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"He's my best friend... That's all there is to it, and now... Now he's gone." Jason said, his hands clenched into fists on the podium, his jaw tight. He was blinking erratically, trying to will the tears away. "I... I don't know what to do." Jason said, looking down at his fists.
Jason looked back up and Nico's eyes met his. Nico was hoping his eyes displayed that he didn't know what to do, either.
Jason's eyes were a stormy blue, apposed to his usual sky blue, his eyes were clouds and the rain was beginning to fall. Nico thought Jason composed himself extremely well. Jason went through his whole heart-breaking and earth shattering speech about Percy, that made Nico un-able to breath and want to run away to re-write his. Even through talking about everything Percy, Jason was just crying now, Nico supposed it finally hit him; he wasn't talking about Percy as of now, how he is, Jason was just realizing he was talking about how Percy was. Because when people referred to Percy now, it will always be in past-tense.
Jason stepped down the three small stairs you use to get up to the podium and collapsed into his chair, by Piper, whom was crying. Her eyes bright, but not in a good way, in a terrifying way. You never see Piper like this, you never see Jason like this, you never see Nico like this.
Nico stood up and smoothed his suit as well as wiping his sweaty palms. He approached the steps, looking down as his legs climbed them. Three little steps, and Nico was panting as if he just ran a marathon. He kept his gaze downcast, unable to look at the people crying. Crying for the same reason as him.
Percy was gone.
For a long time, it was silent. Nico was supposed to be talking, but he just stared at his hands, the veins in his hand to be exact. The branches surging with life throughout him, going down his fingers and up his arm, some visible, some not.
Percy's veins used to work.
"Percy." Nico managed to gasp out, shaking his head. "Lived and died too quickly, it... stumps me." Nico said, wiping his eyes. "It stumps be because how could anyone - if there is anyone up there - take out his light. One of the few people pulling apart the darkness. A firework."
Nico looked up when he heard someone gasp from not being able to breath correctly; it was Leo.
"Percy would always tell me 'someone, somewhere, has it worse' and I think that is one way he coped, aside form his friends and family." Nico said. "I think that particular fact helped him cope wi-with all that he was leaving. And... I really wish I had the mindset." Nico said, sniffing quickly as tears poured like buckets from his eyes. "I really wish I had that mindset because I can't think of anything worse than losing Percy Jackson." Nico looked up at the ceiling, which revealed a clear, blue sky. How it could look so sunny and just nice outside was beyond him. Everyone should be crying today, no matter if they just got a promotion, or a raise, or sex... They should be crying because Percy Jackson is dead. "I always wondered how it would be to live with him, and I'm finding out... And, I don't like it." Nico sobbed. "I wish... I'd just rather wither away," Nico looked over at Percy, whom lay, visible, in his coffin. "But he wouldn't have that, I couldn't do that to him... Not him." Nico took hiccuping breaths, trying to steady his breathing, to no avail. "H-He alwa-always said things tha-that changed me, this one in particular manages to make me smile and cry to the point where I can't trust my own two feet to hold me up.
"One day, Percy and I were on a date. A late night picnic, something he always wanted to do and who was I to deny?" Nico said, the words were meant to be light, but he couldn't bring himself to smile. "We were looking up at the stars a-and he turned to me... A-and he said 'when I was a boy, I thought the stars were souls, or something a long those lines, just something to guide me' he had said,s'And... I still do it sometimes, I look up at them even though I know better... It just gives me some sort of odd comfort knowing my mind wasn't always filled with preparing myself and others for my oncoming death... That my mind was once free and full of stupid ideas'".
Nico took a breath, hearing choked sobs in the quiet of the building, his own voice giving him a headache. "Then, he said: 'My time is coming... And, when I stop ticking, I want my family, my friends, and the love of my life to look up and know that I once thought those thoughts, and for them to know... Even if it isn't fully true, or anything, that I am there to guide them'".
Nico was writhing in physical pain at how hard it was on his heart to recite that. His shattered heart, shattering into smaller pieces, soon, it'll just be dust. He couldn't hold himself calm anymore, he wondered briefly if anyone could understand him. He went on anyway.
"So... He better be prepared, because I'll be looking up at the stars every single fuc- every night," Nico said, saving himself from cussing, even though he knew Percy wouldn't mind. "Even if he really isn't in the night sky, even if he and I both know he really isn't a star."
He took a deep breath, then another, then another. He was losing all he was right at this moment, he could feel it.
"He taught me the courage of stars, before he left... How life will carry on endlessly, even after death. He explained the infinite, how rare and truly beautiful it is, to even exist. I'd always ask him, to say it all again, I'd give anything to hear him say it one more time that the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes."
Nico looked up, his eyes looking at Percy's face. "I'd give anything, Percy."
They moved Percy outside and Nico waited until everyone gave their flowers and said their goodbyes to Percy himself. Nico had a hard time bringing himself to do it, he didn't want to. Of course he didn't. No one here did, but the eventually did set their flowers with him and tell him goodbyes.
Don't they know he won't say anything back?
How can they look at him right now?
How?!
Nico found himself walking towards the coffin, everyone else cleared away from he and Percy, and Nico was immensely grateful. Nico clenched the blue flower in his hand, holding it to his chest before laying it down with all the others. Percy didn't look asleep, he didn't look peaceful, he didn't look like Percy.
He was too neat, too put together. Nico looked around him, making sure no one's eyes were trained on them, Jason's and everyone else's were, but he didn't mind. Nico took out blue food coloring, slipping it into Percy's jacket and used that same hand to ruffle up Percy's hair some. That's better.
Nico leered over him and smiled, despite everything. It was shaky and his tears were crashing onto Percy's still form, but he willed the smile to stay, even when the corners of his mouth hitched down into a frown. He leaned down and kissed Percy's forehead.
"I'll be looking up at the stars, Percy, guide me."
End