Chapter Text
He wasn't sure where he was driving but he needed to keep going. He needed to get away, a fresh start. He drove through the night, music blaring, and once the low gas light came on for the second time he realized he should probably stop. He pulled off into the next down. It was in the middle of nowhere. Log cabins, small cozy town. No one here would know him. He could start over.
He pulled into what he assumed was the only gas station in town and while his car filled up he went inside and asked if they knew where the closest hotel would be. The clerk laughed at him and informed him this town didn't have any hotels but there was a somewhat decent motel that always had vacancy right down the road. Murphy paid for a room for a week- he figured he could get a feel for things and make sure this could be his new home.
That first week he decided to familiarize himself with the town, try looking for a job and a place to live. He walked into the local pub "The Dropship" and decided to check if they were hiring since he had experience cooking. The owner Sinclair hired him on the spot to start immediately, turns out their cook walked out last week and they were struggling to get by. It was just him and his niece running the place. Sinclair explained that his niece only worked some evenings and weekends because she owned the auto-shop in town so she was often busy there.
Next thing Murphy had to do was find a place to live. Sinclair had given him the number for the town realtor so he called him up. Jasper Jordan was a very interesting character. He showed Murphy approximately three houses within his price range and then proceeded to ask him tons of questions trying to get to know him. He was sure Jasper was nice but Murphy was not a very open or extroverted guy. He settled on the first place they saw. It was a small run down one bedroom cabin but it came furnished and had an amazing lake behind the house. He signed the papers and started unpacking his car.
He went to the store and got a few things he needed for the house and some groceries. He was finally able to relax and unwind. Over the next two weeks he worked during the days, did some work around the house and went fishing at the lake. He was finally starting to feel at home. He figured he couldn't avoid the real world much longer and finally turned on his phone. He had several texts and voicemails from Bellamy, Clarke and Emori. He couldn't listen to them yet. He sent a quick group text saying "I'm sorry I took off. I had to do what's best for me. I hope one day you understand" and turned his phone off for now. That was enough progress for now.
Growing up he was always unpredictable, angry, and trying to prove something. He was dealt a shitty hand in life and struggled to get through his childhood. Bellamy was really his only friend and through him he met Clarke. He dated a girl named Emori for a few years on and off and while he loved her -he didn't love himself and knew he wasn't at his best so they were pretty toxic together. It pained him to think about them and how he just took off and left them behind with no explanation. They had some idea of why he left, they knew him well enough to know he needed to leave town, but it still hurt him that he left the way he did it. He spent the past year working really hard to get his shit together and really improve his life and then everything went south and he realized he just couldn't be in Polis anymore. He couldn't fix himself in the town that broke him. In the present day he poured himself another drink as he wallowed in self pity about how he was always hurting everyone that let him in.
The more he drank the more the memories came back
Murphy knew he couldn't put it off any longer and needed to go through his mothers things. After she died he threw everything in storage and didn't look back-until now. She had a bad heart and he always assumed that it just gave out and that's how she died, they hadn't done an autopsy -he really couldn't afford it and didn't see a reason at the time. When he was sorting through the storage unit he found a letter addressed to him in his mothers old desk. It was a suicide note. She blamed him. It was his fault his father died and she was never able to recover after that. Murphy cried as he fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor clutching the note. Hours later once he finally composed himself he went to meet Bellamy at the bar.
Bellamy could tell something was up but he knew Murphy well enough to know he'd talk when he was ready, until then they would sit in comfortable silence and drink.
"I killed my mother" he finally spoke
Bellamy nearly choked on his whiskey "I'm sorry-what?"
"I found a note today when I was cleaning out her shit. She killed herself. Said it was my fault"
"Murph- you know that's not true. She was a drunk she wasn't thinking clearly. You were a kid. It wasn't your fault."
"I'm the reason my dad was murdered. I'm responsible for that awful accident junior year with Raven, I'm the reason my mom killed herself. Fuck. I didn't even know my mom, killed herself until today. How do you even recover from this?"
"I don't know man. I'm really sorry. But you can't blame yourself. Shitty things just happen sometimes"
"This town is just cursed. I can't be here anymore. I can't get past everything that happened here." And with that final sentence he threw some money on the counter and left. When he drove home he packed up everything he needed and he took off with no destination in mind.
Time passed by relatively quickly once Murphy gets into a schedule. The weather is getting colder so he works on the house more to ensure it'll be warm during the cold months. He gets a little depressed when the lake freezes over and he realizes he will have to wait a few months until he can fish again.
The following Saturday evening he was working at the pub when he finally came face to face with Sinclairs niece. Although to be fair he knew who it was the second he heard her voice.
"Table one needs a Burger with ---" she stopped abruptly once she looked up
He stared at her. No way. No fucking way.
"Raven?"