Work Text:
Films represents depression as people who look really bad, who don't take care of themselves and have dirty hair or clothes and bags under their eyes. Someone who sleeps too much, who is always on bed, who commit self-harm and suicide. Someone very sad, very quiet, very dead.
Sometimes depression don't look like that. You could 'seem' to be happy, you can get up of bed and go to school or work, you socialize with your classmates, you go home and do your homework or chores, you chat with people and tell them you're fine and you actually laugh with them and talk about normal things, you go out with your friends, you smile, you laugh, and you repeat each day over and over again. And everyone sees you and thinks you're fine, or if they know you're a bit bad mentally they think you're doing well, that you're not feeling that bad.
Well, depression is not a feeling and less an exterior thing. We should remember it's mental. It's on the inside. And at the end of the day you see how hard it is to keep going like that, and you know it's all fake, and you won't be able to do it forever, but after many years you learned how to pass from fictional depression to a real one. Because, it is not like people think it is. And you never know how it is until you experience yourself. All the happy moments you think you're having and maybe are improving your days or your mental health are fake, suddenly you realized you don't know what happiness is. You thought you lost happiness the moment you got depressed, but for impossible it looks like...yes, it keeps worsening.
And you end to be empty. No feelings. No conscious. Just a robot repeating the estructure of the days. And then it's when you know, that you're not human anymore, you're not alive, you've become depression itself. And you can't scape from it.