Archive of Our Own

Nagisa is always surprised by how quiet Rei’s apartment is. It’s the complete opposite of his own house where there’s always something is happening, always some noise – one of his sisters dropping by, his dad singing tunelessly in the kitchen, the washing machine rattling on a vigorous spin cycle. The loudest noise in Rei’s apartment is the soft hum of the air conditioning that’s keeping them sane on the hot, sticky Friday evening, and Rei, clicking his ballpoint pen as he concentrates because he’s disgustingly dedicated and refuses to do his weekend homework on Sunday night, like every other person on the planet. The whole room is completely peaceful, if you don’t count Nagisa, that is.

Nagisa has been saying Rei’s name for at least ten minutes but so far he’s only received a snappy “Nagisa-kun, I’m astounded by your lack of respect for hydrocarbons” in response. Apparently Rei is capable of mentally blocking out all attempts at distraction - he doesn’t even look up when Nagisa starts acting out the best scenes from the movie they’d be watching if Rei wasn’t such a bore. Nagisa is pretty certain that Rei would keep on studying even if opera-singing aliens invaded the earth, in fact he’d probably take notes for science class right as he’s beamed up into space. It’s hard work, being best friends with someone who’s sexually attracted to textbooks.

It’s enough to make Nagisa flop onto his back in frustration. He starts to push his pink-socked feet against Rei’s hip, earnestly hoping that if his nudges are rhythmic and enthusiastic enough Rei will change his mind and suddenly agree to do something that’s actually fun. Rei catches one foot with his hand and, without even looking up from his book, he sneaks in a surprise tickle attack on the sensitive spot right above Nagisa's heel. Nagisa gasps out, “not fair!” and yes, he almost kicks Rei in the head on reflex, but that’s only because nothing makes him laugh like being tickled, nothing. Nagisa knocks Rei backwards with a dive that any swimmer would envy and launches a furious counter-attack on his waist and Rei makes this perfect little shriek and then they’re rolling around, squirming and laughing in an all-out tickle fight until they have to stop to gasp for air. They collapse in a mutual surrender, bodies pressed together in a sticky mess of tangled legs. One last giggle fades in the back of Nagisa’s throat and their eyes lock and it’s hot and tense and Nagisa can feel his pulse fluttering stupidly, as rapid as Rei’s breath against his neck.

Rei shifts upright, suddenly and stiffly like a puppet tugged upwards by strings. Nagisa watches him adjust his glasses and self-consciously tug down the bottom of his shirt and then he reaches for his pen and carries on working, frowning in concentration, hair comically mussed, and that’s it, fun over. Nagisa’s left lying on the floor with this weird tingling heat low in his belly, so intense that he has to roll onto his side and face away from Rei and just take a minute to cool down. Nagisa’s trying to remember a distracting joke, they’re in desperate need of a distracting joke, when he notices it.

One of the drawers under Rei’s bed is slightly open and Nagisa can see the top corner of a book peeking out. That shouldn’t be strange but the thing is, Rei doesn’t hide books, the thing is, he displays them around his room with pride. Everything has a place in Rei’s room. It’s “optimised for maximum storage space”, every item in his wardrobe colour coordinated, no pen left without a cap, filled with plants and pictures of plants next to plants – so organised it’s sickening. So a textbook. Under the bed. Nagisa is instantly suspicious.

He bides his time because he has experience, he knows that the perfect time to snoop around Rei’s room is when he goes to take a bath because Rei does not bathe quickly. Sure, he’s nothing on Haru, but he spends ages fussing around using different skin products and Nagisa has never actually witnessed it, but he’s pretty sure Rei keeps a ruler and a pair of scissors in there for keeping each individual strand of hair at exactly the right length, and why shouldn’t Nagisa take advantage of a habit like that.  

It’s hours later when Rei finally leaves to take his bath – his parents are home and it’s way after they’ve eaten dinner. As soon as he’s certain Rei’s not coming back, Nagisa slides the drawer open, heart pounding excitedly even though he’s not sure what he’s expecting to find, how raunchy can a book be? He’s expecting a Human Biology textbook with graphic diagrams or maybe one of the trashy romance novels his grandma always reads. He’s absolutely definitely not expecting to discover that the textbook is all a ruse, strategically placed to hide three thick lingerie catalogues stashed underneath. Nagisa smacks his hand to his mouth in a scandalised gasp.

The shock hits him like a slap in the face, like a giant jump-from-your-seat plot twist – the detective’s dead and it wasn’t the shady guy with the moustache that did it, it was his own daughter.

His world shatters.

Rei’s a pervert. Rei likes girls. Rei who often seems terrified of making eye contact with the girls in their class. Rei who sometimes forgets to shut his mouth as he stares in awe and Haru and Mako in their swimwear. That Rei. He likes girls.

It takes Nagisa way too long to pick his mouth up from the floor and work up the courage to carefully examine one of the catalogues.

It’s all classy and high-end, attractive models in expensive underwear, on their backs and pouting, on their knees with their hips pushed out to the side. Nagisa’s hands shake as he turns the pages delicately, like he’s in possession of the only copy of a top secret document.

Why underwear? He wonders. If you’re going to hide a dirty magazine, why not go all out, go for the nudes, or better, save yourself the embarrassment and browse privately on your laptop. Isn’t Rei supposed to be the genius? Some pages are neatly colour coded with stick-on tabs in the top left corners. Nagisa tries to find a consistency in the models on those pages, because it’s suddenly extremely important that he knows Rei’s type.

Rei’s type, he thinks, crinkling his nose. It doesn’t feel right. The pieces don’t fit, the numbers don’t add up. Rei holding the door open for some cute dainty girl, dressed in his favourite blue waistcoat and holding her hand so gently, so politely. That girl pulling faces at Rei through the gaps in the shelves at the library the way Nagisa always does, stealing his seat at the cinema. That rare little giggle Rei does sometimes, suddenly aimed at someone else…

Nausea pulses in Nagisa’s stomach as his thoughts race somewhere he doesn’t want them to go. Rei lying back on his bed illuminated by soft lamp light, turning the pages to appreciate smooth stomachs, curvy hips, big lace-covered breasts, nodding in approval, hand slipping down the front of his pyjamas…

Nagisa slams the catalogue closed and suddenly he regrets eating that second helping of dinner.  Nagisa never regrets eating anything (especially not food prepared by a member of the Ryuugazaki household because he swears, that family have outstanding culinary talent flowing in their blood, even if they are over-fixated on vegetables) but here he is, belly churning like he’s rocking at sea on a tiny fishing boat right in the middle of the storm. Even Nagisa’s steel stomach can’t handle thei awful realisation that Rei-chan, his Rei-chan, is no different from the boys in their class that sit drooling over porn mags at lunchtime.

He’s considering bolting over to Mako-chan’s to ask for advice or maybe cry on his shoulder a little when he hears the bathroom door unlock. He rushes to put everything back into place with one last glance at the catalogues, to make sure the whole thing isn’t just one of his extravagant daydreams, and then he’s lying inconspicuously on the bed, playing his DS, right in time for when Rei walks through the door.

It’s not the first time Nagisa’s seen him in just a robe and a towel (in fact, he sees his friends naked all the time) but Nagisa’s heart flutters a little anyway.

“I forgot to take my pyjamas to the bathroom,” Rei says, as an explanation for his attire. Nagisa stares as drops of water slide from his hair and down his neck, down the bit of exposed chest that shows through the gap in his robe. “Would you like to take a bath?”

“Um, actually. It’s late.” Nagisa says, says as Rei pulls out his hairdryer. “I should probably get going.”

“I thought you were staying the night,” Rei says, mouth curling into a frown. “So we can head out and meet everyone together in the morning. For shopping.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right!” Nagisa laughs, loud and unconvincing.

“And surely you’re not planning on leaving here dressed like that?” Rei says, looking appalled at the mere suggestion of Nagisa walking home in his improvised nightwear – cherry print boxer shorts and one of Rei’s old middle school shirts, the faded red one with ‘Track & Field Team’ printed on the front. Nagisa doesn’t see the big deal – he’s gone wilder – but Rei looks like he’s edging towards heart failure at the very thought.

Nagisa shakes his head. “I’ll stay. I’m just… really tired or something. Practice was hard today and… I guess I just forgot. Don’t worry, Rei-chan.”

Rei does worry though. Even when he’s dressed in a pair of butterfly pyjamas (short-sleeved, pink and grey summer version) with perfectly styled hair, he’s got a frown on his face and Nagisa doesn’t like it one bit. He really doesn’t want Rei to start with the concerned questions, because he might just blurt out, “I found your porn!” and then Rei will burst into flame right in the middle of his bedroom and they’ll be forced to call the fire department and to find a new butterfly swimmer.  

To save lives and avoid the hell that is swim club recruitment, Nagisa starts to babble the first story that leaps to mind. Rei sits on his bed and listens attentively, politely humming and aahing in a very Rei-like manner, until suddenly he’s blinking really slow and long, like he always does when he starts to go all soft and sleepy. Nagisa drops in a line about Rin dating an alligator and Rei doesn’t even flinch. Nagisa’s still chuckling about it when Rei’s eyes fall shut and his whole body slumps forward, glasses sliding ungracefully down his nose.

He jumps when Nagisa wakes him with a gentle hand on his arm. “Rei-chan,” he says softly. “Shall we go to sleep?”

“I suppose. If you’re tired,” Rei says, voice thick with sleep. He pulls off his glasses and rolls into bed. “Would you mind getting the light?”

Nagisa nods. He thinks back to when they first started having sleepovers, when Rei would insist on pulling out the guest futon. Now he waits for Nagisa to climb into his double bed, expects it, and if Nagisa stops and thinks about how far they’ve come for too long, his heart swells so much that he sort of wants to cry.

“Sleep well, Nagisa-kun,” Rei murmurs.

“Night night, Rei-chan,” he replies.

Nagisa just stares at the ceiling. Snuggling down into Rei’s comfortable bed is normally a magical experience, but tonight when he slips under the covers, it’s suffocating. He feels like there’s a dragon flapping around in his stomach, occasionally setting bits of him on fire. He’s never felt more awake in his life.

**

Nagisa tries to forget about it, because really, it’s not that weird. Rei gets off to pictures of pretty girls, so what, right? Nagisa’s wasted a decent amount of his teenage life with his dick in his hand and even Haru-chan does it (though he’s super secretive and refuses to talk about it). It’s just that Rei’s so stiff and proper and Nagisa can’t stop wondering about what kind of dirty stuff he thinks of, what face he pulls, what sounds he makes the moment he comes undone. He’s never really considered it in detail before.

He’s never considered that Rei might like someone who isn’t part of a swim team, especially not a girl. Rei appreciates beauty all the time and maybe Nagisa does notice him light up when something unique catches his eye, but usually it’s things like a really fancy watch in a shop window or Haru as he glides through the water. Nagisa can’t remember him ever eyeing up a girl. His eyes start to follow Rei all the time, even more than usual, searching for clues. He’s just so curious. 

Nagisa types in the brand names from the front of Rei’s catalogues online. Everything is so expensive. It’s incredible, how many snacks he could buy for the price of just one bra. Nagisa grew up surrounded by women’s clothes but he still doesn’t understand bras. The models are pretty, but they don’t excite Nagisa, not one bit. He doesn’t get it at all.

He manages to push it out of his mind until one lunch time, when Rei goes to the library instead of joining them on the roof.

“Hey,” Nagisa says to his friends. “What would you do if you accidentally found out a secret?”

He slurps noisily at his carton of strawberry milk, personally offended at the way his friends exchange cautious looks, like he’s some ticking bomb that will explode if they handle this the wrong way.

“What kind of secret?” Gou asks slowly.

“Like a top-secret secret,” Nagisa says, clutching a hand across his chest. “A burden on your heart kind of secret. Like… no, I probably shouldn’t tell you.”

“You don’t have to tell us,” Mako-chan reassures him.

“But it’s about Rei-chan,” Nagisa blurts out, leaning in closer, eyes dramatically sweeping round to look at everyone in turn.

Even Haru looks up from his lunch. His sharp eyes stare into the depths of Nagisa’s soul. Nagisa is weak. He breaks.

“Okay, okay, you forced it out of me, Rei-chan is… Rei-chan’s here!” Nagisa yells, throwing his arms up to wave as his friend walks through the door to the roof.

“I found my book,” Rei says, posing with it like he’s some fancy hardback salesman. “What did I miss?”

There’s a free space by Makoto but Rei walks all the way around to the spot by Nagisa. They’re the only people on the roof but he sits so close that their thighs touch. Nagisa can’t help but drool a little, when Rei pulls out his colour coordinated lunch. It’s slightly greener than he’d personally go for, but it does look delicious.

“We were just talking about this and that,” Nagisa informs him. “I was just about to ask everyone some questions about girls!”

“Oh,” Rei says, blinking a few times. “What about them?”

“Cute girls,” Nagisa says. “Girls that you like. Rei-chan, it’s your turn first. Who’s your type?”

“My type?” Rei asks, shuffling slowly away from Nagisa.

“Say… out of the girls in our class,” Nagisa says, placing a hand on Rei’s shoulder to prevent him escaping. “Isn’t there anyone you think is cute?”

Nagisa ignores Haru’s soft snort and keeps his insistent gaze locked on Rei.

“While there are some aesthetically attractive members of our student body,” Rei says, “I wouldn’t say I’m particularly drawn to any of them.”

 Nagisa watches him drop the same piece of sushi four times in a row. He’s hiding something. He turns to the others, to see if they’ve noticed it, but they’ve pulled a swim practice schedule out of nowhere. The way that Makoto and Gou are pointing at different spots and making noises of agreement is almost convincing.  

“Are you sure?” Nagisa asks, his stomach twisted in knots.

 “Quite.” Rei says, casually examining his fingernails.

Nagisa has no choice to believe him, but if he doesn’t like a certain girl, what does that mean? Is he just an underwear pervert?

“So, Nagisa-kun, what about you?” Rei asks, voice tight.

 “Um. Me?” Nagisa says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I like everyone!”

Rei makes his eyes wider, his voice higher. “But isn’t there anyone you think is cute?”

Nagisa blushes a little because yes, actually Rei-chan, there might just be someone but that someone is not a girl, and by the way he’s terrible at impressions.

“I can think of someone in our class,” Nagisa teases, leaning closer. “Someone cute. Someone I like. Someone who I kind of really want to make out with.”

Rei prickles like the stray cat that creeps around Nagisa’s street.

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei says flatly, climbing to his feet, “I have no interest in the details your sordid lifestyle.”

“Eh, Rei-chan?” Nagisa questions, catching the back of his school shirt between his fingers, “Where are you going?”

“I forgot something. In the library. See you in class,” and then Rei’s tugging himself from Nagisa’s grip and walking away.

Nagisa wants to chase after Rei but all he can do is flop backwards. He narrowly avoids landing on Rei’s half-eaten bento. It looks lonely and smells delicious but he’s too puzzled to swoop in and make a move on it.

“Weird,” Nagisa comments, as his remaining friends shuffle closer and peer down at him curiously. He just watches the clouds between their heads, wishing he could just float up there with them. One of them is shaped exactly like a butterfly and for some reason that stings a bit.

**

“Nagisa-kun, is there something bothering you?” Rei asks, when they’re sitting on the plastic seats at the empty train station after school, waiting to go home. “You’ve been awfully quiet lately. Is this about your parents again?”

“Actually Rei-chan,” Nagisa says, because he can’t hide it anymore and because Mako-chan had said that he should just talk to Rei and Haru-chan had nodded in agreement, “I know.”

“Know what?” Rei asks.

His face looks so nice framed by the setting sun, so calm even though they’ve just missed a train and they have a while to wait. His hair is still a little damp from his shower.

“Your secret,” Nagisa admits, knowing he’s about to ruin everything.

Rei’s face twists uncomfortably. His eyes slide away from Nagisa’s.

“How?” Rei asks, and his voice is so small.

Nagisa shuffles uncomfortably in his chair. “It’s really obvious… if you look.”

“I… I didn’t think you’d ever notice,” Rei says, panic edging into his voice, “I thought…”

“Shhh,” Nagisa soothes, stroking his arm. “We’re best friends, right? You don’t have to hide these things from me.”

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei starts, and his eyes are sharper now. He moves one hand until his fingertips shyly bump against Nagisa’s. “I suppose there’s no use in hiding it. It’s... all true. I honestly... really like-”

“Girl’s underwear, right?” Nagisa interrupts, because Rei’s struggling to speak and he has to help.

“What?” Rei freezes halfway to pushing up his glasses, one hand suspended in the air in front of his face.

“I… kind of found the stuff. Under your bed,” Nagisa explains. “Ah, but it was an accident! I didn’t mean to!” He waves his hands around, as if that will deflect the pure horror that’s coming off Rei in waves. “I’m really sorry. Please don’t freak out.”

It’s too late. Rei’s already bent forward, taking fast shallow breaths, hands raking through his hair.

“That’s… how could… you-” He chokes out.

“Rei-chan,” Nagisa says, patting his shoulder reassuringly. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

Rei jerks away from Nagisa’s hand. “I can’t believe…” he says, flushing brighter than that one time he got really sleepy and fell off his chair in the middle of class, “that you found my collection…”

“Collection?” Nagisa repeats, because that’s an interesting way to describe a stack of dirty magazines.

“I’ll understand if you can’t stand to look at me anymore, knowing that I…” Rei’s fingers claws desperately at the material of his school trousers. “Nagisa-kun, you have to understand, I don’t wear it for perverse reasons. There’s just such a delicate beauty in lingerie that you never find in typically male clothing and I…”

The thought of it smacks all the breath out of his lungs. His heart pounds. His whole body throbs. Rei doesn’t like girls in underwear. Rei likes himself in girl’s underwear. Nagisa tries to stay strong for Rei who looks absolutely mortified, but all he actually wants to do is collapse to the floor, throw his hands in the air and scream “Rei wears lingerie?!” into the setting sun.

“Rei-chan. Y-You wear it?” 

“P-Please don’t tell anyone! I never intended for anyone to find out and if my parents… if Haruka-senpai…” Rei’s voice wobbles like he might just burst into tears in the middle of the train station. “I’d have to leave the country and transferring out of school at this time of year would be a nightmare.” Rei flops forward, lets his head fall into his hands. “I’m… truly appalled by myself.”

“Don’t be!” Nagisa insists, “Please. It - It sounds amazing. Hey, can I see sometime? I really want to see it.”

He’s desperate for it. He needs it. There’s this sickening arousal charging through his veins at just the thought of it: Rei in lingerie.

“Of course not,” Rei snaps, sounds hysterical. “You can’t just go around asking people to show you their underwear!”

He catches Nagisa around the wrist just before he can snap open the button on the front of his school pants and get his penguins out, to prove that you absolutely can.

“But I’ve already seen you in a speedo,” Nagisa whines. “And naked in the locker room.”

“That,” Rei says, flushing, “is completely beside the point.”

“I showed you that scab on my knee that was shaped like Iwatobi-chan,” Nagisa reminds him.

Rei sighs loudly, hands twisting together. “Nagisa-kun, this is an entirely humiliating experience for me and if you think I’m just going to-” 

An elderly man steps onto the platform and slowly makes his way towards the seats. Rei points a single don’t-you-dare finger at Nagisa, who gives a small salute of acknowledgement. They don’t mention it again the whole way home, in fact they barely talk about anything because Rei is stuck on one word responses. Nagisa feels like he’s about to explode.

When he makes it home, Nagisa shouts a hello to anyone who’s listening and races up the stairs. He slides his chair in front of his door and then he’s flat on his back in the middle of his bed, school pants around his ankles, cock in his hand. Maybe he should feel bad, because Rei was clearly wound up about it the whole way home, but Nagisa’s got his own problems to deal with, like the way he’s been throbbing permanently since Rei dropped that bomb and shattered Nagisa’s world, “oh by the way, I wear lingerie.”

Nagisa made every effort to think of normal things on the train, like grass and milk and old people, but his brain kept popping out Rei bending over by the fence in his speedo (“stretching”, he’d called it, yeah right) and then suddenly there Rei was bending over in a flimsy pair of briefs, and didn’t that just make it the most uncomfortable train ride in the entire history of Nagisa’s life. Maybe getting off on Rei’s despair is wrong but Nagisa’s hard as hell and he owes it to himself – owes it to the world – to deal with the situation properly.

He draws in a shaky breath and moves his hand, hard and fast and right how he needs it, no time for teasing, he’s too worked up. Rei in lingerie, he thinks in disbelief for the thousandth time. Rei wearing the stuff in those catalogues. Something delicate, lacy and lilac, probably no definitely, transparent. Rei with matching purple thigh-highs on those muscular legs, long thick cock pushing out the front of his underwear, hard, so hard, laid back on Nagisa’s bed, dripping a little onto his abs.

Yeah, Nagisa thinks, biting down on his lip to try and stop the little whimpers that keep slipping from his mouth. That underwear soft against his knuckles as he reaches inside to take Rei’s cock into his hand and yeah, god, he’d get Rei off so hard, make him moan, make him lose it, make him fall apart. Gently encourage him to spread his legs and kiss the inside of those toned thighs, go straight for that sensitive spot that Nagisa’s fingertips grazed that one time they were shaving in the locker room, the one that made his hips impulsively jerk up off the bench.

Nagisa pants and he can almost taste the lace, rough against his lips as he mouths Rei’s dick through his barely-there underwear. The things he’d do to Rei if he had the chance, all the filthy things he’s done to boys in his mind when it’s dark and he’s sure that everyone’s asleep. His mouth tingles just thinking about licking at Rei, hard and desperate. He sucks a finger into mouth and swirls his tongue around it, slides his mouth up and down until he can practically taste the come filling the back of his throat, until he can hear Rei rasping out “Nagisa-kun” all low and raw and then Nagisa’s gone, eyes squeezed shut as his whole body splits and he comes hard, biting his hand to stop himself yelling, sticky and messy all over his school uniform.

Fuck, he thinks, staring down at his ruined yellow vest. Fuck.

What’s he going to do now?

****

It’s been two weeks since the incident and while Rei has yet to die of embarrassment, Nagisa’s sudden fascination with undergarments has yet to fade. Nagisa has demonstrated endless creativity in his attempts to convince Rei to share his collection and while it’s true that Rei's assortment of lingerie is both extensive and impressive for a student with limited income, that doesn’t mean he’s eager to share it. In fact, these days he’s often haunted by nightmares where he stands cold and humiliated in front of the whole school wearing nothing but lingerie, shunned by everyone he cares about, all because he appreciates the aesthetics of clothing beyond the boundaries of traditional gendered marketing.

Unfortunately Nagisa has a way of wearing people down. He starts with his best attempts at sweet talking, with sly comments as he fawns over his own selection of catalogues. He swiftly progresses into tossing notes on Rei's desk during class featuring inaccurate little sparkling portraits and a genuinely horrifying lingerie version of Iwatobi-chan Rei finds tucked into the front pocket of his backpack. For some highly illogical reason, Rei has yet to shut Nagisa down with a firm and conclusive “no”, but he has become skilled at luring him away from the subject with something shiny and distracting. Rei has also become skilled at avoiding spending anytime alone with Nagisa and honestly, he despises himself a bit for it.

Nagisa manages to catch Rei alone while he’s stretching out his triceps by the side of the pool on Thursday during swim practice. He times it perfectly – Haruka and Makoto are still in the water and Gou is in the shade, scribbling in that suspicious notebook she carries around with her.  Nagisa must know that Rei often starts his cool down stretches before the others because apparently his regime is excessive for athletes of a high school level but honestly, Rei would be quite interested in examining the deteriorating muscles of his teammates in twenty years’ time when he’s still in perfect form, thank you very much.

 “Hey, let’s hang out on Saturday,” Nagisa says, bouncing on his toes. “Everyone’s away for the night, right?”

“What makes you think that?” Rei asks, startled once again by Nagisa’s eerie ability to know absolutely everything.

“Your mom mentioned it when I called over the other day.” Nagisa says. “You know, when you were too busy to come to the door. She said I should keep an eye on you at the weekend. Make sure you don’t study ‘til your head falls off, that sort of thing.”

“My mother. My mother said that?” Rei asks in disbelief, because he thinks that his parents probably stopped falling for Nagisa’s Such a Sweet Boy act a long time ago. In fact, he suspects that they get more and more concerned every time Rei neglects to pull out the guest futon when Nagisa sleeps over, but he’s skilled at repressing that line of thinking like it’s an allergy.

“She implied it. Like heavily implied it,” Nagisa insists.

“Mm,” says Rei, unconvinced. “As much as I value my mother’s opinion, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline. I’ll be very busy.”

“But we’d have so much fun!” Nagisa cries, looking deeply offended that Rei would ever consider leading a life without him. “If this is about the underwear…”

Rei winces, glancing around to check the others aren’t close enough to hear their conversation. “It’s not.”

“But you’ve been avoiding me,” Nagisa pouts, fists clenched. “Going straight home after practice, hiding in the library at lunch. I’ve been so lonely.”

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei points out, “even without my presence, you’re constantly surrounded by people.”

“Yeah, but they’re not Rei-chan,” Nagisa says softly.

Rei has to bend forward and make a show of touching his toes because stretching is the only excuse he can think up to hide blushing face.

“You do trust me, don’t you?” Nagisa asks.

Rei straightens up. He looks Nagisa straight in the eyes.

“More than anyone,” he says seriously.

“I’m so glad,” Nagisa sighs in relief.

Rei does trust Nagisa. He hates keeping secrets and he misses Nagisa’s company after school, misses his vast knowledge about cake and history, Rei even misses his awful vulgar jokes. Rei is aware that he’s acting irrationally – he’s aware that this situation isn’t just going to go away. He has to take responsibility. He has to explain himself and beg Nagisa to never mention it again. That’s one option, anyway.

“I mean it,” Rei croaks out, throat dry. “I do trust you. And I am aware that keeping secrets has such a negative psychological effect on…”

Gou interrupts suddenly, shouting across the pool that they should hurry up. Haruka and Makoto are already washing their hair in the outdoor showers. 

“Give us a minute!” Nagisa yells back. He’s taking a risk by challenging Gou. It makes Rei nervous. “You were saying, Rei-chan?”

Rei sighs. “What time shall I expect you Saturday?” he asks, because he’s a pathetic fool, fated to eternally gravitate towards the messy blur of sunshine and absurdity that is Hazuki Nagisa.

Nagisa’s whole face lights up and Rei only gets to appreciate it for a moment, because Nagisa slams into him in a powerful collision of body parts that some might refer to as a hug and almost sends them both flying backwards into the water. Rei’s heart pounds as Nagisa clings affectionately, surrounds him with damp skin, all soft and warmed by the sun.

“I’m so excited,” Nagisa gushes, pushing up onto his tiptoes. “Wear something pretty, okay?” he whispers against Rei’s ear.

Rei loses his footing and flops backwards, spectacularly plummeting into the pool, gasping as the cold water claws at his skin. When Rei stops spluttering, the whole swim team is staring at him. Everyone. Including Haruka-senpai.

Sometimes Rei is tempted to march into his local bookstore and demand his money back, because all those how-to guides he read when he was a pre-teen did not in any way prepare him for the absolute degrading experience that is being a teenager.

**

At 7.03pm on Saturday evening, Rei paces by the door like a dog waiting for its owner to return. If his apartment had a front window, his face would be pressed inelegantly against the glass. He’d love to relax, relaxing would be ideal, but Nagisa confirmed seven and a half minutes ago in the form of an over-enthusiastic text message that he’s on his way over. Nagisa is about to arrive with every intention of perversely routing through Rei’s underwear collection and Rei is an absolute fool for agreeing to this – he’s not even sure what this is, but it’s an absolutely certainty that it will end disastrously.

The sound of the buzzer makes Rei’s heart perform a routine so complex that it might medal gold in gymnastics. His hands shake as he fumbles with the lock on the door.

“Hi, Rei-chan!” Nagisa grins, like everything is normal and they aren’t considering corrupting their friendship with voyeurism.

Nagisa steps through the door, all dressed up in a long pale pink shirt that’s so baggy it’s sliding off one shoulder and pair of sparkly purple leggings. They’re tight and flashy and honestly spectacular on his slim, muscular legs. They’re so loud, so very Nagisa. Rei can’t help but stare.

“Are those… scales?” Rei asks, nodding at the pattern on the leggings.

 “Yep, I’m like a mermaid! Aren’t they cute?” Nagisa says, twirling. “Haru-chan was so jealous, he got some in blue!”

“Haruka-senpai did?” Rei asks slowly, wondering if this one of those times where Nagisa’s version of events differs drastically from reality.

“Mm, we modelled them for Mako-chan. He was so impressed. Oh, and speaking of presents!” Nagisa says, though they weren’t. “I brought you something. Thanks for having me!”

He pulls a small blue gift bag from his backpack.

“Oh, thank you very much,” Rei says, blinking slowly at the gift that Nagisa’s holding out like it’s a trick.

“We should open it in your room,” Nagisa advises.

Rei raises a suspicious eyebrow but leads them the short distance down the corridor anyway.

“Open it,” Nagisa says, after nudging the door shut with his hip. “Well, go on!”

They kneel around his small table. Rei’s heart stops when he looks inside the bag.

“Nagisa-kun,”he says, darkly. “What…”

Nagisa giggles as Rei pulls the tiny garment from the bag, holding the very edge between his thumb and forefinger like it’s toxic. Rei stares at the offensive neon green thong, attempting to keep a safe distance as he examines the cheap lace, the yellow butterfly on the rear.

“What are…” Rei starts, but his words get lost. “W-Why did…”

“I saw this and thought of you,” Nagisa smiles and he’s trying to sound sweet but his eyes glimmering with mischief.

“Nagisa-kun, while I appreciate that you went out of your way to get me a gift, this is… Are you trying to suggest that I wear this?” He asks, in mild disgust.

“Ah, is it too small?” Nagisa asks. “It was kind of big on me so I thought it’d be perfect for you!”

“You. You tried this on?” Rei chokes.

“Of course!” 

Rei closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and taps into every ounce of mental control he possesses to prevent himself from being distracted by that image.

“Forgive me for sounding ungrateful it’s just…” Rei reaches for his glasses. “Do you have any idea how unflattering neon would look on someone of my skin tone?” He crinkles his nose at the offensive garment.

“You don’t like it?” Nagisa asks, looking so crushed that Rei can’t help but feel guilty.

“I’m sure it’d look...” he pauses to clear his throat, “perfectly fine on someone else. You, for example,” Rei says, shooting a glance towards Nagisa’s leggings, “you could pull off something so daring, but personally I opt for darker colours. I value subtle, delicate beauty.”

“Tell me more,” Nagisa says, blinking up all wide eyed and innocent, pretending he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing. “I want to know everything about your underwear fetish!”

“Underwear fetish?” Rei practically shrieks. “Nagisa-kun, I just so happen to possess a small collection of beautiful, flattering garments that society considers to be typically feminine, what’s so strange about that?” Rei laughs nervously.

“Bring on the fashion show!” Nagisa cheers.

“Fashion show?” Rei repeats.

“That is why you invited me over, isn’t it? I was really looking forward to Rei-chan’s modelling,”

“You can’t really think I’m going to actually wear it…!”

“You have to! How else will I learn?” Rei shakes his head sternly. “Why not?” Nagisa whines.

“The list is exceptionally long, but to name a few reasons, it’s inappropriate, humiliating, not what friends do, not what men do and of course, it’d take a while for me to prepare and frankly, you have the attention span of a particularly hyperactive two year old, so really it wouldn’t work…”

“I need you to teach me," Nagisa says, so passionately that he might as well be asking Rei to take him right there on the floor. “Educate me.”

Rei shakes his head, desperately trying to ignoring the way Nagisa’s words cause a hot flare low in his gut. “It’s… dirty. Not beautiful in the slightest.”

“I can’t imagine anything more beautiful,” Nagisa says softly, like he means it.

Rei’s heart flutters. Something electric sparks inside of him. Nagisa thinks it would be beautiful?

And that’s how he ends up almost naked in his bathroom, attempting to tuck himself into tiny black silk briefs, as if that will help him to retain his dignity when he unlocks the door and destroys the closest friendship he’s ever had. His stomach is protests ungracefully, highlighting the likelihood that he’s going to throw up any minute now and he’s a hideous mess, a disgrace to entire Ryugazaki bloodline. Nagisa promised to keep his secret, promised not to laugh or tell anyone or acquire photographic evidence but Rei still feels like he’s walking into the opening scene of a horror movie. The logical thing to do would be to put his clothes back on, but he’s considering squeezing out of the tiny bathroom window and fleeing down the fire escape as an alternative option.

The problem is, Rei didn’t spend the last ten minutes attaching his seamed black stockings to his suspender belt for nothing. The problem is, he went to the effort of drawing the blinds and switching on his lamp to create the appropriate ambiance and for some reason he can’t stop picturing Nagisa’s face when he steps back into his bedroom.

Rei scrutinises his reflection from every angle in the tall bathroom mirror. It was a difficult decision, selecting what to wear. Rei’s very fond of the royal blue and the rich purple, but in the end he’d opted for the classic black. Perhaps he had previously considered what he might wear should a similar situation ever arise, but only in the same way that he always familiarises himself with fire evacuation plans – hypothetically, because Ryugazakis are always prepared for every situation.

The black silk briefs don’t cover much of his rear, the thin gold threaded lace at the front leaves nothing to the imagination and while the soft black suspender belt does highlight the definition of his abs, it also does nothing to aid his modesty. The stockings aren’t too bad, he supposes. It’s evident that he’s been emphasising his leg muscles in his workouts lately and Rei has heard it said that he has slender and beautiful legs, not that he agrees or anything. Rei had barely considered the beauty of his legs until the moment Makoto mentioned their appeal and Rei values the words of his senpai, so of course he began seeking something to complement his style, something to showcase his legs appropriately. Why not the most gentle, beautiful garment designed to flatter legs?

Before he knew it, he was ordering his first pair of stockings online, out of scientific intrigue more than anything else. Perhaps he was awestruck, just a small amount, microscopic really, when he first pulled the stockings up over his thighs, but who wouldn’t be weakened by the killer combination of hard muscle and soft lace?  Honestly, he thinks, even if he is shunned by the world, at least Gou will be proud of him.

“Rei-chan, did you die in there?” Nagisa calls through the door.

Rei jumps at the sound of his friend’s voice. Reality kicks him in the stomach, reminds him that this isn’t just some temporary fantasy dreamed up when all the lights are off and no one will ever find out. This will change everything, taint all their memories with a dirty stain that can’t be scrubbed off.

Last chance to back down.

He pulls on the thin royal blue robe that barely reaches his knees. His hands shake as he unlocks the bathroom door. His limbs are stuff and useless, so he’s forced to shuffle in like he’s made of wood. Less than twenty steps and he’s standing in the middle of his bedroom floor. His heart pulses in his stomach, threatens to spill out of his throat. Nagisa is sitting on the bed, eerily still, uncomfortably quiet. Rei takes a deep breath. He drops his robe to the floor.

Nagisa’s lack of reaction is alarming.

Rei fidgets as Nagisa’s wide eyes look him slowly up and down. He shifts uncomfortably, waiting for Nagisa to laugh, cover his eyes, recoil in disgust, say something, anything, but Nagisa who overreacts to everything, Nagisa who collapses into hysterical laughter if Rei so much as drops his pencil in class, doesn’t respond. It quickly becomes obvious that Rei has miscalculated, he’s made the most dreadful fatal error and this is the worst thing he could have done, he’s a freak and they both know it and Rei’s just about to bolt back into the bathroom and lock himself in there for ten years (or at least until Monday because it’s not like he can miss school) when Nagisa finally meets his eyes.

“Wow,” he whispers.

“T-The briefs aren’t designed to flatter external genitalia,” Rei splutters defensively, covering his lower body with his hands.

Nagisa giggles, but it’s kind and warm. “You’re so pretty, Rei-chan. Thank you for showing me.”

Relief flows through Rei’s entire body. He still thinks disintegrating into a pile of dust on the carpet would be preferable, but Nagisa’s looking at Rei in awe, or at least like he’s a seven tier cake that he’d like to dig into, and that’s something, that’s definitely something. Nagisa is dazzled by Rei’s style and who can blame him? Rei covers his mouth in a failed attempt at hiding his delight. He takes a few daring steps closer to the bed and Nagisa reaches out, lets his fingertips collide with Rei’s thigh. Their eyes meet. Nagisa’s plays with the material at the top of his stocking.

“You’re still so smooth,” Nagisa appreciates, gliding his hands across the curve of Rei’s shaved legs.

“Shaving is beneficial,” Rei explains “For my swimming.”

“You wear legskins,” Nagisa points out.

“Ah. Yes. Well…” Rei begins.

“It’s nice,” Nagisa breathes.

“Thank you,” Rei says awkwardly.

They hover, frozen, silent, eyes fixed on anything but each other. One of them should say something. They should move closer, move further apart. Rei should retreat and change and stop thinking about the ghost of Nagisa’s warm touch, still tingling on his upper thighs. He meets Nagisa’s eyes and it’s nervous, heated, electric. Rei throat is so dry that he’s not sure he’ll ever manage to speak again.

The room is so quiet that Rei can hear his own heart hammering. The air is so thick that Rei’s going to choke and he can’t move, can’t work out how to fix it. Nagisa looks just as lost and it hits Rei, sharp and jagged, that they’ve got it wrong, they can’t turn back from this. Their friendship is delicate, on the verge of breaking and they’re going to plummet down into the unknown because of the terrifying magnetic pull between them and this was always going to happen, how could they let this happen? There was no way he was ever going to model lingerie for Nagisa without the sickening pull of something else interfering.

“Nagisa-kun?” Rei says, almost hysterically. There are so many questions on the tip on the tongue but his language skills are lacking. 

Nagisa sucks in his breath and slowly stands. He looks amazing, cheeks flushed, legs still shimmering in those purple leggings, face set in a rare, serious expression. It’s not helping Rei’s nerves one bit.

“Rei-chan,” he says, as a shaky response, tilting his head up, pointing his chin. He wets his dry lips with his tongue.

This is really happening.

They’ve shared more instances of physical closeness than Rei could ever count. The constant hugging and pushing and tugging and leaning, wet skin against wet skin in the pool, the routine dozing on the train, Nagisa’s fingers leaving goose-bumps on Rei’s skin as they idly stroke his arm during a movie. All that and leaning down and taking that one step further feels like the end of the world. It’s completely irrational. Undeniably foolish.

Sometimes even Rei takes risks.

It takes an eternity and Nagisa’s small hand, warm and encouraging against the exposed skin of Rei’s lower back. It takes a mental banishment of all the oh nos and the what ifs and then Rei leans down until their lips are touching, just hovering for a moment, like they’re too stunned to do anything but just exist together in the same space. Nagisa squeezes Rei’s shaking hand and moves his lips like he’s trying to speak but the words are lost. Physically, it’s not much – it’s hesitant, more curious than anything else – but somehow it’s still terrifying and thrilling and heart-achingly delicate. Rei’s reaches out a daring hand to play with the hair on the back of Nagisa’s neck. It’s softer than the silky material against his skin

Nagisa kisses like he knows what he’s doing and Rei, with his trembling hands and sweaty palms, is overwhelmingly thankful for that. Rei’s not terrible for a beginner, if it’s correct of him to judge based on the soft sounds Nagisa’s making. It’s so soft and enchanting and Rei thinks he might be relaxing, might just be getting the hang of it and then Nagisa hooks a finger in the front of his briefs and yanks him closer. The elastic snaps back against his skin with a loud pop and then they’re so tight against each other that Rei jolts backwards reflexively.

He opens his eyes and blinks blearily at Nagisa’s flushed face and suddenly he’s all too aware that he’s standing in the middle of his bedroom wearing nothing but lingerie.

“What,” Rei asks, because he has to know. “What are we doing?”

Nagisa’s eyes flick down Rei’s body and back up.  “Anything you want.”

“Does this mean,” Rei swallows, but his throat is still thick and dry. “Do you like me?”

“Of course I do,” Nagisa says, like it’s obvious.

“I care about you very much,” Rei says, as sincerely as he can manage with his half-hard cock popping out of women’s undergarments. “I’d loathe myself if this were to ruin our friendship.”

Nagisa strokes his chin for a moment, like he’s thinking deeply. “I think it’d enhance it.”

“Do you… really?”

“Didn’t you say you’d teach me? I’m very serious about education, Rei-chan.” Rei snorts. “No really, I am. Especially if it involves swimming, History or you naked!”

And then Nagisa pounces, surprises him with kiss so hard that their teeth clack together. Their composition needs work, but somehow it’s wonderful. Rei is painfully aware that they need to stop and communicate and define this, whatever this is, but unfortunately they’re otherwise occupied and Nagisa’s tongue is so very distracting, licking wet and messy into Rei’s mouth, igniting his whole body. All Rei can do is grip Nagisa hard around the waist and support him, help him stay up on his toes, kiss him so hard that his lips start to go numb.

“So this,” Rei says, straightening his glasses when they pull back to breathe after a good attempt at what he believes is colloquially referred to as making out. “Just to clarify, would you say that this is the prelude to some sort of sexual intimacy?”

“Like I said,” Nagisa’s gaze flickers down to linger on Rei’s obvious erection, “anything you want.”

“Then perhaps you might start with,” Rei leans in closer, tugs at Nagisa’s shirt. “What I mean is… you’re somewhat overdressed.”

 “Oh,” says Nagisa, pulling off his baggy shirt without hesitation.

“Oh,” says Rei, because those remarkable leggings are even tighter than Rei originally assumed and without the shirt in the way, he can see just how hard Nagisa is.

“Help me out?” Nagisa asks. “I’m kind of uncomfortable.”

Rei nods and hooks his fingers inside the shiny material. He guides the leggings slowly, gently over his hips and down his legs until they catch around his feet and get stuck and Nagisa has to shuffle backwards to the bed, giggling as he falls down onto the mattress to kick them off. Rei watches helplessly as he whips off his yellow polka dot briefs in one movement.

“What now?” Rei asks. His voice is barely a squeak.

He’s trying not to be rude, trying not to stare, trying to ignore the fact that Nagisa’s sitting on his bed naked. He’s seen Nagisa in various stages of undress before, but his heart flips around stupidly at the sight of his pale, slender body.

“You could show me. What you do when you wear it,” Nagisa says. His innocent smile is a glaring contrasting with the way his legs are spread.

Rei freezes.

“Like, who do you wear it for?” Nagisa asks.

“Myself, of course!” Rei answers.

“So… you look at yourself, right?”

“I have to… determine if there are any areas of my body that need work,” Rei admits shyly.

Nagisa circles slowly around him, letting his eyes wander shamelessly up and down Rei’s body. If Rei arches his back and bends forward slightly, it’s only because he’s studied the most flattering angles for his body (vital knowledge, you see, for a sportsman and an ambassador of all things beautiful). If he stretches his arms up over his head, tenses his abs, elongates his legs, it’s only to present Nagisa with an accurate representation of how eye-catching lingerie can look on a hard, muscular body.

“Does it turn you on?” Nagisa asks. “Looking at yourself?”

“N-Nagisa-kun,” Rei splutters, scrambling out of his pose.

“Show me?” Nagisa whispers.

Rei has always envied Nagisa’s natural charm, his ability to move people, to inspire them to do things they didn’t know they were capable of. Maybe it’s his eyes, so warm and full of life or maybe, Rei has considered, maybe he’s a trained hypnotist. Regardless of the technical details, Nagisa has a unique suggestive power that has yet to be scientifically defined and Rei is particularly weak to it, and that’s how he ends up flat on his bed, teasing himself gently through his underwear while Nagisa lies beside him, breathing in his every move. It should be humiliating, on par with messing up a jump at a track meet or drowning in front of an entire swim team. It’s all kinds of things, but humiliating isn’t one of them.

“So you touch yourself,” Nagisa says.

“On occasion,” Rei admits, flushing.

And it’s not that he dresses up specifically to dirty his lingerie, it’s more like sometimes he’s overwhelmed by the sight himself, or sometimes the wearing of the lingerie and the pull of his natural urges just happen to coincide and he thinks it might be nice to be admired, touched, bent over, briefs tugged to the side and no, that’s not the point, the point is he can’t exactly turn off his natural urges (though god, he’s tried). Rei can still recall the sickening churn in his stomach the first time he realised he didn’t want just anyone to look him like this, he wanted Nagisa, because it’s always been Nagisa and now he’s here, watching Rei with stars in his eyes. Rei has to bite down hard on his own lip to prove it’s real.

“Please don’t be ashamed,” Nagisa says, looking worried as his thumbs bump down Rei’s ribs.

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei smirks, arching his hips up off the bed. “How could I be ashamed of this body?”

Nagisa rolls on top of Rei and rewards his confidence with a hard kiss. It’s all fumbling and messy and Rei’s leg gets stuck down the side of the bed and their hip bones scrape and that’s not particularly comfortable. When they shift, when their hard cocks press together, they gasp in sync, because god, god, that feels amazing. Nagisa recovers quickly as always, just smirks against Rei’s lips and does this this torturous little hip roll that turns Rei’s whole body to jelly. When Rei’s capable of responding with anything but a pitiful moan, he wraps his arms tight around Nagisa’s back, drags him closer and crushes their lips harder together until they’re rocking, grinding, in a clumsy, un-choreographed press, press, press. Rei can feel the friction of the lace against his cock and suddenly he isn’t so much kissing Nagisa as he is gasping his mouth and he feels something bubbling inside his body, tense and tight and he can’t, it’s too much, too soon, he has to stop immediately or -

Rei jerks away from the intimate touch and rolls out from under Nagisa, nothing but shudders and a cluster of gasping breaths. He grits his teeth as his body screams in frustration, begs for release and he just lies collapsed against the bed, aching and trembling and painfully on the edge.

“What’s wrong?” Nagisa asks breathlessly.

“I don’t want to...” Rei rasps. “I’ll ruin it.” He gestures down at the lingerie.

“Don’t take it off,” Nagisa insists.

Rei squeezes his hands into hard fists, digging his nails into his palms as a distraction, because honestly, the way Nagisa hooks a finger under a suspender strap and tugs as he looks up from under his eyelashes is not helping at all.

“Do you know how much... this cost?” Rei protests between gasps. “You won’t be the one… hand washing out the stains.”

“But you look so good,” Nagisa whines.

 Rei shivers. “Although that may be true, I really should…” He starts to push at his briefs.

“Wait,” Nagisa catches him around the wrist, stares directly at him. “Let me watch.”

“N-Nagisa-kun,” Rei says, and he didn’t think it was possible for a human to flush any hotter than he already was but apparently he’s a leader in the field of reddening faces.

“Show me,” Nagisa smiles sweetly and slides up so he’s sitting with his back against the wall. Rei is certain he’d be munching on popcorn, if he could acquire some without having to put on clothes.

Rei sighs. If Nagisa’s going to insist on watching (and Rei is starting to feel genuinely concerned about his voyeuristic tendencies) then he can’t just half-heartedly take them off.

“Wait there,” Rei instructs, climbing to his feet. Nagisa ignores Rei’s instructions, starts shuffle forward. “Don’t move,” Rei repeats, firmer this time. Nagisa nods slowly, mouth parted.

The snap of the first suspender makes Nagisa’s body jolt and to be perfectly honest, Rei finds that quite encouraging. He keeps his eyes locked on Nagisa as he unhooks his stockings, one suspender at a time. This should be mortifying but Nagisa’s practically drooling and they’ve gone so far now, he can’t bring himself to care. He pushes his hips out to one side as he takes off his suspender belt, slowly, like it’s a dance.

The way Nagisa’s staring pushes him over the edge, encourages him to put one leg up on his desk chair, toes pointed (Rei did dabble in the theory of ballet in his youth) and slowly roll down a stocking like his desk lamp is a spotlight and he’s the star of the show. He’s just starting on his other leg when he realises that there’s a playlist on his laptop with a selection songs with the ideal tempo for this sort of situation, but it would break the mood to wait the 20.5 seconds for his computer to start up, not to mention the extra time it would take to enter his passwords. Rei doesn’t need to hear music anyway, he feels the music as he lets his hips sway, fluid and effortless, relying on his natural agility and strength to stun Nagisa with the control he exhibits over his own body.

He hooks a thumb into one side of his underwear and pauses, chewing on his lower lip.

“Please,” Nagisa says desperately.

Rei keeps his gaze locked on Nagisa as he slips gracefully out of his briefs and Nagisa is clenching his fist, biting his nails. Rei just smirks throws his head back as he strips off his glasses as his final move. He stands and poses with them still in his hand for a moment, letting Nagisa catch his breath.

Nagisa actually applauds as stands up. Rei picks up his discarded garments from the floor and folds them into a neat pile on his desk.

“Did you practice that?” Nagisa asks, moving closer.

Rei shakes his head. “It flows from within,” he says, swelling with pride. “It must be the combination of my athletic body and my natural grace.”

“You’re amazing,” Nagisa gushes, “you’ve always been amazing,” and then he’s tugging Rei down for a heated kiss, dragging his hands through his hair, down his back, over any exposed skin he can reach.

Nagisa manoeuvres them backwards without breaking the kiss until Rei is sat on the bed, leaning back against propped up pillows, legs bent and close to his chest, Nagisa kneeling on the bed in front of him. One encouraging nudge and Rei spreads his legs. One sweep of Nagisa’s fingers up the length of his cock and he’s painfully tense and tight and oh -

“N-Nagisa-kun,” Rei says, breath hitching in his throat.

“It’s big,” Nagisa appreciates, and wraps his hand firmly around Rei’s aching cock.

His lips press to Rei’s neck. Rei is doomed. Nagisa’s so close that he’s out of focus, but Rei can just about make out the determined expression on his face as he moves his hand, slow and scorching and deliberate. Nagisa’s other hand trails down Rei’s thigh, low enough to make Rei pant harder.

“Have you ever touched yourself here?” Nagisa asks, fingers sneaking down between Rei’s spread legs, down over his ass.

“Have you?” Rei asks anxiously.

“Yeah,” Nagisa says. “It’s kinda weird. Nice though.”

“Oh,” Rei says, a wild thrill curling in his stomach.

“I’ve thought about the things I could do,” Nagisa admits. “The things we could do.”

The most embarrassing whine slips from Rei’s mouth as Nagisa’s finger teases over his entrance.

“Maybe next time,” he smirks, pulling back and next time? Next time? Rei’s brain is short circuiting at just the thought of this time.

Nagisa climbs into Rei’s lap (his lap) and straddles his thighs and steals his breath with another kiss and Rei’s panting so hard it’s embarrassing, surely his lungs don’t require that much air. He’s still skilfully pumping his hand it and it’s so breathtaking, he’s so close, but his grip is too loose, too careful, he’s being too gentle.

“Maybe…” Rei says, “if you wouldn’t mind…”

“Stop being so polite,” Nagisa hisses against his lips.

“Then perhaps…”

“Tell me what you want,” Nagisa insists.

“Harder,” Rei murmurs. “Please.”

Nagisa grins and then his hand is so tight, so fast, so hot, that Rei can barely stand it. He reaches clumsily for Nagisa’s cock but Nagisa shoves his hand away, whispers, “this is all about you” and Rei wants to protest but Nagisa’s a pro and his hand is as magical as the tongue licking in his mouth. Rei worried about what it’d be like, losing control, letting go like this in front of someone else, but this feels so natural, so right, and how very like Nagisa, to sweep in and turn everything upside down.

“Feel good?” Nagisa whispers, shifting so he’s sitting on Rei’s trembling thighs.

 “Y-Yes,” is all Rei can manage.

Nagisa pumps harder, drags out every moan and gasp Rei makes until his voice is nothing but a sore breathy croak. He’s too loud, he knows it, but he’s helpless, so close to the edge that he’s almost sobbing, lightheaded and woozy and out of control – so completely unlike himself that he’s somehow more like himself than he’s even been before. Nagisa whispers he’s beautiful, soft and encouraging against his mouth and it’s the last thing he can focus on before he comes undone, riding that hand to the end of the earth as his vision bursts into a cluster of bright colours.

Rei’s chest heaves as his body slumps back against the pillows. He lets his eyes fall closed. Nagisa presses their sweaty foreheads together, just for a moment, then he climbs to his feet, crossing the room to grab a tissue from Rei’s desk and returning to pat affectionately at the come splattered across Rei’s chest. Rei is a little moved, honestly. He had no idea that Nagisa understood the concept of cleaning up.

Nagisa looks extraordinary, flushed skin, wicked grin. His hair and his cock are both standing up proudly and Rei is so selfish for letting everything be all about him. He has no choice but to force the feeling back into his legs and back Nagisa up until he falls into the desk chair. He has no choice but to crawl between Nagisa’s legs and fix it.

“R-Rei-chan,” Nagisa stutters, as his legs are parted. “You don’t have to…”

“I’m aware,” Rei says. “I’d like to.”

Nagisa holds his breath as Rei moves closer, stares intently at the slightly blurry anatomy before him. Theoretically, it’s shouldn’t be so different to touching his own, but his heart is pounding out of his chest. He sighs softly and Nagisa shudders, hips jerking up on reflex. His erection bumps against Rei’s nose.

“A-Are you ok?” Rei asks, anxiously. “I only breathed on you.”

“S-Sorry,” Nagisa says, with a short sharp laugh. “It just felt good.”

Rei moves in closer and blows a soft breath of air, harder this time. Nagisa giggles and stretches his hips up lazily and it’s all the invitation Rei needs to press his lips against the wet head of his cock. Naturally, he’s done his research. He had to start reading up on the subject after suffering through an uncomfortable number of dreams about his half-naked teammates. He tries to recall the theory, start with your hands, stimulate the tip with a gentle lick… Rei values his research above most things. He also exercises his right to ignore it, on occasion, for example, in this instance when he sucks Nagisa’s into his mouth in one movement. He’s expecting to cough or choke. He takes Nagisa in like he was made for it.

“Oh my… god!” Nagisa gasps loudly, arching his hips up off the chair.

Rei looks up from under his eyelashes, mouth still full of Nagisa’s cock. He raises his eyebrows in a smug little I know and yes, he’s proud of the needy little whine it drags from Nagisa’s lips. Rei slides up to stimulate the sensitive head with his tongue and then sucks it all back into his mouth because previous evidence that suggested it to be a highly successfully move.

“How are you…” Nagisa tries, but the words fade out into a moan, “h-how did you…”

Rei pulls off with a wet pop. “It’s really not that difficult,” he shrugs, and then he’s taking Nagisa into his mouth again, hot and desperate like he needs it to survive.

Nagisa’s voice is loud and raw and he’s so responsive, so quick to react – he whimpers as Rei covers his trembling thighs with kisses, shivers as Rei’s fingers dance across his stomach, digs his nails into Rei’s shoulder every time he takes him deep – Rei could get addicted to this, he thinks as he licks greedily at his cock, leaving a wet trail of saliva that glistens under the lamp light. This is exceptionally dangerous.

Their eyes meet and Nagisa is such a beautiful mess, mouth falling open, hair in his eyes, all sweaty and pink and breathless. He’s so stunning that Rei has to stop for a moment and beg his blurry eyes to focus. When he takes him in his mouth again, he goes so fast and hard that Nagisa’s legs lift off the floor and drape over Rei’s shoulders. Nagisa pushes his feet hard against Rei’s back as he thrusts his hips, tugging and twisting at Rei’s hair, begging “please” between moans.

“Rei-chan,” Nagisa warns, voice rough and low, “Rei-cha-aah-aah!”

Rei wraps his arms tight around Nagisa as he tastes the warm, bitter come that fills the back of his throat. He holds Nagisa close as his body bucks and jumps and he stutters out Rei’s name again and again.

Nagisa slumps down into the chair after, raking his hand through his sweaty hair. “You must have…” he gasps, “done that before…”

“I haven’t,” Rei says, flattered. “I suppose I just have a natural talent for fellatio.”

Nagisa laughs, briefly, then they fall into an awkward silence, not quite daring to making eye contact. This is the part in movies where couples usually embrace. Nagisa’s looks so soft and inviting and Rei would quite like to give it a try but he’s not sure where to start. He offers his hand out to Nagisa who climbs shakily to his feet. Rei perches on the edge of his bed and feels Nagisa’s weight drop down beside him. Nagisa presses a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Rei-chan,” Nagisa says and Rei can hear the warmth smile without even looking at his face. “For sharing your secret.”

“Thank you,” Rei says, as Nagisa flops his messy head against Rei’s shoulder. Rei sneaks his arm around and this is familiar, this is just like their train journeys, apart from the nudity and the overwhelming smell of sex, of course.

Rei turns to look at Nagisa, who yawns, wide and noisy. He doesn’t even cover his mouth. Rei can see his tonsils. Rei is overpowered by the urge to kiss his nose, but he’s not sure if that’s too forward. He swallowed Nagisa’s semen not ten minutes ago, but of course, a nose kiss, that’s what’s going to take things too far. Nagisa giggles and crinkles his nose when Rei finally decides to go through with it.

“So, I’ll come with you,” Nagisa says smiling.

“Hmm?” Rei asks, wary that he might be walking into a post-orgasmic joke.

“The next time you go lingerie shopping,” Nagisa says.

“Absolutely not,” Rei says, turning his head away from Nagisa’s pouting face. “Do you think I just waltz into stores and start trying things on? I have a strict system for ordering online. I suppose I can show you my spreadsheets, if you’re interested, but...”

“We’ll go underwear shopping together!” Nagisa insists, the energy bursting back into his voice. “Don’t be uptight, Rei-chan.”

“Uptight?” Rei repeats, downright offended because Rei is not uptight. Rei works very hard to make ensure that he doesn’t come across as uptight. “Nagisa-kun. I refuse to allow our first date to take place in a lingerie store.”

“A date?” Nagisa says, springing his head up off Rei’s shoulders to shake him enthusiastically. “Y-You’re taking me on a date! I’m so excited! Buy me an ice cream.”

“I suppose I could. If your glucose levels are low…”

“And hold my hand!”

“Alright,” Rei accepts.

“And get me a pet penguin!”

“Nagisa-kun, you’re getting carried away…”

“So at about 3pm, right,” Nagisa says, “all the penguin keepers take a break at exactly the same time, so all you have to do is go to the zoo and…”

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei sighs, “I really can’t take you anywhere.”

“I’d love to take you everywhere, Rei-chan,” Nagisa smiles, and it’s so warm and genuine that Rei has to just stop and stare for a moment. He can’t quite find the right words to respond to that one.