Chapter Text
jungkook was good at singing.
“just give the high notes to jungkook. he makes it look effortless.”
jungkook was good at dancing.
“we’ve had the choreography for a week. how the hell does he already have it down?”
jungkook was handsome.
“he could wear a trash bag and still look good. that’s so unfair.”
jungkook was, in a word, ‘perfect’.
jungkook had insomnia.
“kook, go to bed. it’s almost midnight.”
jungkook wants to retort back, say he can’t go to sleep, and that’s why he was still in the living room, but he holds his tongue. no one likes it when jungkook talks back.
“okay,” he says instead. he turns the tv off and quietly retreats back to his room.
jungkook considers sitting down at his desk and playing games for a while longer, but ends up deciding against it. he changes and crawls into bed.
jungkook’s thoughts like to creep in when it’s quiet.
and that was fine. there was nothing wrong with reflecting on the day. they’d worked on songs for the new album today. jimin had bought him coffee. that had been nice.
they’d scrapped jungkook’s version of the chorus for their title track today. that had been fine. namjoon and bang pd always made better hooks.
he messed up a run three times in a row. their producer looked disappointed.
jungkook didn’t blame him. he was supposed to be the main vocalist. he should be the best at everything.
jungkook looks at the clock.
01:31. he feels tired.
jungkook keeps thinking.
he thinks about how the studio had been empty besides the producer after he got out of the recording booth.
“where is everyone?”
“hm? oh, i think they went home around half an hour ago.”
that had been… fine. his band members normally waited on jungkook to finish so they could all go back to the apartment together.
jungkook had taken a while to fix that run though. they’d probably gotten bored.
his chest hurts.
jungkook thinks about how everyone had been gathered in the living room when he got back. they were all watching some drama. his stomach was rumbling from the walk home.
“hyung, do you want help making dinner?”
“huh?” seokjin had looked confused, like he hadn’t realized jungkook hadn’t been with them the whole time.
“oh, we ate already jungkookie. there’s leftovers in the kitchen though.”
he’d nodded wordlessly and went into the other room. the food on the stove was ice cold.
jungkook scooped it onto his plate anyway. no one questioned him when he came back into the living room, why they hadn’t heard the sound of a microwave.
maybe they hadn’t realized the food had been sitting out that long. maybe they’d thought it was still warm.
maybe they didn’t care.
he looks back at the clock.
03:23.
jungkook didn’t want to think anymore.
it’s four by the time he finally falls asleep, five twenty by the time he wakes up again. he’s exhausted.
jungkook sighs and sits up. he throws back the covers and pads down to the kitchen to make coffee. the cup’s scorching in his hands as he sits down on the couch to watch the sun rise.
he takes a sip. it's bitter. it scalds his throat, burns his lips.
jungkook doesn’t care.
the sun rises. he can hear the rest of the members waking up, alarms going off, doors opening and closing.
he thinks about the schedule for the day. his eyelids feel heavy. he silently longs for the day to be over already so he can try to sleep again.
he sips from the cup in his hands. it's his third one. his hands are shaking. too much caffeine.
jungkook sighs.