Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Everything happens too fast in this world. One moment, he could be blowing out the candle and resting his head for the night, and the next he’s running down the street late for work, late for his only means of funding his Sister’s comfort in life.
He’s always working for her, always working so he can put food in her hands and keep her kimono in good condition as they live their days in and out of borrowed rooms. Ever since they lost their family it had been like this, day after day for years, each week a new job, each month a new town. They wandered now with no place to go home to, nothing but ash, rubble and the mounds in the dirt that he still mourns.
Nezuko hadn’t said a word since the day it happened, but that was okay. They still managed to communicate, they’ve learned a few hand signs together to help her get her points across. He hoped that one day she’d find her voice again, but for the time being he was content just being lucky enough to have her at his side, hand in hand, and her smile small but always present for him. Although, her eyes had long since lost their usual light...he hoped that beautiful shine would return too.
They returned to the region near where their home once stood. He managed to land a job there now that he was older, a real job that could really last him a long time if he was diligent. It was a bakery, small, with a friendly owner, that offered him extra bread before he would leave for the day. He was lucky. He felt so incredibly fortunate and blessed that he would be able to provide for his younger sister for real. They could start again, they could find a purpose in this place if he managed to save up enough.
They were on their way to the bakery one morning when things took a turn for the worse.
She clung to the back of his checkered haori as he walked at a steady pace, his excitement to receive the biggest payment he’d ever earned to date overtaking him. He promised her that with this money he would buy her a delicious dinner because it’s what she deserved, it’s what he’d been working so hard for. She looked content, her smile reaching her eyes and the cold morning air tickling her cheeks pink. They weren’t as round as they used to be; she’d grown out of her baby fat long ago and now presented herself with a more slender, feminine face beneath her long dark lashes. She really was a beautiful woman. He hoped, with their chances of finally staying rooted in a place without worrying about leaving, that she could find someone that would make her happy. Someone who would find her beautiful inside and out and provide for her and give her a family again.
It’s just, things happened much too fast sometimes. It was a shame what an extra minute spent within the bakery could do, how it could turn his life completely off its axis and ruin it all just like that.
He’d gone inside to pick up his payment, but he was stopped before leaving so his boss could hand him another extra loaf of bread. He was so thankful, he really was, though he couldn’t help but ask why –he wasn’t even on shift that day. He was merely given a pat on the shoulder and a promise to see him next time, yet that was enough for him to understand. It was simply out of the owner's generosity and good nature. He was just looking out for him. For both of them.
Tanjirou was overjoyed. For the first time in what seemed like forever, things were finally setting into place.
Until they weren’t.
The moment he stepped back outside, everything came crashing down on him at the sight of his younger sister, barely at the age of twenty, lying on the ground unconscious. He dropped everything: his bread, his money, his heart, as his body lurched forward and cried for her in frantic panic.
“Nezuko!” He shouted her name, pleaded for her to open her eyes but the girl didn’t respond. His heart raced, anxiety skyrocketing as he shook her shoulders in desperation. There were people on the streets, too many people walking by without a second glance, too many scents clouding his senses. He could barely focus as his eyes darted between her and the boots and heels and zōri that walked by. His voice felt hoarse and he didn’t realize he’d been screaming at strangers all around him until he noticed.
His hands were shaking as they hovered above her still body.
It was happening again. Again he was going to lose his family.
But why? How ?
“Right over here, Tomioka.” The voice behind him was familiar: the bakery owner in a flurry, leading someone to his side. “Please. They’re good kids.”
Beside him, a man with dark hair knelt with a surprisingly calm demeanor and he reached forward to turn Nezuko’s body over. He examined her closely, checked her vitals and moved around her to lean forward and listen to her breathing and Tanjirou sat back in shock, suddenly unable to move at all.
The stranger noticed something after what must have been seconds but felt like hours of agony to him. He plucked something off of Nezuko’s waist, just below her checkered obi, and he held it up at eye level.
Tanjirou’s heart must have stopped because he was sure everything in his body shut down all at once.
It was a tiny cylinder capsule with a needle attached.
Did that mean Nezuko was targeted ?
“We need to take her to my colleague’s clinic.” The man spoke in a quiet voice but it was serious enough to bring him out of his paralyzed state. “She’s a master at treating toxins.”
The word toxin was enough to make his blood run cold; the word clinic only being an afterthought to his stress. He was nowhere near capable of being able to afford treatment like this, but he had to at least try. If he ended up being indebted to this Toxin Master for the rest of his life, he would gladly pay the price to save his Sister’s. So without further hesitation, Tanjirou gathered Nezuko up into his arms and he lifted her from the ground with a newfound determination to get her somewhere safe. She was heavy, dead weight in his arms and it made him feel sick to his stomach and scared of losing another piece of his family but he followed the man with the red haori until they reached a building labeled as the Butterfly Clinic.
They parted ways at the threshold, the man bowing and wishing him the best of luck. Tanjirou thanked him about a hundred times he thinks. At least, he wished he could have before being ushered into the entryway so he didn’t waste any more time.
There was a girl there, with black pigtails and large sapphire blue eyes. She sprung to her feet with urgency the very second their gazes met–she must have sensed how dire the situation was and hurried to his side. She pulled him into another room quickly, and had him lay Nezuko onto a cot that smelled of fresh cotton and as she left to go fetch the Doctor, his knees buckled and brought him down to the bedside. He reached out and took her hand and he squeezed it as if it could help her, as if he could save her with just his hands, just his praying heart.
Please , he thought to whatever god that was willing to listen. Please don’t take her too.
He kept it up, the insistent wishing for her safety. Through meeting the owner of the clinic–a young woman named Shinobu–through being guided out of the room and all throughout his wait for her final verdict.
The sun had set by the time she came out into the waiting room. It took everything he had just to raise his head and meet her gaze. Her dark eyes, purple and distant, looked solemn alongside her subtle frown. "I've concluded my analysis. Would you like to come sit with me in my office?"
"I‐Is she okay?"
Her small lips spread in a gentle manner, and that one single motion was enough to ease the tension in his shoulders. "She's okay..." Although, there was a definite but lingering on the end of that, it was clear in her tone, in the way her eyes betrayed the relieving turn of her smile. "Come sit with me."
He was scared, but he willed himself to stand and follow her into another room. Within, there were a few desks, books piled on top of each other wherever he looked, vials and assorted pieces of pharmaceutical equipment on the shelves. The pigtailed girl from before was there, handing him a cup as Shinobu sat down. It felt heavy in his hand, like he didn't have the strength to carry it, so he placed his other hand beneath it as he slowly lowered into the chair in front of her.
"I examined where she was struck and found a few symptoms related to a poison I'm familiar with, so I took a few blood samples to confirm, and lucky enough, I was correct."
Tanjirou couldn't help but frown. The implied however at the tip of her tongue continued to make itself clear and while he felt a slight bit of relief come over him, it was still overwhelmed by the feeling of dread at her hint of bad news.
Shinobu could clearly sense his unease by the way her posture straightened and her fingers curled into a fist upon the surface of her desk. He was sure she was used to it, though. If she was so skilled at spotting out poisonous toxins with the naked eye, that meant she obviously had experience. Not only with breaking bad news, but also hearts too.
"There's a plant called the Kizuki Root...it sprouts large blossoms that can be broken down and used as a harmful toxin to the human body." She turned in her chair as she explained this, opened up a drawer and started looking through a file of papers. As she bent over to look, he finally noticed another body in the room: a man sitting at another desk, wearing a dark suit and leaning over a journal as he wrote. "It's a quick acting poison but it's easy to keep under control with proper care." Her soft voice brought his gaze back to her as she leaned back again and placed a file on the desk. Her expression fell though, her eyebrows pinched together above the bridge of her nose and ah, there it was: The ' but' and the ' however' she had hinted at before. "Unfortunately...it acts as its own antidote but we are out of stock. I won't be able to cure her completely until more of it is gathered."
Oh what inconvenient timing...to be out of stock of the only thing that could save his sister's life.
He had to remind himself how to breathe, lest he pass out where he sat in that cold and suffocating room.
"Don't worry, I can keep the toxin at bay for now." Shinobu rolled her chair closer to him and reached a hand out to delicately place it over his own. It was still wrapped around the cup he had been given before, the water inside untouched and forgotten. "The rest is all up to your sister and how strong her will to live is. It might be painful for her, but it will buy time for us to wait for supplies to get shipped in."
Nezuko had always been strong. She was a fighter through and through, he knew that much. She'd toughed out the passing of their father–something he could barely do himself. She was younger than him, but her support was grounding and it meant everything to him that she kept up a strong front in his time of need. She had even survived the very flames that stole the rest of their family from them. Their home too. She came out without her voice, but she got back on her feet and kept up with his urgent pace to assure their lives would not be ruined for good.
If Nezuko could do that much...then maybe there was a silver lining.
"...how long?"
Shinobu leaned back again, her chair rocking and its spine groaning with the sudden movement. "That depends on how long it takes for my contacts to find it. It's only found in one place, and fortunately I have someone there, but...it's quite rare as it is. It might take a while—"
"I'll go."
He said it before he could even discuss the idea with himself, but he wasn't all that surprised by his own actions. It was firm and straight to the point, and while he was terrified of what was to come because of this mess, he knew that he must do something. Nezuko was fighting now with all her might, so he would too.
"I'll go wherever you need me. I want to help find it."
The way she smiled at him after that, it made him think that perhaps she expected him to volunteer. She looked a little proud but also a little sad. Though she didn't make any comment on it, but instead reached for the file she had pulled out before and slid it closer in order to open it. Inside was revealed to be what looked like a map but not the sort one would find when trying to look at the whole world. She held it out to him and brought her finger down on the page, pointing to what he recognized to be Japan.
"This is a map that shows where I get all my supplies for medicines..." She then explained, sliding her finger across the page until eventually, she was pointing at a much smaller island. "This is where the Kizuki Root grows. There's a small community living here right along the coast. Explorers and Researchers pass through here quite often since it's quite an interesting island, one of the many wonders of this world I think." She offered him the map then and he finally pried a hand away from the cup so he could take it. "When I'm not traveling myself, I have a few contacts out there who come back and forth."
"...so it will be there?"
"That's the idea." She grabbed a small piece of paper and a fountain pen from the corner of her desk in order to write something down and when she handed it to him, he noticed that it was a set of directions. "Giyuu Tomioka is in town. Aoi said he was the one who brought you here."
Right...the man with the cold blue eyes and the seemingly indifferent expression on his face. He had been in the bakery at the time Nezuko collapsed...
"Yeah he...he really saved us."
"For once he proves himself useful." Shinobu smiled to herself smugly with that but Tanjirou failed to find what was so amusing. Was it an attempt to lighten the mood or was she actually insulting this Tomioka person? It was hard to tell. "He stopped in to drop some things off for me so he'll most likely be disembarking in the morning. If you leave tonight, you can ship off with him."
He allowed himself to feel relief again. His tight grip on the cup slackened and he released a long shaky breath. "Okay...how do I know when I find it?" He then asked, voice a bit smaller than he would have liked. "What does it look like?"
Shinobu turned to flip through the files again, only this time producing a small photograph of the flower in question. It's long, thick petals were a vibrant wisteria purple with yellow spots akin to spider eyes and the stamen were like thin red wires, hanging from all angles from one center point. Tanjirou perked up in his seat at the sight of it, mesmerized by the details and bright colors it possessed. He and Nezuko had grown up in a poor home, the only photograph they owned being in black and white, so to see this was almost awe inspiring.
"You can take this with you to help you confirm its identity ...however that might still prove to be difficult." Despite her consistent smiling, she looked a little uneasy, possibly at the idea of him bringing home the wrong specimen. He wanted to tell her not to worry, but then again, there were so many flowers in the world, he couldn't make a promise like that with confidence. There was no assurance that he would pluck the correct flower from the Earth in his haste. "I would go with you, but I need to stay here to watch over your sister..." Though she paused and thought about it a little more. "...I could try to bring her out too. It would take a bit longer to get her ready for transport, but—"
"How about I go?"
Tanjirou jumped with a start while Shinobu merely peered over her shoulder. The man he noticed before had finally pulled away from the work on his desk, revealing himself to them for the first time. He had dark hair, short and wavy, and eyes so deeply red that it had Tanjirou's nerves standing on end. His presence was, for some reason, intimidating, and it didn't help that Shinobu's expression had hardened–smile and all–when he walked over to stand beside her chair.
"Pardon my eavesdropping, but I couldn't help but feel a little bit inspired by the actions of a good brother."
She was silent for a moment, looking at him as if there was an unspoken tension between them, but he merely smiled kindly at her until her attention turned back to Tanjirou. "This is Muzan," She then sighed out, giving up on whatever conflict she had in her mind. Her smile spread a little more but it didn't look right, as if she was applying a mask to her face and hiding how she really felt. "He's been assisting my family and this clinic for a few years now. He's seen the flower before so he could help you identify it. He’s worked with the elixir before as well, so he could whip it up on site and deliver it ahead of time.”
Tanjirou looked up at the man, this Muzan person who wanted to aid in his search, and he offered a meek smile. If he was someone who helped out around here–and for years too–then he couldn't be so bad...
"Your sister is very lucky to have you," The man spoke in a strange voice, sweet and alluring, but something about it felt off, just like Shinobu's expression.
He wanted to blame it on the gravity of the situation and the stress that pressed down on him as he sat, isolated in that chair. People were around him, talking to him, looking at him, but without Nezuko he felt so alone and scared. He had to remind himself to stay strong for her. He was her big brother after all, and he was determined to get passed this, even if it meant working with a man that gave him strange vibes.
Small hands wrapped around his own, this time so that Shinobu could take the shaking cup away and set it down on a stable surface. She put her hands back to hold onto his then and leaned forward into his space; closer now, where he could see the fine lashes above her violet eyes, and the tiny wrinkle in the space between her thin eyebrows. She looked a little sad for him, but also genuine and sincere as she whispered, "I will take good care of your sister while you're gone," and his eyes erupted in a fit of tears without warning.
He felt overwhelmed by the emotions flowing through him. He'd been so scared and lost, then practically paralyzed with fear. Sitting there in that chair, in that cold office with his shaking hands held firmly in the warm grasp of a stranger, he finally felt relief, though it was overcome with an unbearable concern much too quickly. Nezuko could only hold out for so long after all, and if he left, there was no telling he would make it back in time to help her. They'd already lost the rest of their family, so who's to say that, since she was slowly dying from the poison running through her veins, she wouldn't want to let go and reunite with their parents and siblings? To see them again– maybe she'd find her voice in the afterlife. Maybe she'd find the piece of herself that's been missing since their Father passed.
The tears did not stop, not for a long while, as if his body had been waiting for the perfect moment to finally let it all out. Shinobu stayed by his side the entire time, running her hand in a comforting motion across his back while Muzan left to gather what supplies he would need for the journey. He might have cried more at the feeling of her fingers massaging the knots in his shoulder, since for a brief second, it reminded him of his mother and how much he missed her maternal warmth. He’d been trying so hard for so long, to be someone Nezuko could rely on, that he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d weeped with all of himself like this.
It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to her.
He was given a moment with her in private, and fell to his knees like they’d been carrying too much weight for much too long. He didn’t want it to be a goodbye or any sort of farewell for that matter, but it would have to be given the circumstances that had fallen upon them. His hand was still shaking when he brushed her damp hair away from her face, and he could see the difference in her, the clammy, pale skin where she was once rosey and soft. Though, while looking like she was on the brink of death, her expression was eerily peaceful, as if it was another night of dreaming sweet things while resting beside him.
He released a shaky breath as he leaned in close and pressed his lips to her temple. They lingered there for a long while, as he willed himself not to break again, and then he whispered to her, right in her ear, that if the pain ever got too unbearable, he wouldn't want her to suffer. But if she can...to hold out until he gets back. It would be impossible to tell if she heard him, but he had faith that somewhere deep down in her consciousness, she was reprimanding him for being so pessimistic, and that gave him enough hope to finally leave the room with one last look at his sibling, one last silent goodbye, so he could step out and move forward.
“I hope to hear from you once you arrive.”
“Yes, yes. I’ll send word as soon as I can.”
Shinobu and Muzan were talking next to a vehicle parked outside, which had Tanjirou hesitant at first. He’d seen a car before, but never up close, and he certainly hadn’t ever ridden inside one. Although, he was sure that was about to change, seeing the luggage strapped to the top and Muzan standing near the driver door.
He’d never been on a boat either. Little ones, for traversing across lakes and rivers, but never one that sailed across the ocean. But this was for Nezuko. Reminding himself of that gave him the courage to exit the clinic and meet with them by the car.
“Thank you very much Miss Shinobu!” As soon as he was at her side, he bowed his head deeply, and expanded his voice to all corners of the street to be sure to express how grateful he really was. She made a small sound, most likely from surprise, and rested her palm against his shoulder to bring him back up. Her smile was soft when he met her gaze again. However, like before, he could still see the sorrow in her eyes.
“I can’t promise you that she’ll survive, but I’m confident that I can keep her where she is for as long as my ability allows it.” Her hand retreated to her multicolored haori, where she reached within to pull out a tied paper envelope. “So, thank me when this is all finished and you’ve returned with what you need. And...” She held it out to him with that, and he took the weightless thing between his fingers without much thought. “Give that to Giyuu for me, will you?”
“Y-Yes ma’am.”
Muzan was in the car by the time he’d said his farewells to the woman he practically owed his life to. He tucked the envelope into his pocket with a trembling hand, unable to fight the nervous tremor that shot up his spine when he realized again that he’d be riding in a vehicle for the first time in his life. The uproar of the engine startled him after he’d sat down, had his whole body pressed into the leather seat and his knuckles bleached white from gripping the handle of the door so tight. He held his breath once it began to move, filled his lungs to the brim in anticipation and struggled to find a comfortable position in his seat. His mind was reeling, his body skittish and antsy.
Shinobu watched them until they disappeared around a corner and he realized, while glancing out the window and toward the horizon, that the bleeding reds and oranges of the sunset didn’t look beautiful that day and they probably wouldn't for a long time.