Archive of Our Own

“Is it okay?” 

“It’s perfect, Papa, I love it,”

Bucky beams down at the 10-year old girl, her hazel eyes wide and ginger curls bouncing as she squeezes a patchwork teddy-bear in her arms. Money had been really tight recently, ever since the death of his wife, Bucky had struggled making enough money to keep Grace and himself afloat, the rent was taking a huge chunk of his earnings; they both love their home so much and it held so many memories that they both tried hard to avoid the subject of moving out.

The pair had been looking around shops in Brooklyn under a week ago when Grace had spotted a stuffed plush rabbit that she had fallen in love with. The woman on the other side of the till had noticed that Bucky’s sweater had a few holes in, whereas Grace’s clothes were as new as Bucky could afford them (he always put Grace first, no matter what). The toy hadn’t been priced, so when Bucky approached the till he had asked how much the rabbit was she had looked him up and down and coldly said “$20,”.

Bucky had rooted through his wallet, hoping to find an extra $5 but there was nothing left but the $10 note and enough change to scrape $15 altogether (just). He’d pleaded with a smile, hoping the woman would budge on the price, he could tell that Grace was in love with the toy but he couldn’t spend anymore without dipping into the rent and maintenance fund.

“Please,” he said quietly “I can give the rest of the money next week when I’m paid,”

The woman shook her head sternly and looked at him dead in the eyes “I’ve got customers who’ll pay $20 for that today, if you can’t afford it, put it back and come back and buy something when you’ve got all of the money,”

Bucky felt his heart break a little and he looked down to Grace who was looking up at him, he eyes sad but strong.

“It’s okay, Papa, I don’t need him. He’ll find someone who needs him more than I do,”

Bucky could have broken down in the shop and cried right there. His daughter, his beautiful 9-year old daughter who had more logic than most adults and could understand that they couldn’t afford a new toy. She just gave him a small smile, linked their hands together, and let Bucky lead her away from the shop.

Just as they were about to leave Bucky looked over his shoulder to address the woman behind the till but had nothing to say to her and just shook his head, disappointed. The woman’s eyes flashed with guilt and she quickly hardened her demeanour and kept her face neutral. 

Bucky and Grace left the shop with a tinkle of the shop bell.

As soon as Grace went to bed that night, Bucky went to his bedroom and pulled out a box of material that he used for commissions. There was a piece of soft white material but not nearly enough to make a whole plush rabbit. He sighed and looked for a similar material, but ended up only finding patterned. Digressing, he began work on the toy, putting as much love in it as he could. 

Within a few days, the toy was finished, Bucky had put in every spare hour he could between Grace going to bed and any time he had during work where there was nothing for him to do.

Bucky worked at a dry clean and patch-up shop in downtown Brooklyn, earning a pittance to what he used to when he and his wife owned a customised clothes company. It felt like a life-time ago, making clothes for fun, rather than sewing up old ladies dresses and looking at clothes that made Bucky’s hands itch with creation. What he could do with a dress, turn it into something more than a dress, something that could make the wearer feel like they were wearing designer clothes. He and his wife could make unique pieces for people that enhanced the best features of someone’s shape, unlike the off-the-hanger rubbish some people wore now that just looked like potato sacks.

Bucky reminisces about being mentioned in high-up magazines and not having enough time to keep up with the amount of people who wanted their help. He remembers working diligently into the night listening to jazz in comfortable silence while he and his wife worked, fingers sore with hand-sewing, but the feeling of pride when something was finished was over-whelming. Bridal dresses, tailored jackets, trousers, coats and so much more, they made enough clothes in one year to fill 30 wardrobes. Bucky fondly remembers, with a small pang of sadness, Grace’s mother being pregnant, the two of them being so excited, the weeks after Grace was born and how they could live comfortably on just Bucky working.

Until there were complications. Bucky woke in the night to his wife screaming in pain, calling for him. All he can remember is her face screwed in unimaginable pain, flashes of calling the ambulance, hanging up and realising that his hands were covered in blood, and now the phone he had used. Glimpses of just how much blood there was across the bed and how it stood out against the white cotton of the sheets. Bucky hates the memory of holding his wife in his arms, feeling her grow weaker, hearing the ambulance in the distance, wishing her to stay with him, chanting her name, willing her to live, Grace crying in the corner of the room.

And the shuddering last breathe that the woman in his arms gave.

It felt like his heart was being dug out with a rusted spoon, the pain inside him as the emergency crew broke the door down and forced their way in. Numbly letting them take her to bring her back to life.

Hearing nothing.

Bucky vaguely can just about recall being led into a bathroom and letting a man scrub his hands clean of the peeling blood that is congealing onto his fingertips. The man tries not to be to harsh and Bucky can remember his soft hands, and how he wore a smile that was reassuring but didn’t quite meet his eyes.

The man lead him back into the bedroom and there’s a high pitched sound, like ringing in his ears. Bucky’s perception was shifted as a small bundle is placed in his arms and the source of the noise clicks in his head. Grace. His little girl, crying for help like her mother had been, and he’d neglected her by ignoring her. Guilt overtakes him and he kicked into father mode, making sure she was fed and settled, all the while, the ambulance crew member watches on, a sad smile on his face. He finds a notepad and scribbles down a number to call for the morning when Bucky could finally leave the house to go to the hospital to identify the body and be assigned a grief councillor. 

The medic leaves - without saying a word and Bucky never noticed.

After giving Grace the stuffed rabbit the morning after he finishes it, he drops her off at school and heads to work.

A long and boring day commences and Bucky wishes that he could have the guts to re-invent the old business, but that would leave himself and Grace in an finically unstable place.

Sighing, Bucky takes a sip of his rancid instant coffee, hoping that if he doesn’t look at the clock, the time will go quicker. He’s about to close his eyes when the cheesy doorbell goes and Bucky eyes snap to the customer coming in.

He’s tall, his face is splashed with a flush and it looks like he’s rather out of breath, which is odd because from what Bucky can see in the shadow of the guys shirt, he’s pretty cut. He’s lugging a garment carrier (not an uncommon occurrence, really, in a dry cleaners) that looks rather full.

The guy gives him a huge warm smile and he strides over to Bucky.

“Hi, I’m looking to have my uniform dry cleaned and pressed for a ceremony in a week, do you cater to army regulation clothes?” the man asks

Bucky spends a second trying to find his voice, before he finally can speak, the guy just looks vaguely amused.

“Yeah, we can do that,” Bucky squeaks out and gestures for the man to lay the holder on the desk between them “I just need to take a look at the uniform to see if there is any parts that need specialist work- that’s extra,”

The guy nods and spreads the bag onto the desk before unzipping it and opening it up for Bucky to see. Bucky whistles appreciatively at the uniform which is dark green and has a multitude of coloured bars on the breast - Bucky has no idea what each one means, but he’s pretty sure the guy in front of him must be a hero. That is until he notices the purple medal lying next to them with a gold heart.

“Jesus, what happened to you to get that?” Bucky says loudly and then chastises himself - what if this guy has PTSD and doesn’t like to talk about it? What if he causes him to have some kind of attack? Bucky quickly adds “It’s okay, you don’t have to answer that, I’m just too damn nosey for my own good,”

The guy just smiles, but it doesn’t quite make his whole face look happy, as if he’s remembering something terrible an trying to cover it up.

“No, it’s okay, just a little embarrassing, I shouldn’t have it, there are other guys out there who deserve it more,” is the reply Bucky gets and he frowns.

“I doubt that’s true, what happened —?” Bucky uses his hands to gesture a little, insinuating for the other guy to say his name.

He catches on and fills in “Steve, Steve Rogers,” and holds out his hand warmly.

Bucky grasps the hand (and why not, this guy has to be some kind of superman, he’s got the looks, the height and the outfit) “James, but all my friends call me Bucky,”

Steve processes for a second “If you want,” he shrugs a little “if you want, we can grab a coffee and talk about it, I’d love to know how one of the best seamsters in America ends up working in a back street dry cleaners,”

Bucky does a double take and his eyes widen in shock “You know me? But that was years ago, hell, that was nearly ten years ago,”

Steve shrugs “I’ve still got one of the coats that I bought from you. What happened? Your wife died but you didn’t carry on?”

Bucky takes a deep breath “Didn’t seem right, carrying on after she died. She made the business, not me. She’s the one who went out and found designers for us to sign up to. I was never any good at that.”

“What about your daughter? Grace? She must be nearly ten now, right?” Steve asks softly

Bucky looks at Steve, brow furrowed “We never told any papers that we had a girl, let alone her name. How did you know that?”

Steve looks caught, he panics for a second before he gives a response “I was there, the night she died. I was on my first emergency shift when we were called out to your apartment, by the time we got to you, it was too late, she was gone and you were covered in her blood—,”

“Stop,” Bucky says suddenly, finding it difficult to breathe “please,” he murmurs, eyes burning with tears.

“I wasn’t supposed to upset you, shit, I’m sorry,” Steve says, laying a hand on Bucky’s shoulder “I just dug through the internet, I knew that you were the best man for the job, I eventually found a tweet, of all things, from a woman who says she found you here a few months ago,”

Bucky takes another deep breath and feels a shudder run over him, like someone’s just walked over his grave.

“Lemme make it up to you, I’ll go grab a Starbucks for us both, it doesn’t look like you’re too busy today, and I’ll tell you about how I got the medal. That okay?” Steve says quickly, trying to atone.

Bucky shakes his head “It’s okay, you don’t owe me anything,”

Steve holds up his hands “No, really, let me do this. You look like a caramel frappachino kinda guy,”

Bucky just smiles and nods “There’s only an hour and a half until I finish, it shouldn’t get too busy between now and then. If my boss drops by I’ll just say you’re waiting for something and the machine broke down earlier. I’ll sort out your uniform whilst you’re gone,”

Steve reciprocates the smile and leaves the shop with a electronic ring.

Steve comes back a quarter of an hour later with an americano and a caramel frap, ranting about the woman in front of him in the queue in Starbucks and how she’d taken forever to choose a flavour of muffin. Bucky smiles at the small act of irritation and for once enjoys the company of another adult who didn’t look at him with sympathy in their eyes.

They talk for an hour and within that time Steve talks about his time in the army as a medic, Bucky taunts him for his nickname “Captain America” even though it’s not possible for a medic to achieve a Captain status in the army. Steve tells him about how he got his Purple Heart and Bucky nearly cries at how Steve had been held capture, shot and severely wounded but still managed to save the lives of over 50 men behind enemy lines. The way Steve describes the pain makes Bucky wonder why he ever complained about sore fingers from hand-sewing, when the man sitting in front of him went through all kinds of hell like water torture and being tied and left, naked in a room with open wounds and only sand on the floor for a bed. Bucky cringed at how Steve’s lesions were left to become infected and the most his captures did was fill them with glue in order to slow the process down but not cease the pain.

By the end, Bucky feels like he’s been on the journey with Steve all along and after a while he forgets about the time, that is until Steve says he has to go and Bucky’s heart nearly leaps out of his chest in shock.

“Fuck, my daughter, Grace, she’s at school,” Bucky shrieks, collecting his keys from behind the desk and locking up the cash register, running into the back and checking everything is turned off and ushering Steve out.

“I’m such a bad dad, she’s going to hate me,” he rambles as he locks the front door and is just about to run to the school when Steve grabs his arm

“What school does she go to? I’ve got a car, I’ll drive you there to save time,” he says calming.

And damn if having someone to help calm Bucky down right now is exactly what he needs.

“Really?” he says disbelievingly 

“Yeah, which school's she at?” Steve asks again

Bucky shakes his head “It’s on Coney Island, we put some money together before Grace was born specifically to send her to a good school. She shouldn’t have to suffer in her life because of her mom dying. She finishes class in ten,”

“We’ll be there in no time, “ Steve says with reassuring smile

Bucky feels his heart clench and hopes he and Steve stay in touch after this.

They reach Grace’s school with a few minutes to spare and Steve manages to convince Bucky that he has enough time to keep him company, although Bucky is slightly suspicious of Steve for knowing where to go when they get to the school.

They hear the kids chatting before they appear in the school entrance.

Grace looks like a suspicious mom as she wonders over to Bucky, her eyebrows raised at the man standing next to her dad.

“Hey, sweetie,” Bucky says as he picks up his daughter and gives her a huge hug before balancing her on his hip.

“Who’s this?” she asks immediately, addressing Bucky, looking at him and not even glancing at Steve.

“This is Steve, honey, I met him at work today,” Bucky replies, there’s no point lying, Grace is like her mother, she can tell when she smells a lie, it’s a scary trait that Bucky’s glad for her to have for later life.

She nods and her eyes soften a little bit, that is until a little blonde kid runs up to Steve and Steve pulls him into his arms, squeezing him until the kid giggles and squeal with laughter.

“Da!! Putme doown!” Steve lets the boy down and looks guiltily at Bucky.

The man opposite's eyes are widening by the second and his mouth is agape in shock, he lets Grace down from out of his arms and she goes over to Steve's.

“You never mentioned that you’ve got a kid,” Bucky says slowly, feeling a little lied to “I think you missed that out,”

“Well, I kinda turned up and admitted to have searched for you on the internet, don’t you think it’d be a bit creepy if I hit the bombshell on you that our kids go to the same school?” Steve said, a wry smile on his lips “and I didn’t realise until you said Grace goes to the school on Coney, there’s only three so I kinda figured I’d wait until we got here,"

Bucky reasons quickly in his mind and realises that Steve seems like a good guy and if Bucky had been in the same boat he probably would have done exactly the same.

He sighs and crouches down to be eye level with Steve’s kid.

“What’s you’re name, kiddo?”

“Alexander,” the kid mumbles

“That’s a cool name, man,” Bucky smiles and ruffles the kids hair, he turns to Grace “d’you two know each other?”

“I’ve seen him in the playground a few times, we don’t have classes together,” Grace says confidently, her ginger curls circling her face perfectly, her grey eyes welcoming to the boy opposite her.

“How bout you two go and play in the park together? Get to know each other a little better, maybe?” Bucky suggest, looking up to Steve for confirmation who nods and smiles, the pair run off to the play park and immediately get on the swings (of course).

“His mom still around?” Bucky asks after a few beats of silence

“He’s never known her, I adopted him when I came back from my time on the front line. After I got better, beat the demons in my head and realised the what I needed next was a family. I can wait for a partner,” Steve pauses for a second, his eyes pausing on Bucky, and the other man doesn’t miss it “I was an orphan myself as a young kid, I know how difficult it can be. I wanted to change someone’s life for the better. That’s where Alex came in,” Steve finishes 

The pair turn to watch their children play together and giggle as they talk about their experiences. Steve admits to having doubts on his parenting, and Bucky confides that he has no female relatives to turn to when Grace hits the age that he can no longer help her with advice or his own knowledge.

Before they leave the park, Steve convinces Bucky to spend his lunch hour the next day with him. They agree to meet at one and part ways, both Alex and Grace trailing at their retrospective parents heels, making funny faces at one another before they disappear from one anthers vision.

When Bucky and Grace get they have a fairly normal evening, dinner, bit of dross on the TV and then bed. It’s only when Bucky gets to bed that he really considers a romantic relationship with Steve. Bucky’s never been one to not try things, hell, college was a fountain of knowledge for a lot of reasons, and many of them weren’t academic. But thinking about it, Bucky really can’t see anything wrong with the idea of perhaps being more bisexual then he originally thought. He’d spent so long with his wife, the only person who he had loved as much as her, he’d never really paid that much attention to other interests like other men and women.

Bucky tosses and turns, not an over whelming revelation, people love who people love, right? There’s no choice. Bucky could see himself next to Steve, maybe. Maybe in love with him. But images of his wife creep in and he feels ashamed, he shouldn’t be thinking about relationships for himself, he had a doting and loving wife who was perfect for him. Bucky doesn’t want to forget her and end up with someone else, she’d hate that, wouldn’t she? Someone else taking her place in their little group.

Right?

Bucky let’s in a long breath and sighs heavily, conflicted. Does he sacrifice the possibility of replacing his wife? What if Grace feels like he doesn’t love her anymore? What if he falls in love with someone and then she feels put out? He can’t risk that, she’s too precious to him, the last piece of her.

Of Natasha.

Bucky’s nervous when he waits for Steve the next day, drumming his fingers on the counter-top.

The shrill parody bell makes Bucky jump as Steve walks in looking frustratingly immaculate, his charming smile in place. Bucky attempts to run a hand through his mop top hair but decides that if he doesn’t leave it alone, it’s going to turn into a ball of fluff.

Bucky closes the shop and writes a note, which he sticks to the door, explaining what time he’s going to be back; he normally just works through his lunch break in order to earn a few more dollars, but he reckons he deserves this break for once.

The cafe they go to is one of Steve’s choice, it’s warm and cozy, but not to the point where the waitresses are two steps away from harassment and basically stare at you until you leave. The menu looks reasonable and Steve mentions that he knows the owner personally, that he’s a close friend. Within a few minutes of the pair arriving and sitting down at their allocated table and browsing the menu, the kitchen door sweeps open and a man walk out to them, eyes Steve, which then travel over to Bucky.

“Hey, man, didn’t expect you to be in today,” the guy says, before turning his attention to Bucky and offering him his hand “I’m Sam, me and Steve were deployed together, I’m para-rescue,” he adds for Bucky, who in turn introduces himself.

“Well, I kinda owe Bucky here an apology, so I thought I’d bring him to the best Italian in New York,” Steve replies smoothly, and Bucky can’t fault the guy on his flattery as Sam almost blushes at the compliment almost.

“I guess I better go cook something up for you two then, what do you fancy?” Sam says with a wry smile.

“All the stuff on the menu looks good, but what’s your recommendations?” 

Sam almost leaps into professional mode and checks off each dish on his fingers “There’s some new pizza’s that I’m thinking of adding to the menu, they’re cooking in the oven at the moment, so I guess you guys wouldn’t mind being guinea pigs for that one, right?”

Steve grins at Bucky, free food sounds fantastic.

“Then there’s the spicy prawn tagliatelle which is a best seller here - even got a mention in the Good Food magazine a couple months back, we can do a burger if you aren’t too fussed on pasta, or perhaps fresh salad, I know you like to watch what you’re eating, Cap,” Sam finishes “and I’ll have two beers sent over for you,”

Steve blushes at the salads, it’s obvious to Bucky that the guy likes to keep himself in shape, and hell, if he likes salads, that makes him a damn sight healthier than Bucky is from day to day. Most of the lunches Bucky has are the cheapest food he can find or a sandwich packed with peanut butter and jelly that he made whilst making Grace’s lunchbox.

Steve orders for Bucky and gives him a wink, saying it’ll be the best damn meal of his life, Bucky can’t wait, he can’t remember the last time he sat in a restaurant and had a proper meal.

They chat about mild subjects: school, neighbourhoods and their jobs. It turns out they don’t live too far away from one another and Bucky’s eyes widen when he realises that they grew up just a street away from one another, but enough of a difference to end up in opposite catchment areas. Steve talks of his childhood and growing up without the stability of having a constant parental figure, being taken from one foster home to another, but never being one of the lucky ones who was permanently adopted.

“I was a sickly kid, really skinny and I got ill real easy. The medicine wasn’t cheap to keep me healthy. A lot of the adults trying to find a kid had gone through various stages of processes like IVF so to have a kid who cost even more money on top of that was a little of an put-off,” Steve explains grimly, fiddling with the napkin of the table.

Bucky can’t imagine the man in front of him being anything less than capable of himself “Skinny? You?”

Steve chuckles a little and shrugs “I was a late developer, I didn’t grow until I was about 19. I really wanted to be a medic and help people, so once bulked out a little - a lot - I joined up and it kind of went from there. I mean, I wasn’t completely in the clear, I used to get beat up a lot, people tell me that my mouth was too big for my own good. I just don’t like bullies, y’know? You see someone in trouble, you gotta help ‘em out. Admittedly, I can throw punches a lot better now than I could when I was 16, man, I used to bruise like a peach. It was worth it though, although some guys didn’t know when to quit. There was this girl once being tailed by four guys, she looked really scared, I stepped in so she could have enough time to run away. Ended up with a broken wrist and a fractured femur. I’m glad it was me, though, hate to think what they would have done to her if I hadn’t taken the wrap,”

Bucky just looks at Steve, astonished.

“So being a hero, it’s kinda written into you?” he jokes

Steve flushes a little and it about to reply when Sam breezes through the kitchen doors once more.

“Some of my favourite dishes for my favourite friends,” he says easily, sliding the food onto the table.

It’s only then that Bucky realises just how hungry he really is. The food looks incredible and he can’t wait to dive in, and possibly live in the booth their in. Forever.

The first bite of the experimental pizza makes Bucky groan and he accidentally catches Steve’s eye, who feels a hot blush creeping up his neck.

Sam doesn’t seem to notice and explains the topping “That, my friend is a homemade roast pumpkin and chorizo pizza, I was kinda thinking I’d make that one in a month or so when fall kinda kicks in a little more. The one to the left is silver beet, broccoli and mozzarella, the dish to the right is tortellini with a ham and cheese filling, then the final dish over there is pitted olives with red pepper, beef tomato and mozzarella kebabs, I’m trying an idea out that I saw in a cook book,” Sam finishes his sentence with a flourish of two napkins which he sets retrospectively on Bucky’s and Steve’s laps. “Enjoy boys, they’re the best food you’re gonna have all week till you come crawling back here wanting more,”

The pair laugh and Sam leaves them with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Holy shit, there’s enough food here for a small army,” Bucky says as Sam disappears into the back.

“Yeah, Sam likes to overcompensate in that way,” Steve chuckles and takes a slice of pizza, biting into it and making an agreeing sound “how the hell does he manage to make this food taste so good?”

Bucky’s already guzzling down his second piece and he just makes a confused noise through his mouth of food.

They eat in companionable silence, every now and again, complementing the food or taking a sip of beer, Bucky keeps an eye on the time, making sure he’s not late back to work.

Once they’ve finished their frankly orgasmic food (although Bucky glumly reminds himself that he can’t remember the last time he had a private moment do indulge in such a thing as an orgasm) they get the bill (which is way less than it’s meant to be) and Steve pays (Bucky tries to put money onto the steel dish, but finds it back in his wallet after he goes to the toilet). Bucky’s really not in a position to argue, he shouldn’t have agreed to lunch and if Steve is offering to pay, the money not spent will help towards Grace’s dinner tonight.

They get back to the dry cleaners with moments to spare, but there’s a stern looking man behind the till looking disappointedly at Bucky. Steve notices how Bucky tenses, intakes a breathe and swallows.

“Hello, Mr Pierce, how can I help you?” Bucky says, turning the sign around on the door and unlatching it so customers can come in.

“Where have you been?” Pierce demands, Steve can feel this going no-where good.

“I’ve just had my lunch-break with my friend, Steve,” Bucky replies, honestly, turning to Steve for a confirmation nod which is given.

“I thought you got my email about lunch-breaks, we can’t afford to lose valuable service time, Barnes.” Pierce says coldly, walking over to the pair and getting close to Bucky, making the darker-haired man feel 8-inches tall.

Pierce inhales and turns his nose up “Is that alcohol on your breath, Barnes?” he challenges, Bucky’s eyes widen.

“It was only the one, I swear, it’s been so quiet recently and I didn’t get your email because my laptop’s broken at home and I can’t afford to have it fixed,” Bucky tries to say, but Pierce cuts across him.

“Can’t afford to have it fixed?!” he repeats angrily “maybe you could take this job seriously if you weren’t galavanting off spending your wages on alcohol and forgetting to be here early in order not to miss business opportunities. I have championed you since you came to me looking for a job, I knew you were used to working in your own time, but this is not acceptable. You come, stinking of beer and then expect me to be able to let you work! Barnes, until you grow up, you’re no longer one of my employees. Take any personal items and leave my premises!”

Bucky looks like he’s going to burst out crying “You can’t — Mr Pierce, this - - this is the only job I have, you can’t do this, I need this job! My little Grace needs a father who can support her, and I need this job for that!” he says, voice breaking every few words “please, sir, reconsider, I can’t be unemployed, we’ll lose our apartment, and I can’t find a job, my wages go in tomorrow and I needed them to pay for the bills!”

Pierce shows no compassion, and nearly breaks a smirk, when he says “I can’t give you a job you care so little about. Maybe you should have thought about your daughter before you chose to go off with this man,” he gestures to Steve “the only reason I gave you this job was pity, and you’ve stretched me too thin, Barnes. Take your stuff and go,”

Bucky’s upset turns to anger as he barges past Pierce and collects the few items he kept under the desk, quickly going into the back room, he grabs Steve’s dress uniform and marches out of the shop, Steve awkwardly trailing behind him.

As soon as they hit open air, Bucky thrusts the uniform into Steve’s arms and bursts out crying.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” he sobs into the palm of his hands “Grace expects a dad who can keep a job down, how am I going to tell her?”

Steve feels guilt in his gut and pulls Bucky into his arms “We’ll find something, until then, tell me how much you need for the rent tomorrow and I’ll give it to you so you can have a while to find a better suiting job,” Bucky tries to protest but Steve shushes him “don’t think of it as charity, you can pay me back whenever it’s possible, but I’m not holding you to it. You and Grace need your home and it’s my fault that you went out for lunch today,”

Bucky sniffles and shakes his head “I can’t ask you to do that, Steve, it’s not fair, you barely know me,”

“D’you think I’d let you sleep on the streets based on how long we’ve known each other? God, Bucky, don’t be an idiot. Let me do this for you and we’ll find you another job, a better job where the boss isn’t a dick and doesn’t take some kind of sadistic pleasure from hearing you beg,” Steve says “I’ve got half a mind to go back in there and show him a thing or two,”

Bucky shakes his head tiredly “He’s not worth it, leave him be. He’ll die alone, that’s a comfort enough,”

Steve smiles sadly and steers Bucky towards his car “C’mon, Buck, lets get you home and get this month’s bills and rent sorted,”

Bucky swears Steve is some kind of angel, the way he breezes into his life at the right time. Yeah, there’s been some serious changes in the last two and a bit days but Bucky has never felt so optimistic about life before. He’s able to take a little bit of time actually choosing a job, as oppose to just finding one to get bills paid. Steve assures him that the money he’s leant, and Bucky makes sure he knows he’s just loaning it, isn’t going to affect his own home life and the next day Steve meets up with Bucky during his own lunch break from the local VA to help Bucky choose a new job and get an interview.

When they meet at Sam’s restaurant for lunch, Steve’s got a suspiciously large smile on his face.

“What? Why do you look so please with yourself?” Bucky asks as soon as they sit down.

“I spoke a friend of mine last night who owed me a huge favour, turns out, I’ve got you a pretty good job offer without having to do an interview,” Steve beams

“Go on,” Bucky encourages coolly, intrigued.

“A friend of mine, Pepper, her boyfriend runs a tailor shop in Lower Manhattan. I told her about you, she then told him, and it turns out that he used to be a regular customer of yours. He said that if you need a job, he wants you to work for him before any other seamster can get their hands on you,” Steve says, the smile still plastered on his face “the wage per annual depends on how many suits you sell, but he promises that it’s no less than $60, 000 a year, that’s without tips and so on. The hours are to work with you, I explained you’ve got a kid and are a single dad, they’re more than accommodating for that,”

Bucky nearly spits out his coffee when he hears the wage “How long is the contract for? How long do I have to work with him?” 

Steve’s eyes are lit with pure happiness “As long as you need it. He really doesn’t want you going to anyone else,”

“When can I meet him?!” Bucky nearly shouts, joy bubbling up in the pit of his stomach.

“This afternoon, the VA said I can have some time off, they’ve got a guest speaker out of the blue, so I can come with you,” Steve replies equally over-joyed.

Bucky stands up and pulls Steve into a hug “Thank you so much, you have no idea just how much this means to me. I don’t have to worry about Grace anymore and keeping her in our home, I can get her proper presents at Christmas, and we can have a tree this year and I can buy her the biggest cake in New York,”

“It’s my pleasure,” is all Steve can squeak out as the air is pushed out of him in the hug that Bucky is nearly killing him with appreciation.

They head up to Lower Manhattan, Bucky pulls at his suit tie self-consciously, feeling a little nervous.

“You still haven’t told me who this guy is, Steve,” Bucky says nervously.

“Well, it’s better for him to have his own entrance, he’s rather fond of hearing his own name, especially when he’s the one saying it,” Steve says as they turn to park on the lower end Greenwich Street.

“You make him sound self-centred,”

Steve contemplates for half a second before nodding enthusiastically and saying “Yeah, yeah he is,”

They enter the shop and Bucky feels the familiar itch in the palm of his hands, to feel fabric, to test their strengths. The whole room is fitted with different sections all pertaining to a different part of a suit. The lining sections have the most elegant patterns and when Bucky walks over to test the fabric quality, it’s almost as if the material is water running off his hands. The suit fabrics don’t disappoint either, the fabric is so soft that Bucky wants to wrap himself in it and never leave.

“Yeah, can’t beat that stuff. I have it imported from South America, the animal that makes it only makes enough silk in 3 years to line 14 suits,” a voice says behind him.

“This is vicuna, right?” Bucky asks, the guy nods, Steve watches the pair, feeling like a proud parent.

“Yeah, that’s the most expensive material we stock, Pep tells me to keep it in the back, but it’s too darn pretty for it’s own good.” the man holds out his hand “I’m Tony Stark, one of your old followers. Man, I still have my whole wardrobe that I bought from you. Timeless, beautiful clothes. I’m so glad you’ve chosen to work here, we’re going to have a surge of new customers as soon as word gets around that you’re here.”

Bucky starts to think Steve exaggerated about this guy, but by the way he hangs 5- digit material in what may as well be his shop window, maybe he isn’t too far from what Steve said.

“Boy, have I got plans for you. We don’t specifically do just suits here, we do other stuff as well, so don’t worry, you won’t be bored. Rogers mentioned the annum fee, right? Well, that’s only the minimum, I doubt we’d ever have to go as low as that, I’m sure you’ll be on a constant 6 figure sum, I’m all for conservatism but a man’s gotta make enough to keep a house down, right?” Stark laughs and Bucky doesn’t know how to respond. He’s frozen, it all seems too good to be true.

“You okay there, Barnes? You look like you’ve just been told to sever your left arm off,” Stark asks

“Yeah,” Bucky says in a small voice “what about hours? My little girl goes to school on Coney Island, will that be a problem?” 

Tony slaps him on the back and grins widely, like a cat who bought all the cream in the store.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little curls about that, you can set your own days, making sure you work about 28-30 hours a week, with a few weeks off for holidays each year, I’m not going to starve you from your daughter, I’m not a monster,” Tony jokes and turns to Steve “thanks for getting in touch, I’ve wanted to know where New York’s finest disappeared to. I’m sorry about your wife, from the clothes she made, she was pretty spectacular at her job,”

Bucky’s mood levels out for a second and he remembers his wife, he looks up at Steve and remembers what he’d said in the dry cleaners just days ago.

“That’s okay, I think she’d like it if she knew I was working here.” Bucky says with a small smile “thank you for this opportunity,”

“I think she knows,” Steve says in a quiet voice, Tony and Bucky look over at him “I like to think the people we love aren’t gone, I think they’re still watching over us,”

Bucky gives him a grateful smile and it soon becomes clear that Tony isn’t a touchy feely guy as he makes an awkward noise and draws his arm back from where his hand is resting on Bucky’s shoulder.

“It’s all a bit too Brokeback for me, boys,” Tony say, almost apologetically

Bucky makes a noise of protest as Steve says “It’s not - - we’re not like that,”

Tony gives them a sideways glance “Wow, you two got issues,” he turns to Bucky “start on Monday, about 10am, I’ll make sure that you know your way around the stock room and that you know how to use our machines. I know how time can make you a little rusty with a needle, so we’ll go through a refresh course with tailor chalk and shit. Can’t wait to work with you, Barnes,”

Bucky shakes off the feeling that Steve is staring holes into the back of his head and smiles “Thank you so much, Mr Stark,”

Tony wrinkles his face  “That’s my dads name, call me Tony,”

Bucky nods, shakes Tony’s hand and leaves with Steve.

They get back to the car and Bucky turns to Steve “Thank you, so much, I can’t believe I’m going to be able to go on holiday again. Take Grace to Europe, we can see the Eiffel Tower, jeez, it’s a new start,”

Steve smiles, but it disappears and Bucky knows what’s coming. 

“Steve, it’s fine. Stark’s just reading into it. Don’t feel awkward or anything,” Bucky says, trying to reassure the both of them.

Steve looks nervous and Bucky doesn’t know why “What?” he asks.

“Well…,” Steve tries “well, if you, if you want, maybe I wouldn’t mind him reading into it?”

Bucky’s taken aback “But, we only met like three days ago, we barely know each other.”

Steve smiles “Bucky, we know more about each other than most couples do in the first year of a relationship. You don’t have to have an answer now, just give it some thought, yeah?”

Bucky musters a small smile and nods gently “Okay,”

Steve can’t hold back the smile, because Bucky didn’t say no.

It’s the next morning when Bucky’s in bed, thinking about Steve’s proposition.

He imagines Alex and Grace as brother and sister, him and Steve sharing a picnic watching their children play in the park. Bucky hates to admit his romantic side, but what the hell, he’s alone, no one will know. He imagines life as he and Steve grow older, having someone next to him who is so good, who is full to the brim with selflessness, going for days out to the beach, going on holiday. That trip to Paris, going together, as a family. It’s been a long time since Bucky had a full family, and since he met Steve, he wants a partner, a best friend, and for some bizarre and unknown reason, that person seems to be Steve.

Bucky thinks on what he and Steve would do if Sam ever had the kids. The times that Bucky’s seen Steve, his shirts are always a little too tight, pulling around his shoulders and chest. Bucky imagines what he looks like when he’s just got out of the shower, towel collected around his waist, Bucky imagines how it would feel to have someone his own age looking out for him again, how it would feel to be loved. He’s been so lonely recently, so lonely; Bucky’s been trying to hide his hunger for the touch, he wants to feel someones lips on his own. He craves it. Some days it was easy to suppress but since three days ago, Bucky has felt an urge to go and have sex, but not just with anyone, with Steve.  He wants to make up for the childhood Steve had and give back to him the good that he’s given Bucky, he wants to make him feel good.

Bucky’s hand inches down his body until it reaches his pyjama bottoms, tugging at them he feels an interest in the pit of his stomach, the burn of arousal beginning, it feels like a relief to finally touch himself, relief that builds into tension, and fuck, does Bucky feel like he could do with some de-stressing right now.

He finishes ridiculously quickly, a little ashamed of how quickly he cleans up and basks in the after glow of the orgasm, delighted to have not been interrupted or distracted by his thoughts. He wants this feeling but with Steve, he wants to feel Steve kiss him when he finishes, to have him to keep him warm through the night. To have another body there to wake up to. Now there’s a thought, Steve in a morning, messy hair, drowsy eyes and shirtless, pale and warm from sleep. The two of them pliant, hand reaching everywhere, feeling every inch of skin, feeling encompassed by someone else. God, Bucky feels like he’s drowning in the need to feel it for real. Closing his eyes, he hopes that he can drift off back to sleep… 

..."Papa!” there’s a knock at his bedroom door.

Well, having a lie in was a nice thought.

Grace and Bucky spend the weekend celebrating. They go for cake at the cafe down the street and end up in the small corner shop next door buying Grace all the sweets she wants and a DVD of her choice to watch when they get home. Bucky drops off his laptop at a computer specialist and is told to wait a few days for a diagnostic. Bucky then takes Grace to the zoo and they spend ages looking around, Grace likes the ocelot’s whilst Bucky prefers the meerkats and the penguins. Grace does an impression of a penguin that has Bucky in stitches and he can’t help but note how much she looks like her mom. Her auburn curls bouncing around on her head, and her little upturned nose scrunched up for some reason (Grace says that it’s because it’s supposed to be a beak - stupid).

Bucky still has to be careful with money until payday but he doesn’t mind spending a little too much in order to give Grace the weekend she’s always deserved.

On the Sunday night they get into their PJ’s early and watch another movie on the TV; Grace falls asleep pretty much half way through, Bucky can feel the weight of Grace’s body next to his own. The actress on the TV is crying because her husband left her for someone else, and Bucky feels a pang of guilt. Out of all of the that he’d considered within the last few days, his wife hadn’t been one of them. He’d always imagined being together forever, never having to feel lonely ever again; yet here he was, contemplating another relationship as his wife was probably looking down on him feeling betrayed. Maybe Bucky only wanted Steve because he was lonely? Could it be that he’s just so alone with life that he latches onto the first adult that he finds? The pang of guilt turns into a wave of sadness and Bucky toys with the ends of Grace’s hair. What would Natasha say? Would she tell him to bring up Grace alone?  For him to put her best interest’s first, relationships once she’s left home? Could he make sure that Grace was still his number one priority whilst in a relationship, not get distracted and keep his life well balanced? It’s been so long for Bucky that the idea of balancing a home life and a relationship seems like a mammoth task. Having to divide time between work and being a father and a partner.

Grace stirs on his lap and he can’t help but make a firm choice in his head.

Grace first - relationships later.

The pair eventually get to bed, Bucky lifts Grace into his arms and carries her to her room, taking off her socks and tucking her in, he kisses her forehead.

“You’re always gonna come first, Gracie, no matter what,” he whispers into her hair before padding softly from the room, glancing back at her before pulling the door to.

When Bucky collapses into bed after brushes his teeth, he falls asleep within an hour and dreams of things he’ll forget by morning.

The next morning comes along and Bucky can’t wait to get started with Tony and the business. He drops Grace off at school, she whispers a good luck whilst giving him a thumbs up and he drives up to Lower Manhattan and pulls into the employees parking behind the building.

Stark is there- of course he is- big smile and perfectly cut suit pristine and charcoal. 

“Here he comes, the man with metal hand, who can create masterpieces from nothing,” he hollers, Bucky rolls his eyes, maybe Steve was right all a long.

Tony puts a friendly hand on Bucky’s shoulder “Nice to see you, punctual, smart, looking like you need a whiskey. Bad weekend? Actually, if you’d rather not say, that works for me, I’m not really great at giving advice, people have said. And by people, I mean Pepper,”

The aforementioned suddenly appeared through a staff only door.

“Tony, don’t scare the poor boy, he’s only just got here and you’ve invaded his personal space and managed to make him feel awkward,” she chastises, plucking Tony’s hand off Bucky’s shoulder and letting him catch his breath. Pepper turns to Bucky, her voice calm but stern.

“If he keeps turning into an over-sized puppy, just call for me and I’ll make sure that he doesn’t make you feel claustrophobic, he doesn’t know when to stop when he gets too excited,” she says, Tony goes to argue but she just raises her eyebrows and the complaint stops before it can become words.

Once Tony has calmed down, the morning goes better than Bucky could have hoped, he already has one commission to work on and he’s using all of the old tools he used to like it’s been days since he did this. He has his own room in the back, where he works diligently and every now and again, Pepper pops her head around the door with a hot drink which tastes like the finest damn quality money can buy.

By lunchtime, it seems like he’s only been working for a few minutes, and yet Bucky’s accomplished so much. He’s made the basic skin of the jacket and still has to attach the lining and hem the lapels. There’s a knock at the door and Tony appears.

“You’ve got a visitor, Barnes,” he says “shall I send him in?”

Bucky’s mind goes blank for a second, and he nods, confused. His mind is put to rest (in the loosest sense) when Steve’s head pops around the door, Bucky stands up from kneeling on the floor to greet him.

“Hey, I wanted to see how it’s going,” he says, looking at the tailor dummy with the suit on, he hold up a paper bag “I bought lunch so you don’t have to go out,”

Fuck, Steve is going to kill Bucky with kindness.

Bucky smiles “Thanks, you didn’t have to. I completely forgot to pack myself anything this morning, I was so nervous,” he toys with the spare piece of fabric in his hands.

“Well, it’s good that I dropped by then, plus, you could do this standing on your head, Bucky, don’t let anyone tell you different,” Steve says confidently, giving Bucky a light, friendly, assuring punch to the arm “and the food is from Sam’s place, it’s the pizza we tried the other day. The pumpkin one?”

Bucky’s mouth waters at the mention of the said food and he thanks Steve with a smile as he takes the bag and digs in. The food is even better - if that’s possible - than the last time and Bucky lets out a small groan as the flavours explode on his tongue.

“That good?” Steve jokes and Bucky just nods, his mouth stuffed with pizza, because damn Bucky could die right there and say his life ended perfectly.

“Damn good,” Bucky manages as soon as he swallows his mouthful of pizza.

Steve laughs and offers him another piece, Bucky takes it immediately but decides savour it this time. Steve looks at the skeleton of the suit and looks impressed.

“You’ve done all of this in one morning? Jeez, Buck, you must have missed it a hell of a lot,” he says, inspecting the chalk lines and the darts, although to be honest he wouldn’t know what would be wrong or right with his lack of knowledge in the area.

“Yeah, it’s like slipping back into an old routine. I used to love it so much - I forgot just how much,” Bucky says happily, trailing his hand down the shoulder of the jacket and tracing the seam. Steve’s hand is doing the same and they accidentally brush fingertips.

Steve runs his hand over the top of Bucky’s and traces a blue vain down to his wrist tenderly.

As soon as he reaches to lay his hand on the darker-haired mans; Bucky recoils as if he’s been burnt, Steve looks at him, worried, like he’s done something wrong but Bucky just shakes his head. He can’t bear to look at Steve in the eye, he flaps his hands around as if offering surrender.

“No - no!” he mumbles, retreating backwards until the back of his legs hit the table.

Steve looks confused and his eyes widen in shock “What’s wrong? I thought —?” he cuts off and turns bright red “- - shit, I’m sorry, I must have misunderstood. I’m sorry, Bucky,” he puts the left over pizza on the table and backs towards the door before slipping out, all the while murmuring “I’m sorry,”.

Steve leaves and Bucky falls into his chair, waves of guilt washing over him. It wasn’t Steve’s fault that he had jumped to the wrong conclusion - or the right. Bucky just can’t risk having to split his life, even now when he has just landed the best job of the last ten years, he can’t afford to not give his daughter the time he finally has and she deserves.

Bucky needs fresh air, so he gives Tony a nod and manages to say something about his “lunch break” before he stumbles to the nearest park to process.

He finds a bench away from the rest of the feasting workers who have picked the same park to enjoy their break in, and leans over his knees, holding his head in his hands. Had he just fucked up his entire relationship with Steve? Even the friendship side? Bucky genuinely can’t remember the last time he had had such a positive outlook on life, and now, the friend he had made less than a week ago, who had turned his life around, could be thinking of not seeing again based on Bucky’s incapability to be able to coherently tell the other man his reasons.

A noise distracts Bucky and he looks up, momentarily forgetting his existential crisis to see two little girls giggling and squawking playfully with their parents on a picnic, both of their parents. Bucky longs for the domesticity, but he doesn’t want to forget his wife. The girls laugh as one of the parents goes in for a tickle attack, her hair going wild as she rolls around on the picnic mat, her sister laughs at her sibling whilst she picks up a small sandwich and a few seconds later, the tickle tirade ends and the little girl catches her breath before joining her sister for a sandwich as well.

Bucky needs to apologise to Steve, he knows he’s been giving off all the signals for being interested, but this is too much, it’s all happening too fast. He wasn’t expecting Steve to move in on him so quickly, let alone within a week. Although, the longer Bucky ponders on that idea, the stranger it seems; Bucky feels like he’s known Steve since childhood, he can imagine defending the skinny Steve that he’d been told about and then growing closer as they shape and change into adults.

Somewhere in the distance a church bell tolls out one o clock and Bucky realizes he has to get back to work. He jogs back, enjoying the cool breeze on his face, knowing soon it’d be replaced with the small room he now works in – but then he instantly feels guilty. This job is such a fantastic opportunity and he’s lucky to get it, so why does he feel so claustrophobic when he gets back and sits down to start work on the suit jacket again?

About an hour later, Tony pokes his head around the door and coughs, in case Bucky hasn’t already felt his presence or heard the door.

Bucky looks up, expectantly “New customer?” he asks

Tony shakes his head and takes a step into the room “Nope. Actually, I’ve been thinking about what to say for the last hour, I’ve already said, but effusive situations seem to escape me- never been good with gooey stuff. But was there any reason Rogers left looking like he’d been visited by the long lost vision of his parents?”

Bucky sighs and rubs a hand down his face "It's not his fault," he says quietly

Tony gives him a sideways looks "Well, either way, Barnes, he looked like he'd been kicked in the emotional balls,"

"Dammit, I can't do anything now a days, the one friend I make in ten years and I end up pushing him away," Bucky stops scrubbing his face and let's his head hit the back of the chair.

It's Tony's turn to sigh and he drags the chair from the corner to face Bucky "It's clear you've been pining, as soon as you walked into the shop it was like the tension went up to a million percent. So what's the problem? Why aren't you two going at it like rabbits?"

Bucky gives a bitter laugh "No. I can't, I've got Gracie to look after, I can't half my time with her. Not when I've got this job. I need her to be the centre of my world. And I can't do that when I'm distracted with a relationship,"

"Y'know, you can have it so that you can all get along fine. Your daughter doesn't have to suffer because you're half befuddled with tall and golden. You don't have to forfeit your happiness in order to appease your daughter,"

Bucky can feel tears burning in the back of his eyes, his fingers clinging onto the tailors chalk between his fingers- trying to ground himself.

"But what if Grace feels left out?"

"Ask her, level with her, make sure she knows you care about her,"

Bucky feels conflicted, the way that Tony puts it, it feels like it could work. But what about his wife? What would she think?

Tony smiles "Finish the jacket and then go and figure. Sort out what you're gonna say to Grace and then talk it out. The more you're honest with her, the more trust there'll be between you. And if you ever tell Pepper about this conversation I will deny it ever happened,"

Bucky looks across at Tony and gives him a sideways smile, for all of Stark's front of being a bit of a playboy and part sociopathic, when he put his mind to it, he could actually be a pretty decent advice giver.

Bucky picks Grace up from school and they take the subway home, Grace immediately knows something's wrong.

"Are you okay, Papa?"

Bucky looks at his daughter and can't help but feel surprised by her way of being able to sense his discomfort.

"Yeah, I'm okay Gracie, we just need to talk about something when we get home,"

The train halts and stops at Brighton Beach, a few passengers get on, a few get off.

Grace shuffles over to her father and silently twines their fingers. Immediately Bucky feels assured, it's just another crazy inherited sense that Grace has. To be able to assure him with the smallest gesture, just like Nat used to. He looks at her and gives her a small smile, and he knows that she knows that it's him saying thank you, he kisses the top of her head and then she tucks it underneath his chin. They stay like that for the next few stops. Resting on each other, the silence between saying nothing but saying everything.

They get off at Avenue M and walk the rest of the way home, discussing school until Grace finally has to say something about the mood her father's in.

"Are you upset because of Alex's dad?" She asks innocently, squeezing Bucky's hand as they turn to corner to avenue of their apartment.

"Yeah, kinda. Why? Did you see him waiting for Alex in the school yard?" Bucky's tone wavers a bit bit Grace doesn't seem to notice.

She nods "Yeah, he looked upset, when I said hi to him he looked like he'd been crying about something and when Alex to go on his shoulders, he said no. Alex told me last week that he NEVER says no to letting him go on his shoulders,"

Bucky feels the guilt all over again, like a sickness, it curls in his stomach and he feels ill. They walk into their building and head for the elevator, hand in hand, but Bucky's skin still prickles with unease.

"Why are you sad like Alex's papa?"

Bucky sighs “It’s complicated, Gracie, it’s adult stuff. You don’t need to worry about it,”

They reach their floor and enter the hallway to their apartment.

Grace harrumphs and folds her arms, finally acting her age “Why do grown-ups always think children can’t deal with listening to their problems? Why can’t we listen and help in the bestest way we can?”

Bucky looks down at his daughter, astonished. Everyday, the evolving child in front of him manages to leave him speechless in the way she can be so eloquent and almost be wiser than her years. He fishes out his keys and unlocks the door to let them in.

“Okay,” he tries slowly “so, you know that me and Steve met last week and got to know each other?” they go into the kitchen and Bucky looks in the fridge for inspiration for tea.

“Yeah,” Grace says immediately, perching herself on a spinning stool at the breakfast bar.

“Well, I did something really silly, and instead of reassuring Steve that what he did was okay, I kinda let him think he’d got the wrong idea,” Bucky says, each word carefully put, as not to make Grace feel uncomfortable.

Grace scrunches her face for a second before speaking “Did you try and kiss him?”

Bucky nearly chokes on his own tongue “No! No! Nothing like that! Where did you get that idea?”

She shrugs “Well, when me and Alex were at the park the other day and you two were watching us, we said that you both looked so happy you could be boyfriends. Then Alex started to pretend to gag which was funny.” Grace pauses, contemplating something “Papa?”

Bucky feels a little bit in shock but manages to squeak out a “Yeah?”

“If you and Alex’s dad make up, would that make Alex my brother? And Steve my other Dad?”

Bucky feels like he’s treading on eggshells, he feels like Grace could go one way or another “Yeah,” he says simply, trying to sound neutral.

“Cool!” Grace replies easily, slipping off the chair and heading to her room “you better make up with him, I like both of them. And you haven’t smiled since you picked me up, at least, not one of those smiles that make your eyes all sparkly,”

Bucky watches her go, astounded.

“That’s my daughter,” he whispers to himself “That’s. My. Daughter. My 10 – going on 11 year-old daughter,”

Smiling to himself he remembers what his genius daughter had recommended and he smiles a little less, the idea of facing Steve, after how hurt he had looked. Talking to Steve seemed fine on the surface, but it made Bucky feel like his legs were going to give out.

Bucky gives himself a day to get his head into gear and think about what he wants to say to Steve, how he might phrase things.

It’s late the next night and Bucky’s walking back to his apartment after Grace asked to stay over at a friends house for the night to work on a project. After a little consideration, Bucky agreed, and the mom of the friend assured Bucky that they’d work on the project and then be in bed by a reasonable time in separate rooms so that neither kept the other awake.

The weather is atrocious as Bucky is walking back home; the rain is lashing down onto the road, the streetlights highlighting the sheets of water falling from above.

The rain is so loud that Bucky can’t hear the traffic going past and his fringe is plastered to the front of his forehead, he swears it couldn’t have got this bad in the time he went into Grace’s friends house and came back out again. But here he is, wet to the bone and shivering like a leaf. Stepping out into the road to get to his building.

Beeeeeeeep!

Bucky nearly jumps out of his skin, and he angrily gestures at the man in the driving seat.

“Watch where you’re going you dumb son of a bitch you coulda---!“

The door opens and Bucky has to admit a little bit of pee comes out, because the build of the guy who’s stepping out looks like he goes to the gym every day. That is until the man steps forward and the light illuminates his face.

“Hey, man, don’t gesture at me! I’m not the jerk who stepped out into the road without looki--,” the man stops, now getting a closer look “Bucky?”

It’s Steve, out of all the people Bucky could bump into in New York in the middle of a howling gale, and it’s Steve. And, god, his eyes look raw and his cheeks are pink, or at least Bucky thinks they are, the mixture of florescent yellow and white making it difficult to see shades of colour in the darkness.

“Jeez, Steve, you look terrible,” Bucky says before he can stop himself.

Steve looks wounded “Well you aren’t exactly looking like a model yourself, Barnes,” he spits back.

There’s silence for a few seconds, and the rain becomes a little obsolete. The two of them look at each other, both lost for words, that is until Bucky takes it upon himself to say something.

“I’m – I’m sorry for what I did. You didn’t get the wrong idea. I just, I didn’t know what to do,” he says, the rainwater trickling down his face making it difficult to speak properly “I do like you Steve, and it feels like I’ve known you forever, but it’s been years since I’ve considered having a relationship, so when you touched my hand it was like being 16 again and I panicked.”

Steve looks a little relieved “What?”

Bucky wipes his eyes and clears them of rain, in the streetlight, Steve looks positively angelic; the way that the droplets catch in his hair and how his t-shirt sticks to his shoulders. His eyes wide and innocent, Bucky’s heart breaks a little and accountability weighs heavy on his shoulders. He suddenly realises how cold he is and shiver runs over his body, the streets are clear, the visibility is shocking, and Bucky gestures to the car.

“Can we talk in there? I think body parts are going to drop off soon if I get any colder,” he asks, rubbing his hands to show his cold fingers.

Steve nods and gestures towards the passenger side of the car. They both climb in and Steve turns on the heat, Bucky groans at the warmth spreading through his chest, but his fingers and toes burn, their circulation beginning to regulate like normal.

“When Grace’s mother died, I never wanted another relationship. I didn’t want anyone else. I thought that she was the only one for me and I loved her – love her – so much,” Bucky starts “and then last week I met you, and for the first time in ten years I liked you, and I wanted you to be a part of my life. But then I remembered my wife and that if she could see me whether she would want me to be alone so I could invest all my time in Grace, or if she would be okay with me moving on.” Bucky gives Steve a small smile “And then Tony sat me down and I realised that Nat wouldn’t have wanted me to be alone. I can split my time but I can’t let someone like you pass me by. When you put your hand on mine, I craved it so much and I hated scaring you away. And Grace wanted me to apologise because she likes the idea of Alex being her brother,”

At the last sentence, Steve’s eyes well up a little “She said that?”

Bucky nods.

There’s a feeling in the air, and Steve takes a leap. “Can I kiss you?”

Bucky nods again, a huge smile on his face.

Bucky manages to get the door to his apartment open after an interesting journey up to his floor, all the while, his lips being constantly attached to Steve’s. It had caused several disparaging looks from his fellow neighbours, but fuck them.

They practically fall into the living space and manage to stop kissing long enough for them both to catch their breath; Bucky looks hungrily at Steve, pupils blown, neither say a word. Steve walks over to Bucky and cups his face in his hands, pulling them together, reconnecting their lips, pressing them together so they’re pressed closely from head to toes.

Bucky finds making out with Steve one of his new favourite things to do, but they’ve only got a limited amount of time until morning, and he’d rather have Steve beneath him, clutching at the sheets as he rides him than come in his jeans like a teenager. He breaks the kiss and pushes his palms against Steve’s chest (holy shit, he could feel the muscles under his shirt).

“Let’s move this to the bedroom, yeah?” Bucky manages to pant quietly.

Steve nods, kissing his lightly on the cheek, Bucky offers his hand and Steve takes it, allowing himself to be lead to Bucky’s bedroom.

As soon as they’re inside Bucky pushes Steve onto the bed, crawling up to straddle him and capturing his lips again, pushing their hips together, creating a friction that makes them both groan into the kiss.

“Get these fucking pants off,” Bucky says, tugging at Steve’s jeans pulling them down and then off, following suit with his own jeans. They both pull off their own shirts and Bucky slinks back until he’s got his lap over Steve’s pushing their dicks together and making him throw his head back in beautiful gratification.

“Fuck, Stevie,” he moans, thrusting back down, Steve hissing at the contact in pleasure.

“Buck, stop, I don’t want to come like this,” Steve manages to choke out, putting a hand on Bucky’s arm “I want to fuck you,”

Bucky’s stomach does flips, and Steve takes his silence as a bad omen. He quickly adds:

“You- you don’t have to, I mean - - it’s only if you want to, I can bo - -,”

Bucky leans down to kiss him, then nibbles at Steve’s lip as he pulls off “Shut up, Stevie, you jerk. Hell – fucking – yeah do I want you to fuck me into next week,”

Steve grins and then pulls Bucky back down, rolling them until Bucky is below him, pushing his hips down, making the other man cry out. Steve laughs and dives back down to kiss Bucky’s lips, swollen and pink, before fumbling around on the nightstand.

“Where the hell is your lube?” he says between the sounds of random unimportant shit falling to the floor.

Bucky sniggers “I don’t keep it in here, dummy, it’s in the bathroom, in the high cabinet.” Steve scrambles out of bed (butt naked) into the adjoining bathroom “Jeez, I don’t want that conversation with Grace…like…ever,”

Steve re-enters the room, victorious, lube in hand. Bucky gets onto his knees and crawls towards Steve, pulling him down onto the bed for another oxygen-depriving kiss.

“Fuck, Stevie, the things I wanna do to you,” he murmurs, tugging at Steve’s hair.

Steve practically growls and then pins Bucky down, the man below letting out a laugh as he receives an onslaught of bites down his neck, then further down his chest, until Steve’s biting down softly on the inside of his thighs.

“Tease,” Bucky says, pouting, Steve just smiles broadly.

“You done this before?” he asks, suddenly making the mood take a serious tone, but then he blushes “not that I’m jealous- - I mean, if you have, that’s fine but if not you’ll -- -,”

“Steve, shut up. I’m no blushing virgin. Let’s just say I experimented in college, and leave it there,” Bucky cuts in gently “I know you’re not jealous, jeez, Steve,” he pauses and then there’s a mischievous twinkle in his eye “although I think it’d be interesting to see what you’d be like jealous. You’d bring me home after seeing a guy check me out for a little bit too long, we wouldn’t even make it to our bedroom, you’d just fuck me on the kitchen worktop and mark me so that everyone knows I’m yours,”

Steve bites a little harder at Bucky’s thigh and it makes the darker-haired man giggle “Now stop worrying, Rogers, my ass ain’t gonna fuck itself,”

Steve nuzzles down lower until he’s lapping at the most sensitive part of Bucky, turning the man into something less stable than Jell-O, he enjoys the taste and the way he can feel Bucky shuddering and whimpering above him. Finally, after enough teasing, Steve slicks up a finger and slowly pushes it into Bucky, the sensation of the heat and wetness around his digit making him harder than he already was.

“Another,” Bucky just about gasps out “please…”

Steve kisses Bucky’s hip and slicks up the second finger before sliding it home to join the first, Bucky’s so responsive, the way he pushes down and begs Steve is making the blonde-haired man feel a little light-headed. He repeats the process again, until he can easily stretch three fingers, giving it a little longer than necessary (he really doesn’t want to hurt Bucky) before looking around for the box of condoms he’d retrieved from the bathroom, but they’re no-where to be seen.

Steve’s confused “Buck, where did the condoms go?”

Bucky looks at Steve with hooded eyes, looking like he might fall asleep he’s so boneless and blissed out, he mumbles “We don’t need ‘em. I’m clean, you’re probably clean, all out respectable American like you doesn’t get STD’s. I want to feel you, no barriers between us. Please, Stevie,”

Steve feels a little unsure, but he knows he’s clean, and if Bucky is too, he has  no reason to lie to him, so he slicks himself up, pulls Bucky into a heated kiss and slowly pushes himself into Bucky, groaning at the way Bucky tightens around him.

“Jesus fuck, Bucky,” he moans, pulling out a little, only to push back in.

“Oh yeah, this is way better than college,” Bucky says, head falling back and hitting the pillow with a thump.

Steve bites his lip, trying not to come, imagining all of his worst memories, it’s embarrassing, blowing your load before you’ve thoroughly fucked the man beneath you.

“C’mon, Stevie, give it to me good,” Bucky taunts and Steve begins the thrust harder, the bed shaking with each movement.

Bucky sobs out a moan before egging Steve on “Look at you, giving it like a champ. Fuck me, Stevie, c’mon, harder,”

Steve let’s out a loud breath and tries to give more “Shut up, you little shit,” he hisses, pounding harder into Bucky.

Bucky cries out at the sensation, his mouth no longer available as Steve pushes harder and harder until Bucky can feel the precipice of climax, he manages to hold it for a few blissful seconds, eyes scrunched, colours bursting under his eyelids, but when Steve pushes his thumb to massage the head of Bucky’s cock, he explodes, cussing and shouting Steve’s name so that the entire apartment block knows who’s managing to give him the best damn orgasm he’s ever had having gay sex. Splattering jizz all over himself. (Steve will see Bucky’s neighbor the next morning coming out of her apartment and ride the elevator together, blushing when she says “Have a nice day, Steve,” when he never told her his name.)

Steve manages to hold it together for about six more seconds before he can’t handle the feeling of Bucky contracting around him, and spills into the man below, filling him with spunk, letting out a long groan as he does.

They don’t move, Steve manages to hold himself above Bucky on his forearms, peppering light kisses around his jaw.

“Jesus Christ, Stevie,” Bucky pants out, smiling dopily “that was fucking something else,”

Steve feels shattered and put back together again with frosting and he’s pretty sure if he moves too much he’s going to break something. “I can’t argue with that. That was something else,”

Bucky leans up to lay a lingering kiss on Steve’s lips “Thank you,” he says genuinely “stay,”

Steve nods, he was planning on staying even if he wasn’t welcome, he doesn’t trust his legs anymore “S’okay, and yeah, I think I will,”

Bucky gives him a dazzling smile and pats Steve on the chest, giving him a hint to shift his ass. As he does he feels come slowly dripping off his cock and when he looks down he sees that Bucky is leaking pretty damn heavily onto the sheets.

“Shit,” Steve mumbles, trying to find something to clean up with but Bucky doesn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah, shit, damn that’s hot. You’ve utterly ruined me, Rogers, all your fault I’m debauched and covered in come,” he jibes light-heartedly (or as light-heartedly as one can when they’ve been fully fucked out).

Steve smiles and shakes his head “You’re unbelievable, Buck, one of a kind,”

“That’s what they say, Stevie,” Bucky counters, poking Steve in the ribs “actually, it’s kinda drying now, maybe getting a flannel wouldn’t be too bad of an idea,”

Steve gets up on shaky legs and manages to get to the bathroom, hobbling back into the bedroom with a warm flannel before fully wiping Bucky down, making sure for no unpleasant-ness in the morning.

“You’re a doll, Steve,” Bucky mutters, voice thick with sleep, once they’re both clean and cuddled up in bed, he’s running his fingers through Steve’s short hair “whaddid I do to deserve you?”

Steve yawns and shrugs “I dunno, Buck, but I wonder what I did to get lucky finding you, too,”

The conversation ends – they’re both too tired to keep talking. But that doesn’t stop Bucky waking at the early hours of the morning and riding Steve in the low dawn light, both of them tired but rather than going fast and fucking each others brains out, they go slow, neither says a word and the only noises are small gasps and moans as Bucky pushes his hips down, sliding onto Steve’s cock, making the blonde grasp at the sheets. They fall asleep, tangled together, their hearts strong and beating for the other.

Morning comes far too quickly for either Bucky or Steve’s liking. The pair don’t need to worry about their kids, they’re being looked after by friends who both text them to say they’ve been dispatched at school and everything is okay. They forgo full on morning sex and casually jerk each other off under the sheets, holding a tissue to catch any mess. Bucky comes biting his lip, eyes open, trying not to miss Steve’s orgasm, and he’s glad he doesn’t because boy does that kid look angelic when he blows his top. The kiss and nip at exposed skin until eight thirty before they drag themselves out of bed and get dressed. Steve can’t find his underwear so Bucky lends him some. Neither of them are in a rush – Steve doesn’t need to be at the VA till eleven thirty and Bucky got Stark’s generous hours so he’s good till ten. They make breakfast (French toast) and each in companionable silence, sneaking glances at each other before sniggering and looking away – blushes rising on both of their cheeks.

Quarter to ten comes way too quickly and Bucky gets dressed and heads out, telling Steve to stay for as long as he likes, he even offers the TV, but Steve just presses a kiss to Bucky’s lips and smacks him lightly on the ass.

“Don’t worry about me, get that pretty ass out the door and do great,” he chides softly, straightening Bucky’s tie and flicking a piece of invisible lint off his shoulder.

Bucky reciprocates with the kiss “And here was me thinking you were a proper lil’ gentleman,” he laughs before kissing him one last time and leaving the apartment, skipping (although he would never admit it) to the elevator and heading to work.

Tony notices the spring in Bucky’s step and smirks knowingly.

“Either you’ve just realised the meaning of life or you got yourself a piece of ass last night.” He leers “more specifically, the most patriotic ass there is out there,”

Bucky gives Stark a sideways smile “And so what if I did?”

“Well, then I’d have to congratulate you on the renewed sex life, although, next time you bottom, tell Rogers not to ‘roger’ you as hard as he did last night. You’re walking like you’ve crapped yourself,”

Bucky’s face burns hot.

“Hey, no hard feelings, he’s a hell of a guy, just lay off the athletic sex for the weekend, you gotta be able to reach to the top shelf without wincing. Word has gotten around about you working here and we’ve had increased sales. The last thing we need is you strutting around like a rentboy in a well cut suit,” Tony adds before winking and leaving Bucky to finish off some suit trousers, completely mortified.

I’ve just been told off. Bucky punches out onto his phone before sending it to Steve.

A few minutes later a response chimes through.

Why?

Bucky feels a little playful retort coming forming in his mind.

Stark says that you’ve got to stop fucking me so good, apparently I’m walking like a prostitute banged six ways to Sunday.

Okay, a little white lie, but hey, Bucky’s still a little high on last night/ early morning fucking amazing sex.

There isn’t a response for about half an hour, and Bucky can’t help but feel a little disappointed, he keeps checking his phone in the meantime but there’s nothing. Until:

Oh, Barnes, I was being gentle last night. You wait, next time I have you to myself; I’m going to do things to you that are illegal in some countries.

Followed by a:

(Sorry for the late reply, my boss called me in for a chat. Xx)

Bucky’s tummy does little flips like one of those electric yappy dogs.

Holy shit he thinks I’m going to run out of spunk.

The rest of the day passes relatively quickly, Bucky and Steve text when they’ve got time, Tony peeks in and takes away a finished suit and then gives Bucky another job – but he doesn’t mind, he loves the choices of fabric and the colour palettes, it makes him feel like he’s home.

Bucky catches the subway again and picks Grace up from school, he sees Steve across the school yard and lifts his hand up in a small wave which is returned with a equally discreet wink. They catch the train home and talk about Grace’s night at her friends house working on their project.

“Urgh,” she moans childishly “we had to go to bed at 8 o clock. 8!! And we slept in separate bedrooms! I was promised a midnight feast, but when I went to go and check, everyone in the house was asleep!”

Bucky pretends to be scandalised when he’s grateful to the kids mom, he shoots off an appreciative text to her and thanks her for getting Grace to bed early and not letting the night turn into a riot.

When they get home they’re both shattered, they order in a Chinese takeaway and munch away in front of the TV. The time hits half nine and Bucky barters that if Grace washes her face and brushes her teeth now then she can stay up till ten watching a butterfly documentary (seriously, they’ll film anything nowadays).

Grace disappears into their bathroom via Bucky’s room and comes out a few seconds later.

“Papa?” she says innocently

Bucky turns round, about to talk when the air cuts off before it reaches his mouth.

 There, in his daughter’s hand, dangling off the end of a loofa, is a pair of foreign boxers.

“Why do these have the name tag “S. Rogers” sewn into the hem?” she giggles “did Alex’s dad stay over last night?” she laughs louder, almost shrieking at the idea “you (more giggles) kissed (hysterical snorting) Mr Rogers!”

Bucky’s mind adds ‘and more’ but he shakes that off and pulls the underwear off the shared loofa.

“Maybe,” he says, a little worried “would it be okay if he did?”

Grace milks the moment and puts on a ‘thinking face’ and Bucky feels a little reassured because she’s trying to scare him, not giving him a resounding no.

“Hmmmmmmm,” she says whilst Bucky tries to hide an amused smile “I guess…,” her voice grows louder “that sounds awesome!”

She runs up to her father and he pulls her into his arms, giving her a wet kiss on her cheek which makes the young girl giggle and wriggle in protest.

“Papa!” she squeals, kicking her legs and trying to hide her face from his lips.

Bucky can’t help but feel his heart nearly burst with happiness, the child in his arms, the man he spent the night before with, his consequential job: it all feels so ridiculously perfect.

They sit on the sofa and talk about the future, Bucky makes sure that they talk about the possibility of Steve moving in one day with Alex and Grace seems impossibly excited at the idea of having a brother who’s the same age as her.

Grace has a few questions which Bucky is calm and answers to the best possible way he can, soon it’s time for bed and the pair kiss goodnight and then head for their respective bedrooms. Bucky tries not to think about what had happened the night before on his bed, but he isn’t distracted by anything and his mind wanders back to fucking Steve, and soon he’s desperately jerking himself off, face in the pillow Steve used the night before, trying to muffle his moans before catching his orgasm in a clean tissue left on his nightstand from the morning.

He picks up his phone and sends a quick text to Steve:

Can’t sleep. Thinking about what you did to me last night.

Within a minute there’s a response:

Oh yeah? ;)

Bucky snickers to himself, Steve’s got the exterior of an angel and the mind of a delinquent.

Yeah. Just had to beat one out because I remembered the way you fucked me…

Steve: How quickly did you come?

Bucky takes a second to reply: Within two minutes of jerking off, I can still feel the way you moved inside me.

There’s no reply for about five minutes and then Bucky’s phone starts ringing, he fumbles, trying to answer it quickly.

“Hey,”

“Hey, Buck,” Steve sounds out of breath “I had to hear your voice,”

Bucky smiles “Oh yeah? Sounds like you’re sweet on me, Rogers,”

Steve chuckles “What if I am? S’it bad that I want to talk to you?”

“You sure that you only wanna talk? You sound a little busy to me,” Bucky says, hearing the rustle of clothes “you getting naked there, Stevie?”

Steve groans “I needed to get my pyjama pants off,”

“Why’s that?” Bucky asks innocently

“Jesus Christ, you fucking tease, talk like you were talking last night,” Steve bites out, Bucky can hear the sound of flesh on flesh, a hand pumping.

“You want me to tell you about how it felt last night for me to ride your dick? The way I slid down onto you and fucked you into the mattress? And how watching you below me was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen in my life? Is that it?” Bucky says, feeling a renewed interest in his pants.

“Yeah,” Steve breathes

“Well, next time I’m going to take my time, perhaps I’ll go down on you, tease you a little. Not let you come. And then I’d take my mouth off you and then trail down to your hole and fuck you with my tongue,” he continues, pressing a palm into his rapidly growing erection to try to relieve some of the pressure “I’d get you so wet and there’d be spit all over your ass, I know you look like a golden boy, but you like it hard and dirty,”

Steve groans and Bucky gives a dirty laugh “God, you sound like a pornstar, y’know that? You sound like you take cock for a living, the way you moan, Stevie, it should be illegal,”

Bucky can hear Steve ferociously tugging at himself and it’s one of the hottest things he’s ever done, listening to someone jerk off on the end of the phone. He pushes down his pyjamas and starts to work himself to a similar rhythm, licking his palm first to give himself a small amount of lubrication.

“Fuck, Stevie, I’m so hard and I’ve already come once tonight, I want you here, with me, so I can fuck you into the mattress properly,” Bucky manages to groan out, his fist moving faster and faster by the second “I wanna feel you come apart underneath me, and see your face when you come. You’re so beautiful when you come, Steve, come for me. Please. All over yourself, make a mess of yourself for me,”

He hears Steve let out a whine at the other end of the phone and he doesn’t need to ask what just happened, Bucky comes quickly after, biting his lip to stay quiet. Over the phone he hears Steve’s hand still moving slowly, milking himself, even in his over-stimulated state.

There’s a few seconds of just silence as they both lie for a little time, their breathing is the only thing that the other can hear.

“Wow,” Bucky hears Steve say quietly, he chuckles in agreement, he can hear Steve getting tissues and cleaning up, followed by the sound of clothes being pulled on.

“Y’telling me? That was pretty damn awesome,” Bucky lets out a long breath and smiles widely, doing the same.

“I wish I could kiss you,” Steve says quietly and Bucky feels a little pang of sadness, he want’s Steve to be there as much as the other man wants to be by his side.

“You’ll be able to, Stevie, we’ll meet tomorrow and you can kiss me ‘til my lips smart,”

Steve gives a short laugh “Sounds good, I’ll bring us lunch and we can eat it in the park next to the shop?”

“Sounds like a plan,”

Another beat of silence, just the sound of one another breathing.

“Stevie?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“I love you,”

“I love you too, jerk,”

Bucky’s heart flourishes with warmth and a wide smile settles onto his face.

“Good,”

There’s a knock on the other end of the phone and he hears Alex saying he’s had a bad dream; they bid each other goodnight and hang up.

Epilogue

Steve and Alex move in a few months later with Grace and Bucky, it takes them a little getting used to, but they all manage reasonably well; there is the occasional squabble for the bathroom in a morning, but they continue to move forward. Grace and Alex are a force to be reckoned with, they end up being lethal together when they’re both in a pranking mood and there are several times where both Steve and Bucky are on the receiving end of either whoopee cushions or bogus chewing gum packets.

Around the one year mark, Grace and Alex are going up to high school (Bucky has been dreading it with the cliques and the bitching that some students are capable of) and they both seem eager to go up to another school, especially now when they’ve got each other’s backs if something happens. On the anniversary of Bucky and Steve meeting for the first time, Sam takes the kids for the night and the pair have a romantic evening in which ends in Steve getting down on one knee and Bucky nearly using every cuss word under the sun.

(“Bucky- - ,” Steve starts

“ - - Holy shit - -,”

“will you do me the -- -,”

“ - - jesus fuck - -,”

“ - - honour - -,”

“- - fucking hell, Stevie - - ,”

“Will you shut the fuck up so I can propose to you like the way I’ve been imagining it?”

“…sorry…,”)

The plan the wedding to be near Christmas and for it to be small and only invite a small amount of people: close friends and some of Bucky’s family. The day turns out beautifully and Grace is a wonderful grooms-maid for Bucky, wearing an emerald satin dress, which makes her red hair look more stunning than usual. Alex is the ring-bearer, all dressed up in a suit Bucky had made for him (as well as his own and Steve’s). There’s a few tears (Bucky never thought he’d find anyone again, he’s allowed to weep a little) and when they kiss Sam whistles loudly and tries to cover the kids eyes in a joking way. The after party is a success and Steve meets Bucky’s long lost sister who he recently contacted to invite to the wedding. Her name’s Rebecca, and she has shoulder length chocolate orange hair and green eyes that are shaped exactly like Bucky’s, Steve can’t help but note how her smile is not to dissimilar to his new husband’s either.

The pair escape reasonably early from the party and give each other long, hungry looks between kisses in the elevator, finally making it to their suite only to find a basket of gifts that make Steve blush and Bucky roar with laughter.

‘Just making sure my boys have the wedding night they deserve.

Sam’

Inside the hamper-like basket is different flavor condoms, every variation of lube one person could imagine as well as tissues, edible body paint and (*cough*) garments (*cough*), wet wipes and a few different types of candy like sherbet, chocolates and red velvet bites (they’re marked ‘too keep up stamina’). Bucky swears Steve’s close to an aneurism but it doesn’t stop them from trying a large proportion of the gift.

They end up tangled in various layers of bed-sheets whispering things to one another and giving each other small kisses, their left hands, intertwined over Bucky’s heart. The last thing he hears before he falls into the most contented sleep he’s ever had is:

“I’m with you, Buck, ‘til the end of the line,” 

Fin