Chapter Text
There was a time, not so long ago when Clarke Griffin would have been hiding from the current situation within the nooks and crannies of the fallen Ark station. A time when her past sins and triumphs were too high a wall for anyone to climb over offer her help. A time when she would have seen the this day’s events as just another twist into the deepening darkness.
But that time was done.
As she stared through the narrow windows to the medical room as her Mother worked on a newly returned Thelonius Jaha, she chewed nervously on her cheek, fighting against that first instinct to retreat back into the shell that becoming Wanheda had made her.
It helped that Bellamy was by her side. It was also slightly annoying because he kept asking her questions about what Abby was doing.
“Is he just dehydrated?” He asked, his arms crossed tightly in his guard’s jacket.
“No, I mean, yes,” Clarke said, sighing, “he said he came from the desert so that’s got to be a part of it but Abby wouldn’t look so worried if he just needed an IV and a nap.”
“What do you think he meant by the nuclear reactors melting down?”
“I think he meant the nuclear reactors were melting down,” Clarke replied shortly, wincing as her tooth went through the soft flesh of her cheek.
“Clarke, I’m just trying to be prepared for what’s coming, he was talking about some lady in a red dress-”
“Bellamy I don’t know!” She bit out, glaring at Bellamy’s equally frustrated expression, “all we can do is wait for my mom to get him stabilized and take it from there. If you haven’t noticed I don’t have a geiger counter on me and I’m pretty sure a lady in a red dress would stand out around here, don’t you?” She squared off with him, itching to push back the curls that had fallen into his eyes.
He held her challenge a moment longer, before sighing and raising his arms to clasp behind his head. Again, with the arms, Clarke thought, the anger slipping away from her and the nervousness returning.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his gaze now locked back on the med bay windows, “It’s still hard to see him and not think about, how I,”
“Shot him in the stomach?” Clarke supplied, loving the small quirk to his lips.
“Yes,” he groaned, running his fingers down his face, “maybe I shouldn’t be here when he wakes up.”
Clarke walked up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind, “scared of the guy on the gurney? Want me to get Miller to back you up?” She teased, trying to ease the tension that thrummed through them both.
His hands clasped over hers on his stomach, and for a moment she closed her eyes, listening to his heartbeats. She did this sometimes, when it felt like she was slipping back into the darkness. The steady beats reminded her that there were still many consequences of her actions she was grateful for.
“It was nice to feel like we could live for awhile,” he said finally. Clarke rested her forehead against his spine. “We started building those cabins on the far side, Monty has plans for a second greenhouse, you’ve planned out a mural for the 100-”
“Bellamy,” Clarke said her arms breaking their hold as she walked around him, standing in front of the windows, forcing his dark gaze down to her. She saw the frantic movements of his eyes, the pain of believing that the little bit of peace they may have earned in blood was threatened, again. “Stop it. We don’t know enough to be worried. Right now, I’m just hoping that I can keep Well’s dad alive. And I’m finishing that stupid mural. Okay?”
He squeezed his eyes shut, and she reached up smoothing the creased wrinkles in his forehead smooth. He opened them back up, and she could see some softness returning to them, as he slipped a bit of her hair, currently dyed a dark brown through his own fingers. She was still slightly undercover even behind the gates of Arkadia.
The spell was broken a moment later with the sound of the med bay doors opening behind them, Abby walking through as she snapped off the gloves she had been wearing. Clarke’s heart rate slowed as she saw no traces of blood on them.
“Clarke, you don’t need to wait, he’s going to be out for awhile,” Abby said brusquely, turning her head over her shoulder as Jackson dismissed the other med techs, pulling the blankets up to a sleeping Jaha’s chin.
“How is he?” Clarke asked, stepping in front of her as she moved to walk past her daughter. Abby frowned, eyeing her critically.
“He’s dehydrated, has abrasions and sun burns across most of his body, and from the little he was talking about it would seem he’s also been hallucinating. I’ve know idea how he made it to the gates unassisted,” she grumbled, her hands curling into fists and resting on her hips.
“What else did he say before you sedated him?” Clarke pressed, ignoring the thin line of her mother’s mouth.
“He’s hallucinating Clarke,” Abby said shortly, “don’t go making this into something it isn’t, I don’t want you stirring up-”
“Trouble?” Clarke bit out, “don’t want to get the population itchy about words like ‘radiation’? Boy that sounds familiar.”
Abby sucked in a breath, and Clarke knew she’d gone too far. They’d been getting along so much better lately, but there were still pockets of space they couldn’t always breach. Her part in Jake’s death being one of them.
She was about to try to cobble together an apology when Abby took a step in close to her. “Clarke,” she said softly, “my friend is hurt, a man I’ve known my entire life. Please let me take care of him before asking me to dig into his mind. I imagine you’d want the same courtesy extended to your hundred.”
Clarke sighed, “fine, okay, let me know if you need help,” she reached out, placing a hand on her mother’s arm, “really mom, I’m glad he’s alive.”
Her mother’s eyes softened, and she nodded looking over to Bellamy behind her, “your shift started an hour ago,” she said it a clipped voice, turning away from them both and heading back to her office to continue her work, knowing Jackson would get her the moment Jaha awoke.
Clarke turned back to Bellamy, trying to smile but feeling the anxiety well up in her. She was hoping for answers right away, that’s why she had tried to stay calm. She had an uneasy feeling that sedating Jaha was more for the mother’s benefit than his. The man had raced into camp from unknown places for a reason, and Jaha liked to hold an audience more than anything.
“I’m still waiting to feel reassured,” he said sourly.
“Yeah,” Clarke sighed, “me too.” She rolled her neck slowly, feeling the snaps as the same tension she’d try to talk Bellamy out of only moments ago now stiffened her. She looked again at the sleeping Thelonius through the window, biting her lower lip.
She’d gotten lazy these last few months. No quick thinking needed besides running interference between Raven and Murphy when one of their arguments spiraled out of control, or deftly negotiating behind the scenes with Roan for Azgeda furs for the incoming winter. Fall was on its way, quicker than anyone would be ready for. The trees were already changing, brilliant hues dotting the view outside the gates that made her itch to paint. Colors she’d ignored the first time around.
“Do you remember what we would do when we needed answers?” She asked, feeling Bellamy’s large frame settle behind her.
“Raven,” they said in unison, walking out of the med bay doors, side by side. The pungent taste of trouble on the horizon.
****
“Raven!” Bellamy knocked loudly, five times on the door to the mechanic’s shop. He wasn’t about to open this door again unless he got a very clear ‘you may enter’ from inside. Raven and Murphy’s relationship since coming back from Azgeda had been, interesting to say the least. They were either fighting or screwing on any given day. There seemed to be no in-between lately, and, since neither one of them was given to talking about their feelings, it had begun making nights around the fire a little tedious for everyone.
He and Clarke had finally found their peace bringing an equilibrium to the remaining hundred. Just in time for Raven and Murphy to tip the see-saw back off balance.
“Murphy was in the bar,” Clarke said helpfully beside him, “we passed him on the way over remember?”
“Yeah, I’m not risking it,” he said shortly.
Clarke rolled her eyes at him but he got a small smile from her before the door whipped open and a very frazzled Raven Reyes greeted them.
“What!” She asked, her lips pursed in a scowl. Bellamy lifted his eyebrows in surprise, Raven normally saved such looks of derision for Murphy. He liked being one of her favorites. Seemed like his time was up.
“Ummm,” he said, momentarily forgetting why they’d come over here.
“Ummmm,” she mocked, rolling her eyes so hard he thought she must have seen ponytail, “What? You two lose your last functioning brain cells staring deep into each other’s souls?”
“Fuck off Raven,” Clarke said breezily stepping forward and forcing Raven to open the door to them, “we need to talk, put your game face on.”
Bellamy watched her walk in then slowly met Raven’s glare back at him, “did you hear about Jaha?” he asked, stepping in more cautiously than she had, Raven’s temper liable to unleash at anyone these days.
“Our fallen Chancellor has returned from the desert,” Raven said slamming the door behind them and meeting them at the table. “He going to live?”
“Yeah, my Mom fixed him up, he’s sleeping now,” Clarke said, messing with some of the scrap metal on the table.
Raven snorted, “figures, someone like Jaha gets nine lives well the rest of us can barely keep this one going. Only cockroaches like you and Murphy manage to do so well.”
“He said some, concerning stuff before going under,” Clarke said ignoring the bite in Raven’s tone. Bellamy could feel himself grinding his teeth. It pissed him off when Raven took her ire out on Clarke. Trying to talk to Clarke about it hadn’t worked, she’d brushed off his concern.
“Yeah, Miller said he was looking for some lady in a red dress,” Raven said, “so rude, that’s my color.”
“I’ll tell him to shoot on site,” Bellamy said helpfully, glad that she couldn’t hide the smile that pulled at her lips.
She sighed, settling into one of the high top chairs and plucking the tools Clarke had been idly playing with out of her hands, “so, what’s the actual problem?”
“It could be nothing,” Clarke said hesitantly, “but Abby has that look on her face, like before when my dad was hiding the news about the oxygen problem on the Ark.”
“Tragic, Griffin, but I’m going to need more to go on.” Raven said shortly.
He watched Clarke purse her lips together, the hurt at Raven’s sharp tongue quickly masked by apparent indifference.
“Can you tell us if radiation levels have gone up?” She asked quietly instead of taking the bait.
Bellamy could tell it was enough of an unexpected turn to the conversation that Raven let go of whatever shitty attitude she’d found a home in.
“What exactly did you hear Jaha say?” Raven asked.
“When he came in, he said the thing about a woman in a red dress, but he also was raving about nuclear reactors,” Bellamy said, pulling Raven’s attention away from Clarke for a moment. “It could be the ravings of a mad man, or-”
“Or, he saw something out there,” Clarke said, pulling the muddy brown color of her hair back behind her ear. “There’s still so much we don’t know about the ground Raven, but what we do know is how to test for problems that the Grounders wouldn’t think to anymore.”
Raven narrowed her eyes at them, folding her arms across her chest. “You’re worried about radiation levels? Are there any other signs besides Jaha behind a general shit show?”
“No,” Clarke said cautiously, “just, a feeling,” she glanced over at him quickly and he knew without her saying anything that she could sense it. Things were too calm, the world seemed to be holding its breath.
Raven looked back and forth between them for a moment, her expression unreadable to him as she slowly traced burns and cuts in the wood table her fingers. “I’ll need to get into command quarters, that’s where they’d be storing the monitoring equipment,” she said finally.
“Abby and Kane have been locking us out of a lot of the higher up stuff lately,” Bellamy said slowly, “we’d have to create a distraction, get a door open, buy you some time.”
“Yeah, and I’d have to be pretty amazing to hack the mainframe and rewrite the code to search for radiation levels in the time you get,” Raven said, this time a real smile playing at her lips.
“It’s a good thing my mom’s all super into trusting me now since I’ve started bathing on a regular schedule and talking to people,” Clarke said glibly.
“So, what are we waiting for?” Raven asked, walking over to a mess of blankets that was her bed, pulling her red jacket from the covers.
“We’ll need Monty and Miller,” Bellamy said, swiping the extra lock picking set from the top shelf, “Harper can cover for both of them with Miller’s dad. Clarke, can you go delay Abby?”
“Sure, we’ll bond over mother daughter things,” Clarke said sarcastically, “anyone know what that is?”
“I think it involves selling your stuffed animal for alcohol rations,” Raven supplied.
“No,” Bellamy interjected, “mothers and daughters sew quietly with no talking because that could bring unwanted noise and attention, and then death” he said, trying to keep a straight face at Clarke’s eye roll.
“Perfect, that’s super helpful. Should I bring up the dead dad thing too and really cap it all off you psychopaths?” She retorted, the follow up insults muffled as he pulled her into his chest for a hug as Raven barked out a short laugh walking out the door ahead of them.
“You killed Wanheda, this will be a cinch,” he whispered into Clarke’s ear.
She turned her face up to him, still resting her chin on his chest, “go be you,” she said softly.
He put a finger beneath her chin, tugging the brown hair down with his other hand and capturing her lips quickly. They kept changing her hair color in an attempt to hide her, to keep the odd traveler or trader from thinking that the blonde Skaikru woman awfully resembled the prior Commander of Death. But no matter what color her hair was, those blue eyes are what captured him every time. He would often think to himself that he couldn’t believe anyone wouldn’t recognize her the moment they saw her eyes. They gave her away, they had seen too much.
“Go be you,” he returned, loosening his hold on her, trying to puzzle out the expression in her face. “What is it? You can’t be worried about this little thing. Even if we get caught the worst that can happen is I get laid off guard duties for a month and have to do laundry. I’m great at laundry,” he teased.
She smiled, but it was hollow. “Odd, that we look forward to this, breaking the rules, subverting authority.”
“We’re a bunch of criminals Clarke, are you really that surprised?”
“No,” she said softly, “just,” she hesitated, “If something is wrong, with the leftover reactors, how bad do you think it is? How bad could it get?”
“If something is wrong, we’ll figure it out Clarke,” he said, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt.
“Some things can’t be figured out Bellamy,” she said, pulling away from him, the space between them feeling finite. “They can’t be stopped or solved or tricked. And there are only so many radiation sickness pills in the store room.”
He took a breath, the air suddenly feeling heavy on his lungs. Clarke wasn’t crying. She didn’t look scared. She was always willing to see the hard truth. But he couldn’t, not quite yet.
“Have some faith Clarke,” he replied, and that was when he saw the flicker of fear cross the blue.
***
“We don’t need Murphy for this,” Raven gritted out her tall ponytail swinging back and forth with her steps, “I think it’s a little early to incite a rebellion.”
Bellamy shortened his stride to keep pace with her after Clarke had turned back to do her part for the little delinquent mission, corralling and keeping Kane and Abby away from the mainframe room. Her disquieting words shoved into the part of his brain where he kept the things he didn’t know how to deal with yet.
“I didn’t bring him up,” Bellamy said cautiously, “but if there’s trouble to get into you know he’ll sniff it out in-”
“Raven!” Murphy barked striding past the farmers on the northwest greenhouses, a sheepish looking Monty trailing after him.
“Dammit Monty, I knew I should have used the other channel,” Raven groused under her breath, stopping short and folding her arms across her chest. Bellamy looked to his right, towards the guard towers where he could just make out Miller climbing down from the top tower, and the slight figure of Harper waving slightly from the bird’s nest.
“He’s quick in a bind,” Bellamy muttered to her, “can you two please just chill out for an hour so we can get this done?”
“Fuck off Blake,” Raven replied, “I don’t recall you being the type of guy wanting to talk about feelings, right?” She turned to him raising an eyebrow and he could feel the flush spread across his cheeks, a memory slipping past him.
He pressed his lips together. Keeping his mouth shut was generally his go-to move with Reyes these days. Murphy and Monty reached them a moment later as he tried to arrange his limbs in a casual stance.
“Hey Bell,” Monty said, the eagerness written all over his face, “what’s up?”
“You feeling like doing a little hacking?” Raven asked brightly ignoring Murphy who shifted on his feet next to him, the man’s hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“Absolutely,” Monty replied, nodding as Miller finally met up with him, “any particular reason why?”
“Clarke thinks we’re all going to die of radiation,” Raven said brightly.
“Easy Raven,” Bellamy groaned, running his hands over his face. She shrugged. “Listen, Jaha came in pretty messed up and Abby won’t give us a straight answer. I think we’re all tired of being treated like kids around here when we’ve been the one saving everyone’s asses since they landed.”
“We’re risking getting shock lashed because the King and the Princess don’t like getting ignored?” Murphy said, tilting his chin up.
“Sounds better than staring at the tree line for four more hours,” Miller said as noncommittal as ever. “What’s the plan?”
“Get the guards to the mainframe room out of way long enough for Monty and Raven to do their magic, and it would be great to not get caught,” he said shortly.
“Your motivational speeches are really taking a downward turn since you and Clarke started actually hooking up instead of just looking anguished at each other,” Murphy said, then turned and started toward the main wreckage of the Ark, “must be nice.” He tossed over his shoulder as Bellamy could literally feel Raven’s eye roll reach the atmosphere.
“What’s the rule Monty?” She asked tersely as the four of them followed behind the slight man.
Monty sighed, “don’t answer your radio around Murphy,” he replied, “but I don’t know when you’re mad at him Raven, you need to schedule these things better.”
“Just bank on him always being a fucking cockroach and a coward,” Raven said darkly, stomping into the mossing underfooting harder than she intended and wincing.
“Can we just focus on what we need to do?” Bellamy asked, exasperated at this point, they were nearing the Ark opening now, the mainframe room three doors down on the right, two guards posted outside of it.
Miller knocked into his arm, “at least one part of this is easy,” he said, as Bellamy recognized the guards at the front, Casey and Camden. They were junior guards, likely reassigned here after the more senior cadets were brought into the fence line, looking for Jaha’s woman in red.
“Why is this lucky?” He asked, bewildered. Neither of them were part of the hundred, they survived when the Ark fell, part of Alpha station in fact.
“Well they have huge crushes on us,” Miller replied like the fact was obvious, “Casey has been trying to get on my guard rotation for weeks, and haven’t you noticed Camden following you around?”
Bellamy took a step back, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, and don’t you have that switched around?”
“No,” Miller shrugged, “but flirting is flirting. We’ll just be in Raven’s way in there, let’s take them to the bar.”
He snuck another glance towards the two teenagers, both of them snapped their faces front, skin coloring red. “Can you two get a move on?” Raven hissed. Monty was pretending to be very interested in a few weeds growing next to the metal hull. Murphy was just plain staring at Raven, his expression insolent.
“Let’s go,” Bellamy said, pushing Miller forward a bit as they both pasted smiles on their faces. He should feel bad about the demerits the kids would get for ditching their post, but he was starting to feel like this place could use a few more delinquents. Afterall, their numbers were dwindling.
***
Raven watched Bellamy and Miller chat with the young guards for a few moments. She could tell they were hesitant, but after a few minutes the curiosity won out. She knew they were telling them that there was no reason to guard the doors, that it was just scut work. What grounder would even know what to do with the machines in that room? Soon enough they were gone, and Monty and Raven started forward.
She turned sharply into Murphy as he made to follow them, pressing her hand into his chest. “We’re good Murphy,” she said.
“Good,” he replied, “I’ll just keep watch.”
“Not necessary,” she gritted out.
He stared at her impassively, “it’s also not necessary to stop speaking to me for three days but you’ve certainly got that covered.”
She took her hand off his chest, realizing how long she’d been holding it there, “fine. Stand outside, what do I care.”
She turned back and strode up to the door as quickly as she was able, shaking her head to clear her mind. Monty had entered the code sequence into the door panel, it slid open with a hiss.
They looked back and forth down the corridor, slipping into the room when the coast was clear. She tried not to meet Murphy’s eyes as it slid shut behind her.
In a moment the constant noise of the ark died away, the sound proofing and cooling mechanisms doing their job.
“Raven?” Monty said, “you okay?”
She looked over at her friend, trying to rearrange all the feelings tearing through her. She wasn’t, but she could pretend.
“Yeah, Monty, I’m fine. Why don’t you start looking for a geiger counter, I’m going to get into the old Ark database. I’m sure there are files around the existing nuclear plants,” she said tightening the ponytail on her head and sitting down in the old chair.
For awhile Raven worked to the sound of Monty hunting through storage bins and files, while she zipped past one firewall after another. Finally, “ha!” she said, the thrill of another seemingly impossible task beaten coursing through her, “here we go Green.”
Monty abandoned his search and came over to look over her shoulder, “damn, could have used you when I was altering Jasper’s organic chem scores.”
“You’re kidding right? You nerds aced everything,” Raven said laughing a bit as she clicked through a few promising files.
“That was the problem, Monty said, “no one believed we weren’t cheating. Got tired of detentions we didn’t earn.”
“So you decided to grow weed in the farm station to really earn it?” She inquired, looking over her shoulder at the dark hair falling in his face.
“Like you’re not an overachiever,” he said back, his eyes lighting up at something on the screen and she turned back to it.
“Check that out,” he said, “Station Reports, 2064.”
She opened the file, a stream of data running past their eyes. “Looks like a list of the nuclear power plants capable of sending missiles before the bombs went off. Say hello to the reason we exist Monty.”
“Can you place the coordinates on a map?” He asked, his brow furrowed.
She did as she was asked, importing the coordinates of all active plants onto a globe of the Earth. “Okay,” he said next, “now pull in current weather data.”
She paused, “what?”
He looked down at her, confused at her bewilderment, “Raven, the Ark can still talk to the Go-Sci ring.” Then the realization dawned on her.
“Which means it’s still collecting data from the satellites,” she said, “we know it can’t track radiation levels, they wouldn't have needed to send you guys down here blind if it did, but maybe we can get a sense of what’s happening out there. This will take a bit, keep looking-”
The doors slid open and they tensed, but it was just Murphy stepping through.
“Jesus Murphy,” Raven growled snapping her head back and slamming her fingers a little rougher on the keyboard, “some look-out you are.”
“Turns out I seem shifty when I’m standing around,” he said sullenly. “Can you lock the door from in here?”
“Just did,” she said, the seal clicking into place behind him, “can’t believe I didn’t do that before,” she muttered.
“Come on Murphy,” Monty said, “we’re looking for geiger counters, I don’t have any spare plutonium to build them. They should be in a lead case.”
Rare to form Murphy just nodded quietly, handing Monty a flashlight as they moved further into the room. Raven kept her eyes on the screen, passing through more security files until she was into the Go-Sci network. “It’s linking,” she spoke quietly, turning to look at Monty and Murphy as they came toward her, at least this time Monty had the sought for dial in his hands.
“Murphy found it,” he said.
“Nifty,” she replied, ignoring the huff behind her.
The ding from the computer saved them from another fight. Instead, all three sucked in a breath at the screen before them.
“Is that a hurricane covering all of Europe?” Monty asked faintly behind her.
“Is there a matching one in Asia?” Murphy replied warily.
Her heart thudded desperately as she scaled the map out and in, zeroing in on the continents before zooming back out to hover over the eastern seaboard of North America. “I’ve never saw weather patterns like that when we were in space,” Monty said.
“That’s not weather Monty,” she said. Murphy laid a hand on her shoulder, and for the first time in weeks it felt comforting instead of suffocating, “that’s fall out.”
She swiveled the chair around, Murphy’s hand falling down to his side as she turned to face them. “Turn it on.”
Monty took a deep breath, rolling his thumb over the counter dial. They watched the dots light up, as the small filter sucked in the air around them. It hummed slowly, the small machine groaning as though the task was a nuisance.
The hand pushed through the green portion of the counter steadily, sliding into yellow quickly. “That’s not news,” Monty said hopefully. “Kane told me they checked when they landed, it’s been in the yellow for decades but that’s fine for the grounders and anyone that grew up with solar radiation like us.”
The dial slowed once it hit yellow, jerking now as it ticked upwards through the middle of the counter, they waited for it to stop. And waited. And waited.
“Fuck,” they said in unison.
***
“Abby, we need to tell David Miller something besides ‘woman in a red dress’” Kane said, his hands running through the mane of greying hair.
“Well, I’m sorry but Thelonious needs rest right now,” Abby said crossly, focused on the large amount of papers in front of her. Clarke watched her eyes shift up to her, before looking back down at desk.
Clarke knew she wanted to say more, but wouldn’t, not with her daughter here. Luckily Kane was already arguing with Abby when she’d walked into the office. It only took a few intentioned questions about Jaha’s health to get him going again about waking the man up. Eating up the minutes her friends needed as she glanced at her Father’s watch.
“Enough,” Abby said angrily, “Clarke, where’s Raven? She was due here fifteen minutes ago. I need to go over some schematics with her.”
“Schematics?” Clarke replied dumbly, this time it wasn’t an act.
“Yes, we never did a full review of the hull and I’d like to make it as airtight as possible before the next season,” Abby said, “too many cases of frostbite last year.”
Clarke tilted her head, smelling the lie, “I thought Azgeda just sent down that crate of furs. Shouldn’t be a problem this year.”
“We won’t be relying on Azgeda generosity for our people’s health,” Abby bit out, “I would think you of all people would have had enough of it.”
“Abby, we need those trade alliances now more than ever,” Kane said harshly, the supplies are going to be critical before-”
He cut off suddenly, his fingers curling into his fists. Clarke looked at both of them feeling a painful bit of deja vu, “winter?” She supplied into the sickening void.
“Yes,” Abby said sharply, her eyes warning Kane from continuing, “Clarke, not that I don’t want to spend time with you but,”
“But the adults are talking?” Clarke asked quietly as Kane and Abby turned toward her, a united front.
“That’s not-” Abby started forward, shaking her head.
“Not what mom?” Clarke asked incredulously, standing up from the couch. “You trust me enough to negotiate peace for Arkadia but not to tell me what’s going on now? You’ve been treating my people like their nuisances for months now. Locking us out of council meetings you were once begging Bellamy and I to be on, shutting us out of conversations we should be in. Why is Bellamy doing scut work? Why is Monty just another farmer instead of in the agro rooms figuring out why the corn came up sick? I know why I’m useless, I’m dead after all, but don’t think we don’t see what you’re doing.”
“Clarke, that’s not at all what’s going on,” Kane said gently.
She narrowed her eyes, “what are you afraid of? It’s great when we’re saving your asses but don’t act like you’re in charge? Think Arkadia might want a different Chancellor?”
“Clarke!” Abby yelled, slamming her hands down on the desk, “that’s enough, you and Bellamy,” she stopped, her lips thinning into a line, and for the first time Clarke thought her mother looked old.
“Me and Bellamy what?” Clarke crossed her arms, not even caring that the time she needed to keep them in this room was up, she was starting to get somewhere.
“They are not your people Clarke,” she said softly. Clarke felt that one pierce her heart. “You are simply one of the people now, and you need to learn your place.” Clarke looked away from her then, staring out the one small window to the yard as Abby tried a gentler tone.
“Listen, you and Bellamy did amazing things, hard things to lead when there was no one else, when Kane and I didn’t understand how this world worked, but that time is done now. You are not in charge. I’ve told you this before and you’ve ignored it, but I need you to listen. You need to let us take care of things so we can-”
“Lie to Arkadia?”
Clarke whipped her head around, meeting Bellamy’s eyes which were blazing with anger. He walked into the office, sliding his hand into Clarke’s as Raven, Monty, Miller and Murphy followed in behind. The latter closing the door and locking it. The room suddenly felt much too small.
“What is this?” Kane asked angrily.
Clarke ignored him, searching Bellamy’s face. What she saw made her heart drop, her mouth go dry. Behind the anger in his words, was fear.
“How bad?” She asked Raven, ignoring her mother’s irate noise.
The mechanic looked shell-shocked, “bad,” she said shakily, “it’s not just a meltdown of a few reactors. All of Europe and Asia are in a wave, like a hurricane, the radiation levels are already elevated here, the only reason we haven’t had any visible sickness is probably because-”
“Enough!” Abby shouted over her. Clarke whipped her head back at her mom, saw the wide eyes and shaking hands.
“You knew,” Clarke whispered.” Abby and Kane stared at each other, “say something!” She screamed, Abby flinching with the anger that laced her words.
Raven started forward, saying what Abby could not. “There’s a wave of radiation circling over two continents right now, we have a very small window to stop the nearest stations from us doing the same, how could you keep this information from us?” She moved in close to Abby, forcing the Chancellor to meet her eyes.
“You didn’t need to know,” she said softly, “we have a plan, Jaha was, is” she covered quickly, “a part of it. We’re trying to stop a panic.”
“I’ve heard that excuse before,” Clarke said harshly. Her Father’s watch felt heavy on her wrist. “Going to throw me in solitary again Kane?”
The graying man shook his head wearily, “Abby, just tell them. They obviously know enough to be dangerous. At least give them context.”
The Chancellor shook her head angrily, mouth pursed into a thin line, arms crossed over her body as though she could staunch the wound of these revelations.
“I told you Abby, she stopped being a child the moment you sent her to the ground to die, you’re not protecting her, you’re not protecting any of us by trying to cover up the truth,” Raven said, turning away from the Chancellor and standing next to Clarke. With Raven’s shoulder on one side of her, and Bellamy’s frame covering her back, his hand still woven into hers she looked back at Abby silently.
She didn’t know what Raven was talking about, but she appreciated hearing her say it. Her mother seemed to be at war with herself, and for a moment Clarke could see what she must have looked like up on the Ark, telling herself that sentencing her husband to death was the right choice.
“This is your do-over Mom,” Clarke said softly, and when Abby met her eyes there was moisture in them. She sighed, leaning back against the desk, her hands curled around the edge.
“The nuclear plants were all up to code before the bombs dropped,” she began, “two hundred years containment policy. They didn’t have the technology before then to keep it quiet for any longer than that. When the bombs were released the process went into effect like it was supposed to for the stations that weren’t damaged. The council on the ark knew it could be a problem, but we had no way of telling how many stations would go active again, how many didn’t implode in the first round.”
“You knew this would happen?” Monty said in disgust.
Abby made a sound in the back of her throat, “you want to be treated like members of the council? Put yourself in our place. We didn’t intend to send anyone down there until after that 200 year-mark, to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem. But then suddenly we didn’t have that luxury, did we? So we gambled. Now this is something that has to be dealt with.”
“How bad is it?” Clarke asked, watching Abby’s eyes cut over to Raven as she spoke.
“Like Raven said, Europe and Asia are already lost, and radiation levels are rising across the globe.”
“Well it’s not like I was hoping to grab a beer at the local pub or walk across the Great Wall of China” Murphy said from the back. “If the stations closer to North America haven’t popped it means they went with the first round, right? We’re good?”
“Were you not listening at all,” Raven asked harshly, “that radiation cloud is swirling, and the weather patterns are all off. It’s going to come our way eventually, destroying the ecosystems, which means no food, not to mention that levels will rise higher than we can take. We’ll all get sick, we’ll die from it.”
Clarke bowed her head, her hand tightening in Bellamy’s. “And,” Raven continued, “just because the stations close to us haven’t blown, doesn’t mean they won’t.”
“Guess we don’t need to work on our diplomacy,” Murphy said darkly, “so,” he clasped his hands together, “it’s either incineration or slow starvation. What thrilling and familiar options.”
Clarke took slow, even breaths through her nose, putting the puzzle pieces together as her family erupted in shouts. They’d sent Jaha out for a reason. They’d been getting the Ark airtight, not just for winter, but for a nuclear winter. They were keeping trade routes open, storing up supplies.
“You’re building another Ark,” she said softly, her words cutting through the din. Abby hadn’t joined into the fray, had been staring down at her feet instead. She looked up wearily at Clarke and nodded. Clarke knew what came next, “Mom, how many can last in here? How many are you planning on saving?”
She watched her take an uneven breath, somehow knew what the answer would be.
“A hundred Clarke, we can save a hundred.”