Chapter Text
October 11, 2019.
Niall stood in the doorway of Liam, Louis and Harry’s flat. It was getting colder by the day, and soon snow would fall from the sky in tiny flakes. The flat was quite big, with 2 bathrooms, a kitchen that could fit 3 people at once, a huge lounge room and 4 bedrooms. Only 2 or 3 ever got used at one time, though.
The rest of the boys, they were all in a relationship together. Except for Zayn. When he left the band things got a bit ugly, a bit awkward. But they worked their differences out and now hang out a whole lot more, almost like old times. He’s not into guys or poly relationships like Liam, Harry and Louis but he understands and that’s all the boys can ask for. It wasn’t long after Zayn left that the three began to talk in a more personal, romantic tone than usual. Niall had yet to come out and was still figuring himself out, so he decided to find himself while they found each other.
In the flat the 3 boys were usually split into one or two rooms at night, leaving 2 rooms empty for guests. Sometimes someone needed space and that meant a night on their own, and sometimes someone needed extra support so the three would clamber in together. Niall wasn't a part of that, but he fully supported them. He lived with them a while ago, but moved out around 9 months ago, in with his boyfriend.
The thing was, the rest of the boys loved him like they loved each other. But Niall didn't know it. And Niall loved them like Winnie the Pooh loves honey. But they didn't know it. And they weren't about to ask Niall into the relationship (although they would've loved to) because he already had a boyfriend. Well, if you could call him that.
They'd been together for 12 months, Niall had moved into his apartment not so far from the boys house, and even closer to Zayn’s place. Danny was a nice boy, on the outside. When Niall first told the lads about him, they invited him and Zayn over to dinner. Unbeknownst to Niall, it was actually to suss him out, see if he was alright. They were protective over him, to say the least.
He turned up in skinny jeans and a nice shirt. He was about 6 foot, so a little over Niall's head, just about Harry's height. He had his hair done nicely and looked pretty spiff for a normal dinner. He also had a black stretcher in his right ear, one of the spikes. Niall was talking about it over dinner that night. Danny had black hair and brown eyes. But not the chocolatey kind like Liam's that you can melt into or the happy kind like Zayn's that can spark up anyone. From the get-go Zayn had noticed a certain fire in his eyes, one he'd never seen in a person before. He decided not to mention it to anybody else at that point. Besides, apart from that, he seemed like a really nice guy. Maybe he was just being overly suspicious. He was like that with close friends, didn’t want to see them get hurt. That's what he told himself, anyway.
This 'really nice guy' was one of the sweetest, kindest people Niall had ever met. For the first few weeks, anyway. They were all lovey-dovey. They seemed so happy. Perfect for each other. The other boys were sad that they didn't have Niall but happy for him at the same time. Although what they didn't know was that about two months into their relationship, Niall and Danny had a fight. It wasn't just a small tiff, it was a proper fight.
the two had been going out for a couple of months, and Danny wanted to make it a 'special night' for their anniversary. The only problem was that Niall had never done that before and wasn't sure he was ready. So he told Danny this, thinking he'd understand. Although he didn't. Niall was quite surprised and taken aback by Danny's reaction.
"Hey babe. Back from recording early?" Danny asked as Niall walked in the door, putting his jacket on the coat rack.
"Yeah. We finished up a bit early, and I told the guys I was heading over here for the night. Did you like my present I left on the table for you?" Niall asked, smiling.
Danny held up his wrist to show off the watch that Niall got him.
"Love it babe" Danny said.
"Come here" he said, patting the spot on the lounge next to him. Niall slowly walked over, sitting down and Danny put his arms around Niall.
"What's u-" Niall was cut off by Danny's lips on his.
"What-Dan, hey" Niall said chuckling a bit. But as he started to realise that Danny wasn't letting go of him, he started to pull away.
"Babe, stop" Niall said a little forcefully. But he didn't, in fact he tightened his grip on the poor blond boy.
"You're mine tonight" Danny growled, and for the first time ever, Niall was genuinely scared of his boyfriend.
"What do you- Danny. I've told- Dan-" Niall said, still trying to get away. He finally did get out of Danny's grip, much to the stronger mans displeasure.
"Babe, I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm sorry, but-" Niall was cut off by Danny shoving him backwards. He didn't go far, just landed on his back on the lounge. But Danny got up and marched into his bedroom, slamming the door. Niall sat up, confused and hurt. Not physically, but hurt by his boyfriends actions.
Niall got up after a few minutes and walked to Danny's bedroom. He knocked slightly on it.
"Hey, babe. I'm, I'm so sorry. But I just can't do it yet. I don't think I'm ready. I will be one day, soon, maybe, but not yet. I still love you, though" Niall said, tears brimming in his eyes. Since he got no response from him, he was not expecting Danny to come out of his room at all, let alone force his door open sending Niall crashing into his arms.
Niall stood up quickly, going to hug his boyfriend but only getting shoved away once again.
"Two whole freaking months with me. And you're not ready? I've been with girls that have been ready within an hour of meeting me" Danny spat.
"But, they were one night stands, right? They meant nothing..." Niall said, recalling all the stories Danny had told him of his past relationships.
"Does it look like I give a fuck?!" Danny shouted.
"Shouldn't we both be ready for this, though? To make it special?" Niall asked, almost crying now.
"Well, I am. I don't know why you aren't. You're weak, that's why. You're a fucking weak piece of shit" Danny yelled at Niall, raising his voice towards the end. He'd never heard those words escape Danny's mouth like that. And he'd never seen him like that, either.
"I've never done this before, Danny! You know that. That's why I'm being cautious" Niall explained.
"You don't need to be fucking cautious. You know me. You'll be safe. I promise. I love you" Danny said, lowering his voice a little.
"Not so sure about that" Niall muttered under his breath, lowering his head.
"What'd you say?" Danny asked, looking down to see Niall's face.
"Nothing. I'm going to sleep on the-" he was cut off by Danny yanking his face up by his chin.
"I. Said. What'd you say?!" Danny repeated, voice raised. Niall was visibly shaking at this point, silent tears making their way down his flushed cheeks.
"I said I'm sorry" Niall covered for himself, hoping his boyfriend would let go of him soon. He did, and Niall exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"Good. Come here" Danny ordered, gesturing into his bedroom.
"Uh, I think, I, we have to work tomorrow, early start, I've gotta get home..." Niall started to turn around when a hand grabbed his waist.
"No, I think you can stay the night. And you know what else I think? I think that if you tell anyone about this, your friends will be very upset. They'll be disgusted with you. I wouldn’t want to see them hurt, either. Do you want that, Ni?" Danny asked, using the name the boys use for him. Nobody called him that except his band mates. Until now.
"N-no. I won't te-ell anyone. Danny, don't hurt them. Please" Niall begged.
“I won’t hurt them babe. You’ve nothing to worry about. As long as I’ve got you and we’re happy, because I love you” Danny seemed almost sincere, which scared Niall in a whole new way. Danny just pulled Niall into his bedroom and shut the door.
He never let Niall go. They laid in Danny's bed and went to sleep. Danny had his hands around Niall's waist, never loosening his grip, almost suffocating the man. Niall never got a wink of sleep that night. He lay there in his boyfriends arms crying silently. Early in the morning when Danny was in a deep sleep, Niall managed to slip away. He grabbed his shoes from beside the bed and his jacket from the coat stand and slipped out the door. It was still dark and cold, but he walked home nonetheless.
The next day Danny showed up at their flat, knocking on their door. Liam answered it, smiling as he realised who it was.
"Oh, hey Danny. Want to come in?" Liam asked.
"Oh no thanks, I was just gonna ask if Niall was here. His phone must be dead or something cause he hasn't been answering. We were going to the zoo today" Danny explained in an innocent tone.
"Sure mate. I'll go check" Liam said as he hurried down the hallway.
"Niall, Danny's here. You two going to the zoo today?" Liam asked. He would never admit it, but he wished they were all going out somewhere today, instead of Niall with someone else. But, Niall was happy so Liam was happy.
Yep "W-what?" Niall asked, suddenly standing in the doorway to the bathroom. He’d walked home after last night, not wanting to see Danny at all. He was fully dressed but not expecting to go out today let alone have Danny turn up at their door after last night.
"Dan's here. Your phones dead or something mate?" Liam asked, confused.
"Uh, yeah s-somethin' like that" Niall answered in a solemn tone. He walked to the door, meeting Danny's warm gaze.
"Hey babe. I've been trying to call you. Wanna go out today?" Danny asked in a chirpy voice.
"Um, maybe no-" Niall started but was cut off by Danny hugging him tightly. He was quite suprised until Danny started whispering in his ear, a sharp, harsh tone in his voice.
"You're gonna come out with me today no questions asked. You're not gonna tell them what happened or else. And don't refuse" he snapped. Niall quickly pulled back with sudden fear in his eyes. Danny's expression was soft, a bright smile on his lips. You wouldn't be able to tell anything was going on.
Niall quickly nodded before rushing to get his wallet and heading out the door.
"Be back later, lads" he called. There were a few mumbles and mutters like 'cya' and 'have fun' but he hardly heard them because as soon as he shut the door Danny grabbed his arm and yanked him into the car.
That was the first time Danny had abused him.
And it wouldn't be the last.
The front door was locked. Niall didn’t move much as he stood in the doorway of Liam, Harry and Louis’ flat. They were all home, he knew this as they’d tried to plan a movie night with him (which he had to decline). Tonight was perfect. It was 11PM and Danny was asleep. Niall knew he was a heavy sleeper, but would soon notice the missing presence of his boyfriend in the bed, then the house. Niall thought he'd get a few hours break at Liam’s place. Just to calm down. But the duffle bag in his left hand said something else.
He was terrified. He didn’t know whether to go in, or turn back. He still had time, maybe Danny wasn’t even awake yet. No, he’d waited too long, he’d gone through too much to turn back now. He was visibly shaking, and it wasn't the cold London air, either
No, go back. This isn’t the right time. This was the last thought that went through Niall’s head before his hand had made contact with the front door, sending cold shivers down his spine. His mind had made one decision, while his body had made another.
He waited and waited, almost opting to leave as though it was a sign that nobody was answering. As Niall turned to start walking back down the path, he noted the slightly older bruises on his sides still hurting from the other night, mingling with the fresh ones along his hips
That's another thing Danny does. Forces him to do things he doesn't want to. Some of them are unmentionable, but to Niall, it's all tears and dark memories. He remembers the first time.
It was about a week after that first fight. Niall had tried to forget it and move on. He thought it was a one time thing. Danny would never actually hurt him, I mean he must've been drunk, right? He definitely had something to drink that night, now that Niall thought about it. He also thought about telling his mates, but decided against it as Danny wouldn't hurt him again. No, he would never.
It was early on a Saturday night when Danny asked Niall if he was ready. Niall replied with a simple "no" thinking that his boyfriend would hear his nervous tone and understand. But no. Danny got really angry. He even threw a few things. Niall had tried to leave, but Danny literally forced him to stay. And that wasn't the only thing he forced him to do that night.
Another one of those episodes had occurred a few nights ago. Niall covered his cuts up on his face with a bit of concealer. He hated wearing makeup, but it was the only thing that hid the angry marks on his face from his caring friends.
He really didn't know how to end the relationship. He was over it. He was over the yelling, the screaming, the crying, the abuse, hiding it all -emotionally and physically- from his best mates.
I can’t do this it’s too much He went to walk down the path when he heard the familiar sound of the front door click. Now or never.
It really was now or never, as Danny and Niall had had a fight earlier that day. Niall had his bag packed and he ran, quite literally, for his life.
Driving back from work, Niall saw the apartment block he was so used to, the one he hoped to never again see in his life after today. Danny was standing outside with a huge smile on his face. But at this, Niall's face dropped. He had no idea what he had planned and he needed to get in and out as quick as he could.
But as Niall drove up the driveway, Danny came to his door and opened it for him. He got out and they walked into his apartment together. It was just a bit smaller than the boys apartment.
"Come, sit down babe" Danny said as he gestured to the lounge.
"Uh, I'd rather not" Niall said, his voice shaky with fear and nerves.
"Sit down. You must be tired from the drive" Danny said in a harsher tone, teeth almost gritted.
"No, no it was quite a quick drive. Uh, I've got-I want, I don't want-Danny I don't want to do this anymore" Niall said, stumbling over his words like a rolling ocean.
"Do what?" Danny asked. He looked genuinely confused. What a fucking act.
"This, Danny. I don't want to, to be with you anymore. I'm s-sorry" Niall said, turning for the door which was still open by a crack.
"No" Danny simply said. But Niall didn't listen, he just headed for the door. What he didn't see was Danny striding up behind him, face red with fury, grabbing his wrist and whipping him around to face him.
"You will not leave this house and you will not leave me, understand?" Danny whispered harshly in his ear.
"D-Dan. I just don't think t-this is working anymore" Niall said carefully, scared of what Danny might do.
"Not working? NOT WORKING?! Why on earth would you think you're good enough to tell me that our relationship is not working" he asked Niall, emphasising a few words.
"I don't want you to hurt me anymore. Just let me go, please, and I'll be out of your life" Niall said in a small voice.
"You wanna run back to your little friends, don't ya? And then tell the cops on me. Put me in jail. That'd be nice, ey?" Danny asked with a cynical voice.
"N-no. No cops. I'd just leave and that'd be that. Please just let me go-" Niall struggled out of his grip but he only held on tighter. The prospect of bargaining with an abuser over police interference was not a position Niall had never thought he’d find himself in.
"Please.." Niall begged once again. Then, suddenly, Danny slapped him hard across the face. Parts of his body were still aching from the last time, but he knew this would be worse because the last time Niall hadn't tried to break up with him.
He thought Danny was going to say something else, so he opened his eyes only to scrunch them closed again after a forceful blow to the stomach. He knew that alone would leave a bruise. Then a punch to the side sent Niall sideways. He'd learned to not scream as this torture endured, because he'd just get hit harder. He knows he should scream, yell, something. But he didn't want to make it any worse.
Then Danny let go of him. Niall thought he could make a quick escape, but that was not an option as Danny walked around him and locked the door. With a key. Shit. He knew what was to come next. Danny had walked away, into the kitchen. Niall frantically tried to fiddle with the lock, with no luck though. The other exit, the back door, was up the other end of the apartment. He couldn't get there without running into Danny.
But the poor boy didn't have much of a chance to think any longer as Danny emerged from the kitchen. He was holding two dinner plates.
"No, Dan please, please think about this.." Niall tried to reason, but with no luck he had to duck as one of the plates came flying across the room smashing on the door just above his head, sending shards of ceramic death towards his him. Most missed but a few cut along his face in places.
"Don't. Call. Me. Dan. Anymore" Danny blurted out. Anger and rage filled his face, and by this point silent tears were streaming down Niall's cheeks.
Danny walked up to Niall, grabbed his arm and yanked him from the floor. Niall, again, tried to get out of his grip, away from the maniac he once called the love of his life, and run. But it didn't work. It never works, but he still tries in hope. Unfortunately Danny was much stronger than Niall.
"I hate you. I always have. You're worthless. I don't know why I even started dating you. You're only in this whole thing for the money. You don't care about those other guys, or your supposed 'fans'. I wish I'd never met you!" He shouted, still holding Niall's arms forcefully.
Now Niall doesn't like to stand up to Danny very often, because it results in an episode like this. Although no matter what he does these days it results in an episode like this. But Danny's never insulted the boys or the fans before and when it comes to them, Niall'll fight for them any day. And hey, he thought, how much worse can this really get?
"I don't just do this for the money. I never wanted to, that was never my goal in the first place. I love the fans, they mean everything to us. And I love those boys with all my heart. They're my best friends. So don't put shit on them, not when this is about us" Niall almost shouted. He thought that maybe his newfound courage would throw Danny off, he might be able to even hit him a couple times and get out of there.
But this was not the case. Danny hit him across the head a couple more times, punched him in the face again, possibly breaking his nose, and hit him in the stomach once more. Then to Niall's surprise, he let go of the shaking boy.
"W-what.." Niall started to say, but he was cut off.
"Get out. I never want to see you again. Go!" Danny shouted. Niall was once again on the floor, so he stated to get up slowly.
"Get out!" Danny yelled even louder this time. Niall was sure that somebody would've heard all this commotion and called the police, or somebody. But no, no sirens, no flashing lights to save him.
Niall never imagined it would be this easy. As he grabbed his keys and shakily unlocked the front door, Danny walked back into the kitchen. Niall looked back once, and slipped out the door, closing it quietly behind him. He drove to the closest park. He wasn’t sure why, to sit and think maybe. But an hour had passed and Danny was texting him again.
“come home. We’ll work it out”
“Dont stress, we’ll figure it out.”
“Babe come home, wouldn’t want to make it worse xx”. Niall knew these threats had been extended to his former band mates, however Danny had never followed through.
He’d done the silliest thing he’s ever done in his life, he returned to that house. He went home later that evening and Danny had been quite welcoming at first. After an hour of “I’m sorry” and “we’ll be okay”, Niall had a broken rib, a bloody nose, and traces of obscenities along his hips. Niall packed his bag that night.
Only 4 hours later and he was stood on Liam’s doorstep, facing away as if he was leaving. The door clicked open and a familiar face was framed by a dim light.
“Niall? Hey! Niall, come in mate! Everything alright?” Liam’s voice was clear but soothing. He hadn't seen his mates in a couple weeks. Niall turned back towards the front door. With one last look at the night behind him, he walked towards Liam. At just above a whisper, Niall simply said
“Liam, I need help”.