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From the moment they arrive in Earlwood, San is literally buzzing with excitement. They don’t really know why they’re here and what’s going on, but with the cameras everywhere and no managers in sight, it can’t be anything bad. No matter what it is, he’s going to make the most of it.
The house is absolutely beautiful. And looks like one that San would love to own one day. Spacious, luxurious, big back porch; he can see himself having barbecue parties with his members while his cat lies on his seat, basking in the sun.
He notices the bowl of apples on the kitchen counter and grabs one, washing it quickly and hops into the living room area where Hongjoong holds a box triumphantly. He has no idea what it’s for but plops down on the armrest of an armchair that is in the room, right next to Seonghwa. His hip is touching Seonghwa’s shoulder and like the adult man San is, he squeals internally, at this simple touch.
They go through the whole ordeal of their challenges, some of them funny, some actually challenging, some scary, especially Seonghwa’s, who completely tenses next to San. He rubs his hyung’s back comfortingly and smiles when Seonghwa looks at him.
It’s been weeks, months even, since the thing between them happened. And to be completely honest, San hasn’t stopped thinking about it ever since that night. Or the morning, really. After Wooyoung successfully terrified the living hell out of their oldest member with his stupid meowing - that actually kept going for the next whole week, until Yeosang started threatening him to send his nudes to the group chat - Seonghwa became distant. He and San occasionally exchange the look but nothing else came up from that. The main vocalist’s right hand is slowly becoming not enough, yet again, and Yunho even told him that if he hears San mumbling in his sleep about Seonghwa with a furry butt plug one more time, he’s kicking him out of the room.
And now, they’re here. In Earlwood, Australia, in this beautiful house, and they’re even rooming together, apparently. San’s blood freezes in his veins when Wooyoung tells him that he’s roommates with their tiny leader (as if he’s any taller) and that they have to share a bed.
“Are all the rooms like that? Like, just one bed?” The older one of the two asks and Wooyoung shrugs. “I think so, yeah.” Then his mouth stretches into a grin, an evil one. “You’re gonna share a bed with Seonghwa hyung, huh? Don’t make him limp!”
“Shut up and go get your kimchi,” San rolls his eyes but his ears turn red. They’re not going to do anything, for sure. Hell, Seonghwa doesn’t even look like he wants to. Sure, he asked San to take care of him, he asked if there would be a next time, but he’s been distant and San is just dumb, crushing hard and horny.
He just wants to see his hyung so vulnerable again, depending on him and him only, he wants Seonghwa to call him sir and -
Usually, San isn’t dominant, he’s never felt the need to be. That is, until he found Seonghwa dressed as cat... or undressed and looking like a cat. His hyung’s submissiveness brought up something from deep within him. The need to control him when he wanted to be controlled, the urge to take over and make him submit. And Seonghwa did submit indeed. He wanted San to show him who was in control, he made him lose his mind, threw his caution out out of the window, he made him make Seonghwa his own and made San his in the process.
Sure, San has always had a soft spot for the eldest. But San has a soft spot for everyone, all of his members, so he’s not sure if that really counts. But he’s always found Seonghwa incredibly beautiful, and that night - he looked so pretty, prettier than anyone San has ever seen before. It’s pretty safe to say he’s had a crush on the older man for quite some time. And now, it’s even more serious. It’s even worse. He has feelings and doesn’t know how to properly deal with it.
Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Wooyoung leave to do first two challenges and the rest decides to join Jongho and go to the gym to be his moral support. Yeosang and Seonghwa stick together, both too shy to be as outgoing as San and their youngest. San tries to ignore the ugly feelings bubbling up in his stomach. Jongho asks three random guys if they’re willing to arm wrestle with him and San not so subtly gawks at their muscles.
Surprisingly (even though it wasn’t really that surprising, everyone knows that their maknae could snap all of their necks with his pinkie) the first guy loses to Jongho and San shouts cheerfully and looks at the other two members, smiling widely. Seonghwa turns his head and grins at San. His heart breaks into million pieces. He wants to walk over there and kiss him, right in front of all of their friends, the filming crew, the staff and their managers that are not even there. He knows he can’t but that doesn’t make it any easier for him. Horrified, he realizes that what he’s feeling for Seonghwa is not just a crush anymore.
He might be -
There’s a chance that he’s -
He’s aware of the possibility of him being -
He’s in love with Seonghwa. And it’s scary and forbidden by the whole fucking industry, but he doesn’t care. Seonghwa probably doesn’t even like him back. So there’s nothing to really worry about, is there?
To get his mind off of his feelings for the older man, he compliments one of the Australian guys on his muscles and like the tourist he is, he takes a selfie - with his muscle!! He thanks him and looks back at his members, grinning. While Yeosang looks embarrassed and Jongho is still a little sad that he didn’t win over the last guy, Seonghwa doesn’t even look at him, not even on the way back. San has no idea what he did wrong and because Seonghwa doesn’t talk to him and no else knows, no one is going to tell him. So when they get back to the house, he volunteers to go with Jongho to the store to do some grocery shopping.
“You should talk to hyung,” the maknae mumbles as they enter the store. San looks at him, confused.
“Which one do you mean?”
“You know damn well who I mean, San hyung. Seonghwa hyung. Ever since you to fooled around, neither of you is the same. And there’s… I hate saying it, but there’s a tension between you two. So just fuck it out or whatever, I don’t want him to be this sad.”
Sad? Since when is Seonghwa sad? It’s not like San is avoiding him, it’s the other way around! And he never said anything, they’re both adults yet they can’t talk stuff out like they should, like adults do. But he promises Jongho to talk to Seonghwa when they get back, so the rest of the shopping trip goes smoothly.
*****
The oldest member turns into the absolutely cutest one when they get back home, food in hands. Both he and Yeosang run down the stairs to welcome them and Yeosang even gives San a hug. The blonde doesn’t miss the glare that Seonghwa sends them.
They prepare food and have dinner, now all eight of them together again. Wooyoung and Yunho talk a lot about their journey to Woooyoung’s mom’s friend house and Mingi and Hongjoong tell them about their own journey through tears of laughter. San feels full, content and happy. He’s with people he loves a lot, doing something he loves. The night couldn’t get any better, right?
Wrong.
When they finally say their goodnight’s and leave to their respectful rooms, Seonghwa asks San to make some of the wake up calls for Atiny with him. San agrees, because it gives him a reason to press himself to the other man’s body without making it too weird. They make few of the wake up calls, cute and scary and then Seonghwa channels his inner hoe and starts making the ‘ sexy’ version so San joins him, but his heart is beating so fast in his chest. After that, Seonghwa turns the camera off and puts it down. They get under the covers and San makes sure that he gives the older man as much room as possible but Seonghwa whines.
“Stop it and come closer, you idiot. You’re gonna fall off.”
Carefully, San rolls over, much closer to him this time. Seonghwa’s body is warm next to his and he’s tempted to spoon him from behind and breathe in the scent that is so exclusively his. But he’s a coward and Seonghwa acts like he doesn’t want San like this anyway.
When he’s in his right mind, he avoids San like the plague. Selfishly enough, San wants their oldest member to need him again, to want him the way he did with cat ears on and pretty collar around his neck.
Seonghwa groans and grabs his wrist, pulling him to his chest. “Cuddle me, you dumbo.”
San can feel the blood thumping in his temples and he starts sweating profusely. But despite all of that, he wraps his arms around him and presses him closer to his body. Seonghwa purrs and nuzzles his face into San’s neck.
“Hyung?”
“Hmm?” his breath tickles on the sensitive skin of San’s neck.
“Hyung, do you like me?” he can’t believe he’s actually doing this, asking him, risking so much. What is he going to do if Seonghwa rejects him? Well, first of all, he’s going to cry, but then it’s just going to be awkward as hell.
“Of course I like you, dummy. I like all of you.”
“Yeah but you didn’t suck their dicks, did you?”
Seonghwa pulls away to look at him, offended. “Excuse me?” Then he laughs. “No of course not. You’re special.” He’s blushing when he says that. San relaxes a little.
“Am I, kitty?” It’s been a while since he said that. Yet it feels natural to call him that, he’s been itching to say that again. Seonghwa blushes even harder and hides his face in San’s neck. But he feels his lips pressed against his skin. His breath hitches but he recovers quickly and presses a kiss on the crown of Seonghwa’s head.
“Can I kiss you, kitten?”
“I was worried you would never ask,” he breathes out and their lips finally meet. Everything feels right again. It’s stupid but it really does, to San. From head to toe, Seonghwa is the embodiment of beauty, in San’s eyes. The way his eyes twinkle when he laughs, his lips, glossy from the lip balm he applied few minutes ago, everything just looks right and perfect. San wishes it wasn’t the truth, but he got attached to his hyung, in ways that he shouldn’t have. There are parts of him that hate himself for that, that wish he was normal and straight and not pining for his hyung, for someone whom he works with, for his best friend. But that’s not the reality, that’s much more bitter. However all of that doesn’t matter in this moment, the important thing is, that Seonghwa is here with him and is kissing him just as desperately. San tugs on his hair and the older man moans into his mouth, his body rocking against San’s. He’s everywhere and San loves it. He bites his lower lip and swipes his tongue over it immediately after, gripping Seonghwa’s waist, grinding his hips against his hyung’s who pants into his mouth, gripping the shirt of his pyjama.
His thumb slides over Seonghwa’s lower lip, wiping the spit off. It should be illegal to look like this, especially at this ungodly hour. But Seonghwa is as beautiful as ever.
San runs his fingers through the soft blonde hair and cups his face with his other hand. There are words on the top of his tongue that he doesn’t dare to say. Words that could ruin everything. But looking at him, being with him, touching him... he can’t ignore it. He got attached. Even more than he’s already been.
With a strong grip on his hair, he pulls him in for a surprisingly slow and tender kiss. One kiss for each word he wants to say, three kisses in total.
“San, please,” he whispers. His moves are frantic at this point. San wants to touch him so bad but holds back, doesn’t want to do anything Seonghwa doesn’t want.
“Go ahead kitten, you can come if you want to.”
Few more seconds of Seonghwa furiously riding San’s thigh and then he stills and exhales shakily, mumbling “ thank you, sir, thank you .” It totally messes San up and he quickly slides his hand down his boxers, quickly jerking himself off. They’re both out of breath and Seonghwa keeps mewling softly. San pulls him up to him and kisses him deeply and hungrily. They should take a shower but San doesn’t want to let go just yet. He wants hold his kitten close for as long as he can before he has to face the harsh reality again; Seonghwa probably sees him only as a convenient fuck,nothing more. Sure, he called him special, but that was because they fucked before. That’s about it.
Few minutes later, they quietly get into the shower only to kiss some more under the spray of water. Seonghwa is warm and pliant and San can’t help but slide down on his knees, kissing the older man’s stomach, biting softly at his hip bones, licking down his happy trail and then moving on to his thighs, gripping Seonghwa’s ass firmly. The older of the two whimpers as his cock twitches and San strokes him to full hardness.
“Tell me, kitten, can you keep quiet?” Seonghwa nods quickly, desperate. “If you can keep quiet, I’ll let you come.” Seonghwa whimpers again and slaps one of his hands over his mouth, the other hand tangled in San’s hair for leverage as the younger man takes the tip into his mouth, licking around the head, sucking gently. Seonghwa is really trying his best to be quiet but quiet moans still escape his lips. San enthusiastically licks up his length before taking it whole into his mouth, the tip hitting the back of his throat. He gags a little and Seonghwa lets out a strangled moan, gripping his hair tighter, his legs shaking. San pulls away immediately.
“Kitty, wasn’t I clear before? You can come only if you’re quiet.”
“I was, I promise, I swear! I was,” he’s frantic, his eyes glassy. It’s so easy to lose himself in Seonghwa’s eyes, especially when they’re teary like this, small droplets caught up on his long lashes. He looks like a masterpiece. One that San can’t appreciate enough.
He kisses the corner of his mouth and runs his fingers through his soft hair, tugging on it slightly.
“Come on, kitty, I know you can do better than that.”
“Please, sir, just let me, come, please.” San lets him. How could he not.
****
Seonghwa is fast asleep next to him, but he decides to go to the living space and sits on the couch, in complete dark. It’s like four in the morning and everyone is obviously still asleep. He closes his eyes and thinks about what just happened few hours ago. He thought he’d sleep better with Seonghwa by his side, especially after they got off. But now, when he’s painfully aware of his feelings, it’s hard to not to think about them. All he wants is to be able to call Seonghwa his. He wants to hold his hand and kiss him whenever, dress him up in pretty lace lingerie when it’s just the two of them. Does he want that much?
Someone turns the light on and San opens his eyes and smiles at Yunho. “Hi.”
“What are you doing here?” the cameras are rolling so he can’t be honest.He could turn them off like he did with the cameras in their room last night but because it’s Yunho’s turn to do his challenge, he can’t really do that. Instead, he comes up with some generic excuse and hops up to help Yunho with preparing the breakfast. Not so long after, Yeosang and Hongjoong wake up to go jogging for Yeosang’s challenge and he smiles brightly at them, he himself is surprised by how good he is at faking a good mood. No one even can tell that he hasn’t slept at all and he’s more than happy because he doesn’t want to lie anymore and he can’t tell the truth with the filming crew around.
Yunho leans down to him as he’s finishing up the meal. “I heard you and hyung in the shower last night, but you don’t look happy about it. Did something happen?”
San looks around and notices few people staring at them. “I’ll tell you later.”
Later turns out to be in few hours, when his legs still shake from the swimming with sharks. Yunho holds him by the waist as they walk up to the car to take them back to the house. “Can you tell me now?”
“I think I’m in love with hyung?”
“You think?” Yunho raises his brows. “San, no offence, but everyone can tell that you’re in love with him. Do you think you’re being subtle? I’ve literally known for ages, even before you two hooked up.” San’s eyes widen and Yunho smiles at him, warmly, in the way that only Yunho can. “And I’m happy for you, you know that? I think that you and Seonghwa would be an amazing couple.”
“He doesn’t like me like that,” San sighs. “It would be too easy, if he did. This isn’t a fanfiction, Yunho. The real world doesn’t really work like that.” Yunho just pulls him in for a hug. It’s comforting and nice and San is grateful that he’s not prying any further.
*****
The door opens and before San can really register what’s going on, there’s a whole Seonghwa wrapped around him. “I made it! I climbed the bridge!” he sounds so excited and San can’t help but get up and spin with Seonghwa in his arms. “Are you proud, sir?”
Oh.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, kitten,” San kisses his cheek, then puts Seonghwa on the ground, walks over to the camera, turns it off and then locks the door. Seonghwa giggles. “Am I getting a reward for being brave?”
“What would you want your reward to be?” San asks, stepping up to the older, his hand resting on his hip. Seonghwa bites his lip. “I want you to fuck me, sir.” San wheezes.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, yes, I am, please?” And who is San to tell him no? He pushes him down on the bed and starts kissing his neck, biting softly, careful not to leave a mark.
“I will fuck you, but only if you’re good and quiet. You don’t want the rest of the boys hear what a good little fucktoy you are, right? Or do you?” Seonghwa shakes his head.
“I’m only your fucktoy, only you can hear.” San is more than content with that answer.
“Good. Then keep your mouth shut, be quiet, and sir will fuck you.” He takes off Seonghwa’s shirt and starts kissing his chest, sucking lightly on his nipples. Seonghwa tries his best to be quiet but San can tell that he’s struggling. So he takes off his pants off too and palms him through his underwear. “Do you have lube?” The older takes a while to answer, biting his lips to hold his moans back. San takes that opportunity to undress him completely.
“In my suitcase, the side pocket,” his hyung breathes out and moves up on the bed to rest his head against the headboard. San gets the small bottle and walks back to the bed and kneels on the edge, tossing the bottle to Seonghwa. “Give me a show, baby.”
And Seonghwa delivers. He gets on all fours, head laid on the comforter, ass in the air, then spreads some lube on his fingers and then slides one in. Too easily. And not so long after, another one. He doesn’t even hiss.
“Did you finger yourself?” He grabs his hair and pulls his head up. “Did you?”
Seonghwa nods, as much as he can with San gripping his hair, and San lets go of him and steps back. “Did I give you a permission?” Seonghwa is quiet. “Speak up, bitch. Did I?”
Usually, he wouldn’t talk to Seonghwa like this, but he knows that he’s into.
“You didn’t, sir.”
“Pull your fingers out,” he growls and gets behind him, hand firmly placed on his behind. “What’s your color?”
The older mumbles ‘green’ and San slaps his ass, not too hard. “Now?”
“Still green, sir.”
This time, San slaps his hard, then again, his hand hitting the space where his thigh meets his cheek. Seonghwa lets out a mewl and San pulls his head up again by his hair. Seonghwa meows, mouth agape, almost drooling. He slaps his ass for one last time turns his hyung around so he’s facing him. “If you want it that bad, take it. Ride me.”
Seonghwa quickly grabs the lube again and San unzips his pants and pulls them down barely below his ass. Seonghwa finishes stretching himself, then wraps his cold fingers around San’s dick and strokes it until he starts leaking precum. Then, he finally spreads some more lube on him and climbs into his lap. “You’ll let me come, right?” San chuckles.
“We’ll see.”
Seonghwa pouts but hovers above San’s cock anyway, then slowly sinks down, stopping several times to get used to the stretch. San is literally on cloud nine. It feels better than he could’ve ever imagined. Seonghwa is tight and warm and San could just about die. They’re both too worked up, or maybe they just can’t really last too long, but it takes only few bounces of the oldest member in San’s lap and they’re both close, too close. San remembers that they didn’t use a condom, so he tries to pull Seonghwa off but he whines and refuses to move. “Come inside!”
“It’s too messy, stop. Get off, Seonghwa, don’t make me angry.” And when he still doesn’t do as he’s told, San slaps him. His cheek turns red immediately and he looks at San teary eyed.
“Your color?”
“I’m green…” he says, still seated in San’s lap. “I just really want you to fill me up. Breed me, sir. Fill me up with more kittens.” San groans and grips his hips even tighter, fucking up to him. They’re no longer quiet, neither of them, and they both chase their orgasms. With a shout, Seonghwa spills all over his hand and San, throwing caution out of the window, comes deep inside the older man. Spent, they collapse on the bed, trying to catch their breath. He slowly pulls out of Seonghwa, taking his shirt off the ground to wipe the semen off of him.
“Content now? Happy with your reward?”
Seonghwa laughs, still breathless. “Of course I am.”
******
His breathing evens out and San is pretty sure that the older one is finally asleep. It was a long day for all of them. He spoons him from behind and places a soft kiss on the back of his neck. “I think I love you,” he whispers. “Actually, I don’t think so, I know it. Jesus Christ, Seonghwa, I’m in love with you.”