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“Oh you’ll never guess who’s gonna be in town tonight!” Baekhyun delivers this line casually as he steals a fry from Kyungsoo’s plate. Like he’s not about to drop a category five hurricane right into the middle of Kyungsoo’s placid world.
“Who?” Kyungsoo asks disinterestedly, taking a bite of his greasy burger and feeling the ketchup drip onto his fingers.
“Jongin.”
Kyungsoo freezes, mid chew. The mustard is also sliding out of the bun now, dribbling and mixing with the ketchup, turning his hand into a mess.
“You remember that guy right? Hung out with us senior year?” Baek continues, oblivious to condimentageddon and the respective apocalypse happening in Kyungsoo’s head. He’s too busy scrolling through his phone with purpose, looking for an itinerary.
Kyungsoo finally grabs a napkin and takes his time, cleaning himself up and chewing thoroughly before swallowing the burger and the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I remember.”
“Chanyeol says we should go to a movie and dangujang, live it up like the old days. You in?”
Like the old days. Does he dare…
“Sure,” he hears himself say nonchalantly. He adds in a shrug, way too delayed to seem natural, but Baekhyun’s not looking at him anyway, busy texting Chanyeol back and an excited grin on his face.
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Kyungsoo manages to buy some time by insisting he needs to walk Meokmul and swing by his real estate office to drop off some sales documents before meeting up with them. This gives him time to reconsider going, a chance to come down with a sudden case of malaria or something to get out of this.
It’s been six years since he’s last seen Jongin. And at least… six days or so since he last thought of him.
Does he even remember Kyungsoo?
He pregames, swirling a tumbler of bourbon while he sits in his desk chair, looking out at the twinkling lights of the city. Somewhere out there in Busan, his two best friends are having dinner and drinks with their old acquaintance, Jongin. Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo had been best friends for years when Jongin drifted into their crew. A junior in Chanyeol’s senior seminar class. Baek and Kyungsoo had crashed their study session one time, half drunk with some story they just couldn’t wait to share with Chanyeol. In a more sober moment, Kyungsoo would’ve apologized for their interruption and dragged Baekhyun out the door with him. But that night, he was tipsy enough to plop down on the sofa next to the stranger and launch straight into the tale of Baekhyun’s run-in with campus security.
He doesn’t remember a lot from this first meeting, except that he was vaguely aware he kept grabbing Jongin’s thigh on accident while he animatedly explained Baek ‘evading the cops.’ Even in his drunken haze, he remembers thinking it was the most toned thigh he’d ever felt before.
A hangover later, and it seemed Jongin was now a regular in their once trio outings. Not formally a part of every Friday night beer crawl or Sunday games of billiards, but there most times.
They didn’t meet until Kyungsoo’s last semester in Seoul. Only knew each other maybe three months.
Enough to make a permanent impression in Kyungsoo’s mind.
And then February arrived, and Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun graduated and went back home to Busan.
He never spoke with Jongin again.
Kyungsoo’s phone buzzes, and he checks the message. They’re waiting for him at a dangujang half a mile away. He taps his phone on his leg, rotating with each tap, as he mulls over what he’ll even say when he sees Jongin.
He never told Chan or Baek. Is positive Jongin didn’t either. Could he handle it coming up casually tonight?
‘Did y’all ever know we hooked up back then? Kyungsoo-hyung and I?’
He pounds the rest of his drink and grabs his coat, hustling out into the crisp night air.
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“There he is!” Chanyeol greets with his booming voice, loud above the noise in the billiards hall. His ridiculously long arms are stretched dramatically and almost knock into an innocent passerby.
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. At least being with his two besties since middle school provides a certain standard of comfort for this. He wonders if it feels awkward for Jongin. Who he can’t actually see in the hall as he approaches Chanyeol’s table.
His large eyes scan the full space. “Where’s…” Kyungsoo’s voice trails off as he notices a tall, broad framed man in a fitted blue sweater leaning over the jukebox in the corner. As if he heard Kyungsoo’s voice, the figure turns and-
Time has been good to Jongin.
Golden skin, just as radiant as Kyungsoo remembers, stretches smoothly over a sharper jawline and more prominent cheekbones. Gone is any final trace of baby fat from 21 year old Jongin, leaving him with manly edges sculpted by the gods themselves. His hair is longer than in college, and a sandy brown now. His eyes, though. His soft, sparkling eyes are exactly the same.
Jongin’s lips turn into a gentle smile. “Hi, Kyungsoo.”
He leaves the jukebox and starts walking over, and that’s when Kyungsoo stops admiring and starts panicking. He didn’t plan what to say. And equally as important, what not to say.
“Hi. Jongin.” Safe enough. He sticks out a hand for a handshake.
Chanyeol guffaws. “Soo, you’re such a nerd. He’s not a client. He’s an old friend, you weirdo.”
Jongin doesn’t join in with the teasing though, taking Kyungsoo’s offered hand and shaking it, giving a little squeeze at the end. Or maybe Kyungsoo imagines that part.
“It’s good to see you,” Jongin says warmly.
“Same,” Kyungsoo agrees with a nod. He starts taking off his coat just to have something to do, to not give time for awkwardness to set in any further.
“What’d I miss?” Baekhyun asks, returning from the restroom.
“Nothing - we’re about to play a round. Doubles. Who’s pairing with whom?” Chanyeol answers.
“I call Kyungsoo! Smols versus talls!” Baekhyun chirrups, grabbing two pool sticks off the wall and tossing one Kyungsoo’s way.
He catches it smoothly and inspects the tip, decides it’s serviceable, and wanders over to Baekhyun’s side of the table.
“Jongin, I hope your game has improved since college. Because mine still hasn’t and Soo’s still a total ace,” Yeol grumbles.
“I may have refined my technique a bit,” Jongin says elusively.
With a loud crack, Kyungsoo breaks the rack of balls cleanly, pocketing two solids right off the bat. Baekhyun whoops, and it’s enough to crack a grin from Kyungsoo.
The four of them cycle through turns while cycling through small talk. What’s everyone been up to, how are jobs going, etc. Jongin neatly pockets a striped ball for his team nearly every time he’s up.
He has gotten better.
Kyungsoo remembers a late night in college, when Baekhyun and Chanyeol called it quits early due to work the next morning. Jongin and Kyungsoo decided to play a few more rounds, not quite ready to leave the warmth of the pool hall and trudge through the light, white snow falling outside.
“How do you put that spin on the ball, hyung?” Jongin whined, having missed another shot.
Kyungsoo took another swig of his beer and chuckled at how pouty the other looked. “It’s all about tip placement. You gotta strike the lower side of the ball,” he explained.
Jongin attempted it again, and the ball shot across the table, still free of backspin.
“No, no, not so rough,” Kyungsoo tsked at him. “Look.” He rounded the table and stood behind Jongin, one hand on his back, the other covering his hand on the pool stick. “You have be gentle, coax it into submission,” he mumbled, closing one eye and helping Jongin line up the cue to the proper spot on the ball. Together, they hit the ball and watched it slide down the table and pull up with perfect backspin near the lip of the hole. “Great job,” Kyungsoo encouraged.
As he looked at Jongin, he realized how close their faces were, practically cheek to cheek when they made the shot. So close that he could feel the warmth of Jongin’s breath as he murmured with a sweet look of adoration, “thanks, hyung.”
And that was the exact moment Kyungsoo caught feelings.
“So you’ve still got it, huh?” Jongin’s voice beside him breaks through Kyungsoo’s reverie. Jongin is leaning against the wall, long legs stretching out casually before him while he waits his turn. At the other end of the table, Chanyeol and Baekhyun are bickering over whether Baek’s whiff counts as a shot or if there was ‘interference’ from someone walking past.
“Yeah, I ‘spose. I still like to play after work sometimes, to unwind.” Kyungsoo grabs a cube of chalk and fiddles with it, chalking up his cue more than probably is necessary. “Your gameplay looks more controlled,” he compliments. “Been playing a lot?”
Jongin hums noncommittally. “You know, here and there. When I’m feeling nostalgic.”
Baekhyun finally takes another shot and curses that he would’ve been better off accepting his first miss as opposed to the mess he created. Jongin steps up, measures out his move, and knocks in another ball, getting the cue ball to pull up nicely in position for his next shot.
“Slick backspin,” Kyungsoo notes.
Jongin grins and leans in to take another shot, not looking at him as he says, “I had the best teacher.”
He can feel the tips of his ears heat up and quickly heads to the jukebox to escape and put another song on.
Kyungsoo’s nerves are a mess. Jongin and Chanyeol win the first game. Dutifully, Baekhyun offers to buy the first round of drinks… and comes back with cheap wine.
Chanyeol makes a face as he sips his cabernet. “Oh God, this tastes…”
“Like that cheap boxed wine we used to buy? Yep, because it is,” Baekhyun sniggers, pointing to the simple ‘bar’ area of the hall. “And how fitting, because we’re reliving our college years here tonight!” He toasts the group, and they all clink glasses, throwing back the bittersweet drink.
They play a few more rounds of pool, mixing the teams up and throwing back wine bought by the losing team each time. The shots get more erratic, as do their giggles as they descend further into tipsyness. Once Jongin and Kyungsoo wind up on the same team, they destroy Chanyeol and Baek in a matter of three turns. With a wide grin, Jongin holds up a hand for a high five. Kyungsoo smiles and gives him an enthusiastic slap.
Without thinking about it, his hand follows all the way through the motion, until it swings back down by his side. And meets Jongin’s in the same fashion in a solid clap.
“Oh my God, do you remember the…” Kyungsoo puts his hand back up and they go through their old high five sequence in unison.
“ Up top
Down low
Side to side
Kim and Do ”
They dissolve into flustered laughter at the end. “We thought we were cool, didn’t we?” “Shit we were embarrassing .”
“Oh no, they’re syncing again,” Chanyeol bellows. “Secret handshakes and all.”
“Yeah, no more letting them team up,” Baekhyun agrees, stepping between the two of them and pushing Jongin over toward Chanyeol. Kyungsoo maintains eye contact with him, reveling in Jongin’s face scrunched in glee that he knows is reflected on his own face, still laughing at their former selves. “One more round, rematch of the first!”
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They leave the pool hall and head to a midnight matinee showing of the latest action film. Drunk action film watching was another favorite pastime of their crew. They couldn’t afford the booze prices at the theater back then. Hell, could barely afford going to the movies at all. So they’d sneak in flasks and occasionally press their luck and try to squeeze in an illegal ‘double feature’ by ducking into another theater to steal a second show once the first ended. The second show was always better than the first. (It was probably the drunkeness that made the difference.)
This time, they’re already fully buzzed. As they stand in line to buy their tickets, Kyungsoo sways into Jongin, bumping into his shoulder and having to reach out blindly to steady himself.
Jongin laughs and helps him right himself. “You alright there?” he asks, squeezing Kyungsoo’s hand reassuringly as he finds his footing again. Kyungsoo stares at their linked hands and his mind floats back.
It was ten minutes into the second movie when Kyungsoo put his arm on the shared armrest between him and Jongin without realizing the other was already using it.
Normally, he’d apologize and shrink back. But his flask was already fully drained and the liquor was in full effect. So he decidedly to sassily shove Jongin off the armrest instead.
A loud laugh rang out in the theater, getting a quick “SHHH!” from several surrounding theater-goers. Jongin clasped a free hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, and Kyungsoo smirked in triumph.
A few minutes later, Jongin countered and bumped Kyungsoo’s arm off when he wasn’t expecting it, hand knocking into his popcorn bowl and making it topple onto the floor. This set off another chorus of irritated “SHHH!!” echoing through the room, plus Yeol and Baekhyun peering around to look at them with question marks in their eyes.
“Sorry,” Kyungsoo mouthed to them, shrinking back a bit.
A moment later, Jongin leaned in close, nose brushing the inner shell of Kyungsoo’s ear to minimize the noise as he whispered, “my bad, I didn’t mean to ruin your snack.”
Kyungsoo sucked in a breath at the unexpected closeness, the intimacy of the touch, how soft Jongin’s skin felt as it caressed the edge of his ear when he withdrew. Shivers down his spine, Kyungsoo decided he’s allowed to match the motion, leaning in and letting his cheek brush against Jongin’s as he whispered back in his ear, “ ‘s fine. Let’s share, yeah?”
His body ablaze, skin hyper-sensitive, he could sense the warmth radiating off Jongin’s arm next to his on the armrest. Their pinky fingers brushed at roughly the halfway point of the movie. Neither moved away. Two scenes later, their pinkies entwined. Cautious shift, minute adjustment at a time, they gradually got to the point of fully holding hands just before the movie ended. The good guys on the screen detonated the bomb that blew away all the evil in the world, and Kyungsoo felt his heart bloom in the same dramatic fashion as their palms met and held together.
Five minutes later, the theater lights came up and Jongin hastily let go, standing to stretch and gab away with Chanyeol about the special effects.
“I heard they blew up fifty cars for this one, come on! It’ll be epic,” Yeol exclaims, trying to convince Baekhyun they should see the latest Fast & Furious franchise flick.
“Fine, fine. I’m not coherent enough to follow anything with a decent plot anyway,” he agrees.
They snag tickets and stumble into the theater, twenty minutes ahead of showtime. They take seats in the back right corner, for old times sake, and play a good-natured one-upping game.
“Biggest accomplishment since graduation,” Baek says, throwing out the first challenge. “Mine is somehow failing my way up to middle management in KB Financial.”
“You’re a manager? ” Jongin says with appropriate disbelief.
“As of last week.” Baekhyun produces a flask from inside his jacket and toasts it up high, passing it around for them all to partake.
“I sold a track to JYP,” Chanyeol brags.
Jongin looks suitably impressed, so Kyungsoo decides to knock him down a peg, leaning on Jongin’s arm to loudly murmur, “only a B-side for a boy group that’s post-enlistment but we let him pretend it’s for Twice in front of girls he wants to impress.”
Yeol waggles his eyebrows while Baekhyun pretends to sneeze and shouts, “shameless!” in lieu of ‘achoo.’
Jongin shares a snicker with Kyungsoo and turns the question on him. “What about you, Soo?”
He shrugs. “I went to Europe alone for a week.”
“You flew.” Jongin smiles.
Kyungsoo tries to hide his bashful smile by taking a big swig from Baek’s flask that’s being passed around. He feels his cheeks flush with warmth, from the alcohol and the fact that Jongin remembered his old phobia. Before the mood can get too sappy, he snarks, “Nah, took the long scenic train ride through Russia.”
Chanyeol laughs as he grabs for the flask, but Jongin just widens his sincere smile at Kyungsoo. “I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah, yeah, and you?”
“Uh… I don’t really have much, to be honest. I bought my own place last month?” he volunteers.
“Oh that’s too bad. Kyungsoo, you’ve missed out on a commission,” Baekhyun says, shoving him roughly in the shoulder. Boozed up, Baek’s push is harder than intended and knocks Kyungsoo into Jongin, making them topple one after the other, almost like bowling pins, onto the theater chairs.
Baekhyun helps them right themselves as he apologizes amid drunken giggles, clarifying, “Soo’s the top real estate agent at his office now. That should have been his brag.”
“Okay okay, next topic.” Kyungsoo shifts in his seat.
“Hottest chick you’ve banged since uni!” Chanyeol suggests, a touch too loud. A pair of girls sitting a few rows further down turn and give them dirty looks.
“You boob,” Kyungsoo grunts, swatting at him. But the guys are already pulling up Instagram to find their girl that fits the bill. Sigh.
To still keep some semblance of decency, they snap screenshots on their phones first, to keep the girls’ names out of the frame. Once everyone’s ready, they all put their phones face up in the middle to reveal them at the same time.
“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Kyungsoo deadpans while Jongin stifles a high pitched laugh. Baekhyun and Chanyeol have the same photo of a girl showing on their screens. The two jump into an intense conversation.
“ When!?”
“Like… a year ago?”
“Ah, I met her just a few months back. Did you date or...?”
“Naw, just a few hookups over like two weekends. You?”
“Similar story. She didn’t return my texts after the second time.”
“Same. Sad five, dude.”
Meanwhile, Kyungsoo tries not to overly scrutinize the girl on Jongin’s phone but fails. She’s got big, beautiful eyes turned upward to the camera, porcelain pure skin, and red lips formed into a light kissy face for the camera. Extremely pretty, although a bit of an Instawhore-ish vibe to the pic with her lips slightly parted. “She’s hot,” he remarks honestly, passing the phone back to Jongin.
“Yeah, a real drama queen, though. It didn’t last. Your girl looks sweet,” he compliments back, pulling Kyungsoo’s phone close to his face to get a better look. The girl has a pretty eyesmile and holds a typical V up next to her cheek as she gives a full grin to the camera. Her pearly white teeth and pink lipgloss offset her warm tan nicely.
“She was,” Kyungsoo agrees. A little too sweet, ultimately. Too accommodating and conciliatory, even in bed. He found himself wishing she had more fire, more passion, more like--
The moment they reached Kyungsoo’s apartment, their bodies crashed together. Kyungsoo pressed Jongin back against the door, slamming it shut with the force of the collision, and moved in close for an intense kiss, helped along by the tight grip Jongin had on his jacket’s collar, pulling him up and in so he couldn’t have escaped even if he’d wanted to. The grunts that echoed through the foyer once their tongues curled together would haunt Kyungsoo’s memory every subsequent evening.
After a few rough grinds of his hips against Jongin’s, Kyungsoo felt himself shoved back against the nearby wall and Jongin’s hands roughly working his zipper down. His head knocked back in pleasure as Jongin got the denim shoved low enough to wrap a hand around his dick and give a delicious squeeze. “Fuck,” he cursed out, grabbing Jongin’s face with both his hands and yanking him back in for an ardent kiss.
The grip was so tight, tugs so demanding, Kyungsoo felt his body alight with pleasure. He got close to orgasm much too quickly, in short order gasping into Jongin’s warm mouth and not able to keep his lips moving in a proper kiss. He felt Jongin’s lips twist into a knowing smirk and opened his eyes, to witness a prideful glimmer in Jongin’s beautiful irises, moonlight from the window giving just enough visibility to enjoy the lust all over his face. Kyungsoo dropped a hand from Jongin’s neck to grip his wrist and halt the intense handjob. “Wait,” he rasped out, pawing blindly at Jongin until he found the button on his pants.
They fell all the way to his ankles once undone, and still in his briefs, Jongin surged forward, thrusting his hard cock roughly against Kyungsoo’s. They shuddered together as their mouths met again, hands each finding their way around the other’s hips while snapping forward, the desperate need to grind harder, further, into each other. Eventually, Kyungsoo pulled the briefs down to wrap his hand around Jongin’s cock and feel the smooth shaft eagerly thrust forward.
Jongin mirrored his move, gripping Kyungsoo’s dick once more and letting his thumb brush against the cockhead, making him leak at the tip and swirling through the precum as Kyungsoo moaned. When Kyungsoo returned the favor, Jongin grunted out a string of curses, and then the race to their finish was on. “Together?” “Yeah.”
Kyungsoo felt Jongin’s dick flex tightly, and flushed with pride that he could do that, could work Jongin up so well and so quickly. “Almost, almost, wait for me, Jongin-ah.”
A spine-tingling whimper and then the ecstasy erupted, ropes of come spilling over each other’s hands and mixing together in a warm mess.
Once they caught their breaths, Jongin knocked his forehead into Kyungsoo’s and teased, “well, I’m glad I came over for ‘coffee.’”
Great, now Kyungsoo has a half-chub in his pants. Thankfully, the theater lights blink off as the opening trailers start to play in that suddenly-too-loud volume that movie theaters always pull once it’s showtime. The guys all put their phones away and settle in for a mindless blur of cars, guns, and explosions for the next two hours. Kyungsoo keeps his focus 90% on the screen in front of him, and 10% on the dimly lit profile of Jongin’s face just to the left of his.
Until he feels Jongin’s foot bump into his. “Oh, sorry,” Jongin whispers.
Kyungsoo starts to shuffle his foot out of the way, but changes his mind. And knocks back into Jongin’s instead.
This could go one of two ways. Either one of them walks away with a dead leg punch, or it’ll turn into a coyer game of footsie.
Kyungsoo isn’t sure which would bruise more tomorrow.
He can almost feel Jongin deep in thought next to him, weighing the options. Finally, Jongin takes his leg and hooks it over Kyungsoo’s left knee.
It’s passing the buck. Ball is squarely back in Kyungsoo’s court now. He can ignore it, shove him off, or up the ante.
It’s been six years and who knows how many more may pass before he sees Jongin again. He lets his hand settle north of Jongin’s knee and his fingers curl along his inner thigh. It’s meatier than he remembers.
But the way Jongin makes a soft noise and tucks into his side a little more, shoulders rubbing together, that’s familiar. Kyungsoo takes another long drag from the flask and passes it to Jongin.
After that first night, ‘coffee’ at Kyungsoo’s happened about every other time their crew went out drinking. Not so regular that it was expected, but often enough to be considered… normal. Perhaps the most bizarre part was how casually they’d discuss it in front of Chan and Baekhyun.
“Wanna get coffee and sober up at your place?” Jongin would ask nonchalantly.
Kyungsoo’d shrug. “Sure.”
Or other times, Kyungsoo would initiate. “I’m gonna go home, coffee, and crash. You want to come, Jongin?”
Their friends thought their caffeine at 2am habit was weird only because they couldn’t imagine sleeping after having coffee that late. Little did they know, these encounters always left them fully drained and exhausted.
The first few times were strictly handjobs. Then one time, Kyungsoo got a little over eager, thrusting off the wall and so hard into Jongin’s lubed up hand that he slipped and his dick landed between Jongin’s bare thighs instead. Which led to thigh fucking that night. Face to face for Kyungsoo, who couldn’t resist marking up Jongin’s neck and pecs as he unraveled, painting tan thighs white with his release. Jongin decided to turn him around and thigh fuck him from behind, grabbing at his ass and gradually sliding higher, his shaft catching on the lower swell of Kyungsoo’s crevice as he pistoned his cockhead between slicked up thighs over and over. The wet and dirty sounds had Kyungsoo pounding a fist into the wall, trying not to beg for it.
Jongin brought condoms the next time. And every time thereafter, until the night in January when the crew went to a bar to celebrate Kyungsoo turning twenty-two.
The place was loud, with a headache inducing haze of smoke and neon lights, but Kyungsoo couldn’t leave early. Not if he wanted Jongin to come home with him without it looking obvious to the others. And God, did he want Jongin to come home with him that night. Jongin was dolled up with kohl eyeliner, upswept hair, and even small silver hoops in one ear. When the guys had teased him, ‘looking to get laid tonight?’, he’d just shrugged and pointed out the others polished up more than usual for the occasion; for Kyungsoo, that only meant contacts instead of glasses and grabbing his brown leather jacket rather than his denim one, but it was true.
They’d been slamming shots for awhile when Kyungsoo started getting antsy to leave. Too many strangers stumbling by to help them ‘celebrate’ or chat up a particular person that struck their fancy. Chanyeol had already left their booth to get cozy with some chick who was a fellow aspiring artist. There were so many eyes on Jongin, so many attempts by girls already to make conversation. Luckily, none had stuck around long enough to succeed, yet, but it felt like only a matter of time.
“What do you want for your birthday, hyunnngg?” Jongin asked, waggling a tenth shot in front of Kyungsoo’s face. It disrupted his glare at a girl across the way who kept shortening her skirt and checking to see if Jongin noticed yet.
“To come inside you,” he drawled in his drunken stupor, taking the shot and tipping it back against his lips in one fluid motion.
Jongin sniggered and shushed him because Baekhyun was still at their table, albeit distracted by a flirty waitress at the moment. Delicately, he took the shot glass back from Kyungsoo’s fingertips and leaned in close to whisper. “‘Kay. If I get to return the favor in two days.” Quid pro quo, as always between them.
An hour later, Jongin was face down, ass up on Kyungsoo’s sofa. With his face turned to the side, contorted in sweaty pleasure, Jongin’s eyeliner smudged all over the sofa cushion as he rasped out how good it was raw like this. Kyungsoo came so hard his load couldn’t even fit inside Jongin’s ass, spilling out and dribbling down his asscheeks and thighs as Kyungsoo kept fucking him through what felt like his longest orgasm ever.
Two nights later, Kyungsoo was on his back, gripping the armrest of the sofa above his head, and groaning out curses. His knees were practically touching his ears as Jongin pressed his legs back and jackhammered into him, seemingly mesmerized at watching his cock fuck in and out of Kyungsoo’s hole with nothing separating bare skin from skin. The warm, wet sensation of Jongin emptying into him tipped Kyungsoo over the edge, coming untouched, his cock splattering seed all over his own chest and chin.
They didn’t bother with rubbers after that.
“Do y’all need anything?”
The movie was over. Jongin had carefully pulled his leg back off of Kyungsoo’s just before the credits started to roll, and all of them were stretching in their seats from an hour and a half of physical inactivity. As they stumbled out of the theater, the flask made one last round through them, and Kyungsoo felt the last drops of the container hit his tongue. They timed the boozing well, imbibing just enough throughout the show to keep their buzz continually rolling.
Chanyeol jerked his thumb toward the concessions counter. “I’m gonna splurge for nachos before the second feature and can get snacks for anyone else who wants them.”
“Y’all still steal a second show??” Jongin snorts in disbelief.
“Not usually but I think the reunion requires it, no?”
“Beer me and get popcorn,” Baekhyun chirps, always quick to jump on a chance to mooch.
“Ah, actually…” Jongin checks his phone and tucks it back in his pocket. “It’s pretty late and I do have that meeting tomorrow. I don’t think I can stay for another.”
Oh. Kyungsoo stares at his shoes and decides to reach down and tie one that doesn’t need retying. He swallows the lump of disappointment in his throat.
“Awww, look at our little Jonginnie! All grown up and responsible ,” Baekhyun coos, reaching out and pinching Jongin’s cheek.
“Well it was so good to see you, man!” Chanyeol bounces over and gives Jongin a hug. “Let’s not let another six years go before doing again. Oh, wait wait, you can’t leave until we get a pic. Come on, Soo, stand up. Everyone in here!” He pulls out his phone and uses his ridiculously long arms to set up a good group selfie.
Though he’s feeling the harsh sting of sadness, amplified by the tipsiness, Kyungsoo does his best to put on a brave face and huddles in with his friends. He watches on Chanyeol’s screen as Jongin slings an arm around his shoulder and moves in closer to fit his face between Kyungsoo and Baek’s. With a tight-lipped smile, Kyungsoo poses for the picture and tries not to relish the weight of Jongin’s side pressed against him.
A few snaps of the camera, and then they’re all stepping away. Giving each other space again.
Kyungsoo clears his throat. He should say something kind as a goodbye, probably. Should ‘wish him the best with everything’ or some shit. But the words aren’t coming.
Just heavy silence.
“Ah, I’m not sure how to get to my hotel from here. Kyungsoo, can you help me find it?” Jongin asks, nose buried in his phone, trying to pull up an address. “Streets are weird at night.”
“Oh God, that’s especially true in Busan. And when you’re drunk,” Baekhyun giggles. “You should make sure he gets there safely, Soo.”
“Only if you’re okay with that,” Jongin adds. He’s looking him right in the eye now. Meaningfully. Subtext written all over his face. “If you’d rather stay and catch the second show, that’s f--”
“No, I’ll walk you there,” Kyungsoo quickly interrupts, having caught on. “Don’t want you getting mugged or something in our hometown.”
“We’d feel like horrible hosts,” Baek agrees. “Take care and let’s do this again sometime, yeah? Don’t let it take six more years!” He hugs Jongin and then pats Kyungsoo on the shoulder. “See you later this week for lunch?”
“Yeah. Say goodnight to Yeol for me.”
And then Baekhyun’s gone and it’s just the two of them.
Kyungsoo gestures toward the exit of the theater, and they start walking out onto the streets. “So… is it uptown or downtown?”
“Downtown.”
“Okay, should be walking distance then. Which hotel is it? Cause if it’s by the channel, we should go right but if it’s--”
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin grabs his wrist to stop him from wandering too far ahead. “You know I don’t actually need your help to find it, right?”
Blood pumps rapidly through Kyungsoo’s body, pulsing in his ears. He feels himself flush. With anticipation. With that good, warm feeling of being wanted. He rubs the back of his neck, feeling the heat radiate off it. “I mean, you were pretty hapless with directions back in college,” he teases, looking sideways at Jongin.
Jongin ducks his head and laughs at himself briefly. “Yeah, I suppose I was. But I’m better now. I just…” The words hang in the night air, giving a little too much space for Kyungsoo’s mind to fill in the blank. Too much space for hope.
I just really missed you.
I just wanted a little more time with you.
I just always wanted to tell you how I feel.
Jongin takes a step closer, hand still on Kyungsoo’s wrist. The pad of his thumb slides down the center of Kyungsoo’s palm, making him tremble with a sudden rush of endorphins. “...am thinking how good coffee would taste right now.”
Kyungsoo lets out a soundless ha, tries to hide the sharp sting of yearning behind a mouth twisted in amusement of their longheld inside joke. Familiar territory, that’s where they’re headed. He stuffs his sentimentality down into the deepest recesses of his soul, packages the pain to deal with another day, and looks at Jongin with an alluring stare. “Well let’s get to that hotel room then.”
They wind through the streets, jaywalking across mostly deserted roads at this hour of the night. Kyungsoo has to yank Jongin out of the path of a reckless cab once, anticipating it wouldn’t stop because that’s how Busan drivers roll. It should’ve scared them, but the liquor in their systems keeps them laughing and hurrying forth to the hotel. Alcohol, it seems, kept them from being scared of lots of things they ought to fear.
The hotel lobby is elegant, smartly decorated with sleek and modern furniture. As they wait by the gold elevators, Kyungsoo remarks, “Nice place. What are you in town for again?”
“Ad pitch for a client. I did their art design for another product, so they invited me for an in-person look at a new one they want to launch,” Jongin says disinterestedly as they step into the elevator car that arrived.
“That’s coo-” Kyungsoo’s words are cut off by Jongin’s lips descending on his in a passionate clash the moment the elevator doors close.
Kissing Jongin was always like a dream. Feeling the rub of thick lips against his own, perpetually eager and excited, was an addicting high. Kyungsoo never felt more desired than when Jongin’s mouth was on his, pressing, pulling, begging for more of what Kyungsoo had to offer. It was exhilarating.
Kyungsoo slides a hand along the back of Jongin’s neck and takes advantage of his newer long hair by curling fingers into the soft ones at his nape, anchoring him tight to better taste him. Jongin tastes of soju and the cheap box wine from earlier, but that’s perfect. He tastes just like winter of 2013 and the final days of college.
Like Kyungsoo’s favorite days of his life.
When the elevator doors ping open, they break briefly enough to stumble down the hallway to Jongin’s room. Once inside, it’s like muscle memory, their bodies taking over and going through the once-familiar dance they’d do in Kyungsoo’s foyer. Shoulders slammed back against walls from the forceful passion, of trying to get closer, ever closer, bodies smothered together.
Jongin’s frame is bigger now, no longer the lankier form of his 20-year-old self. The weight of his broader chest pushing Kyungsoo into the wall as he sucks on the sensitive spot beneath his ear has Kyungsoo almost suffocating. He loves it.
Jongin grinds against him a few times, providing delicious friction that sparks Kyungsoo’s hips to life, and with a firm buck forward, they crash into the opposite wall. The move surprises Jongin a little, arms flying back against the wall slightly up in the air as if in surrender and fuck if that doesn’t turn Kyungsoo on even further. It’s a good shock, given how Jongin’s eyes widen and then instantly hood as a lustful smile blossoms. Like maybe he wasn’t sure if Kyungsoo would go as aggressive now as he did back then.
Kyungsoo’s determined not to disappoint.
He mashes their mouths together, licking and nipping at Jongin’s lower lip. There’s a faint trace of stubble, another reminder that they’re older and this isn’t a drunken fever dream of a past encounter. College Jongin never grew a five-o’clock shadow within a day. Mid-twenties Jongin is pumped full of testosterone in the best ways, Kyungsoo thinks, as he trails kisses down Jongin’s chin and onto his neck, enjoying the light prickle on his lips that reminds him he’s with a man, the one and only he’s ever indulged in. A rush of urgency, of thick need , rolls through him, and Kyungsoo quickly removes the soft blue sweater that’s in the way so he can nip at Jongin’s chiseled pecs underneath.
“Fuck,” he mumbles against Jongin’s midline, relishing the ridges of muscle he feels beneath his tongue. He licks along the lower edge of Jongin’s firm tit before mouthing up to suck on his hardened nub.
Jongin makes the best noises, raspy moans spilling from his mouth as he grabs at Kyungsoo’s jacket and button-down, shedding the clothes onto the floor. He yanks Kyungsoo’s head back with a tight grip in his hair to brush their lips together again, and starts walking him backward. “Bed,” he explains, mid-raunchy kiss.
Kyungsoo’s eyes pop open. This… this is different. They always hooked up in the foyer, or the sofa just a few steps away in the living room. They never went all the way to his bedroom. Then again, this is a hotel, and while it has a small sitting area and loveseat, the bed’s really no further inside. He lets Jongin walk him back to the edge of the bed and falls into the mattress, Jongin’s bare chest flush with his all the while.
It feels more intimate like this, making out against soft bedsheets rather than the cheap, scratchy fabric of couch cushions. Even their kisses seem to soften a bit, as if in response to the luxe down comforter, with lighter presses and longer drags of lips and tongues. Oh, oh… Kyungsoo could drown in this, could sink down deep into the mattress clutched to Jongin, never to emerge again, and it would be heaven.
But then Jongin is scrambling off of him and working to undo Kyungsoo’s slacks, tugging them off and grabbing at his boxer-brief covered thighs with greedy hands. Kyungsoo reciprocates, working Jongin’s pants off and salivating over how much he looks like a fucking underwear model, a full 8-pack and semi-shaved off happy trail, fuck. He reaches out to stroke the line where the wispy hairs should be, enjoying Jongin’s shiver, until he reaches the waistband of the brief and stills, not sure what’s next.
He sure as hell didn’t bring supplies.
Jongin reaches over to the nightstand drawer, however, and pulls out a bottle of lube and a pack of condoms. It’s enough to make Kyungsoo release a tipsy laugh.
“I’m pretty sure that’s not standard issue with the room. Can you imagine, the maids restocking shampoo and conditioner and oh yeah, more lube for Suite 12!” They both chortle.
“Yeah, maybe I unpacked earlier,” Jongin says, tossing the materials on the bed and pulling Kyungsoo down next to him.
His gut twists. Jongin was prepared to fuck around with someone but couldn’t have known for sure Kyungsoo would even be in town before he packed. Is he just a stand-in for someone else who couldn’t make the trip, or a random hook-up Jongin hoped to find at a bar tonight, or-
“You wanna go first?” Jongin pulls him out of his head by nuzzling along the length of Kyungsoo’s clothed cock.
“Yeah, okay,” he breathes out, dick jerking on its own accord to tap against Jongin’s cheek as he keeps hovering around the base, lightly mouthing at it through the boxer briefs.
As dirty as they’ve fucked, they’ve never done oral for some reason. Maybe hang-ups on what it might mean. Kyungsoo shoves all these thoughts aside as he rolls the two of them over. He focuses on how gorgeous Jongin looks, tan skin against white sheets, hair fanned out around him and looking up at Kyungsoo with a sexy grin on his face.
He preps Jongin well, until Jongin’s breath is hitching from the three fingers curling lightly over his prostate and he’s silently begging for cock with the way his ass pushes back. Kyungsoo sheathes up and pushes in slowly, closing his eyes from how good the tightness feels around his length. Fuck, he’s so tight, even with the generous amount of lube and prep. Jongin sighs out in pleasure and eggs him on by wordlessly pawing at Kyungsoo’s waist, eventually reaching around to grab a handful of ass and pull him forward, deeper inside of him.
They gasp into each other’s mouths as Kyungsoo’s dick plunges in fully, and Kyungsoo works his lips and tongue against Jongin’s, hot and heavy to distract him from the burn.
He keeps a gentle pace as long as he can manage, enjoying the slow give of Jongin’s body accommodating his fat cock better with each languid snap of his hips. Maybe it’s a little too gentle, because Jongin is rasping out between hitched breaths, “I can, I can take it.” Like he’s trying to convince himself and Kyungsoo at the same time. Ever impatient, just like the old days, when Jongin would sink himself down on Kyungsoo’s cock too soon and pretend he didn’t have a slight limp the next day.
He feels fingertips dig into his hips, goading him forth harder, and Kyungsoo has never been able to deny Jongin anything he wants. Kyungsoo runs a hand along the outside of Jongin’s thigh until he finds the crook of his knee, using it as leverage to thrust hard up into him, hard enough to jolt his lower back off the bed. The way Jongin cries out in pleasure, a wanton “ yes, yes,” elicits another sharp thrust from Kyungsoo’s all-too-willing hips, building up a cadence in time with Jongin’s vocal encouragements.
He’s getting close, real close. Staring at Jongin falling apart beneath him, tan fingers pulling on his own hair as he moans from the dicking he’s getting, is not helping. Kyungsoo feels everything winding tighter and reaches for Jongin’s bobbing cock to help him get there with him.
But Jongin swats his hand away when Kyungsoo touches his weeping tip, even rolling onto his side and tucking his legs up almost as if to hide it. This new angle sets both of them off cursing, as Jongin’s hole tightens further around Kyungsoo’s heavy cock, so thick and full and ready. Kyungsoo can no longer hold back, hips slamming into Jongin’s ass with reckless abandon now. He climaxes with a grunt that rips from his throat and echoes off the room’s walls.
A few more shallow pumps, and Kyungsoo collapses forward, chest heaving. He’s sweaty, and as he checks on Jongin, sees that he is, too, biting his lower lip in concentration. Looking down, he notices Jongin’s hand is gripped around the base of his still hard cock.
“You didn’t come,” Kyungsoo mumbles in his post-orgasm haze.
“Yeah, thanks for making that near impossible,” Jongin says with a gasp. “Fuck, do you know how hard it was to stop it?” He shifts beneath Kyungsoo, and they both moan a little as he slips out of Jongin’s ass.
With Kyungsoo now flat on his back, Jongin moves to nuzzle along his jaw, nipping lightly at the edge before mumbling in his ear. “I still really want to fuck you. Can I?”
Kyungsoo nods, too winded to really talk. He lays there, useless as he recovers. Jongin starts kissing down his neck, over his chest, tonguing at Kyungsoo’s nipple. He shivers with oversensitivity and Jongin mumbles an apology.
“I’ll go slow, give you some time,” Jongin says, switching back to clothed mouth kisses. His thick lips drag lazily all over Kyungsoo’s body, brushing against his stomach, kissing along his thighs, even nipping at his calves. The slow bodyworship is almost torture with the way it makes Kyungsoo’s heart keen from the faux intimacy.
With Kyungsoo still boneless from his climax, he’s fully pliant for Jongin. Jongin spreads Kyungsoo’s legs for him and starts rubbing light, lubed circles around the outside of his rim. Kyungsoo sighs contentedly at the sensation of Jongin softening him up, sucking kisses on his thigh and rubbing over his hole with the flats of two fingers now, teasing at the rim with the tips when they graze over.
Jongin’s hard dick pokes into the plushness of Kyungsoo’s ass as he continues working him up. Kyungsoo gasps at the reminder of how aroused Jongin still is, how much he wants Kyungsoo, which is only further confirmed by the fact that Jongin’s basically humping his right asscheek at the moment to take the edge off while he’s waiting for Kyungsoo to be ready to really take him.
“Go ahead,” Kyungsoo says, shifting his hips so Jongin’s cockhead bumps into his rim.
“ FUCK, ” Jongin groans, dick pressing in minutely. “You sure?”
Kyungsoo nods, cock starting to slowly rise to half mast now. “‘s fine. You can stretch me out with your dick.”
Jongin curses and eases himself into Kyungsoo, pressing the lube inside his walls with his cock and--
Oh. It’s then Kyungsoo realizes he didn’t make him use a rubber. Well, hooking up with Jongin tonight is already irresponsible enough to his heart. He decides his body may as well join the bad decision-making.
And holy shit, does it feel amazing to have Jongin, bare, buried inside of him. So hot, so heavy , Jongin’s cock sits inside, still except for an occasional twitch and pulse of precum that makes Kyungsoo gasp.
Jongin groans and mouths mindlessly at Kyungsoo’s chest, keeping his cock warm deep inside him. Within another minute or so, Kyungsoo is rotating his hips, stretching himself with Jongin’s cock like he said he would.
He’s fully hard again, and Jongin notices.
Jongin pulls him up so he’s seated on Jongin’s lap now, and kisses his way back to Kyungsoo’s mouth. The makeout is slow and deep, and it takes Kyungsoo a little by surprise that Jongin’s still not fucking him proper.
Hands sculpt their way down Kyungsoo’s back until they curl over the swells of his ass, and then he feels it. Jongin lifts him up, just an inch or so, and drops him back down on his cock.
“Ohhh,” Kyungsoo moans, wrapping his arms around Jongin’s shoulders to help balance himself and not just fall back in bliss. Jongin’s wet cockhead is angled perfectly inside him to push right against his prostate.
Jongin’s lifts and drops him again and again, in a dulcet rhythm that lets each stroke in him reach a full arc of pleasure before repeating it.
“God, you feel good,” Jongin says, feasting on the tight cord of Kyungsoo’s neck that stands out prominently from the way he’s gasping in ecstasy with his head lolled to the side.
Foggy with pleasure, Kyungsoo is useless beyond tensing his walls from time to time to help milk Jongin’s cock as he undulates up and down. It seems to be plenty enough for Jongin, whose grunts get increasingly animalistic. With his knees tucked under, Jongin is able to start adding his own thrusts up into Kyungsoo as his hips drop down, and the combination sends both of them into a gradual frenzy.
Bruising grips, in Jongin’s hair and on Kyungsoo’s hips, press and pull and everything speeds recklessly toward their finish.
Feeling Jongin’s warm come spill inside him in several long drags is euphoric. As the mess starts slipping out of his hole with the subsequent fucks in, Kyungsoo feels his own cock twitch and release everything he has left, dribbling out onto both their stomachs as they crash together a few more desperate times before their bodies still and the only sounds remaining are their ragged breaths.
Jongin lays him back on the bed and pulls out, stumbling over to the bathroom for a towel. Kyungsoo let’s himself ride the high of getting off a second time, of getting Jongin off and having his seed inside him. He basks in it all, the warmth, the adrenaline. It feels so good, so special, almost like he accomplished something wonderful. He holds tight to that delightful buzz, of feeling whole.
“Here ya go.” A white towel comes flying in and lands right on Kyungsoo’s face. Jongin’s chuckle flies through the air with it.
Kyungsoo laughs a little too, grateful that Jongin’s aim was good. The towel provides cover as a tear slips out unbidden.
Their time is almost up.
Kyungsoo wipes himself off, trying not to think too much about tomorrow, to just focus on these final moments of reunion and be grateful he could relive the past once more.
“You still smoke? The room’s non-smoking but there’s a balcony if you need it,” Jongin offers, pointing to the double patio doors at the back of the room.
Kyungsoo doesn’t smoke. Never really smoked, but he’d always had a cigarette after sex with Jongin back then. He needed something to occupy his lips, so they wouldn’t try to keep kissing Jongin without the excuse of foreplay. Or betray his better senses and confess something that could ruin everything.
Like his mouth still wants to do right now.
They never kissed or cuddled afterward. Just purposeful, practical clean up. Kyungsoo would stare, watching Jongin get dressed again. Jongin would wave and Kyungsoo would wave back as he left the apartment, then collapse back on the couch or face first on his bed and let the exhaustion overwhelm him so he wouldn’t have to confront the reality that he was fuck buddies with a guy he was actually, gradually, in love with.
This time, it’s Kyungsoo’s turn to leave. He should go. But the exhaustion is strong. He’s conditioned to stay put after sex, always did with his ex-girlfriends, too. He tries to sit up and look for his underwear at least.
“Ah, I hadn’t bottomed in forever,” Jongin says, out of the blue, adjusting some sweatpants gingerly on his waist.
“Me neither,” Kyungsoo replies so that he’s not rude. Conversation after the deed was also no go back then, but Jongin is apparently feeling at ease chatting tonight, continuing as he takes the towels back to the bathroom.
“Have you been with other men since college?” The question comes out as nonchalantly as asking the time or the weather.
This is not a conversation Kyungsoo is emotionally equipped to have right now. He silently shakes his head no and looks for his pants. He needs to leave, and leave fast, now.
“I tried a few clubs, had a few hookups years back, but it wasn’t really my scene. Never felt quite right,” Jongin continues rambling.
Kyungsoo really does not want to be thinking about Jongin having trysts with random men in seedy gay nightclub bathrooms, of fucking them into walls or bending over for strangers for thrills. Maybe this is some kind of karmic justice for him moving too slowly, not disappearing fast enough for Jongin’s liking after they finished. He jams a leg into his pants with new urgency, trying to dress faster.
“Well I should let you get some sleep,” he mumbles, avoiding looking at Jongin, who is standing in the doorway to the bathroom, watching him. “Since you have work tomorrow and all.” Kyungsoo’s wallet is missing. Where did it go, why did it have to fall out, he doesn’t have time for this. He can tell he’s about one minute from a meltdown, the alcohol having worn off and the carefree mood of the evening with it. He looks through the covers, under the bed, and finally spots his wallet. He stuffs it into his pocket, eyes still down and tries to muster up a weak smile and goodbye.
“It was always real for you, wasn’t it.”
Jongin speaks softly, as if it’s both a sudden musing but also a statement of fact. The words cut through Kyungsoo’s chest like a knife. All the air leaves his lungs. He finally raises his eyes to meet Jongin’s, which are observing him closely, like they’re staring into his soul, with a hint of sympathy. Kyungsoo opens his mouth to answer, but no words come out. He averts his eyes as a single tear rolls down his cheek, and replies:
“It never was for you, was it.”
He was going to tell him. He knew it was stupid and likely to fail, but he had to try. A week earlier, Kyungsoo had bought one of those cheesy paper bear confession kits, making an origami bear holding a heart that says ‘I like you beary much’ on it. He was graduating tomorrow, and if Jongin wanted to just take it as a sarcastic thing to laugh at, Kyungsoo could manage laughing with him and pretend it was a joke. Maybe even throw in a wink and pass it off as a cute ‘bye, fuckbuddy’ thing before he left to go back to Busan to start his new job.
But in case Jongin took it seriously, he’d make his proposition. He’d confess that he really did like him, and even though long distance shit is hard, maybe they could just see what happens. Try cam sex and stuff, could be exciting. And just… see. If maybe dating could work out with them. Because Kyungsoo had realized nothing made him happier than spending time with Jongin.
He was ready, he was. He jogged to the pizzeria to meet up with the crew for lunch, the paper bear tucked in his jean jacket pocket. He arrived last, and the other three were already toasting, cups clanking together.
“Gee, thanks for waiting for me to celebrate our graduation, asswipes,” he teased, sticking his tongue out at Baekhyun.
“Pipe down, it’s not a graduation toast. This is for Jongin,” Baekhyun says.
“Dumbass finally got a date, I can’t believe,” Chanyeol hoots.
Kyungsoo’s stomach sinks, but he quickly masks it with a surprised face and raised eyebrows. “Oh?”
“A girl in our seminar class asked him out today. They’re going to some new art gallery next week, isn’t that sweet?” Yeol pokes at Jongin’s face and makes kissy noises.
“Is she hot?” Baek asks between bites of pizza.
Jongin smiles into his drink. “Of course, why do you think I said yes.”
Chanyeol elbows him in the shoulder, causing Jongin to spill mid-sip, and the table turns into a ruckus of them throwing napkins around.
Kyungsoo helps mop up the mess in the middle. His fingers bump into Jongin’s, and their eyes meet. Jongin grins and says, “thanks, hyung.” He’s happy. Happy and oblivious to how this news is affecting Kyungsoo.
“Sure.” Kyungsoo gathers up the wet napkins from the table and takes them to the trash, throwing the paper bear in with them.
“Kyungsoo, I didn’t realize.” Jongin’s voice is small and tender.
“I know.” Kyungsoo puts his shoes on, more than ready to leave now. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“I did wonder, every once in awhile, what it would be like to actually, like, date you,” Jongin speaks quickly, walking over and getting between Kyungsoo and the exit.
“You don’t have to lie to me now about how you felt six years ago, Jongin. Like I said, it’s fine,” Kyungsoo tries to step past him.
“I’m not lying. I was just, dumb. And horny. And didn’t really think you would be okay with being out. I don’t know, I thought we were both keeping the same secret, being attracted to guys. I didn’t know you had feelings for me, I swear. I’m sorry that-”
“Don’t apologize.” Fuck, he’s gonna cry if his feelings for Jongin start making him feel sorry . Jesus he just wants to leave and erase this part of the night from history, to go back to when they were both happy and sated and just be satisfied with what they had.
“I should’ve talked to you before accepting a date. I owed you at least that.” Jongin takes Kyungsoo’s hand in his and squeezes it. “Like, it didn’t hit me until I was walking her home and she tried to kiss me and I dodged it without even thinking. Like my body... felt like it’d be cheating or something. Which on one level was ridiculous, but I felt so shitty about the whole thing. I wanted to talk to you about it but you had already left Seoul and it felt like a weird thing to text and… I wasn’t sure if I was overreacting or in hindsight reimagining what we really had. You always seemed so, casual. About it all. Even tonight.”
It’s true. That’s his own fault. Kyungsoo purposefully projected that, in all their encounters. He goes to pick at a cuticle, out of nervous habit, and realizes Jongin’s still holding his hand. Fingers intertwined, palms pressed together. Just like the first time in the movie theater, before any of the fooling around. And his heart still flares at the feeling, the pure feeling of affection.
Slowly, he looks up at Jongin sincerely and admits, “It wasn’t casual. It was and is the most serious thing I’ve ever done, falling for you.”
Jongin takes a sharp breath, looking back at Kyungsoo in wonder. “That’s… wow. I--” He licks over his lips, cheeks flushing softly. Like he’s overwhelmed by the honest adoration Kyungsoo is finally allowing to show through, in the way Kyungsoo’s eyes roam over his face, drinking in his features.
It feels good, to stare openly. To take note of the little things in a long, unhurried look rather than a furtive glance. To admire details like Jongin’s dimple or the faint mole in his upper lip.
Jongin takes a step closer. “I’ve missed you,” he says gently, stroking over the back of Kyungsoo’s hand with his thumb. “A lot.”
“Yeah?” It’s not the same as Kyungsoo’s feelings, but that’s fine. It’s honest and inviting and hopeful.
“Yeah. And I’d really like to kiss you right now, if that’s okay.” Jongin thumbs along the edge of Kyungsoo’s cheek, moving in slowly, carefully.
Their lips meet in a light, closed mouth kiss, and hold together a few seconds before breaking apart. They’ve kissed a lot, both tonight and six years ago, but never like this. Like something very fragile and beautiful was at stake.
Jongin leans his forehead against Kyungsoo’s at the end of what feels like their first real kiss. Eyes closed, warm breath fanning against Kyungsoo’s cheek, Jongin murmurs, “Give me a chance, Soo.”
“What do you mean?” He swallows thickly, somewhat intoxicated by the way Jongin holds onto his waist now with soft hands.
“A chance to catch up. You ran ahead with your feelings and didn’t tell me. I wanna get there, too.” He kisses Kyungsoo again, all tender and sweet. “I feel like I can.”
Kyungsoo’s heart swoons from his words. “You live in Seoul,” Kyungsoo reminds him, despite the galloping thrum of hope coursing through his veins. “This is probably a bad idea.”
“Not trying it out sounds worse,” Jongin counters, kissing him again and pulling a contented sigh from Kyungsoo’s lips. No argument there.
“I’ve never told the guys,” Kyungsoo admits.
“I can text them right now. Their movie is probably just ending. ‘Hi, we’re bi. With each other. Hope that’s cool.’”
Kyungsoo snorts at his joke, shaking his head as they break apart and give each other a little space.
“But seriously, we don’t have to say anything unless you’re comfortable.”
Kyungsoo nods and glances at the clock. It’s 3am. “I should-”
“Stay.” Jongin has yet to let go of his hand. “Spend the night.”
Ducking his head with a pleased smile, Kyungsoo says, “alright.” When he looks back up, Jongin is grinning widely, matching him in mirth. Kyungsoo teases, “But just for the record, we’re not fucking again.”
Jongin laughs and tugs him into the bed with a hug. “Okay, deal. No sex, I promise. Even if you beg me for it in an hour.”
Kyungsoo whops him in the side as they both laugh. “Me? You’re the one who literally got on your knees in that McDonald’s that one time to plead that we skip out early to fuck, remember?”
“Okay but that was after like a two week dry spell because of midterms! God, we had been cramming in the library for days on end, dealing with that one kid who always brought tuna and anchovies with snacks.”
“Oh gross, stop talking about it. I can still smell it,” Kyungsoo laughs and fake gags.
Jongin grins and switches topics. “What about the time you wouldn’t leave the arcade until you beat that claw machine you insisted was broken?”
“It was broken.”
“You were so mad, you fucked angry that night.”
They spend the next few hours reminiscing over the old nights spent together, until they’re falling asleep in each other’s arms as the sun rises over the Yellow Sea. Kyungsoo had always wondered what it would be like, to see Jongin in the first light of day, and now he finally knows:
He’s more radiant than the dawn itself.