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“Can I have a go?”
Melanie was sprawled over the sofa, her legs draped over Georgie’s lap. For the last half an hour they’d been sat in comfortable silence. Georgie had been silently swiping through tinder for about 20 minutes of that half hour. Every so often she’d scoff and show Melanie a particularly bad profile or ask for an honest opinion on someone she was considering.
Melanie didn’t mind. It was comfortable and funny mostly. The fact that Georgie had not swiped right on a single person so far definitely had nothing to do with the warm feeling in the bottom of Melanie’s chest. Definitely not.
Georgie looked down at Melanie who was now holding out her hands expectantly. She smiled and handed her phone. Melanie sat up so they could both see the screen and started swiping.
“hmmm. No. Nope. Nah. Oh god no. Nah. No. No. No. Georgie all these people seem extraordinarily boring.”
Georgie laughed lightly. “Oh I don’t know… she seems ok?”
Melanie rolled her eyes. “G her favourite food is listed as canned beans.”
“Ok fair enough. Keep swiping.”
This continued for a couple of minutes before Melanie’s hand froze above the screen.
“Hey look Mels it’s you!”
Melanie had completely forgotten that she still technically had a tinder profile up. She hadn’t used it in months. Yet here she was looking down at her own stupid face on Georgie’s stupid phone. Georgie plucked her phone back out of Melanie’s hands and started scrolling through her profile.
“Hmm let’s see. Likes: ghost stories ooh check I like ghost stories too, also likes 80s music oh perfect that’s a big tick. Dislikes: being bored and capitalism. Definitely things I can get behind. Well I have to say Melanie it’s all coming up green for you so far.”
Melanie dropped her face into her hands in embarrassment. “Just swipe left and move on please.”
Georgie nudged her shoulder gently. “Don’t be so hard on yourself I’d totally date you.”
There was nothing Melanie could really do but watch, absolutely mortified, as Georgie grinned and swiped right on her profile.
“Can I crash here?”
Melanie leaned against Georgie’s door frame, exhausted. The stab wound in her arm was throbbing. She gritted her teeth and hoped the bleeding wasn’t too bad. She knew she must have looked an absolute mess but she really had nowhere else to go. Georgie, to her credit, didn’t even seem to flinch before ushering Melanie inside and steering her to the sofa.
“Take your shirt off, it’s covered in blood.” Georgie’s voice was stern but gentle.
Melanie didn’t even have time to feel embarrassed. She did as she was told and Georgie returned from the kitchen with a first aid kit and some hot water.
Georgie’s hands were careful and methodical as she washed and bandaged the wound. When she was finished, she just silently pulled Melanie into a careful hug.
“Do… do you want to tell me what happened?”
Melanie felt all the overwhelming terror and stress of the day collapse on top of her in one go. She tightened her grip on Georgie, burying her face into her shoulder. She could feel tears prickling behind her eyes but she swallowed them back.
“You’ll think I’m crazy.”
Georgie shrugged slightly and made a noncommittal noise. Melanie couldn’t help but let out a slight laugh at that.
“Um. I got stabbed by a ghost.”
“I don’t think that’s crazy at all.”
Of all the things that had happened today, of all the things that had been said to her, this turned out to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Melanie pulled Georgie tighter and started to cry. Sobs tore from her body and even once they subsided, she was trembling like a leaf. Georgie just held her and softly ran her hands through her hair.
Once she could breathe again, Melanie felt a wave of pure exhaustion rush through her. She pushed herself up slightly. Georgie’s hand was still in her hair.
Melanie scrubbed her face with her hands. “I think I should probably... rest.”
Georgie nodded and pulled them both to their feet. Carefully, Georgie wrapped an arm around Melanie’s waist and walked her to the bedroom. She pulled a shirt from her closet and handed it to Melanie who pulled it on gratefully, the cold starting to seep into her bones now the adrenaline had worn off. She slipped gratefully under Georgie’s duvet where Georgie wrapped her in her arms.
It was only then, in the silence that Melanie really became aware of how fast Georgie’s heart was pounding. Melanie snuggled a little closer and found herself thanking the darkness around her for hiding how red her face must have been turning.
“Can I buy the next round?”
They were sat in a dingy pub. Between them there were 4 empty pint glasses and Georgie was leaning dramatically in her chair lamenting her disaster of a date. Her face was lit softly in the flickering golden glow of one of the pub’s tacky wall lamps and Melanie was trying really hard to not initiate anything that might make the evening unnecessarily awkward.
That was definitely easier said than done, though, with the way Georgie’s ankles kept tangling themselves around hers under the table, or the suggestive way Georgie would look her dead in the eyes as her fingers absentmindedly ran around the rim of her empty glass.
Georgie laughed hollowly at the question. “If you buy the next round then that would make you officially the best date I’ve had in months.”
Melanie laughed but it came out stilted. “G if this was a date, I would be doing a lot more than offering to buy you a pint.”
Georgie leaned forward challengingly. “Oh yeah? What would our date look like then?”
Melanie tilted her head slightly. Georgie’s eyes felt like headlights focused on her expectantly. Something in the back of Melanie’s brain triggered. Georgie was picking nervously at her fingernails and the cheeky smile on her face wasn’t quite reaching her eyes. There was something else there…
“Why would I tell you what our date would look like? I could just show you. I know for a fact you are free on Saturday.”
Melanie knew she’d made the right decision as she watched the nervousness dissipate from Georgie immediately. Her face lit up with a grin and she downed the rest of her pint.
“Pick me up?”
Melanie laughed. “Of course.”
“Can I kiss you?”
They were stood by the entrance to Georgie’s apartment block. The wind was whipping cruelly around them but Melanie barely felt the cold. The heat of Georgie’s hand in hers was far too overwhelming for that. The date had run perfectly. Neither of them had been able to wipe the smiles from their faces all night.
Georgie laughed. “Honestly Mels I was beginning to think you would never ask.”
Melanie grinned and carefully lifted her hand to cup Georgie’s cheek. The kiss was gentle but certain. Everything fell softly into place around them as Georgie’s hand came to settle on Melanie’s hip, pulling her closer. Melanie felt her pulse rocket. And her breath hitch. Georgie smiled and placed a hand over Melanie’s heart, pushing them apart slightly.
“I don’t know about you but I don’t think I’m ready for this to end yet. Do you want to crash at mine tonight?”
Melanie smirked as Georgie took her hand and pulled her slightly towards the door before even waiting for an answer.
They basically jogged up the two flights of stairs to Georgie’s flat. By the time they got inside, they were both out of breath and giggling. Georgie closed the door behind them and carefully backed Melanie against it before kissing her again.
This was a different kiss. This kiss was filled with wanting and heat that made Melanie feel like she really might melt. She pushed Georgie’s jacket from her shoulders and let her own jacket fall to the ground too before pushing Georgie in the direction of the bedroom. When they got there, Georgie pulled away. Melanie ached at the loss of warmth but Georgie just laughed.
“I’m just taking my shoes off, I’m not going anywhere.”
Melanie pouted but followed suit. By the time she was done, Georgie was already back in front of her and fiddling with her belt buckle.
They made quick work of the rest of their clothes before tumbling down on to the mattress.
Melanie ended up on her back. Georgie slowly lowered herself down to kiss her again. Melanie’s brain was going 9000 miles per hour.
Then Georgie started to kiss down her neck and she stopped thinking altogether.
“Can I video call you?”
Melanie’s phone started ringing only seconds after she sent the message.
“Lennie are you ok?”
Georgie’s voice rang through her speakers and the jumpy image on her screen brought tears to her eyes.
She smiled.
“I just wanted to see you.”
There is silence before Georgie answers.
“Melanie as lovely as that is to hear, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried.”
Melanie let out a dry laugh but it sounded more like a sob. She never was great at controlling her emotions.
Her hand gripped her cane so tight she thought she might break it. The awl was lying menacingly on the table only inches from her.
“I’m about to do something incredibly stupid, G.”
“Is this a goodbye? Are you seriously going to leave a suici-“
“No! no not exactly,” she let out a hollow laugh, “actually I’m kind of hoping this will save my life.”
Georgie went quiet for a couple of seconds.
“Explain exactly what you are about to do.”
Melanie let out a shaky breath and sat down on a chair.
“I found out how to leave the archives. It’s drastic and I’m going to need support but this isn’t life. This isn’t the life I want for me or for us. This is the only way to give us the life we deserve and I promise that however… scared I’m coming across right now it is nothing compared to the happiness this will bring me in the long term.”
Melanie caught her breath slightly before continuing.
“I have to blind myself G. Like, permanently.”
“Right.”
Melanie flinched at the ice in Georgie’s voice. “You’re angry. I’ll admit that’s not what I expected.”
“I’m not angry at you, Lennie. I’m angry at the stupid institute and the stupid universe for putting you through painful life-threatening bullshit over and over. Of course I will support you. Do you need me to pick you up?”
“Not from the institute, no. I’ve got Jon on standby calling an ambulance. But you should probably come and find me at the hospital though.”
“Ok. Do you want me to stay on the phone?”
Melanie just shook her head. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Melanie.”
And with that, Melanie took one last look at her girlfriend’s face and hung up.
“Can you help me?”
Melanie gritted her teeth through the question. Despite being generally accepting of Georgie’s help in her recovery she still struggled to explicitly ask for it sometimes. She knew Georgie would be there for her in a heartbeat without a single complaint.
She didn’t want to need it though. Most of the time she actually didn’t, to be fair. She was adjusting fairly well. Turns out ridding your body, mind, and soul of evil fear entities actually cleared up a lot of space for... normal life. But there were some things she still couldn’t adjust to. Weirdly, boiling the kettle was one of them.
There was a quiet “yes of course” from beside her before Georgie carefully took the kettle from her hands and filled it. There were already two mugs in front of her with tea bags in them; she’d gotten that far.
There was a shuffle and the familiar sound of Georgie hopping up to sit on the counter.
“How was therapy by the way?”
Melanie placed her hand on Georgie’s leg and tapped out a familiar rhythm with her fingers as she thought. “It was fine mostly. Nothing worth mentioning. They’re still not happy about,” Melanie gestured vaguely to her face, “this, but there’s nothing they can really do.”
There was a pause in which the kettle gave a quiet click. Melanie listened to Georgie pour the water into the mugs and take one. Melanie reached carefully forward and picked her own mug, wrapping her hands around it protectively.
The domesticity they had fallen into felt right. It wasn’t always plain sailing by any means. Rage still burned in Melanie’s veins regularly and Georgie was still stubborn as anything. But they fitted together and they filled the gaps where they were needed. Normal was never in the cards anyways but they were both fairly sure that ‘happy’ was.