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she encounters penelope park on a tuesday, walking through st. germain.
sven has an arm wrapped around her waist and the sun is shining and the last person she wants to see hurrying down the street is fucking penelope park.
on top of everything, she almost runs lizzie over.
she looks a mess, lizzie notes, with a sense of victory.
her hair is chaotic, vaguely resembling some sort of bun, her eyes have dark rings under them and she doesn't even see them as she turns a corner, crashes straight into lizzie.
the stack of books clatters to the ground.
and lizzie watches as penelope park, normally utterly refined, scrambles on the ground to pick them up.
and she sees the titles.
ancient coven histories.
blood curses.
the travelers and their opponents.
a complete history of the gemini coven.
penelope looks up and surprise crosses her face, replaced by shock and concern.
"just walk away and we pretend this never happened, saltzman," she finally offers.
and lizzie wants to. she really does.
instead, she sighs. "you know i can't do that, park."
"you wouldn't want to neglect your splendid boy toy over there, saltzman."
lizzie looks back at sven, who looks utterly confused by the entire conversation. she's never loved language barriers more.
"i hate to say this park, but you're more important."
that's how she ends up drinking coffee with a view of the seine, penelope park for company.
"so just to clarify," lizzie begins, "you told everyone, including josie, you were going to some witch school in belgium, but came here instead to carry around books about the merge."
it feels like a standstill, staring at penelope over their damn cappuccinos.
finally, she sighs. "i've been doing some research." she meets lizzie's gaze. "don't tell josie. i don't want to give her false hope, i've found nothing useful so far."
it's the most awkward cup of coffee she's ever had, prying information out of the girl who wants her to die for all the right reasons.
so that josie can live.
lizzie, lizzie can't help but agree with that.
josie deserves to live.
"you can stop," she says, "josie's stronger than you're giving her credit for. merge or no merge, she'll be fine."
it's a vow of her lips, to someone who loves josie just as much as she does.
penelope doesn't say anything, and around them, the bustling tourists seem quiet.
"she doesn't deserve to become a killer, either," penelope finally sighs.
lizzie can see, in that moment, with shattering clarity, how much penelope park loves her sister.
enough to fight for both of them.
the seconds pass.
"how is she then?" penelope asks.
and lizzie knows that sister code absolutely prevents her from answering.
but penelope's eyes are tinged with concern, with care, and so she breaks the rules.
"she was devastated after you left," she begins, and tells penelope almost everything.
she leaves out the gun shot.
because the gun shot is still a mystery, because no one really understands why josie lived, because knowing that josie was in danger would just hurt penelope.
she leaves out landon, too.
it's a summer fling with that mop of a bird head.
it would be unnecessarily cruel.
"i should go," penelope says, finally, "it was oddly nice meeting you, lizzie."
lizzie shakes her head. josie's going to kill her, no curse required.
"not so fast, penelope."
penelope raises a dubious eyebrow. "i don't think you can stop me."
lizzie plays the one card she has. "of course not. i just think maybe you'd like to come back here tomorrow and know what josie and i have found out."
a myriad of expressions crosses penelope's face. "fine," she concedes at last. "until tomorrow, then."
she dreams that night.
josie, dead on the ground, her blood on lizzie’s hands, penelope staring at her with grief-stricken eyes.
and then she sees herself, pale and lifeless and she can hear josie’s sobs.
before she can wake up, the dream changes, and the girl is back.
she is painting.
lizzie can’t quite see what.
she can’t always see the girl clearly either, but tonight, she seems closer than usual.
“hello lizzie,” she says, as she does every night, and her smile is warm, and her voice sounds delighted.
lizzie sinks down on one of the plush, comfortable chairs.
“are you going to tell me your name tonight?” she asks, as she does every night.
and like every night, the girl shakes her head. “i can’t. you shouldn’t even be here. and i still don’t know how you are.”
“how’s therapy?” mystery girl asks, putting her paintbrush down.
“a lot of talking,” she replies and the girl chuckles. “i ran into my sister’s ex today.”
“penelope’s in paris?” the girl asks and her hand flies to her mouth seconds later, as if she’s said too much.
lizzie knows that the girl knows too much.
maybe she’s being possessed.
maybe she’s a figment of lizzie’s imagination.
maybe lizzie’s just crazy.
and she should tell mom, or dad, or jo, but she hasn’t, and she won’t.
no matter how dangerous this game is, she can’t lose her.
the silence lingers but the girl volunteers no explanation.
“yes, she’s in paris,” lizzie confirms. “trying to find a cure for the merge, apparently.”
excitement crosses the girl’s features, joy and concern, like she cares, cares about their fate. “has she found anything?“
some figment of her imagination would be invested in her survival, she supposes.
so this is how crazy lizzie finally loses it, then.
spending her nights talking to a girl who doesn’t exist.
“she didn’t find anything,” she says, and the girl sighs, and she seems so, so real.
she moves closer, almost like she’s about to reach out.
“im sure she will,” she says, “or your mom will. don’t give up,” she implores and takes another step towards lizzie.
before lizzie can respond, the fog slides in around them, the girl disappears and the world turns grey.
“you look tired,” penelope greets her the next day.
lizzie rolls her eyes. “such a sweet talker. were you this charming to my sister?”
“josie always looks gorgeous,” penelope replies and for a moment there’s a faraway look in her eyes that makes her look entirely different.
a breath later, her expression hardens. “alright,” she says, all business, “what do you know?”
and lizzie tells her about the ascendant and in return, she learns about her coven, old and connected to prison worlds and travelers and bound by a curse with a mysterious origin.
and from there on, they meet. it’s horribly awkward and stilted sometimes, and she’s lying to her mother, and more importantly, to josie.
but they’re figuring things out, about the ascendant and about her powers and this is important.
this is their best chance.
her nights, her nights she spends with dream girl, as lizzie has dubbed her.
she's still refusing to tell lizzie her name, but she has quite a lot to say about the topic of the merge. she knows things.
things that make lizzie think that she would be a witch, if she were real.
but she isn't.
she is a figment of lizzie's imagination, a crazy dream for a crazy girl.
"mom mentioned it," she claims when penelope questions her new knowledge of prison worlds, asks about how she found out so much about travelers.
she doesn't know how to explain the truth.
that she spends her nights talking to a girl who doesn't exist.
"how is the queen of snark?" the girl asks, dropping down in the chair opposite lizzie's.
there is green paint on her fingers.
she talks with a familiarity. like she knows penelope.
it's not quite the same familiarity she talks to lizzie with.
"fine," lizzie sighs. "we're getting somewhere, i think." she pauses for a second. "but summer is almost over."
the girl looks suddenly grief-stricken, just for a moment. "is it? time does pass quickly."
then she adjusts her position, absent-mindedly leaving paint smears on the arm rest of the chair. "you should ask penelope to come back with you."
"josie would kill me."
the girl doesn't say anything else, just sits with her in a quiet silence and lizzie considers, considers.
"tell me one thing about yourself," she requests, when she can feel the fog moving in from the distance. "anything."
the girl bites her lip. "i like to bake," she whispers, and then the darkness takes her.
when she asks penelope to come back with her, she stares at lizzie for several seconds.
"are you high?" she asks. lizzie thinks that this question is an absolutely appropriate response.
but - "no," she replies. "but you're not going to achieve anything just reading old books."
"jo won't be happy."
"just tell her you didn't like belgium," lizzie stirs sugar into her coffee. "too much rain."
"you want me to tell your sister, who enjoys setting things on fire, who i left standing in the middle of the hall, that i'm back because of the weather?"
"you can also tell her that you're desperately in love with her," lizzie sips carefully, "and came here to try and save her life."
penelope's fingers clench around her cup. "or, i just stay here, where i can practice french and not go up in flames."
it takes her two more days to convince penelope, but she has all the arguments on her side.
the ascendant is in mystic falls.
there's nothing left to look for in paris.
and they need all the help they can get.
"i'm proud of you," the girl in her dreams says, and with every night that passes, she seems even more distinct, even more real to lizzie. "for asking her."
she probably truly is going insane.
but what a way to go, lizzie thinks, as the girl smiles at her, wide and beautiful.
"do you think we would be friends?" she asks, on the night before they fly back. "if you were real."
the girl turns away from the painting. lizzie can glimpse green trees on its edges.
"i'd like to think that eventually, i'd figure out how lucky i would be to be your friend.”
penelope disappears before they even enter the school. "i'll catch you later, saltzman," she says, and seconds later, she's gone.
it's probably not the worst move, lizzie thinks, as josie hurries out through the doors of the entrance hall, ready to welcome her back home.
the school is different.
everything is different, these days.
josie is actually dating the half pint chicken.
raf is still a wolf.
mg is quieter, more solemn.
and the hallways feel empty, as lizzie walks through them. she can't put her finger on the missing piece.
"penelope is back," josie screams at her two days after their return.
lizzie blinks innocently. "is she?"
jo's luckily not paying any attention to her at all. "apparently she didn't like the weather in belgium. or something with her mom. who knows. who cares. but she's back."
lizzie leans back on her bed, contemplates pointing out to her sister that she has a boyfriend, technically. she decides against it.
"how do you feel about this?" she questions.
josie doesn't stop her rant. "and i can't believe the new headmaster just let her in."
"students at the school," lizzie mutters, "a shocker."
josie glares at her. "anyway, she was just strolling down the hall, all sexy, smirking and mysterious. she didn't even say hello."
"you could say hello."
the mirror rattles dangerously. "i can't believe she's just back."
the next day at breakfast, lizzie has the displeasure of witnessing the most awkward conversation ever.
"good morning, jo-jo," penelope says. "you've moved on to more avian partners, i see."
landon looks torn between objecting and being clever enough to keep his mouth shut.
"why are you back?" josie bites out.
"nothing can compete with the special magical atmosphere of this place, don't you think?"
lizzie is unsure if josie is about to set penelope on fire or start making out with her.
the air is sizzling with tension.
landon clears his throat.
"welcome back, penelope."
she glares at him for several seconds. "thank you, landon, for this heartfelt welcome."
she spins on her heel. "now if you'll excuse me, i have matters to attend to."
"i hate her," josie says as soon as she's gone.
lizzie does not laugh. hate. sure.
penelope, when lizzie meets her in the hidden corner of the library later, just acts like a pining idiot.
"i thought it would be easier to be back," she says.
lizzie did not ask. she does not want to know. she does not know how she got caught up in the middle of this mess.
she sinks down on one of the chairs. "you could just talk to her," she suggests.
"no," penelope whispers, "not until we've found something."
"she wants to try and use the ascendant this weekend," lizzie reveals and penelope sighs.
"that seems dangerous."
"we need to do something," lizzie argues.
"tell me when and where," penelope says, "so i can at least keep an eye out."
"i don't like lying to josie," lizzie repeats. they've discussed this before. but penelope remains firm. her involvement in this is has to stay hidden.
"be careful," the pretty redhead in her dreams says, and her voice is filled with concern.
she steps closer, almost like she wants to touch lizzie.
but she remains out of reach.
"please be careful, lizzie," she repeats. "whatever you find there, it may very well be dangerous."
lizzie walks through the hallways of the school and traces her hands over them.
she is looking for magic.
or for something else.
for something missing.
she ends up in an empty room, eerily similar to the image in her dreams, and looks out the windows.
and doesn't know.
she's about to walk back down the stairs when she sees the painting, hanging across from the room.
green woods, a wolf standing in a clearing, a crescent moon shining down.
it's not the painting from her dreams.
but it's close, and she can't move.
stands and stares for hours.
"who are you?" she pleads with the girl, "why do you feel so real?"
the girl twists her paintbrush in her fingers. "i'll just make it all worse if i tell you."
"am i going crazy?"
"no," she replies, with ferocity, "no, lizzie, you're not."
lizzie wishes she could believe her.
"we need a vial of aunt bonnie's blood," lizzie reveals to her sister, one of the many books penelope found in paris spread out in front of them.
"steal one," josie says, absent-mindedly staring out the window, "do you think penelope is going to stay this time?"
"i'm sorry to interrupt your pining, but how do you want me to steal her blood?"
"meet her for coffee and accidentally cut her. what do you think?"
lizzie rolls her eyes. "i love how invested you are in saving our lives. maybe if you tell her you want her to stay, she will."
"i don't want her to stay. i have a boyfriend."
his main purpose so far seems to be being pulled obnoxiously close every time penelope is nearby.
lizzie taps her fingers on the bedsheets.
"jo, if you still have feelings for her, talk to her."
"no."
god give her strength.
"i'll handle it," penelope says, "the blood matter."
"you're volunteering to do this?"
"she doesn't know me, i can just accidentally walk against her in town."
"don't tell her your name," lizzie advises.
"why?"
"she knows of you."
penelope smirks. lizzie sighs. idiots.
it's all back to longing glares and wistful stares and penelope lounging in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace.
"why does she have to look like that?" josie mutters angrily.
"i thought you had a boyfriend?"
"that's not the point, lizzie."
the point is constantly changing, lizzie thinks.
she has other things to worry about. between the sheets of her homework, she found a recipe for banana cream pie, handwritten.
and she thinks of the girl, saying "i like baking," and she feels so close, and yet, so far away.
there’s an eclipse this weekend and they scheme and make plans.
penelope returns with a vial if ain’t bonnie’s blood. “she seems nice,” she comments and lizzie stares.
fuck.
“you okay, saltzman?” penelope asks.
“if we find a cure, you’re going to charm my sister again. and she is such an idiot for you, she’ll say yes.
and i’ll be stuck with you at family holidays for the rest of my life.”
pen laughs. “merge looking pretty tempting?”
fuck if she knows when they became friends.
but they are.
penelope isn’t careful around her.
she’s not afraid that lizzie will break and shatter to pieces.
she’s funny and she doesn’t blanch when lizzie makes jokes about the hand fate has dealt them.
and that makes for a nice change.
it's why lizzie dares to break the rules she's made for herself, and reaches for the piece of paper she's been carrying everywhere.
"if anything goes wrong, will you find out who wrote this?"
"we're going to discuss this, after sunday," penelope replies, but she nods, firmly.
so now, penelope park holds the key to her most dangerous secret.
but there's no one else she can trust.
certainly not her sister, who is being ridiculous.
"do you think i should tell landon about what we're planning?"
lizzie breathes, in and out. slowly. "no."
"he's my boyfriend, liz." lizzie doesn't like him, even if she can't quite place why.
he also cares more about the wolf version about raf than about josie.
which seems fair, because all josie really cares about is penelope.
"i'm calling twin code. you're not telling him."
she complains to the girl that night.
"i don't even know why she's dating landon," she says, pacing through the room. "they have nothing in common."
if she weren't in the middle of a rant, she might have seen the girl flinch.
but fuelled by her annoyance, she doesn't notice.
"be careful," the girl whispers, when the fog starts coming closer, "prison worlds don't generally hold safe things."
"i'll be fine," lizzie promises. "josie will be there. and penelope."
"even heroes are fallible," the girl reminds her, and then she disappears.
lizzie doesn't wake up immediately.
her dreams change, becoming far less tangible, and she can hear her own voice, on repeat.
"it's hero time," she says, and someone smiles at her and lizzie thinks she looks heartbreakingly familiar.
when she does wake up, it's almost noon.
she feels antsy and like she didn't even sleep at all.
restless.
"i'll be right behind you," penelope reminds her. "i've got an excellent invisibility charm lined up."
"if anything goes wrong, get josie out."
penelope nods, a solemn promise.
they leave well after darkness, the school already quiet behind them.
josie has the ascendant in her hands, and lizzie is carrying aunt bonnie's.
the clearing is darker than usual, the lunar eclipse almost in full effect already and lizzie shivers.
josie's hands are shaking as she drops the blood on the circle.
"don't spill it," lizzie warns.
"aunt bonnie would be mad if she knew," josie mutters and lizzie agrees.
of course, if josie ever finds out who's hidden in the shadows of the trees, there will be hell to pay, too.
it's easier than she expected. creating a portal, stepping into a world that mirrors their own.
and it's quiet there.
almost lovely.
of course, that is until they encounter the prisoner locked into this place.
he musters them, with calculating eyes.
"a family reunion," he finally says. the grin on his face is dangerous and cold and she hates him already.
"introductions, then," he continues, unfazed to see them there.
"i am your uncle kai. and you must be my dead sister's twins."
"this family reunion sucks," lizzie snarks, twenty minutes later, tied to a chair.
"you seem rather calm in the face of the fact that i'm going to leave you and your sister locked into a prison world."
lizzie shrugs. "it's a little bland, sure, but there's no ageing. no merge."
"you're willing to stay here just to live?"
"i like living," she says, "even here. and it doesn't seem like you have any knowledge about the merge."
"i might."
"you should tell us," josie says, nonchalant. "the least you could do after we're your key to freedom. we're family."
lizzie is utterly grateful that her sister's is so willing to go along with josie's horrible, improvised plan.
and they manage to convince him to tell them what he knows.
that the coven cursed itself, because they needed a more powerful leader.
he doesn't know why.
and he doesn't know how to break the curse.
doesn't think it should be broken.
"and now, my dear nieces, i'll be leaving you here, to discuss this for the rest of eternity."
he's about to move when a spell blasts him to the ground.
her first thought is that josie's going to be pissed.
her second is annoyance, when she's sped away back towards the portal.
they tumble out, pushed, and end up on the ground, and she can breathe a little easier when penelope and mg emerge behind them.
"close it," pen urges.
they close the portal.
and if she'd just kept her mouth shut, they might have been able to play it off. but: "you brought mg?" she asks penelope.
"sometimes you need a knife at a gun fight."
"i'm the knife," mg inserts, grinning, "because you're all witches and i'm a vampire."
"yeah," lizzie mutters, "we get it."
the world is about to go up in flames. "you knew penelope was here?" josie asks her, deadly calm.
in for a penny, in for a pound.
"i met her in paris. she was looking for a cure. we eventually agreed to combine forces."
the explosion doesn’t come.
“you left to look for a cure?” josie asks, her gaze focused solely on penelope.
like it’s just the two of them, standing here.
“i meant what i said when i left, jo-jo,” penelope says, “i‘m not going to sit around and watch something happen to you.”
the seconds pass and they stand there, staring at each other, the world around them forgotten.
the air lingers heavy with tension, until josie breaks the silence. “thank you,” she whispers.
her voice sounds colder when she speaks again. “we should get back.”
they walk back to the school in silence, the magic of the moment lost.
her sister may seem calm, but lizzie can feel the rage bubbling inside of her, searing.
and once they're back in their room, josie explodes. "how dare you? how dare you involve her in this?"
lizzie resists the urge to roll her eyes. "yes, because she wasn't involved already. she found out about the merge. she was already researching it."
"i don't want her involved."
"why not? if you're over her, it shouldn't matter. and if you're not, you should talk to her."
"i don't want to talk to her." tiny flames are spiralling up behind jo. lizzie watches them closely. "and i'm over her. i'm with landon."
this time, she can't suppress the snort of laughter that escapes her. "look, jo, she's willing to help and we need all the help we can get."
"we?" josie's voice sounds icy, now, and lizzie knows what she's about to say before she does. "did you tell her whose life she was saving?"
they've never said it out loud before.
that lizzie would die.
josie's hand flies to her mouth seconds later, regret obvious on her face.
lizzie sighs, stops josie's apology with a shake of her head. she feels drained, suddenly, more tired than before. "let's just sleep."
"but yes," she adds, because her sister does deserve the truth, "i told her. and i am sorry for not telling you why she came back."
"why?" josie asks her. "why did she come back?"
"i asked her to," lizzie replies. "but that's not why she came back, any you know it."
"why would you ask her?"
"because she loves you, whether you want to deal with it or not. and i don't want you to be alone."
they go to bed in silence.
there's nothing really left to say, for now.
and lizzie feels exhausted from tonight, and from everything that happened.
and she wants to sleep, needs to know if everything is still the same-
the girl isn't painting.
or reading.
it's not like usual.
she's pacing, moving through the room with hurried steps and when she sees lizzie, a smile breaks out across her face.
"you're alright," she says, and she sounds delighted, "i've been worried."
she's closer than she's ever been before, like lizzie could almost reach out and touch her, if she dared.
they sit on the bed this time, for the first time, and even though they're on opposite corners, lizzie feels closer.
she tells the girl about uncle kai, about everything.
she's ripped away from the dream world before she's finished the story of last night's happenings.
her name, called, again, and again, until she finally wakes up.
the first thing she hears is josie. "lizzie? are you awake?"
she sits up with a sigh. "i am now."
josie's voice from the other end of the room is quite.
"maybe i still have some feelings for her."
no shit, sherlock. lizzie breathes in and out, slowly regaining her focus. the distant memory of the girl still lingers.
"what are you going to do about it?" she asks.
"i'm with landon," josie says and lizzie is glad that her eye roll is hidden by the darkness.
her sister is a stubborn idiot.
"and he makes you feel like penelope does?"
a beat passes, two, before josie replies. "no. but it's a lot less scary."
"you deserve to be happy," lizzie says, "and you're not happy with him the way you were with penelope."
josie sighs. "i know. but - everything is different now. anyway," she interrupts herself, "we should sleep."
she can't believe she woke up for this.
the next morning is more than unpleasant. josie manages to be both apologetic and mad.
penelope looks skittish, like she's halfway ready to run off to belgium again.
and lizzie wants to go back to bed and fall asleep, look for the one person who makes her feel better.
she finds penelope in the back of the library, after classes.
"weren't sure you were going to show up, saltzman," she says.
"i couldn't deny you the pleasure of my company," lizzie replies.
"i wouldn't go quite that far," penelope mutters, but lizzie can see that she's smiling.
they're making notes of everything kai said, in the hope that it may or may not be useful.
"i imagined this more dramatic, somehow," josie says, from behind lizzie.
"jo-jo," penelope breathes out. "what are you doing here?"
"did you two really think you could keep me out of this? this is my life on the line, too."
"that's a new perspective," lizzie mutters.
"of course not," penelope replies, holding out a stack of papers. "we're writing down everything kai said."
it's pretty much how she'd imagine a gay version of a four hundred page past-century love story.
a lot of pining glances.
accidental touches when they're handing paper to each other.
they find out absolutely nothing. it's their most unproductive hour of research ever.
it just gets worse during the next week.
penelope keeps glancing at jo from under her lashes, smirking at her and josie keeps dropping things.
and jo throws her hair back and laughs too loud and penelope stares.
lizzie is exhausted.
the merge is looking better every second.
"don't you dare die on me, saltzman," the girl in her dreams orders, when says that.
lizzie laughs, feeling lighter, happier. "don't worry. i'm not that easy to get rid off."
the girl looks pensive. "i suppose you're not." and then she smiles. "i am very glad about that."
her dreams keep changing.
sometimes, the girl is there, and they're talking.
in the morning, lizzie remembers every moment.
treasures them all.
sometimes, they're blurry and distorted, images of a different life.
lizzie's memories are shifting.
nothing feels real anymore.
she distracts herself by planning her fall outfits.
at the top of the closet, she finds a dress, blue, embroidered, that mom gave to them years ago.
she traces her fingers over the material and bursts into tears and doesn't know why.
but she can't stop herself from crying.
she doesn't know how long she's been kneeling on the floor in tears when the door opens and penelope comes in.
"josie's not here," she forces out.
"i know," penelope kneels down on the floor next to her. "she's out with landon," the name sounds like a curse from her lips.
"why are you here?" she questions.
penelope shrugs, attempting nonchalance. "i felt like some company. why are you on the floor in tears over a blue ballgown?"
she doesn't want to tell anyone, wants to keep this secret forever and ever. but - "i think i'm going crazy."
"you don't seem more crazy than usual."
lizzie laughs through her tears. "that's lovely. you know how to cheer a girl up."
"as long as my notes about the merge have to be colour-coded, i reserve the right to call you whatever i'd like. now want to tell me what's going on?"
"i've been dreaming about this girl," she begins and penelope smirks.
"sex dreams? is this a gay panic? am i your gay guru?"
she glares at penelope. "want to turn that lob into a bob, park? no, not sex dreams."
"i was just asking."
"you should probably fix your own love life before volunteering to be anyone's guru," she adds with a smirk and penelope clasps a dramatic hand to her heart.
"harsh, saltzman, harsh. now, we've established, not sex dreams. tell me more."
so she tells penelope, about the dreams, about how they started when summer began.
about how she sees more and more and understands less and and less
"i don't think you're crazy," is the first thing penelope says, and lizzie breathes easier.
"this screams supernatural. we're witches."
lizzie rolls her eyes and feels a thousand times lighter. "i've never heard of anything like this," she objects.
"could be a lot of things. maybe some monster is messing with you. maybe she's your secret soulmate trying to reach you."
"thanks for the realism," lizzie groans.
"come on," penelope gets to her feet. "let's go to the library and research. maybe she's from a different universe and is trying to reach us."
"if she wanted me to know something, she could just tell me," lizzie complains, but gets up.
two hours later, they have a lot of theories, utterly implausible, when landon escorts josie into the library.
"don't tell her," lizzie requests - she'll tell her - she just needs more time.
"i can keep a secret."
"don't sound so proud, that's what got you into this mess."
penelope shoots a jinx her way in retaliation and lizzie siphons it away and they're both laughing by the time landon and josie reach them.
josie looks irritated, like she doesn't know how to react to the situation in front of her.
of course, then she meets penelope's eyes and they do this thing they've been doing where they just silently stare at each other for seconds, ignoring the world around them.
landon shifts slightly uncomfortably. "hello, lizzie."
- "go dog-sit your pet wolf, mophead."
"where's landon?" josie asks two minutes and thirteen seconds later.
lizzie tries breathing in and out. it doesn't work.
"he got uncomfortable watching you ogle penelope. i sent him to play catch."
"lizzie," they both chide simultaneously and stare at each other, blushing.
she gets up. "i need a break from the pining, i'll see you both later."
she's exhausted. it's not their fault.
she blames the dress. the way her memories keep shifting, like everything she knows is wrong.
on the top floor of the school, she finds the painting of the white wolf
it look majestic and tall, standing alone in the middle of the forest.
impressive.
and kind. if that's an attribute one can associate with a wolf.
but mostly, the wolf looks lonely.
lost.
and lizzie reaches for the painting, removes it.
she hangs it up in their room.
the girl is there, that night, and lizzie feels a smile cross her face.
she likes these dreams better than those that feel too much like unreal memories.
here, the girl is here, and lizzie tells her about her day, and they talk about magic, art, and everything under the sun.
this has become her safe place.
a haven, away from a world in turmoil, away from a school in upheaval, away from the mess of her sister's emotions.
away from the mess of her mind.
she always feels calmer, here.
like she is anchored more firmly to the ground.
stable.
she's early in the library next day, chooses a different corner and reads about dream spells and memories.
and wishes, wishes, wishes, that somehow, she could make this real.
the world feels more wrong with each day that passes.
they don't see her when they come in.
they're too caught up in each other, and penelope only spares her surroundings a cursory glance.
apart from the three of them, the library is empty. there is a wickery match today.
"i just want to know," josie argues.
"i don't see why it matters to you," penelope replies.
"just tell me, penny."
"jo," and penelope sounds exasperated, and so very, very tired, "you have a boyfriend, as you keep reminding me. why does it matter to you?"
josie paces between the stacks of books, silent for several seconds. "landon and i broke up," she confesses.
lizzie raises an eyebrow. this is certainly news to her.
"you two don't act like it," penelope comments, leaning against one of the shelves.
josie stumbles, slightly, over her words. "we agreed that we would wait to tell people for a bit."
"hedging your bets, jo-jo?"
josie blushes, looking down.
"you don't have to play the little angel with me, jo. i've always liked the not-so-innocent parts of you," penelope smirks.
lizzie wonders if she could pull of a non-verbal cloaking charm to get out of here, but there's not enough magic nearby.
"so," penelope asks, somehow sounding both casual and so, so invested, "when did you two break up?"
"after kai," josie mutters.
god, her sister is an idiot.
"that was weeks ago," penelope states.
"yes," josie confirms.
the library is absolutely silent, only the sounds of the match outside occasionally drafting in.
"will you tell me now?" josie questions.
penelope sighs. "yes, i was talking to my mother. she wants me to come to belgium."
"will you?" josie asks.
"no," pen says. her voice is quiet. "i'm staying this time."
"without a reason to stay?" josie asks.
"i was wrong. i already had a reason to stay. i thought i couldn't stand by and watch, but leaving hurt more.
you're always going to be all the reason i need to stay, jo-jo."
josie steps closer, until there's only inches between her and penelope.
"i was wrong, too," she whispers. "i should have given you a reason to stay. you deserved better."
a beat passes, then two. "i love you too, pen."
josie turns up in their room two hours later, grinning like lizzie hasn't seen her in a long, long time.
"about time," she comments.
josie glares at her, but she can't stop herself from smiling. "we're taking it slow."
"slow should probably button your blouse up properly."
it's a good day.
the sun shines even into the evening, and they have dinner outside, all of them, and josie and penelope hold hands under the table, and it's nice.
and lizzie looks around, feels like something is missing.
like their table is too empty.
like the school is.
when she wakes up - falls asleep - that night, it's not to the room.
instead, she's in a city she doesn't know, loud and filled with colour, vibrating.
she looks around, takes in flowers on balconies, music blasting through the air, people dancing.
and then she sees her.
she's dressed in black, a stark contrast to the colours around them, and a leather jacket clings to her body, hugging her just right.
and lizzie thinks that she looks good.
but that pales in comparison to the way her face brightens up when their eyes meet. "lizzie," she smiles.
she holds out her hand and lizzie reaches for it, lets herself be pulled, towards her.
it's the first time they've touched.
it feels like electricity, fire pulsing through her veins, and underneath the surface, she can feel strength and power.
calm, like an ocean.
"you're here," she says, and she sounds delighted.
"where are we?" lizzie questions.
"new orleans. it's mardi gras."
and lizzie lets herself be tugged through crowded streets, filled with celebration and life and laughter.
the girl never lets go of her hand.
when the night is almost over (she never wants it to end), when they've laughed and danced and eaten, they stumble into an empty mansion, and the girl leads her up the stairs.
the windows of the room are open, and on the street, lizzie can still see the bustle of people.
the girl lets go of her hand, and moves over to the other end of the room. lizzie stays at the window, watches, observes and turns around when the first sounds of music drift through the air.
the girl is standing in front of a gramophone, her hand stretched out.
"dance with me, lizzie," she requests, and lizzie steps closer, closer, lets the girl pull her into her arms.
a voice begins singing, and the girl swirls her through the room. "ella fitzgerald," she says, "my dad listened to her in chicago."
lizzie stores the information away.
they dance, and dance, and it feels like magic, electricity setting her body aflame, and the girl's presence, calming and powerful.
"witchcraft, wicked witchcraft," the voice from the gramophone sings and lizzie spins the girl, outwards, back.
"are you a witch, then?" she asks.
the girl smiles, mysterious, enigmatic, and lizzie thinks that she will deny her this answer.
"sometimes," she replies.
"me too," lizzie says. the girl laughs, and lizzie lets herself be twirled around and dipped.
the fog comes far, far too soon.
"sometimes," penelope mutters, shaking her head. "who the hell is a witch sometimes?"
lizzie rolls her eyes. "i am."
"no," penelope says. "you're always a witch. anyway, chicago in the fifties gives us something to go with. maybe she's from another time."
“tell me your name,” she requests that night.
they’re in new orleans again, in the room that looks down onto the street, but tonight, it’s silent outside.
the girl givers near the window and she seems torn, and lizzie waits, and waits.
“you can call me hope.”
lizzie wakes up with the name on her lips, a thrilling sense of exhilaration rushing through her.
this has never felt more real.
“hope,” she repeats into the silence. “hope.”
and she can’t help the smile that crosses her face. a name, and a promise.
josie rushes in three minutes before breakfast, frantically changing out of yesterday’s clothes while combing through her hair.
“just leave clothes there,” lizzie sighs.
“slow,” jo reminds her, sounding pretty judgmental considering she’s performing a masking spell on her neck.
lizzie‘s happy that josie is happy, really, truly.
but their research is stuck on all fronts, and that worries her more with every passing day.
they’re delving deeper and deeper into the history of the gemini, finding darker and darker secrets.
but the merge remains a mystery.
and maybe they would have never gotten anywhere, but josie gets bored of the research one day.
they’re in their room, and lizzie and penelope are still reading when she gets up to stretch their legs.
“liz,” she asks, “why’d you hang up a painting by hope mikaelson? who’s that?”
the book lizzie has been holding drops to the ground, a clatter, a bang.
penelope sits up, glancing between them.
josie is standing in front of the picture, her gaze fixed on the lower left corner.
"there's a name on it?" lizzie asks, trying to contain her excitement.
hope.
she hurries over, and sees the tiny lettering, in the upper right corner.
an unusal position.
hope mikaelson.
"this might be something," she whispers, and penelope, now standing next to her, nods.
"it might be."
"why are we excited about a name on a painting?" josie asks.
she glances between them. josie, curious, intrigued. penelope, hesitant, like she doesn't want to say too much.
lizzie doesn't even know where to begin, just sends pen a pleading glance.
penelope nods. "your sister's been dreaming about a girl - not sex dreams-"
lizzie laughs.
josie listens attentively, reaches out halfway through the story to place a hand on lizzie's shoulder.
it's comforting.
"pen's right," she says, "none of this sounds crazy. it sounds magical."
silence lasts for several beats before josie shoots up, hurries to her dresser.
her hand glows red for several seconds and lizzie wonders just how many locking charms she had on that drawer.
she pulls out a book, red and weathered.
next to lizzie, penelope sits up. "you kept that?"
josie turns around. "i thought it might be useful. at some point."
"what is that?" lizzie asks.
"someone," josie throws a pointed glance at penelope, "gave everyone enchanted pens that copied whatever they wrote in here."
"that's morally questionable, park," lizzie teases.
"you're just annoyed that your spy systems require human interaction."
maybe.
"or i have standards."
"sure," penelope mutters. "besides, i don't even have a new system running yet. i'm bettering myself."
"don't start one," josie orders.
"they call that being whipped, not being better," lizzie grins and siphons away the charm pen sends her way.
"maybe there's something in here," josie suggests. "some mention of her."
and so they read.
and read.
and the pieces of lizzie's mind, the broken parts and the hidden memories, they finally, finally make sense.
a jigsaw puzzle falling into place.
lizzie doesn’t move when they’re down, just sits on the floor, feels disbelief.
she almost wishes she hadn’t tossed her pen, wishes she could read her own thoughts about hope mikaelson.
but then, she doesn’t really need to.
her memories are trickling back, one after another.
hope mikaelson.
nature's loophole.
her ally. her enemy. her friend.
the girl she -
she's tried to be hope's friend.
most of her life.
she's hated her.
for the most horrible years.
and she was her friend.
for weeks.
(all her life, she has loved hope mikaelson.)
"she jumped into malivore," she whispers. "she jumped into malivore."
and erased herself from existence.
it's the only logical conclusion.
hope's blood healed josie. she must have jumped, or they wouldn't have forgotten her.
but she didn't die.
and now, lizzie remembers.
she explains in hurried words, stumbling over her own sentences, as they tear through the books in the library.
lizzie can't -
she doesn't want hope to be stuck in hell for even a second longer.
doesn't want this for her.
wants her back.
back home.
she doesn't tell hope that she knows.
it takes all her will power not to do it.
not to rush through the room, hug hope, never let her go again.
but she can't.
can't promise the girl who has lost everything that they'll save her.
and doesn't quite trust that she will let them.
she barely sleeps anymore, anyway.
she spends most of her day in the library now, seeking a solution.
she’s playing with fire.
she feels light headed, jittery, elated.
she knows what that means.
but it’s far too easy to throw her sanity into the ring to get hope out of hell.
josie would notice, normally.
josie has always noticed.
but she’s still researching the merge, and her nights are usually spent in penelope’s room now, and lizzie needs to find a way to get hope out of there.
and so this time, josie doesn’t notice.
she finds a semblance of quiet in the stolen moments she has with hope, when she does sleep.
hope seems to sense that something is up, but doesn’t press.
and so lizzie stretches out on the bed, watches hope paint.
she can see the woods clearly, now.
can see herself.
and hope.
penelope finds her, late one night in the library, hunched over ancient times.
“go to bed, saltzman, you look like you could use a good nights sleep.”
but lizzie shakes her head. “come here, read this.”
it takes penelope almost twenty minutes to read through the pages.
finally, she looks up. “i’m not saying it couldn’t work, but are you out of your mind, saltzman?”
yes, she thinks, silently.
penelope presses a hand to her forehead, bent over the tiny lettering.
“this is a huge gamble,” she finally says. “and josie isn’t going to like it.”
“what am i not going to like?” josie questions, emerging from the shadows.
“your sister wants to throw herself into hell in the hopes that her connection with this girl is strong enough to be able to pull her out.”
“you could have phrased that better,” lizzie mutters.
"that's exactly your plan," penelope says. "there's not much to sugarcoat."
lizzie focuses on her sister. "there's a spell. it opens the portal to hell and lets me enter.
and if you guys anchor me, then i stay bound to this earth. and if hope is anchored to me, we can leave."
josie's not happy.
not happy at all.
they argue about it for four hours, but lizzie is doing this.
with or without her sister.
when she says that much, josie finally sags to the ground, the rays of the rising sun hitting her face.
"fine," she groans. "let's do it."
there are a lot of problems.
the spell requires family, friend and foe.
"i thought you'd have more enemies," penelope sighs.
"i still think you could fill the position," lizzie mutters.
"you just want to force me to say it again."
"yes," lizzie smirks.
penelope rolls her eyes. "i consider you to be a friend, saltzman. albeit an annoying one."
lizzie chuckles, feels a little lighter for a moment.
they also need some kind of entrance, some kind of portal she can actually use.
there are a lot of problems.
some of them have surprising solutions.
she walks into the kitchen at three, and the ominous light of the moon catches on the counter.
"it's past your bedtime, pedro. way past!"
he spins around to face her. "i've been waiting for you, lizzie."
she steps closer, concerned.
he holds out a piece of paper. "here's your map. it's a dangerous voyage, lizzie."
as soon as she takes it, he jumps off the counter.
"good luck," he adds, slips out of the room.
and she remembers, now, what her father told her about pedro's coven, guardians of the underworld.
"who knew the kid had it in him," penelope mutters, stretched out on josie's bed.
it's just the two of them. josie's in town, meeting with dad.
"you still need a foe," she adds, "and i was thinking maybe we could use landon."
lizzie sits up on her own bed. "landon?"
pen shrugs. "i know it's not ideal, but i read through the book again, and at least you don't like him. you're kind of competitors. and, as established, you lack enemies, saltzman."
"competitors?"
"you were both in love with her."
"i'm - why would you-," lizzie stutters.
penelope's voice borders on gentle. "i'm not an idiot. have you listened to yourself talk about her?
and i read about magical connections, about why you remember, about your dreams. you need serious emotions to anchor someone to this dimension if they're in another one."
"that can be a platonic connection," lizzie argues. "i read the texts too."
"is it?" penelope asks.
lizzie bites down on her lips.
she knows.
she's known for years.
but she's never said it.
"no," she admits.
so, landon it is. he agrees easily to their half-baked plan.
but he insists on bringing the dog.
mg wants to come, too. “monsters might show up while you’re doing the spell,” he argues.
he has a point.
kaleb refuses to let him go alone.
slowly, the plan starts taking shape.
she spends the night before pacing through their room.
reads every single book again.
checks on every object they've assembled.
she's running on fumes, but she won't let this plan fail.
this is their shot.
in the middle of the night, she falls into restless sleep.
hope is there. they lie on the bed next to each other, almost touching.
this might still be a trick of her mind, but it could be real.
she has to try.
the fog is closing in on them when she shifts, cups hope's face in her hands. "trust me," she pleads. "please come with me."
before she can hear a reply, she wakes up.
josie is standing next to her. "it's time to go," she says, her voice quiet.
lizzie nods, gets out of bed.
jo lingers just as they're about to leave. "here," she says, "i wanted to give you this."
there's a locket in her hands.
"the book said that hope gave this to me," her sister explains, "and i thought you might want to wear it."
she moves her hair and josie fastens the locket around her neck. "i'm not exactly quiet."
her sister chuckles. "it can't hurt to be as loud as possible, today."
they drive for three hours until they're at the beach pedro's map has led them to.
the skies darken above them, and almost black waves splash across the shore.
and lizzie can feel that they're here.
that this is it.
they assemble everything on the beach.
above them, thunder crashes.
"be careful. remember if you loose your connection to one of us, you have to come back," penelope reminds her, before pulling her into a hug, quick and sudden.
"i'll be fine," lizzie promises.
they open the portal, easy enough, and lizzie takes her place in the middle of the triangle josie, penelope and landon form.
they begin chanting.
she's siphoning from the earth. there's more than enough power flowing through it, here.
and then darkness envelops her.
it's nothing but emptiness, miles and miles stretching out ahead of her.
she can still sense jo and pen and landon behind her, her ties to the world.
but she steps away from them, looking, seeking, searching.
nothing seems to be in front of her, but she keeps moving.
she walks and she runs and she searches.
she can't sense landon anymore, and her connection to penelope is getting weaker and she knows she should turn back, but she can't.
"hope," she whispers into the darkness, and there is no response, and she tries, again and again.
and she knows that she has to return.
she can barely feel josie anymore, the twin bond the only thing still anchoring her.
but she can't give up.
"hope," she screams, and screams, and walks, and walks, and finally, she can sense something.
someone.
josie's voice is pleading with her through the remnants of their connecting, begging her to return.
but lizzie pushes forward, and forward.
until she can reach out.
reach hope.
"come with me," she pleads.
and together, they move back.
josie feels far away, almost out of reach, but lizzie rushes towards her, never, never letting go of hope.
minutes pass, or maybe hours, and the darkness is encroaching around them and she focuses and focuses and finally, there is a shimmer of light visible in the distance.
they stumble and they fall and she never lets go.
under her, she can feel the sandy ground.
and lizzie forces her eyes open, still half-expects the darkness.
the first thing she sees is hope.