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It was strange, being on this island with Rey and this mysterious Luke Skywalker. After the chaos and fighting of the past few days, coming to this isolated place was almost a relief for Finn. But there was something bothering him, it was the way Luke looked at him - every now and again, he’d find himself on the receiving end of an unreadable stare from the Jedi Master. What was he thinking when he looked at Finn?
Maybe it was because he had mentioned being a stormtrooper? Perhaps Luke was wary of him and thought he might be some kind of First Order spy? It was possible Finn was just being paranoid. He looked over at Rey, who was fast asleep on a makeshift bed identical to the one he lay on, and sighed. If she had been awake, he might have asked her what she thought. But she wasn’t, and he didn’t want to disturb her. So, he decided some fresh air might help clear his mind, and he stepped outside of the hut which Luke had offered them for the night.
The sky was dark, the stars obscured by clouds, and the only sound was the waves crashing against the rocks below. It was oddly peaceful, and Finn took a deep breath of the cold air, savouring the calm. But he wasn’t alone for long.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Luke appeared at his side.
“No.” Since Luke was here, he might as well ask. “You don’t trust me do you?” He questioned, softly. “Because I was a stormtrooper.”
Luke tilted his head, a flicker of surprise crossed his face, and he gave Finn a concerned look, before shaking his head. “That’s not-….” He trailed off, and looked away. “You know, I was a stormtrooper once. Long ago, and only for a short time.”
That was not at all what Finn expected Luke to say, in fact it was probably the last thing he would have guessed that Luke would possibly ever say. “You were?”
“Well, not really. I disguised myself as one.” Luke shrugged, as though he was mentioning an everyday occurrence.
“Why?”
“I was on a rescue mission. To save Leia.” Luke waved his hand, as if to stop himself from getting distracted by memories. “It doesn’t matter. But to answer your question - I do trust you.” Finn relaxed as he heard the words. “The fact you were a stormtrooper doesn’t make you untrustworthy. And besides, none of that was your fault. What happened to you was horrible - taken from your family, forced into the First Order, I can’t imagine.”
Finn glanced away, he didn’t want to discuss that now, so he just nodded, hoping that was enough acknowledgment. The paranoia of earlier disappeared and he felt at ease. It was good to know he didn’t have to be on his guard here.
“Why did you ask?” Luke tried to catch his gaze.
“I just got a feeling….I don’t know, you keep looking at me strangely.”
“Oh.” Luke murmured. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think that….” Luke faltered, embarrassed, and there was that strange look again. “It’s just…I can sense something in you. And I was trying to work out the right time to talk to you about it. I suppose now is as good a time as any.”
Finn waited, curious about what Luke had sensed, wondering if it was the same tiny thought that had been on his mind for awhile. The thought that perhaps there was something powerful within him that he had yet to understand. Most recently he had felt it when he had used the lightsaber, but really, it had been there all along.
“Have you ever felt as though you can sense something other people can’t?” Luke asked, his gaze intent.
“Yes.” The word tumbled out easily. “It’s…like there’s something inside me that I can’t…describe.” Finn felt a rush of relief at saying out loud what, deep down, he had thought about for some time.
Luke nodded, “I sensed it as soon as I met you. The Force is strong in you.”
“Really?” Despite the fact Luke said it with such easy confidence, Finn still wanted to hear it confirmed once more time.
Luke smiled at him, “Really.”
Well, there it was, an answer to the question he had wondered about for so long. The Force was strong in him. Yes, it was so clear now, it made so much sense.
“I always thought that it was just….I don’t know…” He trailed off. “So, I really have the Force? I could be a Jedi?”
“Yes.” Luke smiled. “I could teach you, with Rey. If you like?”
It was an offer Finn had never received before - in the First Order he had been forced to learn, and he had been an excellent student, but he had never been given the choice. The idea that for the first time in his life he could study something for himself was wonderful. He knew his answer immediately.
“Yes.” Finn nodded eagerly. “I want to learn.”
“Good.” Luke seemed pleased. “Y’know, since we’re both awake, we could try something.” Luke reached down and unclipped the lightsaber from his belt and offered it to Finn. “Go ahead.”
Finn accepted the weapon and held it carefully. Before, when he first wielded it, he was in the heat of battle, adrenaline coursing through him, and although it was an unfamiliar weapon, he had adapted to using it quickly. But he hadn’t had the time to consider it - to feel the weight of it, lighter than a blaster, and to feel the smooth, cool metal of the handle, such a contrast to the fierce heat of the blade.
There was the soft, low hum as he switched it on, and the bright blue light ignited. It was quite beautiful in a way. It was a weapon for fighting with, yes, but there was something else to it. Perhaps it was the calm of nighttime on the island, or the new found knowledge about himself, or a mixture of the two, but holding it made Finn feel complete, like a missing puzzle piece had been found and put in its correct place.
“You can sense it, can you?” Luke asked.
“I feel….connected.” It was really the only way to describe it.
“The Force. It’s in you, in the lightsaber, in everything in the galaxy. That’s the connection your feeling.”
Finn nodded, he was starting to really understand. “It’s great but it’s kinda…”
“Overwhelming?” Luke suggested, and Finn nodded, switching off the lightsaber and handing it back to Luke. “Get some rest.” He patted Finn gently on the shoulder. “We’ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow.”
“Ok. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
Luke turned and went into his hut. Finn took one more look at the night sky, the clouds had disappeared to reveal thousands of twinkling stars, and he smiled, excited for what the future would bring.