Archive of Our Own

Bucky heard the faint pitter patter of his roommates feet and froze as he saw the tiny blond squinting at him at his door.

“James?”

Bucky quickly put out his cigarette.

“Hey.”

Steve blinked at him like he had just woken up, he probably did by the mess on his head, before yawning.  He held up a finger which Bucky took to mean stay as he ducked back into his room then came back out with his huge hipster glasses.

Steve rubbed his eyes and yawned again before standing by their dumpster dive couch.  “Rough night?”

Bucky snorted.  He hadn’t slept a full night’s sleep since his deployment and even less since the accident.  “Yeah, you can say that.”

Steve just sleepily stared at him with this put out expression that Bucky knew was just his tired face before nodding.

“Okay.” 

Bucky watched him go into the kitchen.  Steve went over to the fridge and opened it, but instead of pulling anything out he just kind of stared right into it.   It looked like he wasn’t actually seeing anything, but the thoughts in his own head.

Bucky didn’t know what to think about his new roommate.  He had been homeless for a while since he never wanted to stay too long on a friend's couch and had been hanging out with some guys at the bar when he saw there was a board with papers on it.  One of them was a paper for someone looking for a roommate in a tiny ass apartment for dirt cheap rent.  Bucky decided why not and took a piece of paper and called one Steve Rogers.

Steve finally seemed to come back to himself and took out the almost gone milk and some butter.  Bucky raised an eyebrow at that.

Steve was an odd kid.  He was short, skinny to the point that most mothers and grandmothers would faint, and seemed to be the quiet unassuming type.  Steve didn’t ask Bucky all that many questions other than if he could pay the rent, his sleeping habits, and if he was a partier or not and after Bucky answered them he shrugged and gave him the keys.

Bucky moved in the next day and he and Steve hadn’t had a full on conversation since.

Steve slowly went around the kitchen picking things out of the cupboards and one time out of the money jar which confused Bucky even more.

“What are you doing?”

Steve hummed back at him before putting a pan on the stove.  “Hot chocolate.”

Bucky blinked at that. “Uh, why?”

Steve shrugged.  “My mom always made me hot chocolate when I couldn’t sleep.  I figured we both needed it.”  He looked up at Bucky like he just remembered him.  “Sorry, do you even like hot chocolate?  I can make something else.”

Bucky kind of just stared at him before shaking his head.   “No, I’m fine with hot chocolate.”

Steve lightly smiled before going back to what he was doing. “Good, because I was going to serve it to you whether you liked it or not.  I make some damn good hot chocolate and I know I can’t drink it all by myself.”

Bucky just nodded his head taking this new side of Steve in.  Bucky hadn’t really been much of a talker to begin with.  He could be the life of the party if he wanted to but when he was by himself he never said much. 

Bucky watched Steve cook his hot chocolate, watching him put different ingredients in before realizing Steve had too much ingredients for just hot chocolate.

“What’s the rest of the stuff for?”

Steve jumped and put his hand over his heart before staring wide eyed at Bucky.

“Sorry.”

Steve actually started laughing.  It wasn’t that bad sounding actually. “No, I was just deep in thought and forget you were there.  I should be the one who’s sorry.”

Bucky couldn’t help but tilt his head at that.  “Why’s that?”

Steve hummed at him again.  “I don’t know.  Forgetting people, especially when they’re right in front of you, is just an awful thing.”

Bucky’s attention was definitely piqued.  Steve had said that with a voice of someone all too used to being ignored.  He walked over and sat down at one of the mismatched dumpster dive stool bars he had collected during one of his really bad nights and had to get out.  Steve didn’t seem to mind that he found these broken up or that Bucky had made a mess fixing them up. 

“You never told me what the rest of the ingredients were for.”

“Give me a second and I’ll answer.”

Steve went over and effectively on his tip toes without getting a chair or anything got two cups from the upper shelf without dropping them.

“You know I could have got those?”

Steve shrugged before dumping a massive amount of hot chocolate into each cup.  “I know but I knew I could get it so what would be the point?”

Bucky put “stubborn” and “prideful” in his mental list of Steve.  “Good point.”  When Steve handed him his drink he looked at the rest of the ingredients and raised an eyebrow, “So-?”

Steve laughed before blushing of all things.  “Sorry, it’s just,” he paused and bit his lip, which funnily enough had a piecing in it, before shrugging.  “When I can’t sleep I like to bake things.  Well, I like to bake bread.”

Bucky felt his back stiffen.  He saw that Steve had just woken up so why was he saying that he couldn’t sleep?  Was he taking pity on him?  Did Sam say something and was he trying to get him to do a roommate activity thing to get him talking about his feelings?

Steve seemed to pick up on Bucky’s vibe and raised a hand.  “Don’t give me that angry “Are you taking pity on me?” stare because I have no time for that.  You woke me up from a five minute nap which could have been longer but I smelt cigarette smoke and now I won’t be able to sleep for a while.”

Bucky still felt defensive, but he also felt a bit guilty.  He remembered that Steve said no smoking in the apartment but he really needed to smoke at that moment.  He thought the crack in the window would have helped.  It seemed it hadn’t.

“Sorry I’ll go outside next time and-“

Steve waved his hand. “No, bother.  Just open up the window more and always blow out of it.  Smoke generally doesn’t trigger my asthma attacks anymore, but do that and we’ll be good.”

Bucky felt doubly bad.  He didn’t even know Steve had asthma attacks and he probably told him when they first met, but he was too messed up to noticed.  He could have killed this shrimp.

“Sorry.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “I said no problem.  Besides, if you keep doing it I’ll have an asthma attack and die and I’ll haunt your ass for the rest of your life.  So, it’s an even trade if you don’t listen.”

They just stared at each other in awkward silence after that.

“Okay.”  Steve drew out the word before clapping his hands.  “Want to help me with the bread?” 

Bucky really didn’t, but really what else did he have to do?  “Sure.”

Steve smiled a tiny crooked smile that Bucky only saw because he was looking before turning around and going down to his haunches.

Bucky leaned over the counter to see he opened the spice cabinet and was rummaging in it.  “What are you doing?”

Steve ah-ha’ed before bringing out a massive notebook.   “My recipes I’ve collected over the years.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow and slowly sat back down.  “You hide them in there because-?”

Steve just shrugged before opening the book.  “No reason.  Just thought it was a good idea.”

Bucky added “squirrely” to his Steve list.

They didn’t talk anymore other than when Steve asked for an ingredient and Bucky gave it to him.  After the dough was made and Steve explained that they had to wait for it to rise they fell back into a silence.

Bucky noticed Steve’s eyes were starting to droop and his head kept going forward as if Steve was trying to stay up in a really bored class.

“Shouldn’t you go back to sleep?”

Steve jumped back up to alertness before looking tired again.  “Yeah, I should but if I go to bed now my brain will revolt and I won’t sleep for another two hours.”  He snapped his fingers.  “I need to keep going until I just drop asleep.  That’s just how it goes.”

Bucky didn’t quite understand how a civilian could do that, but he nodded anyway.  “Okay, if you do fall asleep what do I do with the dough?  Freeze it?”

That seemed to get Steve back from the brink of sleep.  “No, we’re making this bread right now.  You’ll probably have to knead it because I’m too tired to knead properly but we are getting this bread done.”

Steve was so full of determination that Bucky didn’t want to point out that Steve was probably going to crash before that happened. 

Funnily enough the little guy did stay up and he did make Bucky knead the dough which was harder than it looked on tv but was surprisingly very soothing and relaxing to do.

Steve finally conked out on their table when the timer to bread being done went off. 

Bucky didn’t have the heart to wake him so he put him on the couch, removed his glasses, got the bread out, put plastic wrap over it after letting it cool, then put a blanket on him when it looked like he was getting cold before going out for a cigarette. 

Bucky still wasn’t tired enough to be able to sleep without having nightmares, but he finally decided that living with Steve wasn’t going to be so bad.

*

The baking of bread become an almost every day occurrence after that.  Bucky couldn’t sleep because of the fear of nightmares or he woke up because of them and Steve seemed to never sleep at all until he conked out on him right before the bread was done.

Steve and him never really talked other than small talk.  How their day was.  What they did.  All the basic questions that strangers asked but they never delved any further.  It wasn’t like they saw each other all the time.  Actually, Steve seemed to be always out and Bucky had to go to his group meetings then talk with Sam during their run so the only real time they had was at night during their baking sessions.   That was okay with Bucky but something was really bothering him.  Finally after about a month of their polite dance he decided to go in deeper.

“Why can’t you sleep?”  Steve stopped stirring the sugar into the yeast and stared up at Bucky.  “I know you can guess why I can’t sleep but I have no Earthly clue why you have trouble catching some Z’s.”

That actually brought a tiny crooked smile on Steve’s face.  He didn’t know why, but Bucky felt so accomplished when he could do that.

“I just have a really fucked up sleeping schedule.”  Before he could ask him to clarify Steve raised up a finger and Bucky shut his mouth.  “Let me mix this up and I’ll tell you while it rests.”

Bucky could only nod his head.  He didn’t know Steve well enough that even if he wanted to he wouldn’t push him for the story.  He hated it when Sam or anyone else did it so he figured other people did as well.

He watched Steve make the dough and he felt himself relax more.  He didn’t know why, but baking with Steve and even just watching Steve making stuff soothed him when nothing, not even alcohol, could.

Steve put a towel over the bowl and then put the bowl over the fridge before turning around wiping his hands off on his apron.

“So,” he sat down on the counter right across Bucky.  Bucky wanted to point out that his tight black skinny jeans would be ruined by all the flour and other dry ingredients Steve always seemed to get on the counter, but he kept his mouth shut.  “If you hadn’t already noticed I’m kinda small.”

Bucky nodded.  “I’m not even going to lie, when I met up with you to discuss the apartment I thought someone was pulling my leg for sending out a 16 year old to live on their own.”

Steve mocked glared at him before that tiny crooked smile crept unto his face. “Hardy har har.  Anyways, I was really sick as a child and I was on a lot of medication and whatnot and I was always in bed and, well, I just never slept like a normal person.  I would either sleep too much or not enough or I would sleep too late or too early,” he shook his head with a laugh, “My mom never knew what to do with me.”

He paused before looking up at Bucky.  He shrugged, “I don’t know.  I think that my messed up sleeping schedule just carried itself into adulthood and it didn’t help when I went to college either.”  He laughed before popping his back making Bucky frown with disgust.  “I’ve never had a sleeping schedule.”  He smiled more widely now before it disappeared.  “And yeah, I would ask why you can’t sleep, but you’re right.  I figured it out.”

Bucky wanted to know more about what Steve knew but right at that moment Steve’s phone went off scaring not only him but Steve.

“Fuck who the hell is-Oh.”  Steve’s face didn’t exactly fall, but he didn’t look excited either.  “Sorry, I got to take this call.”  He answered the phone but turned around and said, “Remember, knead the dough then put it in the oven.”

Bucky nodded and Steve smiled before going out the front door.  

Bucky did what he usually did, but without Steve’s presence it didn’t seem to have the same calming effect. 

Bucky didn’t want to think why that was.

When the bread was done and wrapped Bucky went outside to see what was keeping Steve. 

He in fact did not let out a whooping laugh that startled a sleeping Steve nor did he get a glare from the older lady (who never seemed to sleep either and would glare at him when he went out to smoke) down the hall who opened her door just to glare.

Nope, and he didn’t find it all that cute that Steve blushed all the way from his ears down.

*

“Wait.”

Sam looked over his shoulder.  “What?”

Bucky jogged over to his bag and got out the loaf that he and Steve made that night.

“Here have this.  Steve and I have too many in the apartment and the little old lady down the hall won’t accept any more of them until she’s finished the other breads in her freezer.”

Sam looked down at the loaf of bread in Bucky’s hand before taking it.  “Is this a thing now?”

Bucky looked up from zipping his bag and gave him a confused expression.  “What do you mean?”

Sam rolled the loaf between his hands before throwing up it in the air and caught it with a practiced hand.   He stopped and met Bucky’s eye.  “This whole baking bread thing with Steve.  Is this a thing now? Because, before I thought you’d give up on it after a week but it’s been two and some months now and you’re still with it.”

Bucky shrugged as he headed towards the exit.  “I don’t know.  It’s just something that I do to waste the night away.”

Sam looked up at him before nodding.  “If that’s all that is that’s awesome but if there’s more you should tell me you know?”

Bucky paused his hand on the door knob.  He had a feeling Sam knew about his feelings, but he didn’t think he’d bring it up so soon.  He’d only just discovered them himself. 

He turned around and shrugged with a winning smile, “Don’t know what you, man.”

Sam didn’t smile back.  “Yeah, yeah like you don’t know what I mean.”  He looked down at the loaf before pointing it at Bucky like a football.  “By the way you’re looking better.  Keep it up.”

Bucky looked down at himself not really knowing what he was expecting since he didn’t see anything different than he did this morning.

“Thanks.  I guess.”

Sam rolled his eyes before bringing up a hand for a wave.  “See yah in two days.”

Bucky waved back.  “You too.”

Bucky walked away thinking on Sam’s words and even stopped in front of a window to look at himself before giving up on seeing a difference.   He would ask Steve later.  Steve would tell him what’s up.

*

“Hey, Steve,” Steve looked up from tasting their frosting (they had gotten tired of bread and decided cookies would be okay for tonight), “Do I look any different to you?  My friend said I looked better, but I don’t see any difference.”

Steve stared at him for a moment before putting the tasting spoon down and fixed his glasses with a heavy sigh. 

Okay, Bucky was really worried if Steve had to sigh heavily.

“What? What’s wrong with me?”

Steve rolled his eyes before waving a hand.  “Why would you think there was something wrong with you?”

“You sighed like this,” Bucky sighed just a tad bit more heavily than Steve did.  “Something must be wrong with me if you’re sighing like that.”

Steve curled up his lip and then threw some powdered sugar at Bucky.  “I didn’t sigh like that, jerk.  Besides, even if I did it doesn’t mean anything other than I need to breathe.”

Bucky threw the left over flour on the board from when they rolled out the cookies earlier at Steve.  “Shut up.  You definitely sighed and now I need to know why.”

Steve sighed again, and Bucky gave him a look and Steve rolled his eyes even harder before sighing even more heavily and dramatic than before.

“Well,” he drew out the word, “if we’re going to be honest he’s right.  The first time I met you looked down and out and like you hadn’t had a good meal in months.  Now you kinda,” he looked him up and down (Bucky did NOT straighten up even just a little when he did that) before shrugging and motioned with his hands frantically, “just filled out.  It’s not a bad thing.  I swear.”

Bucky finally looked down at himself and this time he could kind of see what Steve and Sam were getting at.  His pants had been getting tighter, but they were too loose for him to begin with so it hadn’t bothered him at all.  He shrugged and smirked at Steve before putting his finger in the icing and licking it off his finger.

“It’s your damn cooking.  I swear, you're trying to fatten me up before cooking me up as well, like in that one fairy tale story.”

Steve rolled his eyes before going over to the oven. He grabbed the handle and looked in to see if they were done.  They must not have been, Bucky figured, when he came up from his slouch and closed the oven door.  “If I wanted to fatten you up it wouldn’t take me three months to do so.”

That actually piqued Bucky’s interest.  “What do you mean?”  His interest was further piqued when Steve turned red and went and checked the cookies all over again. 

“Is it hot in here?  I think the oven is making it hot in here.  Maybe we should call the landlord and see if they can fix it?”

Bucky didn’t take his eyes off Steve, but nodded even though he knew Steve couldn’t see it.  “Yeah, maybe it’s the oven making it hot in here.”

He didn’t push the issue since it clearly made Steve uncomfortable, but Bucky was determined to find out what made Steve blush and why.

*

“Hey, Mrs. Aguallo, do you need any help over there?”

The older Mexican lady turned around with a smile before holding out two grocery bags.  “Please, if you don’t mind James.”

Bucky got the two bags and watched her open her door.  She turned around and smiled at him.   “Come, come, mijo, no need to loiter.”

He smiled at her and entered her apartment.  It was smaller than Steve’s and his, but it was cozy and had that lived in feel like a home should have.  He went over and placed the groceries on the table. He turned around and asked, “Do you need help putting things away?  I have nothing to do and I don’t mind.”

Mrs. Aguallo, like the rest of the tenants, seemed to have massive pride streak and she looked at him for moment before sighing.  “If isn’t any trouble.  Getting down to the cupboard is getting harder and harder these days.”

He smiled wide before grabbing a bag and going down to said cupboard.  He done this before a few weeks before and few weeks before that. 

They got to know each other when he saw her carrying a massive amount of bags in her hands.  He didn’t know how she didn’t topple over since she’s such a tiny lady or lose all the feeling in her arms, but she had gracefully carried them to her door with no problem.  The problem was that she couldn’t get to her key and open the door.  He made sure she saw him and walked over asking if she needed help.  At first she declined his offer, but she kept on trying to wiggle her hands into her purse and Bucky could not NOT help her after that.  He grabbed some of her groceries, the heaviest ones, and waited for her to open her door.  He stood outside and let her shut her door on him as she put the rest of the groceries in her apartment and looked incredulous that Bucky was still there with her groceries still in hand when she opened the door again.  After the third time he helped out, she let him enter her house and let him put away the food in the lower cabinets. After that she started call him mijo and fed him sometimes when he was alone.  She even took Steve and his breads off their hands happily declaring that she never had to buy bread again for her and her husband.

He liked her.  She reminded him of his own mom.

“No problem, Miss.  I’ll get it down in a jiffy.”

She snorted and cracked a smile as he looked behind him and gave her a dazzling smile.  “You real charmer, you know that?”

He shrugged before going back to work.  “If you say so ma’am.”

“Oh, I know so.”  She grabbed the other bag and handed it to him. “Here you, go.  Just hand me the eggs and it’ll all be set.”

He did what he was told and she shuffled off to her fridge.  It didn’t take him long to put the other food items away and before he knew it he was back on his feet patting his jeans. 

“Is there anything else?”

 She shook her head before following him out the door.  “Thank you, James.  You’re a life saver.”

Bucky genuinely laughed at that.  “I’m not ma’am but thank you for the compliment.”  He waved goodbye to her and was near his apartment when she yelled out at him.

“James wait!  I did need something from you!”  

He looked back to see her running back into her apartment. 

He looked up and moved out of the way as his neighbor Rick came out of his door looking stoned and hung over as usual. Bucky didn’t even give him a head nod in acknowledgement.  He didn’t like him since he had started a fight with Steve and had had the nerve to get physical with Steve almost punching him until Bucky stood up and gave him the look he knew could frighten the toughest soldier.  He had apologized and ran off into his apartment and hadn’t said a word since.

Steve had glared at him and said he could take care of himself.  Bucky had shrugged and told him he didn’t like him anyway and seeing him scurry away with his tail between his legs had been the best part of his day.  Steve had glared at him a bit longer before smiling and telling him he hated Rick too, but thought he should at least try being a good neighbor. 

Bucky swore Steve was too kind sometimes for his own good.

Mrs. Aguallo came back and she had a list in her hand and a sheepish smile.  Bucky tilted his head and filed that expression away for future reference.

“What’s up, Miss?”

She waved her hand before asking so fast that it took Bucky a few second longer for him to understand what she was actually saying, “I don’t have much money this month because of Larry’s hospital bills, but if you could get these and bake me a banana nut bread for my Larry that would be so fantastic.”

Bucky blinked and looked down at the list.  It didn’t seem like much and really it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to do this one good deed for her.  She was nice and treated him and Steve right and Bucky always treated his friend’s well.

“Okay,” he smiled and took the list.

She visibly became more relaxed but then she frantically started feeling in her pockets, “I don’t have much, but five dollars should help you little and I’ll pay you guys back when-“

Bucky gently pushed her hand away.  “It’s no problem and we’ll take care of it.  No charge at all.”

The air seemed to be knocked out of her for a second before she smiled wide and Bucky felt awkward when he saw the start of tears in her eyes. 

“You are too nice, James.”  She sniffed and wiped her eyes before hugging him. She pulled back and smiled at him.  She looked down then pointed to one part of the list.  “Those are the things that Larry cannot have and I added some good alternatives you could use and-“  She stopped and breathed in a big breathe before hugging him again.  “Thank you again, mijo.  You have no idea how happy you just made this old lady.”  She stepped back. 

“And tell that boyfriend of yours that he’s looking after you right.  You were too skinny when we first met.”  Bucky didn’t know what to say to that and she smacked his face lightly before going back to her apartment.  “Oh,” she looked back and smiled, “Tell him to feed you more.  I always liked my men on the heavier side.” 

He felt himself blush at that and he blushed harder as she laughed very loudly. 

“I’m just teasing, James.  Bye.”

He weakly waved back at her before going back to his empty apartment.  Steve worked the last shift today so he would be late today.

He didn’t know why having Mrs. Aguallo assume that Steve was his boyfriend made him feel all giddy inside but it did. 

He sighed and banged his head against the counter. 

He knew why and he was getting way into deep and it was all Steve’s fault.

*

“Hey,” Bucky looked up from the bananas he was squishing for the banana nut bread to see Steve rummage in his bag before pulling out a piece of paper.  Steve handed it to Bucky with shaky hands.  Bucky looked at him in question before he took a good look at it and was completely floored at what he saw.

“So, uh, I remembered you said you were thinking of getting another tattoo and since I have some drawing skills I thought I’d draw you a design.”  Steve chuckled in nervousness before coughing.  “So, uh, how do you like it?  You don’t have to use it but I thought this suited you.”

Bucky was speechless.  In front of him was the best tattoo design he had ever seen.   He remembered he told Steve he wanted a tattoo that represented his time serving, and he even told him about the history of the military and how he loved history, especially World War II, and how that it inspired him to join up.  He even told him how he was really into science fiction when he was younger and how it helped some days to cope with his new arm to think he was a cool cyborg from the future.

Steve incorporated all of these things into a different and darker tattoo that Bucky was totally digging.

“Is this based on-?”

“Yeah,” Steve came around and pointed to the soldier’s armor.  “I remember you telling me about that one story about the greatest cyborg soldier ever and I looked it up and I saw some fanart and read the description of what the soldier looked like and I figured this is how he looked.  I mean,” Bucky looked up to see him rub his neck, like he was nervous to be talking about his freaking masterpiece, “I tweaked it a bit because I felt like he needed something more around his stomach to protect it and I gave him half a mask because the fifties mask description was just too campy for me, but yeah.” He looked up and bit his lip and played with his lip ring, his nervous tick, and asked, “Do you like it?”

Bucky really didn’t know what to say.  “Hell’s yeah.  I mean, look at this guy’s arm.  The design is off hook and the red star?  That’s to represent the organization he works for right?”

Steve nodded his head.  “Yeah, I haven’t gotten around to actually reading the books but from what I read the red star meant something right?”

Bucky nodded and looked back to the drawing.  “Yeah,” he rubbed his fingers over the drawing and traced over the words, “Winter Soldier.”

“Yeah, I remember you telling me that that term meant someone was the best soldier out there and well,” he shrugged,” I thought it sounded cool for this design.”

The huge smile on his face was hurting his face so much because it was so wide but Bucky didn’t care.  This was the greatest gift anyone had ever made for him and to think that this was going to be on his arm for the rest of his life was the coolest idea he could ever think of.

“It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen Steve.” He looked up and pulled the little goober to his side.  He felt Steve’s glasses go crooked on his head and he felt Steve trying to squirm his way out of his hold but he didn’t care.  He hugged Steve as hard as he could and even kissed him on the top of his head.

“Thank you, Steve.  It’s the best gift I could ever receive.”  He held on to him for longer than necessary but Steve didn’t seem to mind as he got his trapped arms away from Bucky’s trap and hugged him back even harder.

“You’re welcome, Buck.”

They stayed like that for few good moments before Bucky slowly let go of Steve.  He fixed Steve’s crooked glasses.  They looked at each other for a good while just staring into each other’s eyes after that.  They had been doing that a lot lately and Bucky couldn’t say he didn’t like it.

Steve was the first to look away with his skin pinker than it was a minute ago. “So, uh, are you going to use it?”

Bucky just watched him for a moment.  They still hadn’t stopped touching each other. They had space between them but Steve still had his hands on his waist.  Speaking of his waist.

Bucky finally stepped out of their embrace even though he’d rather stay in their intimate bubble.  “Yeah, after I go shopping I’m going to go to the shop.”  He looked down at the drawing and he couldn’t help the smile that crept onto it.  “I know this is going to take more than one session to do but it’s going to be worth it.”

Steve crept back into his space and poked him on the cheek.  “What are you going shopping for?”

Bucky shrugged, but he started to feel uncomfortable.  It wasn’t like he minded too much that he had gained twenty pounds in less than four months but the last time he was this big was when he was little and the kids and the adults weren’t so nice to fat kids.  Bucky didn’t want to say he had a complex but he knew he did.

“I have to get more clothes. I seemed to out grown these.”

Steve tilted his head before stepping back and giving Bucky a once over.  Bucky didn’t even blink an eye at this.   They had been living for four months together and already he’d seen Steve naked (on accident) and Steve has seen him naked (not quite on accident since he didn’t know Steve was home and when he did see Steve he just shrugged and went on with what he was doing) so Steve looking at him was nothing. 

“Why?  Your pants look like they're fitting you just fine.”

Bucky raised a skeptical eyebrow at that.  “Right and these,” he grabbed a good amount of skin from where they were hanging over his jeans and pulled, “say different.”

Steve laughed at that. Bucky just stared at him as he opened up the flour bin.  “What?”

Steve just shook his head and looked at him before busting a gut.  Bucky didn’t know what was going on but he knew it was at his expense.

“I think I’m missing the punchline here, buddy.”

Steve wiped his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths before saying, “No, it’s just-“ he laughed a bit more before wheezing, “You don’t even have what could constitute as love handles and you want to get new pants?”

Bucky furrowed his brow before he reached to the side to the flour bin and threw a big handful of flour right at Steve’s face.  Steve was laughing too hard to protect himself and most of the flour went straight to his face.   He coughed up a flour cloud and seemed to die from coughing before evening out breaths.  He glared at Bucky through flour covered glasses and Bucky glared back.

“It’s not funny.”

Steve wiped his face then cleaned his glasses.  “It was a minute ago before you made it your duty to make me die from flour.”  He snorted and put his glasses back on.  “Now that would be a great head stone.  Here lies Steven Grant Rogers.  Killed by flour that made a delicious banana nut bread.”  He laughed, but he stopped at Bucky’s expression.  “Come on.”  He walked over and Bucky backed away from his outstretched hands.  Steve rolled his eyes and brought up his hands.  “I’m not going to do anything unsavory.”  At Bucky’s raised eyebrow he rolled his eyes again and brought a hand to his heart.  “I promise on my poor sinner’s heart?”

Bucky rolled his eyes.  “Shut up.”

Steve just smiled as he stepped closer to Bucky.  He was too far into Bucky’s space that Bucky usually would have made whoever was invading his space leave him alone immediately.  Since it was Steve, though, he let him come into his bubble.  He hated and loved how Steve could get underneath his skin.

Steve looked up between his lashes before putting his hands on Bucky’s hips.  Bucky’s heart was beating a thousand miles a minute and his mouth was totally dry but he could not for the life of him take his eyes off Steve.

“Just so you know my hands are always cold as ice.”

“What do you-“ Bucky jumped as Steve’s, as promised, cold hands snuck underneath his shirt and touched his skin.  Bucky licked his lips as Steve took a good amount of his small love handle and squeezed.

“See?”  Steve rolled the tiny amount of skin between his fingers.  “I can barely even mess with it.”  He looked Bucky right in the eye.  “I can’t even play with it if I wanted to.”

Bucky’s heart leaped into his throat and it took him a moment for him to make his throat move.  “Would you, if you could?”

Steve paused touching him before frowning and tilting his head.  He looked up at Bucky before moving away from him.

Bucky really missed his hands on his skin.  He was going to go insane he knew it and it was going to be Steve’s fault.

Steve turned around and shrugged.  “I would have to fatten you up before I could even begin to answer that Buck.”

Bucky smiled as Steve finally started to call him Bucky more instead of James.  He walked over and crowded into Steve before whispering into his ear, “Maybe you’ll have to.”

He walked away and said he was heading to the bathroom before starting the banana nut bread again, but he didn’t miss the hungry look Steve gave him as he walked away.

He was definitely going to go insane and it would all be worth it if he could just find the courage to say something.

*

-And then he told me, why the long face?- Clint made an over exaggerated sad face. –Then I punched him in the face.-

Bucky could only shake his head.  Clint was a character for sure and he was glad that he was in one of his group therapy meetings. 

Since his accident his arm wasn’t functional and they had used an experimental procedure where they put in alloys in his arms that used their own electricity to help stimulate the nerves.  At first Bucky thought it was unsuccessful and he was going to be this failed Frankenstein experiment, but after months of physical therapy it at had started to finally work.   Now his arm was fully functional and he could feel everything and had total use all of it. 

Bucky still felt like a freak though whenever he looked down his arm and saw all the scarring the accident had left and he realized that he could still use the damn thing.

He choked down a laugh as Clint started making weird faces to the kids walking past them.  The kids didn’t even bat an eyelash at his shenanigans.

When he went to his fifth group therapy meeting he thought he was going to leave like the last four but then Clint came in.  The look on the group leader’s face made Bucky stay just to see what would happen.  Clint’s explosive, and sometimes cynical personality kept him there.  Learning that Clint had hearing aids that he would use to mess with people made Bucky want to be friends with him even more.

After striking up a conversation and passing Clint’s friendship test (Bucky still doesn’t know what it was, but Clint assured him that he passed) Clint had helped him start to learn American Sign Language.  Bucky had picked up fast (Well, that’s what Clint said but Bucky wasn’t so sure since he still made a lot of mistakes but Clint reassured him he was doing fine) and now him and Clint had full length conversations in ASL.  It helped Bucky to think they were spies and they were talking in a secret language and if he made a mistake that that was another mission blown. 

He told Clint this once and Clint laughed before saying he was James Bond and Bucky was the Bond Girl with the cyborg arm to seduce their enemies.

The fact Clint could joke about his arm had made him a bosom buddy right away.

-So, what happened to your face?  I know the people you hang out with and I know the guy didn’t just let you slug his face without any consequence.-

Clint shrugged.  –Whatever. Hey,- he pointed to the other side of the road, -Is that your roommate?-

Bucky’s head snapped to see where Steve was and he even stood on his toes for a second to get a better look before snapping his head back to a laughing Clint.

-You should’ve seen your face!-

Bucky glared before flipping him off and signing some expletive words at Clint.

-You want to kiss him!-  Clint made a very disgusting kissing face and noises.  –You want to fuck him.-  Before Clint could do an obscene gesture at that Bucky felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Steve staring at Clint with an amused expression.

“He does know he’s in public right?”

Bucky felt a smile creep on his face without his permission and he rolled his eyes as Clint did make another crude face and more awkward noises.

“He does, he’s just an obscene little troll who doesn’t know better.”

Clint flipped him off before signing some rather offensive signs at Bucky and Bucky was glad Steve didn’t know ASL.

Steve covered his mouth and made the choked noise he made when he tried to stop himself from laughing.  He leaned into Bucky and said behind his hands.  “He has a colorful vocabulary.”

Bucky just stared down at Steve in bewilderment but then it turned into a face of horror when Clint signed, -Oh, what are the love birds talking about? Having babies?  Getting married? Fucking—

Steve’s face was super red like his but he calmly signed back, -You do know I can understand you?-

Bucky had never seen Clint turn so red or look so embarrassed in his life and he had done things a thousand times worse than this.

-Sorry. I’m an ass.-

Bucky could only stare at Clint because even though he cursed like he breathed and was embarrassing on so many levels he was usually more eloquent than this.

Steve smiled before signing.  –I can see that.-

He looked over at Bucky and covered his mouth before whispering, “If this is the way you want to tell me you like me it’s a really horrible but still very funny way of doing it.”

Bucky turned an even brighter red and Steve let out a loud laugh.  “Just kidding.”

He turned to Clint and signed, -Nice to meet you and you should come over some time.- before turning to Bucky and saying, “See you at home, jerk.”

Bucky didn’t know what to do but mumble his goodbye and waved awkwardly as Steve walked away to no doubt one of his art classes.  It was a Tuesday and for some Tuesdays Steve would come home early then leave to work from there and other times he’d pick up his work stuff then leave for the rest of the day.  It bothered Bucky more than it should that he didn’t know Steve’s exact schedule.

Clint looked so horrified at Bucky and put his hearing aid in and asked.  “Did I fuck up? Like really really fucked up right there?”

Bucky rubbed a hand over his face.  “Yes, and no Clint.”

Clint looked bewildered at that.  “What does that even mean?”

“I’ll tell you later.  I need tea before I can even begin to explain it.”

*

“Wait, so you’re saying that you guys are totally into each other but neither one of you has made a move to get together?”

-Idiots.-

“You got that right.”  Sam shook his head.  “What’s up, Bucky?  Are you chickening out on us?”

Bucky rolled his eyes before swirling his straw around in his cup of tea.  “Shut up, guys.  It’s not like I haven’t thought about it but,” he shrugged, “I don’t know if he really does like me or if I’m just projecting.”

At the silence Bucky looked up to see both Clint and Sam looking at him like he was the village idiot.

“What?  Stop looking at me like that.”

Clint rolled his eyes then started to tap right under his hearing aid.  “We’ll stop staring at you when you stop being such a dumb ass.”

Bucky curled his lip. “Like you’re one to talk, Mr. Potty Mouth.”

Clint flipped him off and Sam waved it off. 

“Look, what’s the worst that could happen?  You ask him out and he says no?  That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Bucky gave Sam a deadpanned stare before taking a drink.  “No, the worst case is that he’ll feel so awkward being around me that we’ll stop doing our midnight baking thing and we stop being friends because he fears I’ll do something and then one of us has to leave because it becomes too unbearable to live together and we never see each other again.”

If Sam’s mouth was opened any wider flies would fly in and make home.  Clint looked at him with a look of disbelief and understanding.

“What?” He shrugged and bit hard on his straw.  “It could happen.”

Clint shook his head before sitting down properly on his chair (he had been sitting on his haunches on the chair).  “Wow, and here I thought I had issues.”

Without looking at him Sam and Bucky said, “You do,” in unison.

“Look,” Sam went into therapist mode. “Buck from what you’ve told me about Steve he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to do that.  It seems to me that he’d talk to you first about anything before doing anything rash.”

Bucky snorted.  “You obviously don’t know him then.”

Clint hit his arm.  “What do you mean?  All you do is praise this dude to high heaven and now you’re telling us he’s not as perfect as you make him out to be?”

He shook his head.  “No, he is perfect, but-“ he waved his hands trying to convey what he meant through hand movements.

“He’s not?”

“Yeah,” he pointed at Sam.  “Sometimes he comes home bloodied up because he got in a fight to save some old ladies honor or something.”

“Wow, what an awful guy.”

He glared at Clint.  “And he forgets to eat sometimes which drives me up the wall since he starts acting all grumpy and murderous when his blood sugar is low and for some reason seems to want to make me fat.”

His head went back in shock and he looked down at his empty drink in shock.  He did NOT mean to say that out loud.

“So, you’re saying he’s into feederism?  And that bothers you?”

Bucky was expecting Clint to know what feederism was (he looked it up to see if what Steve seemed to want to do had a name to it), but he didn’t exactly expect Sam to know what it was.

“What?  You guys aren’t the only messed up people I talk to, you know?”

Clint smiled then clapped Sam on his back.  “You’re not as vanilla as I thought, Wilson.”

“You’re as dumb as I thought, Barton,” Sam said in a deadpanned tone.

“Touché!”

Sam shook his head before turning back to Bucky, “Did you look up what feederism is?”

He nodded.

“And is it a deal breaker?”

Bucky started to squirm at that.  He never thought he was ever going to explain to anyone let alone his therapist turned friend or his crazy group therapy friend about his feelings on feederism.  He never thought he’d be having this conversation period.

“I don’t know.  It doesn’t seem as weird as some of things my other exes have wanted to try in the past.”

Sam covered Clint’s mouth.  “So, gaining weight wouldn’t be a big thing to you?  Or having him stuff you?”’

Bucky just stared at Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes.  “Stop acting so scandalized.  I’m not as straight laced as you guys think.”

“No.” Bucky shook his head.  “I just never thought we’d ever be talking about this so calming and civilly.”

Clint maneuvered away from Sam’s hand.  “Why not?  It’s just another aspect of sex that some people like.  It’s nothing to be feel ashamed or weird over.”

Sam and Bucky stared in surprise at Clint.

“That was uh-“

“Very mature of you, Barton.”

Clint seemed to preen at that.  “I have my moments.  Plus I’m into even weirder stuff so this stuff doesn’t even phase me.”

Bucky shook his head.  He didn’t even want to know what Clint was into.  He doubted Clint would not ever tell him but he wished not to know the grisly detailed just yet.

“Back to me.”

“Yes,” Sam turned back to him, “Back to you.  What do you think of all of it?  Because if he’s into this you know you guys are going to have to have this conversation and you’re going to have to tell him how you feel.  It’s only right to let him know.”

Bucky gulped down his nervousness.   “Yeah, you’re right.  I just don’t know how I’m going to do it since I’ve never done this before.”

“But are you willing to try it?”

Bucky shrugged.  “Yeah, I guess.”

In unison, Clint and Sam said, “Then tell him that.”

All Bucky could do was nod.  “I will.”

Clint looked unconvinced at Sam while Sam shrugged at him.

Bucky made an offended noise.  “What was that look for?”

Clint shrugged.  “All I’m saying is that the proof is in the pudding and right now you’re not even in the prepping stage.”

Sam slowly nodded his head while his lips did an approving frown.  “I actually like that analogy.”

Clint nodded back before bringing up his fist that Sam bumped.  “I knew you would.  You appreciate my analogies like no one else.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.  “You, guys are so dumb.  I hate you.”

At the exact same time and exact annoying tone Sam and Clint turned to him and singed songed to him, “No you dooooon’t!”

It took him a moment but finally he decided that Sam would be the one to receive the blunt end of his tea cup.

Sam’s laughter as Clint blocked the cup made Bucky kick them both in the shins.

He decided that running away would be the best way to keep himself alive at the two looks Clint and Sam gave him.

*

“Hey, your friends were outside so I just let them. . .in.”

Before Steve could finish his sentence Bucky was off of the couch and was locked into his room.  He cursed underneath his breath as he put all his weight against the door.  He did not trust Sam and Clint at all.

“Bucky?” 

He cursed underneath his breath again.  They weren’t to go that low would they?

“Bucky could you open the door?  Your Deaf friend keeps bothering me and your other one- Uh, I mean Sam, keeps staring at me.”  He heard Steve knock quietly again.  “Please?”

Goddamnit, they were going to play low right now.

He heavily sighed before unlocking the door.  Before he could even open it it’s being shoved opened by a heavy weight which Bucky is expecting is both Sam and Clint because he’s putting all his strength into keeping the door close but it’s getting harder with each passing moment.

“YOU LOW LIVES!”

“It’s not our fault that you fell for that!”

“GO AWAY!”

“NO!” Both Clint and Sam yelled back before they succeeded in pushing themselves into his room and Bucky was flung back as well.  He got his footing back in time to see Sam and Clint gathering their own footing.  For a moment they just stared at each other before Sam and Clint tackled him unto his bed.

They were not forgiving at all.   Sam had him in a chokehold while Clint was pinching him all over.

“OW! THAT HURTS!”

Clint rolled his eyes before twisting his nipple really, really hard.  “It’s not supposed to be pleasant, moron.”

He tried to kick him away but Clint saw it and got away from him in time before sitting on his legs.  “Stop being a sore loser and take your punishment.”

“I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

Clint and Sam both snorted as he got one of his arms out of Sam’s hold and elbowed Sam in the ribs. 

“Hey! I’m not doing anything!”

“Anything my ass, you’re-,” from the corner of his eye Bucky saw Steve look into his room, “Steve! Save me!”

Steve did a double take before hesitantly coming into his room.  He watched as Sam took Bucky’s arm again and watched as Clint pinched Bucky’s other nipple.

He smirked before bringing up the coffee cup he had in his hand (which never had coffee but water as Bucky learned one day) and took a sip before asking, “What’s in it for me?” 

Everything stopped as all three of them stared at Steve. 

“Are you kidding me?  I’m being torn apart here and you’re extorting me?”

Steve crookedly smiled before shrugging.  “I want something and for your insolence I’d suggest you two tickle him.  Nothing’s unmanlier than dying in a tickle fight.”

Real fear flashed in Bucky’s eyes as he looked at Sam and Clint.  He knew he was going to die when he saw two twin evil smirks.

“No, don’t-“

He was dead before he could finish his sentence.  He didn’t think he would die from such a traitorous act.

All of them stopped again when they heard a loud wheezing laugh.  They all looked at Steve who was turning red faced and doubling over in laughter.

“Oh my god.” Bucky raised both eyebrows in surprise and question at the tears streaming down Steve’s face.  “I-I didn’t think you’d take me serious.  Oh god.”  He was laughing so hard that he fell down the wall slowly with one arm around his stomach and the other holding onto a sloshing coffee cup.  “Two grown ass men tickling another grown ass man.  Oh my god.” 

There was a knock on their front door and Steve somehow got up and left Bucky’s room.

Clint, Sam, and Bucky all looked at each other before scrambling out of Bucky’s room to see Steve opening the door to a group of women who all looked too shocked for words.

One of the women, with short brown hair curled up in the nicest fifties hairdo Bucky had ever seen on a woman, simply looked shocked at Steve before looking at them and said in the most surprised voice ever, “You broke Steve.”

Bucky never thought he’d meet Steve’s friends this way, but there it was.

*

After Steve stopped laughing and actually started breathing again Bucky got introduced to Natasha Romanov, who frightened him for some unknown reason even though she looked nice enough, Peggy Carter, she had a military bearing and didn’t seem like the type to shy away from confrontation even though she dressed like she was going to the Oscars, and one Pepper Potts, who Bucky guessed right that she was a business woman just by her bearing. 

Natasha tried talking to Clint but Clint was being an ass and pretended to not hear what she was saying, Bucky knew he had his hearing aid on, and started speaking in fast ASL complimenting her eyes, hair, and dress, and he even said how he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  Natasha had just smiled and retorted back in Russian how he was an idiot and how she understood everything he just signed.

Bucky had never seen Clint looked so smitten before.

“What just happened?”

Bucky turned and whispered back to Steve, “I think Clint just fell in love.”

Steve hmmed before saying, “I think Natasha did too, but don’t tell her that.  She’ll dig her heels in and they’ll never get anywhere.”

He looked over at Natasha before turning back to Steve and asked, “How do you know?”

Steve gave him an incredulous look over his glasses before fixing them back into place.  “How can you not?”

Bucky rolled his eyes.  “Oh, yes.  I’ve known her for how long? Five minutes? Yeah, I can totally tell she’s smitten.”

Steve pinched him hard on the arm.  “Don’t be a dick about it and plus your friends are easy to read. It’s good to know my friends are more interesting.”

Before Bucky could defend his friend’s interesting-ness his attention was pulled away by soft, quiet feminine laughter. 

“What are the love birds whispering over there?” Peggy had on a Cheshire smile as she looked between Bucky and Steve.  Bucky didn’t know how what to do under her gaze and started to fidget with the bottom of his shirt.

“They were probably whispering sweet nothing in each other’s ears.”  Natasha filled her wine glass nearly to the brim with a satisfied smirk.

“No, they were probably flirting with each other and both of them were too dumb to realize it.”

Bucky threw a glare at Sam’s smarmy face.

-Or they were talking about how lame we are and how cool you guys are?-

Natasha threw an olive at Clint and Clint surprisingly caught it in his mouth.  She rolled her eyes, but she had a small smirk on her face.

Pepper hit Peggy and Natasha’s arms with a newspaper before saying, “Stop embarrassing Steve.”

Bucky had totally forgotten Steve in his embarrassment and looked down to see Steve red in the face, ears, and neck.   He wasn’t even looking at him anymore just staring at his glass of white wine in silence, probably too embarrassed to even look at him.

“Thanks, Pepper.”

Pepper reopened her newspaper and hid behind it as she said, “It’s okay,Steve, some romances just need to blossom slowly before they can get anywhere.”

Bucky would have loved her laughter as Steve threw a piece of cheese at her if her amusement was not at his expense. 

Sam smiled at Pepper.  “I like you.  I think I’m gonna keep you.”

Pepper raised her hands up (she had already put down the paper when Steve threw the cheese at her) and said firmly but gently, “Hold it there lady killer, I’m flattered you like this,” she gestured to all of herself, “But I’m taken.”

Bucky, Sam, and Clint looked at each other before all cracking up. 

Steve pinched him for being rude while Natasha threw some cheese at Clint’s head (which he caught in his hand then he put it on the counter) and called him an idiot in Russian while Peggy and Pepper looked at each other in confusion.

-Look Bucky!  Sam’s a lady killer!  And I’m a possum!-

Clint, Sam, and Bucky all uproariously laughed again as the girls and Steve just looked on in confusion.

“I feel like we’re missing something.”

“Nice observation, Pepper.”

“Nice sarcasm, Peggy.”

“I do try to my best, Steve.”

Finally after laughing for a good minute the boys got themselves together and Bucky laughed out, “It’s funny because-“

“Shh.” Sam waved Bucky’s half explanation away, “See, Pepper, I’m flattered that you think I’m a lady killer and that I was making an advance towards you bu,t I’m sorry to say-“

“He’s gay as they come and in love with his stupid boyfriend Riley who doesn’t like me but, puts up with me because Sam likes me.”

The fact that when Pepper, and Peggy screamed Natasha grabbed a knife, Peggy’s hand went to her hip, and Pepper threw her pen at Clint’s head said a whole lot about them.   Bucky filed all their reactions down for future reference.

“Why did you guys scream?”

“HE TALKS!”

“I know he does Pepper, but you didn’t have to give me a heart attack like that!”

“I thought you were Deaf?” Peggy had the decency to look embarrassed at her question.

Natasha gave both her friends the most incomprehensible look before throwing her arms in the air, “Are you guys that unobservant?  Come on! Peggy you’re the head of the FBI for Christ’s sake and Pepper you’re the CEO of a very powerful company and you’re telling me you couldn’t tell he had his hearing aid on?  For fuck’s sake I almost killed someone!”

Bucky turned to a very noticeably exasperated Steve and whispered, “Okay, so I’ll admit you do have some interesting friends.”

Steve shook his head as he looked at his friend’s arguing over safety protocols.  “They’re usually less interesting I assure you.”

For some reason when Sam got into an argument with Pepper over foreign trade and Peggy, Clint, and Natasha got sloshed while they told stories about their early days in their service careers over wine that Bucky thought tasted like piss he thought he could handle Steve’s interesting friends.  Even if all of them were meddling.

*

“Your friends can drink.” Bucky threw the fourth large bottle of wine away before going over to the mostly done cheese and cracker tray and throwing that away.

“Well, your friends know how to keep my friends on their toes which is a major accomplishment.  Most guys are too intimidated to talk to them or they act like asses around them.  I’m glad that you have great friends or I might have had to kick you out otherwise.”

Bucky turned around with a raised eyebrow before finishing off what was left of the fifth bottle of wine.  “You would have had to kick me out?  Really?  What if you had horrible friends?  Are those grounds for your dismissal?”

Steve smiled back before going over to the take out drawer.  “My name is first on the lease.  You can’t exactly kick me out of my own home.”

Bucky watched as Steve sorted through their take out menus before pausing and took out two menus. 

“Aren’t you full from all the assorted snacks your friends brought over?”

Steve shrugged before looking over each menu.  “No, unlike you guys I didn’t actually eat anything.  Mixing wine and cheese messes with my stomach.”  He paused at one of the menus, Bucky figured by its purple coloring it was the Chinese place down the block, then brought it up and asked, “Do you want Golden City tonight?”

Bucky shrugged before grabbing a towel and wiping the rest of the droplets Clint left over from his piss poor job of cleaning up when he spilt his wine when he tried impressing Natasha with his command of the Russian language.  Too bad in his drunken state he confused Arabic for Russian because Bucky thought he actually had a chance at impressing her.

“Nah, not feeling it.  I had it the other day when you went to the store.”

Steve slowly nodded before freezing and slowly raised his head giving Bucky a questioning look.  “Are you telling me that you ate Chinese before I came back from the store and made you spaghetti which you had three helpings of?”

Bucky blushed before shrugging and opening another bottle of wine.  He only had a glass and whatever was left over from the aftermath of their impromptu party. 

“What?  I was hungry.”

He decided against drinking straight from the bottle and grabbed a random glass, he thinks it was Sam’s, and poured himself a hefty portion.

“One, are you not grossed out that someone else not related to you used that glass?  Two, when have you had a big appetite?  Last time I checked you could barely stomach two meals.”

Bucky paused with the lip of the glass at his mouth.  He looked over at Steve and just stared at Steve for a moment before raising an eyebrow.

Steve had the decency to look awkward.  “Sorry, I just notice things and I noticed that when you first came here you barely ate anything.”  He started to look through the take out drawer again.  “You don’t have to answer my question if you don’t want.  I’m just curious that’s all.”

Bucky watched Steve for a moment before taking a long slow swig of wine.  He didn’t like the taste of wine but he hadn’t gotten sloshed in a long time and he was too lazy to go get his own favorite draft beer.  Steve was right in that he didn’t have to answer his question.  He would have actually thought it rude and would have said as much to the person’s face, but this was Steve and they had been living together for well over five months.  It’s not that strange that he had noticed things about Bucky and wanted to know more about them.

He took another drink before going over and crowded into Steve’s space as he quickly leafed through the drawer and picked out the hideously pink paper he had ever seen and gave it over to Steve.

“I’m feeling Mexican and this place is better than El Charro’s.”  He looked down at Steve and watched as Steve didn’t react to him being so close in his space before moving over a little and leaned on the counter.   “First, I used to swap spit with people I didn’t know on a regular basis when I was younger so drinking out of someone’s cup I do know doesn’t freak me out all that much.”

Steve looked at him before moving away to sit on one of the bar stools.  He was worrying his lip ring again.  Bucky had been thinking of getting his own piercings but decided that until he could find a steady job that that little project would have to wait.  Getting Steve’s tattoo was going to bleed him dry for a while anyway.  He could wait to get some gages later.

He shrugged before taking another drink of wine.  He looked down at the wine when he was finished and stirred it around remembering his first months back being a civilian.

“After I came back after my deployment I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and all other array of mental fuckery.”  He took another sip.  “When I first started therapy for my arm I was on all of these drugs to help with this hand so I wasn’t on anti-depressants or anything until after I got out of the hospital.”  He shrugged.  “By the time I met you I was switching from one anti-depressant to another.  I had to finish the first anti-depressant before being solely on the second one.”  He took another drink.  “I don’t know.  Both of the anit-depressants and the Ambien I was taking had the side effect of lost appetite so, I don’t know, I guess I didn’t have an appetite for a while.”  He closed the take out drawer with his hip then looked at Steve.  “After switching and getting off Ambien, I started to get my appetite back.”  He couldn’t help the self-deprecating smile.  “My mother used to scold me for eating so much when I was little so I’ve always tried to eat smaller portions but, I don’t know, I guess after not being able to eat without taking two bites and feeling like if you ate anymore you’d explode that finding out that you actually love eating again that eating all the time doesn’t feel like such a big deal anymore.”

He just watched Steve as Steve watched him.  He was looking to see what changes this snippet of his life would have on how Steve felt and acted towards him. 

Sometimes people were sympathetic because he was a soldier and they understood the vague idea what PTSD was about.  Other times people looked at him like he was failure for even thinking that a pill would cure him of something that “wasn’t real”.  He had theory which one Steve was but he needed to see for himself.

Steve nodded his head as if filing down this information for later then looked down at the menu.

“I don’t know what to get here, Buck.  What’d you suggest?”

Bucky felt himself smile and a little bit of himself relaxed.  Steve didn’t make a big deal of what he just said but the way he changed the subject had the attitude of, “Ah, brand new information.  Will store, and think about it later, and maybe ask about it more later,” than the more often, “Oh, shit. This is awkward better switch topics.”

He walked over and leaned over Steve and pointed to the right section marked Burritos.  “The carne asada burrito is good if you like hot things, but if you want to go with something plain and simple the bean burrito is good and the cheese crisp.”

“Uh, what’s a cheese crisp?”

Bucky thought about it then shrugged.  “It’s like an opened faced quesadilla, I guess.”

Steve blinked.  “Well then, guess burrito it is.”  He looked up at Bucky and didn’t flinch when their faces where just a few inches apart.  “What are you going to get?”

Bucky stared down at Steve’s lips, he didn’t get why looking at Steve’s mouth was the most erotic thing ever but it was, then looked back up to Steve’s eyes.  “I’ll call and order.”

Steve squinted his eyes at him before asking, “Why don’t I?  I can do a simple order you know?”

Bucky rolled his eyes.  “I know.  I just know exactly what I want and it would be easier if I just called it in.”

This time Steve looked down at his lips before licking his.  “I have no idea what you mean and I find that ridiculous.”

Bucky couldn’t help but stare at as Steve licked his lips again.  He didn’t even realize he was mimicking the motion with his own lips until he noticed Steve’s eyes following his tongue.

“Well, you just gonna have to wait in see then.”

He moved away from his position and cleared his throat trying to get some semblance of control back.  He hadn’t meant for his voice to come out so throaty and low and he saw how Steve sucked in his breath at his voice.

He wanted to make a move but first he had to figure something out first.

Maybe after they ate Bucky could do more than just stare at Steve.

*

“Okay, now I understand why you ordered.”

Bucky smirked as he signed the receipt and made sure he gave the poor delivery guy a twenty-five percent tip for having to come so late. The guy didn’t look any happier as he got the receipt and left.

Bucky shrugged.  He turned and saw Steve staring at the buffet of Mexican food laid right on their table.   There was literally no space for anything other than the food.  Bucky could see that the guy actually did bring him the extra tortillas he knew were just warmed to perfection.

“What can I say I’m hungry?”

He really wasn’t.  He could tell that if he waited he would be starving in a few hours but right now he wasn’t full nor hungry he was alright.  He needed to know, though, if he could do this. . .thing that Steve seemed to want to do.

He owed it to himself and Steve to figure out if he could hang with the big boys so to speak.

Steve didn’t take his eyes from the food and just nodded.  “Apparently.  How much did this cost?”

Bucky pushed away the money Steve tried to give him and Steve gave him the most betrayed look ever.  “Never you mind.  Now open up that bag right there.  I bet the ice cream is already half melted.”

Steve looked at him like he was crazy.  “Ice cream? At a Mexican restaurant?”

Bucky smirked as he pushed Steve aside, opened the bag then the two boxes the ice cream was in.  “I told you this place was better than El Charro.”

He opened the box and full on smiled when he heard Steve’s surprise gasp.  “What the hell is that?”

Bucky went into the kitchen and got two spoons and two forks.  “It’s called fried ice cream and it’s delicious.”

He sat down as Steve stared at the half melted ice cream.  “What’s in it?”

Bucky gave the forks and spoons to Steve before pulling up two stools.  “Its vanilla ice cream covered with cinnamon and cornflakes then deep fried and then topped with whip cream and honey.” He shrugged, “Or chocolate but I’m not really feeling it right now so I didn’t get it.”

Steve stared at Bucky at that.  “But how can they fry ice cream, though? Wouldn’t it melt?”

Bucky shrugged before grabbing a big spoonful.  “I don’t know the physics of it Steve but its awesome . Now eat it.”  He moved the spoon right in front of Steve’s face.

Funnily enough Steve actually moved away from the spoon.  He wasn’t quick enough and still got some whip cream on his cheek.  He wiped it away but there was still a streak of whip cream on his cheek and Bucky couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“Jesus, Buck, I can feed myself you know?”

He rolled his eyes before pushing the spoon towards Steve’s mouth again.  “I know, now shut up and try it, idiot.”

Steve glared at him but he did take a bite, the tiniest bite Bucky had ever seen someone take, and he was going to call foul on it when Steve tasted it and seemed to perk up.

“Give me that.”  He tried grabbing the spoon but Bucky pulled it away from him.  He glared at him and held out his hand.  “Buck.”

He couldn’t help but smirk.  He used to do this all the time when he was younger (he was a shit he could admit that much) and he couldn’t help but feel that immature glee at having outstretched someone.

“Nope, since you’re being pouty I get to feed you.”

Steve glared even harder at him before suddenly he got the most mischievous look and smile Bucky had ever seen on him. 

His smirk slowly died.

“Fine, but if you do that I get to feed you too.  And not just the ice cream but other things too.”

Bucky froze at that.  He slowly brought down the spoon trying to comprehend what Steve had just said.  He was just playing around.  He did not expect this to come out of it and he wanted to say no out of pure contrariness, but he also wanted to try this thing out.  He didn’t know what to do but when Steve’s playful smile started to slowly die he made a decision.

“Fine, but I’ll warn you even though I brought two forks I don’t eat a lot with a fork with Mexican so it’ll get messy.”

Steve’s smile came back fully and he scooted closer to him.  Bucky felt his heart beat pick up as Steve leaned forward and wrapped his mouth around his spoon in one clean motion.   His couldn’t breathe for a second when Steve slowly pulled back and licked his lips in the process.

He could get use to this.

Steve chewed and swallowed what he had then opened his mouth like a baby bird.  Bucky laughed and got another spoon full. 

Steve happily ate away while Bucky was having a problem.  He didn’t even know if what he was doing was even right since reading articles and actually doing the thing was totally different but Steve seemed content.  Well, really content actually.  He kept looking up through his long eyelashes staring at him hungrily as he pulled away from the spoon. 

It wasn’t anything even that erotic but from reason Bucky was transfixed.  When Bucky was done with the ice cream he was actually surprised at how disappointed he was at that fact.

Steve on the other hand jumped up right away and got the other box of ice cream.  He opened it up like a kid on Christmas and it looked like he couldn’t get a hold of the spoon fast enough. 

Bucky watched him and he was actually feeling excited about this thing they were doing.  He’d never been fed before or been stuffed or whatever those articles said but, Steve’s excitement was contagious.

“It’s almost melted.”  Steve looked almost put out.  “Do you still want to eat it?”

Bucky didn’t actually like melted ice cream but seeing how put out Steve got he couldn’t just say no.

“I’m fine.”

Steve perked up so much Bucky couldn’t help but answer Steve’s smile with his own.  

It was weird, he wasn’t going to lie.  He hadn’t been spoon fed by anyone but his mother since he was toddler and he felt very foolish and childish about it all. Just the way Steve was staring at him, though, like he and this spoon of ice cream were his entire universe was getting to him. 

The topping was soggy, the ice cream was melted along with most of the whip cream, but watching Steve follow his tongue as he licked the honey off lips was quickly becoming his new favorite activity.

It didn’t take long for him to eat the ice cream but it felt like an eternity.  The little bubble of intimacy they had was intoxicating.  Bucky wanted to do something, wanted to say something, but he feared he’d just ruin the moment with his inexperience.  He kept quiet and decided to let Steve lead.

Steve looked around at the table before looking back at him.  “What do you want to eat first?”

Bucky shrugged before leaning over and grabbing a random box.  He opened it and smiled because in it was Spanish rice, refried beans, and so much little bits of pork meat covered in the most delicious red chile sauce he had ever eaten.

“This is fine, but grab those,” he pointed to a brown bag, “It has the tortillas in it.”

Steve nodded before doing as he was told.  When he looked back he raised an eyebrow as Bucky got his fork and mixed the rice, beans, and chile meat together.  When he was done he snorted at Steve’s disgusted look.

“Really?  You’re gonna eat that?”

He looked down at his food and he could admit that it wasn’t pretty but he knew it tasted fantastic together.

“Just because I don’t care if my food touches or not doesn’t mean it doesn’t taste good, Steve.” 

He laughed as Steve flipped him off.

“I thought you said you didn’t use a fork when you ate Mexican?”

Bucky shrugged before taking the bag and getting out a still warm tortilla.  He smiled as he smelt the freshness of it.  The main reason he loved this place was because they made their tortillas fresh and to order.  He didn’t know how they made them so good but they had ruined any other tortilla for him and he didn’t care.

He tore it a piece off before offering it to Steve.  “Eat it.”

He didn’t expect Steve to eat from his hand again.  He thought he was done feeding him, but he guessed he was wrong.

Steve nodded his head as he ate the tortilla before swallowing and saying, “Wow, that actually tastes really good.”

Bucky didn’t know why having Steve liking the tortilla so much made him so happy but it did.

“Yeah, Clint actually recommended it to me.  I don’t really like Mexican but I swear I can’t get enough of it now.”  He looked at the still massive amount of food on their table and shrugged.  “When I’m bored I sometimes get those stupid bored hunger pains.  One day I didn’t feel like eating anywhere around here so I decided to trust Clint.  Let me tell you the place smells freaking fantastic.  The atmosphere was so homey and inviting that I didn’t really mind that I was sitting alone in a room full of family and friends.”

“You know, I could have gone with you if you asked, right?”

Bucky shook his head.  “You were in class at the time and plus I wouldn’t want to bother you with my fake hunger pains.”

He jumped as Steve pinched him hard on the arm.

“OW! What was that for?!”

Steve rolled his eyes before grabbing a piece of the tortilla and tearing it off.  He spooned up a handful of the food mixture and held it out. 

“Eat and I’ll explain while you chew.”

Bucky squinted at him in suspicion but did what he was told. 

He didn’t feel as silly this time when he took everything in his mouth.  He felt a little stupid, but in a giddy way, when he licked around Steve’s fingers. 

If Steve felt anything he wasn’t showing it.

“You know the whole brooding thing you do is only like twelve percent hot, right?”  He went on even though Bucky almost choked on what he had.  “The rest of the time it’s really annoying.”  He ripped another piece of tortilla from where it was still in Bucky’s hand then loaded it up again.  “Open.” 

Bucky didn’t know if he was supposed to be feel weird or not that he was not only being fed but also being scolded at the same time.

“If you want to go somewhere and you don’t want to go alone just text me or call me.  Even though I’m out a lot because of school and work I wouldn’t mind spending my free time with you, Buck.”

Bucky didn’t know what to think about that.  He knew Steve loved their midnight baking times, he’d said so a few times, but he didn’t think he’d want to hang out with him outside their apartment.  He should have thought of it sooner and, of course, Steve would want to hang out with him, that’s just the type of person Steve was, but it just never occurred to Bucky to ask.

He shrugged and told Steve exactly that.

Steve rolled his eyes as he feed Bucky another bite.  “I think you’ve been a loner for way too long, Bucky because I’ve kind of been waiting for you to ask me to do something with you since forever since for some reason you know my schedule a hell of a lot more than I know yours.”

Bucky paused chewing for a second and looked as Steve stared back with a forced nonchalant expression.  He knew it was forced because Steve was pink in the cheeks again.  He swallowed then shrugged. 

“I don’t know.”  He looked at his hands.  “I see you hanging out with your friends all the time I didn’t think you’d want to take away time from them.”

When Steve starting tutting at him he scowled and looked up through his eyelashes.

“Someone is an idiot,” Steve said in a sing song voice.  He had another bite ready and he brought it up.  Bucky didn’t need to hear the stern, “Eat,” before obliging.   He did stare sullenly at Steve as Steve wiped his hands on his pants.

“Thash a ‘asgustin’.”

“You chewing with your mouth is disgusting.  Besides I have to wash these tomorrow anyway so don’t get your panties in a twist.”  Steve smiled before taking Bucky’s hand in his.  “I don’t know what gave you the impression that I wouldn’t want to hang out with you, but let me tell you that even if you called me when I was with Natasha, Pepper, or Peggy I would’ve probably drop everything just so I could hang out with you.”  He laughed.  “They would never forgive me or ever let me live it down because of that but that’s just how it is.”

Bucky swallowed and stared at their hands.  He took a deep breath and screwed up all his courage and intertwined their hands together.  It was easier than he thought it would be.  With a red face and a fast beating heart he asked, “I like you, you know?”

Bucky felt Steve shrug more than actually seeing him.  “Yeah, I know.  I’ve just been waiting for you to say something.”

Bucky nodded before looking up at Steve who had the cutest crooked smile he had ever seen on a person.  He smiled back before asking, “So, does that mean we can fuck and all that jazz?”

Steve smiled even wider before saying, “Yes, you vulgar fucker, we can fuck and all that jazz.”  Steve looked down at Bucky’s lips before taking a fortifying breath and taking his hand away.  “But first you eat.”  He grabbed another tortilla and loaded it up before barking out, “Open.”

Bucky didn’t know what he was feeling but he knew he wasn’t going to say no to Steve anytime soon.

*

He was full.  He was completely and utterly full, but Steve kept feeding him and he kept on eating.  He’s stomach was starting to hurt from all the food.  His pants were feeling tighter and he was actually contemplating unbuttoning his pants.  He didn’t know what to do, but he didn’t want to stop. 

He was not expecting the big grin when his first huge burp happened.  Steve finally stopped and raised an eyebrow at Bucky as if asking Bucky something.

Bucky shrugged with his face a little warmer than it was a second ago.  “What? I’m kinda getting full here Steve.”

“Really now,” in the most sarcastic display he had ever seen Steve raised his other eyebrow and lowered the other one before waving an arm to the empty boxes they had so far, “I wouldn’t have guessed that.  Especially since you’ve eaten two boxes of red chile meat, rice, and beans with give or take 10 tortillas and not only that you ate most of the green chile cheese crisp thing and you ate the fried ice cream.” He smirked.  “That’s not much at all Buck.”

Bucky attempted to glare at him, but at that exact moment he burped again. 

Steve just grinned bigger before taking his hand.  “C’mon let’s sit on the couch.” 

Bucky got up too fast and he had to sit down.  His stomach was rolling around with all the food he just ate and we wasn’t sure if he could walk all the way to their couch. “Do we have to?”

Steve got a gleam in his eye as Bucky started to knead his stomach with his free hand. 

“Trust me it’ll be worth it.”

Bucky groaned, but got up anyway.  The walk to the couch wasn’t treacherous but it wasn’t pleasant either.  He plopped down hard on the couch and burped probably the loudest and longest he’d ever burped.  He knew he was blushing with embarrassment when he looked away and said, “Sorry.”

 Bucky jumped when he suddenly had a lap full of Steve.   He felt a whole other kind of heat sweep through him as he turned to see Steve licking his lips before he roughly said, “Don’t be sorry, Buck.”  Before he knew what was going on Steve’s hands were on his stomach kneading his too full belly.  Bucky groaned as the pressure in his stomach built up again at Steve’s machinations until he burped again.  

“Good?”

He sighed as his stomach felt less full.  “Yeah.”

Steve kept massaging his belly and Bucky just closed his eyes and let him.  It felt so good having Steve’s long artistic hands kneading his too full stomach.  Even when he stuck his cold ass hands, after asking for permission, down his shirt it felt so good. 

He kept burping and Steve kept kneading.  Bucky jumped and opened his eyes when Steve’s hand actually went under his love handle, which had grown since the last time he had touched it, and full on squeezed there. 

He didn’t know why, but having Steve look so hungry on just feeling his love handle was causing things down south to react even more than they were already. 

Steve looked up with a deeper blush than before and asked, “This is okay right?”

Bucky could only nod as Steve squeezed his love handle again.  “Yeah,” he cleared his throat, “that’s totally okay.”

Steve shyly smiled, Bucky didn’t even know he could be shy, before asking, “Can you take off your shirt?”

Steve already started to pull up his shirt but just him shyly asking him for his permission was quickly undoing Bucky.  “Hell yeah.”  He stopped Steve’s very enthusiastic hands and pulled them away before moving him up until their chests were touching.  “But first I get to take yours off.”

When Steve didn’t protest, just blushed harder as Bucky grabbed the end of Steve’s shirt and pulled.  It got caught on Steve’s bony elbows and he got stuck for a few moments making them both laugh and lightened up the mood a bit before Bucky got it off. 

Before this moment Bucky had always had a type.  He liked his girls skinny and tall with a nice set of breasts to play with and he liked his men buff and muscly like he used to be.  But now Bucky didn’t know what to do because his mouth was suddenly bone dry and he couldn’t breathe. 

Steve was skinny and it showed with how he could see his ribs and his chest was concaved like most skinny guys chest were like.  For some reason, though, this tiny, narrow chest was the most beautiful chest he had ever seen, and he had seen some amazing chests before.  Steve’s small pink nipples were already hard and all Bucky wanted to do was tease them with his teeth and tongue.  He moved forward deciding that just thinking of softly biting and teasing those perfect nipples wasn’t just enough he had to do it now, but he was stopped at Steve’s not as cold as it usually was hand.

“Wait.” Steve looked a little out of breath and his hands were shaking a tiny bit.  “First, shirt then you can do whatever.”

Bucky didn’t need to be told twice.  Before Steve could even try to take it off he took off his shirt in one clean swoop.  He wasted no time and went back to his original goal before he was interrupted.  Steve sucked in a breath and his hand went straight to his hair and pulled as he took one pretty little nipple in his mouth and sucked.   With his hands he grabbed onto Steve’s bony little ass and brought him up more where they were skin to skin and where Bucky could feel Steve’s excitement right up against his belly.

He slowly licked and sucked Steve’s nipple so good that Steve was already mumbling incoherent things.  Bucky wanted to see if Steve was sensitive on his neck and so using the trick he learned when he was sixteen and learned he could grow a full on beard he rubbed his chin right between where Steve’s neck and shoulders met. 

He wasn’t disappointed when Steve let out the sexiest moan he ever heard from a person.  It was breathy, soft, and so goddamn needy sounding. 

He needed to kiss him now or he felt like he was going to die.

He pulled back just a bit to see if Steve was okay.  By how his pupils were blown to hell and how he looked like he was thinking about nothin,g but how good Bucky was making him feel made Bucky even hotter and his ego grow.

“I’m going to kiss you, Steve Rogers.”

All Steve could do was nod as Bucky lowered his mouth unto his and kissed him.  It was the softest kissed he had ever given anyone but it soon turned heavy and wet as Steve took control and grabbed Bucky by his hair then moved Bucky’s head more to the left so he could deepen their kiss. 

Bucky took Steve’s fuller bottom lip and bit it with enough pressure where he knew it would be deep red after.  Steve laughed before retaliating and biting his bottom lip back.  Steve let go of his hair and soon was playing with his love handles. 

Bucky wasn’t against it, but he wasn’t used to someone actually loving his love handles.  So, when he giggled once Steve didn’t notice, but then he giggled again and Steve stopped with red cheeks, swollen lips, and blown pupils he stared at him with frustration and asked, “What are you giggling about?”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile.  “Sorry, I guess I’m just ticklish there.”

He knew he had said the wrong thing when all of a sudden there was a glint of pure evilness in Steve’s eyes instead of lust.  “Oh, really?”

“No I was-“ And once again Bucky was ambushed.  He could not breathe as Steve suddenly attacked all his ticklish spots.   He knew he could easily throw off Steve, but that wouldn’t be fair and plus it wasn’t that bad.  He put his hands on Steve’s bony ass again and pulled him up then he maneuvered them until he was on top of Steve with Steve’s hands above his head.

“Damnit, Steve, that was not funny.”

Steve bit his lip and laughed uncontrollably for a second.  “It totally was.  Who knew such a big scary guy like you could be so ticklish?”

Bucky mocked glared at him.  “So, you mock me, eh?  Let’s so what a big scary guy like me can do to fix that.”  And then he was tickling Steve making him laugh so hard he was crying.  Bucky couldn’t stop smiling as Steve futilely tried to get him off.  After a few minutes of tickling he stopped.  He realized both him and Steve were out of breath, which was pathetic since he used to run 10 miles a day with no problem, but he could feel his cheeks hurt as he copied back the same huge grin on Steve’s face.

“Want to watch a movie?”

Steve laughed before nodding.  “Can we watch Notting Hill?  It’s my favorite movie.”

Bucky pretended to think about it before shrugging.  “Okay, whatever you want.”   He let up and Steve wiggled his way out of the couch.   Bucky watched with a warm heart and smile as Steve went alphabetically down his movie collection before taking out the movie and going over and putting in it.  He lied down on his side waiting for Steve to get the movie started.  When Steve finally got it going he went back and laid with his back to Bucky.  Bucky saw his cheeks form a smile from his position behind Steve and he smiled back as he put his arm around Steve and pulled him closer. 

He knew his other arm was going to go numb soon from his awkward position on being on the pillow above Steve’s head and with it dangling off the couch, but having Steve wrap his arm around his before intertwining their fingers together was the best thing that had happened to him in a very long time.

 *

“Son of a bitch!”

Bucky paused at the front of Mrs Aguallo’s apartment wondering what was happening when Mrs. Aguallo herself opened up the door looking pissed.

She paused when she saw him though and played with her curled up white hair before smiling at him.

“Hello, mijo, how you doing?”

Bucky took in that she looked more disheveled than he had ever seen her.  Her clothes looked like the she had just rummage through her closet and put them on when usually they were ironed perfectly.  She even looked like she rushed through her makeup which was usually clean and to the point while still making it clear she was wearing makeup.  He looked up behind her for a second and saw a bunch of boxes behind her.

He wasn’t liking what he was seeing so far.  “I’m good, Mrs. Aguallo how are you?”

Her smiled shrunk for a moment before going back to normal.

“I’m doing okay.  I’m just having a hard time with all the stuff I need to pack.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, but she waved her hand as if to silence him.

“My poor Larry hasn’t been feeling well and this apartment, while it’s been home for us for 10 years, is too small for what he needs so we’ve decided that we’re moving in with my daughter.”  She smiled before chuckling.  “My daughter she would like you very much.  She takes after her momma and likes her men big and strong.”

Bucky never knew how to take her well-meaning compliments so he just nodded.  “If she’s anything like you I’d probably like her as well.”

Mrs. Aguallo smiled before frowning softly.

“I can help you pack if you need help.  I have nothing to do and Steve usually doesn’t have anything going on at this time so we can come back and help.”

She smiled once again before going up to him and hugging him.  “You are such a considerate man, James.  Thank you, but I have to go now and see how Larry is doing.”  He hugged her back tightly before letting her go.  “But thank you, James.”  She sighed heavily as she closed her door.  “And before I go, please if you can make some going away banana nut bread Larry would love that so.”

Bucky smiled and said as she locked her door. “It would be our pleasure.”

She smiled at him before heading towards the elevator.  “See you, James.”

He waved and watched her leave before going back to his apartment.

Steve waved at him as he entered but otherwise was engrossed in his school project.  Bucky had asked what he was supposed to be doing, but he had asked at the worst time since Steve told him so while he threw an empty plastic cup at his head.  Bucky decided to wait until Steve wasn’t freaking out to have him tell him what he was doing.

Steve said around a pencil, “I’m hungry.  Order something.”

Bucky paused as he put his bag up on their crooked, but still usable hat hook that was used mostly for scarves and bags than actual hats.  He didn’t know why he wanted to ask this but for some reason seeing Mrs. Aguallo getting packed up and knowing she was going to leave made his stomach tighten.

“Do you ever talk to your family?”

Steve actually stopped moving completely (when he’s doing an art project he’s usually going a million miles an hour with his brain thinking three times that fast on what he had to do next).  Bucky didn’t know why he asked.

They hadn’t talked about their families at all.  It was one of those topics that was never brought up and Bucky had always been fine with it, but now he needed to know why Steve never brought it up.

Steve took out the pencil he had in his mouth and put it down slowly.  He looked at his project for a second before puffing out a breath and got up.

“I haven’t eaten since yesterday and I’m not having this conversation like this.”

Bucky opened his mouth ready to scold Steve for his poor eating habits again, but Steve brought up a finger and shook it.

“Nope. Not right now.  First food then we’ll have this conversation.”  He grabbed his jacket before walking past Bucky to get his huge scarf on then he got his own bag.  He opened the door and just left Bucky standing there.

He walked back a second later with the biggest peeved look and asked, “Coming or not, Buck?”

Bucky didn’t need to be told twice and got his bag.  Steve smiled for a second before marching off as Bucky locked the door.

*

The walk to the restaurant was silent other than when Steve ordered Bucky to keep up.  Steve, despite his small frame and his weak disposition, walked entirely too fast for someone with so little leg.  Bucky had to elongate his stride just to keep up and Steve wasn’t even using big strides at all.

Steve always got more opinionated and bossy when he got hungry.  Bucky learned quick to never argue with a starving Steve Rogers or he would inadvertently start a fight where he always gained a new asshole from Steve's terse words.

Steve would later apologize, but Bucky new that Steve knew how bad he got and yet he still didn’t keep track of feeding himself.

For someone who loved feeding other people he sure did have a hard time feeding himself.

Once they had settle down at their table and Steve had gotten his drink (Pepsi only because he hadn’t eaten or he would have gotten water like he usually did) and had some bread in him his whole energy level had leveled out.  He looked approachable again and even tried to feed Bucky some bread, but Bucky wasn’t having any of it.

Steve seemed to realize that he should start talking and seemed a bit put out by it.

“First off, before I begin can I ask why the totally left field question?”

Bucky shrugged and took a sip of his tea.  “Mrs. Aguallo, 308B,” he corrected when Steve looked lost, “is moving.  She said that she’s moving in with her daughter and I don’t know.  I just wanted to know why you’ve never talked about your family.”

Steve nodded.  “She’s the one who we made banana nut bread for right?”  Bucky nodded.  “I’m sorry I knew how much you liked her.”

Bucky looked away at another table.  He didn’t feel like talking about Mrs. Aguallo leaving.  It bothered him way too much as it was. He didn’t need to talk about it.

“Thanks.  So, about my question.”  He looked back and saw the sourest face he had ever seen on Steve.  “Is your family that bad?”

Steve jumped and shook his head before saying, “No, they weren’t that bad.”  Bucky zeroed on the past tense usage and suddenly felt terrible for asking as Steve confirmed, “But they’re dead.”

Bucky opened his mouth to apologize but that’s when the waitress came back and asked if the needed more bread and drinks. 

They both shook their heads as she smiled and nodded and told them their meal would be out in just a moment.

Bucky opened his mouth to apologize again, but Steve talked first with him staring at his hands.  “You didn’t know and I didn’t tell you.”  He shrugged.  “I was kind of glad that you didn’t ask me about my family actually.  Usually that’s one of the first things people ask and the pity look they give me just rubs me the wrong way.”  He played with his spoon for a second before sighing.  “I visit my mom’s grave every first Sunday.  For some reason, she always visited Dad on the first of Sunday and I kinda just kept the tradition going.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say to that.  So, of course he would do a Clint at this moment and he blurted out, “My dad died too.”

He felt stupid after saying it.  Like it was a competition to see how many dead parents they had.

Steve, though, he looked up at him with genuine curiosity and asked, “What did yours in?”

Steve wasn’t the most eloquent when he hadn’t eaten for a while so Bucky didn’t mention how crude his phrasing was.  “Work accident.”  He shrugged then took the neglected bread piece from Steve’s plate and ate it.  “You know how there are workplace rules put in place because someone died?  Well, my dad had a rule made just for him.”

“Where did he work?”

“Coal mine.”  He moved back as the waitress brought their food.  When she left after asking if they needed anything else Bucky stole a fry from Steve’s plate, Steve whined at that, then he said after eating the fry, “My parents lived in Kentucky.  After the accident my mom brought us back here to live with my grandmother for a while.” He shrugged then took the bottle of ketchup from Steve and smothered his fries with it.  “My mom got a job here and that’s that.”  He looked up to see Steve staring at his fries in disgust.  He hated it when he smothered his fries with ketchup, but that was the only way for Bucky to make sure Steve didn’t steal all his fries.  “What about you?  What’s your story?”

Steve rolled his eyes before taking back the ketchup bottle as if preventing him from adding more ketchup.  “Born and raised here.  Dad died when I was five and after that it was just me and Ma until she got sick from a round of pneumonia that was going around in the hospital she was working at.”  He shrugged.  “I was twenty.”  He looked at Bucky with a tilted head and asked, “Do you still speak with your mom?”

Bucky paused as he put his bacon cheeseburger down.  He chewed slowly then swallowed before shaking his head.  “No.  Ever since I got back she’s called maybe once or twice but that’s all.”  At Steve’s scandalized look he held up his hands.  “Sorry, my mom and I just don’t have a close relationship.”  He looked down at his burger and said before taking a bite, “I should visit her though.  It would be nice to see her.”

He looked up in surprise as Steve touched his hand with his cold one and he had on a nervous expression that didn’t suit his usually smiling face as he asked, “Do you want to visit her on the next first Sunday?  I’m pretty sure Ma would like to meet you as well.”

Bucky couldn’t breathe for a second.  He could tell that this was a big fucking step and he didn’t know how he got into this situation, but as he looked at Steve he couldn’t deny that he was glad he was in such a situation.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Steve smiled before nodding.  “Yeah, it would.”  He leaned over and grabbed one of his fries and put it in front of his face.  “Fry?”

Bucky laughed as the fry was right in front of his face.  “Yeah.”  He didn’t even have to move his head to grab the fry with his tongue.  He smiled as color formed on Steve’s cheeks.   Messing with Steve was the easiest and most addicting thing to do.  Sometimes he would use more tongue than necessary to eat from Steve’s hand and Steve’s breath always hitched a bit when he did so.

Bucky, though, had to feed Steve sometimes because Steve would simply forget to feed himself when he got heated up.  He didn’t mind, though, because Steve did the same tricks he did and he couldn’t help but be mesmerized. 

One time when they were alone Steve had grabbed his finger that was topped with whip cream and simply swallowed his entire finger.  Learning that Steve had no gag reflex coupled with the fact that Steve had sucked his finger dry had gotten straight to his pants and if Clint hadn’t called reminding him that he had group he would have taken Steve right then and there.

As it was they were only doing little things since they were out in public and Steve was less brave when others were around.

After feeding all his fries to Steve and after he told Steve he could eat his burger by himself (I swear, I’m a big boy and everything), Bucky asked, “So, how did you meet Peggy, Nat, and Pepper?”

Steve hmm’d around his club sandwich.  “Wha-?”

Bucky smiled and shrugged.  “I don’t mean to insult you or anything, but how did you become friends with all of them?”

Steve narrowed his eyes.  “Because I’m a struggling student who lives in a crappy apartment and they are all successful women with careers?”

“Basically.”

Steve took another bite just to spite him, Bucky had learned quickly that Steve was as spiteful as he was forgiving, then wiped his hands slowly.  

Bucky didn’t mind.  He took another bite of his almost gone burger and waited.

Steve dramatically sighed before saying, “Well, with Natasha it’s easy.  I’ve known her for forever even though we didn’t start talking until the fourth grade.  One day I was walking to church for catechism when I noticed this group of guys kicking at something.  I went to investigate and saw they were kicking Natasha just because she refused to kiss the dumb leader.”  He looked embarrassed for a second before going on.  “So, me being me I decided to help, but as soon as I opened my mouth to distract them Natasha had already side kicked one guy down, had kicked another one in the balls, and had already broken the leader’s knee by kicking it in.  She had gotten up and ran right into me.  I tried helping her get her bearing since she looked scared out of her mind ,but she punched me in the eye almost breaking my eye socket before she apologized and carried me over her shoulder to her house.  She apologized so much and all I could do was stare at her in awe and ask her how she did all that.  Needless to say after finding out I found her cool she didn’t mind me trailing her around like a puppy after that.”

Steve looked at his sandwich then pointed his finger at Bucky.  “Tell me how you met Clint then I’ll tell you more.”

Bucky had just finished the last bite of his burger.  He shrugged before saying, “There’s nothing much to say about Clint.  I went to group thinking I wasn’t going to stay like the other times I had went, but then Clint comes in all bursting personality.”  He smiled as he remembered the look on the group leader’s face.  “You should have seen how much Diane, our group leader, hated him but she tries so hard even now not to show it but Clint pushes every one of her buttons and I don’t know.  I guess I was asshole enough to find it hilarious what he was doing instead of telling him off like I should have.”  He laughed.  “After group I went over and tried to speak to him but then he did his stupid thing where he points to his ear and acts like he can’t hear you while signing a mile a minute.  I felt stupid at first but then I noticed he still had his hearing aid on and I knew from a random article I read while I had an bad insomnia night that you can’t turn off the ear aid unless you take out the batteries.  There hadn’t been enough time for him to have taken them out so I called him out on it.  He just smiled real huge and laughed at me before asking if I wanted to go get some beers.  I said why not and he threw a hand over my shoulder and we went to the bar and the rest is history as he would say it.”  He chuckled as he remembered Clint telling him about his friendship tests.  “I don’t know what test I passed, but Clint hasn’t left me yet so I take that as a good sign.”

Steve raised an eyebrow.  “So, you don’t even what the friendship test is?”

Bucky shook his head with a smile.  “Nope.”

Steve cursed then slammed his hand lightly on the table.  “And I was hoping that you would know.”

Bucky shook his head again.  “Nope, even I don’t know what goes on in that funny little brain of his.”

Steve tapped his fingers steadily on the table staring at him for a moment before flipping his hair out of his eyes.  Bucky had noticed it had been getting too long and all he wanted to do was to cut it.  He didn’t want to say anything, though, just in case it was a sensitive subject with Steve.

“Peggy and Pepper where kind of a two and one deal.”  Bucky gave him a confused look and Steve rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, yeah I’m getting there.  So, know how I said my mom worked at a hospital?”

Bucky nodded.

“Well, once upon a time Peggy had a husband who was dying of congenital heart failure.”  Bucky’s eyes widen in surprise at that fact.  “Peggy was trying her best to get a heart or anything to help him live, but nothing was happening until my mom stuck her neck out for her and almost gotten herself fired when she contacted one Mr. Tony Stark.”

Bucky’s mouth could have fallen to the floor at his surprise.  “No way.”

Steve seemed shocked for some reason. “Oh, you know him? I usually have to explain who he is.”

“Of course I know who Tony Stark is.” He pointed to his arm, “He’s the one who came up with this procedure.  I wouldn’t have my arm without him.”

Steve looked mildly impressed at that as if Bucky gaining full control over his arm wasn’t a big deal. 

“I don’t quite remember what sort of ruckus my mom did, but it had gotten the attention of Stark’s new PA who came down personally to speak to Peggy.  I was doing a group project with the biggest idiots I had ever had the misfortune of working with so when my mom introduced Peggy to Pepper Peggy was all over Pepper asking her all these questions and trying to figure out what Pepper was even doing since Peggy had started with, “Sorry but-“ and oh holy hell seeing those ladies fight is terrifying because neither one of them backs down.  I just had the misfortune of having my phone vibrate for the millionth time that day so I said, tried to say underneath my breath, but because I can’t do that they heard me say please just shut up.  When they both turned to me with murder in their eyes I knew I was dead.”

Bucky was laughing so hard.  Steve didn’t know how to speak underneath his breath.  What he called whispering most people called talking.  Just the image of Peggy and Pepper turning their heads in unison with such fury then tearing apart Steve was just too much.  He could not NOT laugh at what he was imagining.

“D-did you mom help you at least?”

“No!” Steve through up his hands.  “She started one me too!  I was defenseless, man! Defenseless!”

Bucky could not breathe because of his laughter.  After he calmed down a bit he noticed Steve was smiling at him and he smiled back.

“So?”

“So, after like ten minutes of them chewing me out I actually got a word in edgewise and explained I was talking to my phone. It would have been okay, but when Peggy heard that she chewed me out for nothing she bursted into tears then left the room.”

Bucky and Steve both stopped smiling.  Steve was looking down at his plate playing with the salt that was left from his fries.  “I went after her and we started talking.   She told me everything.  She told me things she hadn’t even told her husband.”  He stopped then sighed.  “We talked the whole night after that.  Well, I mostly listened, but Peggy needed someone to talk to and vent and well I was there.”  He paused again before sighing more heavily.  “Pepper came back that day with Tony.”

“He actually came?  You actually met the Tony Stark?”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “Don’t sound so star struck.  He’s a moron like the rest of us only he has the brain of a supercomputer and the worst attitude ever.”  He paused then looked away as if he was remembering something.  “He has a huge heart though.  I told him, as a joke once, it must have been his transplanted heart that had made him a better person.”  He frowned.  “He told me it was.  He never did explain to me what that meant.”

He stared off into the distance for a moment before shaking his head.  “Anyways, Tony had come down and told them straight up that even with all the money and technology on his hands he could not help him, but he could form a charity under Peggy’s husband’s name that would help people like him and Peggy and he would pay for all their medical expenses and funeral costs.”

Bucky whistled at that.  He knew how fast you could get swamped in medical bills and he knew how grateful and awesome one felt once someone helped you out.   He could not afford to do much with his arm and they were going to cut off for the mere fact he would be better off without his dead arm and to just get a prosthetic.   But then someone came and told him that he could, if he wanted, go into this program free of any charges other than the travel fees that had potential of him getting full control over his arm back.   It was a Stark program and after realizing that not only would he not have to pay for his experimental procedure the program would help him talk to hospital into helping him get a payment plan started that he could actually afford to do.

Even now when he still hasn’t paid off all his medical bills he wasn’t being burden with debt collectors and he’s able to feel like he’s actually doing something instead of feeling like he was drowning.

“That’s amazing.”

“I know right?  You should have been to his funeral.  It was gorgeous.”

Bucky nodded not having anything to add about funerals.

“So, how did you guys stay friends?”

Steve shrugged.  “Mostly through my mom.  She always called and made sure Peggy was okay and was there when her husband died.  She kept Pepper on her toes making sure she and Tony would keep their promises to Peggy.” Steve paused and looked like he had something caught in his throat.  He coughed once, twice, three times before he could say anything.  “Pepper said that even though she would call for business she always kept check with how she was doing and if Tony was treating her right and if not she would go down and kick that rich boy’s ass.”

Bucky laughed but it died down when he saw a sheen to Steve’s eyes.  It looked like Steve couldn’t open his mouth again.  Bucky usually wasn’t good at soothing but this time before he could think about it he reached out and grabbed Steve’s hand and lightly squeezed.  Steve squeezed hard back.

After a moment Steve sniffed and looked away to wipe at his eyes.  “When Ma died they were there for me.  Pepper had made all the funeral arrangements because I just couldn’t do it and Peggy helped me figure out how to live again.”

Bucky didn’t care that they were sitting apart and that him getting up was going to bring attention to them. He moved their chairs until he was right next to Steve and hugged Steve to his side as Steve finally let out a sob.  He let Steve cry glaring at anyone who looked their way.  The waitress tried coming over but had the sense enough not to when Bucky shook his head at her.

It took Steve a while to calm down but once he did he didn’t move away from Bucky’s embrace.  He laid down his head on Bucky’s chest and had a death grip on Bucky’s shirt.

“I had to sell the house to pay for the funeral and the bills.  Tony said he would pay everything but I had my pride.”  He sniffed.  “You would have loved our house.  It wasn’t very big but it had enough room for me and Ma.  She always had her kitchens clean, everything was in place, and she always had food on table after her shift.”  He laughed.  “She always said I’d starve without her there.”  A wet laugh came out and Bucky held on tighter.  “Guess she was wrong on that, eh?”

Bucky saw the waitress and she held up the check and he nodded.  She hurried over and put down the check, but Bucky already maneuvered into his pocket and put down a fifty that he won off Clint.  She said nothing as she took it and left.

He kissed the top of Steve’s head.  “Let’s go.”

Steve sniffed then said, “But we have to wait for the bill.”

Bucky his head and said, “No, we don’t I gave her a fifty that should cover everything.”

One moment Steve was in his arms the next he was staring at him like he was crazy and pinching his arm hard.

“Ow!”

“The waitress was nice but she wasn’t that nice.  I know what we got was not fifty dollars, Buck.”

“I know but-“

“But nothing, you did not win that bet just so you could spend it all willy-nilly.  We need toilet paper and you’re paying since you didn’t do it last time.”

Bucky glared at Steve, he was a grown ass man he could do whatever he wanted with his money, and Steve glared back,but then suddenly laughter sprung out of Steve’s mouth.  He looked surprised as Bucky raised an eyebrow then his other before lowering the first eyebrow down.  He didn’t know why it made Steve finally laugh but Bucky was grateful it did.

*

“What is your problem?”

Bucky was comparing ingredients to two different chocolatse trying to figure out which was the best one. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t?  Then what is-“ Sam took away one of the chocolates and Bucky tried grabbing it back to no avail, “-is this?”

Bucky glared then grabbed the bag back.  “I’m shopping that’s what it is.”

He didn’t know why he asked Sam to come shopping with him.  They had already gone on their regular run and Sam said he had things to do, but he would come with him anyways to pass the time.

He shouldn’t have asked.

“We have been all through this store and every time it comes to some baking ingredient you take forever to figure out which ingredient is the perfect one and I’m wondering why that is.”

Bucky ignored him for the chocolate one more time then decided the cheaper one wouldn’t be so bad.  “I’m just looking.  It’s no big deal.”

“It’s a big deal when you’ve been dating Steve for three weeks, yet you guys haven’t had sex and you look spooked.”

Bucky wasn’t any delicate flower and he could talk about sex with Sam like a fucking adult but right at that moment a woman with a toddler passed by and she gave Sam the most incredulous and annoyed look he had ever seen on anyone.

Bucky put his head in his hand to hide from the embarrassment he felt.

“God, can we not talk about that in public?”

Sam looked at the lady and shrugged.  “She has a kid.  She knows what sex is.  Besides, YOU invited me to come with you.  I think you’re trying to tell yourself something Buck.”  When Bucky didn’t look up Sam grabbed his elbows and pulled them up and down.  “Talk to me Bucky. Talk to me.”

Bucky snorted before moving away from Sam. 

Sam was smiling too but then he was back to his therapist self.  “So, what’s up?”

Bucky decided that as long as he wasn’t looking at Sam as he told him his stupid ugly feelings it’d be like he was talking to himself and he wouldn’t feel totally weird and a bit upset about it.  Sam was right that talking about his feelings helped him out, he had less nightmares when he talked about his problems, but it still didn’t make it any easier actually getting them out in the open.  He was trained to protect all his weaknesses and this one was of his biggest.  He hated that for him to get better he had to pick at his stupid brain to do so.

“You remember me talking about Mrs. Aguallo, right?”

“Yeah, did something happen to her?”

Bucky shook his head and appreciated the concern in Sam’s voice.  Sam had only met Mrs. Aguallo once, but she had been as nice or even more so to Sam as she was with Bucky.  Mrs. Aguallo later told him that he had the nicest friends and she shouldn’t be so surprised since he was a nice young man. 

She complimented him way too much.

“No.  Well, yes.”  He scoffed and took down some baking powder and soda before walking down the aisle slowly.  “Her husband Larry isn’t doing so well and I think they’re having financial troubles, I don’t know, but they have to move into their daughter’s house soon and, well,” he shrugged and finally looked at Sam, “She asked if I could make banana nut bread for her and I will but I know she also loves chocolate so I’ve been trying to figure what chocolate thing I can bake her.”

He looked away when Sam got the sad, sympathetic face he got when he understood things.

“I feel like there’s more to this than you wanting to make her another baked good, Buck.”

Bucky looked down and saw he had enough stuff to make a small army of chocolate goods.   He knew he didn’t have that much money.  He turned his cart around and headed down a random aisle to put things away.

“She’s leaving and I don’t like it.”

The random aisle was the baking aisle he had just been in and Bucky was glad he had something to do with his hands.

“Why?”

Bucky hated when Sam said things in a blasé tone just because he knew it would get him talking out of annoyance more than anything else.

“I don’t know.  She’s my friend and even though we don’t hang out regularly she still always greets me with a smile and a wave and she calls me mijo and she always asks about Steve even though he said she makes him feel weird with that look grandmothers get when they want to feed a kid they think is too skinny and-“  He sighed and had to put his shaky hands on the cart.  “I guess, I’m just going to really miss my friend because I hate saying goodbye.”

Pick, pick, pick.  He knew that in the end this would help him but he couldn’t help but hate the process.

Sam nodded before he took out his vibrating phone.  “It’s okay to be upset, Buck.   I bet she’ll still come around to make Steve uncomfortable because she seems the type to shove food at you.  And if you guys, I don’t know, exchanged numbers I think she’d call you and keep check on you, like I know you would.”  He held up his phone and Bucky hesitated for a second before grabbing it.  He looked at the screen and saw that it was a list of ingredients.  “Just because she’s leaving it doesn’t mean it’s the end, Bucky.  I have many long distant friendships and many friends I don’t see for months on end but I can talk to them and keep in touch through a phone call.  It’s hard sometimes, but if you guys are really friends it won’t be that rough.”

Bucky nodded as he read down the list.  He was completely listening to Sam, but sometimes he didn’t want to look at Sam when Sam’s advice quelled down his anxiety monsters.

“Thanks, Sam.”

“No problem.”

“So,” he held up the phone, “What’s this?”

Sam smiled as he took his phone back.  “It’s my mom’s ingredient list for her famous French Silk pie.”  He laughed as his phone started vibrating.  “She’s learning how to use the speaking option to text so her instructions on how to do it are going to come out in spurts.”  He looked down at the basket and seemed to take inventory on what they had.  “Okay, we got most of what you need but first,” he started to put things away. “Let’s put away the excess.”

Bucky smiled then started to help him when Sam called him lazy for not helping.  He may not like talking about his feelings to people but he’s glad that he has Sam to talk to.  He may hate that he feels like he’s picking apart his brain when he talks but it’s better than having it bottled up on and then doing something stupid because he couldn’t open his mouth to say what’s wrong.

Bucky was just plain old glad he had met Sam.  Sam’s persistence in getting him to go to group to open up more was more than Bucky could ask for. 

He was just glad he had kicked Sam’s chair so hard on the bus that Sam was ready to fight him before seeing something in Bucky that made him sit down and talk to him rather than kick his ass like he could have.

Sam was too good a friend to Bucky, he knew that, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Okay, let’s hurry and I’ll send you the full recipe later in one big text.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes as he got a suspicion why Sam had to leave so fast.  “You have to meet Riley somewhere don’t you?”

Even though Sam had Jedi mind powers to help his face stay calm and cool while talking to other people his face betrayed him with full emotion when it was about him.

“Yes, but if we hurry I’ll only be five minutes late and he’ll congratulate me on being on time for once.”

Bucky laughed at Sam’s guilty face.  “I don’t know how he likes you.  You’re always late and he’s always on time.”

“I know, right?”  Sam pushed Bucky away and started to sprint down to the cashiers with the cart.  “He’s too good for me, man. No hurry the hell up.  I got places to go and people to do.”

Bucky could only roll his eyes as he sprinted after him.

*

Sam was right though, Bucky could admit that much as he put the groceries away.  He and Steve hadn’t had sex at all these past three weeks and it was now starting to get to him.

He understood that it was nearing the end of the semester for Steve and that Steve had many projects he had to do.  He also understood that life sometimes liked cockblocking people.  So, when he had to help out Clint move his newly found dumpster dive couch into his apartment and when Steve had to leave to help Natasha it wasn’t like he didn’t understand that these things happened even though Steve and him were in the middle of something or about to begin something.  It still pissed him off,though ,because even though they started figuring the ins and outs of what they liked, Steve liked being feed but he did not want to be stuffed and even though Bucky loved it when Steve got all handsy with him if Steve got too rough or even too close to him in a certain light Bucky would be triggered. 

It was all so frustrating and he planned on doing something about it.

He pulled off his shirt getting ready to head into the shower when the door flew open.  Bucky looked to see a pissed off looking Steve staring him down.  He was going to ask what he’d down to have him give him such a look when Steve threw down his bag, slammed the door closed, and rushed at him.  Before Bucky could say anything Steve’s lips were on his hungrily kissing him like they hadn’t kissed just this morning. 

Bucky didn’t much care but then things started heating up when Steve pulled away and commanded in a low dangerous voice, “Fuck me.”

Bucky couldn’t say no to that.  He grabbed Steve behind his legs and pulled him up until they were both at height level so he could kiss Steve without bending over.  Steve wrapped his legs around him as Bucky adjusted him so he could feel Steve’s hard on against his stomach.

Steve wasn’t holding anything back.  He was kissing Bucky like he was a starving man and he a steak.  His hand were everywhere.  Firs,t they were in his hair twisting and pulling, and Bucky vaguely realized he’d have tangles later, but that went out the window when Steve scratched down his back with his blunt nails. 

He couldn’t handle it anymore.  He needed to fuck Steve now.  By muscle memory alone he got them into his bedroom.  He turned around then flopped down on the bed where Steve was on top of him.

Steve was heavier then he realized and he was out of breath when Steve’s weight knocked the air out of him, but he didn’t care.  He pulled Steve away from him and Steve’s whine was so needy the sound went straight to his cock.

He first took off Steve’s hipster glasses and put them on the night stand so they wouldn’t break.  He then with intense concentration pulled Steve’s shirt off in one clean motion.  He stared at his chest for one moment just trying to memorize this chest before he was back to kissing him. 

Steve was moaning so wantonly like this was the first time he’d ever done it (it wasn’t Bucky and him had a talk about firsts and Bucky definitely wasn’t Steve’s).  Bucky needed him to calm down or he wasn’t going to last long. He grabbed a fist full of Steve’s hair and pulled.

Steve absolutely purred.

“Slow down, Steve or I won’t make it.”

Steve laughed for a second before he moaned and clenched at Bucky’s shoulders as Bucky bit his neck. 

“Shut up and f-fuck me.”

Bucky hadn’t realized how much of a dirty talker Steve was until this second.  Sure he cursed when they made out but this was on a whole new level and he was so into it.

“I don’t think so, babe.”

Steve growled and bit his ear not hard enough to hurt but enough to get the message across.

Bucky laughed before grabbing Steve’s hands then flipping them where he was on top and Steve was glaring up at him.

“I said fuck me, James.”

For some reason, Steve using his real name was the hottest thing ever.

He smirked down at him before grabbing both Steve’s tiny wrists in one hand before saying, “I will, but first things first.”  He slowly dragged his fingers down Steve’s small torso before ending at the top of Steve’s pants. 

Steve breaths were now more labored and he looked absolutely wrecked.  Bucky couldn’t get enough.

“Tell me what you want Steve.”

Steve glared at him as he tried to bucking himself rub himself on Bucky.  Bucky got himself out of reach before he could, loving how tortured Steve looked.

“I told you already I want you to fuck me.”

Bucky tsked at him before slowly unbuttoning Steve’s pants not because he was trying to be smooth but because he was the worst at unbuttoning pants with one hand.

“You have to be more specific.”  Luckily on the first try he got the button to pop.  He unzipped the zipper then put his hand down Steve’s pants. 

Steve moaned so loud as Bucky stroked his cock firmly up and down through his little tighty whities.  Steve bucked up his hips making Bucky smirk at Steve’s neediness.

He leaned in real close and whispered in Steve’s ear, “What do you want me to do to you, Steve?  Do you want me to jack you off all nice and slow until it’s not enough?  Do you want me to suck you off until your about to burst but stop at just the right moment so you can last long enough where I can put my fingers in you?  Would you like it if I played with your lovely nipples as I finger fucked you into an almost orgasm before I put my enormous dick in you finally making you come?”  He took his hand away and smiled as Steve whined.  “Tell me what to do Steve.”

Steve bite his earlobe with just the right amount of pressure to make him shiver and his cock to twitch.

With a rough whisper Steve answered with, “Everything,” before he got one of his hands out of Bucky’s hold and he went straight into rubbing Bucky’s denim covered cock. 

Bucky hissed as he arched into the touch.

Steve’s got a handful of hair and pulled him down and whispered in his ear, “Stop talking, and just fuck me already.”

Bucky didn’t need to be told again.

They pulled away both getting out of their pants and underwear as fast as they could before coming back together in a searing kiss.  Steve’s hands where on Bucky’s love handles kneading them as if he couldn’t get enough of them.

Steve pushed him down where Bucky was on his back.  Steve was red all over, his lips red and puffy from their kisses, and he looked at Bucky like he was the masterpiece.

Steve’s hands dragged down his chest before stopping at his belly.  He lowered himself before placing kisses around the red line where Bucky’s too tight pants had dug into him.  He started massaging his belly with one hand then he started to jerk Bucky off with the other.

Bucky bucked into his hand wanting more.  The belly rub was getting to him more than it ever had before and Steve was the one that sounded like he was in heaven with all the little happy noises he was making.

Steve stopped kissing his belly and looked him in the eyes through his long eye lashes before lowering himself and taking Bucky all the way in.  Bucky grabbed onto Steve’s hair stopped himself from choking Steve but only just.

He knew he could take it, hell Steve told him he didn’t mind deep throating, but the thought off him going too far was a buzz kill in itself.

Steve, though, went right to work.  His tongued was doing things that made his toes curl and when he looked down and saw Steve’s hollowed cheeks around his cock Bucky knew he wasn’t going to last long if they kept things up like this.

He let Steve suck and lick him for a few more seconds before he pulled Steve back. 

Steve pouted at him and opened his mouth to no doubt whine at him but Bucky silenced him with a kiss. He could taste himself on Steve’s tongue but he didn’t care.  He needed to be inside Steve soon.

He pulled away and ordered Steve in his Sergeant voice, “In my dresser over there open up the third one and go all the way to the back and the lube and condoms should all be there.”

Steve didn’t hesitate, even though he did give him a questioning look for barely second.  As he got everything Bucky pulled himself up and played with himself as he watched Steve move.  When Steve turned around he smirked at the sight of Bucky jacking himself off.

“Eager, I see.”

“Shut up, Steve, and get over here.”

Steve didn’t argue and went straight back to Bucky’s lap.  “Want me on my knees, Sergeant Barnes?”

Bucky smirked before shaking his head.  “Lube now.”

Steve shook his head as well as his smirk grew bigger.  “Yes, sir.”   He put a good amount on Bucky’s fingers then asked, “What do I do now, sir?”

Bucky kissed him telling him to shut up before pulling back for just a second and said, “Open your legs like the slut you are and enjoy the ride.”

Steve opened his mouth to probably say a smart ass remark but Bucky caught him off with a kiss.  He played with Steve’s hole with one finger for a moment before adding another finger.  Steve clenched around him and pulled away to bite his shoulder.

“Okay?”

“Totally, good.”

Bucky bit softly into his neck then he rubbed it with his beard knowing how much Steve loved the feeling of his beard rubbing against his neck.  He didn’t disappoint Bucky when Steve gasped and clenched around his fingers. 

When he finally got a third and a fourth finger in Steve was practically sobbing.  His nails had scratched every corner of his back and he was going to have major bite marks on his shoulders but Bucky loved it all.  When Steve was this fucked out he had no walls.  He begged with no second thought.  He swore with no reservation and all these beautiful filthy bits came spewing out his mouth.

Bucky smiled into the crook of Steve shoulder before pulling out his fingers.

Steve suddenly had a breathy mantra of, “Fuck me, fuck me, please just fuck me,” going as Bucky put on the condom with a practiced hand then aligned himself up with Steve then slowly pushed his way in.

Oh, god it was bliss.  Total fucked out bliss.  Steve was warm around him clenching so tight and just wanting as he tried to push himself forward, but Bucky had his hands on his hips making sure they would go slow and steady.  He wanted to make sure Steve was all good and stretched before he fucked him hard and good.

Once he finally bottomed out he paused for just moment and savored this feeling of being completely inside of Steve.  Of holding him close in his arms as Steve bit his shoulder and scratched his back in impatience to get him to continue.

He smiled once more against his neck before pumping in slowly but steady so Steve could get used to him, but soon he couldn’t stop himself from going faster and harder feeling the warm, tight sensation in his abdomen increasing with every thrust and every filthy word Steve was incoherently spewing.

He wasn’t going to last much longer.  He grabbed onto Steve cocked and pumped as fast as his strokes and just a second before he came Steve tightened around him, bit his neck so hard Bucky was sure he punctured skin, and made the sexiest moan known to mankind sending Bucky over the edge with them.

Steve let all his weight fall onto Bucky and in turn Bucky let them fall back into the bed.  Steve was panting hard and was red all over.  When Bucky turned back after pulling out and taking off, tying up, then throwing away the condom, he saw the dopiest expression on Steve’s face as he buried his face into his pillow.  Steve was absolutely glowing even though he was sweating and dirty from where he had come on himself.  Bucky smiled before saying, “Be right back,” and left to get a wet towel. 

Once he got back Steve was fast asleep in his bed snoring like a freight train.

Bucky couldn’t stop the swell of his heart or the big smile that wouldn’t leave him.  He laid down and wiped down Steve, who was dead to the world, before throwing the towel some place in his room.  He laid there staring at Steve wondering how he had ever gotten so lucky.

He jumped and almost fell out of bed when Steve’s eye suddenly popped opened.

Steve laughed so hard as Bucky put his hand on his heart and tried to get his lungs to work again.  After laughing for a good minute Steve wiped his eyes then opened up his arms.

“Come one I like to cuddle and I’m always the big spoon.”  He gave Bucky the sincerest face he had ever seen on anyone talking about cuddling.  “Always.”

Bucky didn’t mind being the little spoon.  He shrugged and moved himself onto his side.  Before Steve could wrap himself around him he turned his head around and asked, “You’re not going to scare me again are you?”

Steve laughed before shaking his head.  “Nope. Now stop moving.”

Bucky laid back and waited as Steve put his arm around him.  One hand rested on his belly and the other lay awkwardly by his head.

Bucky intertwined their hands on his belly and simply ignored the other hand. 

 Steve’s dead arm was Steve’s problem right now not his.

*

Bucky grabbed the banana bread and his attempt at Mrs. Wilson’s French Silk pie then stopped as he stared at the door trying to gather some courage to open it.

“No matter how many time you tell yourself you are a Jedi Master Bucky you really can’t use the Force.”

He snorted then turned to Steve.  “Ha-ha, come on we have places to go.” 

It had been two days since they started their incredible sexcapade and Bucky was happy.  Not only did they have even more sex the next day but it was a Saturday and Saturdays were half work days for Steve. Bucky had convinced Steve he needed some well-deserved break time from school work.  They hadn’t left the apartment at all yesterday and it was the greatest.

Today was the first Sunday of the month and like they had promised Bucky was going to visit Mrs. Rogers and Steve was going to meet his mom.  It was also Mrs. Aguallo’s going away party and nothing said, “Please stay in touch,” like French Silk.  Or that’s what Bucky was hoping for anyway.

“You okay?  You seem a little skittish.”

Bucky shook his head as he waved the hand with the banana bread in front of him.  “No, I’m fine.  Can you open the door though?”

Steve smiled at him before giving him a peck on the cheek.  “Thought you’d never ask, Lucy.”

Bucky laughed at that.  A few nights ago they had binged watched I Love Lucy and had decided under sleep deprived delirium that he was Lucy and Steve was Ricky.  Bucky couldn’t remember their logic behind it but they kept using them anyways.

“Yeah, yeah Ricky get a move on.”

Steve gallantly opened the door and then with a flourishing motion with his arm he let Bucky go first.  All Bucky could do was roll his eyes as he walked to Mrs. Aguallo’s.

He could hear music coming from her apartment and he was hoping that there was a lot of people.  Mrs. Aguallo was too nice not to have people come to her go away party.

He motioned with his head for Steve to knock.  Steve did and they waited in awkwardly for someone to open the door. 

Thank God it was Mrs. Aguallo because if it was anyone else Bucky would have had to gone in and socialize for a bit before Steve and him could leave.  He wanted this day done and over with as fast as possible.

“Mijo!”  She grabbed him and pulled him into a big bear hug and even lifted him off of his feet.  That was the first time she’d ever done that and he was more than a little surprised that she could.  “Mijo, I thought you were never coming!  Come in, come in!  My Larry is finally home and I want to show him the man who’s been helping me!”

Bucky looked uncomfortably at Steve but Steve seemed curious. 

“Hi, Mrs. Aguallo.”

“Steve!” She let go of Bucky and gave Steve the biggest hug.  Steve looked uncomfortable the entire time, but hugged back anyways.

“Come in boys.”

Bucky didn’t want to be rude and not go in but he didn’t want to go in either so he turned to Steve and hoped he would be rude for him.

Steve was useless as she dragged him into her apartment.

Bucky shook his head and followed.  Figured Steve could stand up to men twice his size, but he couldn’t stand up to a five foot, sixty-five year old lady. 

Most of the people on their floor were there even surprisingly enough Rick, who actually looked like he showered and washed his clothes.   Bucky still didn’t like him and ignored the wave him gave him.

Mrs. Aguallo pulled Steve to an older man in a wheel chair.  He had thinning white hair, skin the color of red rock he’d seen in Colorado once, and he had an oxygen tank right next to him.  What really stood out to Bucky was how animated he was.  He was talking and laughing so loud that Bucky was surprised Steve and him hadn’t heard it outside.   If Mrs. Aguallo letting go of Steve’s hand and laying an easy hand on his shoulder which the man took in his hand and kissed didn’t clue him in that this was Larry than noticing how big he was, tall-wise and width-wise, was pretty much the dead giveaway.

“Larry these are the boys are I was talking to you about earlier.”

Larry stopped staring at her with hearts in his eyes and stared at Steve and Bucky.  From the look in his eyes as he assessed them both.  Bucky had a feeling he had served in some branch of government at some point in his life by his assessing stare.

He pointed at Bucky and asked gruffly, “First, are you the guy that’s been helping my Yolanda for me while I was out killing bears with my bare hands?”

The little kids surrounding him all laughed at him, some behind their hands and others out loud in full force.

Bucky smiled and nodded.  “Yes, sir.”

Larry nodded his head then pointed to the bread.  “Second, is that banana nut bread because I’m going to start crying if it’s not because your guys’ banana bread is the best thing I have ever tasted.” He grabbed Mrs. Aguallo’s and said, “Sorry, Yolanda it’s the truth.”

She laughed with everyone else and hit him on the shoulder.  Bucky lightly laughed before giving it to Mrs. Aguallo.  “Yep, and for your wife a French Silk pie.” 

Mrs. Aguallo could not have looked any more touched if he could try.  “No, mijo. Keep this for you.”

He shook his head and forced her take it.  “No, it’s yours for always being my friend.”

She started to tear up but was interrupted by Larry who grabbed his bread and loudly said, “Yolanda, you heard the young man take it before he thinks better of it!”

She hit him lightly again but took the pie and headed to the kitchen.  Bucky went after her until he felt Steve’s hand on his arm.  “I thought we were going to give her the goods then leave?”

Bucky moved away from Steve’s grip and said, “I was, but now we’re just going to have to wing it.”

Steve grabbed his arm again and hissed, “I don’t know most of these people.”

Bucky shook his head and pried his arm away from Steve’s grip.  “Then meet them. I have to talk to Mrs. Aguallo.”  When Steve started following him he turned to him and said pointedly, “Alone.”

Steve gave him a put out expression before heading over to Sally, Mrs. Aguallo’s other neighbor.  

He watched Steve start up a conversation then went into the kitchen.  There was two other people in there besides Mrs. Aguallo, but they left the moment he entered.  He didn’t think too hard on why they left he was just glad they did.

“Hey, how you doing?”

She turned to him with a sad smile.  “Just a little sad about leaving.” She looked at his pie and asked, “Want some?”

He shook his head and watched her take a piece for herself.  He took a deep breath before screwing up his courage and saying, “Miss, I know this might sound weird but I was hoping if I could have your phone number.”  When she looked up at him in surprise he plunged forward despite how awkward he was feeling, “See, despite what you say about me being amazing I don’t make friends easily and you’re one of the few people that have made living here great and even though you’ll be leaving I want to keep in contact with you and to hopefully keep this friendship going?”

He felt even more awkward as she just started with this blank face at him with her pie tethering very close to falling on her floor.  He couldn’t handle the silence and quickly put the piece down before it fell.

That seemed to bring back out of whatever reverie she was having.  She shook her head then suddenly she was hugging him even tighter then when he opened the door earlier and he didn’t even know that was possible.  She didn’t let go for a good while, but when she did she had tears in her eyes and a wide smile on her face.  “That would just be lovely, mijo.”

He smiled and nodded and brought out his phone.  “You can add your number here and I’ll text you my number later okay?”

She nodded than laugh.  “I don’t know how to use these new phones anymore but my daughter will help me.”  She took his phone and slowly added in her number then gave it back to him with another hug. 

He hugged her back before pulling away and saying as apologetically as possibly, “I’m sorry, Miss, but I have to go.  Steve and I are meeting each other parents today and we don’t have that much time to stay.”

She waved her hand as she wiped a few more tears away before laughing at him.  “Of course, mijo. Go.  I’m just so glad you came even for a moment.”

He smiled, “Me too.”

They talked for a moment longer then she escorted him out the door.  When he was at the door he waved his hand to Steve who thankfully saw him.  He saw Steve say his goodbyes before he was by his side in no time.

She opened the door and gave Bucky and Steve one more hug before saying, “Good luck with the parents.  I doubt James will need it with him being so perfect and all.”

Bucky actually blushed when Steve snorted and said, “I wish.”

Mrs. Aguallo actually laughed with him before turning to him and saying, “Despite what you think, mijo, you are a good man and you’ll win them over.”  She brought up a finger and shook it at them.  “I’m telling you I never lie about these things.”

Bucky said thank you and she gave him a cheek kiss goodbye before she shut the door and they were finally alone.

Steve turned to him and in a horrible Spanish accent he said, “Well, my beautiful and perfect mijo it is time to sweep some dead people off their feet.”

Bucky swapped him on the arm and laughed as Steve grabbed his arm and led him to the exit.

*

“Why didn’t you bring a scarf like I told you?”

“What?” Steve pulled up the lapels of his jacket to try and keep the wind at bay.  “It didn’t look cold when we left.”

Bucky rolled his eyes before taking his scarf off and putting his on a cold, stupid Steve.  He knew his neck was full of hickeys and bites.  He could already feel people staring at his neck but he couldn’t care about that now.  He usually didn’t say anything about Steve’s health but it had started to become colder and colder and he just couldn’t help it.  He needed to know Steve was warm out in this sort of weather and not turning into a Popsicle.   “I told you the weather guy said it would get colder.”

Steve hid his face in his lapels and muttered out, “They’re liars.”

Bucky just shook his head and grabbed Steve’s thankfully covered hand.   “You’re going to put me in an early grave you know.”

Right as the words left his mouth the view of the cemetery came into view. 

“How appropriate then that we’re going to one.”

Bucky glared at him as Steve blew out a raspberry.  “It’s a joke, Buck.  Lighten up.”  He walked a bit faster then turned and grabbed Bucky’s other hand.  He said while walking backwards, “You may have charmed the heck out of that lovely woman but my mom is going to be a whole lot harder to impress.”

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that other than to nod.  He turned Steve around before he could trip down the curb and walked with their hands intertwined as they crossed over to the cemetery.

Bucky was actually impressed with it.  From the cemeteries he’d been to most of the head stones where forgotten and chipped with neglect.  But this place was pristine.  All the headstones were well kept and the grass around them was cut, free of weeds, and even free of the wreckage from the storm they had just this morning. 

“This place is nice.”

Steve lightly smiled as he walked easily down a path.  “Tony said it best, “Even though Sarah Rogers didn’t live in the lap of luxury in life she would at least in death.””  He smiled at Bucky before pointing at a headstone a little up a ways from where they were.  “There she is.”

When they got closer Bucky saw that the headstone he had seen when Steve had pointed it out was not the headstone he was looking for.  Sarah Rogers’ headstone was the one behind it.  It was a small but beautiful headstone.

Bucky read her headstone finding out that she had been born the same year as his father.

“I thought you said you paid for all of this?”

Steve paused in his signing of the cross and nodded.  “I did.  It was all Tony’s idea to keep her and everyone else’s grave clean and well kept.”

Bucky nodded.  “Good man that Stark is.”

Steve snorted before redoing the sign of the cross.  “He is, but don’t you ever tell him I said that.  He has a big enough head as it is.”

Bucky watched Steve bent down and touched the headstone.  “Hello, mom.  How you doing?”

Bucky didn’t know what to do so he did what he usually did when he was out of his depth and kept quiet. 

“I’m doing well.  I survived all my classes and I’m pretty sure I passed all of them.”  Steve paused as if he was he actually having a conversation with his mother.  “I’d like you to meet someone, mom.  He’s really important to me and even though he’s a big lug he’s really good to me and keeps me from starving like you used to.”  Steve looked up at him and Bucky took the hint and came over.  He went onto his haunches and awkwardly stayed there waiting for some other social cue.

Steve laughed then said, “This is Bucky Barnes, mom.”  He turned to him and waved a hand to the headstone, “And Bucky, this is mom.”

Bucky didn’t know what else to do but wave awkwardly.

Steve laughed again before going into how the last month was for him, and how he did on this class and that class.  Bucky felt weird but he stayed where he was at and let Steve’s words rush over him.  After what seemed like five minutes Steve stopped talking and just smiled at the headstone.

He stared at it for few moments longer before getting up.  Bucky followed suit but his legs had become numb doing Steve’s speech and he almost fell over and almost busted his head opened.   He glared at Steve laughing form but at least he wasn’t as solemn as he was before.

“Oh my God, that would happen to you right as you’re meeting my mom.”  Steve shook his head and wiped at his eyes before fixing his glasses.  “She would have laughed herself silly at you just now.”

Bucky felt himself warm up as he got up and awkwardly put his hands in his pockets.  “I’m going to count that as a good thing.”

Steve smiled widely back at him before taking his hand.  “Yeah, it is.”  He turned back to the headstone and leaned over to do another sign of the cross.  “See you later, mom.”

Bucky waved back not exactly knowing if that was the right thing to do or not but he felt like it was right.  That had to mean something, right?

They walked out of the cemetery together hand and hand.  Bucky wondered if they would ever do this for his dad then shook his head because if that ever happened they would have to be married or it wasn’t going to happen ever.

*

Bucky was silent on the train ride to his mom’s place.   Steve tried to talk to him, but Bucky wasn’t feeling it.  All he was feeling was the nervous butterflies in his stomach.

He hadn’t seen his mom since he had left for basic.  He had been a whole lot skinnier and a whole lot straighter when he left than he was right now.

 He never told his mother he was bisexual.  He didn’t even really realize it back then that he was and now the first person he had ever brought home to her was Steve.   She had never said anything bad about gay people but she had never actually said anything nice either.  He didn’t know how she would react and that was slowly killing him. 

He did not want there to be a fight when Steve was there.  He loved his mother but they butted heads like nothing else and when they got at it they really went at it.

He looked down at his stomach and frowned.  It had definitely grown since Steve and him had started dating.  Nothing too big in the three week period but he knew that he had to get new jeans soon because these ones were about to bust sometime soon.

His mother had always been a health nut and he knew she was going to say something about it.  One part of him wants Steve to just once shut his mouth and let his mom let her verbal garbage out, as he had named it, but he knew that wouldn’t happen. 

He just wanted this day to go smoothly as possible and for there not to be a homicide investigation at the end of it.

Finally when they had gotten off the train and were heading closer to Bucky’s old neighborhood Steve stopped suddenly and turned around to stand right in front of Bucky and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Bucky looked down at him and he desperately wanted to say something but nothing was coming out.  He bit his lip then shook his head.  “Nothing.” He tried walking past him, but Steve blocked him. 

“It’s not just nothing.  Tell me what’s wrong.”

Bucky closed his eyes and breathed through his nose.  “I’m just worried.”

“Worried about what?”

Bucky sighed then looked down at Steve who looked peeved yet concerned at the same time.  Bucky didn’t know how he pulled it off but it made him smile. 

He grabbed both Steve’s hands and looked at them.  “I haven’t seen my mom since I left for basic.”

Steve softly gasped, “So, it’s been-“

“Yeah, it’s been years since I’ve seen her.”  He looked up at Steve then pulled him into a hug.  “To be honest I don’t know what’s going to happen when we open that door.  I don’t know if she’ll greet us with open arms or a barrage of profanity.  I’m just nervous.”

Steve hugged him tightly before freezing then looking up at him.  “Wait.  You did tell her that we were coming, right?”

Bucky snorted before pulling away and dragging Steve.  “Nope.  It’s easier this way.  If she’s glad to see us she’ll be ecstatic and will trip over herself in happiness that we thought of surprising her.”  He shrugged trying to keep the mood light, but he couldn’t help the frown that crept on his face, “If she’s not, well, she’s not.”

Steve pinched him and called him an idiot.  “And don’t give me those hurt eyes.  You’re an idiot and I don’t know why I like you.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and turned the corner to his street.  “I don’t know why you like me either.”

“Good thing we share one thing in common.”

Bucky smiled as he waved to an old man he hadn’t seen since he was eighteen. He was pretty sure the guy didn’t recognize him because the wave he gave back was slow and unsure.

Bucky didn’t care.  If his mom was still the socialite that she was when he left the guy would know soon enough who he waved too.

Soon they were at his mom’s apartment.  Bucky sighed and screwed up his courage before he walked up the stairs to the door with Steve right next to him.  He didn’t hesitate to buzz her apartment because otherwise he wouldn’t have the courage to do so otherwise.  It took her longer than he expected to answer but there through the com, he heard her familiar voice say, “Hello?”

Bucky looked at Steve before saying, “Hey, mom. It’s James.”

He was met with silence.  He looked at the door for a moment before looking at Steve who put up his hands and shrugged. 

Bucky looked at the door and decided that he’d buzz once more, but if she didn’t answer they were leaving.  He pulled up his finger and was ready to buzz when the door was slammed opened and he only had a second to step back to support himself or he and his mom would have gone over the steps.

“Jesus, Mom!”  He balanced them back onto flat ground.  “Mom! We could have gone over! What were-“

He shut up when she let go of him and grabbed on to his face so tight and she squeezed until his mouth was too squished up to talk.

“Bucky?”

When he nodded he saw the tears coming and he felt 60% awkward, 30% guilty, and 10% embarrassed.  She brought him back into a huge hug.  He awkwardly hugged her back as he felt her tears soak through his shirt.

“Um, Mom?”

She finally let go of him and asked with a dazzlingly smile, “Yes?”

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck and stared at Steve.  Her eyes followed his and he watched her as he said, “You’re embarrassing me in front of my boyfriend.”

Her eyes widen and she put her hand over her mouth before whispering, “Boyfriend?” And just like that she fainted.

Bucky and Steve should have tried to at least catch her, but Bucky was expecting it and Steve seemed too shocked. 

“Did she just-?”

“Yeah, she did.”  Bucky bent down and made sure the door was still open as he picked up her light body.

He looked Steve in the eyes seriously but he still felt his lips quirk up just a tiny bit.  “If we’re going to make this a thing than you have to realize my mom is crazy and I get a lot of my personality from her.”

Steve looked at Bucky then at his mom and shook his head.  “No, no way.”

Bucky smiled before opening the door wider with his foot and catching it with his shoulder.  “Way.”  He stopped and turned towards Steve and asked, “Want to turn back before it’s too late?”

Steve stared at for a moment before bringing up his chin and marched past him holding the door for Bucky.

“Nope, I’m with you til the end of the line and that’s that.  Oh, and also, I didn’t come all this way for no baby pictures.  I’m just saying.”

Bucky could only smile as Steve smiled at him.  He didn’t know what was going to happen with them, hell he didn’t know what was going to happen in the next five minutes when his mom woke up but he felt as long as Steve was here by him he could do just about anything.