Chapter Text
Mad, ignorant, delusional.
These were but a few of a long list of uncharitable words thundering through my head as I stomped my way through the underbrush of the forest floor.
Branches snapped as I shouldered my way past a particularly stubborn thorn bush and punting a decent sized stone with the toe of my boot, uncaring where it landed as I continued to scowl at the ground instead.
The anger had been boiling inside me for the better part of an hour now and these small childish acts upon my surroundings were doing little to improve my mood.After dinner Keeper Deshanna had pulled me aside, the lines of her aged face somehow sinking deeper in the flickering glow of the communal fire.
“There is something I must ask of you da’len, and I do not ask it lightly.”
“Ask or tell”? I had replied with a small smirk to keep the bite from my words.
Beloved by the clan, Keeper Deshanna had been the heart of the Free Marches elves since before my parents were born, no one knew her actual age though rumours were rife that she was immortal like the ancient elves of legend. Deshanna was the sole magic wielder of the clan, but also our historian, peace keeper and guide.However she was also a task master and a strict authoritarian and I did my level best to wind her up every chance I could get.
“This is a serious matter child, now is not the time for levity”, Deshanna had replied with thin lips.
Alarm bells started ringing when I took note of the worry that had set in the back of her eyes, Deshanna was many things, but a worry-wort was not one of them. Taking this into account I had grudgingly dipped my head by way of apology and proceeded to follow her into the Keepers private tent, trepidation making my feet feel heavy. While Deshanna may not have been a worry-wort, I was, covered up usually by an easy going attitude. But with the look in her eyes and the weary set of her shoulders, making jokes was the furthest thing from my mind.
“It’s a bit late to be going on a hunt isn’t it?”, drawled a familiar voice from behind me.
My scowl only deepened as my pointed ears picked up the sound of footsteps, footsteps I would have heard long before if I hadn’t been so busy taking my anger out on the forest around me.
“Is there a new species of blind and deaf deer no one has told me about? Because if that’s the case our job is about to get a lot easier.”
I didn’t bother to reply to the sarcasm, instead I settled for tugging at the neck of my fraying hunting coat; stomping through a forest in a temper was surprisingly hot work, despite the sun having set hours ago.The owner of the unwelcome witticism finally fell into step beside me before turning to walk backwards so that we were face to face.
Hazel eyes twinkled at me with mischief as I glared through my lashes, determined to stay pissed off.
Reddish brown curls the colour of fresh clay bounced atop his head as he continued to walk blindly backwards, occasionally unsteady on his feet due to the uneven ground.I always was the more graceful one; I thought with a private smirk.
“Or maybe your on the hunt for a new private spot for us to pass the evening in?” his eyebrows wiggled suggestively, eyes full of mirth.
“Not tonight Arwyn.” I sighed, sounding just as exhausted as I felt.
Arwyn had been by my side for as long as I could remember. First as children sharing lessons with the other younglings in the Keepers tent. Then from playing in the forest to our current roles as hunters and protectors of the clan.However things had become decidedly more complicated after a night of celebrating our step into our adulthood. A day marked by Valasin or ‘blood writing’ tattoos now adorning both our faces.
In the three years since that night it had become a regular occurrence for us to find a quiet spot out of camp to find some comfort from each other, a little escape from the daily pressures that we had on our shoulders day to day.
Although this had been enough for me, in recent months Arwyn had started to act increasingly like he was courting me. Giving me extra food, small practical gifts that he shrugged off as just formalities for helping a fellow hunter and clansmen. I chose to ignore the twinge of guilt as his eyes dulled slightly at my shut down, his strut turning to more of a casual swagger. By this point I had finally found my destination and I sighed as some of tension eased from my shoulders. The cliff's outcropping was just big enough for us both to sit, a thick blanket of grass and loose stones making the spot just shy of comfortable. But it was the view and isolation that drew me here. Directly across was another set of cliffs. A mirror of the forest my clan were currently camped in. Below, thundering at the chalky cliffs was the sea, grey and heaving.
“Out with if Lana,” Arwyn snapped suddenly, barely audible over the sound of the ocean below, he always did have a temper.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see the flex of impatience in his jaw, his fingers viciously tearing up clumps of grass and weed.
“I’m leaving tomorrow for the Conclave,” was my reply the wind snatching the words from my lips and I said them.
Arwyn paused in his assault of the foliage to scowl, “what?”
“The humans and their mages are having some sort of ‘summit’,” I replied with air quotes on the word the Deshanna had used.
“What’s that got to do with us?” he replied with no small amount of venom, a muscle in his cheek clenching.
“No idea really,” I shrugged, eyes on the sea.
”Deshanna just said that I am to go there, learn everything I can and report back.”
“On your own.” It wasn’t a question so much as a disbelieving statement.
“She can’t spare any-“
“Why spare anyone at all? Let the humans deal with their own problems. We have enough of our own to be getting on with.”
Irritation at being cut off and Arwyns sulky attitude set my back straight and my teeth clenching.
“Elves are involved as well Arwyn. They have them in the mage prisons and Deshanna says the mage hunters and magic barers are openly fighting. Everyone is being caught in the crossfire.”
“Flat-ears you mean, they are as good as human,” Arwyn huffed humourlessly.
I didn’t bother to respond, too tired to get into an argument he seemed so desperate to have.
“It’s done Arwyn. I agreed to do it and I leave at first light.”
“Like she gave you much of a choice,” was his mumbled reply.
Taring my eyes from the view for the first time since we sat down, I turned to watch my companion as he straightened from his slouch, joint’s popping loudly. Hazel eyes locked with mine and I watched as a jumble of emotions passed behind his eyes, usually I loved how easily I could ready his face but tonight was not one of those times. Arwyn began to lean toward me, a familiarly heated look settling in the emotional storms place. I turned away and fixed my eyes back on the sea so I didn’t have to see the hurt on his face.
“Can we just sit?” I asked, the words sounded hollow and far away from my ears.
“Sure Lana,” he said softly as he shifted closer, sliding a comforting arm around me as I placed my head on his shoulder, ”anything for you.”
Despite the warmth and safety I felt in that moment, the hollow pit in my chest didn’t ease and I thought that I didn’t know what I wanted and doubted I ever would.