Work Text:
It was a fresh start that drew him to Denver. That made him take a custodial job at the Gates planetarium, in a city he barely knew, away from all of the people he held dear in his life. It was a bad breakup after mindless hookup with the same girls and boys he had known since he was a kid. It was the same cycle of poverty and substance abuse that took his dad down. His dad dead before forty five. His mom taking Karen and moving away, to start over. Kevin drifting in and out of jail before deciding he too needed to get out of South Park to get clean. He had been clean for four years, married with twin girls. Kenny was afraid he too would fall into that trap. That he would let the temptation of mediocracy would lead him down a bad path. He watched Stan marry Lola Parker and settle into working on his dad’s pot farm. Kyle moved away before college started, wanting to get out. Eric and Heidi had a shotgun wedding after high school and she was now training to work in medical billing and he drifted from job to job. It was South Park, you never left, you just allowed yourself to drift into the madness
Here he was, emptying trash cans and cleaning bathrooms at the Gates planetarium when he heard a familiar nasal tone. He saw a flash of shiny dark hair and soft tan skin, this flashback to his past that made his heart ache. The one that got away, its such a fucking cliche, something out of the paperback romance novels his mom would read when he was younger. But they say cliches are cliches for a reason. He had loved Craig Tucker for so long. He loved his soft tan skin and his big dark eyes. He loved his crooked smile and his snorting laugh. He loved his smell, how soft his skin was. He could muse about him for hours, He used to talk about him to Stan when they were younger, sneaking cigarettes behind the bleachers and watched the world in high school go by. He would tell Stan how he knew Craig didn’t love him, he loved Tweek. He watched them walking hand in hand through the school hallways. Tweek was taller and broader and wore his hair in a stubby little ponytail. Craig still had this softness to his cheeks and the old fashion metal braces. Tweek was carrying his viola for him and Craig was talking about whatever manga he was reading or space documentary he was watching.
He went to their going away party the summer after graduation. Craig was accepted into Stanford and Tweek wanted to move to California with him. Clyde was blubbering and hugging Craig’s thin frame with his muscular arms. Token bought them a fancy coffee maker for their little one bedroom apartment. Jimmy told jokes, Stan slipped them some good weed. It was a high school party to see off the town’s baby gays.
“I'm really going to miss you Kenny.” Craig was hugging him as Tweek waited in the driver's seat of Craig’s little vw bug for him. The trunk bursting at the seams with the remnants of their old life here. “You’ve been a really good friend to me.” He held him to him a little tighter, if he let him go, he would lose him. He would be gone, states away, starting a life with his boyfriend.
Kenny wasn’t a sentimental person. He wasn’t someone who wore their heart on their sleeve or romanticized their encounters. He knew that in the back of his mind, he had to let Craig go and spread his wings and move on. He would love him the best way he knew how, to be there for him and support the decisions he made.
“I'm going to miss you too Craiggo.” He hugged him tightly, breathing in the his scent. Herby sweet shampoo, shea butter soap and apple fabric softener. When they parted, he watched him get in the car with his boyfriend and drive off to their new life in California. He wanted to say he didn’t pine for him, that he moved on and lived his life to its fullest. That he didn’t lay awake some nights, waiting for Craig’s texts or stalk his instagram and snapchat. That he didn’t imagine that he was laying next to him in that little student apartment in California. That he didn’t greet Craig after his classes and listen to him talk about whatever crazy science he was studying at Stanford. That he didn’t fuck him everynight, Craig moaning and mewling underneath him. He didn’t grip Craig’s bony hips and his soft tanned skin. The way he would sound and taste and how he felt around him. His long legs wrapped around his waist. He would come all over his hand, Craig’s name on his tongue.
He saw him over every break, he would tell him all about the classes he took, the things he saw. He watched him nestled into Tweek’s side, the look of two people who had gone through everything together. They were comfortable together, they knew everything about each other. He knew that he had to move on, find someone new. He knew that Craig would be in good hands. But he it was hard and it hurt and eventually he settled into the pattern of finding someone just for now. Stan and Lola set him up with her best friend Jenny Simons and that worked for a while. Jenny was pretty with shiny dark hair and big pretty eyes, which was so fucking familiar. He tried so hard to love her, he tried to make things work. He took her out and listened to her work stories, she was a teller at the little local bank in town. He made love to her and imagined bony hips and a soft monotone voice and soft tanned skin. Eventually, he knew he had to break her heart. Then he moved onto a fling with Bebe, both blond and beautiful. That fizzled out as quickly as it started. Then there was a quick drunken fuck with Brimmy at a beer soaked house party. It was never enough, they would never be enough.
When Kevin got out of jail, he was the first to move away. He told Kenny over cheap PBR in cans that he needed to start a new life. He moved to Boulder, got his GED and started a technical school program in electrical work. He met a nice girl and settled down. Then his dad died, his liver finally gave out. His mom moved Karen and her to Boulder to be near her son, getting herself clean and happier in the process. He felt adrift, he felt alone. His friends were moving on, starting their own adult lives.
Here he was in Denver, working at the planetarium. Drawn to the sky because of a beautiful boy. He found an apartment, he settled into a routine and he was making friends. He was setting up this life that was his own when he heard that soft monotone voice and caught a glimpse of that soft dark hair and those huge dark eyes. He wasn’t over him and he stepped back into his life and it all felt like fate. Like the universe wanted to put these two lost souls together. That somewhere across time and space and the most rational part of his brain, they were meant to be together, find each other in this place so far from home.
“Kenny? What are you doing here?” Craig’s eyes were so big and bright and if he wasn’t charmed before, he was now. It was all coming back to him and he felt like he was sixteen years old again. Craig was smiling his little crooked smile at him and he felt like they were the only people in the world. Everything melting around them and everything was this moment. Fragile and beautiful and hopeful.
“Hey Tucker.” He pulled his slim frame into his arms and hugged him. He still smelled like herby sweet shampoo and apple fabric softener and shea butter soap. It was familiar and wonderful and he was trying not to get his hopes up. He was trying to put everything into perspective, Craig was home from school. He clearly was working here at this little planetarium. He was probably still with Tweek and they were in love and had been since they were ten years old. He had no shot, he had never had a shot. But it didn’t matter. He was here and Craig was in his arms, feeling as slim and lovely as he remembered. Sometimes logic didn’t apply, you had to go on feeling and he was feeling so lucky in that moment.
“You’re working here as well? That’s awesome. Now I have someone to eat lunch with.” Craig teased him and it felt like nothing had changed. No time had passed between them, it was still easy as ever.
“Do you want to get a drink tonight?” He took his chance and that was it. Sometimes you had to shoot your shot and hope it paid off. Craig smiled and nodded. They met in front of the front door, Craig had his sleeves rolled up to his knobby elbows and his work bag slung across his skinny torso. The way the light of the dim hallway shone off his dark hair and made him look like he had a halo. He was an angel, he was salvation, he was damnation in the task of moving on and finding something real with someone who wasn’t a dream within a dream. But he was here and he was real. He talked about space the way someone would talk about their first love. Space was Craig’s first love and Craig was his. They had somehow found their way to the same place and melded together.
Craig laughed softly over a cranberry and vodka and he nursed his PBR, old habits die hard when they were ingrained in every part of your being. He told him about Stanford and coming home. The little walk up he shared with Tweek and the flash in his eyes at shared. Not share, shared past tense.
“Is Tweek not back here with you?” He asked him munching on a free bar pretzel. Craig looked down at the apple watch on his thin wrist, twisting it around. He used to do that with the cheap little calculator watch he had in high school, it was one of his tells. Along with pulling his sweater sleeves over his hand when he was nervous or uncomfortable. He was fluent in the language of Craig Tucker.
“No he is not.” He told him softly. “We actually split up at the beginning of the summer. He wanted to stay in California and I have an opportunity to attend MIT for grad school.” He admitted to him. “It's very friendly, no hard feelings. I've already uprooted his life once. I can’t do it again.” He set his sweating glass down on the cheap bar coaster. He didn’t look sad, he looked resigned to this. That sometimes life handed you things and you had a choice. Make the best of it and keep living or wallow in despair, which is poetic but impractical when you’re an adult with dreams to achieve and bills to pay.
“Im sorry Craig, god that sucks.” He meant it. Even though things were at least ten billion times easier and there was no blond obstacle in his way, it sucked. It sucks to lose someone you’re close to.
“Its fine, we've stayed friends, we still talk every day. But its been over for so long, we were living like roommates, like best friends.” He motioned for the bartender to bring him another drink. “So Denver? That’s probably a story.” He was looking at him with those big dark fuck me eyes and it spiked white hot want right into Kenny’s dick. He was half hard in his dickies and thinking about what Craig would look like bent over this bar, slim pretty arms gripping the surface as he pounded into him. It wasn’t very poetic, but it was what he was going to pull his dick to tonight.
“I needed out, same shit, different day you know?” He drained the last of his beer and kept his eyes on Craig’s face. He was memorizing new panes of it. His skin still look soft and freckled and tanned. His eyes were still beautiful and his lips were full. Long lashes that made shadows on his cheeks and he wondered what would happen if he kissed him.
“So, do you want to come back to my place?” Craig asked him matter of fact and stilted. Kenny almost did a spit take like they do in old cartoons kids probably didn’t even know anymore.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” He wasn’t going to push him and he wasn’t going to throw this opportunity away. If Craig Tucker wanted him, he was going to take it.
“Yes.” That's all he had to say and that’s all he would say. Craig was a man of few words, if he wanted you, he would let you know. You didn’t need to play coy. You didn’t need to play games, he had learned through a long term loving relationship with a fully functioning and formed person. It made him laugh how people thought he had to take care of Tweek, when it was the other way around most of the time. Tweek knew how to handle anxiety and uncertainty, he on the other hand needed help with that. Tweek had made him better at vocalizing what he wanted, to make strides for it. He was doing that now, he wanted to fuck, he wanted to share the night with Kenny. Simple.
Craig’s apartment looked like no one had lived in it. Boxes still stacked up neatly, very little furniture. It didn’t look homey, It looked like a place that you just visit. He wanted to visit this place over and over again as he held this beautiful boy in his arms and pressed him against the door, holding his wrists above his head with one big hand. Craig pressed his skinny frame against his, panting softly as they kissed like their lives depended on it. That they had liquid courage in their bellies and nostalgia clouding their mind. He was sliding Craig’s cardigan over his slim shoulders and his dress shirt joined it on the floor. His steady hands stripped layer after layer off of Craig Tucker’s slim frame. His skin was soft and bruisable and he wanted to leave his mark on him.
He laid him gently on the bed like he was a precious thing, the frantic energy of a few moments ago slowed in his brain, he wanted this to last. He wanted to take him apart piece by piece until the only thing Craig knew to be true was how it felt to be on Kenny McCormick’s dick. How it felt to be filled up like his pretty little frame deserved. He was kissed down his throat to his jutting collar bones, bruises littering his tanned skin. He was spreading his legs, his big hands on his thighs.
“You’re fucking beautiful.” His voice muffled by tanned pretty skin. His smell and taste flooding his senses. How he sounded, broken and mewling and wanton. The way his hips were on autopilot, thrusting against Craigs, the friction of it all. He hadn’t made out like this since high school and he hadn’t felt like he would shoot his load before the big show since then either. But hearing craig and feeling him underneath was all about keeping his desires in control. Make this last for him, make this worth it for him.
He took him apart with thick nimble fingers, he stretched him and prepared him and he heard his breathy moans of encouragement. He kissed down his body, down his chest and lavished a perfect little brown nipple with his tongue. His teeth catching the edge of his rib cage as he fucked Craig Tucker with his fingers and heard him begging and babbling for more.
“Please daddy.” He begged him, his voice going high and breathy. “Just fuck me please.” His nails were clenching Kenny’s shoulders, leaving his own marks. Kenny put one of Craig’s legs over his shoulder as he positioned himself to push in. Gently, don’t just shove in and bottom out. Slowly, let him moan and writhe. Let this be everything to him like it was to him.
As soon as he heard Craig moan, he knew it was right, he could thrust forward. The rhythm was steady and certain and it was all Kenny had ever wanted. He got bolder and braver as it went on, deeper and harder and he could hear Craig’s bed hitting the wall, the mattress squeaking. Craig’s soft moans had became loud cries of his name, it sounded so good on those pretty pink lips. Kenny reached between them and pulled at Craig until he felt something warm and wet on his stomach and heard Craig let out a soft, keening cry. He gripped those skinny hips and thrusted deeply into him, good thrusts to finally get off. He filled him up, that sweet little tight body.
He slept with his arms around him, holding Craig to him. It might have only been for tonight, he was going to savour it, all intertwined with him. Hearing his soft breathing, stroking his silky black hair. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head, falling into easy slumber.
He anticipated it would be awkward the next morning, but it wasn’t. They had coffee and made small talk and he walked with Craig to work. Then they ate their lunch together, laughing over little jokes they both remembered. Every little step they made towards something, felt so natural. It felt like the easy banter of two old friends, the touches and kisses of people who were aimlessly drifting across the universe alone, but collided into each other.
They were laid back in the seats of the auditorium, watching the stars up on the ceiling. The twinkling of the stars and the soft Lord Huron they had playing. They passed a bottle of wine back and forth as they watched the stars.
“I'm leaving for MIT in two weeks.” Craig looked over at him. Kenny knew this, he knew Craig would go on to do great things. But the thought of him leaving when he finally had him, it killed him. This must have been how Tweek felt to let him go, watch him keep moving towards something amazing and awe inspiring that he felt he couldn’t follow.
“I know kitten, I'm going to miss you.” He was stroking his dark hair and kissing over his face. He could have told him please don’t leave me, I can’t go on knowing Ive had you. I've had a taste of you and now my life won’t be the same. But that would be desperate and he was afraid that it would drive him away. He loved him and he needed him. He felt it wash over him, colouring everything grayish blue.
“We have two weeks, lets just have fun.” Craig straddled his waist, his long legs around him. He rode him in the back of the auditorium, on a Tuesday evening. It would have been a story he could have seen himself telling Stan over beers or relayed to Kyle in a text. But it was Craig, it was private and it was precious and he wasn’t ready to share it with anyone. It was them. It had always been Craig and now it was and he didn’t want to share him. Denver felt like an island, only the two of them marooned here. He knew eventually the bubble would burst, but he wasn’t ready for that yet.
The night before Craig left, they were laying in his truck bed, outside of Denver and looking up at the stars. It was Craig’s favourite thing to do and the summer air smelled sweet, like clover. Craig was pointing out constellations to him in his monotone and he could listen to him tell him these same facts everyday for the rest of his life.
“I want to drive you to Massachusetts tomorrow.” He told him softly. They had played with this before. He would drive him and they would have a few more days together. See the country and stop when they saw something interesting. It was intimate and romantic and this grand adventure he never thought he would go on. But they hadn’t been dating for long and what if they didn’t make it? This trip driving them apart before the distance did.
“Are you sure, it's a big undertaking.” Craig turned and looked at him and he reached over and brushed shaggy golden hair out of Kenny’s eyes. “I can drive myself.” He nestled in close and Kenny put his arms around him.
“You can, but I want to.” They looked up at the sky and it was vast and awe inspiring. It was ever moving and there was always more to discover. He saw the same things in them, they were going to do great things, they were going to be everlasting. They had so much potential and things were new and things weren’t certain. But he wanted to discover more in them and he wanted to see this thing through.
The next morning they packed up his old pickup truck, the sun wasn’t up yet and the stars were still twinkling above. He looked over at Craig as he wiped the sleep out of his giant doe eyes and gave him the little tired smile he had.
“Are you ready to go?” He asked him stifling a yawn and Kenny had never been more ready for anything in his life.
“Of course kitten, let's go see this thing through.” He put the car in drive and they headed towards their future. Not knowing where it took them, but enjoying the ride anyways.