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"I HOPE WHOEVER THE FUCK IS MY SOULMATE CHOKES ON THEIR SALIVA AND STEP ON A LEGO AND THEN TRIP DOWN THE STAIRS AND SNAP THEIR NECK!"Baekhyun screams.
Luhan smiles apologetically at his poor friend.
Baekhyun burries his face into the pillow and starts screaming again.
This was not supposed to turn out like this.
No.This was supposed to be the best day of his life.His 18th birthday,the day people are supposed to get the hint connecting them to their soulmate.
Yes,on your 18th birthday,tiny tattooes of things that your soulmate loves appear on your wrists.And when you finally meet them and brush the tattoos with each other's hands,both of your small tattoos merge together and form into this two identical tattoos on both of the soulmates wrists.
That's all very artistic and beautiful.
Only when your soulmate is someone nice like Luhan's unknown one.He has beautiful small tattoos of bottles of bubble tea,a small white bicheon frise,a dancing figure,some tubes of hair dyes and some perfume bottles.
And what does the romantic,very heterosexual and artistic soul Baekhyun get?
a dick!
Yes,a dick on his wrist.
a dick on his very heterosexual wrist.
His perverted jerk of a soulmate doesn't have anything else they love but fucking dicks.
well,there is also a small rilakkuma,some zootopia characters,red drumsets,a black guitar and a small black poodle puppy tattooed on his wrist too.This would make Baekhyun coo and fall in love instantly if it wasn't for the dick that sat in the middle of his wrists with all its glory.
"It's okay,Baek.At least it may mean that your soulmate is surely a heterosexual girl who likes dicks,"Luhan tries to ease his crying friend's agony.
However,Luhan's soothing words fall into deaf ears as Baekhyun shivers in the fear of having his soul tied to a potential pervert for the nth time that day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait,what?HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"Jongdae's loud voice attract a lot of unwanted attention to the table where Baekhyun and his little group was seated.
"Shut it,Jongdae,"Baekhyun groans.
"Sorry but no,Baek.And here i thought my soulmate was a creep because i got steamed bun and marshmallow tattoos on my wrist."Jongdae hollars in laughter again.
"Tell him to stop,Luhan,"Baekhyun says
"Sorry,baek but its really kinda funny,"says Luhan while high-fiving Jongdae.
"Yo nerds.looking really happy today?"
ugh,No.Not this shit again.
Baekhyun turns to the annoyingly familiar voice
"Park,"Baekhyun grits his teeth
"Oooo liddol puppy Byun is angry,"Chanyeol says in a sing-song voice while his friend Minseok laughs.
"And the manly Lulu kitty is here too,"Sehun sniggers while snatching the packet of fries from Luhan's tray.
"Give that back,Oh,"Luhan says,"Shut your dumb ass and leave us alone."
"Oooh,no need to be so harsh,lulu kitten.i Know you dig my ass like nobody else,"Sehun says while eating nonchalantly as Chanyeol hollars in laughter.
Baekhyun sighs.
This was their regular routine.This dumb gay bad boy group would come and bully them for no reason.
Baekhyun opened his mouth to say something but he was suddenly cut off by a cheery tone.
"Hey,guys,good that you're all here!"Jongin chimes in,beaming,"Overnight Party at mine this 12th.Y'all coming?"
All six men nod.
Although stupid peasants like park chanyeol will be present there,But Jongin's parties were always the best.And Baekhyun was not gonna let park spoil anymore fun in his life,Baekhyun thinks while taking the small envelope with Jongin's address written on it.
~~~~~~
Entering Jongin's house,Baekhyun's ears boom with loud music.There is people everywhere.Students from his college and also many seniors Baekhyun has seen at the campus.
He starts looking for his friends.As if on cue,Jongdae's loud voice calls for Baekhyun.He whips his head into that direction to find Luhan and Jonhdae sitting on the kitchen beside the table that is serving the purpose of a bar counter right now.
Baekhyun joins his friends.
"Holy shit,Baek.The way you've covered up that dickattoo is genius,"Jongdae says
Baekhyun smiles proudly.He has chosen this outfit very carefully.He had worn a black fitted full sleeve shirt paired with fitted light blue jeans and his right sleeve folded up slightly and the left sleeve covering his left wrist and the "dickattoo" in the process.his fashion sense was not one to ignore,mind you,he is a fashion genius
"Dickattoo?"Luhan says.
"Uhh yes,Luhan.Dick+tattoo=Dickattoo"Jongdae laughs loudly,"Trying to make something cute out of it to ease Baek's pain a bit."
"Haha very funny,Dae,"Baekhyun scoffs.
The party continues as the three friends keep having their own fun.But because the universe fucking hated him,Baekhyun's fun time comes to an end when he spots a certain tall,giant like male making his way towards them.
of course this tall demon is here
"yo,Byun BaekMidgetHyun,shirt on a party?you really are a nerd,"Chanyeol sniggers,"also black?damn is this a funeral or something?"
"It will be one if you continue your antics,park,"Baekhyun retorts,clearly triggered by the sudden criticism of his fashion taste.
He is a fashion genius for fuck's sake!
"Now Byun,you getting all angry just makes me horny for you,"Chanyeol says nastily
"Leave before i put my foot up your-"
"Ooh,"Chanyeol leans in and brushes his lips on Baekhyun's ears,"How about you put something else up my you-know-what."
Chanyeol straightens his back and gives Baekhyun a suggestive wiggling of eyebrows.
Sehun and Minseok burst out in laughter.
Baekhyun cringes,"Fuck you,Park.I AM straight!"
"So is spaghetti until it's wet,"Chanyeol winks
"That doesn't even make sense,dumbass,guys get hard,not wet,"Baekhyun says
"Oh sure they do,Byun.Remind me to show you one day,"Chanyeol winks before leaving while laughing loudly.
"Damn that was smooth,you should've seen the look on your face"Luhan says while Jongdae starts cackling like a maniac.
"That didn't even make sense"Baekhyun says
"Whatever,Baek.But the embarrassment you got is real,Park is a trolling genius,"Jongdae says
Baekhyun massages his temple.He needs a break.
Baekhyun excuses himself from his small fun gathering and goes out to have some fresh air.
It's not like he hated park from day one and vice-versa.He minded his own business and park minded his own.
Shit actually went down when one busy day on uni,he had accidentally called Park "Yoda" in front of everyone and made a laughing stock out of park.
Okay,maybe that was a little too insensitive of Baekhyun.But how would he know that park had this huge internal-insecurity-fueled-by-self-loathe-and-past-bully-memories about his ears.
And to be honest,Baekhyun loves Yoda from Star Wars.And he liked Park too(no homo though).Park was the funny,hyperactive,cute puppy of the class.Baekhyun thought of yoda every time he saw Park's protruding ears.Baekhyun couldn't control his mouth that fateful day.
But really,Park's ears are so cute.They make Park look so cute.Park is so cute.He actually really liked Park (NO HOMO THOUGH)before Park turned into a dick.But Baekhyun would admit that over his deadbody.period.
"Mind if i sit here?"
Baekhyun's internal Park-monologue gets cut off.He turns and sees a beautiful girl standing in the door of the porch.
"Yeah,sure,"Baekhyun says
who will say no to such a pretty girl Baekhyun squeaks internally
"Tough day?" the beautiful girl speaks up
"Just some bullies,"Baekhyun replies,"By the way,i'm Baekhyun,"he stretches his hand
"Yoora,nice to meet you"the girl yoora shakes Baekhyun's hand.
"I know it's extremely cheesy and cringey but I'm sure i have seen you somewhere."Baekhyun says
Yoora laughs,"Maybe because we go to the same college?I go to ABC."
"What?Me too! What year are you in?I'm in 2nd year,"Baekhyun says
"Ow then,little boy,i'm your senior.I'm in 3rd."yoora replies.
Then Suddenly Yoora says in a made up loud voice,"Call the Noble Lady noona Lest thee should be beheaded,boy."
Baekhyun bursts out in laughter.Yoora is so perfect.
"Hey,this loud music is making my ears ring.Mind coming to my place?"Yoora says
"What?i mean sure,"
"Whoa,i don't have any hidden intentions.So,chill.I just wanna chat,"yoora says
Baekhyun smiles and nods.
This night turned out to be so much better than Baekhyun could have asked for.
~~~~~~~~~
"Wow,this is your house?"Baekhyun stands in front of the beautiful white house with the large adjacent flower garden.
"Yes,Come in,Baekhyun.My parents are maybe asleep by now."Yoora motions with her hands.
As Baekhyun enters and shuts the door,a small puppy runs towards them.
Yoora takes the puppy in her arms and coos.
Baekhyun freezes.
That is a black poodle identical to the one on his wrist!Baekhyun stares.The same styled furr.Fluffy at his ears and less furr at the tummy.
Okay okay this could be a coincidence
"Is that your puppy?"Baekhyun asks
"No,He is my son,Toben,"Yoora says,"Here,say hi.he loves meeting new people."
Baekhyun takes Toben into his arms and coos.But for some reason Toben's hyperactive silliness reminds him of someone,who he doesn't remember.But the thought vanishes beyond the thoughts of Yoora being his potential soulmate.
"Hey Baek,Come here,"Yoora calls from upstairs.
Baekhyun enters the room and sits on the bed.
"I'll bring some juice,"Yoora says
Baekhyun sits there and looks around
It was a neat and tidy room.But what stunned Baekhyun the most is the Guitar and drumsets at the corner.
And the bed he is sitting on?Wait,Zootopia?Rilakkuma plushies?
Dizzily,Baekhyun does a mental note check.
-small black poodle with styled furr? check
-black guitar? check
-red drumsets? check
-Zootopia bed sheets and figurines? check
-rilakkuma plushies? fucking check!
And every single one of these things are identical to the small tattoes on his wrist!
YOORA IS HIS SOULMATE!
Baekhyun screams in joy internally
Fate doesn't hate him after all.
~~~~~~~~
"So,you mean to say,you have found your soulmate and managed to score a date?"Luhan says
Baekhyun nods.
"Man,yoora is so cute and funny.and her puppy is also very cute,"Baekhyun starts daydreaming
"Whoa easy there,dude,"Jongdae says,"don't forget she is also the one that gave you the dickattoo."
Baekhyun facepalms.ofcourse Jongdae has to go and spoil the moment.
"But did you check her wrist though?How can you be so sure?"Luhan asks
"No,i didn't see her tattoos she always wears full sleeves like me.("Maybe because you gave her an equally embarrassing tattoo there,''Jongdae hollars in the background)But the bedroom she took me into had identical objects as the tattoos on my wrist.and if she took me there,that's obviously yoora's room,right?"Baekhyun explains
"Yeah,and you will know it anyway when your hands brush,so chill and congrats,"Luhan cheers.
Baekhyun smiles.He loves his life.
~~~~~~~~~
Baekhyun smiles to himself.Today was his date with Yoora.
"Baekhyun!"Baekhyun turns to the voice,and there yoora was.
"Yoora,noona!You look beautiful"
"THANKS!Let's get going,"
They enter the amusement park.Today was going to be a good day.
They chat,they eat and have fun.
Still Baekhyun feels like something is off,Like something is missing.Baekhyun loves Yoora's personality,but just because it reminds him of someone else's.Like he is searching someone else in Yoora.And who that is,Baekhyun cannot remember.
Damn you fate,Baekhyun thinks.
At evening,Yoora and Baekhyun sit on a bench.
"Hey,Baekhyun,thanks for this date,i had fun,"Yoora says
"Yes i had fun too,"Baekhyun says as they eat their candies
"I guess,I'll leave now,huh,"Yoora says as she stands up and gives Baekhyun a hug.Their hands brush as they say goodbye.
ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod
Baekhyun chants internally as he walks on the street heading to his home.
A shop appears and Baekhyun holds his wrist up.
He freezes.
WAIT
NOTHING CHANGED??
the same old small poodle,drumsets,guitar,zootopia,rilakkuma and the good old dickattoo is still there,staring back at him like they are mocking Baekhyun's dumbfounded state.
He definitely brushed hands with Yoora's hand.
does that mean i don't have a soulmate?
This happens to some unfortunate people at times.People whose soulmates don't exist.Even after finding all the hints and tattoos their tattoos don't merge,meaning they will forever live alone.
Is this what's going to happen to him?
The Baekhyun who dreamed all his life about his soulmate?The Baekhyun who waited for his soulmate since childhood?
Does fate hate him that much?
Just at that time a loud horn,an "ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND,YOU DUMB NERD" was heard and Baekhyun is harshly pulled into a warm embrace.
Baekhyun closes his eyes as he collides into a warm chest.
After the loud sounds were gone,his savior pulls apart."Ya,Byun are you fucking retarded or something?''
of course it has to be Park Chanyeol at this time.Fate really hates him,huh
Baekhyun can't hold himself anymore.
''Yeah,Nerd why ain't you talk- Wait,are you crying?''Chanyeol panicks seeing Baekhyun's tears,''Oh my god,Byun i'm sorry for scolding you.Please don't cry,''
Hearing Chanyeol's soothing words Baekhyun starts crying loudly now.
Chanyeol gets more surprised and hurt.Because the way Baekhyun was crying,it was evident that the smaller guy was very hurt and sad.Chanyeol's thoughts get cut off as a man walking on the footpath yells,''Yo tall bean,be a man and stop making your boyfriend cry.You're blocking the path''
Chanyeol groans and moves the small crying guy into the corner where his car is parked.
All the while,Baekhyun's tears don't stop nor does his loud wails.
Chanyeol picks Baekhyun up and places him on the back of his car so that Baekhun comes face to face with him.
Seeing Baekhyun's face,all sad,puffy and his boopy red little nose breaks Chanyeol's heart.it's true he hated Byun for ridiculing his insecurities,but that doesn't mean he wanted The small guy to suffer.
''Yaah Byun,Please stop crying.You are a good boy,right?''Baekhyun ridiculously nods his head as his loud wails come to a stop.
Seeing the progress Chanyeol continues,''Good boys don't cry like this,Byun.And please forgive Chanyeol?Chanyeol will never tease you anymore.Chanyeol won't call Byun a nerdy midget again.Chanyeol will buy Byun icecream,okay?''
Baekhyun sniffles and nods.
Chanyeol runs to the store and buys some ice cream.
Chanyeol may or may not had a crush on Baekhyun since the first day of college untill Baekhyun decided to call him that.Baekhyun's small button nose,puppy eyes,small lips-Chanyeol loved it all.LOVED,okay?Not like he does now,Byun is a fucking idiot.
''Here,Byun,eat the ice cream,''Chanyeol gives Baekhyun the ice cream and climbs beside him.
They sit there silently,only Baekhyun's occasional sniffles were heard.
''How did you know i like strawberry ice cream,park?''Baekhyun breaks the silence.
''Umm,it was just a hunch,you kinda look like a strawberry when you cry,Byun.No offense''
''Nah,none taken,''
Chanyeol suddenly climbs the top of the car,''Yah,Byun come up here,''He calls Baekhyun
''What now,park?''
''Ugh Don't talk so much,puppy.Just lie here,''Chanyeol says as he lies down on the roof of his car,Baekhyun does too and understands why the taller called him.
it was a full moon night with all the shiny stars and the big,bright,yellow moon.
''Scoot closer,Byun.I don't bite,''
''I highly doubt,''Says Baekhyun while scooting closer to Chanyeol,"But why were you talking to me in third person a while ago when i was crying?"
"Oh that?"Chanyeol laughs,"that's how i calm my puppy when he gets angry."
"That's fucking weird,park"
"It worked on you though,pup"
"Guess I'm weird too"Baekhyun laughs.
Silence.
''you know,Byun,''
''Hmm''
''Your nose is BOOPY''
''the fuck that mean,park''
''When i see your nose it's boopy-boop-boop,Like i think if i press it like a button something truly magical will happen i don't know maybe the gateway to Narnia will open up or something,''
''What?''Baekhyun bursts out in laughter,''that's riddiculous,Park.''
''Yah,don't laugh.It's just my thought.''
''Hey,park,Listen,when i called you yoda,i actually didn't mean to insult you.I really like the character yoda.''
''What?''Chanyeol sits up,''You like Yoda?''
''Yeah,Why are you so surprised,''
''Umm,nah,Just a little thought,''
''So are we cool now?''
''Totally boopy-boop-boop,''
''You are weird,Park''
''So are you,Byun,''
~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
''There you go,Byun.Go inside your house before someone comes and kidnaps your boopy ass,''Chanyeol says while pulling up in front of Baekhyun's house.
''Nothing will happen as long as your gay ass is here,Park,''Baekhyun says while laughing.
That night,laying on his bed,Baekhyun thinks about everything that happened since morning.
Surprisingly,the date with Yoora wasn't what lingered on his mind,But the dumb car hangout with Park was all he could think about.
park is not actually that bad.
Chanyeol knew Baekhyun was upset over something.But He did not push his privacy,in stead distracted Baekhyun and made him laugh.
park is actually very sensible.
Baekhyun smiles to himself.
Not noticing the small poodle,guitar,drumsets,rilakkuma,zootopia figurines and the dick on his wrist merging together.
On the other side,Chanyeol lies on his bed while hugging his rilakkuma plushie.
Byun is not such a bad guy.He is more like a puppy,a small dumb puppy with a boopy nose who doesn't have much sense of speech
Chanyeol smiles to himself.
byun is so cute
Chanyeol falls asleep with a smile on his face.
Not noticing the small tattoes on his hand merging slowly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chogiwa~~Danbeonne Nekko~~Neol hanibe chijocheurem jiboneultedaa~~~
Baekhyun's alarm goes off.
''Ughhh,''Baekhyun groans.
it was a sunday morning and Baekhyun forgot to change the time of alarm.He really was dumb.
''ugh,now i gotta pee,''Baekhyun wakes up and goes to the toilet.
while washing his hands he suddenly screams aloud.very loud.
''Baekhyun,honey what happened?''Baekhyun's mom knocks on his door.
Baekhyun opens the door screaming while lifting up his wrist.
''MOM THE UGLY TATTOO IS GONE!MOM LOOK AT THIS!!''
''Oh my god,son that means you have met your soulmate last night,''his mom beams
That's when the reality sinks in.
yeah,merging the tattoo means he brushed hands with his soulmate.
But yesterday he only brushed his hands with Luhan-Jongdae that he does everyday,Yoora-nothing happened after that,then-
PARK?
WHAT????????
baekhyun's blood runs cold as he paces back and forth.
He ignores his mom's calls as he sets out to meet the only reliable and sensible person he knows,Yoora.
~~~~~~~~
Baekhyun rings the bell.
''Baekhyun?''Yoora opens the door,''Is everything alright?''
'Noona HELP ME''Baekhyun screams,''i might have met my soulmate last night and i don't even know what is happening,i don't understand anything-''
''Okay okay calm down,Come up to my room,''Yoora takes Baekhyun to her room.
"Noona where is your pup?" Baekhyun asks
"Toben?he is actually my younger brother's puppy.he sleeps with him."
"ow,"Baekhyum says entering the room and gets surprised.
''Noona,This is your room?''
''Yes,Baekhyun.''
''Then the one that you showed me the other day?''
''Oh that?''Yoora smiles apologetically,''That day my room was really messy,so i was embarrased to call you inside my room.That was my younger brother's room.He always keeps his room neat''
okay,younger brother's room WAIT WHAT?
At that time,Yoora's mom calls them downstairs for breakfast
''Listen,Baek,Let's eat breakfast,seeing you,i can understand you just woke up.eating something will help you calm down and think rationally,''Yoora proposes.
Baekhyun nods.
When Baekhyun comes down to the breakfast hall,he screams again.
And this time he is not the only one to scream but another scream erupts from the dining hall.
''OH MY GOD,PARK?WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN NOONA'S HOUSE!!''
''OH MY GOD BYUN?WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?''
Wait,his house?
''Oh you two know each other?''Yoora chimes in,''Baekhyun,This is my younger brother Chanyeol.And Chanyeol,Baekhyun is the nice junior who took me on a date yesterday.''
park is the younger brother that means park is-
''That still doesn't explain what is Byun doing with you in his pajamas,noona.Wait,are you two living together?''
''What?FUCK NO,park.Have you even seen the tattoes on your wrist?''
''No,why-''
Chanyeol's breathe hitches as he looks down on his own wrist.
all the small tattooes were gone!
There was only a beautiful ''CB'' written inside a small heart
Baekhyun brings his own wrist closer.
''they are IDENTICAL?''
''YES,PARK!''
''OH MY GOD,BYUN WE ARE SOULMATES''
''OH MY GOD YES,PARK,I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE ALONE!''
"SAME,BYUN,SAME!"
Squeaking loudly,Baekhyun lunges towards Chanyeol and Chanyeol lifts Baekhyun up.
They start spinning in the middle of the kitchen.
That's when Chanyeol's parents enter the kitchen.
''umm,''Chanyeol's mom stutters while Chanyeol's dad becomes speechless at the sight.
There was their son in his riddiculous yellow spongebob pajamas laughing like crazy while hugging and spinning with a smaller boy wearing equally riddiculous pink patrick pajamas.
''Yoora was there supposed to be a weird spinining-on-pajama party on the kitchen today?because i wouldn't have change my pajamas then,''Chanyeol's dad says finally
''Hey BOYS!!''Yoora stops the crazy dumb couple,''Have some shame.Mom-Dad are here''
The couple stops.
''Umm good morning,Mr. and Mrs. Park,I am Baekhyun,Park,I mean,Chanyeol's fri-''
''HE'S MY SOULMATE!''Chanyeol cuts baekhyun off.
''Umm yes,''Baekhyun says shyly.
''you know you two's choice of pajamas actually gives that away,''Chanyeol's mom says while laughing.
Baekhyun facepalms internally.This is not how he wanted to meet his future in-laws.
~~~~~~~~~~~
''Tell me one thing,Chanyeol,''Baekhyun says while strolling around in the Park household's garden.
"uh huh,"Chanyeol replies
"What tattoes did you have on your wrist?"
"Hmm,i had some small strawberries,tubs of ice creams,stars,yoda and a piano.and thanks for reminding me you are guilty for giving me a yoda tattoo,Byun!Take responsibility!"
"What you think that's horrible?Park,you literally gave me a dick tattoo!"
"W-What?"Chanyeol says before bursting out in laughter,"damn that ought to happen.i am very gay after all"
"Not done,park.I'm hetero!"
"Well you were,Byun.Not anymore because now you are the very gay boyfriend of the very gay Park Chanyeol."
"ugh true that.But still i'm happy that you are the one.Youarekindofreallyhotandsexy,"Baekhyun says in one breath.
"What was that?"
"N-Nothing"
"Whatever,boopy,excuse me while the gay me gayly goes and hugs his very gay boyfriend in the gayest way possible,"Chanyeol says while hugging Baekhyun.
"I love you,Baekhyun"
"I love you too,Chanyeol."
This was everything he ever wanted,Baekhyun thinks to himself.
only Baekhyun and his soulmate and flowers and butterflies all around. Just like a romantic movie
Maybe Fate didn't hate him after al-
His thoughts get cut off when Chanyeol speaks up.
"Heyy,Baek?"
"Hmm,yeol?"
Baekhyun looks up to see a very serious Chanyeol staring back at him.
"How about we get matching neon pink dick tattooes together on our wrists?and we can be known as the shocking-mystery-dick tattoo couple,"Chanyeol says with a straight face.
This is the man Baekhyun was supposed to spend his whole life with?
"FUCK YOU FATE!"Baekhyun screams before launching a full-on tickle attack on his dumb soulmate.
~~~~~~