Chapter Text
For as long as Minhyun could remember, he could always hear a voice calling to him from the other side of his dreams.
He thinks it’s terribly unfair, most soulmates meet in their dreams and could actually see each other, talk to each other. Spend time with one another while they slept.
But Minhyun knows the world isn’t fair and from his blurry memories, he can faintly hear his soulmate calling to him.
Don’t let go of me.
He’s tried everything to even catch a glimpse of the other’s face, Minhyun sleeps every second he can; sometimes in class or quickly eating his lunch in five minutes because he spent the former portion sleeping in the courtyard.
Sighing since it’s no longer summer and he can no longer sleep the days away, he takes a look at his new classmates.
He doesn’t bother making friends with the people around him, they’re all too busy with each other. They’re the exact opposite of him, eager to make new friends in their new school year. Minhyun doesn’t have anyone like that, he’s too busy sleeping to converse with others and form friendships.
But he’s okay with that, he’s been alone for years; not needing anyone else.
Or perhaps he was just waiting for a particular person.
He rests his head on the little tray table, closing his eyes hoping to block out all the voices and sleep a little. Despite the chatter and unlikely setting, Minhyun has always been able to fall asleep quickly and today was no different.
As he’s pulled into his dream, that voice gets clearer and clearer.
Don’t let go of me. I—
“Hey.” Someone gently taps his shoulders waking Minhyun.
Quickly standing up he’s ready to let his fist come in contact with whoever’s face that just woke him up. Just when he was finally about to hear a new sentence from his soulmate.
He stops short when his eyes meet the offending person. He notices that he’s a little bit shorter than him, and very handsome. He’s also smiling warmly at Minhyun and the smile melts away his anger and he no longer feels like punching his handsome face.
“Is someone sitting here?” He points to the seat next to Minhyun and his smile widens some more when Minhyun shakes his head.
Minhyun sits down again and lays his head for the second time, hoping that he can enter his dream again where he left off.
His hopes are quickly dashed when he hears a voice from the right saying, “My name is Jisung, what’s yours?”
Frustrated that this Jisung can’t leave him alone, he sits up and gives a curt reply. “Minhyun.”
His reply seems to satisfy Jisung as he faces forward and begins to hum to himself.
But it’s strange, right when he saw the other, Jisung seemed familiar to him.
| | | | |
Jisung comes and sits with Minhyun every lecture they have together, even going as far as to forcing Minhyun to join his group. He only ever does his part and then immediately goes to sleep.
It’s strange, while Minhyun can’t see his soulmate, it’s undeniable that they’re almost attainable when he’s sleeping around Jisung. The brightness dims and the fog lifts just a bit.
He agonizes the entire lecture, barely paying attention to his professor. Thinking how he could possibly ask Jisung to take a nap with him, when he hasn’t exactly been the friendliest.
He’s too busy thinking to realize that class is over and Jisung has packed up and made his way to the exit, hurriedly shoving his laptop in his bag, he runs and makes it to Jisung just outside of the building. “Jisung!”
Turning at the sound of his name, he looks slightly surprised to see it was Minhyun that called out to him.
“I was wondering if you could take a nap with me.” He holds his breath and looks towards the ground, hoping that Jisung won’t think he’s strange and refuse his request.
“On one condition, you say that you want to sleep with me so I can at least misunderstand for one second.” Once Minhyun looks up he can see the grin on Jisung’s face.
| | |
It becomes their thing for about a month, Minhyun and Jisung go to the secluded wooded area behind campus. Minhyun going right to sleep and Jisung ends up doing homework or playing games.
It’s after the second month that Minhyun stops going to sleep. His dreams never get any clearer but he’s much more interested in Jisung at this point.
Minhyun stares up at the clouds, asking, “Aren’t you curious about your soulmate?”
Jisung hums, looking up from his book. “What’s there to be curious about? I’ve searched and searched, but I can’t see them. In the end, I’m only left with darkness and cold memories.”
Feeling a pit grow in his stomach, Minhyun feels guilty.
Even though he couldn’t see his soulmate, they’re still there but Jisung is left with no hope and no chance of seeing his.
Minhyun lets Jisung know that they no longer need to meet up in the courtyard, pretending like he doesn’t see the way Jisung’s frown deepen. Instead, he asks to hang out like regular friends do.
Jisung’s smile widens, completely erasing his frown and Minhyun’s heart skips just a beat.
| | | | |
They decide to move in an apartment together in their third year, Jisung has had enough commuting and Minhyun has had enough with terrible roommates.
It’s the day before school starts, they’re finally fully moved in and Jisung is insistent on cooking dinner after they’ve done nothing but eat out for the last week.
“Is he your soulmate? You two are lucky to have found each other so young!”
An innocent question, but it stops Minhyun in his tracks.
Jisung doesn’t deny it, but he doesn’t say anything either; only paying and thanking her for the discount she’s given.
Minhyun had forgotten what his soulmate occasionally told him. Don’t let go of me. With this, Minhyun realizes that he’s stopped looking for his soulmate. He no longer obsessively sleeps, instead spending that time with Jisung.
It scares Minhyun, and he wonders, when did Jisung become more important than his soulmate?
| | |
They leave the apartment together, but no longer does Minhyun spend every moment with Jisung. He feints excuses that Minhyun knows he sees through, but Minhyun also knows that Jisung won’t say anything.
He manages to keep it up for a week, longer than he expected, but still not enough time for him to think what he should say to Jisung.
Jisung corners him in his room, not even knocking. “Are you avoiding me?”
There it is.
Minhyun hates confrontation but he feels like he at least owes Jisung the truth in the end.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m pushing you out, turning away.” Running a hand through his hair, he fakes a smile. “Pushing you out from my memories and turning back on our friendship. But because of your thick scent in my head, I’m endlessly and endlessly in pain again!”
He’s shouting by the end, gulping in breaths of air and looking at the ground. He clenches his fists and digs his nails into the flesh. “Finding my soulmate has always been most important to me, and you’re not mine.”
Minhyun’s a coward.
He can’t bear being around Jisung for any longer for fear he’s just going to fall even deeper for the other boy. He wanted to end things between them before he started drowning in this counterfeit love.
He’s willing his body to leave now, to follow the misty outline of his soulmate instead. Yet his heart won’t give up. Falling in love with a boy he couldn’t claim as his own.
“I’m sorry I’m not your soulmate,” Jisung starts, and Minhyun is still too spineless to look at his face. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t enough.”