Chapter Text
“Sorry I’m late,” Taehyung says as he opens the front door to his mother’s house. “There was really bad traffic.”
He slips off his shoes and goes to the dining room, where his sister and mother have already started eating. He kisses his mother’s cheek, and then takes the last empty seat.
“I don’t know what to do with you, Taehyungie,” his mother scolds, even as she piles rice into his bowl.
“Eomma, there was traffic,” he says, pouting.
“Just eat,” she says, nudging the plate closer to him.
He does as she says, digging in. The thing he misses most about living at home is his mother’s cooking, so he tries to enjoy it whenever he can.
“How’s wedding planning going?” he asks Taehee, mouth full of food.
She wrinkles her nose at him and pointedly finishes her mouthful before answering. “It’s going. Minho’s still hasn’t given me the final guest count for his side, which is annoying, since the wedding planner is up my ass about it.”
“Sucks.”
“Yeah. And his mom keeps insisting on roses for the centerpieces, but that’s so boring, you know? The one with peonies looks so much nicer, and it’s only a tiny bit more expensive. Like, it’s my wedding, not hers.”
“It’s just a small detail, Tahee-ah,” his mother chimes in. “It’s best to get along with your in-laws.”
“But if I give in on this, then she’ll expect me to give in on other stuff. It’s the principle of the matter.”
“It’s her wedding, Eomma. Noona should be allowed to do what she wants,” Taehyung says, earning a grateful smile from Taehee.
“We both know your sister is going to do what she wants in the end,” his mother says. “I’m just giving her some advice she might appreciate.”
Taehee gives her a tight smile. “And you know I always appreciate your advice. Anyway, Tae, you have your suit fitting at the end of the month, don’t forget.”
“I won’t,” he promises.
“And try and get some meat on your bones before then,” his mother says, taking beef off the platter and putting it onto his plate. “You’re too skinny. I don’t think you’re not eating enough. I’ll pack up some food for you to bring home.”
“Eomma, I eat fine. You know that Seokjin keeps me and Jungkook fed.”
“Seokjin hyung,” his mother corrects.
Taehyung resists the urge to roll his eyes. “He’s the last person to care about honorifics.”
“Well, I do.”
“Fine, Seokjin hyung cooks for us a lot, you don’t have to worry.”
His mother purses her lips. “Well, it’s good that Jungkookie has such a good friend.”
“Boyfriend.”
“What was that, dear?”
“Seokjin is Jungkook’s boyfriend,” Taehyung says, ignoring Taehee when she kicks his shin.
“Yes. Well, whatever he is, at least he can cook,” his mother concedes. He thinks she’ll leave it there, but she adds, “Oh, I do feel bad for Jungkook’s mother.”
“Why would you feel bad for her?”
“You know what I mean, Taehyung. Things might be different here, but Jungkook is still Korean, and our community just doesn’t accept those kind of things. How do you think his family feels, when he brings a man around when he visits? And the way people talk, it takes a toll on his mother.”
“I think Jungkook could do a lot worse than finding someone who loves him as much as Seokjin does,” Taehyung says, fighting to keep his voice even.
“You’ll understand when you’re older,” she says. “It’s not quite so simple as all that.”
“Did I tell you I’ve narrowed it down to three dresses,” Taehee interjects.
His mother’s attention immediately goes to her. “Oh, that’s wonderful. You’ll have to show me pictures after we finish eating.”
As Taehee goes on to describe the potential wedding dresses, Taehyung puts his chopsticks down, not quite as hungry as he was before.
The rest of the meal passes uneventfully, Taehee keeping his mother engaged with talk about the wedding. When they’re finished eating, Taehyung’s mother enlists his help in cleaning up as Taehee steps outside to take a call from her fiance. He dries the dishes as she washes them, listening to her as she updates him on all the neighbourhood aunties and uncles. His mind is still on their conversation from before, so it’s a relief when she sends him outside with the garbage.
He finds Taehee in the backyard by the garbage bins with a guilty face and a cigarette at her lips.
“I can explain,” she says.
“I don’t care, as long as you’re sharing.”
“Smoking is bad for you, you know,” she says, as she takes a pack out of her sweater pocket and holds it out to him.
He takes one, and then takes the lighter she offers, going through the familiar motion of lighting it. It’s been months since he last had a cigarette, and the first drag is unbearably good. He blows out slowly, watching as the smoke dissipates. “I know, I quit.”
“Me too,” she says, her lips quirked in a smile.
“Wedding planning got you stressed?” he asks.
“God, you don’t even know. It’s hell, trying to balance what everyone wants.”
“Who cares what they want? It’s your wedding, do what you want.”
“It’s not that easy," she says, taking a drag. “Minho’s family is really traditional, and there are a million tiny things they say are absolutely necessary, and Minho just goes along with it, so I look like a bitch if I try to put my foot down.”
“Just go full on bridezilla,” Taehyung suggests.
“I hate to admit it, but Eomma’s right. I need a good relationship with my in-laws if they’re gonna be in my life. So I can’t just tell them to fuck off, even if I really want to.”
They stand in comfortable silence, both of them savouring their cigarettes, shoulders hunched against the late October chill. It finishes too quickly, and they both know that they aren’t going to have another. Taehyung had picked the habit up as a dumb teenager, and he’d dropped it last year. The last time he’d had a cigarette was right when he’d gotten super drunk on New Year’s Eve and bummed one off someone at the club they’d been in.
“D’you remember Mrs. Green?” Taehee asks suddenly, grinding the butt of her finished cigarette under her foot. “The history teacher from RHS?”
“Yeah, how could I forget? She called me Taylor because she said my name was too hard to pronounce.”
Taehee rolls her eyes in commiseration. “Yeah, well turns out she was fired.”
“Really? For what?”
Taehee sticks up her thumb, bringing it to her lips, miming a bottle. .
“No way!”
“Yeah,” Taehee says gleefully. “Tina’s cousin goes there, she’s a sophomore I think, and apparently it’s all over the school. Caught drinking on the job.”
“Oh my god, remember that thermos she had? She’d drink from it during class.”
“Now we know why she could only say the white kids’ names.”
Taehyung laughs. “You’re terrible.”
“God, that feels like so long ago.”
“It was. Six years for me, eight for you.”
“Fuck we’re old.”
“Who would have thought when you were sneaking around with all those white boys that you’d end up marrying a good Korean boy,” Taehyung teases.
Taehee shoves him. “Shut up.”
“Eomma was so happy when you brought him home, she was prouder than when you graduated.”
“I guess her thinly veiled comments about wanting a Korean son-in-law actually stuck,” Taehee says.
“I was counting on you to bring home a white guy to ease her into the idea of me, you know…”
“Oh, Tae,” Taehee says, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You know Eomma didn’t really mean that, about Jungkook.”
“Maybe,” he says.
“I’m sure if she knew, she wouldn’t say stuff like that.”
“But she’d think it.”
“She’s old fashioned, yeah, but it’s because she grew up in the homeland. You can’t blame her for that. She loves you though, that wouldn’t change.”
He knows she means well, but it grates on him, the way she says it like it’s so easy. She doesn’t get it, she never can, especially not when she’s marrying a nice Korean boy with a good job. She gets to be happy while fulfilling their mother’s every dream, while the truth about him would break her heart.
“Come on,” he says, shrugging off her arm. “Eomma’s probably wondering where we are. She’ll think the raccoons got us or something.”
As they head back in, he tries to ignore the pity on his sister’s face.
The coffee shop they usually meet at is central to everyone in their friend group. It’s not too far from everyone’s home/work, and it’s close enough to campus that he and Jungkook can walk there if the weather’s decent, but just far enough off campus that it isn’t over run by desperate college kids.
“I’ve left that life behind,” Seokjin says sagely, sipping his coffee.
“Thanks babe,” Jungkook says dryly.
“Not you,” Seokjin says, shooting him a winning smile. “But the rest of it. The drama about hookups and parties and catfights. I’m too mature for that now.”
“You’re more invested in the love triangle in my econ study group than the parties involved,” Taehyung points out.
“Also, we only come here because Hoseok gives us free coffee,” Yoongi says.
“Wow, I feel so attacked right now,” Seokjin says, pressing a hand to his chest. “There’s so much negative energy here, I need to find new friends who respect me. Jungkook, defend me.”
“Hey guys, stop it,” Jungkook says halfheartedly.
“Rude,” Seokjin says, as Yoongi and Taehyung laugh. “Where’s Namjoon, my fellow Kim, to defend my honour?”
“He said he got caught up after class,” Yoongi says. “And he said that he’s bringing quote a new friend unquote.”
“You don’t have to say it, you can just make the air quotes with your hands,” Taehyung says, demonstrating, curling his first two fingers a few times to hammer the point home.
“Who do you think this ”friend” is?” Yoongi asks, aggressively making air quotes.
“Are you scared he’s a sex friend?” Jungkook asks. “What, Namjoon isn’t allowed to have another sex friend, other than you?”
“We’re not sex friends!” Yoongi says, a little too loudly considering the way a few people turn to look at the corner they’ve taken over. “We’re friends who have sex. It’s a thing.”
“It’s a thing that’s going to end badly,” Seokjin mutters.
“What was that?”
“I said, if you ask he’ll tell you gladly.”
“Hm.”
“Why do you think he has a sex friend?” Taehyung asks.It’s best to cut off this argument before it starts. Seokjin and Yoongi have had it enough times that he knows it’ll end with hurt feelings.
“Apparently the guy’s a dancer. You know how dancers are.”
“How are dancers?” Jungkook asks pointedly.
“Slutty,” Yoongi says, unrepentant.
“Yeah they are,” Seokjin says, reaching over for a high five, that Yoongi fortunately denies him.
“Is this grounds to break up with him?” Jungkook asks.
“Yes please,” Taehyung says. “Maybe then I won’t have a third roommate who was never part of our agreement.”
“And go back to living off takeout and ramen?” Seokjin scoffs. “Please. I’m the reason you two haven’t died of scurvy.”
“Dying of scurvy sounds better than having to listen to Seokjin hyung’s weird sex noises,” Taehyung says.
“I don’t made weird sex noises,” Seokjin says, affronted, reaching pinch Taehyung. “Take it back.”
Taehyung is too busy laughing and trying to avoid Seokjin’s vindictive fingers to notice the two people approaching their table.
“God you guys are embarrassing,” Namjoon says fondly.
“Tae disrespected me, I needed to exact revenge,” Seokjin huffs, finally relenting.
Taehyung turns to defend himself but then he sees the person standing beside Namjoon. It’s been five years since Taehyung last saw him, but he’d recognize him in a heartbeat. There was a time when he knew that face better than his own.
“I was going to introduce you guys to my friend but now he’s going to think you’re weirdos. Which isn’t wrong,” Namjoon says. “Anyway, this is-”
“Jimin,” Taehyung says. He doesn’t want to think what his face is doing, whether or not it shows that his heart is breaking all over again.
“Hey Tae,” Jimin says, weakly. “Long time no see.”
“You guys know each other?” Namjoon asks.
Jimin opens his mouth to answer, and Taehyung really doesn’t want to know what he’s going to say, so he cuts him off. “We knew each other in high school.”
“Wow, really?” Namjoon asks. “That’s amazing! What a small world.”
Namjoon introduces the others, and Taehyung carefully stares at a spot on the table. He doesn’t think he can look at Jimin, catalogue the ways he’s changed, the ways he’s stayed the same. He studiously avoids Jungkook’s questioning look. His roommate is the only one who knows about Taehyung’s ex-best friend turned ex-boyfriend, and he’s smart enough to put two and two together.
“How’s your mom?” Jimin asks, the question clearly directed at Taehyung.
“Good,” Taehyung says. “Your parents?”
“Good. Really good. They keep hounding me to come home, you know how it is.”
Taehyung makes the mistake of looking at Jimin. He looks so different from the boy he knew, chubby cheeks gone, dark hair dyed blonde. But he can still read the uncomfortable set of his shoulders, the nervousness in the corner of his mouth, the eagerness in his fidgeting hands. Taehyung is hit with a pang of emotion too tangled and complicated to decipher in a coffee shop in front of all his friends.
“Yeah,” Taehyung manages.
“Shit,” Jungkook says suddenly. “I just forgot, I have a paper due at four.”
“What?” Seokjin asks. “And you just remembered?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “Sorry guys, I’ve gotta go. Tae, would you mind driving me home?”
“Uh, sure?”
“Awesome! Let’s go, I gotta finish that assignment! Bye guys!” He stands and drags Taehyung out of the door before anyone can say anything.
“Uh, what class is your paper for?” Taehyung asks as he gets in the car. “Because I thought you finished-”
“Was that him?”
“What?”
“The guy! The guy. Your ex that fucked you over. The one you cried about that time we got drunk off Baileys when I was in freshman year.”
“Oh, you remember that?”
“Of course I remember that,” Jungkook says, slapping Taehyung’s arm. “That was a bonding moment. And when I decided I would be your new best friend.”
“I thought that was the time when I spent an entire semester helping you woo Seokjin?”
“Stop trying to change the subject!” Jungkook says, hitting him again. “It was him, wasn’t it?”
“Ow! Stop hitting me! And don’t you have a paper you desperately have to write?”
“No, that was a lie I made up so I could get you out of there. You highkey looked like you wanted to die. Because he was the guy.”
“Stop saying it like that! I’m over it, I’ve been over it. There is no reason for him to be “the” anything, not anymore. He’s just a guy, he doesn’t matter.” Even as he says it, Taehyung knows he’s lying.
Rightly, Jungkook doesn’t look convinced. “If you say so. I know running into your ex is always awkward, but that seemed like more than that. You never got closure, and he obviously hurt you, Tae.”
“Can we not talk about this?” Taehyung asks desperately. “Also I’m pretty sure they can see us sitting in the car from the coffee shop, so we look real sus right now.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, but sits back in his seat and pulls on his seatbelt. “Bring us home so I can ply you with alcohol and learn your secrets.”
Taehyung considers his options: spilling his stupid emotions and probably drunk crying again, or going back into the coffee shop and facing Jimin.
Yeah, no contest.
He starts the car.
The less said about getting sloppy drunk and crying to Jungkook about the tragedy of his first love, the better. It ends with Jungkook cuddling Taehyung and promising to never leave him. Of course, that’s around the time when Seokjin came home to find his boyfriend cuddling his crying best friend in their bed. Since it’s Seokjin, he promptly joined the cuddle pile.
The next morning, Taehyung wakes up slightly nauseous and surprisingly settled. Sure, he has a bitch of a headache, alcohol compounded with the crying for dehydration of epic proportions, but he’s found a solution to his Jimin shaped problem. And that is ignoring it for as long as possible.
Seokjin and Jungkook fall suspiciously silent when he manages to drag himself out of their bed and into the kitchen. Taehyung looks at them with narrowed eyes as he gets himself a glass of water.
“You told him.”
“He didn’t,” Seokjin says, the same time that Jungkook says, “I’m sorry!”
Seokjin rounds on Jungkook. “You’re pathetic.” He turns back to Taehyung. “I had a right to know, considering I walked in on my boyfriend in bed with another man.”
“Try again,” Taehyung says. Jungkook and Taehyung have weekly cuddle sessions in which Seokjin is often an enthusiastic participant.
“He was nosy and kept pestering me, and bribed me with blow jobs,” Jungkook says, shamefaced.
“Betrayed,” Taehyung says dramatically as he drops down into a chair. He isn’t too bothered. He figured, when he told Jungkook, that Seokjin would eventually find out. Jungkook is absolute shit at keeping anything from his boyfriend.
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says again.
And he looks like he really is. Taehyung nudges him with his foot under the table. “It’s fine. But don’t tell anyone else. Both of you.”
“If you told Joon that you aren’t fond of him, I’m sure he’d stop bringing him around,” Seokjin offers. Taehyung knows it’s true. Namjoon is one of the sweetest people he knows, possibly one of the sweetest people on this earth.
Taehyung sighs. “That seems petty. I want to be the bigger person.”
“I mean, he looked pretty short. I’m pretty sure you’re already the bigger person,” Seokjin says, before cracking up. Jungkook cracks a fond smile, and Taehyung pities him. That’s what happens when you fall in love.
“I’ll do it,” Jungkook says. “I’ll tell Joon that I don’t like him. I’ll say something dumb, like I get a bad vibe from him. Or I can say I’m scared he’s going to seduce Seokjin hyung away from me.”
“But then Namjoon will tell him, and then he’ll know you only said that because of me and then he’ll win,” Taehyung says.
“Win what?”
“I don’t know, win the break up? Win life? He’s already the one who dumped me, I don’t want him to know that he affects me this much, especially years later. It’s pathetic.”
Seokjin looks at him sceptically. “So your plan is to be miserable indefinitely? Because you don’t want him to know that he makes you miserable. Isn’t that just letting him win by ruining the time you spend with your friends?”
“Who even says that he’s going to hang out with us? He’s Namjoon’s friend, not everyone’s. I’ll probably never have to see him or think about him again,” Taehyung says, willing the universe to make his words true.
The universe is a bitch.
It’s not even twenty-four hours later that Yoongi’s calling him.
“Tell me everything you know about Jimin,” Yoongi says, not even bothering with a ‘hello.’ Yoongi is generally level headed and calm, someone you can rely on to keep his head when you’re freaking out. Of course, this is regarding everything except Namjoon. When it comes to Namjoon, Yoongi becomes a mess.
“Why?” Taehyung asks, trying to stay calm.
“Because I think him and Namjoon are fucking.”
The words, which should make Taehyung feel better, make him feel even worse. “What makes you say that?”
“They were all over each other, after you guys left. Jimin couldn’t keep his hands off him. And I was stalking Jimin’s instagram and he posted a pic of him and Namjoon and the caption had a heart.”
“You sound a little crazy right now, hyung.”
“Is Jimin gay?” Yoongi asks.
Taehyung sighs. “That’s not something you should be asking me, and you know it.”
“Fine, but like, if he had a type, would it be Namjoon?”
“Instead of obsessing over this you could just tell Namjoon that you like him and be gross boyfriends like you really want.” He doesn’t think this is actually going to work. Everyone has tried getting Yoongi to confess, up to and including random strangers.
“I don’t like him! Gross. Maybe you like him.”
Taehyung sighs. “I’m not going to fuel your delusions, Yoongi.”
He hangs up, and hopes that’s the last he has to think about Jimin for a long time.
Movie nights are always a little chaotic. For one, Jungkook and Taehyung’s apartment is the only one big enough to fit all of them, and even then it’s a tight fit. Then there’s the fact that they all like different types of movies, and it takes them ages to decide on what to watch. There’s an elaborate anonymous voting system that never stays anonymous, and the night rarely ends without tears, usually Seokjin’s fake ones. But it’s a tradition that’s lasted through the years, and Taehyung loves it.
.
Surprisingly, that night Yoongi is the first to arrive. He normally shows up right when they’re about to give up on him, and usually ends up being the deciding vote. He likes the power it gives him, and uses it to extort favours from the rest of them. Tonight, he comes in looking a little crazy around the eyes, and Taehyung has always been one for adding chaos, so he makes his drink extra strong.
Yoongi winces after taking a sip. “What the fuck?”
Taehyung shrugs. “You look like you need it,”
“No one else is here.”
“If you’re going to be a wimp about it…” Taehyung says, reaching for the glass.
Sure enough, once challenged Yoongi physically can’t back down and snatches it back. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t drink it.”
Taehyung takes a sip from his own drink to hide his smile. Of course that’s when Yoongi says, “I hope you don’t mind, I told Joon to bring Jimin.”
Taehyung chokes on his drink. “What.”
“I figured it would be alright, Jungkook invited Yugyeom last month. I need to do some reconnaissance.”
“What.”
“I know Namjoon, and you know Jimin. If we watch them closely, between the two of us we’ll be able to figure out if they’re fucking, and then-”
“Just fucking ask him!” Taehyung yells. He’s so angry at Yoongi and his stunted emotions and his inability to accept that he likes Namjoon, and under that he’s angry at Jimin for putting him into this situation, and under all of that, he’s just sad. But it’s easier to yell at Yoongi than deal with all of that. “You like Namjoon, so tell him! It’s not that hard!”
With that, Taehyung storms into his room, slamming the door behind him. He’s instantly guilty about yelling. It’s not Yoongi’s fault, not really. Well, he shouldn’t have invited Jimin without asking, but he had no reason to know that Taehyung would literally rather die than face Jimin again.
He’s considering just climbing into bed and pulling the covers over his head when there’s a knock at the door.
“Go away, Yoongi.”
“It’s me,” Jungkook says, opening the door. “You okay?”
“Yoongi invited Jimin to movie night.”
“Yeah, he told me. Seokjin’s yelling at him right now,” he says, lying down beside Taehyung and cuddling him close. Taehyung lets himself be held, wrapping his arms around Jungkook.
“I just feel so stupid that I’m hung up on this so many years later. It shouldn’t bother me so much. I thought I was over it.”
“Hey, you’re allowed to be upset. He did a really shitty thing.”
”I guess.”
Jungkook doesn’t let it go. “He’s your ex, Tae. It makes sense that you’re mad.”
Taehyung hides his face in Jungkook’s chest, saying the words into his sweater, as that would make them hurt less. “We didn’t just break up, he cheated on me,” he says, ignoring the way Jungkook stiffens with surprise. “It took me a long time to get over what happened. Before we were together, before everything else, me and Jimin were friends, best friends. I always thought it was perfect, you know, that we got together. That’s what they say right, your partner should be your best friend.”
Jungkook hums, carding his fingers through Taehyung’s hair.
“When he told me he’d done that, that he’d cheated, it felt like my entire life was falling apart. Jimin was my foundation, we’d been friends for so long, I’d loved him for so long, I didn’t know who I was without him. I didn’t believe him at first, you know? I was so sure that he’d never hurt me, I believed that with everything I had. The sky was blue, the Earth was round, and Jimin loved me. But then he said he’d done that and it was like the sky was falling. I was a mess for a long time.”
“You’re allowed to be hurt,” Jungkook says softly. “You don’t have to be fine.”
“I spent so long fucked up over him, first sad, then angry. I know I’m not special, that people get cheated on all the time, that they eventually move on. And I thought I had. I’ve dated people, there was that thing with Marco that got pretty serious, I haven’t been over here pining over the guy that broke my heart. But seeing him the other day just brought everything back up and I don’t like it. I don’t like remembering who I used to be, that naive trusting kid, so dependent on someone who ended up breaking my heart.”
Jungkook tightens his hold on Taehyung. “Want me to beat him up? Because the offer still stands.”
“You know, I’m really tempted to say yes,” he says, laughing.
“Just say the word,” Jungkook says.
Taehyung extricates himself from Jungkook, sitting up. He doesn’t feel better, but he thinks he can handle this. As much as rehashing everything that happened with Jimin hurts, he also remembers he has people who love him, people he can actually trust. He got through his breakup, he can get through a movie night. “Okay, I think I’m ready to go out there.”
“You sure?” Jungkook asks, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. “We could cancel the whole thing. Seokjin could fake appendicitis.”
“Seokjin got his appendix out last year and he made all of us come to the hospital and did a dramatic reading of his will.”
“Oh yeah. I’ll fake appendicitis. Or better yet, me and Jin can fake relationship problems. We’ll stage a huge fight, it’ll be awesome.”
“Or I could suck it up and spend a couple hours with Jimin.”
“Well, the option’s open,” Jungkook says. “You know Seokjin is always down to use his acting skills.”
They leave his room, and Taehyung listens carefully, but it doesn’t seem like anyone else had gotten there while he had his mini breakdown.
When he gets to the living room, Yoongi looks contrite. Seokjin looks pointedly from Yoongi to Taehyung before retreating to the kitchen, and Yoongi reluctantly drags himself in front of Taehyung.
“M’sorry I invited Jimin without letting you know. It was a dick move.”
“Yeah, it was,” Taehyung says.
“I’ll let you punch me in the face, if it’ll make it up to you.”
“No,” Seokjin squawks, coming out of the kitchen from where he’d been clearly eavesdropping. “You’re supposed to talk about how you’ll change your actions in the future, and be more considerate of others’ feelings.”
“I’m cool with the punching,” Taehyung says.
Seokjin’s lecture is cut off by a knock at the door. Taehyung lets Jungkook get it, ducking into the kitchen to take a deep breath.
He makes sure to greet Namjoon and Hoseok, trying to keep his face neutral as he turns to Jimin. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Jimin says slowly. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“This is my apartment.”
“I, uh, thought it was Jungkook and Seokjin’s?”
“Really it’s mine and Jungkook’s. Seokjin’s is always just around and I haven’t figured out how to get rid of him.”
“Hey,” Seokjin says. “Stop bad mouthing me. Jungkook, defend me.”
“Stop it,” Jungkook says without much conviction.
“I’m breaking up with you,” Seokjin declares, going back into the kitchen.
Jimin and Taehyung are left in an awkward silence that Taehyung doesn’t know how to break. He doesn’t want to ask Jimin any questions, doesn’t want to pry into his life when he clearly isn’t welcome. He doesn’t want to know how much he doesn’t know about Jimin’s life. There was a time when he knew Jimin better than he knew himself, when his life was so closely intertwined with Jimin’s that it was impossible to see where one began and the other ended. Now, they're barely more than strangers.
Jungkook thankfully saves him, draping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him towards the kitchen. “Let’s help Jin with the popcorn or he might really break up with me.”
When they’re in the safety of the kitchen, Taehyung takes a couple deep breaths. It wasn’t so bad. He only wanted to die like 80% of the time.
“Okay?” Jungkook asks.
“I’ll live,” Taehyung says.
Neither Seokjin or Jungkook look convinced, and honestly, Taehyung doesn’t blame them.
Luckily, as hosts, they get first dibs on seating and he sits sandwiched between Seokjin and Jungkook on the sofa, both of them waving away his protests at breaking up the boyfriends.
“You’re practically a part of this relationship, especially after last night,” Seokjin says with a saucy wink that has Taehyung giggling.
With Namjoon and Hoseok camped out on the floor in front of them, and Jimin in the armchair, Taehyung can almost pretend like he isn’t there. As they try to decide what movie to watch, Jungkook and Seokjin are turned up to eleven, bickering and teasing and being contrary just to make the others groan. While he can’t completely forget about Jimin, it makes him feel warm and loved, to have his friends looking out for him like this.
By the time they start the movie, Taehyung is relaxed enough to actually pay attention to most of it. The end credits roll, and Yoongi gets the lights, and Taehyung had almost forgotten that his ex-boyfriend was there with them. Almost.
Because they hosted, the others start cleaning up, while Jungkook, Taehyung, and Seokjin stay on the sofa.
“There’s a reason God gave me these shoulders,” he says, an arm wrapped around the two younger boys.
Before Taehyung can respond, Hoseok comes over with Jimin. “Hey guys, I figured it’s not fair to make Jiminie clean up, seeing as he’s a guest.”
Jimin’s cheeks are flushed as he stammers, “No, it’s fine, I want to help.”
Hoseok pushes his down into a chair with a soft smile. “Relax, you can help next time.”
He bounces away, and it’s silence except for the sounds of the boys goofing around while they clean.
Jimin clears his throat. “So, how long have you two been together?”
“Two years,” Seokjin says.
“How’d you meet?”
“College.”
“How do you all know Namjoon?”
“College.”
Jimin is floundering in the face of Seokjin’s one word answers, and Taehyung should be pettily reveling in his discomfort, but it just makes the stone in his stomach sink further.
“Me and Jungkook were assigned roommates,” Taehyung says, ignoring the way Seokjin nudges him with his elbow. “Namjoon was Jungkook’s tutor in freshman year, that’s how we met him. And Seokjin was friends with Namjoon even before he started dating Kookie. You know how college is, everyone knows everyone.”
Jimin smiles at him, his sunny smile that makes his eyes almost disappear into crescents, and it’s like a blow to his sternum. “It’s really good to see you, Tae. I wanted to tell you, the other day, but you had to go.”
“You too,” Taehyung says, wondering if he sounds convincing.
“It’s been so long, we really need to catch up. How’s your grandma?”
“Fuck you.”
It’s Jungkook who says it, wonderful, loyal Jungkook, who looks one step away from swinging at Jimin.
“Um,” Jimin says, taken aback. “What?”
“She died,” Taehyung says, surprised at how even his voice is. “It’ll be three years next month.”
“Oh my god, Tae. I’m so sorry.”
“Too late, asshole,” Jungkook spits.
“Stop it, Kook,” Taehyung says, because he’s tired, He’s tired of being sad, he’s tired of being hurt, he’s just tired. “He didn’t know.”
“Yeah, wonder why.”
That seems to be Jimin’s limit. “Don’t talk like you know what’s going on, kid.”
Jungkook snorts. “I know more than you, apparently.”
“Really?” Jimin asks, and Taehyung had forgotten how nasty Jimin can get when he’s defensive.
“Yeah, I know a lot about Tae, and the asshole who fucked around behind his back.”
Jimin’s eyes get very wide at that, and he looks at Taehyung, betrayed. “You told him?”
He sounds so hurt, like Taehyung is the one who did something wrong, like Taehyung is the one who cheated.
“Of course he did,” Jungkook says, his voice mean. “I’m his best friend. And unlike some people that actually means something to me.”
This is the last thing Taehyung wanted, to be caught in the middle of a pissing contest between Jimin and Jungkook. He buries his face in Seokjin’s shoulder, breathes in the familiar clean scent of his cologne. Seokjin must pick up on his discomfort, because he says something, quiet but sharp enough to stop Jimin and Jungkook’s sniping.
“I’m really tired guys, I think I’m gonna head to bed,” Taehyung says, getting up. “Thanks for coming over, guys.”
“Wait, Tae-”
“Don’t,” Jungkook says sharply, cutting Jimin off.
Despite himself, Taehyung looks at Jimin, and it feels like a knife to the heart to realize that despite everything, despite breaking his heart and four years apart, it still kills him to see Jimin in pain. He can still read him like a book, and he’s clearly hurt, regret and annoyance plain on his face. Four years ago, Taehyung would go to him in an instant, he’d press kisses to his cheeks and cuddle him until he was smiling again.
But so much has passed between them, and Taehyung’s heart is a patchwork of the pieces Jimin left behind. “Goodnight.”
That night isn’t the first time he cries himself to sleep over Jimin, and he has a feeling it won’t be the last.