Chapter Text
The sound of rain echoed through the dark bedroom as Ciel yawned at the thought of getting out of bed. Really, when had he started taking a liking to lying down in the afternoons and sleeping until past dinner? Baldo had even stopped making Ciel his evening meal after two weeks of this new habit had continued. Ciel didn’t mind, or blame him. It was common sense (that his servants managed to use for once) and Ciel had no intention of eating. He hadn’t possessed a proper appetite longer than he could remember. He mostly nibbled here and there. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time the manor had hosted a proper dinner party. What did a five course meal even look like? He didn’t really care anymore. Elizabeth would take care of all of that once they were married.
He groaned. That’s right. His Aunt Francis would be visiting tomorrow morning to discuss just that very thing. How he was nineteen now and it was “far past time to be tying the knot” with his cousin Elizabeth. Ciel had to admit he’d been putting off proposing for months now, since before he turned eighteen, and he really had no good reason for it beyond the fact that he was just scared.
Scared of what? Was it commitment? It shouldn’t be. Ciel was someone who kept his promises without fail. Was he afraid of the change? Of having someone take care of the house and make new plans for their life? No…
He supposed if he was being honest with himself he was afraid that he wouldn’t make Elizabeth happy. She assured him that this was far from the case, but Ciel wasn’t convinced. He had nothing to offer her. Hell, he could barely kiss her without feeling guilty inside. But why did he feel guilty? Why ?
Ciel groaned again as he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Dammit, he really wished someone would read to him, or simply give his shoulders a rub. The doctor had been warning him of the tension he was carrying in his shoulders and back, due to stress most likely.
He sighed. If only Sebastian were here.