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The first thing he sends is a text.
Patrick: Don’t worry about coming into the store. Take all the time you need.
Patrick goes in and opened the store, alone, like usual. He never used to mind the quiet mornings in the store until David was ‘presentable for human consumption’ anytime after 9:30.
Today, though, every time the bell over the door jangles, he hopes it is David. It never is. Patrick tells himself he shouldn’t expect it. He looked at David’s devastated face after finding out that Patrick had been keeping things from him. Patrick knows he won’t be seeing David for at least a couple of days.
Doesn’t make it any easier, though.
The second thing he sends is flowers.
Half way through day two, with David never entering like the doors to the store are curtains and he is making his grand entrance, Patrick attempts to update their online database. Somehow in the process, he has ended up on a local florist’s website instead.
His dad bought his mom flowers for all kinds of situations, including apologies. Mom would always smile her small smile and tell Dad he didn’t have to. Then she would make a big deal of putting them in a vase and positioning them on the table. Days would go by until they finally died, and every day she would make a comment about them.
He has never gotten flowers for David.
Patrick clicks through the site, trying to find an arraignment that conveyed what he wanted to say.
Is there a flower arraignment that says ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I had an ex-fiancee or that she wanted to get back together’?
He doesn’t think so.
Eventually, Patrick decides on the one that says elegant because David’s taste runs towards elegant most times. Discussions of clean lines and careful editing came back to him as he made sure the arraignment will be delivered with a nice vase. Patrick is fairly certain the motel does not have vases and if they do they would not be up to David’s particular standard.
Patrick kind of hopes when the Roses bring David the flowers, it will remind him of the cookie and he might want to come talk.
At least, David will enjoy the flowers, he hopes.
The third thing he sends is another text message.
Consciously, he knows David needs space. It makes sense. Patrick is fine with space. Going from seeing someone for six or more hours every day to zero with next to no communication is what Patrick imagines trying to quit cigarettes cold turkey is like.
He doesn’t like it.
Patrick waits until he’s closing the store. Texting David personal things doesn’t seem right but they are business partners and the run this business. So instead, Patrick sends him a picture of the lip balms lined up neatly on the front of cash.
Patrick: Pina Colada and Passion Fruit are back in.
David: good
David: (...)
David: did you remember to reorder them in alphabetical order
The first joke Patrick wants to make is a grammar joke, and to tell David that the order form already comes in alphabetical order, but he doesn’t think it will go over well via text. Instead, he sends a sarcastic text.
Patrick: You didn’t want me to just put them at the end?
Then he thinks better of that text because if David is not speaking to him because of Rachel, then chances are even greater he definitely won’t speak to him if he messed up the store. Rapidly, he types again. Patrick cannot afford to make things worse
Patrick: Of course I did. Zoom in on the picture.
David: thanks they look good
David: (...)
David: everything ok at the store
Patrick: Yeah.
Patrick: It’s quiet.
His hands keep typing and he knows he should stop but his thumb hits send before he can make himself delete the words.
Patrick: I miss you.
Patrick’s stomach re-opens into pit that was formed on the evening of the barbecue. He watches the message go from unread to read, then the little dots show up as David is typing and deleting, typing and deleting. Patrick tries to keep his stomach from revolting in anxiety.
David: im not ready
Patrick feels the bottom of his world drop out. He could understand that, he could. Even if he hated it. Still, standing in front of the windows looking out over “downtown” Schitt’s Creek, he’s not about to let himself break down and cry. No one needs to see that. Brewers aren’t criers, they’re doers
Instead, Patrick sends a thumbs up emoji, like a complete moron. It would have been fine if this were a normal conversation. Nothing had been normal since the barbecue and nothing about this situation is a good thing. He doesn’t really have any thumbs up to give.
The fourth thing he sends is wine.
Day three at the store is just as lonely. No one following Patrick around saying incorrect to his placement of products. No one to make a big deal about deliveries being later then when David had mentally scheduled them. Speaking of deliveries, Patrick knows the flowers should have already been delivered to David yesterday.
Still, every jingle of the bell taunts him. He wants David to burst in, arms akimbo, as he talks about flowers and embarrassing gesture and stays long enough to build a bridge over the chasm.
Patrick: I know you are taking time, which is great.
Patrick: But I thought you would like to know that we had a big order come in for body milk.
Patrick: Don’t worry, I told them it’s not for drinking.
David: 🙄
David: i swear you and stevie are like the only two people who don’t know that body milk is for your body
David: i have been kidnapped by the way
David: by stevie
David: she’s making me go to a spa
Patrick: Good. That’s good. Enjoy.
Stevie has him, will take care of David, make sure he eats, listen to him complain. David will be fine.
The verdict is still out on Patrick.
Patrick wants to know if David got the flowers. If he likes them. Are they sitting in David’s room now or did he throw them out? Should he have picked a different arraignment.
Patrick forces himself to tuck the phone away in the drawer. Better to put it out of sight before he can text anything he regrets.
It’s only a half an hour later when the phone in the drawer starts vibrating. Not just one text, but a few back to back. Thankfully, the store is empty, so Patrick doesn’t entirely embarrass himself on his clumsy, mad-dash to the drawer.
David: stevie told them that we were newlyweds
David: they think this is our honeymoon
David: she is crazy
David: i cannot
Patrick finds himself smirking at Stevie’s antics, although he would probably be as flustered as David when faced with this kind of surprise. It sounds exactly like the kind of too much that Patrick does not know what to do with
Patrick: What spa did she take you to?
David: the crystal something in elmdale David: its like a cartoon
David: towel swans and a bathtub right next to the bed
Now visions of taking David on a real honeymoon dance through Patrick’s head. It seems far too presumptuous considering the current state of their four month long relationship. Still, what does it say that it’s been four months and Patrick already wants forever?
He can’t think about that right now.
Patrick: Sounds like fun. Is it free?
David: why are you both like this
David: was there something done to you as children to make you crazy
Patrick: Enjoy it.
The next thing Patrick knows, he tapping away at his computer, looking up spas in Elmdale that are also hotels with crystal in the name. Crystal Elms pops up first thing. Needing to be sure it’s the right one, he clicks through to honeymoon package. The images show a large spa tub, towel swans, like a lot, and rose petals and full columns around the tub that David neglected to mention.
Down at the bottom there is information about a Lovebirds dinner. Rather than over-thinking it, Patrick dials the front desk and asks for their wine list. He listens closely and picks a bold but fruity red and leaves a message for the “newlyweds.” He makes sure that it be delivered from Patrick. David would know and understand the message; he hopes.
The fifth thing he sends is chocolate.
Day four is like every other day he’s spent at the shop since The Barbecue as it now lives in his memory. The shop is lonely, despite the steady stream of customers. There’s no one to talk with or tease or make out with in back rooms, which was banned after the half-hickey incident but Patrick would totally reinstate just to get David back in the door. The Roses are also noticeably absent from the store. In fact, Patrick is ahead on all of his original goals for the week and their product loss is at all time lows.
So, when Patrick wakes up on Day Five, he knows something else has to be done.
The day before, Patrick received a thank you text for the wine and quick conversation about how the spa had gone, including being pelted with rose petals. Day Four was otherwise quiet.
Day five begins with a two AM request to see the texts from Rachel for the past few months. Patrick sends the whole thing off before even getting out of bed. Patrick had thought about adding in background information, his own personal thoughts, who was being referred to. In the end, what difference did all that make? David wanted to know if Rachel was a threat and if Patrick had been thinking about seeing her while he was seeing David. The texts would answer that.
Fifteen minutes later, mid-brushing his teeth, Patrick can’t help but worry that David might be reading them without any sign that David matters to Patrick. It’s time to bring a bigger olive branch to the party.
He’d done some searching for his monthly anniversary gifts and had already picked out a chocolatier the fifth month’s gift. However, desperate times call for desperate measures. Last thing Patrick wants to not get to five months because he was holding back a gift.
Besides, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Especially David’s.
For five months, Patrick’s plan was to order a comically big box of chocolates to upset and impress David. Instead he chooses to open the store late, stopping to leave a small sign on the front door. Patrick drives over himself and carefully selects twenty, hand-crafted truffles just for David.
The lady behind the chocolate counter talks about what a lucky lady this box of chocolates is for. Patrick coughs, forces a smile and says, “They’re for my boyfriend.”
The lady with the name tag that reads ‘Karen’ freezes with a brittle smile and then starts babbling about her second cousin’s gay son. Patrick wishes David were here to be snarky and roll his eyes and talk about people who were complete morons. That would have been interrupted by David sniffing the store and angling for free samples. He comforts himself with the fact that he has just told a random stranger that he has a boyfriend. Not that those are the people that need telling.
He pays, collects the neatly wrapped package and works hard not to race to the motel. Patrick parks in a spot that can’t be seen from David’s window and heads into the main office, hugging the building the whole way. He’s incredibly grateful when he walks in and just Stevie behind the desk.
She puts her book down and sighs as he closes the door behind him. “Oh thank God, you’re here to see David. I told him he’s as much to blame for all this as you are.”
Patrick frowns at Stevie. This was news. “No. David asked to see the texts from Rachel, and I didn’t want him to read them without something, so I bought chocolate.” He places the box on the counter and slides it toward her. “Would you give it to him?”
“Patrick, you can walk down there and give it to him yourself. I mean, you’re coming with what looks like really nice chocolate.”
“He said he wasn’t ready, the last time I tried. I don’t...” Patrick doesn’t like this feeling, like he’s slipped and can’t regain his footing. He knows what he wants and he goes for it. Patrick wants to go and demand that they have this out. But all he sees is the bleak look on David’s face as he asked for space. He doesn’t want to go in there and face actually losing the whole relationship.
Instead, he says out loud. “It’s before he likes to be seen.”
Stevie rolls her eyes, and Patrick can’t tell if it’s for him or David.
“This is stupid,” Stevie says “The two of you should be back to you right now.”
“That’s really not up to me,” Patrick tells her. “David gets to make that choice.”
“Fine.” She snatched the box off the counter and shook it in his direction. Patrick couldn’t help but wince. “I will bring this to him and I am going to talk to him.”
“Thanks, Stevie.”
Patrick lets himself out the door and heads to his car, but can’t help looking back at David’s room. Patrick gets in his car and drives away from the motel for the second time this week, alone
The sixth thing he sends is context.
He hadn’t sent it with the original share of his text history with Rachel since the breakup. At the time it hadn’t seemed like it was necessary.
If Patrick was really honest, he wanted David to have to come to him with questions and to provide answers and to actually talk. But beside from a brief text that just said ‘thanks’ it’s been radio silence all day.
So after the course of several hours, three beers and a glass of whiskey, Patrick begins sending messages.
Patrick: I just want you to know I am here to talk whenever you want.
Patrick: I didn’t want to scare you with my past.
Patrick: I knew I couldn’t marry Rachel when we actually started talking real details. I packed up and moved out the next day.
Patrick: Everyone always said how I was the luckiest guy. But I wasn’t. Not until you.
Patrick: I don’t want to go back to that David. I don’t want to go back to a life without you.
Patrick: David please.
Patrick: Just let me know what you need me to do. I will do it.
Patrick: simplythebest.mp3
The seventh thing he sends is jewelry.
When Patrick wakes up the next morning and sees the long list of texts he sent the night before and is filled with horror and shame. He pulls himself from the bed, a slight headache is forming behind his eyes. He blames the second glass of whiskey he had after the beers and several texts.
They were all read but remain unanswered.
The silence speaks to him in volumes.
He should not have been drinking and then texting last night. Patrick knows he would give just about anything to have another day with David, but the texts come across as pathetic in the pale, morning light.
Patrick forces himself to put the phone down and away. The closet in the corner is staring back at him. Tucked up on the top shelf, behind the hiking gear he knew David wouldn’t touch, sat a long thin box. It had been there for quite awhile.
Patrick pads over to the closet, glad Ray hasn’t busted in on him today. He moves the hiking box just enough and pulls down the thin white box.
Opening it, he’s greeted with the sight of the bracelet he had found for David. It’s a very sturdy, high grade, stainless steel bracelet, made up of many links. An artist they had looked at for the store had made them but David had termed them too pricy for the store.
There had been longing in his eyes though.
Patrick had bought it and saved it. It was supposed to be his big sixth month anniversary gift. He wants David to have it. To see it and remember the vendor and see that Patrick had seen how much David had wanted it. Patrick wanted to be there to soak up David’s reaction, but that doesn’t seem possible now.
So, doing what feels like the only thing he can do, Patrick pads over to grab paper from his little desk in the corner. He writes a quick note and ties it to the box with a ribbon.
It feels like it might be enough. He hopes.
There is no response to the bracelet.
Patrick is left with two days of radio silence and the constant feeling that he is still falling off the cliff.
Patrick gets into the store early on day 7, wanting to do something tangible rather than just sit around his room at Ray’s and continue to review his mistakes like he spent last night doing.
Patrick decided before he came in that he’s done trying to force his feelings onto David. Looking through the texts, sorting through the gifts he’s sent, and weighing them against David’s lack of response, Patrick thinks he might have made several more mistakes in trying to fix the first one.
They stack up next to Rachel’s texts to himself: someone desperately trying to hold on to another person who is already gone. He had spent most of last night comparing the two.
Patrick does not like the way this particular shoe fits. It makes him feel like he not only owes an apology to David for not really respecting his rules for space, but maybe one to Rachel for not being more understanding of her feelings. He is not going to remain this person, though, the one desperately grasping to hold on.
Patrick had seen it, originally, as gestures, olive branches really, trying to get his stubborn, feral cat boyfriend to come back out and get pet. After a week with little progress, and apparently Stevie thinking they should be together and saying so, it appears Patrick has instead scared off the feral cat with too much attention like an over-eager toddler, chasing a cat to pull its tail.
Patrick is now also unsure of the monthly gift thing. It looks silly and childish and like something you do for your high school sweetheart. That he’d only had a long-term relationship with his high school sweetheart and his frame of reference for starting a relationship and this relationship with David was so much better. He had just wanted to let David know how appreciated he was.
Maybe, Patrick thinks, he should have listened to David and not tempted fate. Or at least not tempted David’s sense of fate.
What Patrick will not do, is lose the store and his connection to David. He has come to love the store as much as he loves David, not that Patrick could tell him that now. They will focus on the store and be business partners. Rose Apothecary will be the best damn general store they can make it, which is all that Patrick has wanted to do since he was greeted with several rambling voicemails about the vision for this space.
Patrick will take all of his love for David and pour it into the business and somehow it will be enough. He is decided.
Then, while Patrick is stacking the shelves, David sweeps softly into the store, looking devastatingly handsome in a- yes-black leather sweater, like Patrick has been waiting for him do do all week.
The sight of David is both a relief and a punch to the gut. Patrick just stares for a moment and wonders how he is going to get through today, and the rest of his life, without David fully by his side.