Chapter Text
Immortality is a curse. Why would people even want it? It is not a gift but rather a trap.
Death is not far from being a gift, but most of the time, Wooseok craves for it more than anyone else in the world. Having lived for over two centuries, he’s practically grown tired of being alive. It’s as if he isn’t alive anymore. But he is, to his dismay. Kim Wooseok is fully breathing, heart beating, hands warming, and alive.
It’s his curse. A curse he wants to escape from. Being a 200 and something (he stopped counting by 200, took him two centuries to get tired) year-old human in a 23 year old boy’s body is something Wooseok would like to escape from. If only things didn’t happen 200 years ago, if only he didn’t take that risk.
But he did. And now he’s been immortal for the majority of his never ending lifetime.
He tried ending his life. Countless attempts but they all end up with the same result. Alive.
“You’re deep in thought again,” Yohan, his nephew (with an impressively wide generation gap) called out.
It’s a miracle to be honest, to still have someone in Wooseok’s life despite his inability to die. He’s a freak. That’s what his family’s neighbors called him back in Joseon. He will only bring their family bad luck. His family should have listened to them. They shouldn’t have chosen to take responsibility for him. But they did and Wooseok will forever hold himself guilty for that.
His parents never abandoned him until Wooseok himself had to see them die. His siblings never left his side as well, so did their children, and their children’s own offspring until now. The Kim clan protected Wooseok and kept him safe for over two centuries.
They shouldn’t have. Wooseok would say to himself. He was a goner. He had brought this curse unto himself. They should have just chosen to live their lives comfortably, instead they brought themselves into the situation of having to protect Wooseok, and hide his immortality.
“You didn’t have to drive me here. I could obviously go by myself,” Wooseok says. Yohan, however, shakes his head and emits a low chuckle.
“If I didn’t drive you here you wouldn’t have gone. Do you know how embarrassing it is to get called by the Dean of your department? Apparently, he wants his ace back,”
“I don’t even get why I have to go to university anymore. I’ve gone through this countless times already. I even got a degree in business at Harvard back in the 50s,” Wooseok recollects his years overseas. There was a point in his life where he had to go to another country because people were starting to get suspicious of him. How he never aged a year or ten.
Fortunately, give it another twenty to thirty years, they’ll eventually forget. And Wooseok can freely come back and introduce himself as part of the Kim family again from either overseas, or some part in Korea.
“Well, suck it up,” Yohan mused.
“I’m older than you,” Wooseok uses his age card. This usually works however Yohan just laughs at his Great great great many more great Uncle.
“You’re so tiny,”
“And you’re going to be grounded. I’m telling your mom,”
Supposedly wanting to sound threatening, a smile instead is painted across his lips. Out of all the kids he’s met in his lifetime from the Kim clan, Yohan was by far his favourite. He was funny, a little more on the klutz side, and was really close to Wooseok.
Yohan had earned himself a place in Wooseok’s heart to the point that if his time comes to leave, Wooseok would be gravely heartbroken.
Having this thought, Wooseok takes a spare glance towards Yohan’s direction and sighs. How many more of his loved ones will leave him behind? Just how much death should he witness before his own comes?
“Wooseok, stop. I’m not dying yet,” As if he knows Wooseok like the back of his hand, Yohan consoles the older.
“You’re still grounded,” Wooseok manages to breathe out.
A grumble escapes Yohan’s lips, “I know,”
Immortality is a curse, but having a family by his side makes it a little bearable.
-
Wooseok shouldn’t be here. At his age and the credentials he’s gotten through the years, he doesn’t need to go back to school. But like what Yohan’s mother told him, he needs to adapt. He still needs to act like he’s living a normal life. That way it would be easier. It would be easier for him to not get questioned. He wouldn’t be called a freak.
A monster.
He remembers during 1902, when he was caught on to be peculiar, people condemned him and wanted him gone. They tried to capture him and imprison him. The Kim family did their best to protect him eventually losing some of them in the process.
They sent Wooseok away through a cargo ship to some island in Southeast Asia. He stayed there for a few years posing as a doctor given he had studied medicine. He helped a small community as their local medic, and if you were to ask Wooseok, he'd consider that chapter of his lifetime something he's proud of.
Now, years later. To avoid the same incident from happening again (although he's pretty sure if he was exposed during this era, they wouldn't want him imprisoned rather he's be in some lab with scientists trying to figure out the secret of his immortality), Wooseok has to adapt. And by adapting, like any normal 23 year old boy, he had to go to school.
Yohan told him to head straight to the dean's office so he did as he was told. This time, Wooseok decided to take engineering again. Come the advancement of technology, Wooseok deemed it would be beneficial for him to refresh his knowledge about the field and add new learnings.
He reaches the office in no time. Taking a deep breathe, he reaches for the knob. Twisting it open, Wooseok mutters an excuse of intrusion before completely entering the room. It smelled like old wood and it brings a wave of nausea and nostalgia.
"Wooseok, I'm glad you finally decided to come back. The dean has been worried about your absence," Miss Jung, the department secretary greeted him from her table.
Wooseok flashes an apologetic smile.
"Why don't you take a seat, the dean is just wrapping things up with a transferee," Miss Jung explains. "Would you like to have anything to drink?"
He politely declines the offer saying he's comfortably hydrated. Miss Jung shrugs before carrying on with her task before Wooseok's entrance.
This gives Wooseok a chance to take a peak at the glass door just a few steps towards the left from Miss Jung's behind. The dean was apparently talking to someone, a transferee, Wooseok recalls Miss Jung mentioning.
This transferee must be remarkable to have the opportunity of being graced by the dean on his first day.
He couldn't see him properly as his back was facing Wooseok.
An uncomfortable shiver ran down his spine.
He knew this back. It was too familiar.
Backs shouldn't be something you could recognize at a glance, but Wooseok doesn't just know this back.
He's too familiar with it.
The glass door opens and the dean gestures a polite exit for the transferee.
Wooseok felt his entire body freeze, his lungs knocked out of air.
"Wooseok, you're here!" the dean acknowledges him brightly. Wooseok hastily stands up from his seat and was about to sprint towards the door but he finds himself glued onto the floor once he meets the transferee's eyes.
Eyes he's seen in both his dreams and nightmares.
"Come, you should meet our new student in the department. He came all the way from Brazil after his immersion. He'll help us with our big research,"
Wooseok is blank. He couldn't find his tongue who seemed to be out of words.
"This is Wooseok," the dean tells the boy, "He's my brightest student in the department. He's the youngest in the team but I assume you're the same age with him?"
He hears the boy laugh in response before taking two big strides towards Wooseok.
"I'm Cho Seungyeon," the boy says reaching a hand out towards Wooseok.
Immortality wasn't the only constant thing in Wooseok's life.
Seungyoun was a variable he couldn't get rid of either no matter how hard he tried.
It's his curse.
He lives forever to see the one he loves the most die in front of his eyes repeatedly… lifetime after lifetime.
-
Seungyoun spares an awkward second before breaking into a shy chuckle. "Sorry, I forgot shaking hands isn't a thing here," he retracts his hand and bows instead.
"N-no," Wooseok finally blurts out, "Sorry I kind of zoned out,"
Seungyeon gives him a big smile and it made his insides twist and turn. 5 lifetimes later, Seungyoun is still as charming as ever.
Seungyoun. His name never really changes aside from his last name. Neither does his personality or his face.
And his fate.
Their fate.
It all started between the two of them. The curse.
Boys shouldn't like boys. He remembers his mother tell him. Back in Joseon, the Kim clan was a noble family who serves the palace. Wooseok was pretty close to the royal family. And was pretty close with the crown prince in particular, Lee Seungyoun.
He told his mother about this and Lady Kim was appalled but didn't really dare judge her son's feelings. She only told him these words in attempt to protect Wooseok. In Joseon, homosexuality wasn't really as nearly accepted unlike the modern times.
"Have you told anyone else about this?" Wooseok shakes his head. He hasn't. He never dared talk about this except towards his mother.
"What does his majesty feel about you?" his mother asks.
Wooseok takes a second to hesitate, too shy to admit but eventually says, "He likes me too,"
Lady Kim's expression softens, "He does?" she reaches out to cup Wooseok's face and he nods, "A lot."
"But boys shouldn't like boys. The both of you will get yourselves in trouble. Seok," she brings him to look her straight in the eye, "he's the crown prince. Right now, he's betrothed to a very powerful family. He's bound to marry her soon,"
Wooseok frowns, "Seungyoun says he won't marry her."
"It's not that easy. If he goes against the king's decree, that's considered treason. He'll be in grave danger… you'll be in terrible danger,"
His mother holds Wooseok's gaze. Through her pleading eyes she warned Wooseok. She begged him to think things through.
Don't do anything reckless.
It was a silent plea.
But Wooseok was stubborn, and so was Seungyoun. Because even after her warnings… things ended up this way.
Immortality and death.
-
"Well," the dean rumbles.
Wooseok was brought back to reality.
"Why don't you take Seungyoun here to his first class. Let's just save our talk later, Wooseok." Dean Lee turns to Seungyoun, "It's a pleasure meeting you, Seungyoun,"
Seungyoun flashes a smile playfully saluting in response. The dean laughs amusedly before walking back to his office.
Wooseok finds his throat dry. Maybe he should have taken that drink offer from Miss Jung a few minutes ago. He couldn't get himself to look at Seungyoun who was now waiting for him to speak up.
"Uhm, if you're too uncomfortable to take me… I guess I can find it myself? You must have other plans this morning,"
"No!" Wooseok says almost too quickly, "I'll take you,"
Seungyoun's grin grew wider and Wooseok swore he could have melted there on the spot.
He shouldn't be feeling this way.
He should stop feeling this way.
Because if he takes this path… the curse will trigger.
And Wooseok isn't ready to lose Seungyoun like how he lost him for the past five of his lives.
-
"You really met him?" Yohan asked, fascinated. Wooseok couldn't blame him. Yohan never met an actual Seungyoun because the last one (the fifth) was gone even before Yohan was born. According to Wooseok, it usually takes a lot of years before he gets to meet a reincarnated Seungyoun.
This one took forty five… not that he was counting.
"Yes, Yohan, I met him." Wooseok leans against the window. After taking Seungyoun to his class, Wooseok immediately excused himself. He takes his phone out, speed dials Yohan, and practically cries for his nephew to come pick him up and drive him home as soon as possible.
"Man, I wish I was there. I want to meet him,"
Wooseok gives him a look, "You can't and you won't,"
"Why not?" the poor boy pouts.
Because we're leaving. Wooseok couldn't find it im himself to say the words out loud.
"What if it doesn't work this time," Yohan starts, "Let's say the curse doesn't work… you find a way to break it-"
"That's impossible, Yohan," Wooseok deadpans, an impending headache starting to stress him out, "I've tried. Yet, I still lost him,"
All five.
"Did you ever get close?"
Once. It was Seungyoun's fifth reincarnation. Wooseok met him when he was in New York in the 60s. Wooseok was working as a business advisor, while Seungyoun was a Korean Business Heir looking for an opportunity to expand his business in the states.
He was taken aback at first like how their most first encounters would. But then he ws Seungyoun, and he loved him so much.
Their relationship became more than business, and it lasted longer than the past reincarnations. For a split moment of his long life, he had a flicker of hope that maybe… just a perhaps… the curse was broken.
Maybe, all it took was Wooseok to lose him four times and the fifth one would be the last.
So he indulged in that thought and loved Seungyoun with all his life.
That was until he was proved wrong.
A call from the hospital one evening was the switch that turned off that flicker of hope he held onto.
South Korean Conglomerate Heir, Died in an unfortunate Accident in New York City.
Wooseok never came back to New York after that.
"It's not going to break. The only way to break it is if I die and we both know that's unlikely to happen," Wooseok tells Yohan.
This was Kim Wooseok's living inferno. Live forever, meet the love of your life and his reincarnations, love him, lose him, and repeat.
He prays. Some nights, he gets down on both his knees to pray to a God he's not sure exists. He pleads for Seungyoun to be spared. Stop making their paths cross. Let him live.
But maybe there isn't a God.
Because today, he just met Seungyoun's sixth reincarnation.