Chapter Text
“Uhhhh not now…” She mumbled sleepily. “Not yet…”
She rolled to her side and pulled the pillow over her head, trying to mask out the ruffle and rattle coming from somewhere nearby.
It didn’t help, at all. She laid there, the irritation growing inside her until –
She jolted up on the bed. “Okay, what on earth are you –-”
She stopped when she saw what looked like the entire contents of her wardrobe spread out all over her floor and The Doctor standing in the middle of it all, pulling one of Donna’s bright red shirts on. He turned around and grinned.
“Good morning!”
“Is that my shirt you’re wearing?”
“I’m assuming that's a rhetorical question.”
He glanced in the mirror, nodded and turned around to leave the room. “Okay, bye, gotta go, see you later!”
“DOCTOR!”
But he just smirked and rushed out.
She considered running after him, but decided against it and instead collapsed back on the bed, sighing grumpily.
No more sleeping for her this morning.
Fifteen minutes later she was in the kitchen, just about the take the first sip of her morning tea when she heard the opening of the TARDIS door, a brief, extremely loud roar and then a quick bang when the door was thrown closed again.
Soon, The Doctor rushed past her, panting. Donna opened her mouth, but before she had time to say anything, he said “Sorry, in a tad bit of a hurry” and disappeared into the hallway.
She rolled her eyes. It was too early for this anyway, so she settled for sitting down and spreading some butter on her toast.
Yet again, there was a loud bang, an “Ouch!” and soon The Doctor appeared to the kitchen door frame.
“You don’t have red pants, do you?”
“Nope.” She took a bite of her toast. “I guess it’s pointless to ask you what you need them for?”
“This is urgent, Donna. Don’t you have anything else red?”
She raised her eyebrow. “I have a red dress. And tights.”
“PERFECT!” And he rushed back only to turn around and reappear in the door.
“Where are they?”
“I’m sure at this point you know better, seeing as you’ve taken to rearrange my entire wardrobe.”
“Right.”
And he rushed away.
She had just finished her breakfast and was about to start loading the dishes in when he rushed past her wearing the dress, stopping at the other door.
“How do I look?”
She took a look at him. It was a simple red dress with a ribbon in the waist and it looked absolutely ridiculous combined with the bright red tights.
“Get some filling in that bony alien body of yours and it will look absolutely dashing.”
He squinted his eyes at her and then rushed away again.
When she was in her room, starting to unbutton her pajamas to get dressed, he ran in once more, quite out of breath this time.
“Oi! Watch out!” She yelped, hastily rebuttoning the pajama shirt.
“Shoes. “ He panted. “I need shoes.”
“Only if you tell me what’s going on!”
“You know how there’s this species of bees in Australia that try to pollinate beer bottles?”
She stared at him for a long while. “No, I absolutely don’t.”
“Well, the point of it is really, that in their entire evolution there has never been anything remotely the same color as this flower that they pollinate, the same species of flower they have pollinated for a million years Donna. And then, suddenly, a new species came up, these wonderful creatures called Homo Deus, and they evolved and made this brand of beer, and went out on a picnic and tossed the beer bottle somewhere on the grass, and this beer bottle happened to be the exact same color as this flower. So what did the bees do?”
“They made love to the beer bottles?”
“They made love to the beer bottles.”
“And this has to do with you wearing my dress because…?”
“Because we are on a planet in a far away Galaxy on the edges of the Universe and it has never in its history been visited by aliens before and they are a humanoid species that happen to have bright red skin in the places of the body where we wear clothes. And shoes, apparently. I forgot shoes!”
“And you are seriously thinking you wearing red will make you the perfect undercover agent and they will have no idea that it’s a flippin’ alien?”
“Yep.”
“You are insane.”
“Yep.”
“But how can you know?”
“Because I’ve tested it with you and other humans several times.”
“You have not!!!”
He smirked. “There have been so many aliens who you just read as humans because in your evolution you haven’t acquired the skills to separate all alien species. In this chaotic rush of stimuli that’s called reality your brain only picks up the things it has learned to understand in order to survive.”
“That is absolutely terrifying.”
“Yep. Now, shoes!”
“My only red shoes are stilettos.”
“That’ll do.”
“Your feet must be like three sizes bigger than mine!”
Except they weren’t. She got out the stilettos and somehow they fit to his feet.
“Can you walk in these?”
“Absolutely!” He took a step and almost fell over and she had to catch him, laughing.
“How about I just do this thing you’re doing?”
“Nope, too dangerous. The atmosphere is extremely toxic for humans.”
She sighed. “What is it you’re doing?”
“Oh the usual, saving them from alien invaders.”
“But you said they’ve never seen an alien species in their life!”
“Exactly! Let’s keep it that way!”
He flashed a huge grin, turned around, and once again hurried out of the room.
“Doctor, wait!”
He stopped and turned around at the door frame. “Yes?”
“You look very pretty.”
He smirked, blew a kiss to her direction, and runned out to save yet another planet from malicious aliens.