Chapter Text
Sunday, 1st of December
Dan’s POV
Dan’s desire to be different than other people did not extend as far as that he would wrestle with iOS technology to get rid of the hellishly annoying, mundane ringtone and install something that would represent his personality.
That was why Dan was now woken by a series of shrill tones.
Dan angrily silenced his phone and let his head fall back onto the mattress. The cushion had relocated at some place during the night which was why the fall was a lot longer than Dan had bargained for. He was, however, in enough of a sleepy state to not let this instance wake him completely.
For eight horrible more minutes, Dan fell asleep once again.
Who on earth had decided that eight minutes was the default setting for the snooze time?
Dan fumbled with his phone and put the alarm out for real, immediately setting one for the next day that was five minutes earlier. That way he could snooze twice, maybe.
He should have tried to stop himself from snoozing, but all humans were flawed. It just so happened that this was one of the areas Dan was flawed in.
Dan named the alarm ‘gte uo as sono as possbl’ which he would not read when the alarm rang the next morning, but he would have felt uncomfortable not naming it.
As much as the ringtone annoyed Dan, he did not change it. It made him spite society and that was the perfect way to start your day as a barista.
Dan clicked out of the possible ringtones with a groan when he saw that the default one was called ‘Radar’.
He kicked his legs out of the bed and rubbed his eyes.
Something cold and slimy touched his eyes and set Dan screaming. Blindly, he put the light on and inspected his hand.
A big sigh of relief fell from Dan’s lips when he discovered that the slimy thing on his index finger was glue that was a mere two stages away from hardening completely and being harder than granite.
Finally, defeat settled in with Dan. He stood up and made his way over to his small bathroom.
Just for the record, not even for Dan was it normal to wake up with dried glue on his finger at 5 am on a Sunday morning.
Dan had enough sanity left to be aware that this might seem weird for some people.
To be fair, he thought it was weird himself.
The reason why Dan had woken up in such a state was no one other than Ash. Or Ashley. Or Ash-girl. Not Ash-Bird though, that was, interestingly enough where Phil put the line.
Dan was not to call Phil’s precious offspring Ash-Bird.
Dan thought that was really unfair, considering that he had not had the disastrous idea of naming a living and breathing human being Phoenix.
Phil had tried to justify the mother’s decision, but nothing could convince Dan that the woman in question was a complete nutjob.
Phoenix. Really?
A bird that was reborn from its own ashes? That was not a name to give your new-born daughter.
Dan’s silent form of protest was never calling Ash by her initially given name.
Phil continuously pointed out that Dan’s form of protest was anything but silent, but judging by the fact that Phil had started calling his daughter Phiphi ever since he was left in the sole charge of her did show Dan that Phil might not be all too opposed to the idea of giving Ash a set of new names that one did not necessarily cringe at whenever they were uttered out loud.
So, because of his best friend’s daughter, Dan had woken up at ass-crack of dawn with glue on his hand.
A little bit of additional explanation might not be amiss at this point.
Phil had become a single parent with the sudden departure of the nutjob two weeks before he turned 32. The nutjob had not so much departed as that she had travelled to Phil’s place to dispose of her daughter and then leave herself, not to be heard of again for more than half a year.
Dan had been furious at her then, and he was just as furious whenever he thought of it since.
That was not to say that Dan wanted Phil, the nutjob, and Ash-girl to form a happy family. He was not alone in that either.
The reason Dan was so furious was that the nutjob had taken the coward’s way out, thrusting all responsibility at Phil. She could not have known that Phil would prove himself to be the best dad the world has ever seen.
Seeing that Ashley had spent the first months of her life with her mother, Dan was now determined to make her first proper Christmas a real event.
Dan was even willing to make huge sacrifices in order for Ash to have a special time.
Sunday marked a week since he had last seen either Ash herself or Phil. This was, not to be dramatic, the biggest sacrifice he had ever had to make in all his 28 years of life.
Dan had had the idea to ensure that Ashley’s Christmas was special on her birthday back in October. That had given him enough time to prepare something and be done in good time in order to enjoy the festive time himself, theoretically.
Of course, what had happened was that Dan had spent ages racking his brains for something to do. Finally, in the middle of November he had had a good idea but had somehow decided it would be great to wait with putting it into action until the last week of November.
What Dan had thought of had been an Advent Calendar. Not any calendar. A personalised A to Z of X-Mas for Ashley-girl.
This was, without exaggerating in the slightest, the project he had put most work in. He had nearly slept through one of his A-levels.
This was big. This had taken every creative bone he possessed.
Thankfully, everything had worked out.
Dan was proud of his work. So proud, in fact, that he would not at all mind this being considered his Magnum Opus. He would happily leave all the future literary fame to the real expert.
If someone should be literary successful (mind you, not literally) it should be Phil who was already getting paid for his written works as it was. Dan was essentially getting paid not to ever write anything again.
The one time he had tried to be creative, back when he had first moved up the food chain to store manager of the adequately sized Costa, he had the great idea to create new slogans.
The best he had come up with had been ‘Costa lot less’. It had needed a hearty laughing fit from Phil to show that this clever slogan was easily reduced to its first two words. Dan had nipped the whole slogan thing in the bud.
This did not stop Phil from saying ‘lot’ whenever Dan was stupid enough to use the name of the coffee chain he worked for.
Dan splashed water into his face after he had successfully got rid of the glue on his fingers. Thinking about Phil and Ash had already put the hint of a smile onto his face.
Now, finished with washing, Dan returned to his bedroom and switched the ceiling light on.
A full-blown smile appeared on his face as soon as he spotted his creation. Everything about the box in front of him looked a little wobbly, but he had poured his heart in and hopefully that would show to other people too.
Dan did not think he needed to be afraid of Phil’s reaction. They were best friends. He would know this meant a lot to Dan. He would most importantly also see that this was for Ashley. Phil loved his little girl more than anything else in the world.
No, Dan did not need to worry about Phil’s reaction to something he had made especially for Ashley.
Dan got dressed and quickly forced himself to eat an apple.
He left his apartment after checking he had all the keys he could possibly need, so to say, the keys for Costa, his own apartment and Phil’s.
Dan hurried to the bus stop and pulled his jacket a little tighter around him. This December was truly mercilessly cold.
Not that November had been any better, but Dan had spent so much time inside in the past week that the fresh and crispy air hit him especially hard.
The bus arrived and Dan sat down.
It had been a sensible idea not to take Ashley’s Advent Calendar, also known as Ashley’s X-Mas A to Z, or even Ashley’s X-Mas Extravaganza.
Dan was too tired to hold onto the box and anticipate the jolts the bus would cause. No, he would finish his shift at Costa and then go back home quickly to collect the box and then make his way to Phil’s apartment.
This was in no way an unusual series of events but considering how withdrawn Dan had been the week before, he decided it would be best to text Phil and actually ask for permission.
Good morning Phil!
I know you’re not up yet, but I wanted to ask
real quick if I can come around later – 9ish
at latest.
Dan put his phone away and stared out of the window, letting a stream of lights move past him.
He did not expect Phil to answer straight away, in fact, he would have probably started being concerned if Phil had replied at half past five on a Sunday morning.
Dan arrived at Costa. He opened the door and put on the lights. He had a few minutes to get the place ready and then the poor souls on their way to work would start flooding the café. Yes, even on a Sunday.
Five minutes before the first regulars were sure to arrive, Dan’s colleague Cameron fell through the door. Dan was not terribly mad that he had prepared the café on his own, as that meant he could easily leave five minutes early and take the bus that did not go on an unnecessary detour.
Dan got through his shift as well as he could. He did not dislike his work, far from it, but it was difficult to avert his thoughts from the box that was waiting in his apartment for him to take to Ashley and Phil.
His shift came to a close, and Dan was finally able to wave at his colleague, who raised a hand in reply and continued making another latte.
On his way out of the café, Dan met another colleague, smiled at them, mumbled something about a bus he needed to catch and finally was able to make his way into the general direction of his apartment.
As soon as he was seated in the bus, Dan took out his phone and saw, with a stupid smile already in place, that he had new messages from Phil.
Dan!
Is this code for you being abducted?
Full sentences?
Kidding, unless you’re not. In that case
I am deeply sorry.
You know the drill, bring something baked
and this house is yours.
Dan grinned at his phone. He felt the last bit of tiredness leave him as he reread Phil’s texts.
Just left costa.
On my way. Will be there soon.
LOT
Dan rolled his eyes and put his phone back into his pocket. Somehow, the bus journey back to his apartment was always quicker than the one to work.
Dan left the bus at the next stop and rushed to his apartment. He collected the box, quickly putting it into a big M&S bag and then making his way over to another bus stop that would take him straight to Phil’s home.
It was not at all weird to have this bus schedule as well memorised as the one he needed for work. It was coincidence if anything.
Phil would have opened the door for Dan even if Dan had not bought any baked goods, but as he was at least as hungry as he imagined Phil to be, he left the bus one stop early and bought brioche buns that were still a little warm.
Armed with the brioche buns, Dan made his way to Phil’s apartment. He was excited to see his two favourite humans again.
Also, he had just climbed the stairs. The second fact was obviously what had caused his heart to speed up. Nobody needed to think that was because of Phil.
The door was opened, and Phil smiled at him with an alert looking Ashley on his arm.
“Tea is almost ready. I’ll give it another two minutes at most.” Phil stepped aside and waved for Dan to come inside.
“Phiphi and I missed you.”
Dan was amazed that Phil thought he could just say something like that.
Dan kicked his shoes off, took a deep breath and followed Phil and Ash into the kitchen.
Phil’s POV
So far, Phil’s favourite month of the year had been May.
That had been when Phiphi had first started sleeping reliable long stretches of time. She had slept decently before too, but it had taken Phil a long time to get used to her sleeping schedule.
Long nights and early mornings were common. Somehow, Phil found long nights induced by a wailing child harder to bear than when he just stayed up reading, writing or watching something.
Maybe, hearing Phiphi wail was more of an ordeal because Phil’s heart throbbed painfully whenever she did that.
The days where she woke up in the middle of the night were thankfully over now though. Ever since May, it only happened rarely that Phil was woken up by a crying Phiphi.
Phil was a festive person and had looked forward to Christmas at least since the 19th of October. Once Phiphi’s birthday was over, Phil felt it was appropriate to look forward to the abundance of hot drinks, biscuits and other festivities.
With being in favour of the whole festive episode, Phil had thought that December was a good contender for favourite month of the year, but right at this moment, it did not seem like anyone else shared that opinion.
December started with a crying Phiphi.
Phil sat up in his bed immediately. He rubbed his eyes and grabbed for his glasses on the bedside table. He was doing so blindly and subsequently had an array of fingerprints on the glass.
Phil tumbled into Phiphi’s room and picked her up. He rubbed her back comfortingly and rocked her gently.
Phiphi soon calmed down and the tears stopped flowing.
“Did you have a nightmare, Phiphi?” Phil asked and stroked the still wondrously tiny head.
Phiphi yawned and let her head fall against Phil’s shoulder.
“Let’s try and sleep some more.” Phil said and carried Phiphi to his room.
Phil climbed onto the bed and somehow wrestled with the blanket so that it was lying around his shoulders. Phil placed Phiphi in his lap and covered her with the ends of the blanket.
Before long, Phiphi was sleeping again. Phil leaned his head against the headboard, but he had never found it terribly easy to fall asleep sitting up.
Phil waited until he was certain that Phiphi had settled down before he grabbed his phone.
It was quarter to seven in the morning.
Phil might have been happier not to know that actually.
There was nothing he could do about that now, though.
Phil’s eyes trailed away from the time and landed on a message he had received from Dan.
To say that Phil was relieved would not have been enough. For about a week, Dan had hardly ever replied to a text Phil had sent, and he had never come around.
Phil did not know what had happened for Dan to behave that way, but he was more than happy to have him back.
Dan’s text said:
Good morning Phil!
I know you’re not up yet, but I wanted to ask
real quick if I can come around later – 9ish
at latest.
Phil started smiling and typing. It took a little while to send his replies to Dan because Phil’s left hand was lying on Phiphi’s tummy, and Phil knew better than to try and take it away.
Eventually, Phil was done and happy with his messages. For anyone reading his texts it might have seemed a little rude to demand Dan brought something to eat but that was just Phil’s way of inviting Dan to have breakfast with Phiphi and himself.
Also, this was probably what was kindest on Dan. Not acknowledging that Phil thought Dan’s behaviour from the week before was off, was the nicest thing he could do right in that moment.
For a few moments Phil scrolled through his tumblr. When he noticed that his eyes were getting heavy, Phil quickly put his phone away and closed his eyes.
Sacking towards the left, Phil managed to fall asleep after all.
Phil was woken by a loud buzzing sound. He jolted a little and woke Phiphi in the process. He quickly picked her up and prevented her starting to cry.
“Good morning, Phiphi.” Phil smiled. “Are we ready to start the day?”
Phil grabbed his phone and read the message Dan had sent him.
Just left costa.
On my way. Will be there soon.
LOT
Phil’s reply was absolutely obligatory. Dan needed to be reminded that even he had some flaws. There were millions of things Dan was absolutely amazing at. Thinking of slogans that complimented the store he worked for was not one of them, though.
“We better be. Dan is coming around for breakfast.” Phil told Phiphi. “We have to get you dressed.”
Phiphi turned to look at him. “I hear what you’re saying. I will think about getting dressed too.” Phil nodded sagely.
He stood up and went back to Phiphi’s room picking up a striped shirt that looked harmless until you paid attention to what the lines were made of.
Tiny ‘Ho!Ho!Ho!’s were forming the stripes. Dan had given this to Phiphi, laughing uncontrollably.
Phil had done his bit with an eyeroll, not sharing how much he liked the shirt himself.
After putting some stretchy leggings on Phiphi, Phil carried her back to his room and changed his pyjamas for some dark sweatpants and a grey hoodie. It was still too early to bother with contact lenses, so Phil stuck to his glasses.
Being dressed, Phil quickly went to the bathroom and then sat Phiphi down on her chair in the kitchen, boiling water for tea for the breakfast with Dan.
Afterwards, Phil lay the table and because Dan was not yet there, Phil cut some apple slices for Phiphi and slowly started heating a little bit of milk.
Her drink of choice was milk with a dash of tea. In order for that to seem even mildly digestible and enjoyable, Phil heated up the milk and let the tea cool down.
Dan had laughed at him for that practice, but as he hardly ever didn’t laugh at something Phil did, Phil did not mind all too much.
Phil had just thrown teabags into the pot and poured water over it when the doorbell rang.
Phil picked up Phiphi and made his way over to the door. He opened it and was met with a smiling Dan.
“Tea is almost ready. I’ll give it another two minutes at most.” Phil said as a greeting. He already made his way towards the kitchen again when he decided that the greeting was a little feeble at best.
“Phiphi and I missed you.” Phil added and placed Phiphi back into her chair.
Dan arrived in the kitchen and handed Phil a bag from the bakery.
“Brioche buns.” Dan said. “You look gorgeous, Ash. What a phenomenal jumper.”
Phil ignored Dan and asked: “Didn’t you have another bag?” A gigantic M&S bag was not going to pass him by.
“I did.” Dan smiled. “Breakfast first though.”
Dan sat down on his chair, which was the one on Phiphi’s left side. Phil always sat on her right side.
“How are you Ashley-girl?” Dan asked Phiphi and tickled her.
“You had a bit of a nightmare, didn’t you, Phiphi?” Phil asked. He took the milk off the stove and poured the hot tea into Phiphi’s mug to cool down.
“A nightmare? Poor thing. You don’t need to be afraid. I am here now.”
“Excuse me? What about me?” Phil laughed.
“Oh, of course. If you ever have a nightmare, tell me. I will be there for you too.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Phil rolled his eyes.
“Fabulous.” Dan grinned.
Dan told Phil about his morning shift while Phil fished the teabags out of the pot. Dan managed to avoid saying Costa out loud, knowing that Phil would never miss an opportunity to annoy him.
Phil grabbed Phiphi’s cup, poured the milk over the tea and screwed the suckle top on it. He handed the cup to her all while telling Dan about the new piece he was working on.
The article he was asked to write was properly interesting for a change, but Phil would have told Dan anyways.
After breakfast, Dan picked Phiphi up and danced with her through the kitchen while Phil cleared the table.
It was more enough for him that he got to listen to Phiphi’s squeals and Dan’s laughing.
Once Phil was done, Dan handed Phiphi back to him and told him to go and wait in the living room. Phil raised his eyebrows at Phiphi who happily made a grab for them. Phil wiggled his eyebrows even more excessively and carried Phiphi into the living room.
Phil sat down on the sofa and placed Phiphi on his lap.
“Will you ever tell me what you did last week?” Phil called.
“I was literally about to, Phil. You have to spoil everything.” Dan said accompanied by some rustling.
“Oh.” Phil managed before Dan turned around the corner and walked towards the sofa.
“I forgive you.” Dan said graciously. His eyes were gleaming. Phil smiled encouragingly but kept quiet.
“The reason I did not have any time last week was that I am an organisational genius.” Dan said and then pulled out a box from behind his back.
Dan placed the box onto Phil’s lap and picked up Phiphi to sit her down on his own lap as he sat down next to Phil.
“What is this?” Phil asked.
“Phil, it literally says what it does on the tin… well, cardboard.” Dan laughed.
For the first time, Phil looked at the box and saw numbers and letters. He looked a little closer and saw some of the letters spelling out:
A1 S19 H8 L12 E Y24 ‘S X–MAS E5 X T20 R18 A V22 A G7 A N14 Z25 A
“Ashley’s X-Mas Extravaganza?” Phil asked.
“I’d like some curry thanks for asking.” Dan grinned.
“Forget it. You tricked me into saying ‘your’ name.”
“Rules are rules. You said Ashley, so I get to decide what we have for dinner. You did the exact same thing when you made me read the birthday card you had written to her out loud.”
“You also love pizza.” Phil defended himself.
“That’s beside the point. You love curry.”
“Fine. We’ll have curry then.” Phil sighed. “Will you tell me what this is now?”
“It’s what is says. It’s Ashley’s X-Mas Extravaganza. You could also say it’s Ashley’s X-Mas A to Z.” Phil looked blankly at Dan. “For heaven’s sake, Phil. It’s an Advent Calendar for Ashley.”
Now, Phil saw the remaining numbers and letters scattered across the top of the box.
Every letter and number was beautifully designed. Phil loved the Q17 especially.
“You did this?” Phil asked in awe.
“Last week.” Dan said proudly.
“Impressive.” Phil studied the box. He lifted it and noticed how light it was. He didn’t comment but showed Phiphi what Dan had made her.
“Go on, open the first flap.” Dan smiled nervously.
“Give me your hand Phiphi.” Phil said, holding out his own. Phiphi put her hand in his and Phil opened the flap while holding onto her hand.
Phil did not know what he had expected, but it certainly had not been for there to be a string attached to the flap on whose end there was a small envelope.
Phil let go off Phiphi’s hand and tried to get the envelope out of the opening.
“Ah. I miscalculated that. Or I didn’t calculate that. Sorry.” Dan grimaced. Phil laughed and bent the envelope slightly so that it fit through the hole.
“Go on, open it.” Dan said.
“I am.” Phil grinned. It was funny to see Dan this nervous. He really didn’t have to be so nervous. Whatever turned out to be in that envelope, Phil was sure to love it, as was Phiphi.
Phil turned the letter around and read: ASHLEY in capital letters. He turned it around again and opened the envelope. Dan had not glued it shut, which was a good thing. Phil would have hated to destroy any part of this calendar.
Phil pulled out the folded sheet of paper and smoothed it out. A DIN A5 paper was neatly covered in Dan’s handwriting with a couple of sketches in between.
“Do I read this now?”
“What do you normally do when you are presented with letters on a page?” Dan asked. He still looked as nervous as before.
Phil smiled at Dan and Phiphi and started reading out loud.
ASHLEY
Once upon a time, there was a clever writer – arguably even more clever than the one out of whose feather these lines flow.
Anyways, once upon a time, there was a very clever writer. His name was William Shakespeare.
William is known for his theatre plays and poems. He also created a lot of words, without which words in the English dictionary would be really rather lonely. (Lonely is one of them, you see?)
We do not only have the plays, we also have quotes from the plays.
One of William’s most famous quotes is: What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Even if the rose would have an entirely different name altogether, it would still smell just as sweet.
The same is true for you, Ashley. No matter if as Ashley, Phiphi, Ash, Phoenix, Ash-girl you are always the sweetest, most adorable girl alive, cherished by those that know you.
Ever since you turned to me with a smile when I called your name – thanks again for that perfect birthday present – you have consented to the role I play in your life.
You ruined my triumph when you turned to your father after he called “Phiphi!” with an even brighter smile, but really seeing you be both Ash and Phiphi, something only the most perfect person can achieve, was the real present.
You are unique. You are you and I hope you always will be.
“Dan.” Phil said and folded the paper once again.
“Sorry. Is it horrible?” Dan kept his eyes fixed on the back of Phiphi’s head.
“No! Of course not. It’s amazing! It’s out of this world. It’s perfect. It must have been so much work!” Phil took a breath. “You are not saying something like this will be behind every flap, do you?”
“No.”
“Good.”
“It’s more like stories for most of them.”
“You wrote something for every day?”
“Yes.” Dan looked up finally and grinned at Phil.
“You are unbelievable.”
“Thank you.”
“No. Thank you.” Phil grinned. He placed the box down and pulled Dan into a hug, which was long overdue.
Phil had not seen Dan in a week, after all. He had wanted to hug him as soon as he came through the door. Things have always been better when Dan was there.