Work Text:
“Hilda, would you join me for tea later?” She’s helping move in more food supplies for the war effort by the kitchen with Leonie when Byleth sweeps by. (Well it’s more of Hilda’s asking Leonie to shift stuff around while Hilda marks stuff on paper, but it’s more efficient this way). They’re holding a couple large rolls of weathered paper under one arm and a stack of books in the other - Leonie offers to help, but Byleth shakes their head.
“Oh, of course professor!” Her reply is sugar sweet. “Around what time? It’s my turn this week to help clean the stables later, but if you really need me…” Byleth’s expression doesn’t change but their eyes dance with amusement - they’re too keen on Hilda’s antics to fall for it, but at least they’re charmed. “I wouldn’t want to impose. I’m sure I can wait until after you’re finished. Just come find me when you’re done. I’ll be in the war room.”
She lets out a mock gasp, “But professor, I feel like we haven’t spent time together in ages. You know how could spend hours in your room eating sweets and just… talking with you.”
The eyeroll the professor gives her is fond, but their voice is stern. “Then you can wait a few more hours before we grab tea. The horse stalls better be spotless when I check on them tomorrow then.” With that, Byleth makes her way past them in the courtyard and calls over their shoulder. “I’ll have the good stuff, don’t worry.”
Leonie whistles, placing the last of the boxes down. “Laying it on a bit thick there, aren’t you Hilda?”
She blinks innocently back at Leonie “Whatever do you mean?”
“I know you usually drown people in compliments to get your way, but even I thought you might be flirting with the professor.”
It’s Hilda’s turn to rolls her eyes. “Oh Leonie, one does not simply flirt with the professor. I love them dearly, but they are denser than a bag of rocks when it comes to romance.”
“How so?”
Hilda scoffs “Are you serious? Maybe you’re as dense as the professor is.” She patently ignores the look that Leonie gives her. “You should see the eyes that Mercie gives the professor to their face, and professor clearly doesn’t even think twice about it. Ignatz is painting the most awe-inspiring sappy portrait I’ve ever seen, and I don’t think the professor sees anything weird about that either. And let’s not get started on Ashe. That boy is smittened. The puppy dog eyes he gives them are incredible.”
“So where do you come in on all of this? Not pining after the professor like the rest of us?” Hilda notices the way Leonie is blushing slightly and files that away for later blackmail.
“Oh please, of course I would get with the professor if they ever showed any interest. At least just to rub it in everyone else’s face. But mainly it’s fun to see how far I can get without them doing anything about it. No, no one doesn’t care as well as the professor does” She sighs dramatically. “What I wouldn’t GIVE to get my way with them even ONCE.”
Leonie laughs, taking the sheet of paper from Hilda. “Sounds like it will be a long time coming. I’ve got the rest of this - if you’re so eager to see the professor, you’d best get started with the stables. I think it’s you and Marianne right? I know you won’t make her do all the work for you”
Hilda sighs - she’s right, she won’t. The truth is, she’d been almost looking forward to working with Marianne. Well, not the working part obviously, but the part where she got to spend time with her. Everything’s just so…. Easy around her. Of course that doesn’t include the doing actual work stuff - Hilda usually finds when they’re assigned together she’s always doing most of the work. But even when Marianne doesn’t have something to say, she’s always listening. When she smiles, it feels like the room gets a little brighter and it’s… nice.
She has some ideas why that might be, but the more she thinks about it, the scarier it seems so… she’s just not going to. Simple mind over matter. Package that away, do not open at least until the war’s over. “Yeah yeah. I’ll see you later.” She waves goodbye to Leonie and heads out to find Marianne. So what if there’s a bit of a skip in her step? She’d never tell.
--
She’s in a good mood as she makes her way up the stairs. It’d gone quicker than expected, and Marianne had laughed at one of two of the jokes that Hilda had made, despite them not being some of her best work. She’s used to being more effortlessly charming, but Marianne seems to be mainly immune to that. It’s both frustrating and refreshing.
There’d also been a moment where some leaves had blown into Marianne’s hair. “Here, let me get those for you.” The taller girl obliges, leaning her head slightly to give Hilda better access. “T-thanks.” It takes a few waves of Hilda’s hands to get them out, but when she looks at Marianne’s face, she notices just how close they are and how long Marianne's eyelashes are and her brain kind of just…. winks off.
The moment lasts until Marianne turns away embarrassed. “Sorry about that” Hilda’s quick to fill the silence. “Lost in thought. Anyways, about that necklace I was making….” the rest of the time passes peacefully, except for maybe the way Marianne keeps glancing at her nervously. But again - that’s being filed away for future Hilda to deal with. Current Hilda is on a mission.
She’s at the bend in the hallway when she hears low voices coming from the war room. “Aw, did someone beat me to tea time with the professor?” She’d been really looking forward to some of the sweets the professor had stashed away…
Hilda stops close to the open doorway and peaks through. The professor’s sitting in their usual spot, the papers a book fanned around them. Claude’s right there next to them, one hand gripping the back of Byleth’s chair and the other hand pointing at the paper that’s currently in front of them. His head’s dipped close to Byleth’s as he explains what she imagines to be one of his schemes. The professor chewing pensively on the end of a quill (Which, gross, you don’t know where that thing’s been professor), occasionally interjecting with their own thoughts here and there.
Then Claude says something that makes the professor’s whole face light up into a surprised laugh. Byleth doesn’t catch the look that Claude gives her but Hilda does. It’s a rare genuine smile from Claude von Riegan, and as always, it’s directed straight at their dear old professor.
Claude’s not as hard to read as he thinks he his, she thinks absent-mindedly, leaning against the door. While it’s true that half of the professor’s old students have a crush on them, none of those crushes shine as deep as Claude’s does. She catches him staring at the professor sometimes, when he thinks no one’s paying attention. He always looks so affectionate, even at Byleth’s worst (She remembers one time where Byleth chased a cat around the entire monastery for about an hour for stealing a platinum fish and Claude alternated between hysterical laughter and a look of absolute fondness when the professor would run past muttering curses under their breath. The guy’s got it real bad.) The man really does go above and beyond to see even a glimmer of joy cross Byleth’s features. It’d be nauseating if she didn’t care about Claude as much as she does.
She’s seen enough though, and she really wants those stashed eclairs so she coughs loudly and knocks on the door. “Oh professor~” Immediately she hears a scrape of the chair, a soft whump and a “what the-” Hilda walks through the door to find a confused Claude standing next to an empty chair. “Hello! Hilda!” a voice comes from under the table. Byleth’s head pops up, their hair even more frazzled than it was this morning.
“What are you… doing down there?” Hilda looks briefly at Claude, who shrugs helplessly.
“Just dropped my quill. You surprised me.” It’s a bad lie, and Hilda’s eyes narrow. The wheels turn in her head. “We’ll have to finish this another time, Claude. I promised Hilda some tea.”
“Of course. Hilda, don’t eat teach out of house and home. I know how you get with those chocolate sweets that teach smuggles in from the kitchens” Usually Hilda would pout, but she catches the look on Byleth’s face and it strikes her like lightning.
The professor likes him back - it's not even one of Claude’s good lines and here Byleth is, smiling back (slightly, but that is a FEAT in and of itself) like they actually find him charming. It feels like she’s stumbled upon a bona fide treasure trove. She goes back, cataloging their interactions. Byleth is usually close to Claude when he’s on the battlefield, the tea they usually brew at the war table is either the Almyran Pine Needles or Chamomile, both of which are Claude’s favorites.
And actually, probably the biggest revelation of them all, when Byleth smiles, she realizes, it’s usually at Claude.
Byleth is haphazardly cleaning up their papers, so they don’t notice Hilda’s lack of response, but Claude definitely does. He’s squinting at her like he knows she’s thinking something devious. She bats her eyes at him in mock sweetness, which of course only serves to make him more suspicious.
“Need help professor? I’ll take some of those papers for you.” The professor looks surprised, but doesn’t say no as Hilda takes the papers from one arm. She links her arm with the professor’s free arm now, and gives Claude another look. How must you feel with me taking away your favorite plaything, hmm? is what she’s thinking, and it must translate pretty well because suddenly Claude is looking anywhere but back at Hilda. Men are so easy.
“Bye ya Claude! I’ll return the professor once I’m done with them” She leans into the the professor a little and throws in the line just because. The professor, oblivious as always, nods and begins asking Hilda about her latest jewelry creation (She’s always surprised by how much the professor is able to remember about everyone’s interests) , and Hilda’s able to give Claude a parting eyebrow waggle before answering. His eyebrows raise in response, but he’s got enough restraint not to say anything. No matter. She’ll pry some information out of the professor first.
--
They’re on their second cup of tea when Hilda decides to broach the subject. “So professor. You and Claude.” Byleth drops the entire spoon of sugar they were lightly sprinkling into their tea into their cup. Other than that though, Byleth’s expression doesn’t change. “Yes?”
“Oh, nothing.” Hilda takes a dainty sip of tea. The professor really does brew the best Rose Petal Tea other than Lorenz. “I was just… curious what you thought of our fearless leader. He’s clearly fond of you.”
“No more than the rest of the golden deer.” Byleth’s reply is even, which Hilda can’t help but let out a very unladylike snort at.
“Uh huh.” She may as well have a bit of fun. “So, that time when I caught the two of you staying up late looking up at the stars. That wasn’t romantic at all.”
Color enters the professor’s cheeks. “No.” Oh, so Byleth can blush! What an absolute treat this is turning about to be.
“Uh huh… or that time he surprised you with that basket of that ginger tea from Derdriu that you love so much. No sparks.”
The professor is a cool deep pink. “No.”
“Uh huuuuuh…. And what about-”
“Hilda.” Byleth’s expression is stone faced, but their face is cherry red. “It’s not like that.”
Oh, so that’s how they’re going to play it. “Professor,” Hilda sets her tea cup down. “I know you grew up in the woods like some feral child but this is ridiculous.” Byleth’s eyebrows raise at that, but their blush seems to be fading slightly. “I’m fine with you pretending half of Garreg Mach isn’t trying to woo you, but Claude is being extremely obvious here.”
“We’re friends, Hilda. ” It’s a tone the professor hasn’t used with Hilda since the academy - serious and not looking for an argument. The two steep in silence for a bit as Byleth takes a long sip of their (definitely overly sweetened) tea. It’s one of those moments where Hilda admires how straight of face Byleth can keep. “Let’s talk about something else.”
She sighs, but lets the subject drop for now. “Sure, professor.” The route wasn’t a total bust, but she definitely hit a dead end. But, she’s good at being, how did someone put it once - “a nosy insufferable bitch”, so she’s got other paths to pursue and cards to play before she’s out for the fight.
--
Claude’s door is open a crack when she passes by later that night, so she figures she may as well pounce now. “Hey Claude.”
“Hilda.” His room, like their days back in the academy, is still a mess of books and papers. “What brings you to my room so late? Need some company?” She rolls her eyes at the wink he gives her.
“You know why I’m here” “Nope.” he pops the p at the end, eyes returning to whatever letter he was writing “Can’t imagine why.”
Hilda sighs in frustration. Direct approach it is. “I know forcing you do anything is like herding cats. But come on. Throw the professor a bone here. They’re never going to figure it out if you don’t say anything.”
Claude does what he does best, and avoids the question. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“You’re definitely not cute enough to play dumb.” She gets a chuckle out of that, but he’s definitely still not engaging. “Oh, that’s not true. I’ve been told I’m very cute.”
Goddess, she hates it when he’s like this. “Look, It’s patently obvious that you like the professor. And I’m pretty positive they like you back. So do something about it before one of the other students swoops in and steals them from you.”
“Is that so.” Claude quill’s stills on the page. “I wasn’t aware that teach was anyone’s to steal” Hilda raises her eyebrows at the pensive look that flashes across his face when he says that. He recovers quickly though, finally turning to give his full attention to Hilda. The smile on his face though, means he’s going to continue being a little shit.
“Enough about me. Should we talk about you and Marianne?”
She feels her face flush. Has she really been that easy to read? And she gives everyone else a hard time. “That’s - there’s nothing to talk about.”
He gives her one of those bona-fide smug smiles that make her want to cleave his head off his shoulders.“Ah, I see. Then I suppose there’s nothing to talk about here, either. Good night, Hilda.” With that, Claude shoos her out of the room and clicks the door shut behind her. She doesn’t give him the dignity of a furious scream until she’s safely back in her room. And only then it’s into her pillow.
--
“The professor didn’t believe you?” It’s a day later and Hilda’s resting her head in Marianne’s lap as they rest in the courtyard lawn after she’s finished being forced into library cleaning with Seteth (Working with Seteth usually involves just one word: Yikes. The man has not one weakness she can exploit) She’s running her fingers through Hilda’s pink hair absentmindedly and it's making her heart do weird things.
“Nope! Didn’t even entertain the idea! And don’t get me started about what Claude said. I swear.”
Marianne’s hand pauses mid brush. “Maybe it’s not as obvious as you say.” She can’t help but scoff at that. Sitting up, she scans soldiers and former classmates walking by and focuses on one face.
“Hey Sylvain!”
He runs over with a dopey fake smile on his face “You called?”
“What do you think of our fearless leader and the professor?”
Sylvain makes a thinking face. “Hmm… you mean as people or the fact that he’s been making eyes at them for the past couple moons?”
“Well, it is Sylvain… maybe it’s not as obvious to-” Hilda pounces on another victim before Marianne can finish that thought. “Hey Bernadetta!”
The girl screams “W-What do you w-want Hilda? Did I do something wrong?”
She feels slightly bad now, but Hilda’s got a point to prove. “No no, I’m just wondering. Claude and the professor. What do you think?”
Bernadetta frowns, but answers. “I think they’re um… the professor is fond of him. Whenever they come over tea, the professor gets this faraway look in their eyes when they talk about him.” It’s a well thought answer that takes even Hilda by surprise. It must show on her face because immediately Bernadetta doubles down with apologises “But that’s just my opinion! I don’t really know anything I don’t really pay attention and - ”
“The recluse, Marianne. Even the girl who doesn’t leave her room has this figured out.” She turns back to Bernadetta briefly “Thank you Bernie. You may go.” Bernadetta’s already sprinting across the courtyard as Hilda flops back down into Marianne’s lap “You see what I’m dealing with here? Everyone knows. EVERYONE! But the two of them apparently.”
Marianne looks pained. “That does sound… frustrating.”
“You have no idea.”
Sylvain interjects “I could talk with Claude, give him a few tips on how to win the object of his desires?” Hilda sighs dramatically. Oh right, he was still here.
“No Sylvain. That’s all I needed you for. I’m sure I saw Felix stalk by a couple minutes ago cursing your name”
“Eh, just a regular Tuesday.” He’s off with a smile and Hilda rolls her eyes. There’s flirting and foreplay and then there’s whatever the hell those two do.
“Maybe they’re just… scared.” Hilda looks up - Marianne’s looking at her, eyes turned down with worry. “The war…. It’s still going on. Anything can happen.”
Impulsively, Hilda reaches up to cup Marianne’s face in her right hand. “Hey”. She blinks in surprise but doesn’t say anything or move away. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” She can feel Marianne’s face flush under her palm. She’s usually not one for expectations, but for Marianne, she realizes, she’d do anything. “Right. Right.” The smile Marianne gives her is radiant and oh no. Maybe Hilda can’t wait until the end of the war to figure her own shit out.
“I know you will, Hilda.” Marianne repeats, looking away and up at the blue sky. “But there’s still a war” It’s true, it’s true. She closes her eyes and lets herself drift a bit. They’ll be marching out to Imperial territory soon - there won’t be many days like this in their future. “I… I do think It would be nice. If they could be happy together.” Hilda hums in agreement, letting the afternoon drift into evening. It’s a thought for tomorrow - today, she muses, should be for this.
--
The war goes on - they capture the Bridge of Myrddin and triumph at Gronder Field. The monastery air is a bit heavier after Gronder, after news of Dimitri’s death. It definitely takes its toll on morale, but the professor is there doing double duty, especially with the former kingdom subjects that have joined their cause. She catches the professor sitting in the stables with Ingrid, a comforting hand on her shoulder as Ingrid stares blankly into the dirt, or Felix leaving the professor’s room smelling of tea.
It’s honestly exhausting watching the professor flit about the monastery on most days. The only time she ever catches them sitting still is when she’s at tea, or fishing at the lake. And even then they’re usually conversing with someone - usually Alois or Bernadetta, but almost everyone takes time to just sit and talk with the professor.
Hard to knock them though when she’s right there with them - they always get at least one meal together every couple of days with a rotating cast of characters. Hilda does most of the talking, but absently flirting with the professor has turned into of her favorite past times. She’s even gotten a prized laugh out of them after one particularly rowdy dinner with Caspar - something she held over everyone’s head for at least a week.
“Oh please.” Lorenz scoffs, “It is really not that big of an accomplishment anymore, Hilda. The professor has been spotted laughing at least every other day now. ”
“Now now, you two” Claude interjects from the other side of the war table where he’s shuffling some missives. “I’m sure Hilda’s joke was very funny, Lorenz. She can’t help it if you have to work twice as hard to be as charming.” He winks at Hilda and Lorenz scoffs.
“Yes, Hilda clearly has the most charm out of all of us. But I consider myself a much better dining partner and conversationalist than at least you, Claude”
Hilda waggles her eyebrows “I’m sure the professor would beg to differ. Claude has to be their favorite student.”
“No, I’m pretty sure that’s Marianne or Bernadetta. They’re practically doted on.”
Lorenz concedes that point easily. “Well, you can not blame the professor for that.” Claude nods gravely. “Certainly none of us can compete with those doe eyes.”
A thought passes that she doesn’t voice - it’s nice. Even though there’s still a war and the war is terrible, it's nice to have friends again, to bicker and tease each other like this. The five years spent between the Empire’s invasion of Garreg Mach and the Millenium festival had done it’s best to drive them apart. Of course she still spoke to most of the others in letters, or whenever they’d stopped in Goneril territory, but there was something about being back together again that made her feel… wanted? Needed? It was hard to say.
It’d seemed like a small miracle that they’d all shown up at the Millenium festival to begin with. Or maybe it hadn’t. It was probably it for most of them - their last hope that the professor would return, that somehow they could make everything better. Maybe all of them except Claude - his belief had never wavered, not in the half decade they’d spent without them.
(She wonders fleetingly, since when had Claude been like this towards the professor? It can’t have been since their days at the academy, could it? It all lines up though, and her heart twists for him. Five years - it must have felt like an eternity.)
Without the war, without the entire Golden Deer class showing up at Garreg mach all those months ago, who’s to say she’d have realized what she felt for Marianne was anything more than friendship? Marianne would probably have been married off already if her adopted father had anything to say about it. But then, without the war, how many lives would not have been ripped apart? It turns into a weird game of checks and balances in her mind and she’s not quite sure she likes where it goes.
Claude’s voice shakes her out of her thoughts “Hilda would have something to say about one particular set of doe eyes.”
Lorenz’s eyebrows raise. “Oh would she? Pray tell.”
Hilda feels her face heat, but tries to play it cool. “I’m not sure what you mean. But I do agree that Marianne is pretty charming when she wants to be.”
“Ah, I see. You are right Claude, she is indeed not very subtle about it.” The glare she shoots Lorenz would usually be enough for him to wilt, but he’s pointedly ignoring her as Claude cackles in the background.
She takes it all back, at least friendship with these chuckleheads is overrated.
--
She’s making her way to the professor’s room to give them some papers Seteth had cornered her into delivering, when she spots Claude already waiting, his own sheafs of paper in hand.
“Sorry Hilda, looks like you’ll have to wait.” He gestures towards the door. “I already tried going in, but Teach is talking to Marianne right now and the look they gave was pretty murderous.”
That sounds…. Oddly serious. Hilda knows that Marianne is particularly close to the professor - The professor seemed to go out of their way to make her comfortable and listen to what she had to say even when they were students, and even now Marianne still looks to the professor for guidance and comfort.
She ignores Claude and opens the door anyways - at first it doesn’t look untowards, there’s a couple biscuits on the table, the tea still steaming from their cups. But the professor is smiling at Marianne, their hand on top of hers and Marianne’s blushing a deep red and suddenly it hits her like a ton of bricks that Marianne could be one of those girls pining after the professor too . And the professor -
“Hilda” Byleth’s surprised greeting brings her heart rate down a bit. Of course - this is the professor we’re talking about here. The professor wouldn’t know if that’s what was going on at all. But it’s still absolutely crushing to think that despite everything, the girl she cares for (loves? Fuck) probably doesn’t feel the same way. Marianne’s looking at her wide eyed, and possibly even redder and her heart sinks even lower.
“Seteth told me to give you these.” She knows that she doesn’t sound as chipper as usual but Hilda wants to extradite herself from this terrible situation and run to the dining halls and eat her weight in Peach Sorbet. She leaves them on the professor’s desk and turns to leave.
She hears Marianne call her name but she’s determinedly not going to respond. Out of the corner of the eye she catches the look that Claude gives her - it feels a bit like sympathy and she wants to strangle him on the spot.
Stupid professor, stupid Claude, stupid war, stupid stupid stupid her.
--
Despite everything, Hilda can’t help but watch Claude and the professor orbit each other, alternating between pity and annoyance. Though it’s more annoyance for Claude and pity for the professor.
The more she sees them interact, the more clear it becomes that Byleth is just completely unable to process most human emotions, let alone the thought of actual romance. (“Professor, What are you doing?” “Alois said something nice to me.” “Why does that…. Involve you laying in the middle of the courtyard.” “Because it was between that and bursting into tears” “Professor that… that can’t be healthy. “Yes.”) Claude though, has no excuse as far as she’s aware. If anything he’s even more forward and touchy than he’d been before Hilda had pointed anything out. He always seems to be standing next to them, or coming by to talk when they’re not busy.
She’d even caught the professor helping him tie his cravat. It’d taken them a couple tries, (“You’ve almost got it teach. But you’re twisting just one two many times at the end.” he laughs at Byleth’s frustration
“I don’t understand why I need to know this.”
“Hey you never know. I could be incapacitated and need you to make me look presentable.”
The professor stares back skeptically. “Claude, if that happens I think we’ll have other things to worry about.”
“Nothing is more important than the appearance of house Riegan, my friend.”
“I cannot believe you said that with a straight face.”), and in the end it was still a little lop-sided, but he wore it proudly for the rest of the day, despite Lorenz’s protests and her making a face of disgust everytime she caught him looking pleased with himself about it.
It’s not like she’s really one to talk. She’s gone full blown pining for Marianne. While Hilda spends as much time as she did with Marianne before, but their interactions are now tinged with this awkward knowledge that the other girl just does not care for Hilda in the same way. She knows Marianne’s noticed something’s changed - she constantly looks like she’s got something at the tip of her tongue, but she always changes her mind at the last minute. She’s not sure if she wants to hear what it is.
It doesn’t help that Marianne’s been at the professor’s side almost as much as Claude has after that… embarrassing incident. She’s either helping leaf through papers, having tea, sometimes she’s even sitting out with the professor as they fish and it’s driving her mad. The professor makes Marianne look so comfortable when they’re together. She can’t compete with that - she could never meet the expectations the professor has set as a friend, let alone a partner. Hilda’s not proud to admit, but she’s kiiiind of been taking out her frustration on them.
Byleth had asked her to a meal and tea a couple times in the past week and she’s been evasive and snappy. “I’m busy, professor. Could you ask someone else?” The professor’s look of surprise had her feeling guilty almost instantaneously, but they’d shrugged and went on their way. Hilda’s perfectly aware she’s being unreasonable but it’s… hard to be around the professor sometimes. Especially when it feels like they’re a reflection of all her inadequacies.
Maybe if Claude said something, and the professor was unavailable, Marianne would look at me that way. it’s a thought she thinks often but shoos away before it can really take root. She teases him fairly mercilessly as it is, and the man continues to be as stubborn as a mule. Any hopes of that happening is about as likely as the war ending in three months.
“Something on your mind, Hilda? That’s the fifth sigh you’ve let out in the last couple of minutes” Her and Leoine are back on supply duty and Hilda’s staring dolefully across the dining hall where Marianne, Lysithea and Annette are discussing at some tactics book (it’s more like Marianne adds her two cents every few minutes with Annette and Lysithea argue loudly, but Marianne seems to be enjoying herself nonetheless. The slight smile she gives the two when she points out something they hadn’t thought of making. Hilda want to scream, it’s so cute.)
“Have you ever been in love, Leonie?” It’s definitely not what the other girl is expecting, because Hilda hears a sharp intake of breath and then a sharp bang “owowowow” Leonie’s knee is scrapped from where she knocked into the box she’d just put down. “Give a girl some warning before you throw out a hard hitting question like that”
“Sorry, sorry! Here” Hilda gestures towards the box. “Sit down and let me bandage that up.” Leonie nods gratefully, extending her legs for Hilda to take a look. “It’ll bruise, but I don’t think it’ll be anything bad.”
Leonie grumbles “Still smarts”, but stays silent as Hilda digs through her bag to pull out a handkerchief and roll of bandages, only speaking again when Hilda’s nearly done “I’ve never…. Been in love if that’s what your asking.”
“Lucky you” Hilda grouses. “It’s terrible.” When Leonie laughs, Hilda tightens the bandage a little more than necessary.
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop teasing you about it. Is it Marianne? You’ve been drilling holes in the back of her head all morning.” Hilda wilts a bit - is it really so obvious that even Leonie could figure it out? Maybe it’s time to save face and leave the monastery in disgrace. Her brother wouldn’t mind if she hid out at Fodlan’s Locket for a couple months, would he?
As if reading Hilda’s thoughts Leonie laughs and shakes her head. “Don’t worry, I don’t think it’s too obvious. You’ve been off is all.”
“That’s true…” She looks around to see if anyone’s listening. “I just… remember what I was saying about the professor?”
“And them being oblivious to romance…?” Leonie tilts her head to the side. “What’s that got to do with it?” Hilda gives her a blank look and it only takes a few additional seconds for her to figure it out. “Oh you mean to say-”
“I don’t know… I think so?” She takes a seat next to Leonie, their current work forgotten. “I get the feeling that there’s something that Marianne’s keeping from me, and ever since that tea time with the professor, it’s been…. Weird.”
Leonie puts her on the shoulder both awkwardly and comfortingly. “I know I don’t know Marianne as well as you do, but I know she must treasure your friendship. I also think if it’s bothering you, you should just ask.” It’s practical advice, one that’s pretty obvious to expect from Leonie, but still…
If she really thinks about it, even if Marianne doesn’t like the professor that way, even if Marianne likes her back - Relationships come with expectation. And the more she’s forced to examine herself, she’s not sure she can meet them. She’s not sure she can be what Marianne wants, or maybe needs.
Hilda’s about to respond when suddenly the general hub bub of the dining hall is ruined by the professor carrying both Sylvain and Felix into the room under each arm like a large loaf of bread. Felix is thrashing wildly and cursing a mile a minute and Sylvain? He’s looking like this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
They drop the two on the table with a resounding thud. “Now stop training and get something to eat already.”
Felix is shaking in anger and refuses to look at the professor, though Sylvain’s eyes are aglow “Professor, that was amazing! Though maybe next time, we can leave Felix out. Do some one on one” (Like it wasn’t his idea to have the professor force Felix out of the training grounds. Hilda rolls her eyes. That’s Sylvain, a man of theatrics)
Byleth considers, “Oh, like a princess carry?”
“I’d love to ride you like that into battle, professor.” He winks and Felix faux retches.
The professor, bless their dumb head, actually blinks back at him “I don’t think that would be very useful, Sylvain. How would I wield a sword?”
Felix finally speaks, head in his hands “Please someone kill me.”
Leonie and Hilda exchange a look, “Did they really...”
“Oh yeah” The two turn to see Claude watching, leaning against the wall closest to them. “It was hilarious. Teach was practically sprinting around the grounds with Felix and Sylvain screaming under each arm. I’d pay good money to see that again.”
It’s the perfect set up for Hilda and she takes it “Better yet, I could pay the professor to carry you around the monastery.”
“You could, but I don’t think it’d be as amusing. Now Raphael on the other hand…” The two of them bicker good naturedly for a bit, with Leonie adding her two cents every once in awhile. It’s nice - Claude’s been especially busy lately with whatever scheme he’s been plotting for Fort Merceus. And even though they rarely talk about their own feelings when they’re together, (Not without lack of trying! She tries to be enigmatic and alluring but she’s not completely heartless. Claude’s been stonewalling her since she brought up the whole “Do you have feelings for the professor or not” thing. ) no one quite gets her mind off of things like Claude.
She’s distracted enough that she doesn’t notice that the professor has moved until Lysithea and Annette are crowing about something that the professor has pointed out. The professor looks at ease, their elbow resting on the table and their face pulled close to Marianne’s. They’re whispering about something - Marianne’s clearly nervous from the way she fidgets with her sleeves, and the professor. Well, Byleth is looking triumphant about something - it makes her stomach flop uneasily.
“They’ve been closer than usual, huh.” Claude’s voice is even, but Hilda’s been around him long enough to know what it really means.
“You’ve noticed.” They share another glance - something between regret and jealousy stirs.
Leonie looks between the two of them, then back over at Byleth and Marianne and grins. “Oh, I see.” She gets up from her seat and stretches. “I may not know anything about love, but I do know you’re both idiots.” She’s half way across the room calling out to them before either of the two can respond. “Hey Marianne, Professor? You want to get tea with me? I could use a break and I’m hankering for some of those cookies you talked Mercedes into making a couple days ago.” The professor appears surprised, but not unhappy as they turn to ask Marianne a question. At Marianne’s nod, the two say their goodbyes to Lysithea and Annette and follow Leonie out the door.
Leonie though, is not quite done. She slows to their pace and wraps her arms around both their shoulders. When she ducks their heads closer, she says something that causes the professor to throw back their head in a loud laugh that startles even the soldiers walking by. Marianne’s laughing too, though she’s covering her mouth with her other hand to make it look like she isn’t.
The look Leonie gives the two of them afterwards as they duck out of sight could rival Claude’s at his best. While Hilda’s feeling all sorts of frustrated, the mildly impressed look on Claude’s face definitely tips it over to full on mad. “Congratulations Claude. I nominate you to help me move all these boxes.”
“No no, I have important…. Schemes to be doing.” He’s got a couple step head start on Hilda, but it’s not enough for him to avoid being grabbed by the collar. “Okay okay, I’ll help! I miss the Hilda that would try and butter me up with compliments before forcing me to do the hard work.”
“Give me a couple minutes, I’m sure I’ll think of something syrupy sweet” It takes her only a full minute, but they both know her heart’s not really in it.
--
It’s the last full week of the Garland Moon - Byleth has taken a group out to get rid of some bandits plaguing the towns close to Garreg Mach. Hilda’s patiently (or not so patiently) waiting for Marianne to return at the gates - she has some dinner saved and Marianne’s favorite tea ready in her room. Ignatz, sweetheart that he is, is keeping her company as she waits. He paints the sunset, and she watches, throwing in some casual compliments or observations every once in awhile.
“Waiting for someone?” Usually she’d be able to smile through Claude’s teasing, but the group is an hour late and she’s getting antsy. Her reply comes off a bit cattier than she expected, but she's not going to apologize for it. “I could ask the same for you.”
He shrugs effusively - “Maybe I’m just taking a stroll through the monastery before nightfall. You do get such beautiful sunset views at the gate.”
Hilda rolls her eyes, but doesn’t give him the luxury of a response. Play coy for all she cares. She’s got other things to worry about. Like the rapid hoof beats approaching. They’re coming in fast, and it sounds like there’s only a couple - strange considering the professor left with a party of around eight. “Do you hear -“
“Someone get Manuela and the other healers!” Marianne’s frantic voice breaks through the stillness. Hilda and Claude share a look of alarm as Ignatz drops his brush and races through the monastery, already on his way to rouse the nurse. The front gates open and a panting Leonie and Marianne burst through on their horses, a human figure’s arms wrapped around Leonie’s waist. As they get closer, she realizes is the professor, and they look ... terrible.
“What happened?” Claude is the first to speak up, his eyes never leaving Byleth. Hilda can see them shaking, their breaths coming out ragged as they press into Leonie for any sense of stability.
Leonie’s replies are segmented as she fights to retain control of her breathing. “We chased the bandits too far... and Imperial scouts ambushed us.” She takes a deep breath before continuing “The professor… they jumped in between Cyril and two of their knights. Marianne and I rode ahead, but it’s...”
They’re all startled when Byleth jumps (falls?) off Leonie’s horse. Now that they’re not leaning on someone, Hilda can see a gaping holes through their armor, one just down of their right shoulder, and the other through their left gut. Tracks of drying and dried blood are staining the entire front of their outfit and Byleth is panting wetly, wiping what seems to be more blood from their mouth. “‘I’m fine. I’ll be…” They stagger forward before tipping to the side and right into Claude, who has appeared at the professor side like a shot.
“oh my friend, what did you do?”
“It’s… fine.” they gasp, trying to push Claude away, but his stance is firm. “M not… it’s not…” they grit their teeth, “Fuck.” It's like saying that word sapped the rest of their strength because they totter back over into Claude’s chest. He scoops them up in his arms, and despite the professor’s weak protests, they don’t try and move away.
“Leonie, rally the Knights and make sure everyone else has made back okay. Marianne, tell me what you know” He’s already making his way up the first set of stairs as Marianne follows. She’s struggling to keep up with his pace, but talking furiously, and Hilda feels her feet move to follow behind them. Marianne had stabilized them the best they could with what magic she had left, but the lance it her gut had gone clean through. It’s where most of the blood loss was from and she couldn’t do much about it by the time she’d got to them. There’s a bit of a wobble in her voice, like she’s on the verge of tears - it makes Hilda want to reach out and hold her close.
Byleth interrupts as Hilda knows Marianne is going to go into some more self-depreciation. “It’s not…. It’s not your f-fault.” They shiver slightly, but press on. “Y-you were… I’m the o-one who wasn’t good ennnn” the professor covers their mouth as they cough, and Hilda can see the red stain leak through the gaps in their fingers.
“Don’t talk” Claude and Hilda say it at the same time, earning a huff of air from Byleth “sure.” Their eyelids start to droop Manuela and Ignatz meet them at the foot of the stairs up to the infirmary.
“Oh goddess, they looks terrible.” Manuela breathes as they continue up the stairs, “What were doing out there, Professor?”
Hilda cannot believe that Byleth is still talking, but the professor is nothing if not one surprise after another “S-s-s-saving lives”. Then the professor takes a deep shuddering breath and their eyes close. Hilda’s not trained in this heavy duty of first aid, but even she knows that’s not a good look.
“No no no no, Teach, come on.” She’s never heard Claude sound so desperate before. “Stay awake.”
“I’m… it’s hard…”
“Byleth.” She hears him plea, but their head lolls back into his chest. The professor doesn’t say anything else.
--
It’s later, and Hilda and Marianne are sitting outside of the infirmary. Half of the monastery had shown up to gawk before Linhardt had stuck his head out and yelled “They’re not going to get any better with you standing out here! Go to sleep, you animals!” When Hilda and Marianne had stayed, he’d shot them an annoyed look, but closed the door.
Marianne’s visibly shaking, her hands clasped in prayer, and all Hilda can do is wrap a comforting arm around her shoulder and look worried. It sucks immensely. “They almost died in my arms, Hilda.” her voice is quiet, but it feels loud in the stillness of the night. “I was doing what I could, to heal the wounds, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t.”
She unclasps her hands and the Hilda sees the tears start rolling down her face.“ They were the one comforting me. They were bleeding and broken and all they could think of was... ” Hilda squeezes her close and the taller girl sobs into her shoulder. They’d gotten lucky, she guesses - there had been some bad injuries with their core group over the course of this war, but none as bad as she’d seen tonight. Because of the professor and Claude, his schemes, their execution, and somehow it’s worked out.
(In hindsight, she think back and notices how haggard the professor always looked after those battles where one of the others had had a close calls. Is this what the professor thinks about at the end of the battle? Their broken bodies and their worried allies? Responsibility has always been the worst, but war means every bad decision has a body count. How do the professor and Claude even do it?)
Marianne’s voice comes back in a dead whisper “Hilda, what if the professor dies? What are we going to do?”
She doesn’t (can’t) even entertain the idea. “The professor isn’t going to die.”
“How do you know?” Marianne looks up at her, and her heart breaks a little more.
“Please,” She tries to keep her voice light, but she can hear her voice wobbling “ the professor took on Edelgard and Dimitri themselves at Gronder and came out barely scratched. If two random guys could take them out, I’d be disappointed.”
It at least gets a little bit a smile from Marianne and she counts that as a win. She’s still crying, but it’s no longer harsh sobs, turning more into gentle hiccups. Hilda holds her through it all, absentmindedly rubbing circles into her shoulder. Truthfully, she kind of wants to cry too. But she’s been wanting to cry for weeks - about the war, about Dimitri, about Marianne. She thinks, though, that if she can be strong for anyone, it’s be Marianne. So strong she stays, even after Manuela and Linhardt inform them that the professor will survive, even after she walks Marianne back to room hand in hand, even when she flops down on her bed.
She falls asleep holding back the tears and wishing things could be different.
--
Hilda stops by the infirmary the next day and finds Claude at the professor’s bedside. The man looks like he hasn’t slept, his usually coiffed hair in disarray and the usual bags under his eyes more pronounced than usual. Once he’d dropped the professor in Maneula’s care, he’d been out like a shot to check on the rest of the group and make sure there weren’t any stragglers, but she knew once he’d touched back down at the monastery, he’d be at their side.
Man of many schemes, of many faces and tricks, but so predictable when it came to Byleth.
She doesn’t say anything, just pulls up another chair and watches the professor at his side. Briefly, she thinks about reaching out to touch him, but she refrains - instead holding her hands together in her lap. Byleth is sleeping soundly, the only hints that their still with them is the slow movement of their chest. Hilda’s not surprised at the professor’s condition, even considering what she’d seen last night. She is surprised when Claude says something directed at her. “You asked me once, why I didn’t say anything.”
“I think it was more than once”
He winces “I guess I was trying to convince myself it wasn’t a big deal. That I’d figure it out once the war was over. That maybe… we’d figure it out together.”
Hilda knows there’s still a lot that Claude isn’t saying - there are always things he’ll leave unsaid. But it may as well be an admission of all the things she’d already knew. Claude lets out a morose laugh. “It seems stupid now doesn’t it?”
Goddess, it is stupid. It hits her like a bolt of lightning. What are they fighting for if not for a better tomorrow? If not for one where they can spend time with the ones they love? But that’s not enough for her anymore, as she watches Byleth’s slow even breathing and a very tired Head of the Alliance watch over their bedside.
I don’t want to wait until tomorrow, she thinks, I want the chance to be loved now. Expectations be damned.
Hilda lets the room sit in silence for a bit longer before she speaks. “It’s not stupid. To be scared.” She gets up - The professor’s doing fine and they don’t need both of them hanging over them like some sort of death omen. “But I think we owe it to both the people we love, and ourselves, to say something while we can.”
Hilda leaves him to think on that.
--
It's early on the second day, and Hilda’s stopping by the infirmary with some flowers from the greenhouse that she’d arranged with Bernadetta’s help. She’s fiddling with the flowers in her hand and doesn’t notice the slight movement in the room until she’s at its doorway.
“Hilda.” She drops the bouquet when she hears it. Looking up, and it’s Byleth, staring back at her, sitting up serenely. The shades have been pushed to the side to let the morning light in, and one of the professor’s hands rest on the window.
“Professor!” She sputters, flowers forgotten at her feet. She hadn’t expected to be the first one to see the professor awake, Where is Manuela, actually, where is Claude? “I’ll get Manuela, she’s-”
Byleth shakes their head “Please, it can wait.”
She’s frozen at the doorway “I don’t think it can, professor.” Hilda gulps, and she feels the tears stinging at her eyes. “You nearly died in Marianne’s arms. She was… it was hard.”
Byleth pats the seat next to them. “I’m sorry to put any of you in that position.” it’s the kind of neutral response that would raise her hackles if the professor wasn’t swaddled in blankets in the infirmary.
Hilda lets out a long sigh. Reluctantly, she takes the seat next to the professor’s bedside. “Just… promise you’ll never do anything like that again.” Byleth is looking at her with a soft concerned smile, and it’s doing absolutely nothing for her fragile state of emotions.
“You know I can’t promise that, Hilda.”
“I know already! I know.” She feels the tears spilling out now and it would be embarrassing for anyone other than the professor. Who’s patting her arm comfortingly with a concerned look on their face like she hasn’t been an absolute troll to them the past couple weeks, or that they were literally on the verge of death no more than 48 hours ago. Everything’s so terrible and it makes her cry even more and gross, her make-up is definitely running now.
Byleth offers their shoulder, and Hilda leans into them.They’re running a hand through their hair now, and Hilda focuses on that to calm down. The minutes pass and Hilda’s sobs turn softer and softer until she’s just sniffling awkwardly.
It’s the professor who breaks the silence first. “She cares for you a great deal”
“What, Marianne?” Hilda can’t help but let out a strangled laugh, wiping furiously at her face. It felt good to finally cry after so long, but if her nose started running this would go from heart-warming to embarassing real fast. “You nearly died and you want to talk about my love life?”
“Better now than never right?” Byleth has been spending too much time with Claude she decides, because the mischief in their eyes mirrors his.
“I… I’m going to tell her how I feel. I decided while you were…” Hilda reaches for the right word and comes up a bit short. “Indisposed? Eergh, when I put it like that it sounds like I was going to off you.”
“It paints an amusing picture at least.” It’s the longest Hilda has seen Byleth smile - it’s a good feeling. “And good. Otherwise I’d have had to dredge up all the times Marianne sung your praises, and I know that might kill her from embarrassment.”
This grabs Hilda’s attention more than anything else. She goes for her full on whining voice. “Wait, nu uh, no you don’t. I want to know! Professor!”
Byleth takes one look at Hilda’s pouting face and laughs and laughs and laughs until tears run down their face. She protests feebly but her heart’s not in it. She’s facilitating between embarrassment and disbelief - the professor, the person who spent the first three months of their schooling looking emotionless, who even now is pretty sparse in their emotional range, who is still recovering from a terrible injury, is laughing hysterically.
Hilda doesn’t hear the quick footsteps coming down the hallway until Byleth’s laughter has subsided into a wide grin. “I’ll give you a hint, one of them has to do with your -”
Claude is at the door way, clearly out of breath. Distantly, she wonders how many people heard them. “Teach.”
“Claude.” Their smile is still wide, but now its focused fully on their fearless leader.
He makes his way over to their bedside in a few quick strides “How are you feeling?”
Byleth let’s their smile fade, tilting their head to the side in thought. “Sore?”
“You did just get stabbed repeatedly by a spear.” Hilda remarks, but she knows Claude’s definitely not paying any attention to her right now.
Byleth, though, hums at the thought “Yes, I suppose that would do it.” They rub their right shoulder absentmindedly and wince.
“You scared me, my friend.” His response is quiet, but it feels like it sucks the lightheartedness out of the room.
“I know.” The professor sighs. They pause awkwardly, considering their words before continuing, all business. “You’ll need to tell me how everyone else is doing.”
Hilda takes that as her queue to leave - Claude’s replaced her in her seat as she’s at the door, filling the professor in on all of last nights happenings, the professor leaning back and nodding occasionally. They look at ease - and lucky for him, she’s nice enough to close the door behind her.
--
Hilda catches Marianne the bridge between the cathedral and the rest of the monastery at sunset. It feels like something straight out of one of those trashy romance novels Flayn is always trying to convince them to read, but maybe that will serve to Hilda’s favor.
“Marianne, Could I…”
“Hilda, can we…”
They both stop, and Hilda can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this is. They’re an arms length away, but the air feels heavy with something she can’t describe. “No, no you go first.”
“I… are you sure?” When Hilda nods, Marianne looks at bit more at ease. She takes a long breath, like she’s steeling herself for something. And then she goes.
“I… I spent a long time thinking I was a burden. That I didn’t serve a purpose here.” She continues on before Hilda can say anything in contrary to that. “I don’t feel the same way anymore. I have a lot of people who care about me now, people that I care for in return.”
“The professor helped me through a lot during the academy...they believed in me… convincing me that I wasn’t a burden.” Oh so this is it, she thinks bleakly, Marianne’s letting her down easy. She closes her eyes, bracing herself for the worst.
“But Hilda I… nothing makes me want to live more than you.”
Hilda feels her mouth drop open, and Marianne’s not looking at her. She’s looking at the ground and gripping her dress tightly, like she doesn’t realize that she’s shifted Hilda’s world completely.
“I feel like I can be myself around you. You’re always making me laugh and smile. You’ve always accepted me even when….” Marianne swallows, like she’s trying not to cry. It’s the sweetest thing that Hilda’s ever seen. “Even when it was hard to accept myself.”
“I just… I want to keep fighting with everyone. I want this war to end, and I... “ She finally looks up, and the determination and love in Marianne’s eyes slices through her. It’s everything she could have hoped for.“I want to be with you.”
Marianne finally notices the absolute gobsmacked look on Hilda face and blushes deep scarlet. It’s so precious. “If you’ll have me.”
“If I’ll HAVE you?” She knows she’s laughing, almost hysterically as she breaks the distance between them and pulls them into a hug. Her head fits right in Marianne’s shoulder and it’s perfect, everything’s perfect. “Marianne, I would be the one lucky to…” She shakes her head. Words aren’t enough here, not anymore. Reaching up to cup her face, Hilda sees Marianne gaping back at her, like she can’t believe it’s gone so well. Me neither, she thinks. This is all making her feel giddy and lightheaded.
“Can I kiss you?”
Marianne flushes even more under her hands, but nods, leaning down almost imperceptibly. Hilda closes the rest of the distance
It’s fairly chaste since Hilda knows Marianne would burst into flames in embarrassment if she deepened the kiss out in public, and because she’s pretty sure Marianne’s never kissed anyone, but it’s still the best kiss she’s ever given. She tastes like chamomile and sunlight.
When they break apart, Marianne has a dazed expression on her face - It’s heartbreakingly adorable “Is… that’s a yes right.”
Hilda’s laugh is bright and warm as she squeezes Marianne into another tight hug. Marianne reciprocates this time, wrapping their arms around Hilda’s waist and letting their head fall into her shoulder. “You’ll never get rid of me, Marianne.”
--
The next time the professor notices them holding hands, they abruptly leave whatever conversation they’d been having with Claude and zooms to their side. They stop in front of the two and look them up and down expectantly. Hilda stares back blankly, but Marianne looks away shyly and gives the professor shaky thumbs up.
The fist pump the professor gives is pretty tasteless, even for the feral beast they are, but the way their eyes light up with excitement as they pull them both into a hug is cute enough for Hilda to forgive them for the time being.
“I told you you could do it.” Byleth’s comment is directed at Marianne, and the way Marianne looks even more embarrassed, it sets something off in her head - a puzzle clicking into place.
“Goddess, were you venting to the professor about me ?” The loud guffaw Claude lets out as the professor nods is definitely rude, and Hilda swears she’ll get him back for Marianne’s sake. Especially since the poor thing looks like she’s going to melt into the floor.
But for now, she feels herself grinning ear to ear. “Don’t worry, I think it’s sweet.” She cups Marianne’s face in one hand gives her a quick peck on the mouth. Marianne’s face is still flushed, but the smile she gives her is like the sun.
“Alright teach, let’s leave these two love birds alone.” The professor lets themselves be dragged away by Claude, still looking absolutely too pleased with themselves. Claude looks back to give them her his own eyebrow waggle and mouths get some. By some miracle, Marianne does not notice, else Hilda would have to chase him down and end his life then and there. For now though, as Marianne squeezes Hilda’s hand tighter, she’s got better things to do.
--
The opportunity for revenge comes even sooner than she’d hoped, because Hilda catches a disheveled Claude leaving the professor’s room the morning that they’re going to leave for Enbarr. And sure, his hair looks positively a mess, and he’s got a goofy grin on his face, but it’s the two large hickey’s on his exposed throat that have Hilda on the verge letting out her own maniacal laugh. Good for you, professor.
She doesn’t make herself known as he leaves. She’ll wait for a more opportune moment to embarrass him - not when the empire is breathing down the rest of Fodlan’s neck. It doesn’t stop her from telling Marianne immediately when she reaches her room. Marianne for one, looks ecstatic for a completely different reason. Her eyes are still droopy with sleep, but the smile she gives her is radiant “I’m so glad they have each other.”
Hilda beams back and presses Marianne into her mattress to pepper playful kisses on her face and throat. Marianne’s hand reaches for Hilda’s hair as she giggles. They have to mobilize in less than an hour, the rest of the Alliance forces will be here and ready to put an end to this war once and for all (And all within that three month timetable - who knew?). There will be questions to ask then - about the future of Fodlan, the future of their friends, and even their own future. But this, she thinks, as she looks down at the girl she loves, Marianne’s hair fanned across her pillow, looking back at her with the love and care she’s always hoped, she feels believed in.
“I love you, Hilda” It’s so simple, but it’s everything. “I know.”