Chapter Text
People said that after Freshman year, people would settle down and that parties would be less common and less wild.
Well, Catra knows that’s total bullshit. The sophomore party she’s currently at is in full swing, and as she sees several couples making out in random places scattered across the room, a large group of annoying giggly girls doing shots of tequila (she makes a conscious effort not to focus on her— focus on them for more than a second), and rowdy frat bros doing keg stands, she knows that sophomores at Etheria University are just as immature and rowdy as they were in Freshman year.
She suddenly feels a nudge to her side, and she sees Scorpia, her housemate and one of her best friends, standing next to her with a soft smile, holding two red cups. “You doing okay Wildcat?”
“Yeah…” says Catra, her voice a little bit scratchy. “Just… lost in thought I guess.”
“Hey, you already do enough brooding normally, I brought you here so you could relax and have fun!” Scorpia teases as she holds out one of the red cups in front of Catra.
Catra rolls her eyes but takes the cup anyway. Although she’d never admit this out loud, she appreciated Scorpia looking out for her. The cheerful, tall girl was always there to tell Catra to go to bed at a reasonable time and not to do her calculus homework until 2am in the morning. And she got Catra to go out and socialise instead of just staying cooped up in her room all day.
Loud cheers, followed by loud giggling, erupts from the kitchen area, and Catra is suddenly all too aware of one particular girl over there.
She tells Scorpia that she’s just going outside for some fresh air, handing the cup back to her housemate. She ignores the concerned glance from Scorpia- not that she doesn’t appreciate the concern, but Scorpia can sometimes worry too much.
The autumn air is cool, and the stars are shining brightly in the New York sky. This time last year Catra would definitely still be inside, drinking to try and impress a certain someone, but nowadays unless Scorpia insisted, Catra wouldn’t bother turning up. There would always be some party every weekend, and Scorpia, being the lovely and popular person she was, would be invited to every single one.
The problem with being dragged to these parties was that Catra would always see her there. Having a good time with her new friends, friends who were cheerful and outgoing, just like she was. Friends who weren’t moody and closed off like Catra…
Even though she tells herself that she won’t spend time thinking about it, every now and again (well, maybe a bit more than that), she finds herself reminiscing about happier times. Happier times with Adora, when it still seemed like the two of them would be best friends- maybe more- forever.
Last year
Catra watches amusedly from the doorway of Adora’s room, as Adora scrambles around, picking up clothes from the closet and hurriedly shoving them all in a suitcase. She’d just arrived ten minutes earlier, and had been greeted by Mara, Adora’s mother, who’d told Catra that Adora was still packing in her room.
“Y’know, if you hadn’t left packing until the morning we were meant to set off for college you’d be a lot calmer right now,” says Catra with a shit-eating grin, as Adora curses under her breath for the hundredth time.
Adora pauses and turns to face Catra, narrowing her eyes. “I’d also be a lot calmer if you could stop standing there all smug and just help me instead, Catra.”
Adora is just too easy to rile up.
“Where’s the fun in that?”
She can see Adora trying to maintain her serious expression, but the upturn of the corners of her mouth give her away.
Catra fakes a dramatic sigh and steps inside the room. “Well I guess since we’re best friends and all I’ll give you a hand.”
Within ten minutes, Adora is packed and lugging her suitcase out of her room and downstairs, Catra following close behind. She exits the Shearer household and smiles contentedly as a cool breeze blew over her.
Adora puts her suitcase next to Catra’s in the boot of Catra’s red Ford Fiesta, and closes it, turning to face Catra.
“Well, let’s just say bye to my mom, then we can set off!” the blonde says cheerfully, flashing Catra a bright smile.
Such a beautiful smile.
Okay, so Catra might be crushing on her best friend who she’s known almost her whole life. Just a tiny little bit. But it’s fine, it’s just a stupid crush. After all, Adora is objectively beautiful. Long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, she could be a model. Who wouldn't be crushing on Adora?
She follows Adora inside to the kitchen, where Mara is sitting at the table. At the sight of the two young girls, she smiles warmly at them. “Hello girls, are you all packed?”
Catra smiles back, a genuine smile full of warmth. With her own mother deciding to neglect Catra for much of her childhood in lieu of ‘work’, Mara had basically raised her. Allowed her to come around to their house after school while Catra’s mom had been working late. Allowed her to sleepover when her mom couldn’t even be bothered to come back home.
“Yep,” says Adora, popping the p.
“Well,” says Mara, standing up and holding her arms out. “Are you girls gonna give me a hug before you set off?”
“Duh!” says Adora with a grin, reaching her mom in two big strides and wrapping her arms around her. Mara wraps her left arm around her daughter.
Catra lingers just for a moment, but when she sees Mara’s right arm still extended, she mirrors Adora, moving in close to hug Mara’s other side.
They’re warm, and they smell like home. Catra isn’t normally one to get all sappy, but she hopes that in this one group hug that she can convey how much she appreciates these two women.
“I’m so proud of you two,” says Mara fondly as they finally separate. “You’ve grown into two wonderful young women.”
“Mom!” says Adora. “You’re gonna make me cry!”
Catra smirks but she’s feeling pretty emotional too at this moment. Hearing Mara praise her, something that her own mother never really did, fills her with joy.
“Okay, I won’t say anymore, but I mean it," says Mara with a chuckle, looking over the two girls once again.
“We’ll come back and visit, so don’t miss us too much!” says Adora cheerfully, and Catra nods in agreement.
“I’ll look forward to it. Now come on, you should really be setting off now.”
Soon enough, Catra and Adora are sat in the car, and with one last wave to Mara, who’s standing at the door, they set off to Etheria University. One of the best universities in New York, and only a ninety minute drive from their town in Orange County.
The first ten minutes of their journey are made in comfortable silence, but when they hit the highway, Adora turns to Catra from the passenger seat.
“I can’t believe it Catra, we’re really going to college! The same one too!”
Adora’s enthusiasm is normally infectious, and Catra does feel excited too, but doubts were still lingering in her head. Sure, she’d gotten in with a Math scholarship, but what if she wasn’t good enough still?
“Yeah, can’t believe you’re still following me around like this everywhere,” says Catra, trying to alleviate her concerns by cracking a joke.
“Ha-ha,” says Adora fondly.
“But yeah… I’m glad we’re in this together,” says Catra.
She is. She remembers all those times her and Adora would cuddle up (purely platonic cuddling obviously) on the sofa watching rom-coms, and whenever Catra would get in a fight at school, Adora would be there to back her up, and then bandage her up afterwards.
“Aww, you do love me!”
Catra glances over at Adora with a smirk. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
She turns her attention back to the road, but she feels her heart rate increase just a bit as Adora’s hand finds its way to her shoulder.
“Hey Catra, you’re gonna do so great. I know it.”
Trust Adora to be able to read her mind so easily. The sincere tone in Adora’s voice is enough to quell her fear of failing for now. Adora has believed in her, stuck by her for fourteen years. It’s enough to make Catra want to keep going; become better. It’s also maybe part of the reason why she’s crushing on Adora.
But there’s no way Adora likes Catra back. She’s not even sure if Adora likes girls, as far as she’s aware, Adora is straight. If she wasn't, she would have definitely told Catra.
Adora knows Catra is a lesbian, she was the first person that Catra came out too. And understanding as always, Adora had hugged her and thanked her for trusting her.
She wants to believe that if she told Adora that she has feelings for her, that Adora would react in the same way, that even if she didn’t return Catra’s feelings, they could still be best friends.
But what if she didn’t? What if it made things weird and her and Adora started to drift apart? She doesn’t want that to be true but she’s too scared to speak up. So she doesn’t say anything, this way at least they can still be as close as always.
Even if it does hurt sometimes knowing that her and Adora can’t be together in that way, that pain is dulled slightly knowing that they can still be together as best friends.
“Thanks Adora,” says Catra, her voice a little choked as she realises that tears are threatening to leak out of the sides of her eyes.
She clears her throat, tries to compose herself and flicks her eyes to Adora again. She’s no doubt noticed that Catra is getting a little emotional, but she’s smiling patiently, waiting for Catra to continue.
“I’m sure you’ll do great too, you’ll probably have all the NWSL teams chasing after you once they see you play.”
“Aww Catra, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!”
“What?” asks Catra. “I’ve definitely said nicer things before!” She knows Adora is only teasing, but she plays along anyway, this dynamic is so familiar to them.
“Well, I appreciate it all the same.”
“Yeah, well if you start being any sappier, I might just drive off the highway into those trees.”
Adora laughs. It’s light and breezy, and Catra feels butterflies in her stomach. Ignoring her crush on her best friend proved to be much harder than she'd first thought.
Another comfortable silence settles between them. The sun is shining high in the sky, not a cloud in sight. Catra feels like she's in a film. Two best friends driving down a highway with clear blue skies, on a road trip to somewhere far away (okay, somewhere in the same state, but still, metaphorically maybe).
“Hey Catra.”
“Hm?”
“I know you’re feeling anxious about going to college-“
“What?” Catra splutters. “I’m not-“
Catra sighs and cuts herself off. She knows better than to lie to Adora.
“Things might get tough-” continues Adora. The road ahead is straight and clear so Catra glances at Adora.
“Nothing really bad can happen, as long as we have each other. Right?”
As long as we have each other.
Catra snaps out of her little reverie.
‘Nothing really bad can happen, as long as we have each other. Right?’
‘Yeah, right Adora,’ Catra thinks to herself bitterly.
“Catra?”
Speak of the devil.
Catra turns around and sees Adora standing there staring at her. She’s wearing her blue and white Letterman jacket, the letters EU sown in gold on the left breast. Her hair is in its usual ponytail, and she’s slightly flushed red, something that always happened when Adora got drunk.
“Hey Adora,” says Catra, trying to keep her voice neutral. They’ve had a few awkward encounters so far this semester, but they’ve not really had to speak to each other, just awkwardly stand there avoiding eye contact. They normally only see each other when Scorpia and Bow insist on having an hour long conversation whenever they see each other, even though they’re completely aware of the awkward situation they put the other two girls in.
But here at this party, alone, in front of her was the girl she’d tried so hard to avoid.
Adora tilts her head, and her eyes flick up and down, looking over Catra.
Catra suddenly feels very self conscious.
“What?” she asks, averting her eyes so she’s staring at the doorway behind Adora.
“Oh, is nothing,” says Adora, slurring slightly. “I just haven’t had a chance to properly look at you in ages.”
Catra can feel herself start to blush. Even though she’s tried to distance herself from Adora, her crush on Adora definitely hasn’t fully disappeared.
“And?”
Adora smiles, a little dopily. “You look well.”
Catra has no response to this and an awkward silence takes over. It's a far cry from the hours of comfortable silence that the girls used to be able to exist in. A few moments pass, and Catra decides now would be a good time to go back inside. But before she can, Adora takes a step forward, her face suddenly serious.
“I miss you…”
Any thoughts of going back inside were temporarily halted as Catra’s brain started to short circuit. The way Adora had said it so softly, so wistfully, as if she was suddenly fully sober and sincere.
I miss you too. She wants to say, but she doesn’t. She just stands there awkwardly trying to process Adora’s words.
When she finally speaks, Catra finds that her voice sounds like it’s far away. She has to leave now.
“Look, Adora, you’re drunk okay, you don’t know what you’re saying.” She starts to back away slowly.
“No,” says Adora stubbornly, pouting. “I know what I’m saying.” Catra tries to ignore how cute she looks just then.
Catra sighs. She really can’t do this. She can feel the anxiety bubbling up inside her, fearing that if she stays in Adora’s presence any longer she’ll crack and spill out how she really feels.
“I’m sorry Adora,” is all Catra can choke out before she turns and runs away from the party, away from Adora, back to her apartment just outside campus.
When she gets back to her apartment, she enters her room, slamming the door shut behind her. Catra plops down on her bed, not bothering to get under the covers. She shoots Scorpia a quick text saying she was back at the apartment.
The last time she had disappeared at a party, she hadn’t texted Scorpia and it turned out the girl looked over half the campus for Catra before finding her curled up in bed, safe at the apartment. Typical Scorpia, Catra thinks fondly.
Trying to cast thoughts of Adora out of her head, Catra’s head hits the pillow and she drifts away to sleep.