Chapter Text
“Well?” Mike asked, as he and Tina sat down across from Kurt at their usual table in the L.A. Bean.
“Brit’s not here yet. We should wait for her,” Kurt said. “How’s the studio?”
“Great,” Tina said, taking a sip of her latte. “We have some really promising new students, and I haven’t had to kick any aging socialites out of class for ogling my husband yet, so that’s a bonus.”
“You know I have a strict anti-ogling policy, love,” Mike said, smiling as he took her hand.
“Oh I don’t worry about you,” Tina said. “But I’m keeping an eye on that one woman in the Thursday class. She’s entirely too fond of watching you demonstrate the proper samba bounce, if you get my meaning.”
“Tina, if you had a dollar for every woman who likes to watch Mike shake his ass, you’d be able to buy my entire fall wardrobe and have money left over,” Kurt said.
“True,” Tina said, grinning. “After all, he has a great ass. I should know.”
“Uh, thanks?” Mike said, covering his face with one hand as Tina leaned into him laughing.
“You’re welcome, darling,” she said. She and Kurt were both still giggling when Kurt found himself with a lapful of leggy blonde.
“Hi guys!” Brittany said brightly, turning in Kurt’s lap so she could steal a sip of his coffee. “Did I miss anything?”
“Nope. We haven’t started yet,” Mike said.
“Brit-Brit, can you sit in your own seat? I’m going to need my legs if I’m going to survive this season,” Kurt said.
“So you’re in for sure?” Tina said. Kurt nodded. “Us too!”
“Me three! Er…four?” Brittany said, looking around the table. Kurt held up four fingers. “Me four!”
“Thank god,” Kurt said. “I’m going to need all of you to keep me sane. Between Rachel and her ‘helpful music suggestions’ and the return of Bitsy the hyperactive chipmunk, this season is already giving me a headache.”
“I like chipmunks,” Brittany said. “I didn’t know they could dance.”
“Wonders never cease,” Kurt said, handing Brittany a spoon so she could scoop out the rest of his whipped cream. “Case in point: Bitsy and her block of wood partner managed to make it to Week Four last season.”
“You know Elizabeth hates being called Bitsy,” Tina said conversationally.
“And I hate that girls in LA seem to think that yoga pants are appropriate attire outside the yoga studio. There are some things we just have to live with,” Kurt said.
“So, we meet our partners next week.” Mike, ever the peacemaker, attempted to change the subject.
“Yep. Which means we have seven weeks until the premiere,” Tina said. “I need to start thinking about choreography.”
“I need to take up prayer or animal sacrifice or something,” Kurt said. “I cannot deal with yet another season of coming in sixth, or ninth, or last.”
“It’s not your fault, man,” Mike said. “They’ve saddled you with some doozies. You deserve a good partner for once.”
“You’re sweet,” Kurt said. “I swear the producers have it in for me. ‘Oh, a 50-year-old has-been with an anger problem? Give her to the token gay!’”
“You know you’re good with them, though,” Tina said. “Your partners all end up loving you, which is more than most of us can say.”
“Says the girl who has two shiny mirrorball trophies at home. I’ll take those over being liked any day,” Kurt said, stealing his drink back from Brittany before she could finish it off. “This will be my sixth season, and the best I’ve ever done is come in fifth.”
“I came in fifth at the Little Miss California pageant when I was seven,” Brittany said. “I dressed up as Abraham Lincoln and recited the Gettysburg Address.”
“Of course you did, Brit,” Kurt said, a smile replacing his frown as he imagined a tiny Brit with a beard and top hat. “I bet you were adorable.”
“The judges said I was historically significant but visually disturbing,” Brittany said, sliding out of the booth. “I’m going to get a smoothie. Does anyone want anything?”
The three of them still at the table all shook their heads, trying not to laugh. They loved Brit, they really did, but sometimes she said the damnedest things.
***
The following Wednesday morning, on what was shaping up to be another sultry August day, Kurt and a camera crew drove into the hills to a massive estate that belonged to his new partner. Kurt had been thrilled when the producers told him her name. Kim Schrodinger was an actress in her mid-30s, most famous for the sitcom she’d starred in for six years in her 20s. She was married to a musician now, had two kids – a boy and a girl – and a busy professional life guest starring on and producing tv shows. She was well-known, well-respected, and most importantly well-loved. Even if she had no dance experience at all, her legions of fans would vote to keep her on the show until Kurt could whip her into shape. He knew even without meeting her that she would be his best shot at the trophy. He hoped she was up to the challenge.
Kurt sat in the back of the studio car while the camera crew went in to set up. He used the downtime wisely, running through a mental list of techniques to try and questions to ask once they got the official meet and greet out of the way. They would be starting with the cha cha, a fun dance that would let Kim show off her personality. Kurt had already been through the song choices, selecting three that he thought might work. He’d run those by her today, so that he could jump right into choreography after rehearsal, once he’d seen what she could do. He was hoping for a miracle, but he could make it work regardless.
A few minutes later, Kurt was summoned to the front door. He took a second to straighten his vest and tie and check his hair in the mirror before knocking. Kim opened the door after his second knock, looking pretty and trim in casual trousers and a silk top. Kurt noted with approval that the top of her head was level with his eyeline and she probably weighed 115 pounds soaking wet. If – no, when – they made it that far, she’d be easy to lift during the freestyle.
“Hi!” Kim said, drawing Kurt into a hug. “Kurt, right? I’m so excited that you’re my partner. You’re my favorite pro. But I bet that’s what they all say.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Kurt said, once she released him. He smiled at her a little dazedly, overwhelmed by how cheerful and nice she was.
“You are just as gorgeous in person as I thought you’d be,” Kim confided, looping her arm through Kurt’s as she led him through the house.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” Kurt replied, and she laughed.
“You’re sweet. This is going to be fun. I should warn you, though, that my kids are here, and they want to meet you more than they want pizza for dinner every night, which is a lot. I hope you don’t mind?”
“No, that’s fine,” Kurt said. “I like kids.”
“Great! Because Jake and Molly will just love you.” Kim said, before shouting up the stairs. “Jakesters, Moll! Kurt’s here! Come say hello like the perfect little angels you aspire to be.”
Two kids, the girl obviously a few years older than the boy, who looked about five, came tumbling down the stairs, trailed by a golden retriever. They both had dark hair like their mother, though the girl’s was curly and slightly auburn, which she had to get from her dad. Grant Monroe was as handsome as his wife was beautiful, at least from the pictures and videos Kurt had seen.
“Hi guys. I’m Kurt.” Kurt crouched down to their level, amused when Molly beamed at him but Jake wouldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too!” Molly said, flinging herself at him. Apparently she took after her mother in the friendliness department. Kurt hugged her back, and then set her down so he could turn to Jake.
“Hi, Jake.”
“Hi,” Jake said, glancing up at Kurt from beneath his lashes and curling his fingers in the dog’s fur.
“I like your dog. What’s its name?”
“Bandit.”
“That’s a great name. I bet you’re a really good friend to Bandit,” Kurt said, reaching out to pet Bandit’s head.
“Uh huh,” Jake said, finally looking up. “He sleeps on my bed and I take him for walks and give him treats.”
“He must love you an awful lot, then,” Kurt said. He gave Bandit a last pat and squeezed Jake’s shoulder before standing up. Jake smiled at him and nodded.
“Ok, squirts,” Kim said. “Kurt and I have to get to work, so you two go play. Daddy will be home for lunch so we can all eat together.”
“Can Kurt stay for lunch?” Molly asked.
“I don’t know,” Kim said, looking at him. “Can Kurt stay for lunch?”
“Sure. That would be great,” Kurt said.
“Yay!” Molly squeezed him once more around the waist before grabbing her brother’s hand and pulling him outside behind her.
“And that,” Kim said, turning them in the direction of a big, open room that would serve as their rehearsal space, “is how you make fans for life.”
***
Their first few hours of rehearsal went as well as Kurt could have hoped. Kim was easy-going, followed instructions well, and moved naturally. She’d danced as a kid, but had never done ballroom before. She didn’t have any terrible habits he would have to break, and she seemed willing and able to try things until she got them right. They’d laughed more on the first day than Kurt had with his previous partner in eight weeks. As far as signs went, he thought that was a fabulous one.
“She’s awesome, Cedes,” Kurt told his best friend later that night over tacos and tequila at their favorite Mexican place. “She’s easy to work with and she has talent. I’m in heaven.”
“You deserve it, K,” Mercedes said. “Especially after the year you’ve had.”
“I know. Last season was a killer.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. But add last season to your dad’s health and that nothing of a boyfriend you finally dumped, and you more than deserve the best partner available,” Mercedes said, and Kurt sighed.
“I know, I know. I just prefer not to think about all that stress and unpleasantness. Dad’s fine, and Mitch is so far in the past I hardly think about him now.”
“Mmhm,” Mercedes said, hardly sounding convinced.
“I mean it,” Kurt said, stabbing his salad with his fork. Things with Mitchell had ended for good three months ago, at the end of the previous season, and Kurt had worked hard over the summer to get all the way over him. “I’m ready to look forward and kick ass this season.”
“So no pining?”
“No. No dating either, I think. I can use a break.”
“Seriously?” Mercedes put down her taco and stared at him. “You, Kurt Hummel, serial dater, are going to take a break from boys?”
“Shut up. I’m already on a break, if you haven’t noticed. Besides, it’ll be good for me. I can focus on winning for once.”
“Sure, K. And I’ll focus on making sure your hair is fabulous.”
“My hair is always fabulous,” Kurt said.
“I know, K,” Mercedes said, smiling. “You’re my favorite boy.”
“And you’re my very best girl.” Kurt grinned back at her, and then lifted his shot glass for a toast. “To us – single, fabulous, and taking LA by storm.”
“To us.” Mercedes lifted her own shot, and they both drank their glasses down.
***
A week into rehearsals with Kim, Kurt was more optimistic than ever. They’d mostly rehearsed at her house so far, where her kids and husband could pop in to cheer them on when they needed a lift. Kurt had agreed to teach Grant the basics at some point, so that he and Kim could dance together. And of course both Jake and Molly were soaking everything up like little sponges. Two days ago, Kurt had walked in to find Molly bossing Jake around the floor as they tried their hand at a basic cha cha. Kurt had given Kim the number to Tina and Mike’s studio and suggested signing them up for a few beginner classes.
Starting that afternoon, following shooting of the title and promotional shots, Kim and Kurt would be working in Kurt’s favorite downtown studio. Now that Kurt knew what Kim could do, it was time to get serious about choreography. Kim had insisted that they dance to Push It, which, while potentially hilarious was also a rather inspired choice. No one would expect it from her, and Kurt’s planned choreography combined with the song would capture everyone’s attention immediately.
Kurt headed to the shoot early so that he could discuss his ideas for costuming with Sam Evans, the new head of wardrobe, and then get over to the hair and makeup trailer before the rush. He wanted Mercedes to have enough time to get his hair just right and maybe indulge in a little gossip session before the new celebs started invading.
Kim met him in hair and makeup, all smiles for Mercedes, who took to her immediately. The three of them chatted happily while Cedes worked her magic, and then Kurt and Kim headed for the main building to get their photos taken. At the door, they ran into Elizabeth and the guy who was her new partner. Kurt’s first thought was that he was shorter in person than he’d expected. And then New Guy held out his hand and grinned, and Kurt forgot to think at all.
“Hi!” New Guy said, still grinning. “You must be Kurt. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Hello,” Kurt managed, still blinded by the guy’s megawatt smile. “And you are?”
“Blaine Anderson,” he said. Kurt knew that, of course. Everyone knew that. Anyone who didn’t know Blaine Anderson had to have been living under a rock for the past five years. He was everywhere – on tv, in record stores, on the radio, performing at the Grammys. ‘Pop Sensation Blaine Anderson’ was a household name, but that didn’t mean Kurt had to play along with Bitsy’s new partner.
“Ah,” Kurt said, extracting his hand from Blaine’s grip. “You’re Bitsy’s partner, I take it?”
“Bitsy? You mean Elizabeth?” Blaine looked confused. It, like everything else, was a surprisingly good look on him.
“Of course,” Kurt said.
“Kurt likes to tease me about my height, or lack thereof,” Elizabeth said, returning to their conversation and slipping an arm through Blaine’s.
“Well I guess he’ll have to tease me too,” Blaine said, still grinning around at all of them. “I’m not exactly a giant.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Kim said, coming to Kurt’s rescue. “It worked for Napoleon, right? Well, mostly.”
She started giggling, which set off the other two, while Kurt stared at all three of them, an amused smile tugging at his lips.
“It’s wonderful to meet you both, but we have to get inside before all the hard work the hair and makeup people did goes to waste,” Kim continued, waving at Elizabeth and Blaine before turning Kurt toward the hallway. “I’m sure we’ll see you soon!”
They walked down the hall, Kim humming quietly under her breath while Kurt put himself back together.
“So that’s Bitsy,” he finally said.
“Uh huh,” Kim said. “And more importantly, that’s Blaine Anderson.”
“If you say so,” Kurt said, and Kim laughed delightedly.
“Don’t even try to hide the fact that you were staring. That is one adorable hunk of a pop star, and I don’t blame you even a little bit.”
“Kim!”
“What? I’m not allowed to appreciate cute guys, even if I’m married and they’re gay?”
“How do you know he’s gay?” Kurt asked. “He’s not out.”
“Oh, please. Have you seen what he wears? A 20-something man that attached to bowties is not batting for my team. Plus, you may not have noticed in your Blaine-induced haze, but he was totally checking you out.”
“He was not.”
“Oh, honey. Denial is not a good look on you.”
“I’m not in denial. I’m just being practical. Even if he is gay, which is still in question, that doesn’t mean he’s interested in me or that I’m interested in him. And anyway, I told you I’ve sworn off dating,” Kurt said.
“Whatever you say, Kurt,” Kim said, but it was clear from her tone that the conversation was far from over. “Now let’s go be gorgeous for the camera.”
“Please,” Kurt said, and he followed her into the studio, resolutely not thinking about brilliant smiles and boys who might be gay.