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The first time Chuuya met Fyodor was in a bar. Chuuya was sitting there peacefully while drinking from a glass of wine. He looked lonely, but his aura clearly sent the message not to mess with him. His face was flushed while staring blankly at the wine glass in front of him. He looked very beautiful, but in a distant kind of way.
"Hello."
Chuuya looked up from the wine glass and looked at the person that’d greeted him. The man had a handsome face, black hair and violet eyes. His lips turned up slightly as he took a seat next to Chuuya.
"You look like you need a companion."
Chuuya raised his eyebrows. He didn’t know who this stranger was, and yet there was an aura around him that impressed the man. It was as if he knew everything, which reminded Chuuya of a certain someone.
"So what? This bar isn’t yours, it’s up to me to decide what I want to look like.” It might have sounded harsh, but Chuuya couldn’t find himself to care. There was something irritating but also comforting about the man beside him.
The purple-eyed man wasn’t surprised to hear the sudden outburst from Chuuya. He looked a little bit drunk after all. Instead he kept his smile and ordered some vodka from the bartender.
"No, I'm just lonely, and am looking for someone to talk with. Will you believe me if I say I just happened to come to this bar and see you here?"
Chuuya stared at the strange man, he didn’t even try to hide it. The stranger looked very handsome. “His hat is funny though” his mind supplied.
Maybe it was the wine talking, but he wouldn’t mind spending the night with this guy.
"Nakahara Chuuya."
"It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chuuya. I am Fyodor."
"Immediately using my first name huh?" Chuuya thought. But he didn’t care, many people called him that anyway.
"Let's cut to the chase, I know you have heard the rumors."
Fyodor put his glass on the table and looked at Chuuya while keeping his smirk.
“I was wondering about how to ask you, actually. There are rumors that every Friday evening a red-haired man will come to this bar, ordering wine, and will accept any invitation to fuck as long as the man is handsome.”
Chuuya took a sip from his glass. “I have rules. Firstly, the lights must be off. Secondly, you can’t ask questions about whatever name I call out. Thirdly, you need to pay for my drinks tonight. Are you okay with that?”
“Yes. I am also quite sure I can make you forget whatever name you would think of except mine.”
Chuuya scoffed. He thought the man beside him was too arrogant. If it was that easy then he would have already forgotten that bandaged bastard long ago.
Chuuya took another gulp of the wine, emptying his glass completely. His face became red, but at least he still remained conscious.
“We will go after you finish your drink.”
Fyodor paid for their drinks in cash, something that impressed Chuuya because he knew his drinks were expensive. Then, they went to the nearest five star hotel.
Their intercourse was done in a luxurious hotel room, and just like the rules had stated, it was done with the lights turned off.
It wasn’t too rough, but it was pretty mind-blowing. Fyodor would take care of all of Chuuya’s needs and wouldn’t stop until Chuuya became a whimpering mess.
Every caress Fyodor did to his body, exploring him in the darkness, made him feel hot.
Chuuya liked it. It felt nice to be taken care of and he let Fyodor do whatever he wanted.
But when he closed his eyes, the image of a certain person came up and his lips would say his name. The darkness helped him imagine a certain ex-partner. Chuuya imagined the person holding him was Dazai, as if Dazai had never left.
Fyodor only stayed silent and continued his work on Chuuya’s body. He had accepted the rule after all; he didn’t have any right to complain.
After both had reached their climax for the third time, they stopped. Fyodor did some after-care though. He massaged Chuuya’s tired body and Chuuya had to admit he hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages.
The next morning Fyodor would wake up in an empty bed with the hotel room already paid for.
“Hello.”
“You’re here again.” Chuuya sighed.
Chuuya thought the one-night stand would only happen, well, one time. But every week Fyodor would come in again and Chuuya would repeat the same question. Fyodor would say yes and they would go to the same hotel and repeat their activity.
Chuuya would say Dazai’s name again during their intercourse and Fyodor would stay silent about it.
In exchange for fulfilling Chuuya’s rules, Fyodor could play with Chuuya’s body however he wanted. Be it some kind of play or kinks, Chuuya would allow them. They had safe words but Chuuya never used them. He was content with whatever Fyodor did.
Chuuya figured Fyodor also had a past he was trying to forget, even if it was just for a little while.
This friends with benefits situation might have been what they both needed. Slightly broken people together, with a slightly broken moral, trying to heal each other’s wounds. It was a bad metaphor, but at least they had consent, and at this moment Chuuya couldn’t find himself to care.
After some more times they didn’t just meet to have sex; they met to talk with each other. They still had sex, but not as often.
They talked about music, poems and books, and gradually found out they had a lot in common. The two of them would go to museums together, or leave for another country using private jets, just to see other country’s landmarks. They’d even go to villa’s located in the middle of the mountains or near the beach, just to relax.
It was almost romantic, what was shared between them. Some people noticed the change in Chuuya’s behavior. He seemed happier. Chuuya would shrug it off and say nothing had happened. Some people in the Port Mafia cried at the thought Chuuya had finally found a lover, but Chuuya never gave clarification about anything.
Chuuya himself thought he could finally move on. Maybe he could learn how to love Fyodor. It would be nice to love and be loved in return. Fyodor would drop hints that he wanted a higher-level kind of relationship but Chuuya would pretend not to notice the obvious courtship.
When he closed his eyes, the first person to pop into his head wasn’t Fyodor. It was still the stupid partner that had left him.
They still had sex with the light turned off.
“Maybe someday.” Chuuya thought. Though he couldn’t quite tell when “someday” would be.
Weeks became months, and slowly one year had passed. They still stuck to their agreement, but it all changed at one eventful dinner.
“Chuuya, would you like to make our relationship official?”
Chuuya was shocked hearing that. He didn’t think Fyodor would actually ask him. His eyes widened while looking at Fyodor, but the person asking the question just smiled as if he was simply asking about the weather.
Chuuya was struggling to find the right words to say. He wanted to say yes. He thought it wouldn’t be fair towards Fyodor because he still hadn’t learnt how to love him. But he could learn as time passed, right? The man in front of him was so sweet and so caring it made Chuuya’s heart flutter.
Fyodor just waited patiently until Chuuya was ready to answer.
“No.”
Chuuya was shocked by his own answer. He was confused. He knew he enjoyed his time with Fyodor. The man was handsome, rich, kind, and most importantly great in bed. So why couldn’t he bring himself to say yes?
“It wasn’t enough to forget him.” the words echoed in his head. Chuuya was starting to hate his own mind, but it was right. He wasn’t ready.
“I understand, I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Let’s continue to eat.”
Fyodor picked up his fork and started to continue his dinner. He acted so normal, as if he hadn’t just been rejected by the man he’d been seeing for the past year. Chuuya had lost his appetite, but for the sake of politeness he took a piece of meat and placed it inside his mouth anyway.
The dinner went by peacefully. Chuuya was glad Fyodor wasn’t the type of person who planned a grand confession by, for example, renting a whole band just to sing him a love song while the staff would come to dance. It would be awkward as hell and Chuuya would like to avoid it, thank you very much.
The atmosphere had become colder, but Fyodor didn’t have that disappointed look on him. They still had conversations like usual, and there was still laughter shared between them.
It was a little weird. Chuuya had expected the raven-haired man to be angry at least, but he wasn’t. Fyodor’s hand was not shaking, nor was there any change in his tone of voice.
Chuuya told himself that he was just overthinking things. And yet after that particular dinner, Fyodor didn’t come to him as frequently as before. After a whole week without any news, Chuuya stopped expecting him to come.
“It’s the same, I was left alone again.” Chuuya thought.
“But this time you could have prevented it from happening. You just chose not to.” his mind provided.
Chuuya chose to ignore it.
There were no goodbyes shared between them, but there were also no hard feelings. When they met again as enemies they fought fairly for each group they represented. It didn’t stop the occasional remarks though.
“I see you still wear that coat I gave you, Fyodor.”
“Ah, I also noticed you still wear the gloves I gave to you.”
There were confused stares shared between people around them, probably wondering how they knew each other, or when that had happened.
Chuuya and Fyodor noticed the confused stares, but how could they explain the way they had met each other was through casual sex? Not that they were ashamed of it, but they at least had enough common sense not to talk about it in front of other people.
Fyodor looked at the brunette currently beside Chuuya, and his lips turned up into his signature smirk again. He knew he was looking at the man that Chuuya chose over him.
Dazai Osamu. The demon prodigy.
Not that Fyodor would give up. Oh no. He never gave up. He left because he needed to gain information, and gather more people for his plan. If Chuuya had said yes, he would have brought Chuuya with him.
Fyodor would fight for Chuuya’s heart. He had fallen in love a long time ago, considering the strong manner in which Chuuya carried himself.
Fyodor knew something was hurting Chuuya, it was pretty obvious as if it was written on his face, still he tried to fight it. For Fyodor that was very entrancing.
It would be hard, especially after witnessing how Chuuya would instantly turn his attention to Dazai whenever the taller man talked, even if there were enemies in front of them. Especially with how Chuuya’s body would always lean toward Dazai. Especially with how Chuuya would have that fond look every time he looked at Dazai.
It would be hard, but Fyodor was not an easily discouraged person. He would win Chuuya over eventually. He would try with whatever methods were necessary.
He would continue, even if it would make his dear Chuuya cry.