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Crowley stayed silent for almost the whole bus ride. Aziraphale not looking anywhere else but out the window, deep sighs exhaling from his nose. He couldn't bare to look at Crowley, what was he supposed to say? He felt so out of touch with himself. Yes, Armageddon was averted, and yes, they had no more sides to worry about, but was this really the end of being bothered by Heaven and Hell?
"Angel..." Crowley broke the silence as the bus came to a halt to let the first few people off. Aziraphale jolted out of his state of being zoned out and looked over a Crowley with what looked like glossy eyes.
"Aziraphale, please don't cry."
"This is far from over, dear." Aziraphale kept his eyes on Crowley, who was looking more visibly concerned for him.
"If I have anything to do about it, nothing will happen, Zira. Please trust me." Crowley's eyebrows furrowed together, he hated seeing his angel so upset, after everything they had been through, 6000 years of dancing around one another, and helping each other in every possible way, even if it put their selves at risk, Crowley felt it was all worth the trouble.
"I don't think you can do anything, my dear.." Aziraphale began. "But I appreciate the sentiment, and... of course, I trust you."
"Then let me figure out what to do. For now, until they feel like bothering us again, it's just you and me. That's how it's always been, but..." Crowley stopped himself before he got too emotional. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and clenched his eyes shut, sighing long and heavy.
"But what?"
"It's different now, Angel." Crowley looked at him again, but this time his eyes were soft and needing, like all he could see was Aziraphale and nothing else mattered, and in a big way that were true.
"Different in what way?" Aziraphale could see Crowley was keeping something from him.
"We should feel free, y'know? But we aren't. We saved the world and yet we're in more danger than ever, and now we're on our way to my flat to figure out if swapping bodies is even a good idea." Crowley could feel the anger being built up inside of him. "I just don't want to lose you, Angel. I can't and won't let that happen. Not on my watch." At this point, Crowley was looking dead into Aziraphale's crystal blue eyes, so sweet and innocent, it almost made Crowley feel guilty for having corrupted him so long ago. He felt like the Angel was better off without him most times but Aziraphale had always reassured him that they were a team and that no matter what, he cared for Crowley and wouldn't leave his side.
"I've never been more scared, yet so comfortable around you, Crowley. You've always been so very kind to me. You may not like to hear it, but you have been, and I appreciate you so." Aziraphale rested his hand on Crowley's knee, Crowley's eyes widened, staring at the soft hand not leaving his body. It felt like a feather, a beautiful white angelic feather. He took a gulp and looked away from the angel, trying to reel in his emotions. Crowley was never good at expressing his emotions, although he found it easier when he was around the one person he trusted more than anyone. The Angel, HIS Angel.
~ ~
The bus stopped again, another stop to go and they'd be right in front of Crowley's place. They were both so exhausted and miserable, they just wanted to get off the bus and in the comforts of Crowley's flat and continue their misery drinking down their finest wines.
Crowley realized that Aziraphale’s hand was still on his knee after a few minutes of being zoned out.
"Angel... Your hand, it's still on me knee."
"Yes, I'm well aware, you look as though you needed some comfort. I think we both do at this point. If it's a problem I can-" Aziraphale went to pull his hand away, but Crowley stopped him, their hands on each other’s. A metaphorical shock hit them both at full force and all they could do was stare at one another.
"You were the worried one, you were crying angel, if anyone needs comfort it's you." Crowley spoke in a tone so soft that Aziraphale almost didn't hear him.
"I just can't bear the thought of not having you around." Aziraphale realized his mind was wired, not knowing how exactly to discuss the topic of deep emotion with Crowley without scaring him off. He knew Crowley wasn't the best at expressing himself although he found a safe place in the presence of Aziraphale and knew he could open up more around him.
“Aziraphale I’m not going anywhere, we’re in this together, like I said, we’re on OUR side, no one else’s, just ours. Don’t ever think that I won’t be here for you.” Crowley felt himself getting worked up with emotion that made him impossibly uncomfortable, but he was always putting himself out of his comfort zone for Aziraphale, he would do anything to make him happy and safe, this was no exception.
He realized Aziraphale had went from just having his hand over Crowley’s, to fully locking fingers with him, without him even realizing it. His cheeks felt hot, he felt dizzy, this had never happened before. He knew Aziraphale cared for him, but he never touched him this way, never intertwined themselves to one another. Was saving the world the push Aziraphale needed to finally feel free enough to be this way around Crowley? Of course, Crowley wasn’t complaining, and he knew the angel needed comfort in any ways possible, Crowley’s hand would be there to hold whenever the angel needed it, and anything else he could offer, he would offer it tenfold. He gently caressed his thumb across Aziraphale’s knuckle, trying not to look in his direction, but he could see the angel looking directly at him from his peripheral vision. Just as he was about to say something, Aziraphale beat him to it.
“You know, I was thinking.” Crowley turned to him suddenly. “If we so happen to be taken away by our… less than respected head offices, there might be a way to save ourselves after all.” Aziraphale’s eye lit up brighter than Crowley had seen them all night, well for a while really. He didn’t answer, instead arched an eyebrow, waiting for Aziraphale to continue.
“Look, the prophecy. Agnus Nutter said, “When all is faced and all is done, ye must choose your faces wisely.”
Crowley still looked puzzled.
“My dear boy, I think she’s referring to us.”
“How can you be so sure?” Crowley asked, sitting up from his slumped position to face the angel more accurately.
“There’s no one I trust but you, Crowley. If I’d want anyone to take my place, in my body, to save my life, it would be you and no one else. Who else have I spent over 6000 years around?”
Crowley sighed, he knew exactly what the angel meant, because he felt the same exact way. He didn’t know how it happened, or why it happened, but this bus ride ended up being the best night of his life, he could listen to the angel praise him all night, he’d do the very same.
“You’re suggesting we switch bodies in order to save one another? I don’t know angel, what if something goes wrong, I mean we’ve never done that before. I can’t risk anything happening to you.” Crowley’s hand gripped at the angels, not wanting to ever let go. The thought of something happening to him down in hell if something went wrong sent an uncomfortable shock down his spine.
“We may not have a choice, we have to try dear. This may be our last chance at being free forever, no more being spied on, no more worrying about our sides coming after one another. If we do this, and we succeed? We’ll be free. Free to be with one another for all eternity, no strings attached.” With that, Crowley knew his angel truly loved him, how could he deny it? He could for once in his demon life feel the love coming off of the angel like he never felt before. He wanted to save Crowley, and Crowley wanted to save him.
“Angel…” Crowley sighed a deep breath and looked at him with desperate eyes, like he needed to express his gratitude in a way he never did before. His heart was beating a million miles a minute, he forgot he even had a heart before it started thumping against his chest.
“Yes, darling?”
Crowley briefly closed his eyes and gulped, knowing what he was about to do next would either make or break this interaction, but he felt like he was floating, floating in a pool of love and needed to do something about it before he discorporated.
“Honestly angel there’s no one’s face I’d rather have than yours right now.” Crowley took a deep breath and grabbed the angel, kissing him with such gentle care that he thought maybe he wasn’t kissing him at all, until he felt Aziraphale melt into him, placing his right hand on the lower part of Crowley’s back, almost pushing him closer towards him to feel his body completely against his. He needed this, to feel this. He waited so long to have his angel, it wasn’t even the temptation he felt anymore, after so many years it turned into something so much more. He was hopelessly in love with Aziraphale, and finally after all this he was able to show it and not care what hell or heaven had to say about it. Maybe their mission was dangerous, and who knows, it could go horribly wrong. But at this moment, as Crowley and Aziraphale deepened their kiss, little moans and plenty of tears falling from their eyes, they had all the confidence in the world that everything would turn out okay.
And I suppose if you asked them the next day if everything went alright, they’d walk up to you, hand in hand, with big smiles on their faces and tell you they never felt more free than they did in that very moment.