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"Fuck, fuck, shit, I hate my life," Felix kept mumbling to himself as he practically sprinted down the empty corridor leading to his Physics class.
In the past ten minutes, he'd been to four different classrooms - all of them the wrong ones - and he was really starting to lose faith in his navigation skills, not that he had any to begin with.
One side of his brain - the calm, relaxed side - was telling him that it was because he was new and tried to reassure him that his teacher wouldn't hate him, but the other side of his brain - the frantic, panicked side - was screaming at him, telling him that it didn't matter that he was new. This was university and he was supposed to be responsible for himself now, yet he couldn't even navigate one classroom.
This time, however, he was certain he had taken the right left after Calculus, as he spotted during his sprinting pictures of Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton on the display boards. Felix concluded then for himself that if the next classroom he walked into was the wrong one then he would lock himself in his dorm room and never come out again.
Slowing down, Felix's eyes scanned the name and numbers on the door, looking down at his timetable to compare whether they were the same (he really should've done that for the first four classrooms he stumbled into). Sighing out in relief, Felix's hand reached out for the handle of the door, twisting it and letting the mahogany wood door open with a little push of his hand.
The moment the door opened, all eyes were on him. The lecture hall was definitely almost full, which meant just under two-hundred pairs of eyes were stuck on him, and Felix gulped.
"Lee Felix?" The teacher asked, his monotonous voice actually surprising Felix at first. He looked over at his teacher, a tall-ish man in a burgundy suit and a paintbrush-like moustache who looked like he really didn't want to be here.
Felix bowed down to express his guilt for being late to this scary man's lesson, and he heard the teacher sigh.
"I'm sorry I'm late, sir," the orange-haired boy apologised feebly, standing back upright when the teacher cleared his throat.
"Just go and sit down," Moustache-man replied. "There's a free seat next to Changbin."
Felix looked up into the sea of eighteen to nineteen year-olds in search of this 'Changbin' guy. Luckily, said 'guy' stuck his hand up and waved at Felix, giving the redhead a reassuring kind-of smile that made Felix feel lucky for once.
He began making his way up the staircase of shame to the row where Changbin was sitting, and he shouldn't have been surprised that none of the people already sitting down would stand up or make any effort whatsoever to make the journey to his seat easier for Felix.
The next five seconds were filled with awkward "sorry, excuse me, s-sorry, can I just-"s, and Felix was pretty sure he sighed in relief when he eventually did sit down to this Changbin fellow. Up close, he looked like a pretty nice guy. He had a long face with a very prominent and sloped nose, something that Felix found different. He was attractive but Felix didn't know what made him attractive.
"You're new here, right?" Changbin asked in a hushed whisper, leaning in so their teacher wouldn't hear him.
Felix doubted Moustache-man would hear them from where they were sitting and nodded stiffly.
"I thought so," Changbin replied with a smile so bright, Felix could've sworn he saw the sun in the brunette's teeth. "I've been sitting alone for the past month but I really enjoy talking so this class has been Hell for me."
"I can't relate," Felix whispered back. "I really hate talking to new people - no offence."
"None taken," Changbin grinned again, and Felix felt the corners of his own lips raise into a nervous smile. "You don't mind me talking to you, do you? I can just talk in my head if you want me to."
Felix shook his head, orange hair flopping about on his head as he did so. Changbin seemed intrigued by the action.
"You can talk to me," the freckled boy replied. "You seem nice."
Changbin's grin grew even bigger if that was possible, and Felix felt his cheeks heat up.
"You're not from Korea, are you?" The brunette asked, and Felix nodded statically. "Felix doesn't sound like a Korean name."
"I-It's my English name," the redhead answered. "My Korean name is Yongbok b-but I like my English name more."
"You're English?"
"Australian."
Changbin's mouth dropped open ajar as he leaned back in his seat, breathing out a short "wow".
"That's so cool," he gushed, and Felix smiled nervously. "My friend, Chan is Australian, too. I never thought I would meet another Australian-Korean."
"I hope what you two are talking about is about Quantum Physics, otherwise I don't want to hear it," Moustache-man raised his voice from the front of the lecture hall, and Felix actually flinched at the sudden noise.
Changbin raised his hand in apology. "Sorry, teach."
Felix looked over at the boy on his right and wondered how he could be so...out there. It was like Changbin never hesitated in anything he did, and Felix found that so interesting.
"Have you got anything after this lesson?" Changbin asked, quieter this time so Moustache-man wouldn't request to have his head. "I can fill you in on what you've missed for the first month."
Felix shook his head. "This is my only lesson. But you don't have to do that for me."
"Why not? You're new here and it would be rude of me not to help you," the brunette replied, and Felix figured he couldn't really argue with that.
"Ok," he nodded nervously, and Changbin smiled that big smile again. It made Felix feel self conscious even though he brushed his teeth this morning.
~*~
After another hour and a half of Moustache-man droning on about something Felix didn't even understand (he really didn't understand why he chose to major in Physics when he was much better at English - being able to speak the language fluently).
"'Sup, losers," Changbin greeted his group of friends once the two of them reached the table they would be studying at.
The seven boys turned around and looked up from their own work and Felix gulped. Seven people? Why did Changbin have seven friends?
"Hey, hyung," one of the boys smiled at Changbin, showing off a set of braces that Felix thought screamed innocence.
Brace-boy (don't blame Felix for his creative - perhaps cruel - nicknames, he was struggling) picked his bag up from one of the chairs next to him and put it on the floor underneath his own chair, and Changbin smiled at him before taking the available seat.
The table itself was big enough to fit ten chairs, yet only seven of the ten chairs were being taken up when the two of them arrived, so Felix didn't have a problem finding a seat next to Changbin once Brace-boy moved his bag.
"Who's this kid?" Another brunette asked, with puffy lips and a beauty spot under his left eye. He looked extremely sleep-deprived and so Felix mentally forgave him for his bitter tone.
"This is Felix. He's new," Changbin introduced and Felix waved nervously.
"He's really cute," a different boy with lighter brown hair quipped. Felix didn't think much of the compliment considering this boy was sitting on another boy's lap, his arms wrapped around the squirrel-looking boy's neck.
"That's Minho, he's a hoe," Changbin rolled his eyes. "Being crushed by his weight is Jisung-"
"-I'm not that heavy!"
Changbin pointed to a blonde boy who looked a little older than the others. In Felix's eyes, he looked a little foreign.
"That's Chan, the other Australian I was telling you about," the brunette explained. "Next to him is Woojin. This is our dandy boy, Seungmin, that's Hyunjin, and this cutie is Jeongin."
Changbin lightly gripped Jeongin's face in his hand and squished his cheeks, causing the boy with the braces to laugh.
"Stop, hyung, you're weird," the redhead swatted Changbin's hand away from his face and Chan suddenly leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbow on the table and pointing at Felix.
"Wait, so you're Australian, too?" He asked, and Felix nodded. Chan then held his hand out for Felix to shake, which he did so with confusion written over his face. "I already like you."
"Stop hitting on the newbie, old man!" Minho teased, and Chan sat back in his seat.
"I'm literally three weeks older than you," the blonde mumbled, and Changbin chuckled at the two before turning to Felix.
"You know much about Physics?" He asked, and Felix sighed.
"Not really," the orange-haired boy answered. "I was good at it in high school but I haven't touched a Physics textbook since my last day."
"Honestly," Changbin whispered. "I don't think anyone in our class is good at Physics. Mr. Lee isn't really the best teacher ever."
"That's his name?" Felix asked. "I've been calling him Moustache-man in my head for the past two hours."
Changbin laughed out loud at that. "You're funny. Come on, let's study."
~*~
Felix didn't see Changbin for three days after that until their next Physics lesson together. He'd seen the others around a few times, and had successfully come to the conclusion that Minho and Jisung were in some form of relationship. He wasn't sure if they were exclusive or just fucking but he felt happy for them. Every time he saw them, hand-in-hand and kissing each other, his heart swelled.
He liked seeing other people happy, even if he wasn't necessarily happy himself.
Turns out that Felix had also joined the university at that time where students were able to switch courses if they wanted to. Of course, Felix didn't get the option to since he'd literally just joined, but the opportunity would be proposed to him in around a month. Felix didn't see himself switching courses, though - not with Changbin sitting next to him.
When he stepped into Physics on that Thursday, Mr. Lee (Felix still called him 'Moustache-man' in his head) seemed pleasantly surprised that Felix wasn't late today. He'd made sure to leave his dorm twenty minutes early that morning as he still wasn't familiar with the building, but he'd managed to get there with five minutes to spare.
Also turns out that Felix's roommate was none other than Han Jisung, the squirrel-like boy that seemed to be with Minho. Felix hadn't been to his dorm at all on the first day, since he was late for his first lesson and went to study with Changbin afterwards. A nice lady at the front desk said she would get someone to take his things up to his room for him since she said Felix looked like 'a sad, confused Meerkat'.
The only time he had been to his dorm was late at night, when his roommate was nowhere to be seen. But when he woke up the next day and saw Jisung getting ready for his own day, he almost cried from relief.
Felix gave an uneasy smile to his teacher before bolting up the staircase to the row where he and Changbin had sat last lesson. The latter was already there, doodling in his notebook with his earbuds in, which Felix chalked up as the reason why he hadn't heard the door open or even the footsteps approaching him.
When he sat down, however, Changbin looked up and his lips curled into a smile as he took his earbuds out from his ears and paused his music.
"Good morning," he greeted happily, and Felix smiled at him.
"Morning," he replied. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I was hoping you wouldn't have changed courses."
Changbin seemed surprised by Felix's statement, and Felix himself was surprised. Nevertheless, he was genuinely happy to see Changbin. He was probably the only person he could call a friend at this point, although Jisung and the others did seem pretty cool.
"Nah, this subject may suck but I am good at it, so," Changbin shrugged, and Felix reached into his bag for his notebook and pencil case. "Are you thinking of dropping when you get the chance?"
"Probably not," the redhead answered. "I do like Physics, but I'm just not very good at it right now, so all I need to do is study and pay attention in class and I should be ok."
"Smart thinking, 'Lix," Changbin quipped, and Felix's cheeks heated up at the nickname.
Changbin didn't seem to realise what he'd said, too preoccupied with his doodle of a bear to even think about it. Felix figured he should stop overthinking things and be a normal human being for once.
Thirty minutes into the lesson and Felix realised that over half of the original class had dropped Physics. There were probably just under one hundred people left in the class, and Felix knew it was because of the boring teacher. The content itself wasn't difficult if you knew the basics of Physics, which both Felix and Changbin seemed to know rather well, and Felix doubted someone who didn't know jack-shit about Physics would decide to major in it.
For once, Changbin actually seemed focused, not speaking much during the lesson and Felix figured it was because he was concentrating hard, so he decided to do the same. But within the last twenty minutes of the lesson, Changbin slid a piece of paper over to Felix's desk which, admittedly, made the redhead flinch.
Nonetheless, he picked up the piece of paper and turned it over to see a very intricate drawing of himself, as a cat. Raising an eyebrow, Felix looked over at the brunette sitting next to him who was pretending nothing had just happened.
Deciding he had enough time to do a half-decent drawing, Felix tore a section of his page off and began drawing Changbin as a hamster. He wasn't the best artist, but he decided that his final piece was good enough.
Sliding the shitty drawing over to Changbin's desk, Felix began packing up his things like the rest of the class. Changbin laughed at the drawing of him and very carefully placed it between two pages in his notebook before closing the book and dropping it into his bag.
"You coming to hang with us?" He asked, and Felix nodded. "How much are we willing to bet Minho and Jisung will be making out when we get there?"
"I'm poor, I'm not betting anything," Felix laughed as the two left the classroom. He'd only noticed now that he was walking alongside Changbin that he was slightly taller than him. Changbin did look older than him in Felix's mind, though, which aroused curiosity in his mind. "How old are you?"
Changbin looked over at Felix, a look of confusion on his face which soon morphed into a smile.
"19," he answered proudly. "20 in August."
"You're a second-year?" Felix asked with wide eyes and Changbin nodded. "I thought you were a first-year."
"Nope, Hyunjin and I are in the same year," the brunette replied while shaking his head. "Seungmin, Jisung and Jeongin are first-years and Minho, Chan and Woojin are third-years- wait. Are you a first-year?"
Felix nodded.
"And you're taller than me," the older boy pouted, and Felix felt bad even though he knew he was joking.
"If I could make myself shorter, then I would," the redhead smiled uncertainly just as the two of them reached the same table from yesterday.
"It's Felix!" Minho exclaimed from Jisung's lap, waving at the younger boy and Felix couldn't help but blush at the realisation that Minho was a third-year and Jisung was a first-year. Age was just a number, but Felix had never been with anyone in his life and he couldn't imagine himself with someone two years his senior, even though it really wasn't a big deal.
"Hey, roomie," Jisung greeted, and Felix smiled at his roommate before sitting down next to Changbin. "You're lucky I'm your roommate, Felix. Minho will tell you I'm considerate."
Minho hummed in agreement and leaned in to press a sloppy kiss to Jisung's cheek. "He is."
"Gross, there are children here," Changbin complained, covering Jeongin's eyes.
"How long have you two been together?" Felix asked suddenly, and Minho pulled away from his boyfriend's face to look at Felix with a smile.
"Three years and forty-two days," the third-year answered proudly, lightly tapping the side of Jisung's face. "Have you ever been with anyone?"
Felix shook his head, and everyone visibly gasped. "What?"
"Girls are all over me because I'm Australian," Chan stated before taking a bite out of his sandwich. "They were disappointed when they found out I was gay."
"No one's really ever been 'all over me'," Felix admitted, and Minho pouted.
"It's because you give off this shy, kind of feeble aura," Hyunjin replied. "Chan-hyung is confident and knows he's good-looking and people like confidence. No homo."
Chan held up his sandwich in a way that said 'I get it' before taking another bite out of it.
"Felix, when you find the right person, you'll just know," Minho reassured. "Jisung is my first everything, believe it or not."
Seungmin rolled his eyes from next to the couple.
"How did you two meet?" Felix asked, and Hyunjin and Seungmin groaned.
"Please, no more questions," the second-year cried dramatically, and Woojin slapped his arm.
"I'll tell you later," Minho replied with a smile and a wink.
"Hey, give me your phone for a minute," Changbin requested, holding his hand out.
Felix gave him a questioning look but gave his phone to him anyway, but not before unlocking it.
"What are you doing?" He asked curiously, looking over Changbin's shoulder at what he was doing with his phone.
Changbin didn't answer and instead opted for opening Felix's contacts app. The brunette smiled at the fact that Felix's mother was his most recently called contact. Felix watched as the older boy put his number into his phone and saved it under 'your friend from physics :)'.
"We have a Whatsapp group chat," Changbin stated. "You wouldn't want to miss the legendary conversations that take place there."
Felix felt himself smile and nodded, taking his phone back from Changbin and messaging the brunette a simple 'hello'.
Changbin made sure Felix wasn't watching before he saved his number under 'Lix 🧡'.
~*~
minho's hoes
minho🌈, jisung🐿️, seungmin👦, hyunjin😴, jeongin😄, chan🇦🇺, woojin🐻, your friend from physics :), you
minho🌈
guys, what's more gay? -6:42PM
hyunjin😴
oh god -6:42PM
minho🌈
being gay or listening to k-pop? -6:43PM
seungmin👦
you do both of those things -6:44PM
minho🌈
exactly. so am i double gay? -6:44PM
your friend from physics :)
what does 'double gay' even mean lmao -6:46PM
jisung🐿️
i doubt you can be anymore gay than you already are, min -6:47PM
minho🌈
and that, my friends, is the correct answer. love you ji ❤️ -6:47PM
jisung🐿️
love you too 💖 -6:48PM
jeongin😄
you guys are so cute! -6:49PM
hyunjin😴
don't encourage them -6:50PM
Felix looked over at his phone which kept lighting up. He'd put it on silent the moment he'd stepped into his dorm, as he still had Physics work to do. Changbin was supposed to help Felix catch up on what he'd missed but the two of them ended up texting each other memes. He hadn't changed Changbin's name on his phone from 'your friend from physics :)' purely because he'd forgotten.
He liked the name but when he saw the names of the others as what they had set for themselves, not seeing Changbin's name confused him.
your friend from physics :)
hyunjin, stop being salty. they're in love -6:53PM
hyunjin😴
so are chan-hyung and woojin-hyung but they don't rub it in our faces -6:54PM
woojin🐻
don't bring me into this, i'm innocent -6:54PM
i didn't know chan-hyung and woojin-hyung were together -6:55PM
hyunjin😴
exactly -6:56PM
minho🌈
felix, honey, there's a lot of things you don't know -6:56PM
minho🌈
this one time, last year actually, hyunjin was sleeping in biology and when the teacher tried waking him up he called her mum and threw up -6:57PM
hyunjin😴
i hate you so much -6:58PM
minho🌈
on her -6:58PM
Felix giggled at the messages being sent his way. He imagined Jisung would be laughing from his workplace if his break wasn't already over. He actually counted himself lucky that Jisung wasn't here, because he really did have to catch up on Physics.
minho🌈
online
minho🌈
hiya honey :) -7:01PM
Well, there goes catching up on Physics.
hello :) -7:02PM
minho🌈
are you busy right now? -7:02PM
minho🌈
you asked me how ji and i met earlier and i said i would tell you later -7:03PM
minho🌈
i can wait until another time if you're busy :) -7:03PM
it's ok, i'm not really busy :) -7:04PM
minho🌈
it won't take long anyway. seungmin and hyunjin just don't like me talking about it because they're forever aloners -7:05PM
minho🌈
jisung and i went to the same high school along with the others but he was always two years below me so i never saw much of him but he was performing in one of our school's concerts with his guitar and since seungmin was really close to him he dragged me along bc no one else wanted to go. i kind of started liking him when i saw him play :) -7:07PM
that's so cute :((( -7:08PM
minho🌈
then we got together in my last year of high school! - 7:09PM
you two seem really good for each other :) -7:09PM
minho🌈
haha i hear that a lot :) -7:10PM
minho🌈
if i'm being honest i think you'd look good with changbin -7:10PM
chanbignd? -7:10PM
*changbin? -7:11PM
minho🌈
yeah! i think you two would be cute together! -7:11PM
Felix bit his lip. Sure, he could admit Changbin was good looking but he'd only known the older boy for four days. Despite this, he had to admit they got on like a house on fire. Maybe that's why Minho thought they would look good together.
i've only known him for four days -7:13PM
minho🌈
and? that performance was the first time i'd really met jisung and we started dating literally a week later. give it some time and you might find that changbin is perfect for you ;) -7:14PM
And with that, Minho was gone, leaving Felix to ponder over whether the possibility of him and Changbin would be a good idea.
~*~
"Hey, d'you wanna study somewhere else today?" Changbin asked as he and Felix began packing up their things from Physics.
Mr. Lee (Felix still called him 'Moustache-man') had decided to set the class of probably around 82 students a mid-term exam to see whether they really had been listening during his boring lectures. Felix could safely say he had been listening around 65% of the time, but he wasn't so sure about Changbin.
Felix thought about playing the 'new student' card to get himself excused from the exam but he was already being labelled in his class as 'The New Aussie Kid', and he really didn't fancy being labelled as 'The Snaky New Aussie Kid'.
"Sure," the redhead shrugged, hiking his rucksack up and over his shoulder. Changbin zipped up his own rucksack and looked up at Felix with a smile as he threw his own bag over his shoulder, glasses slipping over the bridge of his nose.
Felix had to admit that ever since Changbin started wearing glasses, he'd definitely found him more attractive. That didn't go to say that Changbin wasn't attractive without them, but the younger boy found that the round frames really did wonders for Changbin's face structure.
"You wear glasses?" Felix remembered asking a few weeks ago when Changbin showed up to Physics in the biggest pair of thin-framed spectacles he had ever seen.
"I'm supposed to," Changbin had answered as he slumped down tiredly into his desk. "I stopped wearing them last year and, I hate to admit but, my vision got worse. So, the glasses are back."
Felix remembered the way he stared at Changbin's face for a good five seconds, and the way that Changbin had raised an eyebrow at him and waved his hand in front of his face as if Felix was caught in some kind of trance.
"You look good with glasses," the Australian recalled blurting out so suddenly it made Changbin flinch.
Felix was pretty sure he'd saved the image of Changbin's big smile to his memory, but every time he saw it, it made something in his stomach do somersaults. Changbin had that kind of smile that could make anyone else smile even if they didn't know him. And for the people who did know him...
"Felix, you're doing it again," Changbin chuckled, waving a hand in front of the younger's face, causing the redhead to blink a few times before looking at Felix quizzically. "You did that thing where you just stare at me and don't say anything for a few seconds."
Felix shook his head as if trying to snap himself out of it and looked up at Changbin again, not staring this time.
"Sorry," he apologised feebly and Changbin smiled softly.
"No problem," the brunette replied. "Come on, we should get going before Minho finds us and drags us to watch him and Jisung make out for an hour."
Felix laughed at the sour tone and expression on Changbin's face, watching the way his long nose scrunched up at the thought of his two friends.
"You have to admit, though, they are cute together," the freckled-faced boy admitted, and Changbin gave him a sad sort-of look.
"You've been spending too much time with Jeongin," the older boy complained, pushing open the heavy door of the lecture hall and holding it open for Felix to exit after him.
Instead of turning left like they normally would do, Changbin turned right after leaving the lecture hall and Felix would be helpless if he didn't follow him.
"Where are we going?" He asked, following Changbin up a flight of stairs.
"The roof," the brunette answered casually, and Felix almost tripped over the next step. "Don't worry, it's not that high. They have a separate roof for each floor so if you fall off this one, you won't die."
"Dude," Felix choked out, and Changbin laughed loudly.
"You won't fall off, 'Lix," he reassured. "I'll protect you."
There was something so stupidly simple about those three words that made Felix want to hit himself for being affected by them. Perhaps it was the way Changbin said them, or the lopsided smile he gave him over his shoulder, but Felix willed his heart to stop beating so fast. Of course it didn't work.
"I didn't even know students were allowed up here," Felix commented in awe as he stepped out onto the roof. There were a few small groups of other students already sitting around, some eating lunch and some just talking.
There were safety bars around the perimeter of the roof, and Felix sighed out in relief when he saw those - very ugly - green bars.
"Yeah, teachers don't tell you about it and then when you do find it, you feel really accomplished," Changbin replied, sitting down against a wall away from the other people. To Changbin's left were a row of safety bars and to his right was another wall, blocking his and Felix's existence from the other students sitting up there.
Felix took a seat against the wall to Changbin's right, pulling out his chunky Physics textbook and his pencil case.
"I can't believe Moustache-man is making us do an exam after two and a half months of nothing," Changbin sighed. "I can't believe he's making you do an exam after a month and a half of nothing."
Felix shrugged. "I don't mind. I would've had to do it at some point and waiting to do it at a later time would just put me at a disadvantage because then I would have twice the material to learn."
"You're way too optimistic," Changbin shook his head, and Felix bit his lip uncertainly.
The two of them began working in silence for a few minutes before Changbin suddenly looked up at Felix, who had now pushed a headband up into his orange hair.
"Say something to me in English," the brunette requested, and Felix's head whipped up too fast for it to not be uncomfortable.
"What?" the younger boy asked, and Changbin smiled, shuffling closer so he was sitting directly in front of Felix.
"Say something to me in English," he repeated. "Pretty please? I want to see if your Australian accent is heavier than Chan-hyung's."
"U-Um..." Felix stammered, wracking his brain for something to say to Changbin.
Suddenly, Felix's brain locked on a set of words, and even though he thought it was risky to say them, he figured he didn't have anything to lose. Plus, looking at Changbin's waiting face, he really didn't want to disappoint him.
"I think your glasses make you look really hot," Felix spoke in full English, trying his hardest not to blush and give himself away.
"All I got from that was 'glasses'," Changbin replied, eyes sparkling with amazement.
"I said they're really cool," Felix lied, smiling at Changbin.
"That's so awesome," the older boy gasped. "Your accent isn't as thick as Chan-hyung's but your voice is definitely deeper. I got chills."
Felix wasn't too sure if that was a compliment or not, but he blushed nonetheless.
~*~
At around eight PM, Felix finally made it back to his dorm.
He and Changbin didn't have anymore lessons for the rest of the day, so the two of them decided to walk around the town and do whatever. They ate lunch at Changbin's favourite fast-food joint, somewhere Felix had never been due to his unfamiliarity to the area, and the younger swore he'd never tasted a burger so good in his life.
They went to the library to pick up some more books for Physics as the textbooks Moustache-man had given them were just as mind-numbingly boring as his lectures. After that, they didn't really do much. Changbin found out that Felix moved universities so quickly because his mother was sick and in need of medical attention in this area. Changbin wished for a speedy recovery, and Felix thanked him sadly.
Changbin figured Felix was in need of some cheering up, and took him to the arcade where him and the others visited frequently. He had bragged about his skills on claw machines and Felix wasn't disappointed when the older male won him a Pikachu plush.
Noticing the time was so late, they decided to head back to their dorms respectively, and Changbin promised Felix he would text him tomorrow to 'study'. Felix knew they would end up messing around and not really studying.
When he unlocked the door to his and Jisung's dorm room, the last thing he'd expected to see was his roommate and his enthusiastic boyfriend making out on Jisung's bed.
At first, the orange-haired boy thought they were doing something a lot more...risqué when he saw Minho straddling Jisung's lap, which caused him to screech out loud and cover his eyes with Pikachu.
"I'm sorry!" He squeaked, face as red as Jeongin's hair, and the two suddenly broke away from each other, Minho moving so fast he rolled off of the bed.
"Felix!" The third-year exclaimed, picking himself up off of the floor.
Felix hesitated in bringing the plush toy away from his eyes, but when he did, he was met with two flushed faces and heads of disheveled hair.
"I-I can leave if you two need some...space," he mumbled quietly, clutching Pikachu in his hands and Jisung shook his head.
"Where have you been today?" The squirrel-looking boy asked. "You and Changbin didn't come and sit with us earlier."
"Oh, we were studying on the roof," Felix answered casually, closing the door behind him and shuffling awkwardly over to his bed.
"The roof?" Minho exclaimed, crawling over Jisung's lap (and ignoring his grunts of discomfort) to sit himself on the side of his boyfriend's bed, facing Felix.
"Yeah," Felix answered, carefully placing his Pikachu plush on his desk next to his laptop and turning around to see Minho and Jisung staring at him with wide eyes. "What?"
"Oh my God, Ji. Changbin took him to the roof," Minho gasped, looking back at his boyfriend who looked just as shocked as he did.
"W-What?" Felix asked, panic rising in his chest. "What's wrong with the roof? Did someone die there or something?"
Jisung shook his head, and Minho stood up from his boyfriend's bed to crawl onto Felix's, scurrying over to the younger boy on his knees and taking his cold hands into his own warm ones.
"Oh, he looks so scared," Minho cooed, eyebrows creasing in worry as he looked back at Jisung. "What do we tell him, Ji?"
"Will one of you just tell me what's so bad about the roof?" Felix asked exasperatedly, and Minho looked back at him, bottom lip between his teeth.
"Felix, honey, the roof is kind of a first date location..." The third-year explained. "Where else did Changbin take you today?"
"He took me to this burger joint for lunch, the library to get more Physics book a-and the arcade," the redhead admitted shyly. "He won me that Pikachu plush."
Minho looked over Felix's shoulder at the happy little Pikachu plush sitting contentedly on his desk.
"Oh, God, Ji..." Minho whispered, and Jisung got up from his bed to sit next to Minho on Felix's.
"Felix, what Minho's trying to say here," the brown-haired boy began, noticing the confusion and fear written on his roommate's face. "Is that Changbin kind of took you on a date today."
If Felix could look anymore confused than he already was, then he did.
"B-But we're not dating..." He argued so feebly, he almost didn't hear himself. "W-We just went to study then out because we had no more lessons..."
Minho's hands moved up from Felix's hands to his face, cupping the boy's chubbier cheeks in his warm palms.
"Jisung, we're losing him!" He exclaimed, and Felix frowned at the third-year before swatting his hands away from his face.
"Stop it," he snapped, and Minho looked up at the first-year with a dejected look in his eyes as he fell to sit on his knees. "You're blowing this way out of proportion. He didn't take me on a 'date', we just messed about like friends do. Because that's all we are: just friends."
Felix felt his voice crack before he heard it, and that was when he realised he was crying. Hearing his own voice utter those two words, he couldn't help but let the tears fall from his eyes.
"Felix, it's ok," Minho's honey-like voice only made the boy cry more, and the third-year took it upon himself to stand up from Felix's bed so he could hug the younger boy. "You didn't know, it's ok. Changbin probably didn't know, it's not your fault."
"We're just friends, hyung," Felix sobbed brokenly into Minho's shoulder. "That's all we are."
"Do you want to be more than 'just friends', Felix?" Jisung asked softly, his hand coming to rest on his roommate's shoulder.
"I don't know," the redhead cried, and Minho gave his boyfriend a sad, concerned look.
"It will be ok, Felix," the third-year promised. "We'll sort it out, I promise."
~*~
changbin🌹
last seen today at 07:52
hey i can't come to physics today -8:04AM
changbin🌹
why not? is everything ok? -8:05AM
i'm ok. my mum isn't -8:05AM
they need to run some tests on her and i really don't feel comfortable leaving her there -8:06AM
i haven't visited her for a while either -8:06AM
will you tell moustache-man i won't be there? -8:07AM
changbin🌹
nah, i'll come with you -8:08AM
what? -8:09AM
changbin🌹
you said you don't feel comfortable leaving her there -8:09AM
changbin🌹
well i don't feel comfortable leaving my best friend alone when he's sad -8:10AM
There it was. The word which Felix hated so much. Only, this time Changbin had taken it and multiplied it by ten thousand. He was no longer just a friend, but a best friend. Felix figured he should be happy about that, but just looking at the two words put together left a bitter taste in his mouth.
what about the exam? -8:11AM
changbin🌹
fuck the exam. your mum is definitely more important. -8:12AM
changbin🌹
what's your dorm number? i'll be there in ten -8:12AM
~*~
"Lee Felix," Felix introduced himself at the front desk. "I'm here to visit my mother."
"And I'm here for emotional support," Changbin spoke up, and the lady behind the desk smiled at them both.
"Do you know where her room is?" The lady asked, and Felix nodded. "I'll let them know you're coming."
"Thank you," Felix smiled weakly as he and Changbin began making their way up to the fourth floor.
Changbin looked down at Felix's hands and noticed that he was playing with the cuffs of his hoodie's sleeves. He could tell the younger boy was nervous, maybe even scared, and he wanted to help him.
Without thinking, Changbin let his hand fall next to Felix's, lightly gripping onto his left wrist and tugging it away from his hoodie. Felix flinched, but let Changbin slowly intertwine their fingers. The brunette's hand was warm against Felix's much colder one, and he let out a shaky breath as the two of them reached his mother's room.
Felix raised his other trembling hand to gently knock on the door separating him from his mother. He received a small 'come in' in response and pushed open the wooden door.
His mother didn't look too bad (Felix had honestly expected her to look a lot worse, with tubes up her nose and IV drips connected to her arms). She was just a bit pale and looked kind of tired. Maybe now wasn't a very good time to visit her.
"Hi, Mum," he greeted softly, and Changbin squeezed his hand when he heard the younger boy's voice tremble.
"Yongbok?" His mother questioned, and Felix smiled gently at her. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a lesson?"
Felix - reluctantly - let go of Changbin's hand to move over to his mother's bedside, sitting down on the chair already placed there.
"I do but the hospital rang me this morning to tell me you were having tests done and I realised how much I missed you," the redhead explained, his voice cracking as he sniffled. "I'll go to my lesson after I'm done here, Mum, I promise."
Felix's mother smiled at him before her eyes fell onto Changbin, who was still standing awkwardly at the door.
"Who's this handsome-looking young man?" She asked, and Felix giggled.
"Seo Changbin, ma'am," Changbin introduced himself, bowing politely at the older woman. "I'm Felix's friend."
Felix's mother placed a hand on her son's arm. "Oh, he's so polite, Yongbok. He's perfect for you."
Felix blushed heavily but looked at Changbin anyway, who was smiling at his mother like that was the best thing he'd heard all year.
"Did they find anything with the tests?" Felix asked, trying to change the subject.
Changbin moved so he wasn't blocking the doorway and went to stand behind Felix, giving the redhead's hair a few reassuring and comforting strokes to ease his nerves. Felix loved the way Changbin's hands felt in his hair.
"Nothing good," Felix's mother answered with a disappointed sigh. "But I guess it can't be helped."
"How many tests do they have to run to find out how they can help you?" Felix asked, clearly irritated by the hospital's lack of improvement.
"Yongbok, sweetie, I'm getting old," the older woman said softly, squeezing Felix's arm.
"You're only 58, Mum..." He argued weakly. "There are people in the world living 'till their 100s. We moved here to get you the help you need and they can't even provide it."
Changbin's hand moved from Felix's hair to his shoulder, giving it a short squeeze in hopes that it would remind Felix he needed to calm down a bit.
"I'll be ok, Yongbok," she reassured with a small smile, looking up at Changbin after. "Now tell me about Changbin, he seems so sweet."
~*~
An hour later, and Felix and Changbin were finally leaving the younger's mother's hospital room. The whole time, Felix had been holding back his tears and Changbin could tell. So, he wasn't surprised when the moment the door closed behind them, Felix broke down.
He cried for what felt like hours into Changbin's shoulder, the shorter boy hugging him as tightly as he could without suffocating his freckled friend.
"Felix, it will be ok," he reassured softly, one hand reaching up to card through orange locks. "She seems like someone who'll fight to stay alive, you know she is. She would never give up without a fight."
"She's all I have left, Changbin," Felix sobbed, and Changbin pulled away from him to cup his face in his hands.
"No, she isn't," the brunette replied sternly yet also softly. "You have me. You have Minho and Jisung. You have Chan and Woojin and Jeongin and Seungmin and Hyunjin. We'll all be here for you if the worst comes to worst. Remember when I said I would protect you?"
Felix nodded.
"I meant it. I'll protect you, 'Lix. I'll be here for you no matter what happens. Do you trust me?"
Felix nodded again, and Changbin smiled, rubbing his thumb over Felix's cheekbone, catching a falling tear on the pad of his thumb.
"Good."
~*~
Two weeks later and Felix found himself no closer to Changbin than he was before the two of him went to visit Felix's mother.
They had both been cracking down on studying, which meant they hadn't really seen much of each other save for Physics lessons. Changbin had admitted to Felix that neither of them really worked well when they were together, since they talked too much, and Felix understood completely.
This led to Felix locking himself in his and Jisung's dorm for the past two weeks just so he could study in peace. He didn't mind when Minho was around as he always found comfort in the older boy. Despite only being two years older than Felix, Minho seemed to know everything. He was wise and kind and Felix really did look up to him.
Headband pushed up into his messy orange hair, Felix scribbled out formulas until he heard the door open behind him.
"Hey, Felix," Jisung greeted, closing the door quietly behind him.
"Hi, hyung," the younger boy mumbled, turning the page in his textbook.
"I've told you before, you don't need to call me 'hyung'," Jisung repeated with a light chuckle. "I'm literally a day older than you."
"Sorry, hyung," Felix muttered, clearly not paying attention to the squirrel-like boy.
"Felix, you've been studying non-stop for this exam for two weeks," Jisung stated. "I don't think you've seen natural sunlight for even longer."
Felix put his pencil down and sighed heavily, turning around on his wheeled desk chair to face Jisung.
"I know," he replied sadly. "I just really want to pass. I promised my mum I would."
Jisung gave him a sad smile, moving to sit down on the younger's bed.
"Just don't push yourself," he encouraged. "Chan and Woojin said we can all go round to their apartment next week to celebrate even if you don't pass. You deserve a break."
"Thanks, Jisung," Felix replied tiredly. "I didn't know Chan and Woojin had an apartment."
"They're real men."
~*~
In retrospect, Felix shouldn't have panicked at all. He knew he was pretty good at Physics, and he learnt stuff exceptionally quickly. He'd just put extra pressure on himself because he promised his mother he would pass. In reality, he passed with flying colours - the highest grade in the class.
"Dude, you did so good!" Changbin exclaimed, clapping Felix on the book as he gawked over his best friend's paper. "98 out of 100...wow."
"What did you get?" The younger boy asked, taking Changbin's paper from his hands before the other had a chance to stop him. "82 isn't bad either. This paper was really bad."
"Yeah, but for someone who took that paper with a month-long gap in knowledge, you showed us all up, 'Lix," the brunette grinned, and Felix felt his cheeks heat up again, so he looked down at his paper. "Did Chan-hyung tell you about the thing over at his place tonight?"
"Jisung did," Felix replied. "Are you going to go?"
"Of course," the older boy answered. "But only if you will. I think it will be a good opportunity to learn more about us."
Felix nodded stiffly. "I'll go. Jisung said I needed a break, anyway."
The smile that Changbin gave him Felix carried over all the way to later that night. Minho came to his and Jisung's dorm looking like he was hitting the club, with jeans so tight they looked like they were painted on and a dark grey jumper tucked into said jeans.
Felix figured he would just wear what he wore to his classes that day, blue jeans and an over-sized blue-green flannel shirt. He didn't think the celebration was that grand that he would need to dress up for it, but he chalked that aspect down to Minho's exuberant personality.
Jisung himself didn't look too thrilled to be going somewhere tonight, Felix judged by the way that he clung to Minho like a koala that he had places he would rather be. Felix tried not to take it personally.
The anxiety Felix had felt going to this new place dispersed as soon as he saw Changbin laying on one of Chan and Woojin's sofas, scrolling through his phone. Jeongin was there taking care of a partially tipsy Hyunjin and Seungmin was laughing at the two as Jeongin struggled to keep Hyunjin from kissing his face.
Changbin hadn't changed from what he was wearing in Physics, either, still rocking the same black ripped jeans and red t-shirt, accompanied by his grey denim jacket and his black Vans placed very neatly on the shoe rack.
"Come in, we have snacks!" Woojin grabbed Felix's wrist and tugged him into the house. "You don't drink, do you?"
Felix shook his head, and Changbin smiled from his spot on the sofa.
"Looks like we'll be the only sober ones tonight, Felix-hyung," Jeongin piped up from where he was sitting on the floor, Hyunjin now laying on his lap.
"Hey, I'll still be sober," Changbin laughed, lifting his feet up from the rest of the couch when he spotted Felix eyeing the spot next to him cautiously.
"Everyone sit, we're playing Never Have I Ever!" Woojin instructed, dragging Chan to sit with him on the last available couch, and Felix was sure he'd never seen the oldest so happy.
Minho and Jisung squeezed up onto the one armchair in the room while Jeongin, Seungmin and Hyunjin remained on the floor.
"I'll start!" Minho chirped, holding up his eight fingers and two thumbs. "Never have I ever given someone a blowjob in public."
Minho turned around to give Jisung a mischievous look, and the younger of the two rolled his eyes before lowering one of his fingers.
"Ew, nasty!" Jeongin whined while the others cheered.
Felix could already tell this was going to be an interesting night.
~*~
It was probably around one in the morning when Minho proposed the idea of Spin the Bottle since Never Have I Ever had become boring very quickly, what with Jeongin and Felix always remaining on nine or ten and Minho and Jisung always being the first to reach zero.
Upon hearing the new game they would be playing, Felix's heartbeat immediately picked up in his chest, and he couldn't help but look over at Changbin. He had long since come to terms with how he felt about his best friend, and with a game about kissing now on the table, Felix's gaze lingered over the brunette's lips for a little too long.
"G-Guys, I've never..." The orange-haired boy started, and suddenly all eyes were on him.
"It's ok, Felix, it's only us!" Minho reassured, smiling brightly at the Australian boy. "Jeongin's up for it!"
"Who said I was up for it?" Jeongin suddenly screeched, and that was when Hyunjin reached up for Jeongin's face, grabbing him and pulling him down for a wet kiss, causing the youngest to scream.
"Yeah, but I don't really want my first kiss to be with someone else's boyfriend," Felix mumbled, only loud enough for Changbin to hear while the others were laughing at Jeongin's misfortune.
"Ok, we're definitely playing this," Chan chuckled, moving to sit on the floor next to a traumatised Jeongin. "Come on, you guys; don't be buzzkills."
Changbin lightly tugged on the sleeve of Felix's shirt, pulling him into the circle with him and giving him a warm smile once the two were seated.
"I'll go first!" Seungmin offered when Minho returned from the kitchen with an empty beer bottle in his hand. The boy took it from his friend's hand and laid it on the carpeted floor beneath him, spinning it and watching as the bottle landed to face Chan
Seungmin shrugged and shuffled forwards on his knees, Chan meeting him halfway for a quick kiss that lasted probably around two seconds. Felix was in awe at how Woojin was ok with his boyfriend kissing someone else. If Felix was with someone, he definitely wouldn't be smiling how Woojin was if his boyfriend kissed someone else in front of him.
"Alright, my turn!" Chan exclaimed, leaning forward and spinning the bottle.
Felix watched, his heart beating so loudly in his chest, he could hardly stand it. He sighed in relief when the bottle landed on Jeongin, the redhead still recovering from his kiss with Hyunjin.
"Hyung, you're like a dad to me, I can't kiss you," Jeongin whined, and Chan rolled his eyes.
"Stop being a baby," Chan teased, crawling over to Jeongin.
Felix actually felt sorry for the youngest, watching as he squeezed his eyes shut and lightly pecked his hyung's lips.
"You turn, Jeongin!" Minho exclaimed, and Jeongin gave him a very sad look.
"Please don't make me kiss anyone else," he practically begged, and Minho shook his head.
"Last one, ok? And then you can quit the game," Jisung proposed, and Jeongin eventually gave in
He leaned in to spin the bottle and Felix watched in horror as the bottle landed on Changbin. Jeongin and Changbin shared a look that Felix couldn't quite read before the youngest sighed.
"I don't actually mind kissing Changbin-hyung," he muttered. "He's nice to me, unlike you guys."
Felix didn't want to watch but he also couldn't not watch. Then everyone would know he was affected and his secret would be out for the world to see. Minho did look over at Felix and saw the younger boy playing with his fingers in his lap, and he actually felt bad about proposing the idea of Spin the Bottle. His main intention was to get Changbin and Felix to kiss, not for Changbin to kiss someone else.
Felix watched for the first second as Jeongin's thin lips connected to Changbin's thicker ones but after that the pain in his chest became unbearable. Before the two had even finished, Felix was up from the floor, wringing his hands anxiously in front of him.
"I-I just remembered I have something to do," he stammered with a shaky voice as he shuffled over to the shoe rack to get his trainers. "Th-Thank you for having me round, hyungs."
Changbin was looking at Felix with so much confusion written on his face that Felix couldn't stand to look at him anymore. With that one look, Felix left, and he hadn't seen Changbin for three weeks after that.
~*~
Two days after the Spin the Bottle incident, Felix received the news that his mother had passed away.
He was already in a big enough state as it was with the memory of Jeongin and Changbin kissing plaguing his mind every waking second of every single day, and what made him feel even worse was the fact that he shouldn't even be this upset.
Felix had a bad habit of blowing things way out of proportion when he was upset or angry, and this was a prime example of him doing just that. It was just a stupid game where most of the people involved had been drinking, and Felix should've known he shouldn't be upset with Changbin or Jeongin.
How was Changbin supposed to know about his best friend's crush on him if Felix hadn't even told him?
But even worse than that, Felix's mother...
Minho decided to pay the redhead a visit while Jisung was at work and that was when Felix broke down. Minho was so happy and Felix was so sad, he just couldn't help it.
"God, I'm so sorry, Felix," the third-year had apologised with such sincerity that it only made Felix cry more.
The two of them ended up huddled on Felix's bed and to say Jisung was confused when he got back from his shift at the local convenience store was a complete understatement.
"His mum died," Minho whispered to his boyfriend, careful not to wake the sleeping Felix in his arms, and Jisung's frown immediately subsided.
He didn't go to Physics, either - not for a good few weeks. Felix didn't leave his dorm for a good few weeks either, since he shared a bathroom with Jisung, he had everything he needed right in the comfort of a small bedroom.
Food didn't appear to be an issue, either, as everything Jisung and Minho brought him to eat he wouldn't touch, and while Felix did feel bad for them wasting their money on him, he was in this state of immense grief and he knew it would take a while for him to snap out of it.
Changbin had also made it a habit of sending Felix at least twenty text messages a day even though Felix wasn't answering any of them.
Lix🧡
last seen 14 Nov 2018
lix please message me -5:28PM
please -5:28PM
i'm really worried about you -5:29PM
you know i care about you so much -5:30PM
you're my best friend, felix -5:30PM
i can't imagine my life without you -5:31PM
you honestly mean so much to me lix -5:32PM
please message me... -5:32PM
05 Dec 2018
i heard about your mum... -11:46PM
felix i'm so sorry -11:47PM
felix if you ever need anyone to talk to you know i'm here -11:47PM
i love you buddy 💕 -11:48PM
~*~
"Felix?"
The orange-haired boy looked up when he heard his name, not surprised to see Minho and Jisung standing in the doorway. Who he was surprised to see, though, was none other than Seo Changbin.
When Felix's eyes set on the older brunette standing just behind his roommate and his roommate's boyfriend, he held eye contact with him for a few seconds before he looked back down at his hands.
"He hasn't moved from that spot for three weeks, as far as we're concerned," Minho whispered to Changbin, and Felix wondered if he knew he could hear him. "We figured you would be the one to get him up again."
"I'll give it a go," Changbin shrugged, almost like he didn't want to be here.
"Well, we have classes now, so good luck," Jisung gave Changbin a reassuring pat on the back before he and Minho left, leaving Changbin to close the door behind him.
He stood awkwardly in the doorway for a few agonising seconds before hearing Felix sniffle, and that was when Changbin moved. He did so slowly as not to startle his best friend.
"Felix?" Changbin spoke softly, taking a seat on the side of the younger's bed. He'd never seen Felix like this before, pale-faced and skin practically drooping from his cheekbones. It was evident that Felix definitely hadn't been eating properly, and seeing his best friend like this almost made Changbin want to cry. "Felix, you know you can trust me."
Felix squeezed his eyes shut, almost wishing that when he opened them, Changbin wouldn't be there. He couldn't deal with the pain, couldn't stand the oh-so familiar scent of Changbin that drew him to him in the first place. The more he sat there, his crush in front of him, the more Felix wanted to cry.
"I get that it hurts, 'Lix, I really do," the brunette placed his hand gently on Felix's knee, and that one bit of contact was what caused Felix to break down.
His body began to shake with silent sobs and when Changbin leaned in to hug him, they became audible. It felt so good to have Changbin in his arms again, even if it was the other way around. It felt good to just have Changbin close to him again after three long, painful weeks.
But when he thought of Changbin being this close to him, hands in his hair and mouth whispering sweet nothings into his ear, Felix was only reminded of how close he was to Jeongin on the night of the kiss, and he shoved Changbin away from him way harder than he'd intended to.
"Felix, wha-"
"No, you don't get it!" Felix suddenly yelled, all the pain, anger, sadness that he'd felt these past three weeks boiling over. Now that Changbin was here, he could express how he really felt. "You'll never get it, Changbin!"
To say that Changbin looked shocked was an understatement. His eyes were wide with confusion, and his mouth kept opening and closing like a fish. Felix thought he'd gone too far for a moment, and then Changbin's look of confusion turned into a frown.
"If you're saying I don't get what it's like to lose a loved one, then you're wrong," he replied, his tone bitter and gaze stone-fierce.
Again, the calmer side of Felix's brain told him to apologise, to be calm and explain to Changbin what he meant. But, the panicked and frantic side of his brain won over as it always did, and Felix decided to fight fire with fire.
"I'm not talking about that, you fucking idiot!" He yelled, the two sides of his brain screaming at each other within his head.
He was hurting all over. His head was pounding with emotions, tears were streaming down his face and his entire body was trembling with a mix of anger and sadness.
"Felix, would you stop yelling at me and actually talk to me? You know, like a normal fucking person!" Changbin yelled.
'Mighty hypocritical,' Felix thought to himself.
Felix stood up from his spot on his bed, hands trembling as he brought them up to rub at his teary eyes furiously.
"No, because you don't understand, Changbin!" The Australian boy cried, heaving breaths leaving his mouth as his legs trembled and he fell to the floor, crying out loudly for the world to hear as his hands curled into fists on the carpeted floor.
Changbin didn't know what to do. Of course he was still angry at Felix for yelling and insulting him for no reason, but knowing the younger boy, he knew there must have been something seriously wrong for Felix to do that. Also, he kept saying Changbin 'didn't understand'. Didn't understand what? The brunette's mind was swimming with endless possibilities, but all he could think to do was to comfort his best friend. Forget yelling and screaming.
Kneeling down in front of Felix, Changbin gently reached out for the boy's clenched fists, Felix's hearty sobs causing something in his heart to droop.
"'Lix," he said softly as his hands came to rest over Felix's. "'Lix, it's ok."
"You don't-" Felix hiccuped between his sobs. "U-Understand, Changbin. You never w-will..."
"What don't I understand, Felix?" The eldest of the two asked, stroking over the redhead's white knuckles with his thumbs. "You have to tell me otherwise I'll never know."
Felix sniffled, his sobs calming down as Changbin continued to stroke his knuckles. Why were everyone else's hands so warm while Felix's were always so cold?
"A-At Chan-hyung's place..." Felix began, clenching his fists tighter, and Changbin dug his own fingers underneath Felix's hands to lightly intertwine his fingers with the younger boy's, as he did at the hospital. "W-When we played Spin the Bottle..."
Changbin shifted so he was sitting cross-legged instead of on his knees, and Felix paused in what he was saying. The brunette took it upon himself to reach up with one hand to cup Felix's face, and the younger looked up upon the contact. His eyes were teary and skin blotchy, and Changbin felt his own heart weep at the devastating sight.
"What about Spin the Bottle, 'Lix?" Changbin urged softly, smiling sweetly at his best friend and Felix squeezed his eyes shut.
"When you kissed Jeongin-" Felix cut himself off as he began sobbing again. This whole thing was so stupid. It was one stupid kiss at one stupid party that wasn't even a party. "-I-I watched a-and it was like you were shoving your whole fist into my chest and r-ripping my heart out, Changbin! I-I wanted to be Jeongin at that point, b-but I never will be!"
Changbin watched in silence as Felix sobbed again, the tears cascading down his cheeks like a waterfall. Felix took his silence as Changbin's way of telling him he was seriously fucked up and would never want to kiss him.
"J-Just go, Changbin, I should've n-never said anything," Felix hiccuped, trying to yank his hands out of Changbin's grip, but Changbin was dead set on keeping him there. "Let me go."
"Who said you would never be Jeongin?" He asked suddenly, and Felix stopped struggling.
All of a sudden, he felt tired. He wanted to sleep away all of this anguish and hope that when he woke up, this was all some freakish nightmare.
"It's obvious, Changbin," the redhead sighed. "You'll never want someone like me because I'm not good enough for you. I'm such a baby, I cry about everything and I blow everything out of proportion. Like that stupid kiss. It was just a part of some game, but when I saw it, it felt like reality. I-I really like you, Changbin, and I'm so shit at managing my feelings that I just either lash out or ignore everyone. Y-You didn't deserve that, Changbin..."
Changbin chuckled lightly, shaking his head as he did so, and Felix narrowed his eyebrows at him.
"Stop laughing, this is serious," Felix sniffled, and Changbin looked up at his best friend with a huge smile.
"God, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that," he replied, giving Felix no time to respond himself before he was leaning in and capturing Felix's lips in a kiss.
Changbin made sure the kiss was good, being Felix's first and all.
At first, Felix didn't kiss back, just sat there shocked as Changbin's warm lips moulded with his own.
"Felix," Changbin mumbled against his lips. "Kiss me back, you idiot."
Felix suddenly snapped out of his daze as he realised what was really happening. His eyes widened as he pressed his own lips back against Changbin's. He was sure Changbin probably didn't find the texture of his lips very pleasing, but Felix loved Changbin's.
The feeling, however, was gone all to quickly as Changbin pulled away, cocking his head to the side cutely and smiling at Felix.
"W-Why did you..." The redhead breathed out, mouth open ajar as he stared at Changbin in shock.
"Because I like you too," Changbin answered as if it was nothing, and Felix's heart started going a hundred miles per hour. "I was just waiting for you to tell me. I've been rejected before, no biggie, but I wanted you to come to me. Then I would know you were a hundred percent sure about this."
"You..." Felix said weakly, and Changbin laughed out loud.
"I love you, Lee Felix," the older boy stated, and Felix nearly choked on his spit.
All of a sudden, the younger boy lunged forward, tackling Changbin into a hug on the floor and causing the brunette to grunt in discomfort. Nonetheless, he hugged his best friend (he guessed he could call him his boyfriend) back, his hands threading into Felix's orange locks when he felt the younger boy shudder against him.
"I love you too," he mumbled into Changbin's chest, and the older boy decided then that that was enough for him.
~*~
When Minho and Jisung returned later that night, they were greeted with the sight of a sleeping Felix huddled close to Changbin on the younger's bed, one of Changbin's hands carding through his boyfriend's hair while the other one rubbed his arm up and down.
Minho had to stop himself from squealing and waking Felix up and instead opted for slapping Jisung's arm as a way of conveying his excitement.
The next day, Felix finally showed up to Physics.
He made sure to speak to Moustache-man about his absence and he seemed to understand perfectly, patting Felix on the back and giving him a sad smile before directing the boy to his seat next to Changbin.
The brunette was smiling so wide when Felix sat down next to him, and could barely refrain from leaning over to kiss his temple.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, lacing their hands together under their desks.
"Better," the redhead smiled. "She always said you were perfect for me."
"She has good taste."
The lesson continued as normal from there, Changbin occasionally giving Felix's hand small squeezes and running his thumb over his knuckles as a way of reminding him he was thinking of him even while working.
When they were excused two hours later, Felix realised he would probably have to explain himself to the others, which was something he definitely wasn't prepared for. He also wasn't prepared for Minho to jump up from Jisung's lap as soon as he saw the younger boy and run over to him, pouncing on Felix and hugging him so tightly he almost knocked him over.
"Hyung!" Felix squeaked, Changbin chuckling lightly beside him.
"Felix, honey, I'm so glad you're ok!" The third-year gushed. "You had us all worried!"
"Hey, you can't call him 'honey' anymore, ok?" Changbin clarified sternly, and Felix couldn't tell whether he was joking or being serious.
Minho stuck his tongue out at Changbin and took Felix by the hand, leading him over to the table. When they got there, Minho made a point by sitting on one of the only available chairs left instead of sitting on Jisung's lap like he was before.
This led to there only being one chair left, and Minho smiled devilishly at his two younger friends, causing Changbin to roll his eyes.
"You ok to sit on my lap?" He asked Felix quietly, and the latter blushed, but nodded nonetheless.
"Yay!" Minho clapped happily, and Hyunjin reached over to slap his hands.
"Jeongin, how many times have I told you I'm sorry for kissing you?" The second-year asked as Changbin took his seat and Felix sat down on his lap.
"Am I too heavy?" The Australian boy whispered, and Changbin shook his head as he wrapped his arms around Felix's waist.
"Not at all," Changbin replied in the same hushed tone, kissing his boyfriend's chubbier cheek softly.
"I was drunk and you know I lose pretty much all brain functions when I'm drunk!" Hyunjin was still arguing, trying to get Jeongin to talk to him. The boy sitting next to him was red-faced and looked like he was holding his breath when, all of a sudden, he looked up at Hyunjin and grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt, bringing him in for a searing kiss.
A chorus of 'ooh's arose from the table and Felix nearly choked on his orange juice.
"It's about time!" Seungmin exclaimed. "These two have been pining over each other since primary school!"
Felix smiled once he'd recovered from a near 'death by orange juice', and he felt Changbin tap on his waist. He looked down at his boyfriend and that was when Changbin pulled him down for a soft kiss.
"I love you," he mumbled, resting his forehead against Felix's when they pulled away, and Felix smiled nervously.
"I love you too."
~*~
Felix had to admit, in a very strange - probably not normal way - that Changbin looked awfully good in one of the university's black graduation cloaks and hats. He felt a new sense of pride wash over him as he watched his boyfriend walk up to the podium to accept his scroll and bow down to the headteacher.
Hyunjin was there too, of course. After all, it was his graduation too. But the only person Felix was focusing on was Changbin, like how the only person Jeongin was focusing on was Hyunjin.
Minho and Jisung were there too, supporting their friends, along with Woojin and Chan, as well as Seungmin, who was kind of like a fifth wheel at this point to his friendship group's relationships, not that he minded. He was just happy that everyone else was happy, per usual.
Felix waited patiently until the end of the ceremony, hands itching to touch Changbin again - not in a weird way. He never saw himself as a clingy boyfriend, but now that he had become completely comfortable around the others, he felt like he could be as clingy as he wanted to be with Changbin.
This meant sitting on his lap when there were no chairs left, or just because he wanted to, kissing him when he felt like showering his older boyfriend in love and affection or just hugging him like his life depended on it.
Of course, Felix was still his shy, innocent self, but he felt like he could talk to each of the others like he wasn't an outsider, which honestly felt great. And Changbin was happy for him. He knew Felix had had a rough time moving universities so quickly and with the death of his mother, and all he wanted was for his boyfriend to be the happiest he could be, which he definitely seemed to be.
He also didn't mind the fact that Felix was clingy. In fact, it was one thing that made him love his freckled-faced boyfriend even more. The fact that he always got to cuddle with him whenever they stayed round each other's dorms made Changbin look forward to the days where his roommate would stay round his girlfriend's dorm.
Felix also discovered that Changbin's roommate, a purple-haired guy called Wooyoung, was a super nice person, despite how intimidating and scary he looked. It made him realise that not everyone in the world was out to get him.
Even though Felix knew this was selfish, he couldn't help but want this day to be over so he could visit Changbin and Hyunjin's new place. While he did really want to check out the apartment the two had bought for themselves, he definitely just wanted to cuddle with Changbin a lot more.
He didn't know how he would be able to cope without Changbin in Physics anymore, and still didn't understand how Jisung had survived for a year already without Minho with him everyday. However, Jisung did seem a lot less clingy to Minho than Felix was to Changbin, so maybe that was the reason why he hadn't cried at Minho's graduation.
"Aww, you'll still see him around, Felix," Minho cooed, pulling the - now - second year into his chest for a hug.
"I know," the orange-haired boy sniffled pathetically. "I'll just really miss him."
"Believe it or not, Felix, I was like that when Min left," Jisung reassured. "I mean, I didn't cry but I was sad. If I know Changbin, which I do, he'll make sure to visit you everyday."
"Who's crying?" Hyunjin asked, popping his head round the side of the wall as he shrugged his hoodie on.
The brunette's - normally - sour expression changed into a light smile when he saw Jeongin, walking casually over to his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around his waist. He wasted no time in kissing Jeongin in a way that was very inappropriate for a university setting, and it made Felix wonder where the small, innocent Jeongin he had met on his first day went.
"Hi," Changbin whispered from behind Felix, causing the younger boy to flinch and turn around to face his own boyfriend. "Have you been crying?"
Felix brought his hand up to his face to rub at his eyes and gave Changbin a - very unconvincing - smile. Minho threw an arm around Felix's shoulder, nearly causing the boy to stumble.
"He'll miss you, Binnie," he pouted, and Felix looked down at his hands almost as if he were ashamed.
"I'll miss you too, 'Lix," Changbin cooed, lightly gripping Felix's hands in his. "Get off of my boyfriend, Min-hoe."
"Rude," Minho stuck his tongue out at Changbin before practically skipping over to Jisung.
"Felix, I'll still be around, you know I will," the brunette reassured, tipping Felix's chin up so he could look at his boyfriend's beautiful face. "I'll visit you everyday after your lessons, unless you're busy or need to study or something. But I got an A in Physics so you know I'll help you study round mine and Hyunjin's. And I'll text you everyday, no exceptions."
"You're the best," Felix mumbled, leaning forward to rest his head on his shorter boyfriend's shoulder. Believe it or not, Changbin had grown somewhat in the past year and a half, but Felix had always been there, one-upping him even though he didn't mean to.
"Only for you," Changbin replied, lifting Felix's face from his shoulder to press a gentle kiss to his lips, much gentler than Hyunjin and Jeongin who were full-on making out in the middle of the corridor at this point.
"Alright, kids, break it up," Seungmin said, pushing Jeongin and Hyunjin away from each other, causing both boys to frown at their friend. "Come on, we're going for something to eat."
"'Lix and I are going to head back to my place," Changbin announced, and everyone looked over at him in confusion, including Felix.
"It's my place too!" Hyunjin piped in, but no one was really listening to him.
"We are?" The orange-haired boy asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion.
"This is the last day I'll be able to spend with you fully until Summer, which isn't another two months for you," Changbin stated, reaching down to lace his fingers with Felix's. "I want to make the most of it."
"Use protection!" Minho shouted, and Hyunjin, Jeongin and Seungmin ganged up on him, slapping his head and poking his sides, reducing the boy to fits of giggles on the floor.
Changbin rolled his eyes as he watched his older friend, the third eldest in their friendship group nonetheless, have to be helped up by Jisung.
"We're not..." Felix began to ask shakily, and Changbin caught on immediately.
"Oh, no, of course not!" He reassured sweetly. "Only if you want to but you know I don't mind waiting for however long you need me to."
"Can we just...cuddle?" Felix asked, and Changbin nodded.
"Of course, babe, whatever you want," he answered, pecking his boyfriend's forehead. "I'll see you guys later!"
"Bye!" Jeongin and Minho called out at the same time, the others simply smiling at them.
Woojin gave Felix a hug (for some strange reason) and then the two were off, walking hand-in-hand back to Changbin and Hyunjin's apartment. They didn't talk much, but Felix felt safe knowing that Changbin was there with him.
"Hey, wanna know something crazy?" Changbin chuckled out, and Felix turned to look at him worriedly. "I honestly think I'm in love with you. I mean, I know I am, but the feeling just...amplifies whenever I'm with you. Like, when I think of you, it's normal. My heart beats a little faster when I text you or when you post something cute on Snapchat, but when I see you it's like the Gods of love are just reaching into my chest and squeezing my heart. Does that make sense?"
"D-Do you sometimes feel like you can't breathe when you're around me?" Felix asked nervously, and Changbin hummed in response. "A-And when you go to sleep that night, you'll dream about me and think about how lucky you are to have me. And you'll wake up the next morning thinking it was all some dream, but then you'll look at your phone and you'll see a text me from me and you'll think 'I love this boy so much'."
Changbin was silent, and Felix looked up at him hesitantly.
"Is that how you feel about me?" The brunette asked, and Felix nodded stiffly. "God, I love you."
Changbin squeezed Felix's hand, and the redhead felt himself smile as his cheeks heated up. He couldn't believe this was real, couldn't believe he found someone who loved him and cared for him like he did for Changbin. It was the kind of relationship he always dreamed about having as a child.
And he was so glad he waited this long for it.