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"๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฏ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด ๐ค๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ... ๐๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ข๐บ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฎ. ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ณ๐บ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ-"
"Changkyun what are you doing in here?" Changkyun's mother interrupted and tried to rip from his hands the notebook his great grandma Edie had given as a parting gift.
"It's mine!" changkyun said "mom let go you're gonna rip it!"
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'๐ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ค๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต... ๐๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ข๐จ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ข๐ณ... ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ข๐ธ ๐จ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ข ๐๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐น๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ท๐ข๐ฏ ๐ค๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต... ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐บ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ.
๐๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต... ๐๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ ๐ต๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ช๐ต. ๐ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ธ ๐บ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ด ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฃ๐บ, ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ต... ๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ช๐ค๐ฌ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ต.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐บ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ช๐ค๐ฌ๐ญ๐บ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ... ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต... ๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ข๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ง๐ต ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ.'
Changkyun closed the notebook and traced the edges... he let out a sigh before looking up and realising he was almost at his stop. After his mother died she left him a key, which he hoped would be to the house he grew up in...
As changkyun got closer to the house he became more paranoid... Coming back here felt like both the most natural thing and the scariest thing in the world. As he walked down the familiar path and the house came into view he couldn't describe what he felt... Seeing the house after all these years was crazy... The disaster of a house, filled with memories both nice and so painful... Mostly painful. As a child the house made him feel something he didn't understand, but now returning as a 22 year old, he knew exactly what that feeling was... Scared, he was scared of the house... There was just too much of it, like a smile with too many teeth... It wasn't right.
The key didn't open the front door like he had hoped, he had to go through the doggy door in the garage like when he was a child... Playing with... Him...
Coming back changkyun was ready to explore and find all the stories of how his family died, something his mother tried so hard to keep from him... The im family believed they were cursed. And looking at their history it became harder and harder for anyone to deny everyday... One heartbreaking death after another... It felt like the world thought
they were a mistake and wanted them gone, changkyun agreed most of the time.
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Changkyun spent hours fumbling his way around the house, his mother had closed off most of the rooms when they lived here. She was always scared of the curse, unlike grandma Edie, who retaliated by drilling peep holes in the doors. The house was built by his great grandfather Sven, there was secrets all over this house, which as a child he loved and right now was the only way he could access most of the rooms... His mother didn't know about most of them... Changkyun hated the way his mother hid everything from him as a child and didn't understand her fear but now, finding out everything... He gets it... She had lost so much... And now so had he... This family was and still is a disaster, even with him being the only one left.
suicide, disappearing, killed in an earthquake, knocked off a cliff by a deer, swung off a cliff in the wind, crushed, drowned, murdered, poisoned, hit by a train after hiding in the basement almost his whole life... '๐๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ'๐ด ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ช๐ต'๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ถ๐ด ๐ฉ๐ข๐ด ๐จ๐ฐ๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ ๐ง๐ข๐ณ'... '๐๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ช๐ญ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ?'
Changkyun stares down at his notebook while sitting in the cluttered but somehow also empty living room, it had gotten dark fast and all he had was candle light... It was cold but he didn't care anymore... He sat there for awhile, he couldn't stop thinking about the other reason he came back to town... The person he realised he had really been writing the notebook for... Lee Jooheonโฆ The boy he met at music school as a child, Jooheon was a couple years older than Changkyun, but they never cared... He was Changkyun's only friend back then, everyone else was too scared to be involved with the boy from the cursed Im family. He was one of the very few people outside of the family who ever came to the house, they would play for hours and Changkyun would show him all the secrets of the house he knew at the time. He was always happy when Jooheon was around... After Changkyun and his mother left he and Jooheon stayed in touch, he never told his mother since she was wary about Changkyun befriending anyone with them having this family "curse". But over the years as they both grew older, even just through texts and emails, they grew closer then ever... Things slowly became different... The way they would talk to each other, the sweet loving things they would say... It was the only true affection Changkyun had ever known... No matter what anyone says, Changkyun knows there was something more than a friend in Jooheonโฆ But then one day, a couple years ago, everything stopped... It felt like Jooheon had disappeared, no emails, no texts, no loving messages... nothing, he was gone and Changkyun felt alone... Now with his mother gone and no one else that Changkyun would allow in his life... He was truly all alone... But at this point it felt normal, like it was the only safe choice... So why did it have to hurt so much... Why did Jooheon leave?, did he grow bored?... Meet someone else to replace him?... Or did he-... Changkyun couldn't even think about it... After experiencing so much death he thought he would be used to this but the thought of it being Jooheonโฆ He couldn't handle it... Changkyun got up and blew out the candles.
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He slowly stumbled his way into town, trying to ignore all the bad thoughts eating him up... He looked down at the (:) tattoo on his hand, Changkyun had always been a "mystery" as his elders would say, and now he agreed, he was a mystery to himself, he didn't even know who he was anymore... A rain drop falling on his hand snapped him out of his thoughts, followed by others, wetting his black hair, he wasn't bothered by the rain now. Changkyun continued down the streets not really sure where his destination was until he saw the bar at the end of the road, 'why not' he thought, alcohol is probably the best choice right now...
he pushed open the door gently and sat down after ordering a drink. He just stared down at the dark liquid... Everything hurt... Everyday is worse than the last, he doesn't have his disaster family, he doesn't have any friends, he makes music but that stopped bringing him joy a long time ago... And he's probably never gonna see Jooheon again... Changkyun stopped when he noticed the person sat at the table in front of him was someone very familiar... He was sure it was him, a family friend of Jooheon'sโฆ Hyunwooโฆ Son Hyunwoo? He was sat with a much older man, who looks like his father? He wasn't sure, it had been a long time... Hyunwoo was always kind, but like most people, as a child he often stayed away out of fear. Changkyun didn't blame him, his thoughts were cut short when he heard Hyunwoo mention someone, someone he hadn't been able to get out of his head... "Things have just been so different since Jooheon has been gone... Me and Kihyun are thinking of moving to the city-" Changkyun stopped listening after "๐จ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ".... Jooheonโฆ Is gone... Changkyun felt himself shutting down... He knew it, he was terrified of the thought but Jooheon is... Dead... He shakily stood up and rushed out of the bar.
Hyunwoo stopped talking as he saw his father looking slightly shocked, then continued "what's wrong?"
"Was that... Im Changkyun? I thought I would never see the boy again... I thought in the back of my mind he would be dead... my god" Hyunwoo's father said. Hyunwoo's eyes widened, Changkyun?! Jooheon had been wanting to contact him for awhile and now he's in town... While Jooheon is here visiting too? It's like fate... "Dad I have to go, i'm sorry".
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Changkyun somehow dragged himself back to the house and made his way all the way to the top, his old bedroom... It was cold, everything was cold and empty... He knew it was gonna come to this... With his tear stained face, shaky hands, and broken heart, he sat down on the bed and put his bag down after taking out his notebook he had been writing all day for Jooheon, he put pen to paper and wrote the final words...
'๐'๐ฎ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ด๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด. ๐๐ง ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ฎ๐ข๐บ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ'๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด
๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ข๐ด ๐ช๐ต ๐ช๐ด, ๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ณ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฆ๐บ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ง ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด... ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ด๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ... ๐๐ถ๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต, ๐ ๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐จ๐ข๐ช๐ฏ... ๐๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฎ๐บ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ ๐จ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด ๐ช๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ญ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ, ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ... ๐ ๐ธ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ฅ๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ญ๐บ... ๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐จ๐ข๐ฏ. ๐'๐ฎ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต. ๐ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ'
With tears streaming down his face he put the notebook on the bed next to him and then reached into his bag, pulling out the container full of pills... He stopped to look at the photos of him and his family... And the few photos of him and Jooheonโฆ He was at least happy to be with them soon...
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Jooheon's heart was beating hard, for two reasons, one, changkyun, two, it's a bit of a long way out to the im house from town and he had been running in the rain for awhile to get to his kyunnie. '๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ด ๐ช๐ต', he thought, '๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ง๐ณ๐ข๐ช๐ฅ, ๐ช ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ง๐ข๐ค๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต... ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ง๐ข๐ค๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต, ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ... ๐๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ'๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐จ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ...' Jooheon shook himself out of his thoughts as he almost slipped over in the rain and continued running.
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Changkyun opened the container and poured out some pills, he stared at them for a few seconds before reaching his other hand out and picking some up until he heard stomping in the house below him... he gulped and dropped the pills.
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Jooheon sighed and a smile spread across his face when he reached the house and saw at the very top, that Changkyun's old bedroom was the only light coming from the old unique house... "it's true... He's really here" he said aloud. he tried the front door only to find it locked so he made his way to the other entrance he knew, the doggy door in the garage.
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The stomping was getting louder, changkyun didn't know what to do, he just sat listening to his own breathing getting louder until "Changkyun!!" his breath caught in his throat for a second..."Changkyun?!"... "Jooheonโฆ?" he whispered to himself... was it really him? Or was he somehow already dead? "CHANGKYUN!!!" he snapped out of his thoughts and suddenly ran to the door and towards Jooheon's voice. He came to a sudden stop when he saw him, right there, Lee Jooheon, was staring back at him, his blonde soaked hair trailing down his beautiful face... his eyes twinkling... Changkyun could just see him in the moonlight leaking through the window... "Changkyun.." Jooheon said so softly, slowly walking towards him... he noticed the state kyun was in and began to reach out for his hand until Changkyun let out a sob and fell into Jooheon, continuing to let his tears fall onto Jooheon's already soaked clothes, he felt warm arms wrap around him, everything around was cold, but for first time in a long time, Changkyun felt warm... he felt safe... he was alive... Jooheon was standing right here holding him... all Changkyun has ever known is death, but was he so hopeless that the word gone only meant death to him now? Why did he jump to conclusions- "I'm sorry kyun"... changkyun reluctantly pulled away and stared into his eyes, "what..?"... "I'm sorry I abandoned you... I didn't want to im so sorr-" Jooheon's voice sounded like he was fighting off tears... "L-let's talk upstairs... it's dark here..".
Changkyun turned around and Jooheon followed him like a puppy up into the old bedroom... Once they were inside Jooheon couldn't help but realise how small the room felt, had it been that long... Had they grown so much? Changkyun did look so different... So beautiful but yet so cute... He couldn't help but notice the empty bottle and pills on the bed... '๐ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ'
"I... I thought you were... Dead..." Changkyun quietly stated.
Jooheon furrowed his eyebrows "what why?!"
"I overheard that guy Hyunwoo say you were "gone" and I-" Jooheon cut him short,
"kyun I only moved to the city... I came back to visit and then Hyunwoo told me you were here, I had no idea and rushed over... I have some explaining to do..." He motioned to the bed and they both moved to sit down.
"Changkyun, after you moved away I stopped talking to a lot of people, I missed you so much, you were my best friend. I would spend almost all of my time either talking to you or thinking about you and my parents started to worry, so one day my mother went into my emails and looked at our conversations... She saw the way we talked to each other and asked me if... If, I was gay..." Jooheon stopped for a few seconds and looked Changkyun in the eyes "I told her the truth, yes... I'm gay... But, her and my father, they didn't like that... They cut me off from you, said I needed to fix myself... I hated it so much kyun, not being there for you, not having you to talk to... but I didn't have a choice... or at least I didn't feel that I did. I was scared of the lengths they would go to, to try and make me straight again, so I went along with it and pretended... It was the worst year of my life Changkyunโฆ I finally managed to leave and I moved to the city to start a new life... I wanted to contact you, but... I guess I was too scared, that you would hate me for leaving, or maybe I was reading into your words too much and maybe you would hate me for the feelings I had for you... But I have to stop being a coward and tell you, I love you, so much fucking much Changkyun, I feel like I always have, it's always been you... Us... We're like yin and yang, we fit together so perfectly... I need you kyun, I hope you can forgive me... I want you in my life."
Changkyun couldn't speak for a moment... he just stared into jooheon's eyes... and he felt tears running down his face again... "I-I don't hate you... I love you more than I thought I could love any person..." He stopped to take a deep breath and Jooheon reached out to wipe the tears from Changkyun's cheeks "I came back here after my mother died, I wanted to learn the history of my family, I wanted to write everything down but I wasn't sure who I was writing to and then I realised its for you, I just wanted you to know my story, I wanted to see you one last time... Jooheon having me in your life isn't good... What if I drag you into this crazy so called curse? I'm bad to be around, I'm bad to love, it will only cause us both pain and death... I'm a walking disaster just like the rest of my family... like we always have been... I love you too much to let whatever it is kill you with me..." he trailed off. Jooheon grabbed both of Changkyun's hands and held them in his "Kyunnie, I want to be with you, even if it kills me. Whatever it is, paranoia from a series of unfortunate events, or an actual curse, I'm ready for it. I'm going to appreciate and love all of you. I don't mind if we only have a year left, or a month, or a single week, I would be happy with one new day with you, my soulmate." they stared at eachother softly, with so much love it felt like it was physically overflowing from their bodies, Changkyun had never felt this before... someone fighting for him, loving him unconditionally... all he could manage was "... okay, honey hyungโฆ" Jooheon pulled one of his hands free and reached up to place it on Changkyun's still tear stained cheek, pressing their soft and slightly cold lips together...
For the first time in a long time, they were both happy and Changkyun had something he never imagined he would...
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he had hope.