Chapter Text
You were sitting on a bench outside of the Avengers Tower, you’d been going through a tough time for a long while and things were just not getting much better. You work for the Avengers team, but more in the background. You just finished your shift and stepped out to sit quietly and have some quiet time to yourself and get some fresh air. You felt discouraged and unconsciously had your vision pointed towards the ground; life had not been easy since the snap. The world felt colder, darker, you started daydreaming until a distinct voice captured your attention.
“Hey… Are you ok?” The voice made your mind pause as you looked in the direction it was coming from. You looked up to see it was Captain America himself looking over at you, assessing if you were alright. He was clean shaven, his blue eyes striking.
“Ahh…” You never saw him this close in person and nearly jumped out of your skin when you realized it was him. “Captain…” he made your heart skip a beat, giving you butterflies in your stomach. You secretly had a crush on him, but so did everyone else. You never had spoken to him before, nor ever thought you ever would.
“It’s ok, you can call me Steve,” he said as he slowly made his way to sit beside you on the bench, holding eye contact with you the whole time.
You took a breath and looked away, you didn’t realize that you were holding in a lot of emotions inside at the time and him surprising you like that was making you crack. You built walls around you, the snap took away people you loved, but, like for everyone else… The world doesn’t stop for you. You still had to go to work the next day. You still had to figure things out. You always wanted to be strong. You had to be. For yourself and at work for people who depended on you. You felt so much and said so little, and you just had no outlet.
“Long day?” he asked, sincere concern in his eyes.
“Long day, everyday Captain…” you sounded detached and gloomy.
“Hey… Look at me…” you were still looking down at the ground, blinking rapidly as he asked you to look at him. You slowly pulled your back to the bench, straightening out your posture and turned your head to look at him, trying to keep your emotions inside.
“I can tell you need someone to talk to.” His voice deep, his piercing blue eyes looked like they were searching your mind, uncovering all your little secrets and emotions you keep hidden, even from yourself, he could see in just a glance.
You sighed silently as you forced your shoulders to relax, he could read your body language perfectly. He knew you were tense. “I…” you were stuck trying to find the right words to use and your voice trailed off.
“I know things have been crazy here lately, and everyone has a ton of work to do… but I want you to know that even though we may not see each other everyday. I want you to know that we are all on the same team, and we can look out for each other.”
Your expression got softer, listening to what he was saying, “I… have been pulling long hours – perhaps to maybe distract myself, and I have been feeling down lately. I can’t sleep when I go home. The world is a darker place now,” your voice starting to crack, and tears forming in your eyes, “and… I feel numb or pain… one or the other…It’s so hard to feel… let alone be happy again. I don’t know how,’’ you said as more tears started to form in your eyes. It wasn’t until you said it out loud that you realized just how bad a shape you were in, and it concerned you now.
“Yeah…” he agreed, shifting himself a little closer to you, “I know… I’ve seen you around.” He paused, “I noticed you used to smile more, but…” you quickly turned back to him… Since when did he ever see you? He was so busy doing his own job, and you worked in the background… How would he even know who you are? “I do like your smile. I hope that you could somehow smile more.”
You nodded, not sure what to say, “Um… Yeah. I’ll try to work on that,’’ you frowned replaying what you just said in your head and how stupid that must have sounded.
“I’m in the process of creating a counseling group, where people can sit together and talk about what they are going through. Help people along with their lives.” He looked at you straight in the eyes, “You should come.”
You blinked rapidly, processing what he was saying, “Are you asking me to join your group? Captain?”
He smiled at you, “Just call me Steve… and yes.” He paused, “It might help. I’m making them Wednesday nights. It’s a few blocks away from here.” He paused, “You think I’ll see you around?”
You looked back down at the ground and parted your lips to help you breathe better. “I… I’ve never done that before. I’m more of a…” you looked back up at him, “Private person…”
He nodded, “I just want you to know that you’re not alone.”
His eyes piercing you again like no one you’ve ever met, what he could make you feel in a few seconds is what so few people could make you feel in a lifetime. You were starting to crack, and your inner mask was starting to fall off. You immediately looked back at the ground trying to hide your insecurity, you were not ready to let anyone in, but your eyes were starting to water. “I… always feel alone,” you confessed as your face twitched. Then your back curled forward, your head in your hands as you started to sob, releasing your pent-up anger and frustration and sadness at the world that pulled the rug out from under you, and changed in a blink of an eye. “Anytime, I go anywhere… confide in ANYONE… I end up being or feeling judged.” You looked up at him almost doe-eyed, “I can’t open up to people, I’ve always regretted it.”
He shook his head and put one arm around you, cradling you close to the side of his body. You couldn’t remember the last time you actually got a hug from someone or felt human touch. You realized you closed yourself off THAT much, and it wasn’t good for you. You didn’t mind his arm around you, deep inside your craved that positive touch, it’s his eyes that went straight to your soul. He locked eyes with you again, “Well… I’m in charge of the group, and one of the main rules is to have a judgement free environment, and to respect people’s confidentiality.”
You nodded, understanding what he was saying and he put his arm down and backed away slowly on the bench to give you space. “You said it was Wednesday?” You said looking up at him.
“Yeah,” he said standing up.
“Ok, I’ll be there,” you paused looking at him. “Thank you, Steve.