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‘He’s also a great partner outside of business… We’re together. David is my boyfriend. And I’ve never been happier in my life, and so I just… I hope you guys can accept that,’ Patrick said, nerves thrumming as he looked across at his parents.
‘Sweetheart,’ his mother said, taking his hands in her own, ‘this has been a fun little experiment for you, but don’t you think it’s time to grow up? You need to call Rachel and settle down.’ Patrick felt stunning, rocked to his terrified core.
He turned to his father, ‘Dad?’
‘Come on Patrick. You can’t be serious,’ Clint said, his voice full of bile.
Patrick opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. Tears spilled from his eyes, running down his cheeks. He didn’t know what to do. His worst fears became reality as his parents sat before him, their eyes growing cold.
The words his parents spoke broke his heart but the look of disgust in their eyes was too much to handle. David. He needed David.
Pulling himself to his feet he looked for David, who stood on the other side of the room. The distance felt like miles, his feet felt like they were made of lead.
David turned and looked at him, offering him a smile, his brown eyes shining. He seemed completely unaware of the tears running down Patrick’s face.
After what felt like ages, David began to move towards Patrick.
Just as Patrick’s grief stricken legs gave out, and he started tumbling forward, David reached him catching him in his arms.
‘David,’ Patrick breathed, through sobs building in his chest. The solid weight of David’s arms wrapped around him, eased him slightly.
‘If you’d just told them in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this situation,’ David said. Patrick felt his body tense.
‘I…’ he tried to speak but couldn’t find the words. He couldn’t believe David was saying that, not after their conversation earlier in the day.
‘You keep keeping secrets. Rachel first, now this. I don’t know how I can ever trust you,’ David didn’t sound angry, didn’t even sound hurt. He sounded distant, cold, shut off.
‘Please David,’ he begged, his breath coming ragged and a heaving. He felt himself being pushed from David’s body, pushed away into nothingness.
The urge to run came back to Patrick. He needed to get out of there. Needed to get some space from everything that was happening.
He turned towards the door, his feet feeling even heavier than before.
When he finally reached the door, blurred from his tears he reached for the handle as another sob wracked his body. He found the door locked.
His knees gave way, slumping against the door, through his tears he looked up and saw David standing beside his parents. All shaking their heads, talking together, looking disappointed at Patrick as he pulled his knees to his chest begging for it to stop.
As his whole body shook with grief, the edges of his blurred vision began to go black.
‘Please… please,’ Patrick cried out, the sounds coming from deep inside him, his hands reaching desperately, unsure whether he wanted David and his parents to rush to him or to push them further away.
Sitting up in bed, sweat covered, Patrick let out a sobbed breath.
He pulled his knees towards himself, pressing the heels of his hands into the burning eyes.
He tried desperately to calm his heavy breathing, but found that he couldn’t catch his breath.
The bed shook under him, as his body heaved.
The dream had felt so real. Everything about it had. The rejection from his parents, David’s disappointment in his secret. Patrick hadn’t felt that alone for a long time.
He couldn’t understand why he had dreamt that when the party, coming out to his parents, had actually been one of the best nights of his life. It was all his worst fears coming to fruition. His brain offering one final reminder of what could have been.
‘Patrick?’ David’s sleep heavy voice came from beside him. His hand touching gently to Patrick’s back. Patrick flinched at the touch, remembering the dream. Remembering the rejection.
‘Honey?’ David's worry replacing sleep in his voice, sat up, turning on the bedside light and pulling Patrick into his arms as he listened to Patrick trying to swallow a sob, ‘it’s ok. I’m here. You’re ok.’
Patrick reached up and grabbed David’s arm, holding him tightly. His fingers digging desperately into David's skin, using the touch to remind himself of reality. That everything was ok. That the dream was not his reality.
It took a long time but finally, slowly, Patrick’s breathing returned to normal. David running his hand across Patrick’s sweat soaked back.
‘I’m here. You’re ok,’ David kept breathing, pressing kiss after kiss into Patrick’s hair.
‘David,’ Patrick breathed out, slowly, forcing himself to remember that it was a dream. That the night had gone well. Better than well. It was the best night of his life so far. He had received the acceptance from his parents he had craved so badly, and he had made some important decisions about his future, their future.
His parents had accepted him completely. They cared that he was happy, that who he was with made him happy, not about the gender of the person he loved.
David had been there every step of the way, supporting him through the entire experience of coming out to his parents.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
‘Don’t be,’ David whispered, ‘did you want to talk about it?”
‘I…,’ Patrick took a breath, a shiver ran through him at the memory of his dream.
‘It’s ok,’ David pulled him closer, kissing the top of his head softly.
Taking a deep breath Patrick spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, ‘I dreamt that they rejected me. That they told me to go back to Rachel.’
‘Oh,’ David said, his own eyes filling with tears.
‘And you were mad because I kept it from you,’ Patrick pressed on despite the lump forming in his throat, ‘I’m so sorry I kept this secret too David. I was scared.’
David shifted around Patrick, taking Patrick’s face in his hands.
‘I understand why you didn’t tell them Patrick. I wish you could have told me, but I understand. I’m not mad. I promise I’m not mad,’ tears escaped David’s eyes as he spoke. Patrick nodded mutely, not trusting his voice. David felt Patrick clench his jaw under his hand.
‘Do you believe me?’ David asked, running his thumb across Patrick’s cheek.
‘Yeah… I just feel bad that I made this happen,’ Patrick replied after a moment.
‘Nothings happened. I’m ok. Your parents are ok. You’re ok,’ David ran his thumb across Patrick’s damp cheek.
'Would you really have done it?' Patrick asked not able to look at David as he spoke.
'Done what?' David replied.
'Pretended to be just my business partner all night,' Patrick said.
'If that was what you needed. Then yeah. I would have hated having to hide how I feel about you, but if you needed that I would have done it,' David replied, running his hand up and down Patrick’s arm. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd pretended not to be dating someone, but it would have been the first time he understood why.
‘Thank you,’ Patrick breathed, his tears finally slowing.
‘For what?’ David asked, leaning forward and kissing Patrick’s cheek.
‘For being here for me. For everything,’ Patrick said. It was his turn to lean forward, capturing David’s lips gently with his own.
After a long moment, they pulled apart, David pulling Patrick against his chest. Patrick had relaxed significantly since he had woken up but David could still feel the tightness across Patrick’s shoulders.
'What do you need?' David asked, threading his fingers through Patrick's hair.
Patrick knew what he wanted. Knew what would help calm him and know everything would be ok. But he didn't want to say it out loud. It felt stupid, childish.
'I…' Patrick couldn't think of what to say instead of the truth.
And like David was inside his head, reading his thoughts he said what Patrick couldn’t bring himself to, 'you want to see your parents don't you?'
'I'll see them tomorrow,' Patrick glanced at the clock and saw it read 4am.
'I don't think they'll mind,' David pressed.
Patrick opened his mouth to protest, but he couldn't find the words.
'Come on,' David stepped from bed, pulling Patrick with him.
'It's the middle of the night David,' Patrick protested weakly as he was handed his blue hoodie. He pulled it over his white shirt. He wore his blue and white striped pyjama pants.
'I guarantee they won't care,' David said pulling on his sweater.
'I haven't woken them up because of a nightmare since I was ten,' Patrick pointed out.
'So they're probably missing it then,' David placed his hands on Patrick's shoulders, ‘If you're feeling like things haven't been resolved yet they’re probably feeling the same. They want to be there for you. Trust me.'
A small smile grew on Patrick's face, 'I love you David.'
In silence they pulled on their shoes and hand in hand headed out the door into the darkness.
David drove, keeping a hand firmly on Patrick’s thigh. As they pulled into the parking lot, a bashful Patrick called his mom.
After two rings Marcy answered, 'Patrick? Sweetheart? Are you ok?' Her voice tired but full of worry.
'Yeah, I'm ok mom,' Patrick looked at David who nodded encouragement, 'I'm… I'm actually outside. I know it's late, or early, but I just needed to see you.'
Moments later the door of the motel room opened and Marcy appeared, wearing a long nightgown covered in blue birds.
'Come in darling,' she waved her hand.
Patrick waved in reply, hanging up the phone, 'did you want to come in?'
'No. You go. I'll go to my room. Come get me when you're done,' David gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
Patrick leaned forward and kissed David. It reminded him of their first kiss. In the same parking lot, David now driving. Even after all that time, the countless kisses that they shared, Patrick’s stomach still swooped and twisted with excitement as he felt David’s lips against his own.
'I'll see you soon,' Patrick said when he pulled back, smiling nervously at David. Patrick climbed from the car closing the door quietly.
David looked up and saw that Clint had joined Marcy in the doorway.
He waved to them thankful that the darkness of the early morning hid his reddening cheeks. They’d kissed briefly at the party but having Patrick’s parents seeing them kiss still felt new and awkward.
Patrick walked towards his parents and fell into his mother's arms, the emotions from his dream flooding back.
With a final glance back to David who was watching from the car Patrick stepped into the room. They closed the door behind them, shutting out the early morning chill.
'Is everything ok Patrick?' Clint asked, concern in his voice.
'Yeah. Umm… this is stupid,' Patrick said, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck, 'I… I had a bad dream and really needed to see you.'
Marcy couldn't help but smile remembering Patrick as a small boy creeping into their room in the middle of the night after a nightmare.
‘Come on Sweetheart,’ Marcy walked Patrick over to the couch in the corner. She sat beside him. Clint sat opposite.
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you,’ Patrick gripping his hands in front of him.
‘We weren’t sleeping too well either son,’ Clint replied softly.
‘Because… because of what I told you?’ Patrick asked, his voice breaking. The fear from his dream simmering just below the surface.
‘We meant it when we said we just want you to be happy Patrick,’ Marcy reached over and took her son’s hands in her own, ‘David seems lovely. We can tell how much you care about each other… I… I don't remember the last time you looked so happy.’
‘I am mom… happy I mean,’ Patrick said, a smile spreading involuntarily across his face as he thought about his life with David.
‘What was the dream about?’ Clint asked.
Holding his mother’s hand, Patrick told them about the dream, tears filling his eyes as he remembered the feeling of rejection and fear.
‘I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell us,’ Clint said when Patrick finished speaking, his own voice shaking with emotion.
‘I’m glad I finally did,’ Patrick replied, ‘sorry I kept it from you.’
They sat in silence for a time, a comfortable silence filling the room.
‘Why weren’t you sleeping?’ Patrick asked, glancing between his parents.
Marcy and Clint shared a look before Clint spoke, ‘we were trying to work out where we went wrong. What we could have done so that you would feel comfortable talking to us.’
Patrick’s heart dropped. He knew his parents hadn’t done anything to stop him telling them, the whole situation was just too overwhelming to talk to them about.
‘I’m sorry I kept this from you. I was just scared… worried that this could change how you saw me,' Patrick stared at his hands again.
'Was it something we did? To make you feel like you couldn't tell us before?' Clint asked.
Patrick could have laughed at the comment if the mood wasn't so heavy, 'not at all. This might seem crazy but… I didn't realise myself until I moved here.'
'How?' Marcy asked before she could stop herself.
'I think… I think I had so many expectations pushed on me, by so many people, by myself. Find the perfect girl, get the perfect job, get married, buy a house in the suburbs. It was all there. My friends used to tell me how great Rachel was. And she was great but I just couldn't feel happy. You know what we were like. On and off again. I couldn't work out what was wrong with me.' He took a breath trying to find the words. Marcy fought the urge to pull her son towards her and hold him as he spoke.
'Then I moved here, and met David and everything just made sense. I just had this aha moment. Everything just fell into place. I felt how I was meant to feel. Does that make sense?' He looked at his parents, trying to read their expressions.
'Yeah. It does son. I'm so sorry you didn't work it out sooner,' Clint said.
'I'm not,' Patrick replied firmly, 'if I'd worked it out sooner I probably wouldn't be here, with David. We might have never met.' Marcy and Clint smiled.
'So how did you meet?' Marcy asked. She knew the business partner story but now wanted to hear the true one. Desperate to fill in the gaps of her son’s life.
So Patrick told them everything. David coming in and being a total nervous mess, leaving a dozen voicemails, his amazing business idea. All the way through to their almost not-a-date date.
'...and then he kissed me and that was it.' Patrick beamed. Clint had watched his son's face throughout his story, his smile growing more and more as he spoke. He couldn’t remember seeing Patrick that happy before.
Marcy reached over and took Patrick’s hand in her own, wiping a tear from her cheek, ‘thank you for telling us.’
‘Sorry it took me so long,’ Patrick looked at his mother, for a moment she saw Patrick aged 6 sitting in front of her, nervous and wanting her approval. She pulled Patrick into a tight embrace.
When she pulled back to look at her son more clearly than she had in a long time, his eyes shone with unshed tears.
Patrick took the opportunity to fill them in on the rest of his relationship with David. All the parts of his life that he had edited out when they had spoken. He told them about Open Mic Night and singing to David, about David calling him his boyfriend for the first time while arguing that the lip balm should be moved, about Rachel coming and the hardest week of his life when he thought he had lost David, about saying ‘I love you’ for the first time over a box of dog sweaters, about the rope climbing they did when Alexis made David worry that their relationship was boring, of David’s support when he auditioned for Cabaret and how David stepped in and played baseball despite hating team sports.
For Clint and Marcy it filled in all the gaps in their son’s life, it explained to them why he was so happy when he called, it explained why his voice came alive when he talked about David and why his voice would shake when they asked if he was seeing someone, to the point where they stopped asking. They both felt an enormous sense of relief at finally being able to see Patrick for the first time in a long time. They felt so proud of Patrick for living a life that made him happy, that made him whole.
Patrick yawned, 'sorry. I should probably let you get some sleep.’
'Maybe could move our breakfast to brunch,' Marcy suggested, fighting her own yawn.
‘Good idea,’ Patrick said rubbing his hand across his face.
‘David’s coming too?’ Clint asked.
‘Yeah. I really want you to get to know him,’ Patrick said standing. They had spoke with David on the phone a number of times, especially in the lead up to the surprise party, but not in the context of him being Patrick’s boyfriend. They wanted to get to know the man that had brought their son so much happiness.
‘We want that too. He really loves you. We can already tell,’ Marcy said squeezing her son’s arm.
‘I really love him too,’ Patrick said in a small voice. He felt himself blush.
‘We know,’ Marcy said with a smile.
As they opened the door and stepped from the motel room into the early light they all stopped. David was asleep in the front of the car, parked out the front of the room. Patrick’s heart clenched at the sight. David knew that Patrick would want him close so David stayed as close as he could, while giving Patrick the space he needed to talk to his parents.
‘He waited for you,’ Clint said, gripping his son’s shoulder.
‘I’m going to marry him,’ Patrick said, the words left his mouth before he was able to stop himself.
‘What?’ Clint and Marcy said in unison, turning and staring at their son shocked.
'I want to ask David to marry me… I want to marry David,' the smile returned to Patrick's face, fighting against the nerves, 'I… I know this is new for you both. That it's a lot to process. But I've been with David for almost two years now and I want to be with him for the rest of my life.’
The thought of marrying David had been floating around Patrick’s head for a long time, something that he saw in their future. Telling his parents about their relationship was the last barrier between him and that future. Last night, as they swayed together at the end of the party, Patrick realised there was now nothing between him and asking David to marry him.
Marcy turned back and looked at David’s sleeping form, his head resting against the drivers side window. He looked different when he slept, relaxed, and at peace. Like his guards had dropped. But she realised she had seen him look peaceful and relaxed before. He looked like that when he looked at Patrick.
‘I’m so happy for you,’ Marcy said pulling Patrick into a hug.
'Dad?' Patrick looked at his father.
'He’s a lucky man,’ Clint said, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
‘I’m the lucky one,’ Patrick laughed, tears falling down his cheeks.
‘Go and get some rest sweetheart,’ Marcy cupped her son’s face and kissed his cheek.
Patrick hugged his father before walking over to the car.
Patrick heard his parents motel room door shut behind him, any weight he had still been feeling from the night before well and truly lifted.
He stopped at the drivers side door of the car, looking in at David, hair pressed against the glass, his face slack with sleep.
Biting back a smile, Patrick knocked lightly on the glass. David jumped, eyes scanning around as sleep left him.
When he saw Patrick he blinked slowly and opened the door.
‘Hmm… what?’ David rubbed a hand across his face, his eyes glazed from sleep.
‘You should have gone to bed,’ Patrick said reaching down to grab David’s hand.
‘I… I just wanted to be near you. In case you needed me,’ David said, casting his eyes down.
‘Let’s go back to bed. I’ll drive,’ Patrick pulled David from the car. David stood, still slightly groggy on his feet.
‘How was it?’ David asked, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s shoulders.
I’m going to marry him passed through Patrick’s mind.
‘Good. Really good,’ Patrick smiled. David looked at him, brown eyes soft from sleep. Glancing down to David’s lips Patrick leaned forward, pressing David against the side of the car and kissed him.
David hummed into the kiss, wrapping his arms even tighter around Patrick holding him close.
Patrick gripped David’s waist, holding him tightly, pressing himself just a little harder against David’s firm body.
When the kiss broke, both of them breathing deeply, they smiled, arms still wrapped tightly around each other.
‘Thank you David,’ Patrick breathed.
‘For what?’ David asked, instantly transported back, almost two years ago to the same parking lot.
‘For bringing me here. For everything,’ Patrick said, an embarrassed blush joining the pink of his cheeks that the kiss had caused.
David just shook his head smiling, pulling Patrick into a tight embrace.
They stood like that, swaying against each other, as the sun slowly rose, the light still orange and purple of early morning.
‘Let’s go,’ Patrick whispered. David simply nodded and with one final quick kiss walked to the other side of the car and climbed in.
As Patrick climbed into the driver's seat he looked one last time towards his parents room. There was an almost imperceptible shift in the curtain. He bit back a smile, realising that his parents, or at least his mother had seen them kiss against the car, had seen them hold each other tightly. He didn’t mind though, because he knew it had been too long that he had been keeping his relationship with David a secret and he didn’t want to hide it any more.
He reached across the car and took David’s hand in his, as they drove back to Patrick’s apartment.
He was glad that his parents were the first people he had told that he wanted to marry David. He’d known it in one way or another for a long time, but now that his parents knew about their relationship, there was nothing standing between him and asking David the most important question of his life.