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Brian May was not a jealous person - especially when it came to his best friends. At least that's what he always told himself. He always wanted the best for his bandmates and maintained a cheerful composure when John would talk about his longtime girlfriend, or when Freddie bragged about having to choose between multitudes of women and men practically throwing themselves at him. But when it came to Roger, he had a harder time feigning excitement seeing the blonde seemingly every other week with a new woman draped over his shoulder.
Brian wasn't sure what attracted him to Roger, but he had known he had feelings for the younger man since he met him during their days in Smile. He hadn't ever even been attracted to another man before meeting the shockingly beautiful young blonde. He very quickly, however, realized how much of a ladies man Roger was, and knew he would forever have to suppress and try to forget his unexplained attraction to one of his best friends. For many years he easily pushed his feelings aside and tried to enjoy the blessing of being in Roger's life, even if only as his friend.
And it wasn't as if Brian sat around moping his whole life about his unrequited love. There were certainly people who would want a chance with Brian, but most of his past relationships didn't last for very long. He had dated a few girls - and boys, but preferred to keep those under the radar over fear of being ridiculed by the world for being gay- but was always the one to break it off after a few months. Brian felt too guilty about leading innocent women on when all he could do was imagine that Roger was in their place.
Things came completely crashing down in Brian's life one night after playing a mediocre gig in a shoddy bar. Queen had accumulated a few loyal fans at this point, but seemed to be going nowhere due to night after night of playing small shows at bars and pubs all around England. Freddie, however, was the most enthusiastic member of the band and insisted once they released an album they would skyrocket to stardom.
Brian was more than ready to drown his disappointment in his own performance that night in as much alcohol as his body would let him consume while he carefully packed his Red Special away in its case. He sighed gently as he pushed open the door that led outside in the back of the establishment, wondering where the rest of his bandmates had gone off to. At least part of his question was answered as he was frozen in his tracks by seeing Roger pressed up against the brick wall with some random woman kissing all over the blonde's neck. Neither of them seemed to notice Brian's presence as his eyes remained glued to the scene a mere few feet away from him. In fact, Roger and Brian both turned their attention to the door as it clicked open for the second time that night.
Freddie waltzed past Brian towards their van, throwing his jacket from their performance in the back of the vehicle. "Oh get a room, Taylor!" Freddie shouted as he sauntered back past Brian, who was still stuck in his original place. Both Roger and the woman shot a glare in Freddie's direction as he swung the door open and disappeared as quickly as he appeared. Roger's gaze slowly shifted over to Brian as the woman returned, essentially unbothered, to her previous activities. They held eye contact for a few awkward seconds before Roger's mouth slowly turned into a smirk, making a blush slowly creep up Brian's cheeks. Brian quickly realized how long he had been staring and turned around to finish what he had actually came outside to do in the first place. He gently placed his guitar in the van and fumbled with closing the doors, knowing that Roger's gaze was still burning into the back of his skull. His legs appeared to move without any thought as he swiftly tried to go back into the bar, but not before catching one more glance at Roger. The younger man locked eyes with Brian again and winked while moaning loudly as his potential hookup sucked on his neck. Brian felt his pants begin to tighten as he rushed inside, hastily making his way to the crowded bar. He ordered a beer and buried his head in his hands, rubbing up and down his temples.
Why would Roger have done that? Maybe he knows of my crush on him? Maybe he was just trying to be funny? Maybe he also feels something for me? No, no, that wouldn't happen. Roger has only ever been with girls, and certainly wouldn't go for me even if he was into men.
A million thoughts raced through Brian's head as he sat on the barstool and stared at the wall, barely paying attention to the drink in front of him. He spent the next few hours sipping on a few beers and meticulously picking apart the meaning of the night's happenings before being snapped out of his haze by a gentle, but firm hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Roger smiling down at him, clearly intoxicated from a night of drinking and mingling around the bar. "H-Hey, Brian," Roger hiccuped, letting his arm slide down Brian's shoulder onto his bicep. Brian immediately tensed at the contact but either his friend was too wasted to notice or simply just didn't care. "John sent me over to get you. He said that w-we should going s-soon."
Brian simply nodded and stood up from his barstool, causing Roger to lose grip on his arm and Brian swore he saw a small pout appear on Roger's face for a second. Nevertheless, he began to search for his other bandmates, walking fairly steadily as the effects of his few warm beers had almost completely worn off. He glanced behind himself to see Roger stumbling over his own feet while struggling to keep up with the speed of Brian's long legs amidst the sea of people. Brian decided to push all of his emotions and took a few steps back in order to grab Roger's hand, starting to pull him through the crowd. He tried to focus on finding John or Freddie but was distracted by the feeling of Roger occasionally bumping into his back and the blonde's warm breath on his neck that reeked of alcohol.
"So, where were you all night?" Roger breathed into Brian's ear, his voice barely above a whisper. "I missed seeing you..except for our little meeting outside." Roger giggled and Brian tried to ignore the question. Luckily for Brian, he spotted John and Freddie standing near the exit, talking to some people he didn't recognize. He remained silent and guided himself and Roger right next to their bandmates.
"Hey Brian," John greeted him with a smile. "We missed seeing you all night. I was thinking we could head out soon, if that's alright with you."
"No!" Roger interjected with a pout, gripping tightly onto Brian's arm. "I want to stay longer!"
"I agree with John, it's getting late and I'm bored of all the people in here. And you've had more than enough to drink tonight, darling," Freddie chimed in, mainly directing his attention at Roger. Although, there was a strange expression hidden in Freddie's statement that Brian quickly noticed, but could not easily decipher. Freddie and Roger were arguably the closest two of the group and Brian had no choice but to assume that Freddie was on to something that everybody else was in the dark about. Brian decided to push it aside after seeing no reaction from John or Roger about it.
Brian nodded in agreement to the conversation and Roger huffed in disappointment as they all started to make their way outside, still clinging on to Brian like his life depended on it. John was the most sober and quickly took to the driver's seat, while Freddie called shotgun and somewhat sprinted to the car leaving Brian to sit in the back with his very intoxicated best friend. Roger immediately laid down across the entire backseat, letting his head rest on Brian's thighs. Brian immediately tensed again, feeling a deep blush spread across his face that thankfully went unnoticed by his bandmates in the darkness of the van. The drive back to their shared flat was quiet and somewhat tranquil - Freddie and Brian choosing to gaze silently out of the van windows into the dreary streets, Roger drifting in and out of a light sleep on Brian's lap, with John tentatively keeping his focus on the road ahead of him.
When they finally arrived home, Brian gently shook Roger awake as the other two got out of the van. "Can't you just carry me inside?" Roger pouted, sitting up to face Brian and pursing his bottom lip out.
"Aren't you a little big for that, Roger?" Brian tried to sound annoyed to cover up his nervousness as his friend's proposition.
"Please?" Roger batted his eyelashes. Brian sighed and agreed to help him walk inside, similar to how he had walked with him in the bad. They all separated once inside the flat, leaving to their respective rooms once goodnights were exchanged.
After restlessly pacing around his room for a few minutes instead of trying to fall asleep, Brian opened his door as quietly as possible and peeked his head out into the hallway. He could see that both Freddie and John's lights were off but there was still a faint glow coming from under Roger's door that was also cracked open. Brian took a deep breath and decided to take his chances, tiptoeing into the hallway and making his way to their small kitchen.
He rummaged through the refrigerator, half-smiling when he found an old bottle of vodka that was sitting forgotten on the bottom shelf. He sighed, leaning against the counter staring at the bottle in his hands. Brian wasn't one to drink away his problems or try to drown his feelings in alcohol in the middle of the night alone in the kitchen, but today's events really got under his skin. He slowly slunk down to sit on the floor, his legs sticking straight out with his back against the cabinets, and screwed the cap off of the bottle. Brian absentmindedly took small swigs while letting his mind wander, staring at the dim glow the light over their small table cast on the cheap linoleum floor. He had long since buried his schoolboy crush on Roger after first meeting him, but recently it began to surface and showed no signs of going away again.
As much as he didn't want to admit it, Brian had his fair share of fantasies about his best friend. He would silently jerk off in his room, imagining the things they would do to each other. And with all of the cheap vodka coursing through his body, he slowly started to remember some of his old illusions.
Roger pushes Brian up against the shower wall, allowing the warm water to spray over both of them. He lightly peppers kisses along Brian's neck and down to his collar bones as his fingers dig into both sides of Brian's hipbone.
"You've wanted this for a while now, haven't you?" Roger whispers against the older man's skin. Brian sheepishly nods as one of Roger's hands trails towards his almost painfully hard cock and hovers over it. "Tell me you want this."
"I want this," Brian breathes out. "I want you." Roger grins and gently wraps his hand around Brian's cock. He moves his hand up and down the shaft agonizingly slow as Brian slips his eyelids almost completely shut in ecstasy. "You look so beautiful," Brian grins and his smile is immediately matched by his partner. Roger starts to speed up his movements, occasionally slipping his thumb over the tip of Brian's cock. A high whine escapes Brian's throat, causing a slight blush to creep across his face. Roger softly laughs and places sloppy kisses all around Brian's face. "Rog, I-I'm gonna cum," Brian whispers, still thoroughly embarrassed.
"Then cum for me, Brian," Roger demands through a wicked smirk plastered on his face.
Brian was suddenly ripped from his thoughts by a small clamor coming from one of the bedrooms down the hall. He set the bottle down and groaned, realizing how hard his fake encounter with Roger had made him. The room spun as Brian jolted to his feet and although he wasn't completely wasted, he certainly felt tipsy enough to take a few seconds and steady himself by gripping onto the countertop. He slipped his eyes shut and listened for any further noises, intrigued to hear a voice that he easily interpreted as Roger's muttering soft curses. Brian reluctantly opened his eyes and gently padded down the hall to peek into Roger's room.
He suppressed a gasp at being greeted by the sight of Roger clothed only in a tight pair of briefs, bending over with his back to the door. Brian's body seemed to move on it's own accord as he pushed the door open, the creaky nature of their apartment allowing the door to let out a wretched squeak. Roger stood up and turned around at the noise, allowing Brian to see that he had been standing over a pile of vinyl records scattered on the floor. The blonde's new stature also gave Brian a few of his best friend's front, leaving nothing to the imagination. Brian silently cursed himself for not changing out of his tight denim trousers as his cock twitched at the sight in front of him.
"Oh, sorry Bri. I didn't mean to wake you but it seems I dropped my records," Roger smirked but Brian was too inebriated to notice the sarcasm in his voice. Before he had time to respond, Roger added, "Could you help me pick them up?"
Brian was still struck speechless and simply nodded, walking over to the pile and began to gather the records in his hands after bending down. He stared at the floor and crossed his legs, hoping Roger hadn't noticed the bulge beginning to show through his pants. Roger had joined him on the floor and was absentmindedly running his fingers over a record while staring at Brian, which went unnoticed by the latter who was focusing on his current task. "You know, Rog, you really should be more careful with these. I don't know why you tried to carry so many at once but records can break eas-" Brian's chastisement was cut off by Roger gently pressing his lips against the older man.
Brian quickly reciprocated the kiss, his level of sobriety at that moment allowing him to disregard any consequences that might come of passing line of just best friends with the blonde. Roger moved so that he was straddling Brian's hips, barely disconnecting his lips from the other. They both pulled away once the need to breathe became too much but Roger quickly attached his lips to Brian's neck, eliciting a breathy moan from him. "Tell me you want this," Roger murmured into Brian's skin. Brian was reminded how painfully hard he was as Roger ground his hips down and his words that mimicked Brian's fantasy rang through his ears.
"I want this," Brian quietly responded. "I want you Roger, I need you." He internally cringed at how needy he sounded, practically begging for his best friend to have sex with him but all his inhibitions were wiped away when Roger roughly palms his cock through his jeans. He loudly breathed something just short of a moan and bucked his hips up instinctively into Roger's hand.
"Someone's eager," Roger laughed, standing up from his position on Brian's lap. "Come on, let's do this somewhere more comfortable." As soon as Brian stood up, Roger pulled him close by his belt loops, brushing their clothed erections together. Brian simply stared in awe at the almost completely naked man in front of him while Roger slowly unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall from his shoulders. Roger quietly hummed as he let his hands roam across the expanse of Brian's now exposed chest, clearly happy with what he saw. A small whimper escaped Brian's throat as Roger reattached his mouth to the taller man's collarbone and he fumbled with the zipper on his trousers.
Brian let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding in as Roger swiftly pulled his jeans and underwear down in one motion, fully exposing him to his friend. Roger eagerly licked his lips at the sight presented to him, pushing Brian backwards until he ungracefully fell onto the mattress. They both let out a laugh and Roger shamelessly took his own briefs off, smiling as Brian raked his eyes over Roger's body.
"Like what you see?" Roger teased as he crawled back on top of Brian.
"Very much," Brian breathed, locking eyes with the man above him. Roger gave him a small smile and pecked him quickly on the lips.
"You're not so bad looking yourself," Roger grinned, sliding one of his hands down to press his fingertips into Brian's hipbone. "God, I can't believe how gorgeous you are sometimes."
Brian flushed at the compliment and keened under Roger's touch, who had begun to make small circular movements with his thumb along Brian's hip. They shared another chaste kiss before Roger moved down the bed so his head was between Brian's legs. Brian let out a shuddery breath as Roger licked a stripe up the length of his cock and took only the tip into his mouth. It seemed as if Roger was made to do this and Brian was a writhing, babbling mess below the younger man within minutes. "I-I'm close, Rog," Brian stuttered out just as the blonde took almost all of him in his mouth and gently sucked, hollowing his cheeks. Roger popped his mouth off of Brian with an obscene noise and got off the bed, walking over to his dresser.
Brian was disappointed as the loss of contact whilst being so close to release and let out a huff of discontent as Roger rummaged through the drawers, but his excitement quickly returned when the other man turned back around with a bottle of lube in one hand and a condom packet in the other. "Didn't want you to finish before the fun even starts," Roger quipped, plopping back down on the bed in his previous position. The bottle cap being clicked open was one of the only sounds in the room other than the laboured breathing from both parties and silence fell over them as Roger lubed up his fingers.
Brian sucked in a short breath as he felt Roger's finger circling his entrance. After mouthing at his cock some more, Brian had relaxed enough for Roger to ease his finger in. He spent many long minutes opening the brunette up, eventually adding his second and third fingers. Brian was almost lost in the euphoria of sensation that he barely recognized that he had started talking. "I've wanted you for so long, I've had so many fantasies about you," he moaned out as Roger brushed his fingers against his prostate.
"Really?" Roger knew his friend was a little under the influence but decided to press further with the topic. "And what do you fantasize about me, Brian?"
"Anything, everything," Brian pants out, trying to push himself down onto Roger's fingers. "You wanking me off in the shower, you fucking me at the studio…" Brian trails off once Roger stops moving his fingers and looks up to meet his hooded, lustful gaze. He wonders whether he should be embarrassed that he just admitted to fantasizing about his best friend, but the way Roger is breathing heavily and is flushed down to his chest tells Brian that the younger man is turned on by it.
" Fuck ," Roger muttered and removed his hand, wiping it on his sheets. He fumbled for the condom but was stopped by Brian's hand on his wrist. Normally Brian would never sleep with somebody for the first time without protection, but feels he can trust Roger and doesn't want a barrier between them; but maybe that's just the alcohol clouding his brain. "You're sure?" Roger asks one last time and Brian softly nods his head, making his curls bounce on the pillow beneath him.
Roger wasted no time in lining himself up with Brian's entrance after lubing his own cock up properly, and they both let out long moans as Roger fully seated himself in the older man. Once Brian gave him a small nod, Roger began to shallowly and slowly thrust into his partner. "Come on Roger, actually fuck me," Brian whined, surprising both of them.
"Gladly," Roger laughed, taking one of Brian's legs and putting it over his shoulder while he started a brutal pace of practically slamming into the other man. Brian gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles began to turn white as the new angle allowed Roger to hit his prostate on almost every thrust. They both were moaning too loudly to be considerate of their sleeping flatmates, but neither had the room in their minds to care. Intoxication and exhaustion both creeping up on them, they knew they wouldn't last very long but continued at their tortuous pace.
Brian unexpectedly clenched around Roger while his jaw went slack in a silent scream, cumming completely untouched onto his stomach. Roger moaned loudly at the sight below him of Brian reaching his climax and had enough mind left to pull out before finishing quickly after, adding to the mess on the taller man's stomach.
Brian was almost immediately overcome with sleep and vaguely remembered Roger cleaning him off and giving him a kiss goodnight before wrapping them both up in a blanket.
~~~~~
The next morning, Brian felt his heart clench at the sight in front of him. Roger had one arm draped over Brian's stomach, his head lying comfortably on the older man's chest. His mouth was slightly ajar with rhythmic soft breaths escaping his mouth and his other hand tracing patterns along Brian's side. They had both woken up minutes ago, Roger smiling up at Brian with sleepy eyes just to lay his head back down seemingly content with the situation. Neither had tried to say anything, knowing both there was a million things that needed to be said but also that the first words spoken would disturb the peaceful bubble of what they shared last night that they were still basking in, and having to face whatever was to come of their friendship.
Throwing all his inhibitions aside and swallowing the lump in his throat, Brian finally decided to speak. "So...was this just a one time thing or is it something more?" He tried to sound as confident as possible but knew there was a slight quiver to his voice as the words tumbled out.
Roger quickly sat up and pulled his knees to his chest, his bare back facing Brian. He scratched at the back of his neck and stared into the distance for a few moments before turning to face his best friend, a small smile appearing on his face.
"I dunno, Brian. Do you want it to be something more?"