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Rey and Ben’s apartment was filled with chaotic laughter this morning. The incredibly tall man scurried around with one shoe, trying to find the rest of his paperwork for his proposal at work. Rey couldn’t help but giggle as she helped. She was to blame for making him late anyway, offering some much needed morning “fun time” to help with his stress. Her buns were in disarray as she weaved around their dining table, flipping through miscellaneous papers scattered about, looking for anything that resembled a proposal. What did a proposal look like anyway? Rey didn’t know much about office work, as that was Ben’s area of expertise. His black button down and fancy watch gave that away, while her dirty nails and faded denim overalls proved her love of getting down and dirty in her auto shop. She couldn’t help but glance at her boyfriend and her heart always beat a little harder, a little faster whenever she did.
His dark mop of hair that tickled her when they cuddled, his strong arms that held her whenever she needed a hug, but nothing could compare by how much he understood her. She had lost count of how many times Ben understood her without her needing to say anything. When she wanted to be alone, he would go off and do his own thing for the day. When she needed help but was too stubborn to admit it, he would leave trails, clues and hints for her to “discover” so that she could feel accomplished in her own way. When she had nightmares of the orphanage and would wake up gasping and unable to speak, he would kiss her until the words stuck in her throat melted into breathless sighs of love…
She loved him.
God, did she love him.
She had known that for weeks now, and enjoyed hearing the word in her head, just to herself. But now, beneath that voice in her head was the fear that it was not reciprocated. They knew so much about one another, things she hadn’t even told Finn, Poe or Rose. But had he felt as sure as she had? What if she hadn’t even scratched the surface with him? Would he run away if she said it too soon? He wouldn’t actually run, would he? Her thoughts broke when she heard him curse after hitting his shoulder against the bathroom door.
“Did you leave it by the printer?” She yelled across their home.
“I dun fink so!” Ben replied, hastily brushing his teeth while tying the other shoe he had luckily found in the hallway.
Rey sighed and scratched her head, making her way to the kitchen. Her fuzzy socks kept her feet warm against the cool tile. As she reached for the coffee pot, her eyes caught a small stack of paper under Ben’s jacket. She gasped and lifted the jacket, revealing a stapled, hole punched, perfectly bound (of course he would bind it) booklet. In big, bolded letters, a title: “Proposal: Solo Corporation, 2020.”
“I found it!” She cheered.
“Oh thank god!” Ben appeared running into the kitchen. Rey held out the proposal for him, but cried out happily when instead she felt his arms lift her by her waist as he spun her around.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He continued before finally setting her down, kissing her forehead. The butterflies in Rey’s tummy fluttered while she tried to stop the room spinning around her.
Ben glanced at his watch, “Okay, if I hurry, I think I can make it!”
He threw on his jacket, and placed his proposal and laptop in his messenger bag before slipping it over his broad shoulders.
He patted his pockets, “Okay, keys, check. Phone, check.”
“Kiss?” Rey asked innocently. He gave a knowing smirk before leaning over her for a quick peck.
“Check.”
“Now get going!”
“Okay! I’ll text you how the meeting goes!”
“Okay.”
“And let me know what you wanna do for dinner!” He swung the door open in a hurry.
“Okay!” She smiled through her annoyance.
“I’ll see you soon! I love you!”
And just like that, the door shut, and he was gone…
Rey was frozen in her spot. A wave of chills went down her head to her toes that not even her fuzzy socks could warm. Her heart began to beat so hard that she could hear the blood pumping in her ears.
He just said it..
He just said it!
“Wha-…uh…” She couldn’t speak.
The apartment was so silent, so… different than it was a few moments ago. Rey couldn’t move, still in shock, repeating the scene in her head a million times. The morning sun began to fill the kitchen with warmth. The rays upon her back filled her with hope, nervousness, and love. Hope for what the future could hold in store for them. Nervousness for the way he said it, if he really meant it. Love for everything and anything she is, and wanting to give it all to him. This feeling that her heart no longer belongs to her, but to him.
All because of three words that poured from Ben’s lips.
Reality caught up to Rey as she silently began to clean the kitchen, remembering to sit down with Ben tonight to ask about the “L” word.
That is until, she heard heavy footsteps hurrying down the hall and…
THUD!
Rey jumped at the sound of the door slamming against the wall. She spun to see Ben, hair all over the place, his shirt untucked, messenger bag hanging around his neck, panting with a look of fear in his eyes.
“What are you-“ Rey began.
Ben blurted out, “I got to the lobby when I realized what just happened…what I just said.”
Rey slowly made her way around the kitchen island, Ben still standing in the doorway, trying to come up with an excuse, but it just came out as rambles.
“I tried to make it to the elevator but the doors were closed and I couldn’t wait so I had to haul ass up those fucking stairs!” He rushed out his sentence before taking a deep inhale, trying to catch his breath.
Rey covered her mouth, trying to stop the chuckle at the sight of her winded boyfriend who just ran up nine flights of stairs.
“And, and now…I just-you see. I meant it, but you don’t have to say it if you’re not ready! That..I totally understand. I just wanted to tell you, because…it’s not something I say often. But if you…if you do - or don’t which is fine - I…shit.” Ben had given up of his embarrassing ramble and hung his head in defeat. He must’ve looked like an idiot, rambling about the “L” word in front of the one person he wanted to hear it. He wanted to tell her when he thought she was ready, but he still didn’t know if she felt the same way. To him, she was so confident, brave, kind, outgoing and so friendly. Ben never thought she needed him and much as he needed her, let alone loved him. He felt goosebumps as he heard her footsteps get closer.
“Rey, I’m so sorry if this is awkward for you. I just had to say it because that was what I felt, and feel now..If you want, we can talk about it when I get back fr-“
“I love you too.”
Ben’s head perked up at the sound, the sweet, sweet sound that came from Reys mouth. It sounded better than he had ever imagined. Her voice was so calming, he wanted her to say it again.
He watched as she inched her way closer to him, her cheeks flushed and red. They stood before each other, just gazing.
“I love you.” He whispered.
“I love you.” She replied. He closed his eyes in wonder. He could die happy right there, hearing those words come from her.
Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, almost like she had to feel the vibrations of his throat as he said it, over and over again. He wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling the living being of his love. Her warm skin, her hair smelled like cinnamon and hearing it whispered in his ears was enough for him to know just how much he was loved in return.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
The proposal was a distant memory. The coffee pot forgotten. The only thing either of them focused on, were the soft spoken words between ears and lips of how much they loved each other.