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‘You have fallen in every way imaginable’.
It wasn’t true then, when Hester had scornfully thrown the accusation at him, not even close. Now Castiel has to admit that she might have a point if she said those words to him today. If she could see him now, living with a vampire of all things.
For a being that has fallen so low, Castiel feels remarkably good today. He’s just finished his first ever shift at the Gas n Sip and he’s on his way to meet Benny from work at the diner. Both of them finding work in town and being able to cover the rent on the cabin, was a blessing. Cas decides not to examine that idea too closely, but it at least helps to remind him of the time when he believed that good things do happen.
They moved into the cabin about two weeks ago. It sounds a much bigger deal than it was. A scant cardboard box of possessions each, a brief discussion over who was going to take the front bedroom, overlooking the dusty track that lead to the cabin (Benny), and who would take the back room that looked out on to the small garden and eventually the river (Cas), a brush of fingers and look that went on slightly too long to be comfortable and left Cas’ mouth dry and his stomach fluttery as Benny passed him the extra key he’d had cut for him at the hardware store in town, and it was all done. Quick, simple and as easy as falling.
The diner door has a bell that rings gently as Cas steps into the cool interior. There are only two or three customers in the late afternoon lull, and Cas orders a black coffee before slipping into a booth. From here he can see through the porthole window of the doors into the kitchen beyond. He sees the back of the vampire’s head as he bobs around, crooning along to whatever song is playing on the radio, wiping down surfaces and pots. The waitress slips out of the double doors with an order for another table and Benny looks up, out into the diner and catches Cas’ eyes. He grins widely and drops his eye into a sly wink. Cas’ cheeks flush as he quickly drops his head to examine the remains in his coffee cup as a warm curl of affection runs through him.
Benny’s shift finishes around the same time as Cas’ coffee and the vampire pulls on his hat and sunglasses and rolls down his shirt sleeves as they step out into the still hot late afternoon.
‘Do you want to go straight back to the cabin?’, asks Cas. ‘It’s quite sunny, you probably shouldn’t spend too long out in it’.
‘Naw, little bird. I’ve been inside for hours today. Besides, I want to show you something’.
They walk along the street towards the centre of the small town, arms brushing against each other as they go, swapping stories about the days customers. Cas grins as he recounts the tale of two stoned teenagers buying the Gas n Sip’s entire stock of Cheetos as they turn the corner on to the main street where his senses are suddenly assaulted by a riot of delicious aromas. The farmer’s market is in full swing and the street is buzzing with stalls and people. There are piles of produce and goods as well as trucks selling food and drink and the most amount of people Cas has seen in one place since… well since ‘before’. It’s SO human. And noisy. And so full of life and energy. Benny grins at him from under the peak of his cap.
‘I knew you’d love it, hot wings’, he beams at the angel, grasping hold of Cas’ elbow and towing him towards the hubbub. ‘Let’s go and have some fun’.
Cas lets himself be led around the piles of produce, wide eyed and soaking up the sights and sounds. After a few minutes, Benny begins to shop with purpose, running his hands over fruits and vegetables, discarding some, keeping others and occasionally bringing one close to his face and breathing in the scent, checking for perfect ripeness. The stall holders seem to sense that Benny is someone who knows his stuff, who appreciates quality and they rise to it, chatting amiably about their goods and offering samples and tastes to both him and Cas. From one stall he buys a woven type basket which he absentmindedly hands to Cas and then starts filling with his other purchases, some fruit, cured meat, and a small glass bottle of reddish liquid.
‘What’s that?’, Cas asks, peering down into the basket.
‘That, my little hummingbird, is hot sauce’, says Benny, as if that explains all that is important, ‘and that is the beginning of your education into the good things in life’, he is grinning widely at Cas now, eyes crinkling behind the sunglasses and Cas can’t help smiling just as widely back at him.
‘I still don’t know what that means!’ he huffs, as Benny drags him onto the next stall.
Eventually, the woven basket is full, and Benny has a canvas bag full of spice jars looped over one shoulder and a box full of bottles of local cider in his hands. The market is beginning to wind down a little and the long shadows stretching behind them heralds the onset of evening. Cas’ stomach makes a growling noise and he looks down at it in surprise as Benny laughs out loud.
‘Wait there, hot wings’, he says, pushing the box of bottles into Cas’ arms, making him juggle to hold it and the basket securely. ‘I’ll be right back to fix you up’, he calls over his shoulder as he beelines towards an old truck which is set a little way off from the cluster of stalls.
He’s back in a matter of moments clutching a greasy paper bag and looping his arm through Cas’, he drags him towards the shade of a huge tree behind one of the stalls. He instructs Cas into opening a couple of the bottles of cider as he removes his hat and sunglasses and throws them in the shopping basket. They sit together, under the spreading branches, both with their back against the trunk, shoulders leaning together and sip contentedly, watching as the stalls are struck and the vendors begin to pack up the remains of their stock.
‘What’s in the bag?’, asks Cas after a few minutes have passed.
‘Heaven’, Benny grins at him widely as Cas’ furrows his brow in confusion.
‘I don’t think… ah. You’re teasing me’.
‘Just a little,’ admits Benny, as he fumbles through the grease stained package. ‘I promise the doughnuts will make up for it though’, he offers the sugar dusted pastry to Cas, and takes another for himself.
Cas soon decides that warm and freshly made is the only way he wants to eat doughnuts from now on. These are a world away from the dry, overly heavy things he’d experienced in diners and coffee shops in the past. He’d always wondered what the fascination with them was, but he could eat these for a long time without getting bored. He’s happily sucking the sugar from the pads of his fingers when he looks up to see Benny outright staring at him, his own doughnut abandoned and wide eyed look on his face.
‘What?’ he says, flushing self consciously at the intense gaze.
‘You have absolutely no idea, do you? You haven’t got a clue’, says Benny in a low voice, shifting himself round and lifting his hand to cup Cas under the chin.
‘Do I have sugar on my face?’, there’s a tremble in Cas’ voice as he leans almost imperceptibly into the touch, a sudden riot of butterflies in his stomach. Benny runs his thumb over the angel’s lips and stares into the angel’s eyes for a long moment. He leans closer until his breath puffs against Cas’ cheek.
‘Castiel, little bird, I would really like to kiss you right now, is that ok? Can I do that?’
Cas feels his breath catch in his chest as the air seems to thicken between them, and the background noise of the market dulls to a faint buzzing in his ears. He swallows once, and then nods slowly, never taking his eyes off the vampire’s face. Using the hand already cupping Cas’ jaw Benny moves the angel’s head slightly closer and gently presses his lips against the other man’s. Cas sits motionless, eyes open, hardly breathing. As Benny leans back, Cas wraps his fingers around the hand still holding his face.
‘Do that again’, he says, his voice low.
Benny leans forward again, this time he presses their cheeks together, stubble catching against stubble as he runs his nose along Cas’ cheekbone, breathing in the scent of sugar and cinnamon that lingers there and then tilting his head to ghost his lips over the angel’s before capturing them with his own. This time Cas kisses back, moving his lips gently and fluttering his eyes closed. Benny runs his tongue along Cas’ bottom lip and Cas opens up to him artlessly and completely, trusting Benny to take care of him.
It’s not Cas’ first kiss of course, but it’s the first time he’s been the one being kissed, and Benny is not Meg. Where she was heat and ash, Benny is cool rain and earth and Cas revels in it. Their tongues slide together and the world slows down and narrows to the here and now, under this tree, in this sleepy little town near the river. Benny moves away to catch his breath, pressing more gentle kisses to Cas’ lips like he can’t get enough of the taste of the angel. He presses their foreheads together as he looks into Cas’ eyes.
‘I’d like to do that again sometime. If you’d like too’, he breathes.
‘I would like that. I did like that. Thank you for showing me this, Benny’, Cas says quietly. ‘It’s wonderful and you were right, I love it’.