Work Text:
Lena can still remember how she felt the first time she met Alex. Seeing the striking woman standing so comfortably in Kara’s apartment had sent a cascade of emotions through her in the few fleeting seconds that she thought Alex could possibly be Kara’s girlfriend. A glimmer of hope that Kara was in fact ‘fam’, and fell someplace within the LGBTQ+ acronym along with Lena. A flicker of fear because if Alex was indeed Kara’s girlfriend, that meant Lena wouldn’t get a chance to explore whatever it was Kara was making her feel, because Lena was not a homewrecker. And strongest of all, the burning warmth of jealousy, because Alex was an undoubtedly beautiful woman who was with the beautiful, compassionate, bubbly, warm, and kind woman that Lena was trying so hard not to fall for.
When Kara finally introduced Alex as her sister, Lena had been flooded with relief, but found herself back at square one in trying to figure out where Kara Danvers fell on the Kinsey scale. Lena herself was around a 4 or perhaps even a 5, making her bisexural. She was attracted to a person’s mind, their personality, first and foremost. She wasn’t enlightened enough to say that their physical appearance had no bearing on her, it did, but wither that attractive package came with a penis or breasts, that she was open too. As her friendship with Kara grew stronger, as they opened up to one another more, Lena was pinning Kara at a 0 or perhaps a 1 after hearing about a childhood crush she had on the daughter of one of her father’s associates. Lena raised that to a 2 after Kara had confessed to a freshman fling in college with a girl she simply called Z who majored in Classical History and Antiquities, and who had a ‘cute’ fascination with magic and the occult. Then there was the incident in her junior year that Kara had likened to a, “Loving Annabelle kind of thing.” with a visiting art history professor. Perhaps Kara could be a 3? Lena could work with a 3.
What she could not work with was Mon El. The entire time Kara had been dating the Daxamite, Lena had felt an almost constant warmth under her skin that would flare to a burn every time she had to see them together. Lena was jealous as hell, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. Kara had seemed happy with Mon El, despite the fact that he treated her so poorly. She would probably never admit it to anyone, and she felt guilty for feeling it because Mon El leaving had caused Kara pain, but while she and Winn had been working on a way to defeat the Daxam Invasion Lena had hoped it would drive Mon El away too. He was good for Kara, and thankfully with the passing of time and distance Kara had realised that too.
Life seemed to get away from them after that. Sam and Reign happened, and Lena needed to focus on saving her friend’s life. Things became strained between her and Supergirl. Then Lex weaseled his way back into her life so that he could betray her. Through it all she had Kara, her best friend, at her side for support and comfort. And then suddenly she didn’t have Kara anymore because Kara had been keeping a huge secret from her. Kara was Supergirl. Lena had been flooded with so many emotions upon finding out this revelation that she drowned in them. If not for the near end of everything, and Sam’s return to National City, Lena would have been lost.
“Lena,” Sam had said softly as they rang in the new year on a new earth in a new singual universe. “I love you, you are family, you know this, but Lena, honey, you really need to get over yourself.”
Lena had been angry at first, but Sam had been right. Kara had not keep Supergirl a secret out of anything malicious, but Lena hadn’t been able to see that through the pain and scars from past betrayals. Kara had truly wanted only to keep her safe. Lena had become a safe place for Kara as well, and she hadn’t wanted to lose that. “I lost my whole world, Lena, my parents, everyone and everything I loved. I couldn’t go through that again.”
She couldn’t go through that again. Kara’s words had been stuck in Lena’s head since that day, the day Lena had decided to let go of her anger and pain, and to give Kara and their friendship a second chance. Had Kara meant to compare the pain of losing everything she’d loved to losing Lena? Could Lena truly mean as much to Kara as Krypton? Her people? Her culture? Her parents?
Kara had certainly become her world, which is why Lena had been so shattered by the truth, and following that kind of devastation it had taken a lot of hard work to rebuild what they had once meant to each other. Sitting on Kara’s sofa Lena watched the room as christmas carols played softly from hidden speakers. Well, perhaps she wasn’t watching the room. Her kryptonite colored eyes were fixed on Kara who stood across the room with a first time guest to the annual Danvers holiday party. Kate Kane of the Gotham City Kanes. Lena didn’t like her. She didn’t like the way she looked at Kara, or the ease in which she talked to Kara. The sound of her husky chuckle at whatever Kara said that was funny, irritated Lena.
Once again the warmth of jealousy filled Lena’s core and as she watched Kate Kane reach out with her tattooed hand and lay it ever so gently on Kara’s arm as she leaned in close to say something softly, that warmth roared into a fire under Lena’s pale skin. Now her kryptonite green eyes were searching the room as her lightening quick mind came up with a plan. A slow smirk tugged at her lips when she figured out just what she needed to do.
Rising from her place on the sofa Lena made her way across the room to refill her drink. She knew that Kara had been watching her all night, constantly making certain she was alright. While she had been apart of a few smaller gatherings since their reconciliation, Lena was still uneasy around everyone, having regressed a bit in her comfort levels around Alex and the others. Things would never be as they used to be, they were all basically building something totally new from the ruins of what used to be, but they were all willing to put the hard work into doing so, they were all committed to making things better.
Knowing that Kara would be watching her all Lena needed to do was move off so that she was alone, and once Kara felt she’d been alone for too long she could walk over to make sure she was okay. Lena just needed to be in the right place in the room when she did so. Picking her spot Lena turned away from the celebration and the merrymakers to look out the windows at the twinkling city beyond. Taking a deep breath, Lena let it out slowly and closed her eyes. When she felt the presence beside her she did her best not to smile.
“Lena?” Kara said softly. “Are you alright?”
Opening her eyes Lena turned to look at Kara and suddenly felt guilty for causing her concern. “I’m fine, Kara. I promise.”
“If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed we can go for a walk.” Kara offered, her smile was warm and caring, her eyes bright and hopeful.
How could she have ever thought she could hate Kara? The woman’s smile filled Lena with warmth, and the blue of her eyes was suddenly Lena’s favorite color. The sound of Kara’s voice calmed her, the sound of her laugh delighted her, and when that warm voice broke in sorrow it shattered her.
“Lena?” Kara said, obviously repeating her name by the look on her face.
Lena sucked in a breath. “Kara.”
“It would seem that Lena and Kara have positioned themselves under the viscum album.” Brainy said from where he sat with Nia.
Nia rolled her eyes and chuckled softly. “It’s mistletoe, Brainy.”
“Is that not what I said?” Brainy asked.
Both Lena and Kara looked up at the same time. Lena smirked. Kara blushed. Then they slowly lowered their gazes to one another. Kara reached up and rubbed the back of her neck in a gesture she’d picked up from Alex while letting out an awkward chuckle. “We don’t…”
“It’s alright.” Lena reassured. “It’s tradition after all.”
“Are you sure?” Kara replied.
Lena set her drink aside and then stepped closer to Kara. “I’m sure.”
It was a tentative, shy, and simple press of their lips, but then when they pulled away from one another and caught the look in each other’s eyes, they moved in for a second kiss. Kara’s arms encircled Lena’s wasit, pulling her even closer. Lena’s arms wrapped around Kara’s neck. The room and everyone in it disappeared in that moment. The only thing that mattered was what was happening between the two of them, this new, wonderful, terrifying thing that would either fuel them towards something happy and whole, or burn them to cinders. Which ever it was, the look they had seen reflected in each other’s eyes had said they were willing to take the risk to find out where this would lead them.
When they finally pulled apart Lena looked into Kara’s eyes and smiled. “Merry Christmas, Kara.”
“Merry Christmas, Lena.” Kara replied, still holding Lena close.
The warmth that was spreading through Lena now had nothing to do with jealousy. This kind of warmth, though it was different, was the kind of warmth she hadn’t felt since the last time she’d been held in her mother’s arms. This was the kind of warmth that came when you knew you were loved. Lena would always remember the way she felt in this moment. Always.