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Shinji
It’s rare to catch a glimpse of a sleeping Kaworu. Strangely, he’s usually late to bed despite his very early work shifts. I have no idea how he does this and still functions as such an incredible human being. However, Sundays leave him more vulnerable. They grant him the opportunity to sleep as much as his heart desires, and sleep he does.
As I blink my own sleep from my eyes, I stare at the heavenly soul laying just inches from me. Pale locks of hair lay disheveled on his head. His light lashes rest gently against his cheeks as his eyelids twitch in the slightest, most likely from a dream. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, but his lips are pursed in a pleased smile. It makes me wonder what he’s dreaming about. I wouldn’t dare wake him, though. He deserves this peace just as much as I deserve to witness him having it.
It’s strange to think that, up until 8 months ago, I’d never imagined I’d end up with anyone at all. I never imagined that my self-deprecating thoughts would loosen, that I could love and be loved by someone. Everything changed when Kaworu entered my life, albeit by some grocery store shrink. Now I never wanted to imagine a life without him by my side. Since moving in with him, I haven’t had to.
Careful not to wake him, I quietly scooch myself off the bed and head in the second bedroom to check on the critters. When I peak in, Tabris is lounging sleepily in a hammock while my girls are cleaning their ears. I open the blinds for them to get some sunlight. Tabris doesn’t look too pleased about it and goes back to sleep instead. Hazel and Toffee blink at me with their big brown eyes as I give them morning pats along with their breakfast.
After, I tend to my own needs and make some coffee. Kaworu’s gotten to me in that respect. How can someone not drink the stuff their barista boyfriend makes for them? It’s become a habit for me too, now, as I make a pot for us. I’m grabbing a mug and stirring in creamer when I feel warm breath on my neck and a lump of hair on my shoulder.
“G’morning.”
His morning voice is so nice and raspy. Cute.
He then circles his languid limbs around my waist and clings to me like I could fly away at any second.
“Hi,” I giggle as his bedhead tickles against my ears.
“Smells good.”
“Did it wake you?”
“Perhaps. No matter,” he replies and grabs his own mug.
“I can get it for you, go sit,” I offer.
He listens and situates himself on the couch, head lolling against the cushions. When I bring him his coffee—black, mind you—I notice he’s having difficulty keeping his eyes open.
“You can go back to sleep, y’know! You look tired.”
“Mmm ‘s okay. I want to spend time with you,” he grins at me as he takes his coffee in hand.
I sit next to him and sip at my own.
“You sure?”
A second later he’s taken my chin with his gentle fingertips and planted a kiss right on my warm lips. It’s a peck at most, but it still makes my heart pound.
“I’m sure, love. Besides, the caffeine will help.”
I steal a little kiss on his palm before turning back to my drink.
“Did you have anything in mind?”
Kaworu drinks his coffee and ponders for a moment, mind deep in thought.
“Hm, I’d definitely like to play piano with you at some point. Maybe stay in and watch some movies.”
It was the middle of winter now, which meant snow. Lots of it. Even the city could get hit hard. Today was no exception. When I looked out the window, the white stuff was already coming down quite heavily. Staying in the apartment for the day sounded perfect.
“That sounds good. Cozy,” I agree and snuggle closer for warmth.
Kaworu
A movie and some order-in Chinese food later, we’ve curled up in the blankets and each other’s presence. It’s nothing short of absolute bliss. I can’t believe my apartment used to be so empty and I hardly even noticed.
“What shall we watch next? I’m ready for more,” I ask.
“Hmm, could we actually duet for a bit?”
“Oh, of course!”
He always keeps me on my toes. Always guessing, wondering what he’ll think next. He’s still my metronome, constantly changing the beat with each line. I imagine I do the same for him. We untangle ourselves enough to stand up and walk over to the piano. We sit down together, our thighs touching in the slightest. It’s always such fun to play this way together. Even though Shinji has much to learn, he’s open to the experience and takes my guidance to heart. Now, whenever I play by myself, it tends to feel rather melancholy.
I turn through a few pages of my music book in front of us before stopping on one in particular. It’s the one we played together when we first started seeing each other, though it was with a violin and cello back then.
“How about this one, hm?”
“I was just thinking of this one. Perfect,” he excitedly responds.
We get ourselves comfortable and begin just moments afterwards. The apartment fills with the sound of our melody. I stop once or twice to give Shinji some pointers along the way, but for the most part, he has improved considerably. That, or he’s memorized this piece by heart. I’m proud either way. As we continue to play, I feel him gently rest his head on my shoulder. Affection floods my chest, causing me to rest my head on top of his. Our fingers run into each other and dance along the keys. They chase each other, tease each other, until they finally make contact. I hook my pinky around his to keep his hand in place. I feel his cheek bunch into a smile against me.
“Look at us, no better than middle school lovebirds,” I kid.
“I never got to be a middle school lovebird. I have to make up for it now,” Shinji replies as he laces his fingers with mine.
“You never had a crush on anyone? Never held hands?”
“You should know better than anyone how nervous I can be. Besides, I don’t get feelings easily. You should feel lucky,” he answers cutely.
“Oh, I do. Extremely.”
He lifts his head and looks at me with mischief in his eyes. Those deep blue eyes will always be my downfall. In a swift movement, he gets up from his seat to straddle my lap, his arms laying across my shoulders, hands crossed behind my head.
“Good. You should keep playing,” he suggests, though it’s more of a command.
I obey and play to the best of my ability whilst having my boyfriend in my lap. Shinji scoots forward in the slightest, rubbing against my groin. I swallow hard and keep my concentration on the piano. I don’t know where this sudden confidence has come from, but I’m not complaining. He tends to get this persona going when he wishes to instigate intimacy.
“I’m lucky too. I get you all to myself,” he whispers against my ear, making me shudder.
“Yes, you certainly do,” I play along, my hands still busy.
His lips find their way to my neck and trail down to my throat, where he gives an experimental nip. In the months since moving in together, he has figured out my weak spot. If I were standing, my knees would’ve turned to jelly. I inhale deeply.
“Are you trying to say something, Shinji?”
He gives no reply. Instead, he proceeds to kiss the same spot before sucking on it vigorously, determined to leave a mark. I miss a note.
“Keep playing~”
Again, I obey, but it’s getting harder to do so. He moves up and nibbles along my jawline while he lets his hands wander up the back of my shirt. His fingers are cold against the warmth of my back. However, they, too, begin to warm up. It’s as if his nails are digging into me, pinning me to the spot. My own hands keep making music.
“This is quite unfair, Shinji.”
“Not from where I’m sitting,” he teases.
Soon he’s grinding his hips down into mine and moaning softly against my shoulder. A wave of dull pleasure washes through me but I manage to keep my composure. I want to see if I can make him come undone faster than he with me.
“You must be in the lap of luxury then. Tell me, how does it feel?”
“G-Good,” he sighs, rolling his hips once more.
I groan and buck up against him. He mewls in want, his hand now clutching at the skin of my spine. I change the melody to something slower, more seductive. Our sighs add to the mix.
“I’m glad. I want nothing more than your pleasure.”
He whines at that.
“Hm?”
“N-Nothing,” he grumbles and looks away, face tomato red.
I take his chin gently so that he may look at me, stopping my song.
“Do you enjoy praise in this way? I know I do.”
“Y-Yes. Yes,” he answers, eyes transfixed on mine.
“Well, you’re doing wonderfully Shinji. Can you keep showing me your love?”
“Yeah, yes, I can,” he groans and begins to grind again.
“So good, Shinji,” I whisper to him and grind back against his movements.
My hands wander to his ass to pull him closer to me. He’s getting wickedly hard. Is it just from my voice?
“You’re so beautiful and confident, Shinji. You feel so good~”
“Ah, god, Kaworu,” his voice quivers around my name.
His head falls onto my shoulder again, huffs of breath ghosting hotly over my neck. His fingers still clutch onto my back. They give him leverage to rock himself into roll upon roll of friction. My hands dare to go under his underwear to grip his ass more firmly. I grind harder, my dick achingly close to his.
“You’re so good at this Shinji. I want to feel you. Your body is perfection,” I moan against his ear, causing his entire body to arch as he lets out a loud groan.
When he lifts his head, his eyes now expose a type of hunger I’ve only seen a few times before. He smashes our lips together desperately, one hand now trailing up to tug on my hair. His lips are so warm, soft, and sweet, and mine. I kiss him back with equal vigor, teasing him with a drawn-out nip on his bottom lip. Quickly, I swoop in and work kisses down his neck before tearing his shirt over his head. I return to my handiwork, leaving kisses and bites down to his chest. He cries in bliss when my tongue reaches one of his nipples.
“Ha-ah, oh my god, don’t stop--”
“I don’t plan on it. How could I, with someone such as you?”
I do not wait for another reply before I’m playing with said nipple, licking and nibbling while groping the other with my hand. I feel a wetness at my crotch and realize we’re both already leaking pre-cum. We really are good at getting each other worked up. I stand up and place him onto the keys, eliciting a long, flat note from the piano. I don’t usually tamper with my instruments, but Shinji is one instrument begging to be tampered with, so he comes first. He instantly wraps his legs around me as I lean over him to bite and kiss down his stomach.
“Mm, Kaworu, w-wait—”
“Hm? Are you okay, my love?”
“I think so. I’m just getting kinda scared like I do sometimes,” he ends the sentence with a short, slightly melancholy laugh.
“Do you wish to stop?”
“N-No, I just need a minute,” he caresses my cheek.
So, I stand up straight again and give him a moment to get his bearings. Even with all this confidence and comfort, he still gets insecure, still gets nervous. I always give him his time, even if it means my needs are screaming to be taken care of.
“Take all the time you need. I’m here if you want me.”
Shinji sucks in a deep breath and closes his eyes, his hand still on my cheek. He looks so tranquil, yet thoughtful. Still, though, his dick sits hard against me.
“I just still get overwhelmed, y’know? I worry about going too fast,” he confesses.
“You are just fine. We’re fine,” I reassure him.
He opens his eyes and tugs my face close to his once again.
“We’re more than fine. We’re perfect, right?”
“Oh, you are perfect, indeed.”
That seems to light his fire again. He catches my bottom lip between his teeth and moans. We get back to business, the piano still playing out of tune with our actions. When he reaches his hand down to my groin and flatly rubs his hand against my clothed dick, I see stars.
“Not nervous anymore?”
“Mm-mm,” he confirms, rubbing me harder.
My jaw becomes slack as he continues and my hips snap forward in a desperate plea.
“So good, Shinji, ah,” I moan, still making sure to praise him.
However, he soon relinquishes his hold on me entirely, pushing me back and hopping off the piano. I’m beyond confused. He runs to the bedroom and comes back not a moment later with lube and condoms. His face has returned to that tomato red as he sets them down on the piano seat.
“Here? On this? So kinky, Shinji,” I tease, though I really am enjoying this.
“Sh-Shut up,” he pokes back.
I hoist him up and slip off his pants slowly. I notice that there’s no fresh cuts on his legs. He’d been doing much better as of late. I’m so relieved. I remove my own pants, now leaving us in our underwear. Shinji wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me over him again so that we can kiss again. These kisses feel more patient, more tender. I can’t get enough. He always leaves me breathless. His hands move to cup my face instead and I feel myself melting.
Still, I really want him in a different way right now. I reach down and stroke myself to get myself ready. He removes one of the hands on my face to pull down his own underwear, softly panting at the freedom.
“I want you so badly, Shinji—my Shinji.”
“My Kaworu, I want you, too,” he trails off and lets his hands wander to the small of my back.
“Ready?”
He nods and I coat my fingers in lube. I glance at him again to make sure he’s okay before beginning to prep him. It always hurts him a little at first, but over time, it has become easier. I’ve offered to be on the receiving end, but he seems to really enjoy this role. I’m happy with anything if it’s with him.
“Hnn, yesss,” he sighs, eyes closed once again.
“You’re so good to me, Shinji. You sound so good,” I continue to spur him on as I work a second finger inside him.
He bites at his bottom lip in a soft exhale of “fuck” and his hands move again, this time to hold onto my shoulders. He’s too good at this. Maybe we both are.
“Do you want me, Shinji? Do you want me inside?”
He nods quickly, but somehow lazily, in response.
I remove my fingers to wrap a condom and lube around myself. The simple touch nearly makes me cum, but I stifle it. My boyfriend has been waiting ever so patiently. I tease at his entrance, rubbing my cock over and around it.
“Kaworuuu c’mon--!”
Without a second thought, I guide myself inside, relishing at the feeling of being one with my beloved. Shinji hisses in a mix of pain and pleasure as I do so.
“G-Go slow, okay?”
It’s a hard order to follow, but I obey it nonetheless. I slowly roll my hips to create a steady, gentle thrusting that may give him time to adjust. My body is aching to slam into him like there’s no tomorrow, but I know that patience will always yield its rewards. The piano keys press down into a mix of tones. After a few moments, his body becomes less rigid, more languid. He’s breathing harder, faster, and letting his hips rise to meet mine.
I indulge myself in some deeper, faster thrusts, eliciting a small pleasurable cry from him. I groan deeply in response and find myself clutching onto his waist. The sound of our bodies rivals the noise of the piano beneath us. I’m so lost in the feeling that I don’t realize I’ve closed my eyes until I’ve opened them again. Shinji is beneath me, blue eyes open and glazed over with want, pupils blown wide. His face is heating up, pink tinging his cheeks, neck, and ears. His ears are so adorable, especially when he’s blushing. I snatch one up between my teeth and feel his entire body shudder.
“You’re so cute like this,” I admit between gasps.
He gives me a sloppy kiss as a reply. We hold each other impossibly close as I hit deeper and deeper within him, my thighs shaking from the effort. It’s all so good, so warm. In an instant, he squeezes his legs even more tightly around me.
“Ah, there, Kaworu, there--!”
I notice one of his hands begin to venture down himself, so I let go of his waist to stop said hand. I grab both of his and pin them to the top of the piano, stilling him in place. I want him to cum from just this—without touching his dick. I give him one, hard thrust into the spot that drives him crazy. He practically screams. I give him one more teasing push before doing it over and over again, repeatedly hitting his sweet spot. I feel a tingling in my stomach and legs and know that my orgasm is imminent.
“Y-You’re so amazing Shinji. Won’t you cum with me?”
“Please, please—”
I move ever faster, my leaking pre-cum making it even easier to fuck him. I could beg for release right now. Who ever thought I’d be so weak for someone such as Shinji?
“Ha—oh—shit—,” I chant on repeat.
“C-Cum in me, Kaworu, please,” he bites his lip at me.
I’m spilling before he’s even finished his request. I keep moving as I ride out my orgasm, a bomb of bliss bleeding through my body. An endless supply of moans fall from me, a supply so endless that it is only rivaled by Shinji’s as he cums, too. His head is hung back, eyes squeezed shut, mouth agape, and he’s sighing like the unholiest angel I’ve ever seen. His stomach is coated in white. When I’ve come back to my senses, I carry him to the couch and let him lay on top of me, his head resting on my chest. He’s still catching his breath as I rub his back.
“So, I guess we’ve discovered something else we like, hm?”
He buries his face in my skin when he hears this. I can’t see his cheeks, but his ears are blazing red.
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“Why? There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I dunno. Just feel like a pervert or something,” he says, his voice muffled against me.
“We’re both perverts then,” I laugh.
He lifts his head, hair disheveled and lips kiss-swollen.
“Or… we’re just in love and know what makes us feel good? I shouldn’t be ashamed?”
He’s been getting so much better at thinking and speaking positively about himself and others.
“Exactly. Yes,” I kiss his forehead.
He lays his head to the side after that and lets out a soft, content sigh.
“Y’know what sounds good?”
“Hm?”
“Some more Chinese food,” he smiles.
So we get up, shower, get dressed, and allow ourselves a second serving of Chinese food before getting back to our movie binge. We share a blanket, his hand holding mine under it and his head leaning on my shoulder.
Heaven.
Fin