Chapter Text
Cosima sat in bed, fluffy comforter pulled up to her chest, a cup of steaming tea on the side table. She heard Delphine in the kitchen, clinking a few pots and pans, working on the dinner she had promised the brunette. Cosima caught a glimpse of Delphine through the doorway, walking with a handful of vegetables from the cutting board to the stove as delicious smells wafted into the bedroom.
Cosima had been sick with the clone disease for six months now. After Delphine fought her way back to Toronto from Frankfurt, she and Cosima moved back to Minnesota, both of them occupying the small apartment where Cosima lived when they first met. Cosima stayed in contact with the rest of clone club, but the distance from DYAD offered both women a little more security than Toronto could offer. Delphine had spent every spare second working through Dr. Duncan's cipher, decoding the cure to her girlfriend's illness. It had been two months of sitting over microscopes and pouring over research at University of Minnesota, staying up all night and pounding coffee the next morning to get herself through the day.
Last week, Delphine's perpetual exhaustion finally paid off when she could mutter the words, "I've done it, mon amour. I've discovered the cure." Cosima's face had lit up for the first time in months. For a moment, Delphine thought, she saw a glimpse of pre-everything Cosima. Pre-betrayal. Pre-sickness. Pre-perpetual fear. Delphine's heart sang.
Cosima began treatment the next day. The regiment consisted of routine testing and imaging to keep track of the her progress, along with three shots a day, each of which knocked her out almost immediately. Cosima had slept most of the week away, and would wake up long enough to eat and shuffle to and from the bathroom before collapsing again on their bed, exhausted.
Six months of disease without the cure had eaten away at her body. The soft curves she once sported were gone and replaced by sinewy muscles and an easily visible ribcage. Her clothes hung loosely and her eyes were underscored with dark circles beneath. Cosima used a cane when she walked to steady herself. Though she had originally protested, Delphine insisted she use one after she returned home one night to find Cosima in the middle of the kitchen, unable to pull herself up after a fall. Now, Delphine was able to give her the shots and blood draw at home, so Cosima only had to use it outside of the house when Delphine scheduled ct scans.
Even after a week, the polyps on her lungs and uterus were shrinking in size. Her cough was as bad as ever, but less blood found it's way to her lips. She was healing, if slowly.
After Delphine had discovered the cure, she promised to stay at Cosima's side through her entire treatment. Being away from Cosima while she was still researching a cure was hell--watching her get more sick by the day and knowing that it was more helpful for her to be in the lab broke her heart. But, the shots were synthesized now. She had all of the equipment at home that she needed, and there was not one moment Cosima had been out of her sight since.
Cosima kept watching through the doorway, catching flashes of Delphine as she moved back and forth in their small kitchen, piecing together a filling, high calorie meal. She popped her head out of the doorway unexpectedly.
"How is the tea, ma cherie?" Her apron was pulled tight across her hips, sweater sleeves rolled up to her elbows.
"Still too hot, I think," Cosima replied. "I bet it would warm up my hands, though." She pulled the hot mug between her palms and watched the steam rise in puffs.
Delphine watched Cosima with a smile and a heartache. "Dinner is almost ready. Are you feeling hungry?"
"Totes! I'm starving!"
"Good," Delphine smiled with her whole body at Cosima's reply. An appetite was good. An appetite meant progress.
She walked slowly to the bed with a tray of soup and crispy baguette slathered in butter. Every fatty thing she could think to add to Cosima's meal, she did. They ate together on the bed in a comfortable relative silence, Delphine sometimes sharing an article she read, or Cosima talking about what she wanted to do once she was healthy again.
"Just a simple walk," she joked. "Sans cane."
"I could borrow a wheelchair from the lab and we could go out on a walk tomorrow," Delphine offered as she bit into her bread. She knew it wasn't what Cosima meant, but the gesture made Cosima's heart swell.
"That would be kick ass. I feel like I haven't been outside in ages." She took a sip of tea. "There hasn't been, like, a zombie apocalypse or anything, has there? Because I honestly wouldn't know."
Delphine laughed. "I have been wondering how to break the news to you."
"I knew it!" Cosima held the bowl of soup up to her lips and tipped it, pouring the last drops into her mouth. "That was so delicious, thank you."
Delphine took Cosima's hands in her own and rubbed her knuckles gently. "Of course, mon amour. I am just so happy that you are feeling well enough to eat like that. You lost so much weight. I'm glad to know you will be able to put it back on." She kissed the backs of Cosima's hands, then gathered their bowls and headed for the kitchen sink.
"Ugh, I know. I feel like a skeleton. Can't blame you for not wanting to tap this." Cosima heard Delphine drop the bowls in the sink quickly and then watched her reappear in a second.
"Quoi?" She asked, standing in the doorway. "You think I don't want to have sex?"
Cosima shrugged and looked down at her hands, twirling her thumbs around each other. "I mean, we haven't exactly been able to do much of anything since you came back from Frankfurt. I know it's a health risk." She looked up at Delphine, whose hand was rubbing at the worry crease between her eyes. "I guess I just thought it might be weird or gross for you since I'm all, like, bloody mouth and emaciated body."
"Nothing about you is gross to me, Cosima." The brunette did not look convinced. Delphine walked to the bed, straddled Cosima's knees, and cradled her face between her palms. "I have been so worried about you, so consumed with finding a cure, that everything else was out of my mind." She leaned forward to brush her lips over her lover's sharp cheekbones. "I also just didn't want to hurt you or cause another coughing fit. Just breathing normally can start..."
"I know. I know. You're right." She sighed. "To be honest, I don't even think that my body has enough energy to get there if I tried." Cosima chuckled lightly to herself and Delphine noticed the pain, the exhaustion behind it.
"I miss it too," Delphine confessed, urging Cosima's eyes to meet hers. "I cannot wait for the day you have a clean bill of health." She dragged her fingers down from Cosima's cheek to lightly brush over her breast. The brunette closed her eyes at the feel of Delphine's hand on her. Even through her sweatshirt, Cosima's nerves were tingling.
"Me, too," she grinned. "I'm gonna rock your world." Cosima winked at the blonde, who bit her lip and slowly pulled her mouth into a large smile.
"I have no doubt, mon amour."
"I really should be making a list of things I want to do or something. I have nothing to do all day but sit in bed and, like, daydream about doin' it." Delphine laughed loudly, leaning forward to tuck her face into the crook of Cosima's neck. Her lips brushed over the brunette's pulse point and she felt Cosima inhale sharply. The she heard the familiar throat-clear, the one that Cosima made when she felt a coughing fit coming on but wanted to suppress it. Delphine pulled back, worried, and grabbed a tissue from the nightstand.
Cosima coughed into her hand, barreling forward, her eyes wincing at the pain roaring up her chest. Delphine moved off of her legs and began rubbing long, calming strokes down her love's spine. The fit lasted a minute or two, then subsided. The tissue was spotted with blood when she pulled it away.
Delphine quietly removed the tissue from Cosima's palm and wiped at the blood on her lips until they were clean. Cosima took a long drink to tea to wash the inside of her mouth.
"Well, that was super sexy."
"Cosima..."
"I mean, you kiss my neck a few times and my body can't keep up with breathing a little faster." She sighed. "It's frustrating as hell."
"I know. It is for me, too." Delphine shifted next to Cosima, wrapping her arms around the tiny woman, pulling her close.
"But your body works just fine."
"I know, it is not fair," Delphine replied, brushing stray hairs back from Cosima's face. Cosima looked up, searching for Delphine's hazel eyes as her head rested on the blonde's shoulder.
"No that's not what I mean..." Cosima trailed off. "Are you, um, like, taking care of yourself?" Delphine felt the heat of a blush creeping up her neck at Cosima's question. "As in, sexually..."
"I know what you meant," Delphine smiled, nervous.
"Well?"
"Well, what?" Delphine said.
Cosima waggled her eyebrows at Delphine's embarrassment. "Are you sitting here just as sexually frustrated as me, or have you been taking care of business?"
Delphine laughed loudly. "The two are not mutually exclusive. I am frustrated, yes. And I am also able to 'take care of business'" she mocked, "when the need arises." Delphine watched Cosima's eyebrows peak up in surprise and curiosity. Cosima's silence prompted Delphine to keep talking. "I mean, as I was researching the cure, I was too exhausted to do much of anything. But since the shots have been working, and I have been getting more rest, those urges do come from time to time."
Delphine's fingers toyed with Cosima's, glided over her palms and wrist, as the brunette's dreads rested on her shoulder and draped over her arm.
Cosima cleared her throat and paused. "Would you touch yourself in front of me?"
Delphine inhaled sharply, a jolt of electricity shot from head to toe, reverberating in her groin.
"Now?"
"Well, not if you're not in the mood. I don't want to force it or anything."
"Non. I do not feel forced." Delphine placed her hand on the back of Cosima's neck, guiding their faces together and brushing the brunette's lips lightly with her own, slowly and lightly kissing her. She watched Cosima's eyes flutter shut, felt the smaller woman willing her breathing to remain slow and steady. "Lay back," Delphine whispered as she pulled away, guiding Cosima's head away from her shoulder toward the pillow. She wondered for a second where this boldness came from when only seconds before she had been blushing at a question.
She slipped out of their bed and stood next to Cosima. The brunette's eyes were wide and curious, and followed Delphine's hands as she tugged at the bottom of her sweater and pulled it over her head. Delphine popped the clasp of her bra and pulled the straps off slowly, not teasing, just letting Cosima take her time in watching.
She hooked her thumbs at the waistband of her shorts, pulling them down slowly and tugging her underwear along with them. Cosima's tongue flicked out from between her lips quickly and she pushed herself up firmer against the headboard. Her eyes raked over Delphine's form. Her beautiful breasts and graceful shoulders, the curve of her hips and her feminine stomach. That patch of hair at the juncture of her thighs.
She'd seen the blonde naked plenty of times in the last few months, just as Delphine had seen her bare skin while helping her bathe or change clothes. But this felt different. The blonde wasn't slipping into pajamas or hopping into the shower. She was standing next to their bed, naked, with the intention of pleasuring herself.
Delphine lifted her right knee into the bed and swung it over Cosima's thigh, moving to straddle her again over the comforter. She steadied herself using Cosima's shoulders and leaned down to kiss her once again. She kept it slow and light, not wanting their kiss to deepen for fear of obstructing Cosima's access to oxygen or starting another coughing fit.
"Is this okay?" Cosima asked.
"Yes," Delphine smiled and kissed her once more. She raised up, letting her hips rest against her heels, knees flush to Cosima's hips.
Cosima watched Delphine's fingers trail up her own thighs as the blonde bit her bottom lip. Her left hand reached up to brush against her nipple lightly, circling it and wrapping her hand entirely around her breast. Cosima's hand gently reached up to brush the other one, her eyes staring into Delphine's.
The blonde's right hand found it's way to the patch of light brown curls that hovered over Cosima's thighs. She moaned softly as her fingers swirled gently over her clit and ran through the folds of her labia.
"Can I taste you?" Cosima asked, her hand still brushing over her girlfriend's breast.
Delphine answered by running the fingers that had just collected her wetness gently over Cosima's bottom lip. Her tongue snuck out and collected what she could, pressing a kiss to Delphine's fingertips to let her know she was done.
Delphine's hand returned to her clit, swirling lightly, again and again, until her hips began moving in time with her fingers. The hand that had been teasing her own breast found it's way to her entrance, feeling the heat and wetness collecting. Cosima watched Delphine tease her opening, watched her girlfriend's fingertips disappear, deeper each time, as she teased herself. The brunette struggled to keep her breathing normal.
Delphine sank down into her own fingers, years and years of practice allowing her to know exactly where to press and how deeply. "I wish it was you," she confessed, as her hips started moving in time with her hand. Cosima rolled Delphine's nipple between her fingers. She watched the blonde's hand push around her clit, her fingers wet and shaky.
"It is me." Cosima leaned forward to press neat, soft kisses to Delphine's sternum. "I'm watching you. I'm here with you."
She felt the blonde's hips jerking more frantically, so she pulled back to watch. Delphine's eyes were locked on Cosima's. The hand inside of her was pushing quickly in and out and the hand on her clit drew hard, precise circles. Delphine's mouth fell open as her hips thrust forward and she let out a long, loud moan. The orgasm spilled out of every pore. She felt the muscles inside of her squeezing her fingers as she rode out every last wave. Cosima's hands pinched her nipples as the last few aftershocks subsided.
"Merde." Delphine's hands slipped out of and away from her cunt, wrapping around Cosima's shoulders and pulling her close. Cosima stroked Delphine's mass of blonde waves and soothed down her spine as she came down from her high. Delphine pulled away just enough to slip under the covers, next to Cosima, tucking the smaller woman under her arm, wrapping around her protectively.
"Was it good for you? Cause it was good for me," Cosima said nuzzling into Delphine's side.
"Mmm," Delphine hummed, pressing soft kisses to Cosima's hairline.
"Seriously, I'm making a list. Places and ways we are going to get it on once I'm all healed up."
"I look forward to adding to that list. And, of course doing my best to help check them all off." She smiled. Cosima tilted her head back, pale, bony knuckles brushing against the rosy glow on Delphine's cheeks. "I was worried you would feel unsatisfied."
"I mean I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really turned on right now. But I know that trying to fix that would probably lead to bloody tissues and a ton of pain, so I can ignore it for now."
"I promise you I will make it worth the wait." Delphine reached across her side nightstand and turned off the lamp that had been illuminating the space.
"You better," Cosima teased, poking her in the ribs.
"Keep getting better and I will do anything you want." Delphine's hands stroked down Cosima's back, soothing and warming as she felt the brunette shiver and take in a shaky breath. Slowly, her breathing evened out and Delphine felt Cosima drift into slumber.
She thought briefly about the dishes in the sink and decided to leave them. This was the most peaceful she'd seen Cosima in months and she didn't have the heart to move her.