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Rey gasped. A sharp inhale, filling her lungs with sweet, fresh air, and then there was an awful stabbing pain in her chest as her heart began to pound again, beating almost painfully fast. It wasn't just her chest - she hurt all over, more pain than she had ever felt before in her life.
And around her, there was nothing but darkness.
With an immense effort, Rey forced her eyes open. Even that small motion hurt. Her vision swam, and for a moment, all she could see before her was a swirling mass of blurry colours and shapes.
But the pain was already dissipating, and on her next blink, the blurry mass leaning over resolved into the figure of Ben Solo, his eyes closed, his long, dark fringe artfully hanging over his forehead and his brow furrowed with effort. He was breathing in harsh pants, and with a jolt, Rey gradually became aware of the warmth, the almost fiery heat of his hands on her abdomen, before he reached out to entwine his hands with her own.
"Ben," Rey whispered.
He opened his eyes, and an electric thrill ran up her spine as their gazes connected. In her mind, the renewed Force bond pulsed, luminous with brilliant light, incandescent with warmth.
But the light was fading, to Rey’s horror, even as she desperately tried to cling on to their connection.
Almost immediately, she knew what he had done. Ben had given his life to save hers. He’d sacrificed his life force to bring her back, and now he was dying, and their bond was fading. What should never have been sundered was breaking.
Tears blurred in Rey’s eyes, tears of horror and denial and pain.
Ben could sense her emotions through the bond, and his hold on her hand tightened, almost as if in reassurance, even as his fingers trembled from the effort of holding himself together.
No.
He couldn’t have - he couldn’t have done this for her. This wasn’t how she had wanted it to happen. Ben, taking her hand at last - but she didn’t want it, not like this.
They were supposed to live happily ever after.
Rey tried to reach out for him, stretching a weak, shaking hand out to caress his cheek.
There was a heartbeat of momentary disorientation - did Ben just pull her into his lap?
He did. And now he was - Ben was leaning his face down to her, capturing her lips in a searing, passionate kiss.
Rey inhaled sharply. As their lips met and Ben entwined his fingers with hers even more tightly, Rey’s heart sped up. It took her breath away, the bittersweet of it, the love.
She let herself melt into his embrace, sinking fully into the kiss, twining her fingers around his as she laughed and pressed herself close to him, chest to chest, until it felt as if she was almost curling up into his warm, solid, body. In that instant, she knew that she would never, experience a love like this again with anyone else, ever again.
Rey smiled into the kiss, smiled through her tears and trembling lips, even as Ben’s embrace around her weakened as the breath left his body. Weakened, and finally dissipated as his life force drained fully into hers.
Rey didn’t know how long she sat there, stunned, frozen in place. Her mind was an empty blankness.
She had won. They had won.
But it was a hollow victory, and she felt completely cold inside. Desolate. Even more alone than she’d ever felt amidst the desert sands of Jakku.
Rey choked back a sob. But she could only hold back her tears for so long, and before she knew it, she had bent her head down and was sobbing into her own arms, sobbing so hard that she was gasping for breath in between her big, ugly sniffles.
She’d lost Ben. After all that they’d been through, she’d lost Ben, just when they were on the verge of their happy ending -
Rey?
Rey jerked bolt upright.
That voice, so familiar, in her head…
“Ben?!”
There was a strange, whispery sensation in her mind. Then, Rey realized -
It was Ben. Laughing. In her mind.
No one’s ever really gone.
Rey looked wildly about her. But there was no one else around, and she was truly, utterly alone.
“What? But how-? I saw you die! Where are you? Show yourself, please -” Rey’s voice broke on the last word.
Perhaps it’s the Force dyad, Ben mused. How we’re connected to each other. Our souls, tied together. Or perhaps it’s simply how the resurrection works? No one has ever really done anything like it, after all. But it seems when I channelled my life force into you, we - merged, somehow. It looks like you won’t be rid of me so easily. There was just the touch of smugness in that oh-so-familiar voice inside Rey’s mind.
Rey gaped in disbelief.
Ben’s soul was somehow… trapped inside her? Inside her mind?
It took her almost a full minute to process the implications of it, but as the realization sank into her, a small, wavering smile spread across her face. A thin, watery, smile which swiftly transformed into a hard line of stubborn determination, shining through her tearstreaked face.
Warmth flared within Rey’s heart. An emotion not fully her own, mixed and mingled with Ben’s own happiness and relief, but still so familiar and welcome that it made her heart break all over again.
“No one’s ever really gone,” Rey repeated aloud. She didn’t have to - she knew Ben would have understood her anyway, but her vow felt more real when spoken out loud. “You aren’t really gone, Ben Solo, not while there’s still breath in my body. I’ll find a way. We’ll find a way, together, to get you your body back.”
For as long as I’m alive , Rey vowed to herself . Ben isn’t gone. He’ll always be here with me. There’s still -
Hope.