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Your hands are warm. Strange, and how they are as soft as ever.
The beautiful whisper from your lips as I watch you mouth the simple words, “I love you.”
Just like the first morning I awoke at your side, after realizing how hopelessly in love I was with you. Smitten. You had me at first glance, but I never knew what made you so special until the first time I saw you smile. You’re talented, and as gorgeous as ever. I couldn’t help myself.
I felt myself smile, as your fingers rest on my face. Your thumbs brushed along the curve of my chin, resting on my lips. Your eyes shimmered so brightly. You sighed softly. My eyes stung from the dirt, the tears that slipped down my cheek. It was tragic, how things had to end this way. At least I get to see you here, of all places. I can barely feel anything from the chest down. Just the gentle rhythm in my chest of my own heart beating, the way it tended to skip a beat. The way it always did when I was with you.
“It’s okay.” You said softly into my ear, as you moved to press a kiss to my forehead. Your voice was a song, I could listen to you talk forever if I could. Even when you had nothing to say, your gentle breathes always found ways to comfort me. Oh how I am hopelessly in love with you.
With your face only inches from mine, I wanted to memorize you. Your image. I want you burned into my mind, for moments like these. Your eyes, which were like the seasons. Warm, shimmering, cold, menacing. Even as they glistened on rainy days, I always had my ways of bringing back that nice glow of Spring. You always did say that I had a way with words.
That because I know you, and you know me. The two of us never felt our best, the people around us serving no purpose as a sanctuary. Lack of support. Except for the ones we cherished more dearly than each other. I remember now...her hands in mine whenever she picked me up off the ground. The look in her eyes, worry… I miss her… I feel so alone… But you, you’re here, I’m fine, even as I coughed violently, managing to sit up for a few short minutes before collapsing again. Your hands were right on my face once more, so warm, so gentle…
“Rest. You always push yourself too hard…” You told me. A furrowed brow. You scolded me, and I let out a small laugh.
“You’re...one to talk…” I managed to say with a raspy voice. I sound terrible. Here I think, knowing, whenever you spoke, your voice was so nice to listen too… How could you ever think the same? I must be unbearable…
“Shh...You know how I love you.” You reassured me, you must’ve noticed how I tensed. My shoulders rested against the ground again. Another breath from my lips, and I felt it wavered. You make the time pass, you always seem to.
As I lay here, I can’t help but look back on my life. How could I have made things different? How could I feel like less of a disappointment to those around me? To her? To you? She always knew me so well, yet she never spoke out against me when I told a lie. Even though she knew… How could she be proud of me? Care for me as she did? At the end of the day, she never left… She sacrificed so much…
My body shuddered, a shiver down my spine, and I winced. I never did like the pain, I’d grown used to it. I let it fuel me, carry me through, carry me forward. She never did like seeing me in pain, and as you stepped into my life, you disliked seeing me hurt too. I should have been more careful. I should’ve smiled as much as I could, I should have given you a better image to hold on to. Rather than gritted teeth, and nights spent bandaging my wounds.
But you knew as well as I that we were both born to fight. That why I fell so hard in the first place, you know? Your strength, admirable. Even as you stood face to face with myself for the first time, you never backed down. I feel a warmth in my chest at the thought of this, I’m so helplessly in love-
“You need to rest now. You’re tired...I can tell.” I wish I could feel your fingertips against my eyebrow, I can see your hand, ghosting above the curve. I let out a sharp gasp, and you draw your hand back. I grunt, my vision hazy. I want to see you, I want to see you clearly-
“Shh…” Your fingers on my lips again. Warmth. Warmth on my jaw, my neck, down my collar bone… I have faint scars there, you left them. Another night I could never forget. I manage a small smile, my eyes feel heavy. The light in your eyes held so many memories, so many firsts. So many things I never thought I’d know until I met you.
Even someone like yourself was so unsure…
I’m going to miss falling asleep in your arms.
I’m going to miss you. I really am. So much. Please don’t leave me.
I never did get to thank the gentle spirit of a woman who looked after you all these years, before I ever even knew your name. I wanted to thank her for taking care of you. For protecting you from the bitter pain this world bears you with. The weight. She carried that weight too, alongside you-
My vision, I can barely see a thing. These eyes never failed me once all my life. Yet here we are. I can barely smell you. That nice scent that eased me on my worst days. I wish I could brush that hair out of your face, as you look at me with the sweetest smile. Watch me.
I’m going to miss you so much. My breathing grows more ragged, I feel dazed. I can feel the sweat under my bangs. I feel cold.
It’s as if you’re humming me a sweet song, even as I’m losing my senses. All touch with reality.
You’re by my side. I’m going to miss this. My thoughts are stuck on repeat, over and over again.
Such fond memories. The people that brought light to my life.
You, your sister.
My ma.
“Ma…” You rest a finger on my lips, any ounce of energy I had left; gone.
“I’m…” You shake your head, please don’t cry.
“Sorry.” I have no strength, but I know, even under the moonlight. Only I could’ve wiped those tears away. Your sister appreciated that. She didn’t like me at first, but I grew onto her. I took care of you, she thanked me for that.
My mother, she always loved you, and treated you as her own. She loves you a lot, you know? Her and I spent nights at times talking about how we only wished you and your sister the best. We wanted to give that to you. A home, and open arms to fall into when you felt like you were going to collapse.
I always wanted to be there to catch you.
Yet I fall.
Cold.
I’m sorry.
I.
“Phel?” Alune looked to her brother, as he stopped mid swing with Severum in hand. He stopped, gasping sharply as stumbled backwards, tears welling up in his eyes.
“Aphelios!” Alune moved to his side, a look of pain on her face as she’d watched her fingers move through Aphelios’ cheek. She couldn’t wipe away those tears-
The Solari soldier in front of her brother noticed as Aphelios collapsed to his knees, wide eyed. His steady breathing now a pant.
The Solari male raised his sword.
“No!” Alune cried out, motioning her hands outward as moonlight burst forward from her brother. Aphelios grunted, but he was safe now. No one else was here on this night. Only him, and the many dead bodies scattered amongst the field of grass ahead of them.
Alune turned her gaze back to her brother. Her eyebrows knit together, she nearly panicked.
“Aphelios, what’s wrong?! Brother, please…” She gasped out. If she had a heart to feel in her chest, it’d be beating heavily by now.
Words she hoped she’d never hear slipped from his lips. Just before he covered his mouth, in absolute horror. So many tears...He choked out so many sobs, Alune was surprised she could hear the words from him in the first place. He’s in so much pain, so numb, she can feel this now from her tomb.
“He’s cold.”
Alune gasped, her form now frozen in place. Not even the moon held comfort in these times. The moon had seen this. The moon knew- Why-
Her brother was in so much pain.
Why must he bear so much pain, he’s grown unbearably numb.
The one person in his life who could return the warmth and loving touches he deserved.
Torn from his arms.
Why was the world so cruel to her brother.
She watched now as her dear brother wrapped his arms around his frame. One name on his tongue, a soft cry, pleading.
Even with how uncommon the man in question would grace the plains of Mt. Targon with his warmth, that rivaled the sun.
This world felt frigid once more.
Absent of light.
Alune barely caught notice of the fading feeling of an embrace around her frame. At times under the moonlight, she often felt what her brother was feeling.
She knew what this was. So much sadness in her heart at knowledge of this.
Such unbearable pain of losing the ones you admire most.
He was never coming back, and that’s worse than any wound alone.
Sett was never coming back.
Aphelios knew.
The Lunari could only wished he knew why his loved one was stolen from him.
How he'd grown so cold himself now that his warmth was gone.