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Finally finished, Tonks looked at the stack of folders in front of her and was happy to be done with the paper work. She really loved her job, but writing mission reports was the part she hated, as it was dull work.
Slowly, she got up and stretched her aching bones. The head-quarter was still buzzing like a bee hive. Frowning she checked her watch and to her surprise it was early afternoon. She had finished her work in a much shorter time than usual.
Whistling, she grabbed the pile of folders and strolled down the line of cubicles towards Kingsley’s office. She was about to say ‘What a great day!’ as she tripped onto something lying on the floor. There was no chance to catch the fall and a crash later Tonks hit the floor, papers and folders flying everywhere, showering the Auror head-quarters.
“Damnit!” Tonks cursed while trying to get up. Who had put the damn flying carpet in here?
A few of her colleagues, who had watched the show, snickered and laughed. But did someone help her collect the report papers? Of course not. Glaring at one of the women in front of her, Tonks went to pick up the sheets.
Great, she had finished her work in record time and now it would take another hour or two to check which report, memo and photo belonged to which mission. So much for going home early. It was frustrating to say the least. Just when she was sure her clumsiness had subsided a bit, it came back with full power.
Merlin, which god or goddess had she pissed off to be cursed with never ending clumsiness? More than pissed she went back to her cubicle to start sorting the files into the folders they belonged.
She had been right; two hours and thirty minutes later everything was back in order. This time she had charmed the folders to survive another tripping of her intact. The chatter had died down and there weren’t many people remaining in their cubicles.
As she reached Kingsley’s office she noticed he wasn’t there either. He probably went home or was sent on another assignment. Shrugging, she dropped the folders onto his desk and scribbled down a short note.
What to do now, it was past six o’clock and she had no need to go to Grimmauld Place and no one had assigned her any Order duty either. As she stepped into the lift she remembered what she had wanted to do and her lips formed a sly smile. That would be fun and might lift her spirits.
Tonks apparated directly to Diagon Alley, her first stop was Gringotts. A few glares and mutters later she had her purse filled to the brim with galleons, sickles and knuts. She strolled down the street, barely noticing the other shops since her mind was too engrossed with the goodies she might purchase. Finally she had reached her destination and stepped into ‘Madame Tingles Toiletries’.
“Good evening. What can I do for you, Miss?” The smile of the blonde woman behind the counter could rival one of Lockhart’s.
“I bought a bottle of ‘Soothing Spirits’ last week and Madame Tingles said that if I enjoyed it, there might be more for me to check out,” Tonks said, feeling her cheeks getting hot.
“Ah, yes. Just go through that door into the backyard. We have a vast supply of adult entertainment.” The woman waved into the direction of a door framed by purple curtains.
Tonks blinked at her, but shrugged and did as she was told. The backyard reminded her a lot of the one at the Leaky Cauldron, brick walls and rather shabby looking. What was she supposed to do now? Touch the bricks in a certain combination?
Just as she stepped nearer to the wall opposite of her, a door and a sign materialized out of nowhere. The sign read ‘Madame Tingles’ Treats For Adults’. Tonks couldn’t suppress a giggle. Who knew the old lady had such a wicked streak in her.
Still amused, Tonks opened the door and the second she stepped inside the hidden shop a wave of patchouli and musk incense hit her nose. She was reminded of Trelawney’s classroom but while Divination was something you couldn’t always rely on, the centaur-sized dildo she glanced in a show-case definitely was.
Signs in bright gold letters announced what the customers would find in the sections. There were ‘Potion & Lotions’, ‘Pleasure Wands’, ‘Lusty Lullabies’, ‘Kinky Kandees’, ‘Glistening Grottos’. For a moment she just stared at the signs, unsure where to go first.
After a second she walked over to the show-case which contained the centaur -- or was it a hippogriff cock? A little sign underneath each exemplar told the customer what it really was. So she had been right and it was indeed the one of a centaur. To her surprise this show-case seemed to be Magical Creatures only. Centaur, Troll – eww -- Hippogriff – oh, Beaky --Mooncalf, Unicorn, House Elf – big eww or rather little -- and various Dragon cocks. When Tonks reached the werewolf one she squeezed her eyes shut and tried very hard not to think of Remus.
That show-case showed more than she had ever needed to know about Magical Creatures and she started to be slightly worried about Hagrid’s obsession with them.
Dismissing those thoughts, she went over to the ‘Potions & Lotions’ shelf. Now that one was more to her taste. Crèmes, love potions and lubes, she couldn’t resist and dipped a finger into a sample of the ‘MY’s Every Flavour Lube’; she got strawberry but didn’t dare to try her luck again. There was also her shower gel, in different versions like hard, soft and her normal one.
She grabbed a bottle of the hard version and went on to the next shelf. This one seemed to be full of toys for males or hermaphrodites, moulded vaginas and arses, some skin-like sleeves and fake breasts. Not much of interest for her. While she had transformed herself into a man once or twice she had never explored the male sexuality.
Tonks went from shelf to shelf and as she finally reached the counter her arms were quite heavy from the selected goods.
”So did you enjoy the shower gel?” Madam Tingles smiled at her.
“Oh yes, thank you for suggesting it,” Tonks replied and her cheeks turned pink again.
“It was a pleasure, my dear,” Madam Tingle assured her.
While the older lady started to wrap the chosen goods, Tonks noticed a small bowl that contained what looked like ‘Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans’, but they were all white or yellow and not in various colours like the real ones. She picked one and sucked it happily into her mouth but as the flavour hit her tongue she screwed up her face.
“Oh dear, I should have warned you.” Madam Tingles gave her an apologetic smile.
With much effort Tonks swallowed the bean, her face still showing utter disgust.
“What in Merlin’s name is this?” Tonks asked, trying to fight her need to retch.
“Those are called ‘Coming In Every Flavour’ and be happy you didn’t pick a yellow one, my dear.” Madame Tingles chuckled.
Yuck! Tonks could guess what the yellow beans contained and she swore never ever to try something in this shop without asking Madam Tingles first. That really had been a lesson for her. She had paid the price for her curiosity and she really should have known better as an Auror.
Still shuddering and with the taste of semen on her tongue, she apparated into her flat. The shopping trip had been nice and not expensive either. All in all she could say that is was quite a compensation for her awful day at work. It was nearly eight o’clock. Time for something to eat and then bed. But first she needed to take a shower… badly.
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END