it before. Why was that? Maybe he was scared. Maybe it seemed crazy to him, suddenly turning his own life upside down like that, but wasn't that — sudden change — exactly what he was dying to get? Or maybe for the longest of times he was stupidly convinced that that kind of things was only supposed to be shared with someone special. But fuck, he was thirty-two now, and he didn't believe in fairy tales any more.

With his heart beating loud in his chest, he opened the first website that had popped up. The screen of his smartphone went black and in the air, right in front of his face, appeared a hologram of the website with an inviting phrase in hot red font, “WELCOME TO REALANGELS.COM, WHERE ALL YOUR DREAMS CAN COME TRUE“, surrounded not by angel wings, but by little devil horns and devil forks — he almost smiled at what they had done there. Making a gesture with his hand to scroll down, there was some information about the service, that he completely ignored, hot blood running through his veins, too impatient to find out who the website had to offer, when the hologram finally started displaying the list of who was available at the time.

It wasn't just a list of names with an attached picture and a couple of information about age, gender and specialities: right in front of him started appearing miniature holograms of those people, their entire bodies scanned, and he could look all around them, zoom on their faces, look closely at their naughty and captivating expressions. Yoongi didn't know how he felt about this, a website displaying human beings like merchandise just like that, but right next to their bodies he also found a basic introduction to them, followed by the lowest price someone should be able to afford to even stand a chance of getting them. Because that's how that business worked: it was all about who could pay more money and who would be chosen by those people themselves, that had the right to decline any client for any reason at all. Actually, they were their own bosses.

Prostitution had always existed in some part of his mind, but he had never actually reached for it. It was quite a popular thing at that time, at least amongst those that could afford that kind of service: as selling sex had gotten accepted and recognised globally as a fully respectable job, it also had completely changed in a few ways. Prostitutes would usually just have from one to three clients that they saw regularly, not just once, usually those that they chose themselves based on how much they were willing to pay them; in the same way, they could decline or abandon a client that they had been working for even for a long period of time just like that, at any given moment. Though it was true that real, human prostitutes weren't nearly as many or as popular as robot-prostitutes, or even virtual reality prostitutes, AIs built specifically to fulfill those basic human needs, with no emotions, no shame, just a very vast variation of functions and possibilities. But Yoongi wasn't interested in that. Paying for something like that would have been even more embarrassing than virtually kissing the perfect man he had programmed himself.

Truth be told, there was something just so fascinating about other humans. Yoongi felt kind of curious about them, as he never actually got to be around anyone that much — but he was curious to see emotions develop on someone's face, hear their thoughts, their honest, unfiltered and uncensored words. And after all, he could definitely afford a prostitute. Maybe one of the reasons for his loneliness was his profound sense of duty and dedication to whatever he thought he had to do, starting from school during his childhood, then university, and now work, that led him to push away from himself what maybe would have made him a little bit happier, just to concentrate on what was his practical task in life. But now, as one of the best technology-combined interior designer of the world, he could definitely afford just whoever he liked.

He just had to find him, and gather up some courage.

He changed his preference to men and started scrolling down, not only looking at their appearances, but quickly reading their short descriptions as well. To be fully honest, he didn't even know what exactly was he looking for; but for every person he saw, he just wasn't feeling fully convinced to them. He saw men of all kinds, some more muscular ones, some less, some with masculine traits, others looking more feminine, but not a single one that would scream at him to take him. Many of those men were specialised in things he had absolutely no experience with, like heavy bondage, torturing, furries — to be honest, he wasn't feeling attracted to that, even though the problem wasn't the fact that he was unable to imagine himself in situations like that... The truth was that he couldn't really imagine himself having sex with a random man and then paying him for that at all. Yet he kept scrolling, maybe out of pure curiosity.

There were so many of them, that at some point he started scrolling through them without paying attention any more, feeling getting somewhat bored. But at some point, in that mess of attractive bodies, interesting faces and quirky personalities, he suddenly caught a glance of something that in some way spoke to him; though he had moved his hand forward so fast, instinctively, that he had to scroll back to look again at the one boy that he found interesting.

And there he was. When the hologram appeared in front of him, that of a tall, muscular boy, dressed in all black, with tight leather pants perfectly grabbing around his tastefully sculpted thighs and a see-through crop top that left his strong abs uncovered, Yoongi could feel his eyes sparkle up with interest. He moved his head forward, getting his face closer to the boy, as if that was in any way necessary to read his description: he was twenty-one, currently living in the same city as him, only got basic education, 1.78 cm tall, also called the Bunny Boy. When Yoongi touched those two words with his fingers, the hologram changed to that of the same boy dressed in a playful suit of a bunny that left him almost completely naked, with cute bunny ears and a bunny tail. Yoongi blushed, feeling as if he was looking at something he wasn't supposed to experience, and he went back to the first image, looking at the face of the prostitute closer. He had really nice features: big, round, sparkly eyes, pretty pink lips, a nice shaped nose and the cutest teeth-showing smile Yoongi had ever seen. His jawline was very sharp, his black hair was a little long, almost touching his shoulders, and endearingly curly, so that a few strands were gently falling onto his forehead, which was an excellent, gentle contrast to the manliness of his biceps, abs and legs. He looked at the boy's name. Jeongguk.

Yoongi felt as if he had found what he was looking for. Jeongguk.

Suddenly, he felt a sheet of anxiety falling all over him, without any apparent reason. Right below the description - which also specified that the boy preferred to be a bottom, and even though this didn't really go well with Yoongi's taste, he couldn't let himself give up this pretty face just for that one little detail - there was his contact info, including his social media. Yoongi's fingers grasped gently his instagram username and his page quickly appeared right in front of him: it was beautifully color-coordinated, mainly containing blacks and bright neons, in a perfect night-club kind of aesthetic. Yoongi got lost amongst his posts, scrolling further and further down into his feed, zooming on the pictures every now and then, and with every glance taken feeling more and more attracted to this young man. Though when he saw a picture of him simply playing video games, like any other young adult would, not wearing anything teasing or revealing this time (although his caption did say “daddy, please play with me while i play my favourite games~“ with a set of winky and kissy emojis at the very end), he had to stop and reflect for a second.

Fuck, this boy was only twenty-one. Part time, he was a regular, normal boy in his 20s, enjoying things that other people his age enjoyed: video games, probably sci-fi films, partying until dawn, travelling, casual hook ups with attractive strangers. He was so young, yet from his profile Yoongi could tell he was already pretty popular in the industry, definitely making a good amount of money. Should he be the one contributing to this as well? He wasn't so sure of that. Sure, if Jeongguk didn't like him, he would just simply say no and wouldn't be forced into anything, but still... buying sex from a twenty-one-year-old just because of his own pathetic loneliness and need of someone's closure didn't feel right. The lump in his throat tightened, as he sighed loudly and looked around, just to get his eyes off the boy for at least a few seconds. But when he focused on the couch in the living room he almost got fucked by his imaginary boyfriend on, all of his doubts seemed to disappear as quickly as they had appeared. Fuck it. What he was about to do wasn't anything bad. If the boy didn't like him, he would just reject him, and everything would be good. All of that was consensual. It was fine.

Still, he felt so nervous opening his DMs. He stared at the screen for a good ten minutes before taking a big breath and finally started to type something. A brief, concise message. A question, if Jeongguk was available and if he was up to doing something together. His text got read almost immediately, but the boy didn't answer straight away - Yoongi felt as if he was checking him out from his pictures to decide whether he wanted to take him as a client or not. (The man suddenly felt so, so embarassed of his instagram pictures, that weren't anything special, really — mostly pictures of Holly, his parents' dog that he loved so very much, very few, blurry selfies and some photos of the city at night. He wasn't really that good at that whole social media thing).

Then, finally, an answer, that was a question at the same time: Jeongguk was asking how much was he willing to pay. Yoongi felt himself sweating, standing in front of both a great chance, as well as a great risk and responsibility. Then, after some thinking, he typed the biggest sum of money he could offer to the prostitute. He really didn't want to lose this possibility. He really didn't want to lose... Jeongguk.

This time the boy replied straight away. He was very happy with his answer.

*

He was nervously playing with his own fingers, hand hidden in the pocket of his jeans. Looking around, clearly waiting for someone, he definitely wasn't looking sleek or mysterious, standing in front of the café - and maybe he should have, maybe he should have at least tried to look like that kind of attractive, mysterious and kind of dark guy like he always did in the past, in his high school and college years, but he just couldn't bring himself up to it this time. He was definitely way too anxious to think about anything that wasn't the seconds passing by, and the moment of his first meeting with Jeongguk getting close.

After some serious hesitation, mixed with negative thoughts and this feeling that he could do something wrong and ruin everything at any point, he had asked the boy if they could meet at a neutral ground first, such as the cafe he sometimes used to get his coffee at: that is, when he wasn't sipping on it already in the comfort and silence of his own apartment. He felt as if the boy had been a little surprised by that at first, yet he still tried not to sound rude when he agreed to that, though admitting that it was a bit of a weird thing to do. Of course, his clients only ever wanted sex from him. Yoongi was inviting him for a coffee as if they were going on a date, to get to know each other, or whatever. That was weird. Yoongi was weird.

Truth be told, Yoongi felt the need to get to know this boy a little first, before jumping to bed with him. He had absolutely no experience with this kind of things and maybe that's why he wasn't sure of being able to just agree to get fucked by a guy he had never spoken to before. If he didn't find a little bit of small talk absolutely necessary, he would have spared himself the embarassment of asking Jeongguk such thing, but unfortunately, he did.

Extremely punctual, the boy appeared at the corner of the street at the exact time they had agreed on the day before. Yoongi suddenly felt a rush of heat going through his body, heart racing at an incredible speed: he couldn't believe that he was actually doing that. His own desperation led him, at the age of thirty-two, to contact a young prostitute and pay him to fuck him. Just for his own pleasure, just to feel something. Just to get some warmth and fake sense of affection going on in his life. Never in a thousand years he would have thought he'd let himself do such thing, but... here he was, standing still and looking in Jeongguk's direction, waiting for him to come closer and feeling himself dying on the inside. What the actual fuck was he doing? God, he was old, and this boy was only...

...Absolutely stunning. Yoongi's thoughts evaporated into thin air as he looked at Jeongguk with more attention. The boy was wearing all black: black the tight pants hugging his thighs, just as the ones on his hologram, black the half-unbuttoned shirt showing off his muscular chest, black his big, heavy, Buffalo shoes, black the collar he wore around his neck, black the several earrings he was wearing — the only things that weren't black were the several silver rings that embellished his fingers. Fuck, he was definitely looking pretty rich, not afraid to show off that he was earning good amounts of money, though not letting his surroundings know how was he earning it. He got closer to Yoongi and stood right in front of him, looking down at him with a little smirk that made Yoongi think about the conversation they had the day before, via text.

The question of how did Yoongi want him had come with a list of the huge variety of things Jeongguk could turn into just for him: a cute, shy, blushy boy, a tough, untamed, bratty boy, a romantic kind of boy, a sadistic kind of boy, a cold, unreachable kind of boy, an obedient, good boy... And reading through all of that, Yoongi had understood two things: one, Jeongguk was convinced that he wanted him to be a bottom, and two, he actually didn't want any of the things that the boy had listed in his description. Pet play, blood play, bondage, sadism... he wasn't feeling interested in that. Actually, he didn't even know what he wanted himself. He guessed that he wanted just... plain sex.

He asked that carefully, choosing his words gently, telling the boy that he himself would have liked to be the bottom (oh my god, never in his entire life would he have thought he would ever be typing these words... how embarrassing). This time Jeongguk didn't let his surprise peek through — for that amount of money, he probably didn't see that as a big problem — and proceeded to ask him how did Yoongi want him again, to which the older had just replied that... Jeongguk could be whatever he wanted to be that day. For some reason, he didn't want him to act, to play a part for him. For some reason, Yoongi wanted him to be genuine, as if he wanted to... really get to know him.

And so there he was. Supposedly just the way he was, smirking a little as he was looking down at Yoongi from his 1,78 cm plus those giant shoes of height. Stupidly, Yoongi didn't even know how to react, as he was just staring at him without a word.

— Wow, I figured you taller from the pictures.

Oh. So the natural Jeongguk was like... that.

— Uhm... — Yoongi stuttered, not really sure what to say. He reached forward for a handshake. — Hi, I'm Yoongi. Nice to meet you.

The boy looked kind of surprised at the gesture, but he shook his hand nonetheless. Their first skin-to-skin touch felt electric to Yoongi. Jeongguk's hand was warm, while his own was probably disgustingly sweaty. He felt the sudden need to hide inside of himself.

— Yeah, I'm Jeongguk, but you already know that, and, probably, many other things.

The look on his face wasn't hinting at anything caste, nor pure. Yoongi felt his embarrassment growing, and he awkwardly cleared his throat, turning around to point at the entrance of the cafe. He was hoping that once they had sat down at a table, the whole situation would have taken a better, more enjoyable turn, even though Jeongguk wasn't looking all that excited about meeting his new client outside of a bedroom.

— So... wanna get inside?

The boy answered by shrugging his shoulders, which Yoongi decided to take as a yes. He turned around, happy to hide his slightly flushed cheeks, and nervously walked up to the door, holding it open for the other, who got inside without even glancing at him nor stopping, confidently walking up to a table and sitting down at it. Feeling as if the ground could suck him in at any point now, the older joined him, sitting at the opposite side.

— This is one of my favourite places. Probably because it's one of the last ones kept in the traditional style, you know, no AIs getting and delivering your orders, just regular, human waiters... — he said shyly with a little smile, trying to get a little conversation started, but all he got from Jeongguk was a little nod of understanding and no eye contact, as the boy was already too focused on the menu card, trying to choose a drink. Yoongi felt the awkwardness rising up during those two minutes of complete silence, until the boy decided to break it.

— Oh, you're paying, right? — he asked suddenly, looking up at him with no warning, which left Yoongi feeling as if he just got caught staring at him for way too long, way too intensely. The question puzzled him as he hadn't even thought of the money matter, not in this case, at least.

— Oh, yeah, sure. Get whatever you want, Jeongguk — he replied, probably trying to sound sweet, but his voice was trembling a little. He felt just ever so slightly intimidated. And, god damn it, Jeongguk was so much younger than him.

A few more moments of uneasy silence passed by, until a waiter walked up to their table and took their orders. As Jeongguk was talking to her, Yoongi found himself silently staring at him in awe, the way his face suddenly turned from a cocky smirk to an expression of politeness in a matter of seconds, how his eyes seemed so big and somewhat gentle despite his attitude, how soft his hair looked and just how nice the line of his nose was. He looked away just in time, and once again they found themselves not making any conversation, just kind of sitting at the same table, as if that had happened simply by coincidence.

— But damn, you do look like in the pictures, after all. I'm glad — the boy said suddenly, which made Yoongi look at him half confused, half interested. So, he had been looking at him as well.

— Why do you say so?

— Well, it often happens that my own clients catfish me, for... whatever reason. It's very annoying and I usually have to turn them down after that, so I'm just happy you actually have the face that was on your instagram profile.

— Oh, well... yeah, I didn't even think about lying about that, to be honest — he replied, then he hesitated until adding to that: — I don't see the use of that anyway, really. I thought it was all just about how... how much money a client can give you.

Jeongguk laughed wholeheartedly at his brave and uncensored sentence.

— Sure, that plays a big role, too. Maybe the biggest one, actually. — The smirk had appeared on his face again and now Yoongi felt as if the younger was glancing at him in such a flirty way. — But, you know. There are extreme cases in which someone's physical appearance just makes me not want to do my job. I might sound like a jerk, but well, that's just the truth. I have a vast freedom when it comes to declining offers for whatever reason, without explaining myself, really, so why not use it? Those sex workers defending laws... I like them sometimes — he stopped for a second, that felt infinite and unbearable to Yoongi, as Jeongguk was looking him dead in the eye. — And you... Well, you're okay.

Yoongi scoffed, not able to control himself, and his eyebrows arched high. Okay? That's the compliment Jeongguk wanted to give him? That's how he wanted to describe him? And, judging by his face, he was definitely enjoying having said that, too. What a little brat.

— Wow, you sure are generous with words — he defended himself, but he couldn't stop his cheeks from blushing because of his own boldness.

Jeongguk laughed again and rested his chin on the palm of his hand, getting a little bit closer across the table.

— Come on, I know I don't have to lure you with words. I know that you already like me. That you're attracted to me. Just look at you.

A once again puzzled Yoongi felt warmth on his cheeks, but this time managed to keep up Jeongguk's games, both with his eyesight and words. He didn't want to give up to him just because he was obviously attractive and hot, even though exactly that kind of people were the ones always winning in life. He was getting brave for some reason, or at least inside of himself, because on the outside, his voice was visibly shaking.

— Well, wasn't it already obvious? I chose you, after all. I contacted you — he replied. — Also, I am the one paying you, so be nice.

He was expecting Jeongguk to once again reply with something mean, something witty and cocky, just as he had done since the very second of their meeting, but instead of doing that, the boy just smiled a little, looking almost... satisfied. Tamed down, maybe? Yoongi couldn't understand that, and he felt even more confused than before, but he couldn't think about it any longer, as the waitress came up to their table again, placing their orders in front of them.

Yoongi placed his hands around his cup, taking the first sip of his decaffeinated drink. His typical order was an iced Americano, but to be completely honest, he wasn't so keen on taking in caffeine now, already feeling so nervous and a little bit anxious, not knowing what to expect in the next few hours of his life. The thought of probably having sex with the boy sitting in front of him in a relatively short amount of time still felt so unreal and... maybe not exactly right, but another part of him was telling him that that was exactly what he needed in his life. A little bit of surprise.

— So, what's your job? — Jeongguk asked, elegantly sipping on his cappuccino. — It's probably something fancy, isn't it? It must be, since you have that kind of money. Is your place nice?

— Oh, I'm... I'm a technology-combined interior designer. One of the... the best in the world, actually.

He was always so indulgent on saying those words in front of someone else — and that's why he really wasn't surprised that he, once again, got flustered. In return, Jeongguk's eyes sparkled up a little.

— Oh shit, you're one of those dudes — he exclaimed, suddenly looking so excited. — You work with AIs and stuff, right? Wow, you must do crazy things to people's houses. What's the weirdest thing you have ever done?

Programming a virtual man to hug me and kiss me when I'm not feeling well. Oh, also almost programming the same man to fuck me rough until I forget my own name. But I don't exactly know what that feels like, so... that's why you are here.

— Probably making an anti-theft AI sing a creepy song from a video game at the potential thief. It was like... a video game about thieves, I suppose, I don't really know, I'm not really...

— Wait, you mean Cops & Bad Blood? From the mission in which Kane gets caught in his own ex's house and there are lasers and stuff? No way! There is a viral clip going around of that AI. Wow, you did that? That's like, my favourite video game ever! — Jeongguk suddenly got all excited, apparently forgetting about his cocky facade and turning into just a regular, sweet, young boy right in front of Yoongi's eyes without even realising it. Yoongi smiled a little, sincerely. It was so nice to see him like that. - That's so cool. You must have fun at work, don't you?

The older stopped for a second, as if he had to think deeper about that question. Did he even enjoy his work? He wasn't so sure any more. Well, yes, it had made him really rich and really busy, which he personally liked, as it kept him away from his personal, emotional problems, but was it bringing him any actual satisfaction? He had no idea. But at least his parents liked it.

— Uhm, yeah, sure — he replied hesitantly, then sipped on his coffee. — Uhm... do you?

Jeongguk stared at him for a moment and Yoongi could just see him silently putting that sort of mask back onto his face. Maybe that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, maybe the boy felt safer that way. After all, his job wasn't the regular kind, actually.

— Well, it depends — he said, but something was clearly stopping him from telling the whole story. — On the clients, obviously. Some of them are more fun, some of them are less. Some of them ask me for really weird things, but to be honest, I don't really stop in front of anything, no matter how freaky that can be. Money is money, after all — he shrugged his shoulders and Yoongi asked himself, deep in his soul, what point a person had to reach to have that perspective of their own life. — The thing that I like is that I'm allowed to three or even four days completely off per week, if I want. And during that time none of my clients are really allowed to disturb me.

— Yeah, that sounds... rational. And don't worry, I certainly won't bother you on those days. That is, if... if everything goes well and I officially become your client — Yoongi murmured quietly with a shy smile, drinking some more. Then, to keep the conversation going, he added: — And what do you like doing on your days off?

— Just regular stuff. Nothing too exciting, actually.

He didn't add anything else, didn't specify what kind of stuff did he like, and that Yoongi saw as kind of an indicator where the line was. Jeongguk didn't want him to get into his personal life, which was completely understandable: after all, he was nothing but a soon-to-be-client. When he had suddenly broken his facade for a second after hearing about that video game — that was probably something he was regretting right at this moment.

— Oh, okay.

That wasn't very brilliant to say of him, but Yoongi just didn't want to intervene no more or to force small talk onto a boy, that was clearly here just for business. Suddenly, Yoongi felt guilty of even asking him about this whole meeting. Their conversation died, slowly but surely.

— Let me just get some things straight. 'Cause this is your first experience with a sex worker, right? — Jeongguk asked suddenly, after a couple more sips of his coffee. The other one nodded slowly with his head, though Jungkook pronouncing that word — sex worker — so loudly in a public space made him sweat a little. — Today you will get the first service, which you pay for. But, if I decide so, I can decline you becoming my client and therefore getting any other services. But if you do become my client... you will be able to ask me for whatever you want, at any time, I don't really have any boundaries. You have my phone number already, you can just text me, tell me about your requirements and we will set up something. That is, if that's not my day off, but I will make sure to let you know about these beforehand.

Service. Payment. Declining. Clients. Boundaries. Requirements. Yoongi didn't like those words, they all sounded so... cold and harsh. Not exactly what he wanted his first time to be like. Still, he listened patiently, trying to remember all the information, feeling a little bit awkward, talking about this kind of topic in a public place, where anyone could hear them. His cheeks were a little flushed.

— As for things I don't do... there isn't anything like that, so don't be shy. I'm best known as a rope bunny, though.

Yoongi felt his own face being set aflame, hearing those words and receiving a wink from the boy. He kind of wanted to disappear from the face of Earth, to be honest. Jeongguk reached out to him from all across the table and slightly brushed the top of his hand with the light touch of his fingers.

— I hope we will have fun together, Yoongi — he said quietly, his voice low, sensual, mischievous. The heart of the older one wanted to jump out of his chest, yet somehow he managed to keep his gaze on the dark haired boy, still.

— Ye-... yeah, me... me too.

*

Awkward, awkward, awkward. So incredibly awkward. So fucking goddamn awkward.

That was all Yoongi could think about as he was leading Jeongguk into the lift that would have taken them in just a matter of a few seconds to the very last floor of the skyscraper, to his apartment. He felt as if breathing had become such a hard and horrible task all of a sudden, as he pressed the right button with a trembling finger, trying to hide all of his nervousness away from the boy, currently very carefully observing everything around him, in awe. Even though he had probably already noticed everything — experience had made it easy for him to read his clients.

Just looking at where he lived, it was easy to tell how big Yoongi's income was. Everything in that interior screamed filthy rich, good jobs, big minds (or big families), all of that. Yet no one could ever imagine that behind that amount of money was hidden a loneliness and desperation as big as Yoongi's. So big that it had filled his entire life, his days off when he didn't have anyone to hang out with, anywhere to go, anything to do other than sip some whiskey while re-watching once again one of his favourite films, those that he had always watched on his own, those that the modern world had already forgotten about, as they were too old-fashioned. He was dreaming of being able to show them to someone, one day.

— Hm, last floor? — the boy asked, glancing at the pressed button and taking Yoongi by surprise so suddenly, that he only got a nervous nod in response. Well, now he had definitely noticed.

The few seconds passing by between the closing of the doors and their re-opening felt incredibly long and awfully filled with silence. Finally, they got out and Yoongi led the younger to his door, which he just touched with his right hand in order for it to slide open in front of them, having recognised his digits. Yoongi let Jeongguk get inside first. He could feel his awe just spreading in the entire room as he looked around, hands in his pockets, first at all of the ultra-new technology, then at the decorations and colour palette. Yeah, frankly, Yoongi was pretty good at that.

— I like it. You did all of that? — he looked at him, and once again, Yoongi did nothing but nod. — Wow, great job.

Great job. For some reason, hearing that felt so, so good. His work was never really appreciated in anything but money, which of course, he couldn't complain about, but... Never would he have thought that two words like that could feel that good.

— Thank you — he answered with a shy smile, but then he got interrupted by the hologram of his house guardian set up by Taei appearing right in front of him. Jeongguk looked at it as if it had scared him, ready to either escape or defend himself, but it only took him a few moments to realise that it wasn't a real person, just another element of this whole crazy technology journey. He let out a single “wow“ and Yoongi felt some kind of pride, again.

The hologram looked like a woman in an elegant, evening dress, her red, slightly curly, long hair touching the back of her thighs. Yoongi could change the appearance of his guardian whenever he wanted, but he particularly liked this one: to him, it felt very reassuring, gentle and sweet, so home-y, and that was all that he wanted, really. Other than that, the hologram would switch outfits depending on the moment of the day, day of the week or the activities its owner had signed in his planner, and usually that kind of elegant dresscode was what was expected on evenings. Not that Yoongi had signed in his planner a hookup with a sex worker, of course.

— Welcome home, Yoongi — the woman spoke softly, seeming to be looking directly at him. Slowly, she shifted her gaze to Jeongguk. — I see you have brought a guest. Good evening, mister... — a fraction of a second was enough for her to scan the boy's identity. — Jeon Jeongguk. Can I offer you anything to drink?

— Maybe I should be the one asking you that — Yoongi interrupted with a little awkward chuckle, brushing his fingers between the hair on the back of his head. But the younger one didn't look offended by any of that: he was looking at the woman in absolute awe, mouth wide open, eyes filled with disbelief. — This is my home guardian. That's one of the innovations I came up with some time ago...

— Wow, that's so cool, really. I've never seen anything like this! — Jeongguk exclaimed, putting one hand in front of him, and trying to touch the woman, obviously failing. — Does she have a name?

— Uhm, not really. I change my guardian's appearance when I feel like it, so I don't really ever name them... But the main AI in my house is called Taei. She's sleeping now.

— Wow, so cool... — the boy repeated, whispering. His eyes were getting so big, so curious, and Yoongi found that to be absolutely adorable.

When it all went quiet for a second, Yoongi started feeling the pressure of the rushing, incoming moment of getting down to business. He kind of wanted to push it back as much as possible.

— So... Do you want something to drink? Like, you know... to get the mood right, or something. — His voice went quieter, overcome with his own awkwardness. — I got whiskey.

— Oh, me? — Jeongguk's eyes finally unglued themselves from the guardian and laid back on Yoongi. In a matter of seconds, the older saw his typical, somewhat cold and uninterested mask fall back onto his face. What a shame, he was so pretty when his eyes were sparkling with excitement. — No, I don't really drink, thanks. Unless you want me to as part of...

— No, no, it's fine. You don't have to drink — he rushed to explain, then proceeded to the kitchen, followed by the curious boy and the guardian, who instead of walking, just teleported right behind the counter.

There, Yoongi got a bottle of his favourite whiskey and poured himself a glass. God, it was so humiliating that he, age thirty-three, had to first let himself go with some strong alcohol before having sex with a twelve years younger sex worker. Very attractive sex worker, but still. He was a grown man, god damn it. He really couldn't do it. He wanted to, but at the same time... he didn't want to. He didn't hate the exact action on its own, he just hated the fact that he felt at a breaking point, where that was his only solution, his only escape, his only option. He really wasn't sure if he was able to survive even one more day with the feeling of that humiliating loneliness on his shoulders.

If he was ever to have kids, he would raise them in a way that wouldn't make them end up like him, that's for sure. His parents did a poor job at not making him socially distant, to the point that at this age he hadn't even ever kissed anyone.

Lifting the glass up to his lips, he let them soak in the alcohol for a second before drinking some of it. Fortunately, Jeongguk wasn't looking at him, too caught up in looking around at the interior of Yoongi's apartment, definitely mesmerized not only by the guardian, but by all the aesthetically pleasing furniture as well; Yoongi glanced at his pretty profile, trying to contain his anxiety within himself. It still felt so unreal that in a matter of minutes he would end up with this boy in bed — and it still felt some kind of wrong, paying someone for this sort of thing just because he got sick of being lonely, but he decided to push those feelings aside. After all, that was Jeongguk's actual job. Legal, protected and all of that.

Maybe he let himself slide into the depth of his own thoughts for a little too long, because at some point he unexpectedly felt two strong arms wrapping around his waist, as he was standing in front of the counter, the glass of whiskey still in his hand. He turned his head around to the side just what was enough for him to look at the boy's face: Jeongguk was smiling, mischievous and a little cocky, now looking at the way his fingers were lingering around the glass and softly pressing himself to his back. Not even realising it, Yoongi had stopped breathing for a second, not used to this kind of closure, actually, not used to any kind of physical touch — Jeongguk's warmth was spreading all over his back and entire body, reaching his chest and cheeks, where it turned into a pretty flush of coral.

— Hm, sorry, I got a little bit tired of waiting — the younger murmured softly, the grin not leaving his lips as he tried to look as cute and innocent as possible. So pure, yet somehow a little bit naughty, too. — I'm not really patient, you must know... Hope you don't mind? You told me to be myself.

— Oh — Yoongi stuttered a little, caught off guard. — N-no, of course I don't.

He put the glass down, scared of accidentally dropping or breaking it in case Jeongguk would do anything else that would be so... new to him. The boy didn't know anything about this: he didn't know why Yoongi reached out to him (it was probably considered rude to ask this first-hand to a customer), he didn't know about his loneliness, his lack of human contact, nor about his lack of experience in everything that concerned dating, touching, kissing and... having sex. Yoongi was just about to lose his virginity with him, and he wasn't even aware of that.

One small gesture of his hand was enough to make his guardian disappear.

— You smell really nice, you know? — Jeongguk's voice was both raspy and soft. Yoongi felt his fingers slowly caress his stomach, then his sides, as his nose pressed into the creek of his neck. — Very manly. I like it. I like my men like this.

The cute giggle he let out after resulted in Yoongi blushing a little more, yet he pushed himself to try to react to the touch and the contact, not wanting to just stand there like an ice statue and melt inside Jeongguk's embrace, not doing anything and proving himself a fool. That's why he placed his own hands on the boy's, feeling his warmth and playing with his fingers a little, as the younger started placing little soft kisses on his neck. Oh, god, that was his first time ever and it felt heavenly — he closed his eyes, almost ready to relax and let go, and just enjoyed the pleasurable touches. All these little things were enough to heat him up. God, was he weak.

It felt so unreal. Everything was about to happen. So little was standing between him, and that line.

— Are you okay with kissing?

That question made him blush more than anything else. His muscles clenched up again, as just the thought of kissing was enough to make him shy; he really didn't want to show it, but he didn't think it was possible for him to hide something so blatant. He cleared up his voice a little before turning around to face Jeongguk, trying to look at him, but ending up having to look away and focus his gaze on some random object in the kitchen, as his mind was already portraying him and the attractive boy kissing. Oh, god, and his lips were so pretty too. So pinky, looking so soft. Oh my god, and what if Jeongguk would feel in their kiss that Yoongi didn't know how to do it? What if right after that discovery he would decide to decline him?

— Uhm, yeah... yes, yes, I am.

The boy smiled at him a little, looking as if he had just discovered all of his secrets.

— Oh, you're a shy one, I see. Cute. That's okay, don't worry, many other first-timers are like this, too...

Except for me, that would be the first kiss in my entire life, not just with a sex worker.

— Besides, I really wanna kiss you. — Jeongguk had gotten closer to his ear to whisper those lustful words so quietly, as if they were a secret only Yoongi was allowed to keep. — I may not drink, but I really wanna taste that whiskey on your tongue, Yoongi.

He felt as if suddenly his entire body had been set aflame. He almost choked on his own spit, listening to the dirtiest words anyone had ever told him, and then he looked at the boy with pure shock in his eyes, forgetting to not let him know just how bad he would have been at all of that. But Jeongguk seemed to not mind, this time pressing him a little to the counter behind him before kissing his neck again. Yoongi gasped, feeling him so unbelievably close and looking at how Jeongguk had taken his hands into his own and placed them on his chest, an invitation for the older one to start touching him, and feeling him up. And so Yoongi did.

Jeongguk's body was so firm and steady under his touch. His muscles were strong and pressing his fingers onto them was enough for Yoongi to feel turned on, trying to ignore just how embarrassing he was being. He felt the younger's smile against his neck, that he kept on kissing for quite a while, working Yoongi up and only making him hotter and hotter, when finally he grabbed him firmly and started getting close. First to his cheek, that he lingered with his lips, then slowly to Yoongi's mouth... The moment of their lips getting closer and closer felt like infinity, and Yoongi panicked, seeing the other one so close to him, clenching his fists on his clothes, unable to close his eyes and let go. Oh god, he really was about to do it. It really was about to happen and the best part of it all was that Jeongguk looked like he wanted it, too. Of course, that was all part of the act, but it made Yoongi feel better in all of his awkwardness and anxiousness.

One of Jeongguk's hands searched for his and grabbed it gently, intertwining their fingers, as Yoongi's other one, following a natural instinct, placed on the younger's neck. At this point they were so close, that they were breathing each other's oxygen, looking at each other from that little distance that made Yoongi feel as if he was made of fire. Breathing was really hard when that gorgeous boy was staring right at him with that dangerous smirk and his lips were looking so sweet and inviting at the same time; it became even harder, when he softly murmured his name in a quiet, raspy voice.

— Yoongi... I want to have fun with you tonight.

The man didn't even have to time to fully feel his body reacting to that statement, because Jeongguk quite quickly pressed his lips onto his. Yoongi felt every single cell inside of his body panic, as he didn't know how to act: he tried to close his eyes, but they desperately wanted to stay open, he wanted to kiss the boy back, but he had no idea how to. Jeongguk gently placed one hand on his cheek and pressed on his lips a little harder, to the point that Yoongi opened up a little and felt a little bit of Jeongguk's tongue. Oh, god, it was wet and so pleasantly warm and it definitely knew what it was doing. His cheeks turned all shades of red as he finally closed his eyes, yet didn't manage to relax his body fully yet, and just let himself enjoy the kiss, receiving it, unable to give anything back. He felt really awkward, just holding onto Jeongguk, now the fingers of both of his hands wrapped around some amount of the boy's black shirt, trying to... do something with his mouth every now and then, anything, but failing every time, to the point that he just gave up and let Jeongguk do the job.

Oh god, that was his first kiss. In his kitchen, with no experience, no ability to kiss back, with a gorgeous, young man, that was holding him steady in his arms and was ready to give him all the pleasure of this world. All of that for money, but, well, that was just one little detail, wasn't it?

The boy was really doing it well, even though Yoongi was pretty sure that he wasn't giving it all just yet. Nonetheless, that was absolutely enough to get him worked up, because as they pulled away, the older one found himself breathing heavily. He looked away, embarrassed, but Jeongguk didn't say a word about it — he just gave him another one of his smirks, as his hands started looking around Yoongi's small body. The older one looked at him almost puzzled, hands placed on his chest again, as Jeongguk was smirking and fiercely staring at his now so wet and pinky lips. It made him shy, to be in the centre of the attention of someone so attractive. It flustered him.

The boy's hands found the lowest point of his back, where they stopped for a second before proceeding further down. Yoongi suddenly felt the pressure of the moment pushing down again on his stomach, making its way between the butterflies that had appeared there in the meantime. Things were about to get serious, and he probably wasn't ready at all. But oh, fuck it. At least once in his life, he wanted to do something fun and restless. Let go. Not worry about responsibilities and duties.

— You're cute, with you cheeks flushed like that — Jeongguk murmured quietly and because of how close they still were, Yoongi could feel his breath on his lips. — I didn't expect you to get flustered so quickly. You're a pretty boy, huh, Yoongi, aren't you?

The older one bit his lower lip in embarassment at those words and just couldn't resist it any further: he moved forward and put his lips on those belonging to Jeongguk, even though he didn't know how to do anything yet. That didn't worry him for much longer, as the boy quickly initiated another kiss, once again gently sliding his tongue inside Yoongi's mouth, caressing him slowly. Yoongi wanted to gasp loudly, but instead he held onto the other one's clothes tighter, as the sex worker's warm hands finally grabbed his butt. He felt a little uncomfortable for a second, right before pushing all worries and insecurities away. Fuck it, fuck it all. He wanted Jeongguk to go on, to keep making him feeling new things, making him feel alive again.

The boy squeezed his ass, pressing his own body to Yoongi's tightly and at the same time pressing him with his back to the counter. The older man let out a little noise, that made Jeongguk break the kiss and look into Yoongi's eyes, while grabbing his thighs right below his ass and lifting him up, panting, to make him sit on top of the counter. Yoongi's heart fluttered loudly and he finally noticed that he felt as if his legs were made out of jelly — Jeongguk really did have that kind of strong effect on him. He looked down at him, so damn scared of the fact that now it would be obvious to the handsome boy that this was his first time ever doing all these things with someone. 

— You said you wanted to be receiving, right? — the boy asked, dressing that concept in such a pretty word, receiving

, at which Yoongi could only nod a little with his head, filled with insecurity. — That's right, baby, that suits you. You're so cute and tiny, I just want to fuck you hard against a wall. Smash you. Absolutely destroy you.

As he was spilling out those words, one by one, Jeongguk had been getting closer and closer to his ear, voice getting raspier and more aggressive, now wrapping fingers around his thighs and squeezing them, finally biting down into Yoongi's neck, allowing him to let out a single, quiet moan. Yoongi's heart was racing like crazy, his legs were shaking, he was feeling excitement and fear at the same time, but most importantly, his dick was already so hard in his pants. That was just another factor of his embarrassment, but he just couldn't deny how much all of that was working for him.

— I... I'd actually rather do it... just in bed — he let out quietly, insecure. He didn't want to look too vanilla, or whatever, but... that was just what he wanted. Some simple sex, soft, in bed, probably not lasting too long. After all, that would be his first sex ever and he wasn't feeling too brave, yet.

He was glad to hear Jeongguk's understanding tone.

— Of course, sugarplum — he answered, gaining a little bit of distance again. — Care to show me where's the bedroom, then?

Yoongi led him upstairs, to the end of the corridor and to the room on the right, where he was brought in Jeongguk's arms, holding onto his neck and feeling his cheeks becoming even redder with every step taken. His bedroom was very spacious: at the centre there was the big, comfortable bed, on the wall in front of it there was the latest model of the InviTV and the rest of the furniture looked pretty regular, except for the huge aquarium embedded in the ceiling, containing many different species of colourful fish, all living peacefully and every day being taken care of by one of the AIs of Yoongi's apartment. If Jeongguk weren't busy with something else now, he sure would have stopped and looked up in awe for a solid ten minutes, just standing there and staring.

But instead, he gently placed Yoongi at the centre of the bed, quick to hang over him right after that. Feeling the soft mattress and pillows beneath himself, the older man let out a little sigh, still not able to stop looking at Jeongguk with huge, amazed eyes, and shyly placed both his hands on the boy's cheeks. The sex worker smiled softly at him, and kissed him again — once again, not getting any kind of big response from him; Jeongguk was probably thinking about how terrible of a kisser Yoongi was — and pressed himself on him harder, almost grinding on him. The pressure in Yoongi's pants was slowly becoming so very hard to bear.

— Just tell me how you want it, baby, and I'll give it to you — he murmured sexily, getting away from his lips just what was enough to be able to talk. Feeling his gaze on himself, Yoongi's belly exploded in an infinite amount of different, colourful emotions.

What could he tell him? He didn't even exactly know what he wanted himself. He just... he wanted sex. He wanted closure, warmth, someone's touch. He wanted to be taken care of, he wanted affection and... He didn't dare to say he wanted love or love making, because he knew that wasn't what Jeongguk was here for — despite everything, Yoongi still knew his position, he knew where the line was. But to answer that question, he had to imagine what would his first time be like with someone who... who loved him.

— Slow — he answered shyly, after a while of hesitation. Maybe he was making a fool out of himself, but fuck it, he wasn't able to reply with anything else. Nor he was able to stop his cheeks for getting so, so blushy. — I want it... slow and gentle... please?

Jeongguk didn't comment on this choice of his: he simply smiled mysteriously and went back to kissing him, once again letting his hands explore the older man's body. Yoongi was completely on the receiving part, not sure what to do, not able to commence anything because of his own awkwardness. He just placed his hands on the back of the boy's neck, shyly starting to try to kiss him back. He really enjoyed the kiss. Jeongguk was really good at it, as expected, and it felt just like he imagined it would: it was warm, a little wet, but that kind of pleasing wet, very reassuring and calming, despite all the butterflies going crazy in his stomach. Yes, he really liked kissing. He really liked kissing Jeongguk.

It just took a while for the boy to start to try to undress him. His fingers started sneakily grabbing him by his clothes, making his heart race even faster, because no one so far had ever seen him completely naked and despite all, despite Jeongguk being just a sex worker, he wanted to be pleasing for him as well — he didn't want to make his job any harder, just as Jeongguk had mentioned earlier, with clients that he didn't particularly enjoy the appearance of. So he pulled away from the kiss, a little panicked, when the boy's hands grabbed the belt of his pants, and one look was enough to make him understand that Yoongi wanted to do that part on his own. He just wasn't confident enough yet to let someone else undress him, see all of his insecurities and flaws, the little details of his skin. He very much wanted Jeongguk to ignore all of that.

With nervous, somewhat shaking hands he undid his belt and unzipped his pants, pulling them down to his ankles and then kicking them off, still laying down on the bed, holding up on his elbows. Seeing that he wanted to do all of that himself, Jeongguk pulled away a little, starting to unbutton his own shirt, yet still keeping his gaze on the older man as he was taking it off and ending up only wearing his underwear after a few seconds, right in front of him. Yoongi's first instinct was to cover his chest and belly a little with his arms, but he was reassured by Jeongguk's little smile and quiet “hey, it's okay“, as the boy got closer to him again and gently placed his hands on his shoulders, pushing him down to lay on the bed again. Yoongi let out a little sigh, still nervous, but trying so very hard to relax and let go; to do that, he found within himself the strength to wrap his arms around the boy's neck and dig his fingers in between his soft hair, pulling him closer for another kiss. This time he tried to be more active, giving Jeongguk soft, little kisses, not brave enough to go any further yet. The air was filled with the sounds of them kissing, clothes sliding off bodies and the sheets rubbing against their skin.

Shit, never would he have thought that it would be like that. That sex with a sex worker — or better, for now just the foreplay — would be somewhat soft and delicate. It felt the exact same way freshly washed sheets smelt, it felt like sunshine on his face, casting a tiny shadow of his eyelashes on his cheeks, it felt like serene sea breeze running through his hair. Finally, Yoongi could breathe.

The feeling of Jeongguk's hands on his bare skin was so thrilling and exciting, yet a little bit scary at the same time. Despite that, Yoongi just emptied his mind of all the negative thoughts. Jeongguk was making him feel good and warm and that was all that mattered for those few moments. Nothing else.

The boy's mouth slid down at his neck again, where his teeth grabbed Yoongi's flesh and sunk into it, causing him to let out a moan — again — that just made him even more embarrassed. Jeongguk smirked, continuing to bite his neck and slowly going even lower, lower and lower, stopping just beneath his belly button. Yoongi looked down, heart beating loud inside his chest, when the younger one placed a hand on his underwear, not squeezing or grabbing, just slightly pressing down, letting him feel the warmth of his hand spreading all across his intimate parts. Yoongi gasped loudly and his thighs tightened up, not having ever been touched like that by anyone. Jeongguk smiled a little in a very, very dangerous way and let out a quiet “shhh“ to calm the older one down, then proceeded to pleasantly massage his cock through the material of his underwear. And it was at this moment that Yoongi really felt just how weak he was.

Starting to take deep breaths, he followed every single movement of Jeongguk's hand with his eyes, so attentive and impatient at the same time. The boy was massaging him in a slow, steady rhythm, allowing him to adapt to it before eventually switching it up or making it faster. Though Yoongi really didn't need that at all to feel oh-so-aroused: his thighs soon started trembling because of how turned on he was, and he slowly forgot all about his embarrassment, as his thoughts were turning into one big mess of how good Jeongguk was making him feel. He let out some more impatient sounds, proof of how much pleasure was he receiving, and soon he got shut up by Jeongguk's lips pressing onto his mouth in another kiss, that this time was received with much more enthusiasm. As soon as he felt his touch, Yoongi grabbed the boy's face and started kissing him to the best of his possibilities, sloppily, messily, with close to no coordination, but at least now he was doing something, at least now he was trying. Grabbing his hair, pulling him closer, slowly going crazy, inhaling his deep, manly perfume.

Jeongguk pulled away, taking his hand away from Yoongi's crotch, making him whine quietly, then started feeling himself up, before taking off his own underwear, too.

— Stare for as long as you want, baby — he said with a smirk and the older man felt embarassed for having looked so obviously at his cock. But shit, he just couldn't help himself, even though he felt the need to look away after just a few seconds. He had never been naked with someone else before...

He cleared up his throat awkwardly, trying to ignore the fact that the boy, too, was hard. Yoongi sat up on the bed, not really sure what to do — should he touch him? Should he give him pleasure, or at least attempt to do so? Was he even allowed? — but Jeongguk swiped all his worries away by placing two fingers under his chin and making him look up at him. He was giving himself long, slow strokes and Yoongi got shy at the thought that he was doing it here, right in front of him, and tried so very hard to not look down. His cheeks were cutely flushed, his eyes all sparkly. Jeongguk smiled at that sight and Yoongi's heart did a flip.

— Want to take that off for me, baby? Or do I do it?

Immediately waking up from his slumber, the older murmured some intellegible* words, as he started taking off his own underwear, feeling stupid for having to wait for Jeongguk to ask him to do that. With every other inch of his body becoming naked, he felt all the awkwardness and shyness fall back heavy onto his shoulders. Putting his underwear away, the urge to close his legs and hide his most intimate parts was too hard, as well as that of not looking up at the boy. Oh god, what had he done. What did he get himself into... Now it was too late to run away, cancel everything, obviously. He would prove himself only even bigger of a fool, plus he would have wasted Jeongguk's precious time.

— Don't be shy, sugarplum. — The sex worker reached out for his chin again, sweetly. When Yoongi looked at him, he saw his gentle, warm smile. — Although you're so, so cute with those blushy cheeks and all. But I want you to enjoy all of this, alright? — Soft hands slid in-between the older's legs and opened them up, slow and gentle, then they ran up Yoongi's thighs, caressing them sweetly as they started shaking. — You're so adorable, baby, nothing to be shy about.

Yoongi wanted to believe his words, he really did. And so he forced himself to. Having taken a big breath, he did a little, cute nod with his head, as Jeongguk was staring right into his eyes, waiting for a sign of agreement. As he received it, Yoongi got another sweet, sloppy kiss as an award, a kiss that pushed him back on top of the pillows, while the younger one was climbing on top of him. He felt the texture of his hard length against his belly and tightened up a little again, but Jeongguk made him forget about everything by gently grabbing his dick in his hand and giving him a first few strokes. Yoongi couldn't help himself not to make some quiet noises inside the boy's mouth, that got louder just as he broke off the kiss to bite down into his lower lip and then neck, again. Suddenly, his bedroom was so obnoxiously hot. So awfully loud, inside his head.

It took some more foreplay before Yoongi started showing blatant signs of wanting to allow Jeongguk to go further — shit, all that must have looked so weird and unusual to the younger boy, because damn, Yoongi literally contacted him, and was paying for all of this, yet suddenly he was so unsure, so insecure? — such as lifting up his legs to press his knees to the sex worker's sides, allowing him closer to himself than anyone had ever been before. That feeling was electrifying, because Yoongi was slowly losing everything that he was: his mind, his conscience, his identity. Everything had disappeared under Jeongguk's touch and the everlasting awareness of what was about to happen. Yoongi was now nothing, but all the heat that he was feeling inside of him, and that thanks to Jeongguk.

When the boy pulled away from his lips, letting a subtle string of saliva form between their mouths, they looked at each other for longer than necessary, both panting. Yoongi's gaze was cloudy, his head wrapped around in soft, light mist, lips wet and pinky, hands shaking, wanting Jeongguk, Jeongguk, Jeongguk. And Jeongguk looked just perfect to his eyes: so slow and gentle, just how Yoongi asked, and so handsome, so endearing, his long hair perfect to pull, his eyes perfect to get lost into. And even though all of that was just a play, even though Jeongguk was only giving him love for money tonight, Yoongi didn't care any more. He just felt so good.

Jeongguk's hand caressed his cheek and then went higher, to brush his hair behind his ear. Yoongi dared to smile at him sweetly, feeling as if butterflies were dancing around inside of his body. He felt affection in those gestures, that he knew were fake, not genuine and studied, but it didn't bother him — that was what he had asked for, some kind of affection, warmth, the feeling of love, even if not real, even if just for money. That wasn't important.

— I want you on your back, because you're just so pretty, baby boy. I want to be seeing your cute face when I fuck you.

Oh, shit. Baby boy.

— Is that okay with you?

His cock was almost already drenching in precum. 

— Y—... yes, Jeongguk.

— Good baby.

Oh, yeah, he was definitely a baby boy.

Jeongguk was mesmerizing him into a state of submission he had never experienced before — and he was enjoying it very much. It was almost hard to believe that this boy's speciality was being a bottom, a rope bunny, and not a master able to put on his knees even the manliest of men. He just knew what he was doing and maybe the shyness, the insecurity he sensed from Yoongi made him fall into this role — because sure as hell Yoongi didn't demand this from him verbally. He had just said that Jeongguk should be whoever he was feeling like being. That of calling him a baby boy, was Jeongguk's conscious decision.

And that was such a turn on for Yoongi. Maybe Jeongguk really did see a cute, pretty baby boy in him.

The boy gently grabbed his jaw as he placed himself between his legs and Yoongi — just because that's what he thought was correct in that exact moment, just because he had seen this in porn a million times before, over and over again — wrapped them around him, even managing to rest one of them on Jeongguk's shoulder. The younger one smiled slightly at that gesture, grabbing now Yoongi's thigh and massaging it slowly, so that he sighed a little and relaxed, closing his eyes. It was only after a while, when he felt the boy getting ready to go further, that Yoongi's mind lit up with a matter that he knew he absolutely should not forget about.

— Jeongguk — he sighed out quietly, fixing the other's gaze on his pretty, little doll face. — Can you... can you do it with the fingers first?

Please, just don't ask why, please...

— Sure, sugarplum — the boy smiled at him sweetly. — Where can I find the lube?

Fortunately, Yoongi remembered to buy some before this whole situation, because he obviously had never used lube for anything, not even for... his alone time, so he could indicate with a gesture of his head the drawers to the right. The bottle of lube was completely filled (he had unsealed and opened it before, though, to make it at least a little less embarrassing), so Jeongguk could basically think either one of the two things: either that Yoongi was fucking people so frequently, that he was using bottles of lube over bottles and often buying new ones, or that he was just never fucking. He really hoped that the boy would lean more towards the first option, but honestly, he highly doubted it.

Jeongguk smeared a generous amount of lube on his hand, then reached for Yoongi's ass. He really tried to not tighten up in that exact moment, but that was nearly impossible — once again, he was so, so nervous, this time not because of the deep sense of humiliation, but he was just scared of the pain of the first time. Suddenly, this whole thing of doing it for the first time with a sex worker and not with someone he could potentially trust, appeared to be even dumber than he had previously thought.

— Hey, don't worry, baby — Jeongguk shushed him gently, seeing his oh-so-obvious nervousness. — I promised you I would be gentle, right? Just relax.

Right. Jeongguk did promise him that. And he wasn't someone Yoongi had known for a long time, he wasn't someone he could potentially trust, not knowing his core nor heart, but all of that was Jeongguk's job — so he must have been very good at that, both at executing and following his clients' decisions. So really, maybe Yoongi shouldn't worry.

After all, there was Jeongguk calling him baby right in front of him. What could go wrong?

The boy's sweet words whispered right into his ear and even sweeter kisses left on his neck distracted him from that new kind of subtle pain very quickly. At first, it wasn't so pleasant, but Yoongi just wrapped his arms around the other's neck, holding onto him strong, closed his eyes and felt his own heart sync up to the rhythm of the younger one's... and that was enough. His muscles loosened up quickly and the small pain at first became almost nice, then turned as a whole into just pure pleasure, that was given to him pulsing, repetitive, but never boring. It was sweet, how Jeongguk kept sliding his two fingers inside and out of him, sweet and almost calm, the lube getting pleasantly warm, everything smelling like... like Jeongguk. Yoongi's breath got a little faster and heavier, his lips were dying to let out small noises, but the boy didn't let him feel too good just yet. He had to make sure Yoongi would feel just the best with him, not with his fingers. And Yoongi was just drunk on his scent.

And when it happened — Jeongguk hanging over him, hands resting on the mattress at both sides of Yoongi's head, his amazing, perfectly sculpted body right above him, Yoongi's hands shyly placed at the centre of the boy's chest, their gazes intertwined, their breaths so close to each other — Yoongi felt filled in a way he had never experienced before. The first slow, gentle but pretty painful thrust made him open his mouth wide in awe and dig his fingernails into Jeongguk's skin, although he didn't let out a single sound. It happened with the next thrusts, just as gentle, but slowly getting a bit faster and definitely a lot more pleasing. Yoongi couldn't even comprehend how could one ever feel so good, so heavenly, because shit, this was so amazing, this was so nice, and he couldn't believe he had been missing out on this his entire life.

His thighs started shaking sweetly after not so long, not used to this kind of pleasure, and his hands had let go of Jeongguk's body, falling back onto the sheets, digging his nails into his own palms. Spreading his legs wide for the boy, he almost wasn't breathing, eyes closed and head tilted back, exposing the delicate neck that Jeongguk quickly started leaving gentle teeth marks on, which turned him on so much — and Jeongguk seemed to have noticed that. At the same time, the younger one grabbed one of Yoongi's wrists and suggested with a gesture that he slid his fingers in between his dark hair. And so, Yoongi started pulling.

It was all so amazing, how he was getting fucked by that handsome, gorgeous young boy in a steady, sweet rhythm, that gave him all the pleasure he was looking for his entire life. His entire body moved with that of Jeongguk's and the bed moved along with them, the sound mixing up with Yoongi's moans and the sex worker's panting. He felt so amazingly relaxed, as if every single muscle of his body had finally decided to let go, as if he just wanred to give himself whole to Jeongguk... But it all ended quite quickly — as expected, Yoongi wasn't able to stay in that heavenly state for long, yet. He felt an unreal amount of sweet, sweet pleasure as he came, hard and for the first time unashamed, and after that Jeongguk's thrusts started to slow down gradually, until he laid down next to him, both of them panting. Yoongi was having a hard time trying to come back to this realm from that of a timeless and spaceless reality, in which he just felt good.

Eyes closed, everything around him felt as if it was spinning and he was the only one stuck in place. It was a mindblowing experience: his body finally satisfied, his mind relaxed, not a worry in the world, just the taste of Jeongguk's tongue and the stickiness of his semen. The warmth, the feeling of fullfillment, his muscles relaxed, body unable to move, cheeks so fucking hot, his own cum on his belly, his sweet thighs still shaking. He couldn't take control over his fast breathing yet, as he heard Jeongguk moving the sheets around, intended to get off the bed. That suddenly set an alarm in his head: everything was over, and Jeongguk was about to prepare to leave. But Yoongi didn't want him to... he so desperately didn't want him to. Everything was over, but... to him, it just felt like a new beginning.

He opened his eyes suddenly, and he probably would have wanted to reach out to the boy, or at least move in his direction, but his tired, shaking and sweaty body wasn't allowing him to. He looked at Jeongguk's back, as he was picking up his clothes from the floor.

— Jeongguk — he called, gasping for air. The boy turned around to look at him with two surprised, so sweet and gentle looking eyes. — Can you... stay with me a little longer?

The puzzled expression on Jeongguk's face could not be mistaken for anything else. It definitely was an uncommon request, the one he was getting. Yoongi knew he wasn't expecting that.

— Please, I... I can pay a little extra.

And once his sweet smile was back on his lips, Jeongguk laid down back in his big, but until now always so empty, bed. Placing his head on his shoulder, Yoongi sighed a little, closed his eyes and smiled slightly, too.

The comfort that Jeongguk's presence was giving him now was worth even more money than the sex.