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Chtholly was happy. Really, truly happy. She was in love, and Willem loved her back. She was... she was engaged. She was alive, and herself, and at home. She was naked in bed with the love of her life.
She had so many reasons to be happy.
It was just happiness that had a little streak of panic running through it.
"Chtholly?" Willem asked. "Do you want me to take off the blindfold?"
"No!" It was the only reason they'd gotten this far without her exploding from sheer embarrassment. It was what had let her undress herself, and him — he couldn't see her hands shaking — and guide him onto the bed. "I just need a minute."
"Okay," he said, and he reached blindly until he found her arm, and then stroked it. She smiled, and tangled her fingers with his, and that made it easier to stretch out next to him, and kiss him, and keep kissing him.
That was how they were doing this. She was in charge. She could set the pace. She decided what they did, and how far they went, and when to stop. It wasn't like she needed to climb right onto his — Oh, no, there she went, getting embarrassed internally just from trying to pick out the right word for his— his penis. His erection. She didn't need to straddle him and get this virginity thing taken care of once and for all. It was kind of tempting, but... no. She was nervous of even touching it.
"Does it hurt?" she asked, and when Willem just responded with a dreamy hum, his hands caressing her breasts, she finally reached out and encircled it with her hand so he'd know what she was talking about.
He gasped, and she yanked her hand away. "I'm sorry!" she blurted out.
"No no no! That was good. I was just startled. Please, continue."
"Are you sure." She eyed him suspiciously, not that he could tell. That last bit had sounded so smooth and sarcastic, like he was telling her to continue her knitting when he'd interrupted.
"Why would I tell you to do it if it hurt?"
"It just seems like it should hurt, sticking out like that, all red. Like it's swollen."
"No. It's... fine. And you touching it is good." She tried again, giving it an experimental rub. "Verrry good," he almost purred.
"I guess it would have to be," she said. She knew how this was supposed to work, even if she'd never seen a Disfeatured in any of the naughty books they used to giggle over, and men wouldn't be so keen to have those parts touched if they hurt. "Am I doing it right?"
"You don't need to be gentle with it," he said. "You can squeeze it pretty hard."
"Maybe I don't want to," she said. "You sort of got distracted. I liked what you were doing before."
"Then I'll go right back to that," he said. "Where were we?"
"Just a moment," she said, and she gathered her courage, then climbed on top of him, settling her weight just above his hips. His hands found her legs, and rubbed up and down her thighs. She shivered a little when his thumbs rubbed over the sensitive skin of her inner thighs — and yes, they were definitely moving a little higher each time. She put her hands on his, and they stopped moving immediately.
"I think I'd like the view right now," he said.
"Well that's just too bad, isn't it?"
He grinned. "You're really settling into this being-in-charge thing, aren't you?"
"I think I like it," she said, and she took his hands and guided them to her breasts. He groped blindly for a moment, then his fingers found one nipple, and he rubbed his thumb over it. She drew in her breath, sharply, and then let it out in a moan.
"Good?" he murmured. He was doing the same with his other hand.
"Ah... uh huh..." He was doing it again. "Don't stop," she managed to say. It felt like the core of her was melting, each movement of his hand a jolt low in her belly.
She raised herself up on trembling legs and guided one of his hands down between them. She felt him tense up underneath her, but then his fingers began to explore slick, sensitive flesh. She was starting to breathe heavily, and then he found a spot that made her jump. "There," she said, and as he began moving his fingers over the spot, all she could do was brace herself against his chest and try not to be embarrassed about the noises she heard herself making. There was no holding them back now, not when her entire awareness was centered on his hands, not when every nerve in her body suddenly lit up at once and she collapsed onto his chest because her arms had no strength at all.
She laid there, panting, for a time, while he held her. When she was finally able to speak, her first words were, "What was that?"
He laughed a little. "It was amazing."
"What did you do? Was this like that massage?"
"Not exactly," he said. "Maybe a little. Chtholly... Can I see you?"
She raised herself up enough to extricate her arms, and pushed his blindfold up. The way he looked at her was so tender she almost immediately looked away, burying her face in his chest, but she could feel him stroking her hair. "That had nothing to do with venenum," he said.
"Oh," she said, voice small. Something a lot more basic than that. "I get it."
"Don't sound like that," he said. "That was amazing. All I want is to be able to make you feel that way. All the time. Every day."
"Yeah." She felt a little dejected, though.
"Was it too soon after all?"
"No. That was... you've done that before, huh?"
"Not once."
"What, really?" She lifted her head to look at him.
He met her eyes without hesitating. "Really."
She smiled, but apparently it was time to feel bashful again, and she returned her head to his chest. "Good."
"Good," he echoed, and she felt his hands in her hair, again. Did he like the red, she wondered? Did he miss it? Probably not. Not knowing what it meant.
"And now what about you? How do I make you..." Oh no oh no. Words were so embarrassing. "How do I make you feel good?"
He cleared his throat slightly. "I seem to remember you making some moves in that general direction just a little while ago. And then aborting mission because, what was it? I was getting distracted?"
"Oh. Right." She flexed her hands. Still a little tingly, but not numb anymore. "I think I know what to do next."
"I'll be looking forward to it," he said, the smartass, and Chtholly gathered her courage, and sat up, even though he could see her now.
"If you want to blindfold me again," he said, and she dared to sneak a peek at his face. He was staring, blatantly admiring, and she felt a hot flare of embarrassment, but also a rush of... something else. Excitement? She liked having him look at her like that. It felt good.
"I can probably do without it," she said loftily.
"Well, good. But I was going to say — I enjoy the view, but the blindfold has its appeal too."
"It does?"
"Yeah. Not knowing what you're going to do until you do it — I, uh, kinda liked that." Was he blushing? How dare he. "And my sense of touch might have been more intense, since I wasn't focusing on sight at all?"
"Well. In that case." She pulled the blindfold back down over his face, then fussed with it, getting it just so, and tucking it down around his nose so he couldn't look down and get glimpses that way.
"If it helps, I wasn't even trying," he said.
"Uh huh."
"I had my eyes closed."
"Then there's nothing wrong with me being thorough, is there?"
"Yes, ma'am," he said, monotone, and she pinched his nipple. He yelped, but then said, "I kinda liked that, actually."
"Really?" That hadn't been the goal, but it was interesting information. "I'll keep that in mind."
"Please do," he said politely. She hummed an acknowledgment, but she was mostly focused on wriggling back into position; she was feeling brave and ambitious and he had a penis she was ready to try sitting on, once she got to it. And then something poked her in the buttock, and she shrieked.
"You found it," Willem said.
"Yes, I realized that, thank you very much." Before, it had been sticking straight up, but now it was pointing forward, hence the poking. And a little off to one side. Was that normal? It might be a little rude to ask.
She grabbed it, to his loud appreciation, and levered herself back to sit on his thighs.
"And now I have no idea of your plan," he said.
"Didn't you just say you liked that?"
"I suppose I did."
"Is it okay to, um, move it?" She was a little concerned about putting it inside herself. The way it was pointing, it wasn't going to go right in. She'd have to adjust the angle.
"What, like--" He broke off with a groan as she ran her hand up its length. "Yes?" he said breathlessly.
"I'm holding you to that," she said. It wasn't going to break off, right? It seemed okay. Flexible, at least at the base. But very hard, harder than when she'd first touched it. And it had been pretty hard then. She rose up on her knees, still holding it. She had it pointing straight up and he hadn't screamed. It must be all right. She positioned herself over him, and guided the tip between her legs.
"Chtholly..." he said, reaching out to rub her thigh again.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm not sure how long I'm going to last, like this. You might be disappointed."
It felt a little like her heart expanding. "Nothing you do is going to disappoint me," she said, and then she leaned forward to kiss him. To think she'd once asked for a kiss, that he'd told her no, and now here they were.
"I wouldn't be so sure," he said, when their lips parted, but he was smiling. "You're the boss. I just wanted to warn you."
"I'll take it under advisement," she said, and then she got herself back into position. No more hesitation. She guided him inside her, slowly, noticing the unfamiliar sensation of muscles moving in a way they never had before, of something opening her up inside. Of Willem, inside her body. "Wow," she murmured, almost to herself.
"Chtholly," he said, shakily, sounding almost like he was about to laugh or cry. She put her hand on his cheek, a little concerned, and he nuzzled into her palm. "I love you," he said, softly.
The words lodged straight into her heart; it almost felt like it stopped, or maybe it was all of time that stopped. Her eyes felt misty. She swallowed hard, and she ran her thumb over his lips, and then she leaned forward to kiss him, rocking her hips against his. Was this how to move? Was this good enough?
It seemed to be; his hands were moving on her sides, her back, and she could feel the movement inside her, and grind her hips against his as they moved together. It didn't feel like it was building to anything, not like before, or maybe it was just such a different feeling she couldn't recognize it, but it was good.
She'd thought she'd be bouncing up and down more. Maybe she should try, she thought, but she liked this, pressing up against him, skin on skin. She liked being able to kiss him, and she liked being able to see his face, up close, as he gasped, jerking his hips up into her, and moaned raggedly. She liked being right there to pull the blindfold off of him, and kiss his eyelids, his mouth, the tip of his nose.
"What's that about?" he mumbled, and she giggled.
"Just felt like it," she said.
"Mmm." He wrapped his arms around her back. "Told you I wouldn't have much staying power."
"That's all right," she said. "Next time, I'm going to really have some fun with you."
"You didn't have fun this time?"
"Oh, I enjoyed it. But getting to see how you reacted when I did things to you — I want more of that."
He sighed. "I'm really in for it, huh?"
"Why are you saying it like it's a bad thing?" She rose up on her elbows to pout at him, and he reached up to cup her cheek with one hand.
"It's not a bad thing. But I was hoping I could do more things for you."
She shivered a little, thinking of what else those hands had done just now. "Oh, you can. I'm going to make sure of that."
He smiled. "Glad to hear it. I'm in your hands, then. Please take good care of me."
"I will," she said, and with that in mind, she pulled the blanket up over both of them. Spring was coming soon, but it was still chilly if you didn't stay dressed.
"Maybe next time we can try without the blindfold," he said. "I like the sound effects, but I want to see your reactions, too."
Her face was so hot he could probably feel it burning against his shoulder. "Maybe we will and maybe we won't," she said.
"One step at a time." He reached for her hand, where it rested on his chest, and they laced their fingers together. It used to seem so difficult, and now it was effortless. Kissing him was easier now, too. She wasn't going to be embarrassed forever.
"Willem," she said. Maybe she should sit up, make eye contact with him, but she was warm, and comfortable, and pleasantly tired. And he knew how she felt, even if she just felt like saying it right now. "I love you."