Chapter Text
[mid-November]
Clarke bit her lip, tapped her foot, and twisted her hair through her fingers to distract herself from the timer counting down on her phone. Just a few more seconds and she could look.
3… 2… 1.
And there is was. Two lines. A positive.
She was going to have a baby.
A positive result. Positive. That meant this was a good thing, right?
Her hand dropped from her tangled hair to rest protectively over her abdomen, as her mind began to race, reeling with the news.
She was going to have a baby. She, Clarke Griffin, twenty-four years old and single, was going to have a baby.
Lost in her thoughts, Clarke didn’t hear the first knock on the bathroom door.
“Clarke?”
She recognized her roommate’s voice, as Octavia knocked again.
“Uh, yeah, one second,” Clarke answered, frantically trying to replace the pregnancy test in the box and conceal it in the front pocket of her purple hoodie as the bathroom door creaked open.
Octavia’s eyes narrowed in curiosity, “Hey, you okay? You’re acting weird.”
Clarke tried to keep her cool, “Nothing, I’m fine. Just tired.” She edged out of the bathroom, hoping that Octavia wouldn’t ask more questions. She needed some more time to herself to begin to process this new life-altering information.
Once her bedroom door was closed behind her, Clarke curled up on her bed, and pulled the pregnancy test out of her pocket. She felt numb as she stared at the little white stick, with the pink plus sign glaringly obvious.
“Hey, Clarke, I was going to order pizza for dinner…” Octavia’s voice carried into Clarke’s room as the door opened, and Octavia entered, and immediately saw the object in Clarke’s hands. “Holy shit! Is that what I think it is?”
It was no use trying to hide this from Octavia - they had been best friends their entire lives, and could read each other like open books - so she nodded.
“You’re really pregnant?” Octavia asked, looking for confirmation as she crossed the room and sat down on the bed beside Clarke.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Clarke nodded again, and angled the test toward Octavia. “Yeah, looks like it,” she whispered, as a single tear fell from her eye.
Instantly, Octavia’s arms were around Clarke, wrapping her in a hug. “Tell me everything. What can I do? Are we happy, or…”
Clarke held Octavia tightly, and through her tears, whispered, “Yeah, we’re happy. I think.”
After an extra long hug, Clarke pulled back and wiped her tears with the sleeve of her sweater. “Sorry, it’s just a lot to process,” she sniffled softly noticing the tear stains on her roommates shirt.
Octavia reached over to the bedside table for a handful of kleenex. “No shit. I’m here for you no matter what, you know that right?”
She nodded, leaning her head on Octavia’s shoulder once again. It was quiet for a moment, as Octavia softly stroked her hair.
“But, who’s the father?” Octavia blurted out, leaning forward to make eye contact.
Clarke’s eyes watered again. “Umm. I- I can’t answer that right now. Please, don’t tell anyone else, and I promise I’ll tell you more when I can.” She knew she was being cryptic, but this still didn’t feel real. “I just need some more time to figure this out.”
Luckily, Octavia understood, and nodded. “Okay, yeah. For sure,” she said, and hugged Clarke tightly again. “Just let me know if you need anything, ‘kay? I’m here for you, including fighting this baby-daddy if you need me to.”
Clarke grinned slightly at that, knowing Octavia would not hesitate to use her extensive fight training, and would even enjoy the opportunity to get a few punches in.
Octavia smoothed out her hair once more before sitting up. “I’m gonna order that pizza now, okay? I’ll let you know when it’s here.”
Clarke nodded and said a quick thank-you as her eyes teared up again. She wiped her cheeks again and hid her face in her pillow. Hearing Octavia close her door, she was thankful for the silence, as she had a lot of processing to do alone. But she wasn’t really alone anymore.
How could she be pregnant? Well, she knew how - her mom was a doctor after all. But it was just a one night stand, and she was on the pill, and oh gosh - she’d have to tell the father. She’d have to tell him.
Clarke pulled the covers over her head as her thoughts raced in circles - she was pregnant, she was going to be a mother, and oh goodness how was she ever going to take care of a baby?
And holy crap , how was she ever going to explain all this to Bellamy Blake?
[October - 6 weeks earlier, in London]
Clarke walked to the baggage claim area at Heathrow airport and fought off a yawn. Jetlag was a beast, that’s for sure - all she wanted was to find a bed and sleep, but it was only nine in the morning London time. Luckily, Clarke’s boss had scheduled the flight early, giving Clarke a few days to overcome her jetlag and explore London before getting to work.
While she waited for her luggage to appear on the baggage carousel, Clarke felt her phone buzz in her pocket.
Octavia: I know you just left, but I miss you already. I can’t believe you left me alone for two whole weeks.
Clarke checked the time, and texted back:
Just landed - the flight was good, but jetlag is a bitch. And duh, I miss you toooo!!
Also, it’s 3am your time, why are you awake?
Clarke kept watching the spinning carousel for her bags when her phone buzzed again.
Octavia: Night shift again, and just facetimed B. Turns out big brother is in London right now too. I told him you’re there for work, so you guys should totally try to hang out. I know he’s annoying and all, but if I can’t see him, then you should totally bug him for me.
Laughing at her friend’s text, Clake spotted her suitcases and rushed forward to pull them off the belt. The rest of the airport was a blur as she went through customs and crowds, and finally found herself in a taxi on route to her hotel.
By the time Clarke pulled out her phone to text Octavia back, there was a new message on her screen.
Bellamy Blake: Hey princess, I hear you’re in London - you moving into the palace? O thought you might be free tonight? If so, want to meet up?
Ignoring the princess and palace barb, she texted back quickly:
Hi, long time no see. Just landed, and yeah, I’m free tonight - let me know when and where.
Bellamy Blake: Cool, I’ll ask Miller for a place to eat, somewhere fit for a princess.
I let the last one slide, but stop calling me that! Now you’re paying for food, asshole.
Bellamy Blake: Hey now, play nice, princess. And I was going to offer to pay anyway, so ha. Take that.
Clarke smirked and typed out her reply, sending it as the cab pulled up to her hotel - her new home for the next two weeks.
Joke’s on you because I am jetlagged and super hungry and am totally going to eat endless amounts of fish and chips.
[late November]
A week had passed since Clarke had found out her news, her exciting news, she had decided. Clarke’s doctor appointment the day before confirmed that yes, she was about seven weeks pregnant, landing the date of conception at the start of her recent trip to London. Which meant that she knew who the father was, without a doubt. Granted, she had already known it had to be his - as she had only hooked up with women in the last three months, and well, science .
Octavia had kept her word and not asked about the father at all, but Clarke knew her best friend was dying for answers. And Clarke knew that she absolutely could not tell Octavia anything without talking to the father first.
And that was the problem.
Bellamy was the father of her baby, and he was unreachable for the next three months, away on some super secret mission for work and completely off the grid. Even Octavia, his immediate family, would be lucky to have one or two emails from his supervisor within this time frame, simply to confirm he was still alive. And Clarke had resolutely decided that she had to tell Bellamy first, and tell him in person. He was scheduled to come back to Arkadia to see Octavia in three months, in February - and she would be able to tell him everything.
Once Bellamy knew the truth, she would be free to share it with Octavia as well. But in the meantime… she would have to throw her best friend off the trail for a few months. In order to do so, Clarke had devised a fake story, of an untraceable one night stand in a foreign country. Crazy, but hey, at least she could blame the pregnancy hormones.
“Morning,” Octavia mumbled, stumbling down the stairs and into the kitchen where Clarke was sipping her tea and catching up on work. So far, the worst part about pregnancy was having to give up her multiple daily doses of caffeine.
“Barely - it’s almost noon. What happened to the girl who was up at six am to workout everyday?” Clarke teased.
“Ugh, she sold her soul to work night shifts.” Octavia moaned, rooting through the dish rack for a mug, and groaned in frustration when she held up the empty coffee pot.
“Sorry, no coffee for the baby,” Clarke called. “Want some tea? The peppermint smell does an okay job covering the terrible plant water flavour.”
Octavia groaned again, “No way in hell.” She joined Clarke at the table with a bowl of cereal. “So how was your doctor’s appointment yesterday? Everything good?”
Clarke nodded and closed her laptop. “Yeah, everything looks good. She took some blood tests, an ultrasound, and we figured out the conception date.”
Octavia raised an eyebrow, silently asking the one question she had promised not to ask.
Clarke smirked. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” She took a deep breath, and continued. “Okay, so it happened in London, at the gala at the end of the trip. There was this guy, Cillian, I think. And I don’t know, he was hot, we had a lot to drink, and it was my last night in London, and he had a room in the hotel upstairs... And, yeah. Baby.”
“Whoah, a British baby.” Octavia paused and then giggled, “My super tired brain just thought that the baby might be born with an accent.”
Clarke laughed with her friend at the ridiculous notion. “Close, he was Irish, but still, a super hot accent.”
“So are you going to tell him?”
Clarke shook her head, “I don’t know. No. I can’t. Honestly, I don’t even know his last name. I guess I could ask Luna to have her contacts in London ask around, but I don’t even know if he was on the guest list, or a plus one, or even just crashing the event.”
Octavia nodded, “Fair point.”
“So I guess it’s just me, and baby, and Auntie O.” Clarke said hesitantly, rubbing small circles gently over her still-flat stomach.
“Auntie O. I like the sound of that.” Octavia grinned. She stood to clean up her bowl and stretched. “Well, I’m going to walk to Starbucks for some actual caffeine.”
“Ugh, I’m so jealous,” Clarke complained, lifting her her tea for a sip, and grimaced at the taste.
Octavia laughed, and her phone pinged as she was headed to the door. She paused to read the notification. “It’s an email from Bellamy’s supervisor - all is good.”
Clarke breathed a sigh of relief. With Bellamy always deployed on dangerous and secret missions all over the globe, it was always nice to have confirmation, even if it was brief, that he was safe and sound.
“Wonder where he is this time,” Clarke mused.
“Who knows. Only that he’s off saving the world, all that James Bond and Jack Ryan shit,” Octavia grinned, and reached for the doorknob. “Oh, but if you’re jealous of the caffeine, then I’m jealous you got see Bell in London. I can’t believe I have to wait three more months to see my own damn brother.” She waved as she left out the door, leaving Clarke alone in the empty house.
In the quiet, Clarke whispered to her belly, “And I can’t believe we have to wait three months to tell your daddy about you.”
[October - Back In London]
A few hours after arriving at the hotel, Clarke had showered, unpacked, and had even taken a short nap - despite every warning of jetlag she’d ever heard. And now, she was sitting in an Uber on her way to meet Bellamy.
The cab navigated the busy streets of London at a very slow pace, and Clarke realized it may have been faster to simply walk. Watching the cars and buildings go by slowly, her mind wandered, lost in the memories of her childhood, prompted by her excitement to see Bellamy.
Clarke and Octavia had been best friends since kindergarten, and were truly inseparable. Without any siblings of her own in the huge Griffin mansion, Clarke got lonely, and spent most of her childhood trying to find a way to spend time at the Blake’s house - getting dropped off for playdates on weekends, and sleepovers after school. Abby Griffin had even hired their mom Aurora to babysit Clarke through the long weeks of summer after Clarke’s father had passed away.
The more time Clarke had spent at the Blake’s house, the more time she spent with Octavia’s older brother Bellamy. He was five years older than Clarke and Octavia, and was often charged with watching the girls while Aurora was at work. While he always said he never had time for his little sister or her annoying friends - he was always making them snacks after school, helping them with homework, and later driving them around town. Clarke had instantly felt more at home at the Blake’s tiny house than she ever had in her parent’s sprawling mansion.
Bellamy had enlisted in the army right after high school, and Clarke hated to think of how much she had missed him. It was like missing a limb - she hadn’t realized how constant he was in her life, until he wasn’t. Clarke knew he only signed up because his family needed the money, and it would allow him to pursue an education, as the army would pay his university tuition.
Clarke had kept in touch with Bellamy through Octavia during their high school years, while he was away at boot camp, and then through his first few deployments. When he was back at home with them for visits in Arkadia, it was like nothing had changed and they fell right back into their friendship of sibling rivalry and constant teasing.
By the time Clarke graduated high school, Bellamy had taken enough online courses throughout his army years to complete his undergrad online. The plan was for Clarke and Octavia to start their freshman year at Polis University, and Bellamy would move home to start his teaching degree there as well. But Aurora had fallen sick that summer. So Bellamy took on another deployment to pay for treatment so Octavia could go to school and not drop out to work. And then, when Aurora had passed away, Bellamy took on another assignment to pay their medical debts, and then another and another - and before he realized his plans for teacher’s college had completely disappeared and he was highly ranked within the military.
And before Clarke knew it, years flew by and Bellamy was based in Germany, and working within a classified branch of the military, which apparently had him running out on secret missions all over the globe, and rarely finding the opportunities to come visit Arkadia. He would never confirm nor deny any specifics of his job, so Octavia always joked he was like James Bond, a spy off saving the world.
Clarke had moved in with Octavia at the Blake’s house during her first year at Polis University. It was only natural for her to move in when Aurora had passed away - especially as it meant she didn’t have to share a tiny little dorm room on campus. Plus, it meant that her mom would feel way less guilty selling Clarke’s childhood home when Abby moved across the country for her job at a new hospital. It had never really been Clarke’s true home anyway.
Clarke had camped out in Bellamy’s empty room for a month when she first moved in, before Octavia convinced her to take over the master bedroom, Aurora’s old room. She had helped Octavia pack up the memories and painted the walls, and soon enough, it was home for Clarke. Both girls still lived in that little house now, both having graduated and working full time in Arkadia - Clarke in a prestigious art gallery and Octavia as a paramedic.
“There ya are, miss, just a few doors up on the left.” Clarke’s Uber driver called from the front seat, shaking her from her reminiscent thoughts.
“Oh! Thank you!” she called, darting out of the car, and walking over to the pub Bellamy had chosen. She noticed that it really wasn’t that far from her hotel after all, and she probably would have made it here faster if she had walked.
Her stomach fluttered with excitement, and a touch of nerves. Whenever they had hung out together before, it had always been with Octavia, or any number of their friends from Arkadia. This would be the first time it would just be the two of them - and Clarke was very aware that just the two of them would feel like a date.
Obviously she had crushed hard on Bellamy all throughout middle school and even high school, despite him being overseas. It certainly didn’t help that each time Bellamy came home to visit Arkadia, he had become more and more attractive. So her crush had only grown, and while she was fairly certain she might be in love with him, she would never admit to having these feelings. Bellamy was her best friend’s older brother, and one of her closest friends, and their friendship was far too important to risk.
Swallowing her nerves, Clarke pulled open the door and looked around, her hand reaching up to habitually tuck her hair behind her ear.
“Clarke!” she turned to the far left, hearing her name shouted out across the room. Her eyes spied him - tall, dark curly hair, shirt sleeves rolled up around his forearms, and smiling at her - and suddenly all of her nerves were gone.
Clarke crossed the busy pub and launched herself into Bellamy’s waiting arms, pulling her in for a tight hug.
“Hey princess, long time no see,” he said, barely audible with the busy chatter echoing through the pub.
Clarke pulled back and grinned at him, “You too, nerd. What are we drinking?”
Bellamy laughed. Soon they were catching up over a beer and a meal of fish and chips.
Clarke told Bellamy that she was in town for a business trip. The art gallery she worked for was fairly prestigious, and her boss, Luna, had sent her here for two weeks of business meetings to secure new artwork, schmooze with donors, and network at a gala that would be held at the end of the trip.
Bellamy filled her in on his life in Germany, and while he couldn’t tell her many (or any) specifics about his secretive job, he shared funny stories of Miller and Raven, two of his army friends Clarke had met over FaceTime throughout the years.
Clarke helped catch him up about everything going on with Octavia, and the ridiculous tales of their friends Jasper, Monty, and Harper, and everything else back home in Arkadia.
After finishing her third beer, Clarke’s jetlag had caught up to her. “I think I’m wiped for the night,” she admitted, leaning her head on her hand, her elbow propped on the table.
Bellamy winked, “Awh, the night’s still young. Not the party princess from your college days, anymore?”
“Shut up.” Clarke retorted, and yawned. “I haven’t slept in... how many hours? Thirty?”
“We can head out then, I’ll walk you back to your hotel,” Bellamy offered, pulling out his wallet to cover the bill.
Clarke smiled, “That’d be great, thanks.” She pulled open the maps on her phone to guide them back.